Tag: movie-review

Seize Them! (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Queen Dagan has been toppled by a revolution led by Humble Joan. With the help of servant Shulmay, she aims to get her crown back.

I’m aware I am kind of pretentious sometimes when it comes to my film taste. But it’s a weird kind of pretentiousness, one which will talk endlessly about obscure Polish films, or how the work of Lotte Reiniger still holds up almost 100 years later. Yet, I also dislike Men (the film, not the gender, although….) and I’m not that fond of the films of Wes Anderson.

So whilst my taste may run a little weird at times, I love films that are just dumb fun. They’re not trying to change the world, or wow you, they’re just there to distract you from the Western-supported genocide occurring 2000 miles away (wait until you find out the fucked up shit I found out whilst googling that distance by the way). It’s in this sphere of silliness that Seize Them falls. It’s different from something like Bill, which had historical in-jokes and at least had the pretence that it happened in reality. There’s no effort to pretend this is real; it’s a live-action cartoon in a fictionalised version of history. This has as much in common with the Dark Ages as the Artemis Fowl movie has with the books it was (supposedly) based on.

This isn’t something you can see being quoted in an academic paper. It’s not supposed to be though. It’s just dumb jokes wrapped up in a different time. It does make the most of the concept though, there are a lot of jokes which wouldn’t work outside of this context, which is something I always like. I like when jokes are unique to a film, especially if it’s a comedy set outside of “now”. Crucially, it doesn’t have any of those “knowing” jokes. You know the kind, where someone invents a modern invention and is rubbished, or otherwise makes a reference to modern times. The kind of “It’s a communication device mixed with a telescope, we call it an Eye-Phone”. I know comedy is subjective, and different jokes for different folks. But those are the ones that come up a lot in films like this and I cannot stand them, not just in a “that joke didn’t land” way, when I see those jokes, it actively turns me against the film.

The jokes are helped by just how talented the cast is. Casual audiences are more likely to be aware of Nick Frost (from his films with Simon Pegg), Nicola Coughlan (from Derry Girls, Bridgerton, and “you won’t believe how old she is” posts on Facebook), or James Acaster (from memes about the world falling apart). It’s mainly led by Aimee Lou Wood (from Sex Education) and Lolly Adefope (from Ghosts/Taskmaster), they make a good pair, sharing natural chemistry. They spend a lot of time with experienced comedy performer Nick Frost, and they easily match him. They both nail their roles perfectly. Lou Wood turns what could be an annoying character into someone sympathetic. Kind of sympathetic anyway. The third-act conflict only really happens because of her character derailment. Also, I’m still not quite sure that with the world the way it is at the moment, a movie about how “this rich useless person who holds all the power is someone you should be sympathetic towards, the woman fighting against her and campaigning for equality is just a phoney who will end up being a dictator”, is that really a message that needs to be put into the world right now?

In summary, a hilarious movie, with oddly memorable music. Not the best film of the year, but incredibly fun. For better (the jokes, the performances) and for worse (the production values, the pacing), it does feel a bit like an extended episode of a Channel 4 sitcom. Funny as hell though. I mean, how many other films have two characters die from fatal wanking incidents? It should have had a better cinema release though, at my local it was only on once a day, and with zero promotion.

The First Omen (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Church’s be crazy, y’all

Arkasha Stevenson is one hell of a director. TFO is a spectacularly directed feature, which is even more astounding considering it’s her debut. She has a hell of a legacy to tackle, kind of. The Omen is the first horror movie I remember scaring me, but not the first I watched. In fact, I’m not even sure it was the actual film, it might have just been a parody someone did on a British comedy show (it feels very Vic Reeves), but the image of Damian knocking his mother over the balcony is chilling, and it’s not just me who thinks so. The first Omen (as in, the original 1976 movie, not the one I’m currently reviewing) is a horror classic, the sequels and the remake? Not so much. The original is full of moments which have been referenced and parodied, the third one does have a cool moment where someone blows their head off in front of a touring school group which is cool, but it otherwise hasn’t touched public consciousness in the same way. Stevenson has the chance to do something incredible but also has the pressure of attempting to match the original. Her task is made harder by two things: 1) it is a prequel. Prequels are notoriously difficult to get right, especially for horror movies as everybody knows the villain survives, so where is the tension? 2) She’s a woman. A female-directed horror movie gets judged much more harshly than a male one. Every mistake is scrutinized, any strong female characters, or villainous male ones, are “evidence of wokeness, I mean, a woman existing? Woke!”

So it’s a pleasant surprise that reviewers have actually been kind to this. After watching, it’s easy to see why. This is a surprisingly solid horror movie. Its biggest flaws are the inevitable comparisons to both the original 1976 movie, and to the recently released Immaculate. Thankfully, the comparisons to the original don’t happen too often. It does have a character from the OG Omen as a main character, but it crucially never puts THAT character in danger. It has enough characters to throw into peril to keep you second-guessing whether they survive. It does have enough twists and turns to keep you on your toes, but one of them, the most important one, is set up TOO well, to the point where experienced film watchers are likely to have guessed it before they’re told, mainly because it’s the only way certain things make sense.

The script is pretty damn good. It actually gives a reason as to why the church is supporting the rise of Satan. Crucially, a lot of the scares aren’t just jump scares, some truly grotesque and Cronenbergian images will linger like a Cranberries song, but not as enjoyable. The childbirth scene, in particular, is horrific and is a scene that could only be done by a female director. Stevenson’s talent lies in having a female lead in a horror movie, but not making her seem like a victim, or sexualising any of the horror. When Nell Tiger Free’s Margaret is writhing around, lesser directors would have filmed it in such a way that it would resemble low-budget porn, in this it’s clear that Margaret is SUFFERING. That’s not just the directing though, Nell Tiger Free is one hell of a performer. She’s surrounded by experienced performers; Ralph Ineson, Bill Nighy etc, but Nell is the best of the lot.

I mentioned earlier that there aren’t many jump scares, but the best scare I can remember IS of the jumping variety. It’s such a simple one too, her saying “It’s not real” repeatedly, then a disembodied voice cutting in with “what’s not real?”. It’s a rare jump scare, of the almost entirely audio variety. But it’s so damn unexpected and chilling that it will fuck you up a little bit. It’s probably my favourite scare since the Eternal Darkness Bathtub scene. It could be better, it settles back down too quickly, but not quickly enough for it to be shocking. It doesn’t have enough time to really settle before it’s moved on. It’s still phenomenal but not quite perfect.

In summary, I highly recommend this. It’s not incredible, but it’s a lot better than it could be. It’s artful and confident, and I’m excited to see what Stevenson can do when she’s not shackled by the constraints of franchise rules. The “It’s all for you” moment in particular feels like it would be a much better scene without that reference. The weakest part of the movie is the most obvious allusion to what happens next; the ending where it’s revealed the child has been given to Robert Thorn and named Damian. It’s supposed to be a dramatic ending, but it’s a bit pointless. We know the child has been given to Thorn, and everybody in the audience knows what happens next. His being called Damien isn’t important. Nobody was sitting there thinking “Wait, is that baby the kid from the first movie?”. It’s not as though the film was going to end with the reveal that this is ANOTHER demon child that was given to the Thorn family after killing their child and doing a swap.

Also, the use/updating of Ave Satani doesn’t really work, which is a shame as that’s in my top five horror movie themes.

Immaculate (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A naive nun joins a remote convent in Italy, discovering they’re harbouring a dark secret.

