The Uprising (2026) Review

Quick Synopsis: A cinematic retelling of the 1381 Peasant’s Revolt

Sometimes studio executives know what they’re doing. The suggestion that Kevin Smith keep Dante alive at the end of Clerks allowed him to bring the character back throughout his subsequent films, while avoiding the rather bleak shadow that his death would have cast over everything that followed. So why is “studio interference” shorthand for “fucking everything up”? Probably because there’s a long history of decisions along the lines of “we need you to improve on the first film, but with a much lower budget and less time. If you fail, it’s your fault.” Or they market things weirdly. The Uprising was marketed in the US as The Uprising: The Rise of Robin Hood. The ramifications of this decision are incredible. Not only was this apparently decided despite The Death of Robin Hood being released first, but whoever thought Robin Hood films were still a reliable source of box-office gold has inadvertently proved that time travel exists. Because this guy (and it was definitely a guy) clearly travelled here from the 1990s, when those films were still commercially successful.

Any attempt to tie this movie into Robin Hood mythology doesn’t improve it. If anything, it makes it worse. The world doesn’t need another Robin Hood movie. Do you know what it does need? A movie about the Peasants’ Revolt. That’s something different, and it’s relevant to modern times. Unfortunately, the way this film handles that relevance is decidedly strange.

Our protagonist is a ploughman, armed with a sickle. The revolutionaries are poor workers being exploited by rulers whose financial decisions have made their lives increasingly miserable. It’s a story about the power of organised political violence. So why does the film feel slightly right-wing at times? The talk of unelected elites preventing the ruler from doing his job sounds suspiciously like the argument that civil servants were stopping the government from delivering Brexit. And then there’s the suggestion that foreigners are ruining the country. Well, it’s pretty obvious where that one leads.

There’s another thing about this movie that makes me uncomfortable: the action scenes. The Uprising was directed by Paul Greengrass, best known for the Bourne movies. My problem isn’t necessarily with those films themselves, but with what they inspired: the endless shaky cameras and rapid editing that have become staples of modern action cinema. I’ve never been particularly fond of the technique, and it feels especially ill-suited to a film like this.

Because when The Uprising actually lets us see the violence, it can be genuinely shocking. In a good way. This isn’t violence you’re supposed to cheer for. You don’t revel in the blood and gore; you’re supposed to feel slightly sickened by it. So many moments here deliver what the sack of Troy in The Odyssey should have: something vile, disgusting, and deeply uncomfortable.

On the subject of visuals: it would be easy for The Uprising to look like shit. A film set in the 1300s doesn’t exactly lend itself to bright colours and well-lit interiors, and the modern trend of making everything look dark as hell hardly helps. It wouldn’t have been surprising if the result were a film where you could barely see what was happening. So it’s a pleasant surprise that the visuals are generally clear, making it incredibly easy to see what’s going on. The exception, of course, is the action scenes, where the shaky-cam style makes everything unnecessarily difficult to follow.

How about the performances? They’re all fine. This is nobody’s best work, but nobody should be ashamed either. It’s always great to see Katherine Waterston in things, and it’s nice to see Tom Hollander on the big screen. The problem is that the performances are let down by the characters themselves. It’s not that they’re necessarily underwritten; it’s that there’s very little to differentiate them. Beyond “angry”, there’s not much to them. We understand why they’re fighting, and we care about them collectively, but when an individual dies, the loss rarely feels significant because the film has given us plenty of other characters who could take their place.

This is particularly noticeable when Wat Tyler is executed. No, I’m not marking this as a spoiler for a real-life event that happened like 900 years ago. Anyway, his execution is supposed to be a game-changer, and the scene itself is violent and horrific. But among the surviving rebels, there’s no real sense of “oh, we’re fucked without our leader”. Part of the problem is that, while Wat is the central figure of the rebellion, he’s not the central character of the film. Anyone who knows their history understands his importance, but someone coming to this story fresh is more likely to see him as an assistant who helps The Ploughman. The film never really establishes him as the leader, so when he’s executed, the moment falls flat.

