Tag: Robert Pattinson

Die My Love (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Grace is a writer and mother. One of those things is ruining her life.

This is going to be a difficult review to write. Not for personal reasons, the emotional moments didn’t cause PTSD or flashbacks to similar events in my life. It’s difficult because it’s going to be tricky for me to talk about this and not make it very similar to my review of Urchin. I also went into that with high expectations, which weren’t met. Both films seem to have a disconnect between reviewers and audiences; with multiple high scores in professional reviews, yet audiences (at least the screenings I was in) met them with silence at best, and derision at worst. They both suffer the same flaw: making a straightforward and potentially emotionally compelling piece “artsy” to the point it’s incomprehensible.

Die My Love (DML, pronounced Dimm-ell) has noble intentions; showcasing how postnatal depression can cause women to feel isolated and gaslit by their own brain, how damaging it can be to their mental and physical health. The issue is that it’s clear that some of the film takes place inside her head, but you’re never sure quite how much. It’s the kind of film which, if it ended and you found out everything except the opening scene was all a dream, would make sense. There’s no indication of what’s real and what’s imagined, so it’s difficult to feel fully invested. It also makes it difficult to learn anything from it. It doesn’t say how you can help your loved ones who are dealing with similar issues, and no indication of how women can help themselves through it. The character does go to a psychiatric institution, but that doesn’t help. If anything, it just widens the chasm between the two leads, with her being angry at him for attempting to get her help. So the main message seems to be “you’re fucked”. The lack of audience investment also means that there is zero emotional resonance. This should be deeply emotional; instead, you’re left cold because you don’t give a shit about anybody in it.

Jennifer Lawrence gets some slack, but she is the core to what does work; the few moments which have emotion are all down to her. Robert Pattinson is fine, but there were many scenes where I couldn’t tell if he was angry and frustrated or just drunk. The two have great chemistry as a couple. The opening moments of them as a happy couple are delightful. The wordless foreplay feels real; they feel like a couple at play, completely comfortable with each other. Most of the other cast aren’t really in it long enough to leave an impact. I love LaKeith Stanfield, but his character adds nothing except raised questions. If you removed him, it would leave no hole in the film. That’s partly because a lot of the film goes from moment to moment, with things happening and then not being referenced again. You’d think somebody headbutting a mirror until they bleed would be mentioned, but nope. They rarely mention a character killing a dog. In fact, they don’t bring up the baby as much as they should, with multiple scenes where it feels like they just leave it at home.

On the plus side, the choice of music is good. With some songs you’ll know, and some you won’t. They are all tonally perfect for each scene, usually played at the perfect volume. I am aware that’s a weird thing to say, but sometimes films struggle to show music being played, with there being a disconnect between the music and the scene, with it clear that the music isn’t actually being played on set. DML, you can almost feel the beats of the music as it’s played, and she dances around the house.

In general, DML is a deeply uncomfortable watch. The constant noise and narrative disruption mean the audience never feels settled; they always feel tense and frustrated. I get it, that’s the point, it means you feel what the character feels. But if something is designed to be deliberately off-putting, it’s not an unfair criticism to not like it because you find it off-putting. I can watch films about death and loss without the requirement of the cinema staff murdering the person sitting in front of me. It feels like a film you’re supposed to analyse, dissect, discuss, think about, pore over. There are very few moments where it feels like a film you’re supposed to watch and want to see again. It’s a thesis, not a film.

Mickey 17 (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Mickey is an expendable (not the Jason Statham kind), which means his job is to die doing dangerous work and be replaced by a new version of him again and again. Things go wrong when he carelessly doesn’t die, and meets his own replacement. Yup, it’s essentially Moon, but weirder.

I’ll say this right out of the gate; this isn’t as good as Parasite. But Parasite is one of the best films ever made. Mickey 17 is still fine, still so fine it blows my mind, hey mickey! Dumb joke, I know, but at least I didn’t make the “I haven’t seen Mickey 1-16” joke.