I have three horror reviews to write this week: this, Late Night With The Devil, and The First Omen. I was going to review Late Night With The Devil (LNWTD, pronounced La-new-ted) first, it’s the most critically acclaimed of the three, and I have the strongest opinions regarding it. But after seeing seeing Immaculate I have to do this first. Not because my feelings towards it are particularly strong, or because I have anything important to say. I’m just not sure how I can put this and The First Omen reviews next to each other, I haven’t seen TFO (Tee-foe) yet, but there is a definite worry that they will be treading similar grounds, and I don’t want to repeat myself. Plus, if I think of any jokes after posting this, I can just use them in the TFO review. The upside of repetition in cinema.

Now onto Immaculate itself. It’s received a lot of praise, particularly for Sydney Sweeney’s performance. I’m not entirely sure I agree. The final third, she is superb, a cinematic slice of delicious cheesecake. But for most of it? She appears kind of bored. Like I said, the final third where she has the hardest stuff to do, she’s great at. But the standard conversations with others? Doesn’t feel real, with one exception. Her interactions with Sister Gwen (played by Benetta Porcaroli) are incredibly sweet and I wish I could see more of them. Sadly, Gwen is killed relatively early on. Her body is discovered in the closing section and this is filmed like it’s supposed to be a surprise. Not entirely sure it is though. The last time we saw her she was being tortured, and then she didn’t appear again for (in film time) about 6 months, obviously she’s dead. It would be a bigger shock if she wasn’t.

There is a distinct lack of surprise in Immaculate. You can pretty much plot what’s going to happen based on the synopsis, all the twists and turns are more like slight veers to the left to the left. Sorry, went a bit Beyonce there. The final third is batshit insane and I am all for it, but the lead there just isn’t that exciting. The people you expect to be shits turnout to be shits, turns out there is a massive conspiracy where the church is impregnating young nuns without their knowledge. Which is a bit stupid when you think about it, there must be millions of women who would willingly consent to that, so going after unwilling ones just seems like you’re setting yourself up to be the villain. I kind of wish that the blood they used for the procedure turned out to not be from Christ at all. There’s not a single moment where there’s any doubt that that is his blood. That’s a lot of faith. Biblical relics are not that well preserved and catalogued. There are 21 churches which claim to have the foreskin of Jesus, and that means at least 20 of them are wrong or lying unless he had 21 penises (which I think they would have mentioned in the book, but it would have meant they’d have to change the title from The Bible to The 21 Dicked Man, which won’t sell as well). So the odds that they would have the correct artifact are quite low. I do like that the film discusses how their methods are more likely to create the antichrist (and it’s implied that is what happens). But the scene where they discuss that does have someone say “If this is not the will of God, why does he not stop us?” and this is treated (even by TVTropes) as a “gotcha”. So if God allows something, this means he supports it? I think the residents of Germany in the late 1930s would have a few fucking things to say about that. As would the residents of cities hit by tsunamis and earthquakes, and people who had to watch Madame Web.

As I said, the final third is superb, and it has one of the strongest closing scenes I’ve seen since Knives Out. It’s a slow slog to get there, but it is overall worth it. This won’t end up being my favourite film of the year, not even close, but it is one I will tell people to watch if they are fans of the genre. It’s very low on jump scares, relying more on tension and atmosphere. It’s directly brilliantly (with some pretty good music choices), and I’m glad to see the horror is mostly from humanity rather than demons (which usually results in scares which are just “thing jumps at the screen but it turns out to not be real”). I do want to see a sweet friendship-based road trip dramedy starring Sydney Sweeney and Benetta Procaroli though, they bounce off each other very well and it would be a shame to waste that chemistry.

Mothers’ Instinct (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Housewives Alice and Celine are best friends and neighbours who seem to have it all. However, when a tragic accident shatters the harmony of their lives, guilt, suspicion and paranoia begin to unravel their sisterly bond

Anne Hathaway is quite good, isn’t she? I know that it might come as a shock that a multiple award-winning actress is quite good at this whole “acting” thing, but it must be said. She’s a big part of why Mothers’ Instinct works. She plays Celine as somebody of whom you’re never quite sure of her intentions. She is either a cold-hearted manipulative woman who is trying to gaslight Alice into madness and steal her family, or she’s just a grieving mother who is doing her best to cope with an unimaginable loss? It’s not so much that flits between the two depending on the scene, it’s that at all times she could conceivably be any one of them. I’d be interested in watching it twice again, each time focusing on assuming a different thing.

Actually, that’s a lie, I’m not interested in watching this again. As good as this Mothers’ Instinct is (and it is finely crafted), nothing about it really warrants a second watch. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but like a lot of films based around a mystery or possible misunderstanding, once you realise the truth, is there much left to it?

As I said, this was directed by Benoît Delhomme. Obviously not the first time the name “Benoit” has been associated with dead children. Delhomme has a history in cinematography, with this being his directorial debut. He does a really good job. There are some very interesting shot choices, his use of angles to suggest uncertainty is brilliant. It’s a really basic trick, but he utilises it perfectly.

Unlike a lot of thrillers/horrors, the majority of this movie takes place during the day. Lit by natural sunlight, small lamps, and of course, a lot of gaslighting. The original film Duelles took the modern setting of the original book (Derrière la haine) and changed the setting to the ’60s. That time change has been kept in this English language version, and it suits the themes perfectly. There are so many moments that wouldn’t be as effective if it was set in a modern age. It would still work, but it hits more when every character is repressed by the time period they are living in. You don’t need to ask why they’re not doing certain things, because “they’re women in the 60s, and that’s just not done” is there. I listen to a podcast called How To Survive, which deals with how to survive (hey, that’s where they get the title) in certain films, usually horror. I highly doubt they are going to cover this, but if they did, then I imagine it would just come down to a single word: therapy. It’s mentioned that Alice has had issues with mental health in the past, to the point of being briefly institutionalised, but never being allowed to talk about it. Celine is clearly going through some shit and NEEDS someone to talk to. But since her friends are abandoning her because everybody finds it too awkward. At one point, she is flat-out told “You shouldn’t be here, your presence is making everyone sad”. The characters are clearly all broken, which fuels their paranoia and decisions. So in a way, there is no good, there is no evil, and the real villain is trauma. But in another, more accurate way, the villain is the person who killed a bunch of people.

I still can’t figure out why I didn’t love this movie. It had a good story, great performances, and it was very well made. But it never quite warmed its way into my heart. It’s technically brilliant, but colder than a British summer before global warming. It’s a bit like its own main characters; constantly unsure of itself, constantly figuring itself out whilst it waits to find its footing. It’s a very easy film to be impressed by, a very easy film to praise, but it’s a very difficult film to be excited about. That’s its main problem.

2023 Film Awards Day Four: The Everything

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Most Surprising

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish
I expected this to be quite banal. Probably because my memories of the Shrek franchise have been tainted by how bad the sequels were, and the glut of poor imitations consisting of animated characters making pop culture references that date very quickly. So it’s a surprise that this was actually pretty damn decent. It had an actual plot, a genuinely disturbing villain, and a whistled tune which easily rivals the one from The Hunger Games. Not many kids’ films would dare do something based around the inevitability of death, and I doubt many would be able to do it as well as was done here.
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret
I am fully aware that I am not the target audience for a film like this. And not just because I’m English and the Judy Blume books aren’t really a thing over here. There is a trend for cynical films lately, and if they decided to go that route then it would lead to somewhere terrible; Doncaster, or disaster, probably disaster. Cynicism would ruin this, I was won over by just how utterly charming it is, and if it was aimed at a more cynical audience you would have lost the warmth that makes it unique. I went in expecting to have to add a caveat to a positive review. You know, something like “It’s good for what it is”. But it’s not just good for what it is, it’s just good.
The Creator
This is a case of a film you watch, and then you’re surprised afterwards. You remember the incredible action scenes, the magical special effects, and how it perfectly blended CGI with real footage. You then remember it was done on a minuscule budget, and your head explodes. I can only assume Edwards made a deal with the devil to get this looking as good as it does. That’s the most logical explanation.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
This could have gotten away with being a bit shit and it still would have had an audience, the Michael Bay feels have proven that. Also, this is aimed at kids, so it could have just been loud noises and stupid characters, the success of Minions has proven that. What it didn’t need to be was quite as weird as it is. It didn’t need to be as original as this was or try to do as much as it does. It would have been so easy for the studio to just do a low-effort piece of shit, keep everything the same, and watch the money. They take real risks with this, the big one being not having the iconic villains from the show in. No Krang or Shredder, they’ve been held off for the inevitable sequel, and I can’t wait.
Barbie
This was in the works for a while. One of the first writers attached to it was Jenny Banks, who has written for Sex And The City and the short-lived sitcom (very short, six episodes) Leap Of Faith, as well as the screenplay for What A Girl Wants. I feel that indicates what kind of film the studio wanted. Something light, fluffy, and kind of disposable. Many years later, after a change of producers, writers, and studio, we have this; one of the most successful films of all time, and it REALLY earns it. The script is razor sharp, with one of the best monologues I’ve ever seen. By the time the trailer came out, people could likely have seen what the final product would be, but when it was announced? Not a damn chance.