This is a shame, because the Peasants’ Revolt is a genuinely interesting subject for a film. There’s something inherently cinematic about ordinary people deciding that enough is enough, taking up arms against those who’ve spent their lives telling them what to do, and discovering that overthrowing a system is considerably easier than figuring out what comes next. A rebellion can win its immediate battle and still leave its participants with the question of what, exactly, they’ve won. You don’t need to invent a legendary outlaw to make that story interesting. The real people involved were interesting enough already.

But there’s one problem with making that film: the revolt ends in defeat. That’s not exactly the triumphant conclusion mainstream audiences tend to expect from a story about ordinary people rising up against their oppressors. So you’d need some creative “and although the rebellion failed, its legacy inspired yada yada blah blah” nonsense to send everyone home feeling good about themselves.

The problem is that I’m not entirely sure what this film wants to be. It wants to be a gritty historical drama about class warfare, a visceral action movie, and (in America) a Robin Hood origin story, all at once. None of those things are inherently incompatible, but they require a degree of focus that the film struggles to maintain. Whenever it starts exploring something genuinely interesting about the political circumstances of the revolt, it seems to remember that there’s an action sequence waiting around the corner. And whenever the violence makes you appreciate the sheer brutality of the period, the film risks reducing that brutality to just another spectacle.

There’s also the question of what exactly we’re supposed to take away from all this. I’m not expecting a historical drama to provide a comprehensive political education, but if you’re going to make a film about exploited workers rising up against the ruling class, perhaps you should have something more interesting to say about the relationship between those two groups than simply pointing out that the former are angry and the latter are bastards. That becomes particularly awkward when some of the film’s political rhetoric seems to undermine the very people it’s supposedly asking us to support.

Ultimately, The Uprising is a frustrating film because there’s a genuinely good movie somewhere inside it. The subject matter is fascinating, the violence occasionally achieves exactly the sort of horrifying impact that historical action films should be aiming for, and the film itself is surprisingly watchable given the setting and subject matter. But it never quite brings those elements together into a coherent whole. It has all the ingredients for a compelling story about class, power, and resistance, but somehow never quite manages to make a meal of them.

I don’t think The Uprising is a disaster. It’s too well made and has too many moments of genuine effectiveness to deserve that description. But it’s also difficult to escape the feeling that the people involved have taken an extraordinary historical event and made something considerably less interesting than the real thing.

The Peasants’ Revolt was a challenge to the established order, a moment when people who were supposed to know their place decided that perhaps their place was somewhere else entirely. That’s a story worth telling. Focus on the brutality, not on turning it into an action spectacle. Give the political circumstances more attention. Even a more thorough examination of the causes would help.

The fact that the revolt was partly triggered by a poll tax is never really highlighted. The film could have drawn a fascinating parallel with Margaret Thatcher’s Community Charge, introduced in 1989 in Scotland and 1990 in England and Wales, whose unpopularity and the protests against it helped bring down her government. THAT’S how you end a movie: by pointing out the circular nature of history, how those in power refuse to learn from it, and how they’re doomed to repeat their mistakes. That would be a much stronger ending than “and the hero let the villain live”.

Madame Web (2024) Review

Quick synopsis: Cassandra Webb is a New York City paramedic who starts to show signs of plot convenient-clairvoyance.

I was supposed to watch this a week earlier, but I was unable to go down to the cinema due to a random bout of sickness. Now I’ve not only recovered from illness but have managed to catch this at the cinema I can finally say…

I miss the days when I was ill.

Going to start by saying this; Madame Web is not as bad as Morbius. Morbius had absolutely nothing going for it. MW at least has one GORGEOUS shot, sets something up for the future (which now probably won’t happen), and ends with a Cranberries song. I mean, the rest of the film is dogshit though.

I actually went into this knowing it would be terrible. I don’t think that affected my viewpoint though. I mean, I went into Ghostbusters: Afterlife having only seen negative reviews, and that won me over. Conversely, I went into Wolf expecting it to be great and that………was not. It wasn’t just the early reviews that caused me to think this, it was the trailer too. The trailer said absolutely nothing about who this character is, or why we should bother paying for a ticket to see her movie.