The other thing to point out is that just because you like the trailer, that doesn’t mean you’ll like the movie. The film itself is much slower-paced than you’d think. It’s not as chaotic and fun as the energetic trailer made it seem. That’s not to say it’s not a fun experience at times. There’s some FANTASTIC comedy in here. It’s just that in between the comedy and slapstick, there are dark truths about humanity and some incredibly unsubtle satire. It reminds me of how John Oliver described Russia; very funny, until it’s suddenly very not.

Mickey 17 is not subtle, and Boon Joon Ho is not a subtle filmmaker. But these are not subtle times. These are times when the world is going to shit, politicians are threatening to invade countries and their supporters respond with “Well just because he said he was going to explore military options to grab their territory doesn’t mean he wants to invade them”, as if countries will be persuaded to give up land by, I dunno, fucking parades or ironed uniforms or some shit? This is a perfect time for a movie like this. We need to see what happens when a populist and sociopathic leader is given power, his cult followers ignoring every sense of self-preservation because they believe the bullshit he’s sprouting. They believe the man who eats the finest food every day when he talks about how everyone needs to make sacrifices, which include cutting back on food for everyone else. Like I said, not subtle. Joon Ho wields his fury like a blunt weapon, but a weapon that has the potential to do a lot of damage. The fact that this feels VERY 2025 is weird considering it was meant to be released last year. The delayed release schedule has only made it feel more relevant, which is a depressing thought. It’s not just the politics, it attacks the personal too. It’s very telling that the first person to see Mickey die onscreen is his friend from earth (who is responsible for the situation in the first place), and he just reacts with nonchalance. Yes, he’ll come back, but what does it say that you can watch your friend die and not be haunted by it? How desensitized to human suffering must you be to not be bothered by it? Next time you want to know that question, look at how people respond to migrant deaths. We are not better than the characters in this movie. We are just as shitty, just as heartless, and we need to be reminded of that occasionally so we can fix that shit.

Even without the politics, it’s still a worthwhile watch. The visuals are stunning. The snow-covered beauty of Niflheim is poster-worthy, and the designs of the creepers perfectly toe the line between cute and disturbing. There are zero parts where the visuals let you down, whether it’s in space, the brutal deaths, or even the part where we see half a body being created.

None of that, the script, the visuals, none of it would matter if it wasn’t for the performances. Obviously, Pattinson will get the acclaim, and rightfully so. Even in the same clothes, there is zero chance you’ll get Mickey 17 and 18 confused. I love that he’s reached that stage of his career where he’s just doing weird shit. I want to see him and Radcliffe do something else together now they’re both in their weird shit phase. Mark Ruffalo is despicable, but his influences are a bit too obvious. I loved Patsy Ferran too. It’s actually the second time I’ve mentioned her in this blog, I mentioned her in my review of Tom And Jerry (available here) where I said

“The real star of the show for me is Patsy Ferran as an awkward bellhop. Her character steals every single scene she’s in and I wish it focused more on her instead of, well, every other human character”

She’s just as good this time too. But with the added bonus of actually being in a good movie and surrounded by talented performers this time. I still want to see her in a bigger role, but it’s still nice to see her.

Now onto the bad. There are moments when it seems things are being set up, which are then discarded. Characters act a certain way and then those motivations are ignored in the next scene. There’s also a dream sequence near the end which, to put it mildly, is a complete waste of time. It’s also going to be far too long for some people to be into.

Personally? I loved this. It was long, but I was never bored. It’s not my favourite film of the year. But it’s my favourite “blockbuster” that I’ve seen in a long time. I genuinely can’t remember the last time I was this pleased by a big-budget bombastic piece of cinema. I want more films like this. The world needs more films like this. And if there’s a single positive (albeit a very minor one) of the world’s shitshow, hopefully, it’s that we get great art like this.

2022 In Film: Day Ten (The Amazeballs)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Belle

Ups: A real sense of magic and wonder.

The music is beautiful.

Says a lot about online identity

Hits deeper than you think it will

Downs: The central relationship feels a bit too rushed at the start. It earns it later on, oh boy does it earn it. But the opening moments don’t work.

Best Moment: The moment where the virtual world ends up singing as one. It’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

Worst Moment: The first beast fight drags just a minute too long.

Opening: Explains the virtual world via an advert. Good, and very effective, but it does it all again later so a bit pointless. Personally, I would have started with the mother drowning. Although if they did that I would then complain that it doesn’t fit thematically, and they should have started talking about the technology. Really tricky. I suppose they could have just cut the later references.

