Category: Review

Opus (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A young writer travels to the remote compound of a legendary pop star who mysteriously disappeared 30 years ago. 

This is the debut feature of writer/director Mark Anthony Green, and I feel it has to be viewed through that lens. There are parts of Opus that could only be made by someone early on in their career, which I mean as a positive and a negative. There’s an ambition behind the work, an ambition and cockiness that would have been beaten down by experience. There are narrative and visual risks that can only come from a newcomer. On the downside; it doesn’t live up to its own ambitions. Green KNOWS what he wants to say, but he doesn’t quite know how to say it.

I will say this, Green is fantastic at setting up tense moments, he’s also good at all-out narrative chaos. What he’s not so great at is connecting the two. Narratively, it feels like a walk through creepy woods. Very slow, very deliberate, very unnerving. It then realises you’re never going to reach the end in time so pushes you down a hill. There’s a definitive cliff-pushing moment here, and the moment itself is brilliant. But it’s such a shift that it feels a bit weird. It seems like there could have been a few more scenes beforehand. I also wasn’t a fan of how it ended. I know what they were going for, and on paper, it’s a tremendous ending, truly some Twilight Zone/Outer Limits shit. But for some reason, it just didn’t work for me. I can’t even fully explain why. The ending made sense, it ties into the characters well, plays into the themes perfectly etc. It just……..I dunno, it didn’t quite land. It felt more like a concept of an ending, a casual conversation between people about “we should end like this” rather than an actual ending. It’s not helped by the fact that it’s dependent on everything going EXACTLY as they planned.

Not to say Opus isn’t a worthwhile watch. The music alone makes it a good experience. Green did a FANTASTIC job of setting the world up. It doesn’t punch you over the face with “This is how the world is different”. It sets up our reality, then slides into the Opus reality through aged footage and interviews with people the audience is familiar with. If you showed someone the montage parts of this, you could easily convince them that it’s reality. The locations feel real too. In particular, the compound feels vast and like you could actually walk around and explore it, with the film subtly providing enough clues that it’s probably possible to create a map. The music feels like real music too. Crucially, in regards to the pop star, it never feels like Malkovich is playing the part, it feels like he IS the part.

The other performers more than hold their own. Ayo Edebiri continues to be one of the most consistent young performers around, Juliette Lewis gives a performance worthy of the character, and Tony Hale has hair. Nobody gives a weak performance, even cult members who are only there for a single scene are spot on (as is Rosario Dawson as the puppet of Billie Holiday).

I love that Opus actually had something to say. The “cult of celebrity” aspect is not exactly subtle, but it is timely. I mean, America handed political power who named a department after a meme, and he was in that position because of his celebrity status (and bribery, possible bribery). People keep telling celebrities “stop talking about politics” (normally ONLY when they support a different political party than the person complaining), but political parties still court them, because they know the viewpoints of celebrities carry weight. The whole anti-vaxxer movement in the US entered mainstream political conversation because of celebrities, and for some reason, people view the medical opinions of Jim Carrey as having more worth than actual doctors. The cult of celebrity is ripe for satire and ridiculing, and that’s something Opus does fantastically. Yeah, it doesn’t quite know WHAT it wants to say about it, but I respect it for at least trying.

Green will make something superb once he finds his visual voice. At the moment, as impressive as it looks, it never looks unique. Even at its most tense, it feels like shots were designed with “now make this like a Jordan Peele film, now make this look like this Midsommar, now make this like The Menu” in mind. Opus is overly ambitious, but I would MUCH rather watch that than a film where the creators didn’t try. So it’s hard to dislike it too much, even if I didn’t like it that much as it went on.

Mickey 17 (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Mickey is an expendable (not the Jason Statham kind), which means his job is to die doing dangerous work and be replaced by a new version of him again and again. Things go wrong when he carelessly doesn’t die, and meets his own replacement. Yup, it’s essentially Moon, but weirder.

I’ll say this right out of the gate; this isn’t as good as Parasite. But Parasite is one of the best films ever made. Mickey 17 is still fine, still so fine it blows my mind, hey mickey! Dumb joke, I know, but at least I didn’t make the “I haven’t seen Mickey 1-16” joke.