Winner

Wonka
Before seeing this, I had seen the trailer multiple times, so I had an idea of what to expect. But I still had a concern that it could end up terrible. Chalamet looked like completely the wrong casting choice, and I was worried that would tank the film. Thankfully, the supporting characters and the INCREDIBLE script mean that when Chalamet isn’t a 9/10, it’s not too bad. Yes, it would have been better if Chalamet wasn’t quite as flat when it comes to singing if he didn’t have the air of someone trying too hard, and if he wasn’t played as basically an idiot. But even with that, the fact that the film itself suffers from the problem of Chalamet, and manages to still be UTTERLY FANTASTIC, says a lot.

Most Disappointing

The Pale Blue Eye
It’s a murder mystery film with Edgar Allen Poe, starring Christian Bale, Timothy Spall, and Toby Jones. It should be incredible. At the very least, it should be memorable. Yet this is nothing. It doesn’t play up the Poe side, he could be replaced by a fictional person and it wouldn’t change the story at all. The mystery isn’t that compelling, and it’s too dull to care about. It’s a shame as the concept is original and you could have had a lot of fun with it by creating something unique and terrifying. Instead, it’s just bland.
65
To quote my original review: “Adam Driver fighting dinosaurs should not be as dull as this”. It would be hard to think of how they could have fumbled this more than they actually did. It makes so many mistakes and misses more shots than I do in a penalty shootout. There’s a spacecraft crash early on, one which kills almost every person on board. We’re not introduced to these people in a meaningful way. So when they all die, and I know this sounds harsh, but we don’t care. It seems like such a basic mistake to make, the film had an opportunity to add emotional meaning, yet didn’t. It seems like a low-budget movie at times, like they cut down on cast to minimise costs etc. Yet its budget was £45million, and I’m not sure how.
A Kind Of Kidnapping
Again (or, as I’ll say later, depending on the order I place these), my interest in this was based on being a huge fan of a sitcom written by the creator. This time, it was How Not Live Your Life, which is a real out-of-nowhere piece of greatness. The trailer made me laugh, and got me thinking this would a sharp and hilarious piece of satire. It’s not, it’s satire which doesn’t really have much to say. Beyond “politicians are shit” it has nothing. Watch the trailer, that’s the whole film. There’s no other twists to further the story (Well there is one mid-plot decision made by two of the characters, but it feels kind of ugly and only exists to get a third-act conflict).
Dumb Money
I was really looking forward to this. I thoroughly enjoyed The Big Short and was hoping this would be similar. It’s not. For one thing, it doesn’t explain things to those who don’t know financing and stock market terms like “shorting”, which makes it almost impenetrable for people who don’t know about it already. The editing feels amateur and like it was made for watching in short bursts on TikTok. There’s a really interesting story somewhere in among the muck, but it’s not being told here.
It’s A Wonderful Knife
I like genre mash-ups, especially when it comes to horror movies. It’s why I love Freaky, Happy Death Day, and Totally Killer. But this? It’s kind of dull. It doesn’t make the most of its premise, probably because it puts the main character in more of a passive role, and attempts to explain how it happened using logic that doesn’t really work. Probably not the worst horror film of the year, but definitely the one with the most wasted potential.
Assassin Club
Sometimes action movies surprise you. Usually by either a unique concept, or being incredibly well-made. This at least gives a unique concept. But completely messes up the execution. Every decision it makes in terms of narrative is the wrong one. I may not have expected something on the same level as John Wick or Polite Society, but I expected something that’s at the very least competent, and it couldn’t even reach that.

Winner

Your Place Or Mine
Yeah, this one’s on me. I wanted to watch this purely because of the writer. Aline Brosh McKenna helped write one of my favourite sitcoms of all time. Despite what my somewhat misanthropic nature would make you think, I’m actually genuinely a huge fan of romantic comedies, mainly because they’re a good showcase for writers. You really get to feel how creative a screenwriter is when they can do something where everybody knows the ending, and do it well enough that you enjoy watching it. So I went in expecting a new favourite romcom, instead, I got something that is at best serviceable. It’s probably not helped by the narrative device meaning that we don’t see the two leads physically interact that much.
This can sometimes work, but I’ve only seen it be exceptional once; in the supremely underappreciated TV show Love Soup. This isn’t Love Soup, at best, it’s “I Like You As A Friend” Toast

I Don’t Get It

Asteroid City (RT Score: 75%)
It’s possible I just don’t like Wes Anderson’s style. It feels too fake, there’s nothing for me to cling to. I also find them a bit pretentious. I know some people love them, but they leave me emotionally cold. The only exceptions so far are Fantastic Mr. Fox and Isle Of Dogs. People watch them and they see beautiful visuals and quirky characters, all I see are a bunch of characters speaking unnaturally and lacking individual personalities. Felt the same about French Dispatch.
Dream Scenario (RT Score: 92%)
This is annoying as I wanted to enjoy this. To the point where I even went to a preview showing of it. It’s a great concept, but it’s incredibly unfocused. Is it attacking cancel culture? Memes? The capitalist desire to exploit wonder for adverts? It attempts to talk about all of them and ends up not discussing any of them. I love weird things (probably because I am a weird thing), and Nicholas Cage is entertaining as hell. It looks good and has some really good supporting performances. It’s just, how can I put this in a way that makes sense? The only way I can describe it is like this: it’s like when you’re English and watching an American sitcom and you hear jokes about certain basketball players or shops, you sit there like “I’m sure I’d appreciate that if I got the reference”. 
Dumb Money (RT Score: 84%)
It’s possible I’d like this more if I hadn’t watched The Big Short, but since I have, comparisons between the two are inevitable, and there’s not a single area in which this is preferable. It is a shame, as on its own it’s a 5/10, but in a universe where a better version exists; it’s knocked down severely. Everything in it has been done better, and recently. Even the song choices.
Ferrari (RT Score: 72%)
I just didn’t give a shit about the main character. So when things started going well, I was displeased. I didn’t want him to be happy, I didn’t want him to win. I was actively rooting against him.
Pearl (RT Score: 93%)
Similar to the Asteroid City one, this might just be that I don’t like the directors’ style. Outside of the style, I felt it didn’t have a lot for me to be interested in. The visuals and performances were great, no doubt about that. But I didn’t vibe with the script.

Winner

Thanksgiving (RT Score: 84%)
My feelings about this can basically be summed up as: Too Bleak, Stopped Caring. I didn’t care about these people, and the world they were living in didn’t inspire any need to care.