Closing: Okay, I didn’t like the ending at first. I thought the musical moment was a great ending, then it went on and I was like “oh no”. But then we found out why the beast is the way he is, and it was shocking, and harrowing, and perfect. She went to his town to save him and stands up to his dad. I thought it would end there, it continued and I was disappointed. But then HER ending happened. Her friend tells her he no longer feels the need to protect her, as she can do it herself. She then finds the courage to sing with her friends (earlier in the film the prospect literally made her sick). That’s how it ends, with her being able to sing in public, and it’s beautiful.

Best Line: “I can finally sing again”. So much in that one line, and it’s perfectly delivered.

Original Review here

Bullet Train

Ups: Creative fight scenes, very Jackie Chan.

Funny. Like, laugh out loud funny. I nearly ran out of breath laughing so much

Contains more Thomas The Tank references than you’d expect from a 2022 film set in Japan.

Surprisingly faithful adaptation of the book, but with enough changes to still surprise you.

Well-written characters.

Downs: Bit too sweary at times.

Some people may be put off by how it spends entire sequences introducing people, only to kill them off.

Best Moment: The Wolf. His entire sequence is a masterclass in how to set up a character’s motivations, and it’s stylish as hell.

Worst Moment: One of the deaths feels a little unearned.

Best Performer: Andrew Koji. But really it could be any of the main cast. He gets the nod just because he has a bit more character work to do.

Opening: A child lies in a hospital bed, near-death. Kind of a weird way to start a goofy film like this, but it also sets the stakes up out of the gate, so that even in the most comedic moments, the tension is still there.

Closing: One of the characters thought to be dead turns out to have survived. In two minds about this as it is quite unrealistic and suspends disbelief quite a bit, on the other; it is funny, and this film isn’t exactly realistic in the first place.

Best Line: “eat a bag of dicks lady”. Mainly because it is perfectly timed in the middle of a fight scene.

Original Review here

Encanto

Ups: The sheer emotion.

Downs: The plot isn’t the best.

Best Moment: Surface Pressure, without a doubt.

Worst Moment: There’s a moment in the opening song (just before the “grandkids roundup”) that just feels out of place, seems a bit too much like a white guy in his 40s doing a rap about road safety.

Best Performer: Jessica Darrow, not that familiar with her but her vocal work is perfect in this.

Opening: The second line is “this is where our magic comes from”. They then explain its history of it. They jump right in and I appreciate it.

Closing: The house is fixed and everybody is happy. Very Disney but incredibly sweet.

Best Line: “I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service”

Original review here

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Ups: The way it mixes lowbrow comedy with highbrow philosophy.

Some of the most creative fights you’ll see.

Incredible visuals.

Actually, I’m just going to say it; almost everything about this film is incredible. So just, for positives: everything.

Downs: Might be a bit too weird for some.

There are some times where the subtitles ruin the joke. Like not explaining that the reason two characters have issues communicating is they’re speaking different dialects of the same language, which doesn’t come through in the subtitles.

Does take a while to kick off.

Best Moment: Two rocks with googly eyes speaking entirely through on-screen text, with no music. Yup, THAT’S what I’m going with. All the action scenes, and I’m going with the easiest thing in the world to shoot. How something so simple managed to bring a roomful of people to tears is a piece of wonder.

Worst Moment: Some of the multiverse scenes can be a bit confusing at times in terms of knowing what one you’re in.

Best Performer: Oh this is tough. If Michelle Yeoh isn’t nominated for an Oscar for this, it’s a genuine travesty (since this was written, she has been nominated, so that’s a plus). Ke Huy Quan, also impressive. But I think I might have to give it to Stephanie Hsu, purely because the extremes between the different versions of her are so prevalent, and she nails them all.

Opening: First off, I have to mention the multiverse versions of the opening logo, genius. The movie itself: the three main characters joyfully together. Then smash cut to Yeoh’s character stressing out over receipts. Delightfully understated, and good use of mirrors.