The other thing to point out is that just because you like the trailer, that doesn’t mean you’ll like the movie. The film itself is much slower-paced than you’d think. It’s not as chaotic and fun as the energetic trailer made it seem. That’s not to say it’s not a fun experience at times. There’s some FANTASTIC comedy in here. It’s just that in between the comedy and slapstick, there are dark truths about humanity and some incredibly unsubtle satire. It reminds me of how John Oliver described Russia; very funny, until it’s suddenly very not.

Mickey 17 is not subtle, and Boon Joon Ho is not a subtle filmmaker. But these are not subtle times. These are times when the world is going to shit, politicians are threatening to invade countries and their supporters respond with “Well just because he said he was going to explore military options to grab their territory doesn’t mean he wants to invade them”, as if countries will be persuaded to give up land by, I dunno, fucking parades or ironed uniforms or some shit? This is a perfect time for a movie like this. We need to see what happens when a populist and sociopathic leader is given power, his cult followers ignoring every sense of self-preservation because they believe the bullshit he’s sprouting. They believe the man who eats the finest food every day when he talks about how everyone needs to make sacrifices, which include cutting back on food for everyone else. Like I said, not subtle. Joon Ho wields his fury like a blunt weapon, but a weapon that has the potential to do a lot of damage. The fact that this feels VERY 2025 is weird considering it was meant to be released last year. The delayed release schedule has only made it feel more relevant, which is a depressing thought. It’s not just the politics, it attacks the personal too. It’s very telling that the first person to see Mickey die onscreen is his friend from earth (who is responsible for the situation in the first place), and he just reacts with nonchalance. Yes, he’ll come back, but what does it say that you can watch your friend die and not be haunted by it? How desensitized to human suffering must you be to not be bothered by it? Next time you want to know that question, look at how people respond to migrant deaths. We are not better than the characters in this movie. We are just as shitty, just as heartless, and we need to be reminded of that occasionally so we can fix that shit.

Even without the politics, it’s still a worthwhile watch. The visuals are stunning. The snow-covered beauty of Niflheim is poster-worthy, and the designs of the creepers perfectly toe the line between cute and disturbing. There are zero parts where the visuals let you down, whether it’s in space, the brutal deaths, or even the part where we see half a body being created.

None of that, the script, the visuals, none of it would matter if it wasn’t for the performances. Obviously, Pattinson will get the acclaim, and rightfully so. Even in the same clothes, there is zero chance you’ll get Mickey 17 and 18 confused. I love that he’s reached that stage of his career where he’s just doing weird shit. I want to see him and Radcliffe do something else together now they’re both in their weird shit phase. Mark Ruffalo is despicable, but his influences are a bit too obvious. I loved Patsy Ferran too. It’s actually the second time I’ve mentioned her in this blog, I mentioned her in my review of Tom And Jerry (available here) where I said

“The real star of the show for me is Patsy Ferran as an awkward bellhop. Her character steals every single scene she’s in and I wish it focused more on her instead of, well, every other human character”

She’s just as good this time too. But with the added bonus of actually being in a good movie and surrounded by talented performers this time. I still want to see her in a bigger role, but it’s still nice to see her.

Now onto the bad. There are moments when it seems things are being set up, which are then discarded. Characters act a certain way and then those motivations are ignored in the next scene. There’s also a dream sequence near the end which, to put it mildly, is a complete waste of time. It’s also going to be far too long for some people to be into.

Personally? I loved this. It was long, but I was never bored. It’s not my favourite film of the year. But it’s my favourite “blockbuster” that I’ve seen in a long time. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I was this pleased by a big-budget bombastic piece of cinema. I want more films like this. The world needs more films like this. And if there’s a single positive (albeit a very minor one) of the world’s shitshow, hopefully, it’s that we get great art like this.

