Tag: Superman

2025 Film Awards: Day Four

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Best Opening

Dangerous Animals

Two tourists go on a boat so they can swim with sharks. They’re then killed, with a knife. Wonderful way to subvert expectations. Up until the murder, it feels like a romantic comedy. It’s so sudden, blink and you’ll miss it.

Opus

Sets up how important the musician is. I like it. It didn’t just TELL us he’s a big deal, it showed us; his music, his talk show performances, his fans. It all feels real.

The Last Showgirl

The character performs an audition. Very nervous, and obviously lying about her age. Anderson is best known for essentially being Ms. Fanservice in the 90’s. So to see her so emotionally naked and visually honest in the opening scene? Shows you what it’s going to be.

The Woman In The Yard

Ramona watches a video of her deceased husband. It’s weird she filmed that moment, but it’s very sweet, and sets up SOOO much very quickly. Sets up what their relationship was like, sets up that they’re having problems fixing problems in the home, even the way she’s watching it sets up that he’s dead. Genius.

Winner

Final Destination: Bloodlines

The disasters have always been a highlight of these movies, and Bloodline is no exception. Some truly all-time great kills, with the funniest death of a child you’ll see. The childs death made you realise that nobody was safe in these movies; death will come for anybody, regardless of age. Subverts expectations slightly, with it being a vision from a descendant rather than the actual person. It’s been years since a Final Destination movie, and scenes like this make you curse that time.

Worst Opening

A Minecraft Movie

Steve wants to mine but can’t as is a child, he comes back as an adult. Overly long, plus I feel it would have made more sense if he first arrived in the other dimension as a child, would have explained how he became so good at building.

Black Phone 2

A young girl makes a phone call. Doesn’t really look like the rest of the film. Does come back later and tie into the narrative, which is a plus. But isn’t something that will hook people in. Plus, the central performance isn’t great.

Fantastic Four: First Steps

Sue and Reed at home being domestic. I have very specific issues with this opening, the big one being that it’s kind of mundane and dull, especially when there’s a REALLY good introductory scene afterwards of a talk show host explaining the characters background. That would have been a much better opener.

Lilo And Stitch

Stitch is being investigated. Not how I would have opened it. Mainly because it seems weird to open a live-action adaptation of an animated movie with a scene that’s mostly CGI. Feels like you’d want to showcase the filming locations.

Renner

I know it’s a common joke to make that the vanity cards that open up films are so long they seem like an actual movie, but the opening credits for this legit seem like a vanity card.

Winner

The Accountant 2

A character dies, and it’s one of the blandest deaths you’ll ever see. It feels like it belongs in a lesser movie.

Best Moment

A Real Pain – Pictures At A Statue

The group posing for pictures with a statue. It shows everything that works. The character interactions, the warmth, and the sadness. You can show that scene and instantly know the characters.

Companion – Lying To The Police

Her encounter with the cop. She can’t lie, but she can change her language to non-English so the cop can’t understand her. Genius.

Eternity – Enter The Archives

The first trip into the archives is very sweet. This is one of best demonstrations of love.

Final Destination: Bloodline – Tony Todds Goodbye

This broke me. The subtext is obvious, but so beautiful. Any other year, this would have won.

I Swear – Fucks In A Car

Not fornication, just swearing. Lots of swearing. You wouldn’t think two people swearing would be so sweet, yet it is.

September 5th – Whoops, We Were Wrong

I wasn’t that familiar with the events of the movie. So I was genuinely blindsided by the reveal that their sources were wrong, the hostages haven’t been saved, they’ve been killed. This will catch people out, and it will horrify you, as it should.

The Ugly Stepsister – Makeover

Weird choice, as I didn’t even have this as best moment in the end-of-year roundups for some reason. Probably because I wrote that section just after seeing the movie, whereas this is new, so I’ve had time. With time, a certain moment has stood out; when Elvira is forced to go through a makeover. Not a “haircut and makeup” makeover, full on mutilation. There’s one moment in particular that stands out: chisel to the nose. It’s simple, not overly bloody, but it makes me wince whenever I think about it.

Urchin – Karaoke Bar

Three people singing an Atomic Kitten song should be skippable. But it’s incredibly sweet, and the way the three characters do it tells you so much about who they are. It’s the only part of the movie that has genuine emotion.

Winner

Sinners – Music Montage

Sammie plays in the bar, and we see it conjuring spirits of the past and future. It’s a good thing nobody was close to me at the cinema, otherwise they would have heard me say, “That? That’s fucking cinema”.

Worst Moment

Fear Street: Prom Queen – Dance Off

It feels so out-of-character for the people involved. It baffles me that this was left in there.

Good Fortune – Arj Gets Fired

He deserved to get fired. He stole from his employer. He has no justification for being annoyed. Which makes him kind of unsympathetic, and hurts the message of the movie.

Heart Eyes – Killer Reveal

Films like this have to nail the killer reveal. Part of my dislike for the sixth Scream movie is down to how much I hated that reveal. It’s similar here. It feels lazy. I get what they were going for; but the rest of the film is too genuine to do something so subversive this late in the game.

Kinda Pregnant – Threesome/proposal confusion

It feels incredibly fake. It would be like if you invited someone to your house on their birthday and all their friends were there, along with a birthday cake and a sign saying “Happy birthday”, but it wasn’t for their birthday, and you get annoyed at them for daring to think you were planning a birthday for them.

M3gan 2.0 – Villain Reveal

I called it within seconds of the character being introduced. I guessed not only that they would be the villain, but also their motivations.

Renner – Attack The Thieves

Purely because the way its shot (quick flashes whilst he’s asking what to do) makes it come off as a fantasy sequence rather than reality. The visually unclear storytelling happens a few times, but its most clear then.

The Bad Guys 2 – Wrestling Match

It’s weird how this film can open with a heist/chase that makes such great use of space and logistics, and then forgets that they’ve shown us how big the wrestling ring is, and you can’t run for more than a second without hitting the ropes.

Thunderbolts – Kid “Death”

Mainly because it reveals that the people shadowed away to oblivion weren’t actually dead, there’s no way Disney/Marvel would kill a young child in that manner.

Winner

Until Dawn – Explosions In The Bathroom

Don’t get me wrong, it was enjoyable, it was bloody, and it was entertaining. But it also demonstrated how luck-based the whole premise was. For a game based around “your decisions have consequences”, it’s annoying how the choices have no impact. “Don’t drink water or you’ll explode” is not a lesson. If the characters’ choices don’t matter, why should I give a shit?

Best Closing

Bring Her Back

Laura carries Cathy’s corpse into the pool and cradles it as the police arrive. The best way it could have ended. I did fear it was going to end with her winning.

Fear Street: Prom Queen

Someone gets bludgeoned with a trophy. Nicely thematic way to end their life, and I liked that they didn’t die immediately. They collapse, there’s not that much blood, but you can tell by the way they’re speaking that their brain is fucked.

Friendship

A hostage wig disaster. Nope, not giving you more information or context.

Novocaine

He visits Sherry in prison. Delightful surprise that there are consequences to actions. Always nice to see that in a movie like this.

Spinal Tap II: The End Continues

Stonehenge related disaster. And there’s some great stuff in the credits. It comes very quickly yet doesn’t feel unsatisfying. It helps that the jokes are very funny, plus the way the “disaster” happens makes sense and suits the narrative.

The Roses

The two reconcile. Awwwww. Then almost certainly die in a house explosion that we don’t see.

Wolf Man

He’s in pain and gets shot. Best way it could have ended, had actual emotion.

Winner

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery

Jud has reopened the church, the jewel being the hidden centrepiece. This franchise has a habit of NAILING the endings, and that continues here. It’s closer to the ending of the first film than the sequel, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s immensely satisfying.

