How We Got Through…September

A Drink Before The War

Pretty good read. Not something I would exactly call “fun”. Harsh, brutal, but extremely well written. A prequel (kind of) to Gone Baby Gone, which I really need to read some time.

Grabbers

The concept is better than the execution. Is about a place being attacked by aliens, but they’re poisoned by alcohol, so everyone tries to get drunk to stay safe. Great concept, but it didn’t really work for me. Think it’s because it didn’t really make use of the concept until more than half way through. A film like this is ALL about the concept, so you need to launch into it quickly, ideally, at the end of the first act, this doesn’t really do it until the last act.

Gremlins

Been a while since I’d seen this so had forgotten a lot about it. I remembered it being quite violent, I remembered gizmo being adorable, and, of course, I remembered the greatest scene in cinema history. But I had forgotten one thing; how superb the theme is. Seriously, listen to it, how is that never brought up when people talk about great movie themes?

Gremlins 2

Deliciously fun; starts with Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, has Christopher Lee in it, and features a scene where Gremlins sing Frank Sinatra. Almost like a parody of the first film.

 

Logan Lucky

It goes nowhere, and is overly American to the point where it almost seems sarcastic, basically, it’s the film equivalent of NASCAR. I fucking hate NASCAR.

Man Up

First time I saw this I went into it with low expectations, I expected an okay but not great romcom, something very predictable and formulaic. Kudos to the script then for making it very very good. I have an unwritten rule for how you can judge a great script mixed with a great performance. So much so it’s easy to imagine that the lead actor wrote it, that’s how on-point Lake Bells performance is (she didn’t, Tess Morris did, but still). A great date movie for people who hate date movies.

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Patti Cake$

A lot better than I thought it would be. Has both a great and not great soundtrack. I mean, the songs are fantastic, but the music/story integration could be done better. You don’t really get the feeling that the film is influencing the music, or the other way round, they seem kind of independent from each other. Oddly enough, I think this is the only film I’ve seen this year which has had absolutely nobody in it who I know from another film.

Rough Night

A lot different than I expected. I think it’s R-Rated, and if so it really earns it. Wonderfully filthy and funny. Kate McKinnon’s Australian accent slips more than a pensioner walking on ice.

Super

Incredibly violent, kind of like a more realistic Kick Ass, showing how someone who wants to do that kind of thing obviously has some issues. Pretty good soundtrack too.

Superman: Doomsday

Did more with Doomsday in 20 minutes than was managed in the entirety of Batman Vs. Superman. Really looking forward to watching the rest of the DC animated universe, so far seems enjoyable and quite intense. I thought that it was a mistake killing Superman so early into the DC cinematic universe, but then I saw them do it here and realised the problem was just the film was very badly written. This one however is great, highly recommend watching this.

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I absolutely love this line.

The Best Of You

Unpopular opinion; I’m not a big fan of Foo Fighters. They’re one of those bands who I think could put together one really good album of their stuff, but otherwise their career has too many songs which are basically filler. This is one of them.

The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Not going to change anybody’s life, but very funny. Selma Hayek swears too much though, it’s like just her swearing was supposed to be a joke. I think you have to be careful with swearing in films, if you do it too much it just comes off incredibly juvenile.

The Limehouse Golem

Very British, very smartly made, and a great twist ending. Sadly whilst it is very well made, it’s not very memorable.

What We Do In The Shadows

Without a doubt the best vampire mockumentary from New Zealand that I’ve seen in a long time. Perfect film to put on whilst just need a laugh distraction from the relentless crushing existence that we call life in 2017.

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Musings On Marvel: Day 10 (Guardians Of The Galaxy)

Director: James Gunn (Slither, Super)