One Of Them Days (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: When her boyfriend takes her rent money, Alyssa and her roommate race against the clock to avoid eviction

I love the Friday franchise, ever since I first saw the second one. They’re fun, funny, and very American. The first two were a huge part of my adolescence, and why I couldn’t honestly say that they shaped me in any way or form, I have, and will always have, warm feelings towards them. I’m hoping that in the future, people will be saying that about One Of Them Days (OOTD, pronounced ooot-ta-da). It does everything that Friday did well; the chemistry between the two leads (one of whom is played by a musician), a plot that revolves around finding money while trying to juggle adult responsibilities, a romantic yearning over someone, a group of unique and weird background characters. The biggest difference between the two is the lack of family presence in OOTD. Other than that, they are very similar. Not in a derivative or “what’s the point if I’ve already seen Friday?” way. More like hearing two bands play the same song; yes, the core beats are the same, but it’s up to the talent involved to make it work and play the same narrative tune differently.

Everyone involved is clearly talented. Keke Palmer continues to impress. I loved her in Nope, but OOTD allows her to flex her comedic muscles. She also has great chemistry with SZA (funnily enough; they both starred in the same episode of SNL back in 2022, I don’t know whether that had anything to do with this movie, I just found it an interesting tidbit). This is SZA’s acting debut, but you couldn’t tell. Most of the dramatic weight does go to Palmer, but there are no moments where you look at SZA and think it’s stunt casting, She more than holds her own, and while I don’t see her winning any Academy Awards in the next few years, I wouldn’t be surprised if she was given sole lead duties in something.

The supporting cast is great too, being helped by how weird the characters are. Katt Williams in particular is clearly having a lot of fun. It’s the first time I’ve seen Keyla Monterroso Mejia, but I’m a huge fan of what she did in the short moments she was on screen.

OOTD will not change your life. I can’t imagine it being the film which influences future generations to create. But it is an insanely fun time, and one I’m definitely glad I watched. I’m also curious what Syreeta Singelton will come up with next. She’s got a talent for dialogue and characterisation. The plot isn’t perfect, with it occasionally feeling like a series of skits using the narrative as an excuse to move between them, rather than a cohesive story where stuff happens. A few scenes also go on a bit too long because the script needs to fit a few more jokes in. But those are minor quibbles. It’s still something you’re unlikely to regret seeing.

The Monkey (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Hal and his son Petey spend a final weekend together before Hal signs away parental rights. A weekend that’s spoiled somewhat by a toy monkey that causes brutal deaths, seemingly targeting Hals family.

Two weeks. That’s the difference between me loving this movie, and me just really liking it. The reason for this? Two weeks before watching The Monkey, I saw the trailer for Final Destination: Bloodlines. As such, when I watched The Monkey, all I could think of was Final Destination. That is unfair to this movie, I know, but I felt I had to mention it.

Aside from that? This is fun. It’s not really a horror movie. Yes, it’s bloody and violent, but it’s not that scary. There are not that many moments where you’re on the edge of your seat with how tense it is, or where you’re concerned for characters and want to see them survive. If anything, you’re intrigued. You look around the room, curious as to how deaths will occur. The deaths aren’t particularly harrowing. They are VERY bloody, and some will make you jump because of how sudden they are, but they won’t stick with you. You won’t be haunted by any of the violence in The Monkey, you may laugh.

None of that is meant as a criticism, by the way. Just establishing the tone so that nobody will go in expecting something different from what they get. The Monkey should not be a serious horror movie, it should be stupid. Remember Night Swim from last year? If so, you may be entitled to compensation. Night Swim (as reviewed here) was a ridiculous concept that tried to play it seriously and suffered for it. It should have done what The Monkey did. The Monkey is well aware of how ridiculous it is and never pretends to be anything else. That’s why it’s worthwhile. It is always entertaining. Part of that is due to the directing, Osgood Perkins knows the beats to hit both in terms of narrative and directing. The performances work too. Theo James has come a long way from having shit on his nose in The Inbetweeners Movie. He has a duel rule there as both brothers. He does a pretty good job of playing the two characters as different people, but a lot of that is due to the wardrobe design too, but James does carry both of them differently enough for audiences to never be confused.