Closing: The family relationships are fixed, and Everlyn goes back to IRS office to refile her taxes. Understated way to end a film like this, but it works. Means that it has that thing which a lot of films lack: actual closure. It helps that Yeoh and Huy Quan have tremendous chemistry, so their sweet happiness at the end is infectious.

Best Line: “Of all the places I could be, I just want to be here with you.” Just remembering that line brings me to tears. God damn I fucking love this movie.

Original Review here

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Ups: Smart.

Terrific ensemble cast.

A lot of fun.

Possibly better than the first one.

Downs: The mystery isn’t as compelling as the last one.

Best Moment: The reveal.

Worst Moment: The throat spray, only because it reminds me of COVID.

Best Performer: Janelle Monae.

Opening: Standard “introducing all the characters montage”, linked by watching a governer being interviewed, and them receiving a parcel from Miles Baron, a tech billionaire strange person. Works well though, there are a few odd shots. But I’ll always appreciate great dialogue like “I had no idea that word was an ethnic slur, I thought it was a generic term for cheap” “Jewy?” “Yeah”. It’s interesting seeing the different people solve the box.

Closing: Once again, this nails the closing shot. This is more artful than the ending of the first one, not quite as satisfying, but much smarter.

Best Line: “it’s so dumb it’s genius” “no! It’s just dumb”

Original Review here

Nope

Ups: Will stay with you for a long time after you leave.

Utterly horrifying at times.

Downs: Not for mass audiences.

Best Moment: The reveal of what happened on set. It’s………it’s something else. Also the reveal of what Jupe is doing, you know it won’t end well.

Worst Moment: The death of the father could be slightly better. Very minor criticism.

Best Performer: Keke Palmer.

Opening: A quick look at the aftermath of Gordy’s attack. Automatically gets the audience asking questions, and disgusts them. And the reveal when you don’t find out is totally worth it.

Closing: OJ survives. That’s nice.

Best Line: Not really a line, but when Jupe is talking about the memories of Gordy, through an SNL sketch. It says soooo much about him, and the way pop culture treats tragedy.

Original Review here

The Batman

Ups: Really brings Gotham to life.

Almost perfect casting.

Leaves you wanting more, but also works as a standalone.

Downs: Repeats music at times.

Could cut a few minutes.

Best Moment: When Batman goes to save a group of people, they flinch away from him. Genius. It shows how his use of fear to keep order needs to be balanced with providing hope.

Worst Moment: The Joker tease.

Best Performer: Robert Pattinson. A lot of people were against his casting, and they’ve all been proven wrong.

Opening: Riddler being a creepy little stalker. Is like something from a horror movie and does a good job of making the “dark gritty” Nolan films seem like Saturday morning cartoons by comparison.

Closing: Batman rides a bike. One of the scenes which could have been reduced slightly. Especially since the scene before it would have made a better ending.

Best Line: “I’m vengeance”. When he delivered that line in the trailer, THAT’S when I knew Pattinson would be a great Batman.

Original Review here

The Menu

Ups: Darkly hilarious.

Spot-on satire.

Good performances.

The more you think about it, the better it gets.

Downs: Shows its hand earlier than you may like.

Repeats its themes

Best Moment: Tyler’s Bullshit. Comes just after finding out how much of a dick Tyler is, so it’s incredibly satisfying to watch him humiliated like that.

Worst Moment: Man’s Folly. Only because the hunt aspect could have gone on longer, or serve a narrative purpose.

Best Performer: Ralph Fiennes. He’d make a great serial killer.

Opening: Margot smokes, Tyler yells at her, saying she’ll ruin her palette. Sets her up as a quickfire nonchalant person, and sets him up as a kind of insufferable foodie.

Closing: Margot eats a cheeseburger. Have to say, it is one damn fine-looking burger.

Best Line: “you’ve taken the joy out of eating. Every dish you served tonight has been some intellectual exercise rather than something you want to sit and enjoy. When I eat your food, it tastes like it was made with no love(…)I thought tonight was a night of hard home truths. This is one of them. You cook with obsession, not love. Even your hot dishes are cold. You’re a chef. Your single purpose on this Earth is to serve people food that they might actually like, and you have failed. You’ve failed. And you’ve bored me. And the worst part is I’m still fucking hungry.”

Original Review here