I don’t get how Sony decided that THIS was the movie they wanted to release. They picked the screenwriters of Morbius FFS. How does that make sense? “Hey, these two people wrote one of the worst movies of all time, let’s hire them again”. The plot is DUMB, the dialogue is some of the worst I’ve ever seen, and the characters are badly written. It feels like it was written by AI; nobody speaks or behaves like an actual human. Nothing really has consequences. Cassie is thought to have kidnapped the children, so she has to hide out with the teens to avoid suspicion. All standard so far. But there’s not really a reason for people to believe that. There were witnesses to the police being attacked by the villain, and all it would have taken was one of the multiple police officers on the scene to radio in “It’s a man in a Spider costume”. At least one person would have seen the villain get off the moving train too. They also would have seen him pace down the train whilst angrily staring at the teens. The kidnapping (which happens during working hours), is later reported in that day’s newspapers. You know, newspapers are famous for 3pm printings and distributions, everybody loves picking up a newspaper on the way home from work instead of in the morning. That’s such an easy problem to fix too, just show it on a TV screen. It only seems to be done via newspaper so the film can get a daily bugle reference in.

Usually when I’m writing a script I go through one draft where I delete the names and see if I can figure out who is who just by character actions and dialogue. You could not do that with MW. Characters change personalities from scene to scene, going from nervous and bookish, scared of drawing attention to themselves, to dancing on the table in a diner (completely sober).

The song that woman is dancing to? Toxic by Britney Spears. A song which wasn’t released until January 2004, in a film set in 2003. Why is it set in 2003? No idea. I’ve heard rumours it’s so they could tie it into the Andrew Garfield films, then the Tom Holland ones, then realised none of those timelines work. I’m not entirely sure I would believe that, but it would back up the absolute clusterfuck that is this movie. It being set in 2003 adds nothing. I suppose you could argue it means that you can use Uncle Ben as a living character. I mean, him being Uncle Ben adds NOTHING, if anything it makes Spider-Man a worse character, as it means he likely based himself on the supervillain from this film. All the 2003 setting adds is weirdness, especially in terms of music. It’s not just “that song wasn’t out yet”, it sometimes goes too far the other way, using too many songs from the 80s and 90s. I don’t think many radio stations in 2003 would play the 1987 Tiffany song I Think We’re Alone Now early in the morning. It doesn’t feel very 2003, and unlike the Spider-Verse soundtrack, it doesn’t feel very New York. Except for a Yeah Yeah Yeahs song near the start, it’s the most generic soundtrack outside of royalty-free music. That’s not the most offensive part of the audio though; it feels like a lot of Tahar Rahim’s dialogue was rerecorded in post-production. Sometimes it’s not as noticeable, his mouth being obscured, but then there are some times when the dialogue doesn’t match his mouth movements at all. That’s not just bad, that’s a failing grade at film school.

MW doesn’t even have the decency to look good, it overdoes the swoopy 180 shot. Some of the action scenes are incomprehensible in terms of staging and choreography. That being said, there is one PERFECT shot; a car quickly drives away, turning as it does so. The shot is a standard “snow gets kicked up into the air by a speeding tyre”, but with broken glass. It looks absolutely stunning and may be one of my favourite shots of the year. But other than that? It’s like a glass of cloudy lemonade left for four days; it’s murky, it’s flat, and it’s ugly.

So that’s established that the script is shit, the directing is shit, and the sound is shit, what of the performances? Sydney Sweeney, Isabella Merced and Celeste O’Connor are good and I would like to see a full-length Spider-Women movie featuring them (just with a different director and screenwriter). That’s actually my main takeaway from this; it was a trailer for a film that will now never be mad. I don’t know how much Emma Roberts was paid but considering her level of stardom it was undoubtedly too much for how little she’s in it. Adam Scott is fun, but again, isn’t in it enough to really be memorable. So, no issues with casting there.

Dakota Johnson is fucking terrible though.

Films Worth Seeing from 2015: The Serious ones

Dramas(ish)

Inside Out

Inside_Out_(2015_film)_poster

Yeah I’m putting this in the drama section; go fuck yourselves if you disagree. For every laugh out loud moment, which there are a few; Pixar’s latest masterpiece is littered with heartfelt and moving moments that will warm the cockles of your aging bitter heart and will make you cry. The idea behind it is amazing and while the plot it follows isn’t anything new, it’s execution is near flawless. I knew from the opening melody of the main theme Bundle of Joy (my pick for best original score of the year), that this film was going to be exactly what everyone wanted from a Pixar film, and it was.