The other performers are great too. Elijah Wood is such a dick. It would have been nice to have him in it more, but I can’t think of a natural way for the film to have that happen, so I’m okay with it. The only other performer who is given enough time is Colin O’Brien, who spends so much time with his character being sullen and uncooperative that it’s difficult to actually judge his performance fairly.

I will admit, I was not a fan of the ending. Not the lead-up to the ending, or even the final moment. But there’s a symbolic moment in the closing scene which didn’t really work for me. It felt like it was symbolism for the sake of symbolism, just to show how smart the writers are. Shame, as the rest of the film is tightly written, closing up narrative loopholes you think you’ve spotted. The characters all have clear motivations, so even when they do stupid things, it makes sense. There’s a moment at the start (the inciting incident in fact) that feels a bit sudden, two one-minute scenes building up to it would have helped sell that moment a lot better because at the moment it makes a character’s reaction seem a bit extreme.

In summary; not perfect, not essential, but extremely entertaining. I’ve sold how silly and fun it is, but when it gets serious it works too, especially when it touches on family dynamics. That’s to be expected with Osgood’s family history. Osgood’s father was Anthony Perkins, who spent a lot of his life closeted (in terms of public appearance anyway) and married to someone who tried to keep his homosexual nature a secret from his own sons. And his mother? Died in the 9/11 attacks. So it makes sense that someone like him would be effective at crossing over the line between grief and violence, especially when it comes to family relationships. With that in mind, there are parts of The Monkey that do feel like therapy, but in a good way. This is Perkins doing what only he can. He utilises his personal experience and cloaks it in a way that he can sell to a mass audience. His next step is Keeper later in the year, which looks like a more serious prospect than The Monkey, but I’m interested in seeing it.

Captain America: Brave New World (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Captain America punches things.

I’m assuming you guys have seen The Producers, right? If not, I’ll briefly explain the plot (spoilers for a nearly 60-year-old film by the way). The two characters (Leo and Max), attempt to produce a play that’s so bad that it gets cancelled quickly, allowing them to earn money (nobody checks the books on failures, so they can accept more funding and give away over 100% of stock). Why am I mentioning this? One, because it’s a great film and you should watch it. Two, so you can understand just how good season 4 of Curb Your Enthusiasm is. Three: because are the studio heads at Disney trying to do something similar with the MCU? This is not because of the film, but because of the trailer. Captain America: Brave New World (or CA: BNW, pronounced Car-Bo-new) is a good movie. The failure is in terms of the marketing. What was in the trailer? Red Hulk. What was the focus of all the merchandise? Red Hulk. What’s on the posters? Red Hulk.

But this isn’t really about Red Hulk. He appears in one scene near the very end. It’s also supposed to be a twist. It’s something that’s foreshadowed and built up to, so you wonder what’s happening to the character. It would be like if the marketing campaign for Saw 3D was based entirely around the return of Cary Elwes and this time he’s a villain. The Wait For Red Hulk means that CA: BNW feels like a prequel. You’re not watching to see what happens, you’re watching to see HOW something you know will happen happens. I’m incredibly disappointed that they did that. Not just because it ruins the film, but also because it makes it seem like they chased “butts in seats” rather than compelling storytelling.

It’s not a prequel, obviously. It’s a sequel. It’s not a sequel to the Captain America films, that would be too obvious. It’s a sequel to Hulk. With returning characters and cameos from Hulk, instead of from the first three Captain America movies. I get it, it’s a new Captain America, so villains from the first three movies wouldn’t have any beef with New Cap, but they certainly have more in common with him than the people the film decides to use.

That aside; CA: BNW is actually a lot of fun if you don’t stop to think about it for more than a few seconds. It has some decent side characters who are worth investing in. They’re well-written enough that if they died, it would mean something, so the action scenes actually have tension in them. It also has a genuinely great performance from Carl Lumbly. His performance has SO much emotional weight behind it. Giancarlo Esposito is also good, but not in it anywhere near as long as he should be.

That is a common criticism of the MCU. It puts so many eggs of character in its narrative cake that it ends up inedible and confusing (a bit like this metaphor). That’s definitely the case here. You could eliminate one of the villains (and probably the other black widow) and it wouldn’t affect the narrative that much. The MCU has a habit of changing films in post-production a lot, but it never seems to have “make it streamlined” as a goal.