Well I Liked It

Next Goal Wins (RT Score: 45%)
This isn’t an essential watch, but it is very good. It’s not going to change the world, but I’m not sure it’s supposed to. It’s supposed to just entertain you, and tell a really unique story. It’s also very sweet, with genuine heart. I’m not sure what else audiences were expecting.
The Creator (RT Score: 67%)
That score genuinely baffles me. I’d have thought critics would love this. It’s one of the best-made films I’ve ever seen. Yes, it lacks some personality, but it’s beautiful and stunning. John David Washington gives a great performance. Has a fantastic opening, and says a lot about humanity.

Winner

The Marvels (RT Score: 62%)
Is this the best Marvel film? No, but it is an utter delight. I think part of the low score might be because people are generally tired of the MCU at this point. On it’s own merits, it’s a fun and entertaining watch. Despite what the scores say, there is no way this is a worse film than Black Widow. It’s funnier, has a better story, better dialogue, better performances. The only thing Black Widow has over The Marvels is more skintight costumes. Oh, yeah I just figured out the discrepancy.

Most “Me”

Bottoms
Violent, sexual, and with a personal political point to make. Spoilers, but this isn’t going to end up winning the best film award here, but it is the one I’ve told the most people about. This is all very me, and unlike a lot of films I describe like that, this also has a mass appeal. This pleases me, because it means that despite me not being the target market for it, it does make me feel like there’s a place for me in this world.
Scrapper
A remarkable film and hopefully leads to great things for Lola Campbell and Charlotte Regan. I hope they work together again, but I’m sure even if they don’t then they’re going to do something incredible. They’ve already done something very good. It’s incredibly funny, and the dialogue makes me jealous that I didn’t write it.

Winner

Totally Killer
At this point, even I’ve realised that it’s kind of odd that so many of the films in this category have female leads. Maybe the suspicions people have about me are true. I should probably speak to someone about that. Anyway, back to the point. Totally Killer is essentially Back To The Future as a horror movie. That concept alone is very me, but the execution is damn near perfect. Subversive, smart, and damn entertaining.

Worst Movie

Nominees: Everything here

Winner

Assassin Club
Some of these awards are difficult. So I’m very happy that films like Assassin Club make it easy. Within ten minutes I realised this was a lock for worst film. Not just of the year, but one of the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s diabolical. Nothing about it works. I know opinions are subjective, but if someone I know said they enjoyed this film, I would judge them.

Best Movie

Nominees: Everything here

Winner

Past Lives
This was the most difficult one. For most of the year, Missing was the winner for this. But the more I thought about it the more I graduated towards Past Lives. Missing was great, a fantastic script and amazing performances. But Past Lives was magical. It’s the cinematic equivalent of floating through something ethereal. Even months after I watched it I still occasionally get moments where I flash back to that floating feeling I got watching it.

2023 Film Awards Day Two: The Components

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Best Script

Bottoms
I loved how it balanced the “wtf” nature that exists in the world of this film, whilst also being deeply serious and personal. I was more forgiving of issues with this than other films because it felt like it took place in a strange universe. Like Black Books or Green Wing. So there was a certain amount of “well that makes no sense. But fuck it”. Normally, that approach like that would feel like a cop-out, but it genuinely works here. Plus, I can guarantee this is some sexually confused 15-year-old autistic kids’ new obsession that will change their lives, and the world needs more films like that. This is going to be a film that changes someone’s life, and it’s REALLY funny too.
Missing
Long-followers (or anybody who has spoken to me for more than a few minutes) will know that I LOVED Searching. So I was always going to enjoy a thematic sequel. The brilliance of this is almost entirely down to how well-scripted it is. Yes, the computer screen gimmick helps, and the performances are great. But you could make it a normal film and would still work, could replace the performances and might still work, but it’s the script that turns something good into something great. It’s so damn well plotted. Just when you think you know the answer, it changes the question. You go through thinking “Well obviously this is the case”, then five minutes later the film proves you wrong. It’s a script made of a thousand threads, and every single one is expertly crafted.

Winner

Rye Lane
Despite what my somewhat cynical nature would make you believe, I do genuinely love a good rom-com. And this is a good one. A lot of that is down to the performances, but the script makes their job slightly easier. The two characters are likeable, and the meet-cute actually feels real. A lot of times that moment feels a bit too “written”, but it feels genuine in this like it was an actual moment which could lead to two people falling for each other. The key point is that you actually want the two people to end up together. You feel emotionally invested, and that’s all down to how real the script makes the characters seem.

Best Looking

A Man Called Otto
Mainly because there’s a BEAUTIFUL seasonal transition shot. The rest of the film looks pretty standard, but that one shot is so damn good.
All Quiet On The Western Front
Some absolutely stunning shots. The visuals really help make you feel that you’re there. Usually, films like this have a tendency to be just a mesh of brown and grey. This adds moments of colour, and everything is so clear there’s zero washout.
Barbie
For a lot of these, I’ll be talking about how they made everything look real. Barbie, I’ll be doing the opposite. A lot of care went into making the world look fake. It reminded me of Game Night, where the establishing shots etc were shot in such a way that the houses kind of looked like game pieces. Everything here looked like a dollhouse world. Not just the obvious (colour schemes etc), but the way things are sized too. They obviously had a blast with the visuals, and it’s all the better for it.
Creed 3
I loved the fights in the first Creed movie. The way the camera weaved between the participants really helped sell the damage being done. This approaches it differently. It makes it less realistic, and more philosophical. So it really gets you inside their heads, letting you know the pressure they’re under, how alone they feel, how completely drained they are. It’s a risky strategy, but it really pays off.
John Wick: Chapter 4
You always get innovative fight scenes in this franchise. But this entry went a bit different; shooting one as if it was a video game, moving over walls and with constant motion. It all looks so effortless too.
Oppenheimer
Obviously, this was going to be listed here. They recreated a nuclear detonation with minimal to no CGI. Everything is building up to that moment, so if the explosion sucked then the whole film would be ruined. But that crazy bastard pulled it off.
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
I loved how the different animation styles meshed with each other. All the different Spider-verses FEEL different and unique in how they’re animated. There’s so much effort into differentiating them, and it really pays off.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
The script itself was created with no love for the source, with all the references being surface level and nothing more than “this is a thing in the games”. But the visuals? They were done with love. Background graffiti and road signs are full of references. The music may be meh, the voice acting bland, and the plot a bit dull, but the sheer love that went into creating the visuals means watching this film isn’t a total loss.

Winner

The Creator
Obviously, it was going to be this.  I don’t know how Gareth Edwards managed it on such a small budget but I can only assume witchcraft. It looks incredible, absolutely astounding. There are zero moments where it doesn’t look real (although there is one moment where the geography of the scene could be improved to help clarify things). Considering the amount of effects etc. that must be needed for this to work; that truly is a testament to the talent of Edwards and his team.