Worst Closing

A Minecraft Movie

The ending song is not as good as the film thinks it is.

Avatar: Fire And Ash

The ending implies that Spider will play a bigger part in the next one. He sucks, so that does not bode well.

Final Destination: Bloodlines

Most of these movies end the same way: with the “survivors” about to die. As such, it’s getting a little hard to care about anybody in the franchise.

I Know What You Did Last Summer

One of the killers is still alive. This is revealed in casual dialogue. Far too casual. “wearing jeans to your wedding” casual. Tone-deaf. That’s without even going into the killer reveal, which is one of the weakest I’ve ever seen.

Opus

“haha you caught me but that was my plan all along”. I don’t know why, but for some reason this didn’t vibe with me. It just didn’t work or land the way it was intended.

Superman/Relay

Both of these suffer from the same unrealistic ending: rich people are punished for their misdeeds. That’s like if Casablanca ended with the characters becoming robots and assassinating Hitler.

The Monkey

A bus of cheerleaders die. Funny, but needless and a bit TOO stupid.

Until Dawn

A car pulls up to a snowy cabin. A clear reference to the game, I assume. It’s shot in such a way that it’s obvious it’s SOMETHING, so I can only assume it’s that. Incredibly unsubtle.

Winner

The Woman In The Yard

It cannot be overstated how much the final third absolutely torpedoes any goodwill the rest of the film provides. A visual and narrative mess which confuses deliberate confusion for scares, rapid cuts instead of tension, and a final shot “reveal” that doesn’t actually reveal anything going by online discourse which gives it two different meanings. It feels like the writer isn’t sure he’s going to get another shot at writing a horror film so crammed as many horror tropes and conventions as he could, regardless of whether it worked for the story he was trying to tell.

2025 Film Awards: Day Two

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Best Performance

Nominees

A Real Pain – Kieran Culkin

Truth is, everybody in this movie is superb, and it was incredibly difficult to choose between the two leads. Culkin JUST edges it. Eisenberg nearly clinched it with the scene in the restaurant, and if he had been given more chances, he would have won it. But Culkin’s consistency wins out. Throughout the entire runtime, he is a ball of depressed confidence. Someone who seems confident but is racked with self-doubt and who you can easily imagine committing suicide the second he leaves a room after telling a joke.

Bring Her Back – Sally Hawkins

Anybody who watched The Shape of Water knows how good Sally Hawkins is. But anybody who watched Godzilla: King of Monsters knows that she is sometimes wasted. That’s not the case here. I was not a fan of this movie, but even I could see how magnetic her performance was. Her face is so expressive that it’s essentially an emoji.

Companion – Sophie Thatcher

Androids/aliens that present as humans are always weird things for actors to play. They need to be human enough that people would believe them as human at first view, but have a weird otherness to them that you can buy that they’re not human. So when someone does it as well as Sophie Thatcher does, I believe that has to be commended.

Last Breath – Woody Harrelson

I’ve liked Woody in a lot of stuff I’ve seen: Money Train, Cheers, Zombieland, etc. But I’ve never seen one of his performances and thought “now THAT’S an actor”. Not that he’s ever been bad, but he’s never really been the most impressive performer. Which is why Last Breath surprised me so much. This was one hell of a performance. He plays the usual Woody character, but when shit gets serious, he impresses. He gives one hell of a performance, showing SO much emotion. It’s truly impressive, and I don’t know where he pulled it from, but I want to see more.

Mickey 17 – Robert Pattinson

He plays multiple versions of the character, but it’s the two that lead the film where he earns his acclaim. You can see a still image of him playing both characters, and know which one is which due to his body language. Both of them are so profoundly different that it really allows Pattinson to show what he can do.

Winners

Sinners – Michael B. Jordan

Anybody who watched the Creed movies knows just how good he is. But I believe Sinners is the movie where it becomes undeniable. His dual role shows just how good he is. Similar to the Pattinson example: you can see a still image and know which one he is due to body language. In 2019, I adjusted the way I list awards; instead of having “best actress” and “best actor”, I’ve had “best performer”. Here are the winners since then:

Cailee Spaeny (Civil War/Alien: Romulus)
Stephanie Hsu (Everything, Everywhere, All At Once)
Lily Gladstone (Killers Of A Flower Moon)
Julia Sarah Stone (Come True)
Elisabeth Moss (The Invisible Man)
Lupita Nyong’o (Us).

A wide variety of performers and performances, but they all share one thing in common: they’re all women. Officially, Michael B. Jordan is the first person to win a gender neutral acting award on this website. Is it as big a boost to his career as an Academy Award nomination? Only time will tell. (spoilers; it will definitely not)

Best Character

Nominees

A Real Pain – Benji

Again, it was difficult to choose between the two leads. It could genuinely be any of them. In the end, I went with Benji because of the inner conflict going on. He’s just slightly more interesting. It’s also possible that I related to them a bit more; he’s funny, charming, and people like him, but underneath, he’s a complete mess who’s barely holding it together. If you remove the parts about being funny, charming, and liked, then he’s exactly like me.

Captain America: Brave New World – Isaiah Bradley

I’m uncertain about placing this here because he was a character in a TV show first, but I haven’t seen that show, so my opinion is based entirely on his characterisation in Brave New World. It’s always fascinating when series like the MCU hint at a wider world, and Isaiah is a great example of that: a superhero who has been discarded and mistreated by his own government.

Companion – Iris

It’s impossible NOT to root for Iris. A feminist icon for the AI generation. It all feels genuine and unforced. Compare this to the way that Endgame did the “girl power” moment that felt deliberate and shoehorned. Iris is a fantastic character; strong, independent, smart (after the adjustment), and importantly, she wins. She is sexualised by the characters, who refer to her as a sexbot, but she’s NOT sexualised by the film itself; the character isn’t made to bend over suggestively for the camera under the guise of “well, she’s a sexbot, she would do that”. The film treats her with respect, and that’s depressingly refreshing.

Love Hurts – Marvin Gable

Sometimes it’s good to see somebody who is just nice. No cynicism, no evil, just kind. Okay, he was a ruthless assassin, but the film does SUCH a poor job of showing us that, so his evil side never really comes through. Marvin is not on the level of Paddington, but it’s the closest of the year.

Novocaine – Novocaine

This character could have been terrible. “He can’t feel pain” could have just been dumb, and met with lots of people being like “it would be so cool to have that, I’m jealous”. Novocaine really stresses how horrible that condition actually is. It doesn’t make you a badass superhero; it makes you unable to know when you need to pee, it makes it so you can’t eat solid food because if you bite through your tongue, you wouldn’t notice, it makes it so you won’t know if you step on a nail until your shoe fills with blood. It’s a very mature take in a movie that didn’t need to be as mature as it was.

Opus – Alfred Moretti

Opus has a lot going for it, and while it isn’t great, it would be a lot worse if Moretti weren’t believable. The audience needs to forget that he’s John Malkovich and believe he’s a larger-than-life musician. He’s written so well that that’s easier to do. It’s not just him, it’s the way the other characters respond to him. He’s built up to be a huge deal, but not in an obvious “characters talk about him” way. We’re not just TOLD he’s a big deal, we’re shown he’s a big deal. It also helps that the songs are great.

Winner

Superman – Superman

In a world where not being a dick is seen as “woke”, kindndess is punk as fuck. I will admit, for a lot of my life (especially when I was an angsty dickbag), I didn’t “get” Superman. But films like this demonstrate why he is as beloved as he is; he is good. Not heroic, good. Someone who is driven not by his strength and powers, but by his inherent desire to do good.