It’s inevitable that some people will hate this, it’s now cool to hate the MCU, plus it has a black lead, so that’s going to annoy some “people” automatically because “WOOOOOOOOOKE!”. It doesn’t deserve that. It’s not as good as Winter Soldier, but I found more to like about BNW than I did the first Cap movie. The main villain is logical and is awarded a decent redemption arc. It would have helped to give them a few more moments of humanity, but there’s enough to give a teaser that he isn’t a complete shit before the full heel turn. I hope the other MCU films this year are better (especially Fantastic Four), but if this is the worst then it’s going to be a cracking year for them. Most of the flaws are down to (presumed) studio interference, so it’s hard to be annoyed at the creatives for that.

September 5 (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A retelling of the events of the 1972 Munich Massacre, from the perspective of the real heroes: Television journalists.

I went into this semi-blind (and also battling a HORRIFIC fever but that’s beside the point). I knew rough details about the event, but not enough to recall. So I didn’t know how many died, how it ended etc. This is because I haven’t seen Munich before September 5, and I also haven’t seen any of the (checks how many days there are between January 1 and September 5) 247 films in the series that are set before this (I have seen Friday the 13th, but that doesn’t give a month so I’m not sure if it’s set before or after September 5).

I think that ignorance of reality (great band name btw) actually helped though. It meant that the film could pull off a rug-pull. If I did know a lot about the event, then there’s a moment to the end which would have seemed a bit weird, you’d sit there thinking “hang on, that’s not what happened”, before the truth is actually revealed. As should be obvious by now, I won’t be judging this on historical accuracy, as I don’t know enough about it to do so. I didn’t see any characters use an iPhone or talk about the series finale of Gavin and Stacy, so I’m taking it as historically accurate.

Accurate, it may be, but is it really necessary? For those lucky enough to not pay attention to the news, the Israel/Palestine conflict has turned incredibly heated over the last year or so. With that in mind, it’s kind of uncomfortable to watch something like this, which at times feels like propaganda in terms of how it treats the conflict. Fun fact, one of the characters in this movie (Peter Jennings) was actually pro-Palestine. That’s why he refused to refer to Black September as “terrorists” on air. In the movie? His reasons for doing so are “it’s too early so we don’t know”. So the only pro-Palestinian voice in the movie has been neutered, and I’m sure that’s for creative reasons.

Other than that? I’ve never been so bored whilst also being fascinated. The story is interesting, but visually it’s lacking. If you like watching people speak on phones, this is the movie for you. I know there’s only so much you can do with a grounded story, but it does kind of feel like a documentary where someone has just grabbed a camera and started filming. The performances are all fine, but none of them really stand out.

The performances aren’t helped by the writing, despite characters expressing misgivings, they only ever feel surface level. So when they realise “Hang on, the hostage-takers are watching our coverage, so they know what the local law enforcement are planning”, none of them feel haunted by it. When they get caught lying at the end, a point is made that “you still did the right thing”, even when they clearly didn’t.

When the characters aren’t just talking, when they’re actually DOING, September 5 is fascinating. It may just be my educational background, but I loved watching them prepare everything. Seeing them set up the cameras, prepare the insets etc is delightful competency porn. As a piece of historical viewing, September 5 is incredible. It does a fantastic job of showing just how the team pulled off what they did. Which is why I wish this was a documentary instead. Trying to shoehorn the true tale into a traditional 3-act structure hampers the story they’re trying to tell. It also stops them from providing historical context, since all the characters obviously know what led to it, they never bother telling the audience. On the one hand, this is incredibly realistic, but on the other, it does leave some holes. What is the status of the Israel/Palestine war at this time? Is there active fighting? Has there been a recent ceasefire? These are important questions which the characters already know, but the audience doesn’t. Considering it’s about the news industry, it would have been such an easy fix too; just provide a news montage of a brief history of the Olympics/the conflict.

In summary; fascinating story, not too interesting a film. Reminds me of that film about the Chilean miners a few years ago.