Best Performance

Aftersun – Paul Mescal
Everything is subtext. Calum is so damn well written. He’s a father who is suffering from depression, but is doing his best to hide it from his daughter. Mescal has to carry all of that nuance. He doesn’t get to explain it, doesn’t get anybody else to explain it, it’s all hidden under the surface. It would be easy for it to be too obvious, too surface-level. I kind of feel you need to have mental health issues to be able to see the signs. I don’t think some people will understand it, but those who do get it, will GET it.
Apocalypse Clown – Natalie Palamides
Her character, as written, is already the highlight of the film, but her physicality is tremendous. Even the way she eats ham is notable. She is never not “on”.
Barbie – America Ferrera
A performer who was sorely underrepresented in the marketing. She’s the straight performer in a world of comedy, so it would be easy for her to be overshadowed by people who could go further. Without Ferrera, the film risks coming off as too wacky and silly, making it feel like nothing has consequences. She provides it with enough seriousness that you buy it as real, even when it goes batshit weird.
Haunted Mansion – Lakeith Stanfield
I genuinely believe he’s one of the best all-rounders the industry has; a face that suits magazine covers, the perfect voice for audiobooks, plus the ability to deliver an incredibly powerful monologue that will bring you to tears. Everyone else is acting like they’re in a Disney movie, all overly expressive and aimed towards a mass audience. That’s fine, that’s really all you need in a film like this. But Stanfield? He performs like he’s in an Oscar-bait drama.
M3gan – Amie Donald
Her physicality is amazing. Her movement enters uncanny valley territory. She’s under 15 years old and has more physical awareness than people who have been in the industry longer than she’s been alive. I hope this doesn’t lead to her constantly being cast as a horror movie monster wearing a mask so you can’t tell it’s her. Yes, her character is an inhuman robotic killer, but it’s the slight fluidity that Amie adds to it that helps sell the character.
Missing – Storm Reid
I’m not that familiar with her, having only seen her in small roles before. But she carries this brilliantly. There’s a lot for her to do too, she has to be a cocky teenager, but one whose mother has gone missing so she’s worried about her (whilst also being competent enough to try and solve it). So she needs to somehow convey both “I know everything” and “I need an adult”. That’s difficult to do in a supporting role, but as a lead, it’s tricky to do and remain convincing. She has great facial expressions, to the point where there’s so much unsaid dialogue in this.
Oppenheimer – Cillian Murphy
There’s not much I could add here which hasn’t been said many times before. So I’m not going to.
The Whale – Sadie Sink
I know Fraser has a lot of love for his performance in this. But I kind of think that Sadie did more. In the future, she’s going to do something that will make everybody notice her, she is that damn good. Fraser can kind of hide behind his prosthetics and physical performance, whereas Sadie has to lay it all on the line, shedding every single layer of vulnerability. Her character could be better written, more consistent, but her performance is damn fine.
We Have A Ghost – David Harbour
Mainly because he does the whole thing without saying a word. He is one of those actors that even when he’s in bad films (such as Gran Turismo), he’s usually the best part, and never the cause. We Have A Ghost is an average movie, deserving of its place on Netflix instead of physical media. But Harbour, and everything he does, could not be improved.

Winner

Killers Of A Flower Moon – Lily Gladstone
It’s not an understatement to say that her performance is the beating heart of this movie. She has so much to do and does it brilliantly. An example of how great her performance was; she’s in a film with DiCaprio, DeNiro, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser fresh off The Whale, and Jesse Plemons. Yet who was everybody talking about? Lily Gladstone. She didn’t just hold her own against acting heavyweights, she overshadowed them.

Best Character

Aftersun – Calum
The stuff I mentioned in the Best Actor part? All applies here too. It’s a fantastic mix of a well-written character being played by the best person possible.
Barbie – Ken
It feels weird saying that. It’s a feminist AF film, female director etc. Yet the most entertaining character is the dude. That feels wrong somehow. His character does run the risk of being slightly incel at times, but he redeems himself with his rejection of what we would deem standard masculinity. His arc isn’t about finding a girl, it’s about finding himself. It’s essentially the same as the main character from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, just with less depression.
Bottoms – Hazel
The other characters are great too. But I absolutely adored Hazel. I was discussing this movie with someone and she said this: “I’m concerned that I would actually sell my soul to protect Nicholas Galitzine. I don’t want to date him at all, just protect him”. That’s exactly how I feel about the character of Hazel
Creed 3/John Wick 4 – The Title Characters
This has to be the end of that franchise. The characters have reached the natural end of their story. Both of these two are similar, they have back stories I’d like to see more of, but their current story has definitely ended. They went out on a high too. It’s been good to see these characters develop across the movies, letting us live in their worlds for a moment. I’m sad there’s no more, but I’m glad I got to see every single entry in both franchises in the cinema.
Holy Spider – Saeed Azimi
He’s not sympathetic or likeable in the slightest, but he is sincere, and you do understand how he got to his point of view, even if it is sociopathic and deplorable. It’s key that the character doesn’t seem to be getting pleasure from this. He seems genuinely disgusted with himself for having to be near the women he’s killing. This really helps him feel genuine. He is terrifying, even when he’s just being an everyday family man. There’s a moment where the veil slips when he has an outburst in front of his family and stops being the kind loving family man. What’s very telling is how his family react. They’re scared, but not surprised. So they know he has the capacity for violence; just maybe not to the full extent of it.
Joy Ride – Deadeye
I mean, she’s clearly autistic, right? But crucially, not to the point of parody or cruelty. It’s weird, this is a film about identity and finding your family. Yet the most emotional part belongs to Deadeye thinking she’s been abandoned by her online friends. You just break, it’s incredibly emotional, but it wouldn’t be if you didn’t like the character.
Polite Society – Ria Khan
It would be so easy for her to come off as a whiny entitled brat with delusions. But every decision she makes makes sense. When she sneaks into the men’s locker room to go through a phone? Makes sense with what we know about the character so far. She feels like a real person and we’re just getting a snapshot of her life. She also gets to be a character who’s not just a damsel in distress, which is still depressingly rare for young female characters. The representation is great to see, but even without that, Ria is still an important character because she’s just so damn likeable and funny.
The Marvels – Kamala Khan
Fuck the critics, she is adorable. Her squee nature makes sense too, she is a fangirl getting the chance to work with her idols. Of course she’d be overwhelmed. She’s the only one not trying to put on a tough front, it makes her very human.

Winner

Godzilla: Minus One – Kōichi Shikishima
A failed kamikaze pilot haunted not just by his actions in the war (feigning mechanical issues to get out of his duty. I mean, his duties were to kill himself so I get it) and by his behaviour in the first Godzilla attack. He’s a man haunted by guilt and regret, someone who spends the entire time needing to prove himself. That defines so many of his actions. His refusal to openly return Noriko’s feelings comes from a belief that he doesn’t deserve happiness. This is what makes Godzilla movies work, and why so many adaptations get it wrong. It’s not about the monster, it’s about the humans. Throughout this, you want Koichi to succeed and find happiness, he’s a PTSD-haunted man in a society which doesn’t think PTSD is a thing.

Best Couple/Double Act

Aftersun – Calum/Sophie (Paul Mescal/Frankie Corio)
Aftersun would not have worked if the relationship between the two leads felt fake. It’s difficult for two adults to fake a familial relationship, let alone an adult and a child actor. Yet you never doubt the sincerity between the two. They genuinely feel like father and daughter, which is a testament to the talent of both Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio, as well as whoever made the decision that the two of them should spend time at a holiday resort in Turkey during rehearsals.
Barbie – Barbie/Ken (Margot Robbie/Ryan Babygoose)
They play off each other perfectly, both in characters and in performance. Barbie is weird, and Ken has to match that Kenergy throughout so that she seems logical. Surprisingly this is only the second film the two actors have starred in together, and I don’t even think they shared any scenes in the other one (The Big Short). A smart movie studio would book these two together in more things. A dumb studio would greenlight a bunch of movies based on toys. Fucking Warner Bros are useless.
It’s A Wonderful Knife – Winnie/Bernie (Jane Widdop/Jess McLeod)
The rest of the film is nothing to write home about, but the chemistry between these two performers is a delight. I would love to see these two in a romantic comedy. The chemistry between the two performers was so good that it actually changed the story. I love when that happens, and it would have been stupid of them not to do that.
M3gan – M3gan/Cady – Amie Donald/Violet McGraw
For this to work, you need to believe that Cady doesn’t think of M3gan as a robot. Otherwise, it would just be like “Why is that small child so friendly with a calculator?”. You need to believe that they have a friendship that goes beyond a child and her computer. You can easily believe that these two are friends, so it all works.
Quiz Lady – Anne/Jenny (Awkafina/Sandra Oh)
They have really great chemistry, to the point where it is easy to buy them as siblings. They’re helped by a script full of moments which showcase how much Jenny really does care for her sister Anne. They’re both playing against type, and if both of them aren’t perfect it doesn’t work. I adore how familiar the two performers feel with each other, and it’s the linchpin the film is based around.
Rye Lane – Dom/Yas (David Jonsson/Vivian Oparah)
Watching the two interact, you’d assume they’d worked together a lot before, nope. Every moment between the two makes you want to see more. They’re so natural together, that weirdly, it kind of hurts the film. Because of how natural a couple the two make, the argument between the two doesn’t ring true. You don’t think a perfect couple like that could be split by something that small. A small niggle though. Without that chemistry, a lot of the best moments would feel forced. I don’t say this often for a rom-com, but I want to see these characters again, maybe in a TV show following the two down the line.
Scrapper – Georgie/Jason (Lola Campbell/Harris Dickinson)
There’s a fun playfulness between the two, but it’s a playfulness filled with uncertainty and quiet mistrust. They do like each other, and we do see moments of him being a caring dad, but you are always aware that they don’t actually know each other. Every moment of warmth is played with the undercurrent of knowing that Georgie hasn’t forgiven her dad for walking out on her.