Budget: $232million

Box Office: $773million

  • Did kids listen to this music back then? I mean, I did, but I was weird.
  • Hah, “was”
  • Plus, is a song which includes the repeated refrain “big boys don’t cry” a good song to listen to in the circumstances?
  • Can’t anyone become a superhero without their parents dying nowdays? That’s the rouble with the world today, kids lack motivation.
  • I’m curious as to what happened in those 26 years. Ok, it’s not as big an issue as it was in Fantastic 4 (or to give it it’s proper, stupid title: Fant4stic)
  • How have the batteries lasted that long?
  • Or the walkman?
  • Or the tape itself?
  • I mean, I went through about 5 cd players in my youth, and I very rarely went to space.
  • The main hero kicks a tiny animal in the face. But it’s okay because they’re not earth-based. Which is a bit weird as when he was a kid he started fights with people purely because they hurt frogs. And now here’s him, as an adult, gleefully punting animals like rugby balls.
  • “bereet”, is that because she looks like a beet?
  • “your culture is a disease” that’s racist.
  • Groot lost his arms. That’s an arm chopped off in every one of the stage 2 films. Seriously, why do Marvel hate limbs?
  • “I live for the simple things, like how much this is going to hurt” That’s exactly what I was told last time I had sex.
  • “I’m going to slather you in jelly” that sounds sexual.
  • “this one here is our booty” still sounds sexual.
  • So he wants to protect her despite her causing massive physical harm to him and being responsible for him getting arrested. Why? I theorise it’s entirely because he wants the booty.
  • “Your words mean nothing to me” oooooooo, vienna. 
  • “I could care less whether you live or die”. Ok, let’s get one thing straight America, that phrase makes zero sense. “I could care less” literally means “there is a situation in which I could care less, therefore I do care a little bit”. The phrase should be (and is, in every other country in the world) “couldn’t care less”. Because it implies you don’t care at all so there is no way you could care even less. The way you say it implies that despite the fact you don’t care much, you still care a little bit. “I could care less” basically says “I care a little bit”, which defeats your purpose.
  • I bet he never uses that “snap a neck from a distance” on any of the heroes.
  • “your demeanour is that of a child” yeah, and you’re wearing make-up like a teenage emo kid. You shouldn’t be killing people, you should be writing poetry on your blog about how girls ignore you.
  • “all fire on my command” why not start with that?
  • Those headphones blocked out a prison riot? My headphones get drowned out by cars driving past me.
  • Not even that, but surely he should have seen something on the video screens?
  • Okay his face is covered, but his hands aren’t, flying through space with uncovered hands would surely cause problems.
  • He got abducted as a kid, how many kids know of Jackson Pollock?
  • Surely he’s been threatened before? He collects artefacts so must have people attempt to rob him all the time, you’d think he’d have a defence set up.
  • Bowie song! And now I’m sad. Seriously, what is going on this year? I found a facebook status a few years old about how bad it was that three celebrities had died that year already. That seems like a blessing compared to this year. Prince, Lemmy, Bowie, Rickman, Wood, the PG tips monkey.
  • “I will not succumb to your pelvic sorcery” That’s pretty much exactly what my girlfriend said to me the first time we met.
  • Holy shit Bradley Cooper gives a REALLY good vocal performance here.
  • And with that he tells an entire bar full of outlaws how much money you’re about to come into.
  • Hey it’s a tesseract.
  • “it’s not a purse, it’s a knapsack” no, it’s a satchel. Indiana Jones has one.
  • I haven’t seen Star Wars but I imagine it’s basically this.
  • “normal people don’t even think about eating people” Oh, I guess I’m not normal then.
  • Where did they get those matching red suits from? Did they stop at Matalan before continuing with their quest?
  • “I think of them as paper people” Now, he doesn’t understand metaphors, so does that mean he literally thinks they’re people made of paper?
  • “I don’t think anyone is 100 percent a dick” you’ve never met Katie Hopkins then.
  • “We’re just like Kevin Bacon” doing awful adverts for EE?
  • Wait, wasn’t the city evacuated? Where are all these people coming from?
  • The two sisters are attacking each other with swords. I HATE these kind of fights. The ones where it cuts away before each impact. One on one fight scenes should cut as little as possible so the fight flows in one continuous motion. That way it looks like an actual fight, instead of a movie scene.
  • She chops off her own hand. Seriously, marvel hates limbs.
  • So he’s still using that stone just to throw people backwards instead of killing them?
  • “your guardians of the galaxy” Hey, that’s the title of the movie!
  • “what are you doing?” does it matter? Just kill him. Are people really distracted by singing and dancing? They’re not, trust me I tried.
  • “it’s probably good we didn’t deliver him to his dad like we were hired to do” The worst dialogue in this entire movie. It’s like the script writer didn’t know how to deliver that information so just turned one of the final scenes into an exposition heavy nothing piece.
  • “Ronan was only a puppet” No! That’s a metaphor! And that’s not what he’s meta-for. By which I mean, that line doesn’t make sense in the universe that they’ve created.
  • Howard the f*cking duck.