Heart Eyes (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Every Valentine’s Day, a serial killer attacks couples. This year is no different.

I watched this the same day as Love Hurts, another Valentine’s Day-based movie with a twist. Heart Eyes is better, I’ll lead with that. Not to say it’s perfect, I have very specific problems with it that I’ll go into later, but it is mostly a pretty fun watch. My big issue is one that I can easily see some people actually liking, it’s all down to personal preference, as all reviews are.

I don’t think the script of the original Scream (as in the movie, not the painting, the script for that is only worth 1000 thousand words) is as highly regarded as it should be. It’s not just a horror movie, it’s a well-crafted mystery. There are clues, red herrings, along with lots of foreshadowing. The reveal is stupendous, when you hear it, you feel as if you should go “Ohhhh, well that’s obvious now I know the answer”. You don’t get that with Heart Eyes. Part of that is because it doesn’t build up the background characters that much. Scream had a large pool of suspects to draw from, so as you watched it, your brain was juggling between them, trying to figure out which one could be the killer. Heart Eyes only provides you with one option, doing all it can to signpost that this person is the killer. So either there’s no mystery, or it’s wasted its time giving you only red herrings instead of actual clues, neither of which is particularly narratively satisfying. The reveal itself is…..well it won’t end up on the list of greatest killer reveals, put it that way.

That’s a shame because if the mystery aspect was handled better, Heart Eyes would be a top 5 horror movie of the year, easily (probably still will be, but it is at risk). It does what I like my horror movies to do; have non-horror moments that are still interesting to watch. The central romance between Ally and Jay is lovely to see. It helps that Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding have really good chemistry. Their meet-cute is legit adorable. Take out the murders and you could easily frame this as a straight romcom.

So how about the horror moments? They’re fucking great. Companion (the other love-themed horror movie of the month) was a better movie, but Heart Eyes had MUCH better kills. They’re brutal, but not gratuitous. It doesn’t shy away from showing you the outcomes, people get squashed in machines and there’s a lot of blood, people get holes in their heads, and stabbed in places. “Holes in the head” does sometimes mean weird body physics in film, we’ve all seen horror movies where the killer punches someone and somehow their fist makes a hole in their skull. Moments like that can really pull you out of the movie because they’re not scary, they turn horror movies into cartoons with characters made of paper. Thankfully, that’s not the case here. Yes, characters do get attacked and end up looking like a polo mint, but the way it happens often makes sense in terms of physics, you can easily see how what happened COULD break through someone’s skull. The attacks all have weight to them, when people get hit with an object, you can feel the pain it causes, and you know they’re not going to get up. This helps it feel scarier and more violent, the realism makes it easy to buy into the concept that this is real.

What also helps sell the illusion of reality is how people react. They panic but try to not overdo it. There’s no “everybody in the country locks themselves in their homes”, because (as COVID showed), people wouldn’t do that. But people still took precautions (just like COVID), because everybody realised this is a big deal and to not do at least something would be incredibly selfish (just like…..oh wait, not like COVID, people were selfish during that). Restaurants that take bookings on that day carry out checks for weapons because you would in that situation. What’s not realistic is that this is still America, and there’s no “just because there’s a serial killer around doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to bring my gun everywhere I go. Yes, even into a restaurant, table for one since my wife left me, but gun didn’t. Gun still loves me” pushback from Fox News.

For two-thirds of this movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it, but the reveal REALLY let it down. As did two characters who were just unrealistically stupid, even for a horror movie. It is still a really solid 7.5/10, but it could have been so much more.

Love Hurts (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Marvin is a mild-manner realtor whose past (and ex-girlfriend) comes back to haunt him

I like Ke Huy Quan, he’s one of those people who you can easily imagine being late for an awards show because he needed to buy a coat for a stranger he saw who looked cold. I’m also becoming a fan of Marshawn Lynch, who seems to always go all out into ridiculousness (for proof of this, watch Bottoms. As in, the film called Bottoms, don’t watch strangers arsecheeks, that’s weird).