Worst Character

Black Phone 2 – The Grabber

This is entirely down to how they change him between the films. In the first one, he was a serial killer, but still human. In this, he’s basically Freddy Krueger. I like Saw, I like A Nightmare On Elm Street, but if A Nightmare On Elm Street were a Saw sequel, it would make me like both a lot less. Normally, horror movies wait until the 5th movie before they get supernatural and stupid.

Happy Gilmore 2 – Happy Gilmore

I liked Happy Gilmore when I was a teenager. But despite what my level of maturity tells me, that was a long time ago. I’ve matured (kind of), grown up, Happy hasn’t. He’s still the same character he was at the end of the previous film. Yes, he now has kids and a dead wife. But personality-wise? He’s still the same. That kind of shtick works when you’re in your 20’s, as someone of his age, it’s just kind of pitiful, like when you see a man in his 30s drinking in a park.

One Of Them Days – King Lolo

When you watch the original Friday (which is the closest comparison anybody can make to this movie, Deebo looms heavily over everything. Even when he’s not onscreen, you are aware that he can come in at any time and fuck everyone up. You never really feel that with King Lolo here. For most of the runtime, he’s forgotten.

Urchin – Mike

It’s not fun or interesting to watch someone repeat the same mistakes and not learn anything.

Y2K – Eli

He’s an entitled incel-in-training,

Winner

Kinda Pregnant – Lainey

Maybe this film would be better if the lead character were likeable. The trouble is, her logic is so stupid, her motivation is so insincere, and her actions are so ridiculous, that it’s hard to root for her to win. You don’t necessarily want her to lose or suffer harm, but you’re not really made happy by seeing her in moments of joy. It’s a shame as there are fleeting moments where her character does work, the initial meeting with Josh is very sweet and cute, but that sweetness doesn’t make it to the rest of the film.

2025 Film Awards: Day One

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Funniest/Best Comedy

Nominees

A Real Pain

At times, this is the saddest film you will see, it will break you. That’s to be expected; it’s about family trauma, mental health, and the holocaust. What you may not expect is just how funny it is. So whether its with sadness or with laughter; one way ot another you will end up crying. The laughs are big enough to just about carry you through the sadness. They’re logical laughs, too. Based on believable character reactions. If you tell people what this film is about it will be difficult to convince them it’s a comedy. Once they watch it though, they’ll get it.

Deep Cover

I was weirdly charmed by this. I think the trailer lets it down, ruining most of the jokes by changing the timing or removing the context. If you think about it too hard, then the plot does fall apart. Thankfully the jokes are good enough to tide you over the plot issues. It could be funnier, there are multiple missed opportunities, especially towards the end. But the jokes that are there are pretty damn fine.

Heads Of State

No idea why, but my brain links this and Deep Cover, so the fact I put Deep Cover in this category kind of meant I had to put this here too. There are some great comedic action scenes, especially the one where they land and fight a random group.

I Swear

When this site was set up over a decade ago, there were some discussions that had to be made. Among those; the slogan. We hit upon “Making you feel guilty for laughing”. Whilst that may not be totally accurate now due to our move away from lists/opinion pieces and towards reviews, I like to think it’s still incredibly accurate when I showcase scripts (trust me, I’ve got one lined up the next time there’s a lull in reviews, and it was written just to see if I can make a VERY dark scene work). That slogan would also be accurate for I Swear. It’s so inappropriate that you can’t help but laugh. I never thought I’d say this; but this will make you laugh at a cancer-stricken woman being punched in the face. It would be so easy for this to cross the line and be offensive, but the writers make it work. It’s also weirdly sweet at times. The scene of him and the teenage girl in the car (it doesn’t go where you think it does) is both hilarious and sweet.

The Naked Gun

Not quite as joke-filled as the original movie, but if it’s a genuine surprise that you can say something like “sometimes there’s a whole 40 seconds without a joke” then you know a film is packed with gags.

The Roses

This got the loudest laughs of any film I saw this year. Absolutely shocking, but also brilliant.

Winner

Fackham Hall

Very similar to The Naked Gun in terms of comedy style and consistency. Fackham Hall wins out purely based on the fact that I’ve excitedly told more people about it. I haven’t felt a need to watch The Naked Gun trailer again (although I have kept an eye out to see if it’s been added to digital services), but I must have watched the trailer for this at least once a week since I watched it. The only surprising part is that a Jimmy Carr movie would be so inoffensive.

Scariest/Best Horror

Nominees

Companion

Not a traditional horror movie, more of a thriller. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this. In terms of actual movie quality, this is probably the best of this list. But in terms of horror? Not quite. The gore is fantastic though when it is used.

Drop

Not quite as close to the horror genre as the directors previous work. But it would be hard to argue this doesn’t belong here at all. It’s such a simple premise, and one which hits straight at modern fears.

Heart Eyes

For 75% of the runtime, Heart Eyes is a damn fine horror movie. It falls apart at the end with the reveal of who the killers are, but before that it’s a modern classic. Brutal, smart, and (importantly), characters you don’t actually want to see die, so you are worried when they’re near death.

Sinners

Actually, forget what I said about Companion. THIS is the best movie in this category, probably one of the best movies I’ve seen all year, in fact (definitely top 3). It is more of a horror movie than Companion, it just takes longer to become one.

The Monkey

Silly, utterly ridiculous. But so inventive and bloody that I couldn’t help but feel warm towards it.

Weapons

I didn’t rate this as high as a lot of people did, but it would be naive of me to not say how creepy it is when it does work. I had a few issues, but they’re pretty much all personal preference.

Winner

Final Destination: Bloodlines

This was a new experience for me. I’ve seen all the Final Destination movies before, but on TV or DVD, but Bloodlines is the first in the series that I’ve seen in the cinema. It’s difficult for a movie this far into a franchise to still feel fresh. The deaths are as good as ever, incredibly creative and able to make you scared of everyday things.

Worst Comedy

Nominees

Bride Hard

I can’t sum it up better than William Bibbiani did in his review on TheWrap:

“It’s abrasively hard to watch. It’s not just that the jokes fall flat, it’s that the film looks like a pile of celluloid got chopped up randomly and reassembled in what the editor could only assume was the correct order, because the script mysteriously vanished”

Happy Gilmore 2

I suppose my main issue with this movie comes down to the fact that in the time since the first movie, I’ve matured as a person (not by much) and as a movie-watcher, and it doesn’t feel like Sandlers tastes have matured at all. The references to the original don’t feel organic, and the film doens’t trust that you recognise them, so they include flashbacks which disrupt the momentum.

Winner

Kinda Pregnant

The key to comedy is truth. It’s why no comedian has started a routine with “don’t you hate when you’re drinking a glass of lemonade and it mutates into a cheese sandwich, but your girlfriend is allergic to dairy ever since she was bitten by a yak?”, because that’s not a situation anybody can buy into, so the jokes won’t work. The central premise of Kinda Pregnant isn’t one you can buy into, and the way some background characters react makes it even more unbelievable. There are a few good laughs; I particularly liked it when she got a classroom to boo a small child, but those moments are too few.

Worst Horror

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Were people crying out for this film? Was there a need for it to exist? The third one is universally regarded as one of the worst horror films of all time (and think of the ground THAT covers). This version has some fairly decent kills, and it is nice to see some of the original characters again. But there’s not much else to it. It’s a tonal disaster, especially at the end. The story falls apart under the smallest bit of scrutiny. The first movie is incredibly closely tied to Scream, and it’s hard to argue against the feeling that the release of this was entirely due to that franchise being rebooted a few years back.

Keeper

Not so much a story, more a collection of creepy moments.