Winner

Past Lives – Nora/Hae (Greta Lee/Teo Yoo)
A couple that is not a couple when the film starts, and isn’t one when the film ends. But they mesh so well together. Past Lives received a lot of positive attention in the industry, with heavyweights like Christopher Nolan naming it as one of his favourite films. I have to believe a small part of that is the undeniable chemistry that the two actors share, and how well-written their characters are. Going in, you know how this is ending, but you have that small flicker of hope that you’re wrong.

2023 In Film: Day Ten (The Amazeballs)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Barbie

Ups: Very funny

Depressingly relevant

Creative

Unique look

Downs: The final third is a little messy.

A lot of the supporting actors are wasted.

It’s going to lead to studios learning the wrong lesson. They’re going to think “let’s make movies based on toys”, rather than “let’s have movies which are well written”.

Best Moment: America Ferrara’s monologue about womanhood. Absolute perfection.

Worst Moment: The chase scene in the office is a bit drab.

Best Performer: Ryan Gosling. Robbie is good, but if she didn’t have Gosling to bounce off, it wouldn’t work.

Opening: Essentially 2001: A Space Odyssey but with Barbie instead of a monolith, showcasing how she was the first doll that wasn’t a baby. The kids respond to this by throwing away their old dolls. Somehow, this was described in at least one review/commentator as “children say they want to kill all babies and then massacre them”.

Closing: Barbie goes to a gynaecologist. Again, some reviewers misconstrued this scene and said it was her “getting a sex change/having an abortion”. This is why media literacy is important, it stops idiots. It could have ended slightly more powerfully than it does, but it works.

Best Line: The aforementioned monologue.

Original Review here

Bottoms

Ups: Hilarious.

In your face.

Fun performances.

Downs: They never really feel like outcasts. They say “We’re at the bottom” but it never feels like it.

More could be done to set up the school rivalry.

The dickhead jocks never get their comeuppance

The use of music at some points could be better

Best Moment: The final fight. Violent, stylistic brilliance.

Worst Moment: The falling out between the characters feels a little fake.

Best Performer: Ruby Cruz

Opening: The main characters at a fair. Sets up their characters well enough, gets some jokes out the way quickly too.

Closing: A tree bomb explodes, disappointing a local goth who is displeased about the gimmick infringement. Such a hilarious coda.

Best Line: “Let’s do terrorism”

Original Review here

Godzilla Minus One:

Ups: Visually stunning.

Has a purpose.

Mature.

Godzilla is terrifying.

Compelling story.

Downs: Bit too unsubtle.

There are a few moments where the effects are a bit too “man in suit”.

Hard to see it appealing to casual movie-goers

Best Moment: The attack on Ginza. Especially when it ends on a nuclear explosion.

Worst Moment: Shikishima receives a telegram, only because it kind of telegraphs the ending.

Best Performer: Ryunosuke Kamiki.

Opening: Godzilla attacks an island. I like that we got to see him early, and the scene is BRUTAL. This is not a monster who is aiming for balance etc, this is one that wants to kill humans.

Closing: Godzilla flesh starts to mutate. I really hope we get a sequel.

Best Line: Is your war finally over?

Original Review here

John Wick: Chapter 4

Ups: Some great fight scenes.

Donnie F’ing Yen

Keanu Reeves continues to kill it.

Good world-building

Downs: Bit too long.

Requires you to remember too much from the previous films.

Lacking “THAT” scene.

Best Moment: John in a hotel. Mainly because of how it’s weirdly shot and I loved it. Was like a video game at times.

Worst Moment: The Continental being destroyed could have been done better.

Best Performer: Keanu Reeves

Opening: John travels to Morocco and kills the elder. Unless you’ve seen (and can remember) the previous films; this meant nothing.

Closing: It ends the only way it could. The place it’s been heading to since the first film.

Best Line: “You arrogant asshole”.

Original Review here

Missing

Ups: Very original idea.

Ties into Searching brilliantly.

Incredible twists and turns.

Great performances.

Rewards a second viewing

Downs: The gimmick will be hated by some people.

Best Moment: The twist, it’s so good.

Worst Moment: There’s a death which seems out of place.

Best Performer: Storm Reid

Opening: Camera footage of a 6-year-old June with her father James, who died shortly after the video was made. Very good, and when you learn the context later, so much better.

Closing: The story has been adapted into a Netflix show. Weirdly funny and feels so true.

Original Review here

Past Lives

Ups: Very sweet.

If you let yourself into it, it opens itself up to you beautifully.

Stunning shots.

The leads have great chemistry.

Downs: Might be a bit too slow for some.

Not much happens.

Best Moment: The diner scene, it says so much about the relationship between the three.

Worst Moment: The title drop, seems like it was only there to get the title in.

Best Performer: Teo Yoo

Opening: The two main characters meet as children before leaving each other. Very sweet.

Closing: Essentially “we’ll see what happens in the next life”.

Best Line: You make my world so much bigger and I’m wondering if I do the same for you?

Original Review here

Polite Society

Ups: Great twist

Fun fight scenes.

Likeable characters

Good performances

Downs: The twist may put people off

As good as the stunt scenes are, there are none that stand out as “best scene ever”

Best Moment: Torture wax.

Worst Moment: The school fight scene might be a bit too silly for some.

Best Performer: Priya Kansara

Opening: She introduces herself, fun, and gets her character across well.

Closing: Not saying, the entire final third of this is a huge head-fuck, I love it.

Best Line: The gods whispered to the warrior, ‘You will not withstand the fury.’ The warrior whispers back, ‘I am the fury!’

Original Review here

Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse

Ups: The animation.

Best use of the multiverse in cinema this year (ordinarily that would be damning with faint praise, but lately?)

Has one of the best villains in superhero movie history

The different Spider-men are all great

Emotional

Downs: The soundtrack isn’t as memorable as the first one.

Ends on a cliffhanger

The studio treated the animators like dicks apparently.

Best Moment: The explanation of canon events.

Worst Moment: About 5 minutes from the end where you realise they don’t have enough time to wrap the stories up.

Best Performer: Shameik Moore.

Opening: Gwen Stacy fights a version of the Vulture from a universe made to look like an Italian Renaissance painting. Visually interesting, and very cool. But some people might have preferred it to start with Spider-Man

Closing: Miles is in trouble, and Gwen is establishing a team.

Best Line: Almost everything Hobie said

Original Review here

2023 In Film: Day Nine (The Almost Amazing)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Aftersun

Ups: So many sweet moments.