So with that in mind, it kind of (love) hurts me to say that this movie is not good. The concept is good, but the execution is lacking. The fight scenes are mostly okay, but some are shot with a lack of clarity so it’s difficult to figure out what is going on. It also suffers from a lack of “that” scene. There’s no fight scene that you can tell people “You need to see this” and pull it up on Youtube to show them. There are attempts at this (i get the feeling the fight in the club near the end was an attempt at this). There a few moments within the scenes which are fun, teeth being ripped out by duct tape was a particularly gruesome and wince-inducing moment.

There’s a foundation of a good idea here; an action-based romcom could work. But the romantic notions feel really tacked on. There are two main romances, both of which feel kind of abusive in different ways. I had no desire to see the romances work, I didn’t buy into them as real or heartwarming. We’re not given a reason to care about the potential relationships. I did have a fairly decent joke/Always Sunny reference here, but I had to delete it as it will suit my review of Matt and Mara much more accurately.

If you took away the romance angle then it would improve the experience, but it would also mean the film would lose its hook, its gimmick, and would then have to advertise itself as “a mild-mannered man turns out to be a hitman”, which is kind of cliche at this point. That’s another aspect I felt was underdeveloped; we are constantly told how Marvin was a vicious hitman, dangerous and incredibly sadistic. But we never really see it. We get flashbacks of the aftermath, but we don’t get moments of the past version of him torturing and harming people; so it’s hard to buy him as a reformed hitman, because we only see him on the defensive. He doesn’t even kill the people hunting him, in fact it seems like he’s doing his best to make sure they don’t die. I know “he’s reformed and now a nice guy”, but if someone is trying to decapitate you, I think you’re morally allowed to kick them in the head until their brain resembles blueberry pie.

The lack of deaths leads to my other problem; the lack of consequences. Characters get tased in public (with witnesses), their are fights in offices (which at the very least, the cleaners would notice when they come in the next day), and his boss gets murdered. None of those moments matter. The police don’t seem to be ienterested in this random uptick in violence, there’s no news report about someone being found dead with a straw in his eye, none of the action scenes have any consequence, they’re just levels in a video game the main character has to get through.

Now onto the good, the performances are all good. And there are moments where the fight scene works. It’s also sweet at times (but never enough to keep momentum). And I do appreciate that is at least TRYING something different. There are also some very funny moments.

In summary, a mediocre film that’s about 2 rewrites away from being a 10/10.

Companion (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A weekend getaway turns bloody and violent when a subservient android that’s built for human companionship goes haywire.

First Scream (the “new” one, not the original), now Companion. Why do female partners of Jack Quaid keep getting set on fire in horror movies? Amber Midthunder should be relieved that Novocaine will be an action movie instead of a horror (a movie I’m genuinely looking forward to by the way). On the subject of Quaid, why hasn’t anybody cast him as the son of Joshua Jackson in anything? He looks more like him than he does his own dad. Anyway, enough dilly-dallying, on with the actual review.

Companion is god damn delight. More of a thriller than it is a traditional horror movie. That doesn’t underplay the deaths by the way, when characters do die, it’s horrific. Some of the deaths are incredibly cathartic too, it’s good to see bad things happen to bad people. A lot of horror movie writers know this, but make the mistake of writing every character to be an insufferable dickbag (were there any tears for any of the characters in Unfriended outside of tears that it took so long?). In those cases, while you get catharsis, you’re also spending all your time with characters you don’t like, so it’s not an enjoyable experience. While most of the characters in Companion are unlikeable, it’s in a very human way and they’re still entertaining to watch. A lot of is due to the performances; there’s something inherently likeable about Jack Quaid even when he is being an incel douch, Harvey Guillen is too adorable for words, and Megan Suri? There’s something about her performance that is intoxicating to see, she has tremendous presence and feels like she’s destined for leading roles. It’s hard to explain why without giving away spoilers, but Lukas Cage pulls off a fascinating performance.