M3gan 2.0

I legit love this movie, but it’s not a good horror. Tbf, it’s not trying to be, but the expectation was it would at least play to horror tropes slightly.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

It had some good ideas, and I will always appreciate watching Nazi’s die (especially on the news), but SNDN was far too stupid for me to enjoy. Similar to other films in this category, the plot falls apart once you think about it. The murders all seem to happen in a vacuum, having almost no consequence on the town. I’m not saying every sentence needs to be “I haven’t seen Bob around, have you?”, but if a hundred people die in a small town, people should notice. Also, the deaths in this aren’t meant to be scary, you’re supposed to cheer them.

Winner

Until Dawn

Videogame adaptations are hard; do you adapt the story, or the general spirit? Whenever somebody says “dude! They should make a Grand Theft Auto movie, it would be sick” I wonder what that would actually be like. The fun in GTA is playing it, not the story, so a film would just be a ridiculous gangster movie. The best adaptations attempt both. It feels like Until Dawn focused on story, and in doing so, ruined what made the games great. I haven’t played the game, but I’ve played the Dark Pictures Anthology games and The Quarry, made by the same company. What makes those games special is choice; how seemingly innocuous decisions can kill people. Plus; you have to stick with your choices. It’s all about consequence. So an adaptation which makes a point of saying that consequences don’t really matter because it will all reset seems to have missed the point.

Most Unique

Freaky Tales

You really don’t see many anthology films, so that alone is weird. But the tone of Freaky Tales is what sets it aside. It feels like a comic book adaptation. The science fiction elements are so underplayed it’s almost as if the film doesn’t think it’s worth mentioning because they’re so normalised in this world. I can see why people would dislike this movie; but it’s certainly charming, and unlike anything else I’ve seen all year.

Here

This is a fascinating concept; essentially the history of a house told in a non-linear fashion with the camera never moving. It doesn’t always work, with the crossfading being a bit too distracting at times. It definitely would have been easier to maintain momentum over a shorter runtime, but I’m glad that it tries. It’s not exactly a success, but it’s too impressive to be a failure.

Presence

A host story (very much NOT a horror) from the POV of a ghost. That aspect is really helped by the flowing camera movement. I may not have liked this film, but I appreciate it.

The Second Act

A film that’s so meta that it almost folds in on itself. Too meta, even for me. This will frustrate the hell out of 90% of people, but the 10% of people who like it will love it. I don’t think I’ve ever been as weirded out by a realistic film.

War Of The Worlds

“Unique” doesn’t always mean “watchable”. I love a good screenlife film, and am always excited to watch one when it comes out. An alien invasion movie made like this is a fascinating prospect, but this doesn’t even come close to living up to what it could/should be.

Warfare

Another gimmick, this time, a war movie that takes place in realtime. Not many films portray the reality of war, this at least shows the horror, how it can completely fuck with your head. Essentially, it’s PTSD: The Origin Story.

Winner

Good Boy

A horror movie from the POV of a dog, I haven’t seen anything close to this outside of a video game.

Saddest

A Real Pain

It’s weird that a film can be in both the “funniest” and “saddest”, this manages it, and is a big part of why (spoilers) I’ve nominated it for best film of the year. It’s not just because of the holocaust mentions, the approach to mental health will also be depressingly realistic to those who suffer (or those with basic empathy).

Key scene: So many options. I’ll go with Benji when he loses his cool on the train. Other moments are sadder, but that’s when the mask falls furthest.

Bring Her Back

I was not the biggest fan of this film, but I appreciate the way it showed parental grief. It’s the grief that adds another dimension to the character, turning her from just another horror movie villain, to someone with relatable motivations; motivations which will break you slightly.

Key Scene: I guess the whole thing. The limits that Laura went to so that she can bring back her deceased child.

I Swear

To paraphrase the film: it’s not the tourettes which makes this film sad, it’s peoples reactions to tourettes which are the problem.

Key Scene; When he gets hospitalised due to a misunderstanding. You can tell that he is worried that that’s what his life will be like from now on. That he is always at risk of someone beating the shit out of him because of something he can’t control.

Winner

Final Destination: Bloodlines

I could spin a yarn about how this movie touches on survivors guilt and mortality, and say this film is on that list because of that. Really, it’s because of one scene, and one scene only.

Key scene: Tony Todds farewell. He wrote it himself, he knew he was going to die soon and was given the chance to say goodbye to horror fans on his own terms. Other movies have been sadder all the way through; but the real-life meaning behind the sadness is why this wins.

Sweetest

Freaky Tales

It seems like the modern world is designed to cause division and anger: from football teams, to wrestling companies, to MCU/DCEU (and even then there’s subdivision between Snyder/Gunn). In those times it’s nice to see films like this; films which demonstrate we can all come together in one uniting perfect ideal; knocking seven shades of shit out of nazi cunts (fuck off)

Karate Kid: Legends

This film was not made for me. It was made for fans of the franchise, or people who, at the very least, had watched one of the films in the franchise. I went in relatively blind; yet was still charmed.

Winner

Heart Eyes

You wouldn’t expect to find a horror movie in this section, but here we are. The romantic relationship between the two leads is what separates this movie from other horrors. The romance is so great that I would have been genuinely disappointed if it turned out he was the killer; it would have actually made sad for the character, just as heartbroken as she would be. Of course, I also would have criticised it for being predictable, but still.

Most Me

Essentially, films which may not be great, but I connected with on a personal level. Films which I would show someone to best explain my taste and personality.

Companion

Bloody, funny, and feminist as fuck. Some people have described this as “anti-male”, it’s not. It’s anti-abuse, and if you see that as “anti-male” then that says more about you than it does the movie.

Matt And Mara

A “platonic” friendship full of awkwardness and conversations that consist of pop-culture references? This is the exact type of thing I write. So it’s a shame I didn’t like this. Possibly because it’s so close to me that all I could see is how I would have done it.

Queen Of The Ring

It’s a film about wrestling, of course, this would appeal to me. The soundtrack is very me too, the cover of Gods Gonna Cut You Down in particular, does feel very geared towards me.

The Ugly Stepsister

I’m a fan of retellings, and few have been done as slickly as this was. A few of these types of movies have been bad, so when it’s done well it’s a huge relief. This doesn’t just retell the story, it brings its own identity to it too. There’s some great stuff in here, stuff that will stick with you long after the credits roll (actually, this was released on streaming services, so it’s actully “long after you get a pop-up telling you to watch something else because god forbid a streaming service actually lets you settle with the impact of a movie instead of just forcing the next one down your throat).

Winner

A Real Pain

A depressing yet hilarious film that touches on mental health, isolation, mortality, and the holocaust? Love it. Plus, it stars Jennifer Grey, who I’ve always had a soft spot for.

2025 In Film: Day Nine (The Almost Amazing)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Companion
Ups: Bloody
Feminist as fuck
Great performances
Funny.
Genuinely great mid-twist.
Downs: It doesn’t seem to live up to its potential.
Too many important things happen that don’t affect the plot.
Best Performer: Sophie Thatcher
Best Moment: Her encounter with the cop. Genius.
Worst Moment: The suicide of Eli doesn’t quite hit as it should.
Opening: Iris talks about meeting Josh, then states she kills him later on. Doesn’t give the game away too much (unlike the trailer).
Closing: She waves to another companion. It should have been better.
Best Line: You’re right. I do know you. I know everything about you. I know you take almond milk in your coffee. I know you like your bedsheets untucked. I know your favourite hobbies are bar trivia, video games, and prattling on endlessly about everything the universe owes you. I know that you always need to be in control. I know that you have a below-average-sized penis. And I know that you think that having a few million dollars will disguise the fact that you are just a sad, bitter, weak human being.
Original review here

Heart Eyes
Ups: Some great kills.
Fantastic chemistry between the leads.
The attacks have weight.
Downs: The reveal is underwhelming.
The red herring is too obvious.
Best Performer: Olivia Holt
Best Moment: The meet-cute. May be a bit weird to put that in a horror movie, but it’s central to the characters working and you easily buy into it.
Worst Moment: The reveal. Easily.
Opening: Two (insufferable) people die. They really are annoying.
Closing: The couple are still together. Very sweet.
Best Line: I didn’t know that murder was a love language.
Original review here