So very sweet

Nostalgic

Downs: A lot happens off-camera and goes unsaid, which some people might not like.

Some shots could linger a bit longer

Could do more with the present-day sequences.

Best Moment: The Losing My Religion scene does a lot for something so simple.

Worst Moment: When the dad is talking about his 11th birthday. It’s a very poignant scene, but I don’t like how it was shot. I get why Charlotte Wells did that, but it just didn’t work for me.

Best Performer: This is tough. Both leads are perfect. Ordinarily, I’d give it to Frankie Corio because Paul Mescal got enough attention, and I’m always more impressed by a younger performer. But I’m going to break from tradition and give it to Paul Mescal because of how much depth he has to give every scene. He’s not just a dad, he’s a dad who is trying to give his daughter a memorable holiday while he’s suffering from depression.

Opening: Home video of the dad dancing, being recorded by his 11-year-old daughter. We know this as she points out her age, which is a very smart way of getting her age out there. The footage then freezes and starts going weird. Artfully done. It did make me think the whole film would be found-footage style.

Closing: Calum says goodbye to Sophie at the airport then shuts the camera off. I know that sounds boring and meaningless, but in the context of this, it’s incredibly powerful and will bring a tear to your eye. Then a slow pan of the room current Sophie is in as she watches the videos.

Best Line: “I just feel a bit down or something. Don’t you ever feel like you’ve just done a whole amazing day and then you come home and you feel tired and down and it feels like your bones don’t work. They’re just tired and everything is tired. Like you’re sinking”

Original Review here

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret

Ups: Very sweet.

This could so easily be creepy, but is skillfully directed so that it’s not.

Funny.

Surprisingly timely

Good performances.

Downs: Will put off certain audiences.

Changes a few things from the book which might annoy some people.

Best Moment: When she finally speaks to Laura. Very sweet and allows Laura to showcase her character more.

Worst Moment: The grandparents visiting doesn’t seem to do that much in the script.

Best Performer: Abby Ryder Forston

Opening: Margaret gets back from camp and finds out she’s moving house. It might have been nice to see more of her settled before the move, as at the moment all we see is “moving anxious Margaret”

Closing: She gets her period.

Best Line: I’ve been looking for you, God. I looked for you in Temple. I looked for you in Church. I didn’t feel you at all. Why? Why, God? Why do I only feel you when I’m alone?

Original Review here

Creed 3

Ups: Better fight/action scenes than some big-budget blockbusters

Emotional

Compelling story.

Downs: Rushed middle section.

We don’t get to see Damian as the champ (or the reaction to him)

Best Moment: The final fight. Incredibly creative with how it’s shot. Really helps you understand what being in that situation is like.

Worst Moment: The shop theft. It’s a good moment, but it’s repeated too much.

Best Performer: Phylicia Rashad.

Opening: Flashback to a young Adonis Creed watching his friend Damian win a boxing match, then Adonis beats the crap out of some guy. Gets you hooked in, lets you know of the characters’ relationship etc. But it’s a little hollow. There’s nothing gained from watching the moment again, it’s all very surface-level.

Closing: Adonis boxes with his daughter. It’s a very sweet moment but I feel that relationship could have been fleshed out a tiny bit more.

Best Line: The higher you get, the harder it gets.

Original Review here

Scrapper

Ups: Great performances

Likeable characters

Funny

It’s nice to see a British working-class movie where people are happy.

Probably the most creatively shot movie of the year

Downs: It’s a bit strange that nobody at the school questions the fact that her uncle is called Winston Churchill, or how she’s paying for everything. She is shown making some money, but will that be enough to cover all bills?

Characters don’t develop that much.

It doesn’t feel like some of the characters are taking the situation as seriously as they should.

Best Moment: When Georgie and her dad play a game at a train station where they imagine what other people on the station are saying. They do this for a few minutes before someone on the other side says “we can hear you, you know”.

Worst Moment: The revealing voicemail, feels slightly underwhelming.

Best Performer: Lola Campbell

Opening: An almost empty house, and Georgie marking off where she is on the stages of grief chart.

Closing: The two enter a truce to get to know each other. Sweet, but could be better. It’s not helped by the fact the conflict between them doesn’t feel that divisive.

Best Line: “we were just making sure all these bikes are road safe. Oh, yours isn’t by the way” A great demonstration of her quick thinking but also her childish nature that she thinks it will work. I mean, it does, but still.

Original Review here

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Ups: Looks fantastic.

Funny.

Great anarchic energy.

Downs: The constant pop culture references can get tired quickly.

If it’s not followed up then it will be a huge disappointment

Best Moment: The “What’s Up” scene.

Worst Moment: The horse mutation. Only because it feels really weak compared to the rest of the mutation effects.

Best Performer: Jackie Chan

Opening: The genesis of the turtles. It’s somewhat standard to see a father figure/creator get murdered in the opening of a kids’ movie, but it’s rarely as cruel as it is here.

Closing: The Turtles go to school and get to live out their dreams of being normal teenagers. But Cynthia aims to bring Shredder to defeat them.

Best Line: “Our dads definitely not a giant rat”

“That makes me think he is a rat”

Original Review here

The Blackening

Ups: Hilarious

The characters all feel real

Downs: Needs a better soundtrack

Jermaine Fowler feels a bit out of place.

Could be more violent.

Best Moment: The group answering the question about Friends.

Worst Moment: The reveal. A bit weak and predictable

Best Performer: Grace Byers

Opening: Standard “characters we don’t know get kidnapped/killed” horror opening. It comes back later and is a major plot point so it works.

Closing: The fire department sprays the survivors with a hose. Made me laugh a lot.

Best Line: You got Rosa Parks on your shirt, right? Would she be sitting down right now?

Original review here

Totally Killer

Ups: Her mum actually shows some decent self defence skills. Makes a change from the usual female survivor we see in films like this.

Some really fluid camera work.

Incredibly satirical.

Great soundtrack

Not enough horror movies use Banarama

Kiernan Shipka is actually really good

Downs: The editing is a bit choppy.

The reveal of the first killer would have been better if we knew more about them.

Wastes some potentially interesting ideas.

Best Moment: There’s an action scene on a centrifugal force fairground ride. Haven’t seen anything like it before and it’s incredibly creative.

Worst Moment: Conversation with her and her mother at the start, mainly because of the editing.

Best Performer: Kiernan Shipka

Opening: Narration setting up the story of the original murders, we don’t see the murders, but we do see the crime scene reconstruction. An effective way of doing a scene like this on a low budget and not having it come off as cheap.

Closing: Lauren hands over a notebook listing all the things which are different because of the time travel. Really cool and a way to do the “what happened to everybody” cliché in a way that’s original

Best Line: “Just think. Maybe if she did do blow jobs, she’d still be alive.”

“yeah, let’s not make that the lesson”

Opening Review here

Wonka

Ups: Some great jokes.

Looks fantastic.

Sense of playfulness.

If you’re a fan of British comedy then spotting people you recognise becomes the greatest game of “Where’s Wally” ever

Downs: Chalamet can’t really sing like he needs to for this.

Some cast members feel underused.

Best Moment: The “reveal” of the secret ingredient his mum put in chocolate. Yes it’s obvious and trite, but it’s so damn sweet.

Worst Moment: The reveal that he can’t read seems like it’s just there to explain him signing the contract.

Best Performer: Calah Lane, she’s the beating heart of the whole thing.

Opening: Wonka sings a song about his hopes and dreams. Sets the tone perfectly; funny, charming, and weird.

Closing: The factory is built. Meh. But then the credits show what happened to everybody, and it’s done delightfully.

Best Line: May I present, Willy Wonka’s wild and wonderful wishy-washy Wonka walker! Please, don’t make me say that again.