Steve Jobs

steve-jobs-posterProbably the most intense and thrilling film of the year, and not one shot is fired and not one car is chased, it never goes beyond people just talking (and screaming). Set in three real-time acts spread across the 1970s-1990s, this film gets to the heart of Steve Jobs the man/the character (he was quite a dick it turns out), and the heart of what it means to be innovative and push the boundary of what technology can be for people. Thrilling, heartstopping, emotional, and surprisingly beautiful to look at, Steve Jobs is a breath of fresh airconditioned air for the Biopic genre…and the fact it made less that jObs is just depressing.

 

Youth

Youth_poster_goldposter_com_1

Another funny but heartfelt film that is a meditation on fame, but even more so is about aging, love, and parenting. Directed by Italian autor Paolo Sorrentino, it’s led by a best in decades Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel, as two friends at a Swiss retreat in the Alps trying to keep their lives going. Now this is a bit of a tricky film to talk about, as its light on plot and heavy on strange things happening and characters reacting to them. So just trust me that Youth is a beautiful film and the kind of bold artistic statement that makes you glad that the studio process still lets creatives work their magic on us.

Spotlight

20104185723_0ca6c3e963_o

An in-depth investigative drama that follows the journalist team who uncovered the Child abuse coverups by the Catholic Church in the early 2000s; and it will piss you off for all the right reasons. I’m a sucker for a good investigation film, like Zodiac or All The Presidents Men, and this was no different. Though I don’t think it’s up there with Zodiac, this is still a very well written and compelling drama/thriller that step by step will take you through the disturbing looking glass. Led by a stellar cast of Michael Keaton, Mark Ruffalo, Rachel McAdams and more, this film is a masterclass of restrained filmmaking and acting. With a topic as hot as this, Spotlight could have easily become an over-dramatic spotlight-S_070416_rgblifetime mess, but director Tom McCarthy made the wise choice of keeping everything restrained, realistic, and beautifully drab (never has a cast of A-listers looked so normal), all so the facts can speak for themselves, and they scream.

 

The End of the tour

film-sundance-end-of-the-tour-first-look-2b1b02c3b573cbe3Already talked about this in our 2015 Film Awards, where it was one of the films awarded with best picture, but I’ll talk briefly about it here. It’s a funny and heartfelt road movie that meditates on fame, creativity, and loneliness, through the indepth and witty conversations of its protagonists. Whether you know David Foster Wallace’s work or not, this is an accessible and great film.

Wild

WILD_movie_posterFollow a mesmerizing Reese Witherspoon on a thousand mile hike as she flashes back to the different traumatizing points in her life that led her to the hike. It’s a compelling character film of the purist nature, and with a combination of a great soundtrack, editing, and sound-editing, is the best film I have ever seen capture the feeling of fleeting thought.
But this is a bit of a divisive film it appears, depending completely on whether you like the main character, as she is not really a good person; and not in the love to hate them way, but in a realistic way. I did like her, or at least I was engaged by her, while my fellow Troubled Production’s producer did not, leading to me putting this as one of the best films of 2015, while he put it as one of his worst. (See his personal blog here).

99 Homes

99-Homes-new-poster

Michael Shannon is on terrifying form as a realtor looking to make money during the housing crises of 2010, and Andrew Garfield finally acts his age to heart-breaking effect, as a single father kicked-out of his home by Shannon, and taken under the corrupt realtor’s wing. Another film that finds it’s intensity in its emotions; this film grabs you by the throat and keeps you electrified as you watch a normal man grapple for his morality and his fall to ‘the darkside’ as it’s the only way to provide for his family.

 

 

Brooklyn

file_610952_brooklyn-poster-640x951The second Nick Hornby script on this list (the first was Wild), and it just shows you the versatility of his writing. In 1950’s an Irish immigrant moves to Brooklyn (go figure) where she finds love, life, and a future, but then finds herself torn between the life she wants in America and the life everyone else wants for her back in Ireland. Much more a classic Hollywood romance (in all the right ways) and less the love triangle bollocks the trailers made it look to be, this is really a beautiful film about striving to achieve your own happiness, and who you’re willing to hurt to keep it.