I Swear
Ups: A touching look at an often misunderstood condition.
Highlights how far we’ve come in disability acceptance (but still not far enough)
Downs: Not every part of his story is needed.
Doesn’t mention he was part of a BBC documentary, which kind of undermines his message somewhat.
Best Performer: Maxine Peak.
Best Moment: When he meets the young girl with it.
Worst Moment: When he moves into a council house and ends up a drug dealer. Could excise that entire section and you wouldn’t notice.
Opening: Him receiving an MBE, and swearing at the Queen.
Closing: Video footage of the real person. He does actually punch Dottie in the face.
Best Line: The problem is not Tourette’s, the problem is that people don’t know enough about Tourette’s.
Original review here

Nobody 2
Ups: Violent.
Fun.
Sets up future films.
Good soundtrack
Downs: Not as good as the first one.
Some baffling decisions made by characters.
Best Performer: Bob Odenkirk.
Best Moment: The arcade fight.
Worst Moment: As much as I did enjoy it, Lendina killing everyone in the casino. Those are tourists, that would raise attention.
Opening: Hutch has to go on assignments to pay off the debt caused by his actions in the first movie (consequences!), we see how one of them goes.
Closing: A batshit insane Home Alone-style shootout in a fairground. Wonderful.
Best Line: Never bring a machete to fucking Katana duel,
Original review here

Predator: Badlands
Ups: Charming.
Wonderful world-building, the planet truly feels alive.
Ties into the Alien series, but not too obviously.
Downs: We don’t see enough of the Kalisk to make it feel like a genuine threat.
Characterisation snaps back too often, makes it seem like we’re being shown out of order.
Best Performer: Elle Fanning.
Best Moment: The trio taking over the base. So much fun.
Worst Moment: The tooling up sequence. Don’t get me wrong, it is pretty damn great, but it’s also not clear enough what some of the things are.
Opening: Introduces Dek and his brother, only to then kill one of them off. Sets the stakes up, and shows you just how expressive Dek can be.
Closing: Patricide. Really the only way it could end.
Original review here

Queen Of The Ring
Ups: Some GREAT music.
Genuinely fascinating story.
Friendly to newcomers without being insulting to fans.
Downs: Could explain some stuff more.
Skips some parts too quickly.
Best Performer: Emily Bett Rickards
Best Moment: When she wins the title.
Worst Moment: The shoe-horning of Vince McMahon Sr. seems weird.
Opening: Her fighting in Georgia. She’s struggling, in a lot of pain, and her son helps her back.
Closing: The match finishes in a draw, there’s shenanigans. Then text saying what happened to the main characters. “She never got to wrestle in the Garden” is tearjerking.
Best Line: “what we ask our wrestlers to put their bodies through in the ring, is what we ask our fans to put their emotions through in their seats”
Original review here

Superman
Ups: Very much needed at a time like this.
Understands its characters.
Great world building.
It’s nice to have a villain who’s evil. Not “misunderstood”, not “i can fix them”, just someone who is an irrefutable piece of shit.
Downs: Lacks iconic music.
Sets up films which might not happen.
Best Performer: David Corenswet
Best Moment: When Lex shoots Malik. Classic heel move.
Worst Moment: The whole “opening a crack in the earth” plot.
Opening: Quick text summary of metahumans and Superman, then footage of him after he’s had the shit kicked out of him. Brave to start a Superman movie with a shot of him being vulnerable.
Closing: Luthor’s scheme has been uncovered, and the billionaire has been arrested. Bit unrealistic.
Best Line: I am as human as anyone. I love, I-I get scared. I wake up every morning, and despite not knowing what to do, I put one foot in front of the other, and I try to make the best choices that I can. I screw up all the time, but that is being human, and that’s my greatest strength. And someday, I hope, for the sake of the world, you understand that it’s yours too.
Original review here

The Fantastic Four: First Steps
Ups: Nice time capsule.
Different.
Has heart
Never slips visually
The characters genuinely feel close.
Downs: The Natasha Lyonne sub-plot goes nowhere.
Doesn’t make you that excited for Doomsday
Best Performer: Pedro Pascal
Best Moment: The Silver Surfer flashback
Worst Moment: Sue Storm being brought back to life. Mainly because it takes sooooo long to happen, when everybody watching knows not only what will happen, but how it will happen.
Opening: Sue and Reed at home being domestic. I have very specific issues with this opening, the big one being that it’s kind of mundane and dull, especially when there’s a REALLY good introductory scene afterwards of a talk show host explaining the characters background. That would have been a much better opener.
Closing: The five are about to appear on a talk show but have to leave for some unspecified emergency. Would have been nice to see what it was.
Best Line: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
Original review here

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery
Ups: Great performances.
Good character development of Benoit.
NAILS the closing.
Downs: Not as good as the other two.
The central mystery isn’t that compelling.
Best Performer: Daniel Craig
Best Moment: The ending.
Worst Moment: When Nat stabs the body, doesn’t really work.
Opening: Priest punches someone in the face and reassigned.
Closing: Jud has reopened the church, the jewel being the hidden centrepiece.
Best Line: Here’s what’s gonna happen: Benoit freakin’ Blanc and I are gonna ask you all some questions, and you all are gonna answer them and we’re gonna get to the bottom of who killed Monsignor Wicks and why and then… that’s it!
Original review here

Superman (2025) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: When Superman gets drawn into conflicts both domestic and abroad, his life is made harder by revelations about his parents.

For a long time, I was not a fan of Superman as a character. He seemed too perfect, like a superhero invented by a child: “he can fly, and he’s super fast, and he is the strongest, and all the women want him because of how good-looking he is”. Then I started reading some, specifically All-Star Superman, For The Man Who Has Everything, and Earth One, and then I got it. The important part of him isn’t his Kryptonian side; it’s his human side. What makes him different from other “cooler” superheroes is that, despite being an alien, he represents the best of humanity. You sense that even without his powers, he’d be doing his best to help people. The release of the Dark Knight trilogy made this attitude seem passe and naive, which led to a somewhat darker take on the character with Man Of Steel. This movie corrects that. It’s not gritty and dark, it’s bright, it’s colourful, it’s fun, and most importantly, it’s hopeful.

Which, of course, has meant that idiots have derided it as woke. The reactions to this movie seem like the kind of reactions the character gets in the movie, and from what I’ve seen of James Gunn, he’s probably making notes and is going to quote them in the sequel. Let’s get this out of the way, superhero movies haven’t BECOME political, they’ve always been political. From the days of characters fighting Russians, taking on corrupt governments, rallying against corporate greed, or even just saving their local village. They’ve ALWAYS had a message; the only reason you’re opposed to it now is because you support the villains. The presentation of Superman, the character, is almost identical to how the movie itself wants to be seen. A rallying cry of hope and kindness. There’s a moment that’s telling, when a country is about to be invaded by a US-backed government (which I’m sure has absolutely no real-world comparisons), in that moment, a small child raises a Suerpman flag, a desperate cry for help.

This is a movie that understands its characters. Not just the lead. You understand why Lois Lane is so good at her job, especially when she’s interviewing Superman, and despite knowing his real identity (and dating them), she doesn’t shy away from asking difficult questions. She is tenacious, desperate to get to answers. She provides Truth to Superman’s Justice and Krypto’s American Way (being a ball of chaos that destroys stuff). Krypto is a wonderful addition, too. There was a worry that he would come off silly, and he does, but it somehow works and will undoubtedly be many people’s favourite character. The Justice Gang are fantastic background characters, given just enough details to explain them, but leave enough out that there’s room to explore in a spin-off.