The story? It’s interesting. Yes, it can be argued that the trailer gives away too much, but Companion still has enough tricks up its sleeves to entertain you. You go in knowing what is happening, but the “why” is just as interesting to see play out. I like that Companion is unashamedly feminist AF, taking multiple shots at male entitlement and inadequacy. I’ve seen some defenders of the character in this, saying “he’s just lonely, why is that seen as a bad thing to want someone?” which would be a fair point, loneliness is a huge issue and one that does need a solution. But it’s very telling that when he’s asked to create his “perfect” partner, he tones down her intelligence significantly. He doesn’t want an equal partner, the robot is not to provide love or to share experiences with; it’s to fuck and to have it fawn over him.

There is a feeling that it is holding back at times. She increases her intelligence, but it doesn’t change that much of the plot (although it may be why she decides to switch language at one point in a scene which is, well it’s genius). There are other moments like that; where it comes up with a cool idea but then doesn’t do the most with it.

Those are very minor nitpicks though. Companion is among the best films I’ve seen in a while. It’s slick, stylish without being overly so, violent without being cruel, and it invites discussion and conversation. It’s smart without being pretentious, modern without risking being dated quickly, and digestible without being dumb. I want more horror movies like this. I also want to see Sophie Thatcher in more stuff, as she seems cool. On an equal level with Anya Taylor-Joy for expressive eyes perfect for horror movies. I caught a preview of this a few days before it came out, and I already know I’m going to buy it when it comes out on blu-ray.

Saturday Night (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: The world is not ready for the debut episode of Saturday Night Live, but then again, neither are the cast.

I need to start with what will be the core premise of this review: Saturday Night Live is a huge deal, despite fluctuations in quality over the years (and people who say the modern series are the worst have obviously never watched season 6), it’s still a big deal culturally and commercially.

In America. Outside? It only really gets mentioned when a guest is particularly noteworthy or controversial, and even then it never breaks through the cultural barrier past “people who are already aware of American pop culture”. The only time I have seen it mentioned lately my main thoughts aren’t “That’s funny”, it’s “FFS can someone tell these performers to keep a straight face for five minutes?” Americans reading this may feel a bit smug, thinking “knowledge of culture isn’t needed to see a film, just go see it”, and then refuse to watch the Robbie Williams monkey film because they don’t know who he is.

I have seen the first season of SNL, so I’m aware of who most of the characters in this are. That’s a good thing, as Saturday Night assumes you know them, and makes almost no effort to let you know who everybody is. Saturday Night is made for people who already know about the making of the show, and want to see it onscreen. There’s nothing to bring in the casuals. It never escapes the shadow of reality or does much to escape the incredibly specific fan service. The fan service is an issue because it creates a weirdness. We see things happen, like wondering what can happen when you mix Jim Belushi and a bee costume. That only works if you’re aware of what happened in the show, but if you’re aware of what happened, then you already know the first episode of SNL worked, so there’s no drama. At times it needs you to be unaware of reality, and at others, it depends on it for the jokes to work.

The performances are f*cking fantastic though. Cory Michael Smith as Chevy Chase is funnier than anything the real Chevy Chase has done in years (with the exception of the time that bitter old fuck fell over). Dylan O’Brien is surprisingly unrecognisable as Dan Aykroyd, disappearing completely into the role. I wish Emily Fairn (Laraine Newman) and Ella Hunt (Gilda Radnor) were given more to do as they seem pretty good in those roles (and I hella miss Gilda Radnor and love to see more of her, even if it is just a representation of her). In terms of “most like the performer they’re portraying”, Lamorne Morris as Garrett Morris is probably the best.

Saturday Night does contain some very funny moments. I particularly liked it when the writers clashed with Joan Carbunkle, who demanded they censor some of their more risque moments. The profane reaction to her demands are damn hilarious, and I want more of that. It’s one of the few times the movie stands still and lets you observe what’s happening, rather than quickly whipping around to the next historical moment.

I’d have absolutely loved it if this was a TV show instead, where we were given more time to know the characters, where the three-act structure of each episode was based around things we didn’t know, rather than the only thing we did.

Reitman has pulled off a FANTASTIC job of recreating NBC in the mid 70’s, but what he’s not done is given a reason to care about it. We’re not an audience, we’re voyeurs being taken for a ride through a world we’re not given a grounding in. It did make me watch SNL again, so yay that I guess?