This is probably the best Lex Luthor in a while. Not just for his motivations, but his behaviour. A billionaire having a team of monkeys dedicated to trolling someone feels almost Musk-like. Keeping his ex-girlfriend in a different dimension always displays a particularly entitled form of cruelty. His behaviour is chillingly realistic, as is the fact that he has teams of people who follow him. When Superman gets the crap beaten out of him, Lex has workers who cheer, not out of obligation, but because they’ve genuinely been brought into his vision.

None of this would work without actors, all of whom are damn near perfect. Hoult continues to impress, and Corenswet easily steps into boots which others would find intimidating. I’m not familiar with Rachel Brosnahan, and it did take a while to sink in that she’s not Charlotte Ritchie from Ghosts, but once I got past that, which is entirely the fault of my own faceblindness, then I saw just how good she was. Her and Corenswet have fantastic chemistry, you can easily believe that they’re a couple. Every moment when they share the screen is electric.

Another factor that helps sell this movie is the world. It doesn’t depend on real-life celebrities. When the characters fight in a baseball stadium, it’s not the team of the New York Knicks; it’s the Metropolis Meteors. When they pass a road sign, it’s leading drivers to Gotham, and adverts for burgers are for Big Belly Burgers, not Burger King. News commentators are Peacemaker instead of Joe Rogan. This is a movie that sells its own reality, and it does it brilliantly.

It also sets up the situation well. This isn’t an origin story. We don’t see a world where Superman doesn’t exist, and then he’s introduced. The opening texts state that Superman is known, plus that he just got the crap kicked out of him. It’s a brave move for the opening of a Superman movie to show him broken, but it works.

I genuinely loved this movie, but it’s not perfect. The final third could be improved. Lex decides to cause a rift that tears across the city. I’m not sure why, but this didn’t really land with me. It felt unnatural. Yes, it was done to lure Superman into the open, but I feel there must have been a better way to do it. Earlier, Luthor shoots someone in the head just because they offered Superman food, and he then threatens to go after everyone associated with him. He could have just done that instead of tearing apart the world; it feels like he escalated it somewhat. Also, it’s a bit unrealistic that a billionaire would be arrested. There’s also an action scene which is impressively shot, but the impressive nature of it makes it harder to figure out what’s happening.

In summary. I loved this movie. It’s a film that’s sorely needed in times like these. It’s nice to see the message that in an age where people feel proud to be assholes, being kind is punk rock. Even if you can’t save the entire planet, you can still mean the world to someone.

Brightburn (2019)

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Okay, so every year I do end of year awards. These include the good (best actress, best film, etc), but also the bad (worst film, worst moment, etc). Usually these are decided near the end of the year once I’ve had distance from a lot of things, that way my response isn’t too immediate and I don’t put a meh film as one of the worst films of the year. It takes something truly special to get nominated for an award that soon after seeing it. For that to happen I have to be 100% certain it will deserve it. Why am I mentioning that now? Because this will get nominated, in fact it’s probably the frontrunner for one of the awards. So which one?

Best film?

I mean, it’s about what if Superman was evil, I love dark unique films and this fits it. But it’s not that. It’s way too pedestrian for that, and it never lives up to the potential that the concept promises. It feels way too restrained but I’m not sure what by.

Best actor for Jackson A. Dunn

He plays the title role as a young teen coming to terms with the fact he’s essentially God. A fascinating character that a lot of young actors would kill for. So is that where it wins? Nope, he is good, very good in fact, but not great.

Scariest Film

I mean, the idea of a Superman-like character being evil is a terrifying concept to think about. But it’s not that. A lot of the violent scenes come off more comical than scary. There’s a moment where he snaps a character’s hand, it’s the first piece of ultraviolence in the film, and it was met with laughter in the screening I was at.

Best Character

It has to be that, right? I’ve never been invested in Superman as a character as I’ve felt he’s too good and perfect. So a twist on that should enthral me, right? Nope, it makes so many allusions to Superman that it doesn’t feel like a real character in itself. It’s so in debt to its influences that it never stands out as an independent thing.

Best Moment

Close. This film needs chaos and violence, but 90% of it was in the trailer. Actually now I think about it, most of the film was in the trailer. Almost all of the major story beats, including the ending, were in the trailer. IIRC, two of the main characters final lines are in the trailer. That’s just weird. It does come close with the post-credits scene though. Setting up potential sequels and spin-offs which do excite me. Yeah this film kind of suffers the same problem as M.Night’s Glass Trilogy, where at the end of each of the three films (Unbreakable, Split, Glass) I wasn’t excited about what I just saw, but I was excited to see what happened next (not excited enough to go out of my way to see them, but meh). Same here, I want to see what happens next. This film seems very much like a prequel to a much better film, but there’s a chance that film (a kind of evil Justice League) might not happen. Which is a damn shame.

So, which award will this be nominated for? I’m ashamed to say:

Biggest Disappointment.

I really wanted to like this film. I bigged it up to people for months, so for it to be so boring is a huge disappointment. It felt too long despite only being 90 minutes. It had some interesting moments but overall it just felt like I was playing catch up to the trailer. This should have been great, yet it’s not even okay.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) (Spoilers Version)

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Well I said I was going to put spoilers in this, so here goes:

Bruce Willis was dead all the time

Kevin Spacey is Keyser Soze

Clark Kent is Superman.

Rear-spoiler-1024x682

Oh, I suppose I should talk about the spoilers in this film. I have quite a bit to discuss about this, the ending in particular, so I had to do a different blog for it. It would be unfair to spoil the film for those who hadn’t seen it, but there were certain things I couldn’t discuss without spoiling the ending. I think that’s kind of cool though, spoilers mean something again. Because the studio put a lot of importance on not letting the ending go, it meant that people who watched it put that importance on too, plots matter again. I like that.

But this specific ending? Holy f*ck. In case you haven’t seen it here it is: pretty much everyone dies. Spiderman, Black Panther, Star Lord, Drax, Groot, Samuel L Jackson, all dead. Which is kind of odd considering that pretty much all of them have been announced for sequels. This brings up my first point; as emotional as the ending was, it won’t last. It won’t be a film that in years to come you’ll think of as emotionally devastating films. The reason for this; the ending won’t stick. It can’t stick, they’ve announced a Spider-man sequel for one. So as emotionally crushing as the deaths were, everybody knows they’ll be back. Look at articles about it, they’re not discussing “oh no, how will the surviving heroes cope with such horror?”, they’re saying “which of these will stay dead?”, which sucks. The default setting in films should be when a character dies, they stay dead, coming back from the dead should be the exception, not the expected norm. So it’s hard to feel too emotional about this, as there’s a part of you that thinks “meh, they’ll be back” or “I’ll save my emotion for when I get to the next movie and see what happens”. I mean, yeah, I am intrigued as hell as to how they’re going to do it. Personally, I think it will have something to do with Thanos using the time stone to rewind time and kill Vision. Have a feeling that once someone can get hold of that they can use it to rewind back to the rewind (if that makes sense). This means the ones who died before that ((Gamora, Loki (seriously for the love of all that is good kill Loki and keep him dead. He’s a good character but is emblematic of the “no deaths count” thing MCU has)) will stay dead, whereas those that died after the snap (Spider-man, Bucky, Brooklyn 99) will come back.

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It is coming back, right?

No idea who’s gonna do that though, I’m guessing Captain Marvel will have something to do with it but can’t say for certain as I don’t know what her powers are as I’m not too familiar with the character. Maybe it won’t be the heroes, maybe it will be the scientists, we have no idea if Selvig is still alive, if he is given the technology seen in both Ant-Man and Black Panther he could create something great. That’s if he’s still alive though. That’s something I have a problem with in this, outside of Nick Fury (and not-Robin from HIMYM), all the deaths were major characters from this film. Marvel has had A LOT of side characters in their films, did any of them die? Will we ever find out? How was this received by people who had ABSOLUTELY no idea what happened? Random people just going about their day etc when their friend suddenly disappears? I guarantee people thought it was the rapture or something. But we don’t know, because we didn’t see it from a civilian standpoint, we got a small insight with the post-credits thing where cars and planes crashed, but nothing that shows their pure visceral terror. How much more impactful would it have been if we had a character hadn’t seen in years come back for a random scene, only to die? I have a slight feeling that we’ll see that next time we see Hawkeye, that his family all disappear and he goes on a vengeful warpath. I guess what I’m basically asking in all of this is this; is Ned okay? That’s all I want to know.

 

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We love Ned

 

Where Batman Vs. Superman Failed (And Where It Succeeded)

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

It’s been out for a week not and it’s pretty safe to say that it has failed, at least in terms of critical opinion. It’s got a ridiculously low Rotten Tomatoes score, but it’s not just critics, a lot of audience members don’t like it too. A lot of people I know have seen it, and quite a few have liked it, but nobody has loved it. It hasn’t inspired any passion in anybody. There’s been no “this has changed my life” moments. Which is a shame, as the enormity of this film means it should. Ok, yes, it’s gained a lot of money, but so do Adam Sandler films, and he’s basically the film equivalent of Florence Foster Jenkins

jenkins
The most niche joke I’ve ever done. If I said “Film equivalent of Eddie The Eagle” it would work just as well

So why is? Well, I have a few ideas as to why.

1. Too Much, Too Late

We’ve seen A LOT of super hero films over the last few years. Way way too much, and there’s more to come. There’s only so many times people can stay with this kind of thing. “Comic book film” is now a genre, and there’s a reason for that, there’s a lot of similarity between them all. Sadly these are the comics that get adapted, whilst graphic novels have a lot of different genres contained within them (Maus, for example is an entirely different piece of work to The Dark Knight). But the adaptations always focus on the super hero. Most of the films are: “hero defeats small villain, big villain comes along, beats holy hell out of hero, hero comes back and beats him”. Now I LOVED Guardians Of The Galaxy, and Deadpool is one of my favourite films of this year, but even if you didn’t know anything about them you can still tell they’re comic book adaptations. The only film I can think which would work without the “comic book branding” and will stand up on its own would be Captain America: The Winter Soldier which was a superb cold war style thriller. With that many films all being very similar, the audience is getting bored. This is made worse by the fact that the aforementioned Deadpool came out and seemed to indicate a change of direction for the genre, maybe make them fun, which is needed after years of films which if they were a colour, they’d be a dark blue.

2. Too many “new” things.

Introduction to Wonder Woman, Aflecks being Batman, Jeremy Irons as Alfred, Aquaman, Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor. That’s at least five things people were focusing on in the trailers and during the film. Every trailer was met with people saying “looks like they’re doing Wonder Woman justice” or “Afleck could be good” or “F*ck Eisenberg”, and the same thoughts were coming to people during the film. The audience for this is just focusing on the aforementioned things, so they’re not paying attention to the film. You can’t expect the audience to pay attention to the film if you’re basically telling them to pay attention to everything else instead.

3. Too Much, just too much.

The major problem with showing Wonder Woman in the trailer is that it cancels out her entire story arc. Her story in this is her coming back to being Wonder Woman and whether she’ll do it or not. This takes her the entire film, but the trouble is that you already know she will as she was a big part of the marketing campaign. This is trouble with a lot of other things as well, almost every single plot point and character was showcased in the trailer. The entire film was playing catch-up to the trailer. Side note, and I might be the only person who has a problem with this: Wonder Woman says she stopped being a hero in 1916. As such since then here’s things she’s completely ignored and done nothing about:

  • Half of the first world war.
  • The second world war
  • The holocaust!
  • The cold war
  • Vietnam
  • Korea
  • Iran conflict.
  • War on terror.
  • The fights for equal rights for women and people of colour in the US.
  • Khmer Rouge.
  • The remake of The Wicker Man.

So yeah, f*ck Wonder Woman! She’s a monster.

4. Zack Snyder

Erm, he can’t really direct can he? I’ll admit, his stuff looks good, a lot of shots look like they come direct from the comic books themselves, but that’s the problem. He can adapt shots, but he can’t compose them himself. The best shots in BvS are the ones he’s taken from the source materials. As soon as he has had to compose a shot himself, it looks awful. He cannot tell a story visually, he has absolutely no idea about shot construction etc. Nothing he has ever done has shown any emotion or anything besides “ok that’s a technically good looking shot”. He should not direct, at least not without a very talented co-director. But he would make a fantastic cinematographer. Basically, he’s like a very talented singer in a covers band.

Things That Worked

1. Wonder Woman

Gal Gadot, she was f*cking incredible. Anybody who comes out of this film and doesn’t want a Wonder Woman solo movie should not be trusted to tie their own shoelaces. Which I suppose is a plus for the film in general, it kicks off the universe quite well. It’s got people to buy into the concept of a Batfleck film. It makes people want a Flash film, it even gets people excited about Aquaman, a character who has sadly become a bit of a laughing stock among people lately.

2. Performances

Whilst the jury is still out on Eisenberg (for the record, I didn’t seem to hate it as much as everyone else did), it’s almost beyond argument that Jeremy Irons worked as Alfred. Too many actors have approached Alfred as a kindly relative, the Alfred in this is kind of a bitter drunk. He would not cry when telling Bruce Wayne a story, he’d instead tell him to stop being a stupid prick and just twat him upside the head.

3. The Opening

Yeah, THAT opening scene where we see Bruce Wayne. The moment where we see the battle from Man Of Steel from the perspective of people on the ground. That, was superb and is one of the best moments of not just this film, but any film from this genre. It showed the human side to superhero films, and how terrifying that must be. Sadly these themes were almost completely ignored. They did this again when it seemed like it was starting to discuss whether superheroes can be trusted, whether them existing actually endangers the world and causes more chaos, and who will hold superman to justice? Or to put it another way: Who Watches The Watchmen? This again is just forgotten. But for the moments where these two plot points unfold, the film truly lives up to the hype.

Five great animated Batman films (that are all probably better than Batman v Superman)

On By troubledproductionsIn List, UncategorizedLeave a comment

With Batman v Superman: Failure to dawn getting DPed with serrated dildos right now, let’s get are minds away from all that and look at the best of the dark knight’s littler seen films, the many great animated flicks that didn’t even make it to cinema (well except one).

Batman: Under Red HoodBatman_under_the_red_hood_poster
Released 2010 (six years ago! Fuck), it quickly gained a reputation for being one of the very best batman films ever, not just animated. Visually inspired with Nolan’s gritty down to earth style; Under Red Hood is the adaptation of Judd Winick’s own batman stories, Hush and Under the Hood, both of which he manages to improve upon, tightening the narrative and sharpening the resolution greatly. The strength of this caper comes from its intriguing mystery and lean into the detective elements of Batman (something NONE of the live-action films want to do!), on top of the very emotionally charged look at Batman’s character, as it retells and develops the death of Jason Todd’s Robin, and how that redefined Batman.

Batman_mask_of_the_phantasm_posterBatman: Mask of the Phantasm
The classic one. This one actually was released in theaters all the way back in 1998, but did badly because of how terrible the live action films were around then (Batman and Robin destroyed soooo much). But unlike those travesties, this film has just gained more and more praise over the years; mostly for its complex portrayal of Bruce Wayne and the development of how his personal life, far beyond the death of his parents, defined his Batman identity, for good and for worse. Spin that round another engaging mystery of a new villain out to settle old scores, and you have one of the seminal original Batman stories. Really if you’re a fan and you haven’t seen this yet, what’s wrong with you?

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Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
The only movie based on the sometimes underrated Batman Beyond series, that may not be as classic as the original animated show, but definitely had its own thing going. Anyway, this film made the smart choice of focusing on the original Batman just as much as the new one, Terry Mcginnis. So not only do we get a compelling look at the younger Batman as he fights to define what the cowl means to him, but we also get some just plain fucked-up development for the original cape crusader, as his legacy is put into even darker contexts with the reveal of his last bout with the Clown Prince of Crime.

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 Justice League: Flashpoint Paradox
Okay, it’s not a Batman film, but a Justice League one that focuses on The Flash. But it’s more than worth a watch just for the universe the story takes place in. After the Flash does some wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff he ends up in an alternate universe from the normal DC fare; a much darker one, where Bruce Wayne died instead of his parents, Clark Kent never landed in Smallville, and many more tweaks that ripple throughout this complex and bleak DCU. The central plot around Flash is emotionally compelling enough, but it’s really the messed up elseworld setting that takes the grizzled cake here.

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Batman_The_Dark_Knight_Returns_(film)
Two full length movie adaptions of the seminal Frank Miller graphic novel, best viewed as one complete film….what else do I need to say? Is it as good as the comic, no, but it doesn’t miss anything out, and finds plenty of smart ways to blend the famous narration into it without becoming exposition heavy. So if you want the real take on the story, and not the patch work #inspired one BvS has given us, this is a must see for all Batman fans.

Further watching
Honestly, almost all of DC’s animated films. I’ve missed some classic ones here for the sake of diversity; and though clearly not all great, DC’s been doing strong work in the animation front for years, delivering time after time entertaining adaptations, that either lead into their vastly growing continuity like with the last five Batman films; or with some straight adaptations, like the highly anticipated Killing Joke due later this year.

further watching

So if the live action DCCU has ya down, depressed, and ready to go on a Superman sized massacre, just look to the straight to DVD basket for the real DC connected universe.

Recasting: The Justice League

On By troubledproductionsIn List, Recasting...Leave a comment

So to celebrate (or commiserate: we haven’t seen it yet) Batman Vs. Superman (or to give it it’s full title: Batman Vs Superman: Dawn Of The Rise Of The Planet Of Justice League Of National Geographic) we thought we’d do a blog about it. Marvel’s cinematic universe is in full swing (although after the somewhat muted reception to Avengers: Age Of Ultron, it’s fair to say there is a lot riding on Civil War) but what about the DC one? It’s irrelevant to this blog anyway, as we’re reshaping it anyway with our traditional recasting. So here we go!

Superman/Clark Kent

"The Hunger Games" Los Angeles Premiere - Arrivals

Wes Bentley

This was quite hard to do really. I say this as a completely heterosexual person, but Superman has to be good looking. And in a certain way. He can’t be hipster good looking, and he can’t be the kind of guy you imagine stepping shirtless out of a lake, he has to be 1940’s good looking. The kind of guy you imagine playing snooker in a smoke-lit bar. I was going to go for Afleck for this but then realised someone better: Wes Bentley. Otherwise known as the guy who died in the first Hunger Games film. To me he has the look, he has the hair, and he has the certain “otherworld”ness that he needs.

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Matt Damon superman

An American as the American icon! Perish the thought! But really, even as he gets up there in years, Damon still has the boyish charms of a boy scout, but the chin and body of a harden soldier. His charismatic roles in light-hearted films like, The Martian, Ocean’s 11, and The Informant shows he can play adorkable very well, while his Bourne franchise shows he can kick-ass with the best of them. Dye his hair black and bulk him up a bit and, BAM-BOOM-WACK, we’ve got a lovable Clark Kent and a badass and charismatic Superman. Really he seems like an obvious choice, and I’m surprised he’s never been approached before. Admittedly he’d have to be an older Superman, but what’s wrong with that?

Batman/Bruce Wayne

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Tom Hiddleston

I know, never going to happen but I think he could do it. The reason why I never really brought Bale as Batman had nothing to do with his performance as Batman, it was his performance as Bruce Wayne that I hated. Bruce Wayne is basically a swaggering cockhead, Bale never had that “I’m the smartest guy in the room” mentality. Hiddleston would. I know some people may doubt he’d be physically imposing enough and to them I say this: Michael Keaton managed it. Side note: I was also considering Tom Hardy for this.

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Clive Owen

I really like the look of Ben Affleck as Batman, and I’m not surprised the early reviews for OwenBruceBatman v Superman are siting him as the best thing about it; but as my co-producer said, this is recasting, so we have to recast. So I choose the grizzled British badass himself Clive Owen because… well look at him. Those eyes. That chin! He’s shown he has the charm and wit to play a convincingly smarmy Bruce Wayne in films like Closer, and the action experience and intensity to be a terrifying Batman. Again another older pick, so realistically there would be a restriction to how long he could play the part, but who cares!

Wonder Woman

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Lily James

Yes, I know, Gal Gadot looks like she’ll be f*cking superb. But the name of the blog is recasting so I have to recast. This choice was made entirely because of Pride And Prejudice and Zombies, for which she was absolutely amazing and kicked the right amount of ass. I was also tempted to go with Ronda Rousey before remembering I have no idea if she can act or not. There’s a real lack of women in hollywood who could make believable action heroes.

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Emily BluntALL YOU NEED IS KILL

I just like Emily Blunt, can’t lie that’s part of it. But there are a lot of legitimate reasons why she would be a great Wonder Woman. One) she actually looks like a woman, not a teenager (and that’s only a small poke at Gal Gadot, who does look good). And two) with her excellent turns in the recent action heavy Edge of Tomorrow and Sicario, she’s shown she can own complex action set-pieces with the best of them, and can play intelligent militaristic characters with human flaws to a tee; traits a good Wonder Woman needs, coming from an island of Warrior Women and all.

Green Lantern

Nathan Fillion

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Mainly because in my head I can hear him do the Lantern Oath in my head. And he looks like the kind of guy who’s had powers bestowed upon him, rather than having been born.

 

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Michael B. Jordan

John Stewart has always been my favorite Green Lantern, and after the disastrous abortionlantern of 2011’s Hal Jordan Green Lantern film, I think a change of pace with the hero is needed. Now Michael B. Jordan maybe a bit young to play the part, but he’s a fast rising star who’s already proven himself to have the chops to carry a film and do action well, so a younger take on the character could easily work, and add some needed levity to the DCCU. Honestly Jordan would make the perfect Cyborg too, having already voiced the character in Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, but we didn’t include him on this list because well, who thinks of Cyborg when you think of the Justice League!

Aquaman

eye-candy-ryan-gosling-4Ryan Gosling

Imagine the fanservice! The film would have an excuse to have Ryan Gosling walking slowly out of a puddle of water, thereby doubling your ticket sales AND encouraging a few more puddles of wetness in the audience. He has the looks, he DEFINITELY has the star power, and if you’ve seen Only God Forgives etc you know he has the acting skills necessary. Aquaman is generally regarded as a bit lame by the mainstream audience, so it needs somebody who can kick it back into relevancy. And who better than Gosling?

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Charlie Hunnamimg_0665

I haven’t seen Sons of Anarchy, or even Pacific Rim, though heard great things about both. The only things I’ve seen him in are Crimson Peaks, which was fine, and the UK Queer as Folk series, which I didn’t realize was him till just now. So this is based purely on look and reputation, but Hunnam looks perfect to bring the king of the sea to the big screen, and would actually fit the character’s iconic (and heavily mocked) design, adding the much needed edge and toughness too it, instead of just changing it like the Jason Momoa version has.