Original Review here

2023 In Film: Day Seven (The Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

A Man Called Otto

Ups: Very sweet.

Genuinely touching at times.

Downs: Tom Hanks doesn’t make a believable grumpy old bastard.

Some characters seem a bit pushy, I’d be annoyed at them too.

Occasionally a bit too “old man yells at cloud” with how it treats younger people.

Best Moment: There’s a seasonal transition that is the most perfect I’ve ever seen. It’s a standard shot that I’ve seen many times. But in this, it’s done so seamlessly (and during a scene in motion) that it stands out.

Worst Moment: Marisol laughs when she finds out Otto nearly died because his heart is too big. I get why it’s funny, the irony of a grumpy person having a big heart etc. But for her to react so openly makes her appear slightly callous.

Best Performer: Mariana Treviňo. Her character could be annoying if played badly, but Mariana plays her with an infectious warmth.

Opening: Otto tries to kill himself. Well, he’s at the shop buying the stuff and gets into an argument. It’s an effective way to demonstrate the character, but again it feels a bit “grrr, young people are useless today” because they’re bound by corporate policies they can’t control. News flash to every person out there; the teenager behind the till at Mcdonald’s is not responsible for the prices or the menu, so don’t yell at them about this, if you do, you’re a prick.

Closing: Otto dies, leaving the house to Marisol and her family. It is very sweet and lovely, although maybe he should have left something to his lifelong neighbour who is about to incur huge medical expenses in the next few years due to an early diagnosis of Parkinson’s.

Best Line: “Your father doesn’t support you just because you’re trans? Then he’s an idiot”. It’s nice that even though the character is fueled mostly by anger, he is still pro-trans rights.

Original Review here

Air

Ups: 2 hours, but doesn’t feel it.

Incredibly well-written.

Downs: There’s no dramatic tension because we know how it ends.

None of the actors feel like they’re pushing themselves.

Distracting amount of swearing at times.

Best Moment: Where Matt Damon is telling Jordan’s parents about how his life will go. How the public will both worship and resent him.

Worst Moment: In that same moment where we find out about his fathers’ death. Such an important part of his future life is underplayed.

Best Performer: Matt Damon

Opening: Nike are nearly closing down their basketball shoe division. It’s weird to think of Nike being shown as an underdog.

Closing: Standard “what happened next”.

Best Line: Damon’s entire speech to Jordan’s parents.

Original Review here

Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania

Ups: Kang looks like a formidable villain for the next stage.

Some good visuals.

Funny

Kathryn Newton is a good addition to te MCU

Downs: M.O.D.O.K

Inconsistent CGI

The MCU REALLY needs to start moving forward.

Best Moment: How Kang gets Scott to help. Spectacularly brutal.

Worst Moment: M.O.D.O.K . Words cannot exaggerate how stupid that looked.

Best Performer: Kathryn Newton

Opening: Opens with Janet meeting Kang. Nice way to get people excited for what’s next.

Closing: Everything is fine, but it might not be. There’s an ominous feeling that Scott can’t shake off.

Best Line: “Oh, you’re an Avenger. Have I killed you before? They all blend together after a while.” Really sells Kang as a threat.

Original Review here

Champions

Ups: Funny.

Has more heart than you’d expect

Surprisingly subversive at times.

Actually cast actors with Down syndrome.

Downs: Doesn’t have that little extra something to make it stand out

Too predictable at times.

May come across as patronising to some.

Best Moment: When we find out why Darius won’t play for Marcus. Some great character stuff.

Worst Moment: The NBA coaching sub-plot

Best Performer: Madison Tevlin

Opening: Marcus gets fired from his job after shoving his boss. Good way of showcasing both his talent and his anger issues.

Closing: A chumbawamba sing-along. Fun.

Best Line: Your heart’s a long way from your knee. Suck it up!

Original Review here

Elemental

Ups: Very sweet.

Good pacing

Downs: I get what they’re going for, but if you’re pushing a story about tolerance, maybe don’t have one of the people involved be a constant threat to the other one. “People who are different from you can kill you” may give out the wrong intention.

The music is a little weak.

Very predictable story.

Best Moment: When Ember is taken to see a flower, incredibly sweet and gorgeous to look at.

Worst Moment: The whole leak sub-plot feels first draft.

Best Performer: Mamoudou Athie

Opening: Bernie and Cinder move to Element City. Very cute, but nowhere near as good as similar scenes you’ve seen before.

Closing: Wade and Ember move to a different city. Again, very predictable, but sweet.

Best Line: The shop was never the dream. You were the dream. You were always the dream

Original Review here

How To Blow Up A Pipeline

Ups: Incredibly important.

Well-written characters

Best website.

Downs: Needs to be shorter.

Weak music

Doesn’t focus on the wider implications as much as it should.

Best Moment: The conversation about what they’re about to do. Feels genuine, and says a lot about how society treats revolutionaries.

Worst Moment: The explosion itself. Its not that it’s bad, it just doesn’t feel like something that everything has been building towards.

Best Performer: Ariela Barer

Opening: A woman is nervously walking down a street, making sure nobody notices when she lets the air out of a tyre. She then places a leaflet on the vehicle explaining why. I checked, and the leaflet is fully typed out. I appreciate that. We then see a small group of other people preparing in different ways; some clone their security cameras, some throw their phones away etc. Very “heist”.

Closing: The pipeline is blown up; a few members of the group take the fall. A very dark ending considering what we know is going to happen to some of them soon.

Best Line: “But by the time the market solution does shit, billions will be dead……we need to start attacking the things that are killing us”.

Original Review here

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish

Ups: Some of the best sound design you’ll see (hear?)

The best Shrek film since the first

Provides a good sense of existential dread for a kids’ film.

Downs: The suitcase of villainy is a bit overpacked.

Two of the voices seem a bit too similar.

The physics doesn’t work sometimes.

Best Moment: The death montage

Worst Moment: The sequel hook.

Best Performer: Harvey Guillen

Opening: Standard fairy-tale opening about wishes. Doesn’t inspire hope.

Closing: A sequel hook. Eugh.

Best Line: “You’re not gonna shoot a puppy, are you?”

“yeah, right in the face. Why?”

Original Review here

Renfield

Ups: Fun

Bloody

Clearly made by people who have researched the mythos

Dracula looms over the film even when he’s not physically in it

Downs: Could go further

Predictable at times.

Needs stronger supporting villains

Best Moment: Renfield disposing of gang members in a restaurant

Worst Moment: The ending.

Best Performer: Awkwafina

Opening: A retelling of the Dracula myth.

Closing: A group of dead people have been brought back to life. Because who wants consequences in their movie?

Best Line: You know when something crazy happens and someone’s like, “It’s okay. I’ve seen way worse?” Everything I saw you do today is gonna be my “way worse.”

Original Review here

Return To Seoul

Ups: Very sweet.

Park is incredible.

Truly emotional.

Cool music, reminds me of 27

Downs: The sound is a bit off at times. Particularly in the restaurant scene. Feels like they forgot to put in background noise for a lot of it.

Given a UK release in the same year as Past Lives

Best Moment: An employee has found her mother. Top work from everybody involved performance-wise. She is never more vulnerable than at that moment.

Worst Moment: When she’s dancing on her own in a bar, it’s written and performed brilliantly. But it’s shot via a lot of close-ups so you don’t really get her sense of social isolation. Not the “worst” moment per se, but the gap between what it could have been and what it is is quite huge.

Best Performer: Ji-Min Park

Opening: K-Pop on headphones being listened to by a hotel worker who is then interrupted by a customer who wants to check into the hotel, rude I know. A quite cute moment between two people ended with “But you’re French!”. Good way of showing her cultural identity and confusion. And it’s a very cute moment between the two characters.

Closing: She sends an e-mail to her mother, getting a “This e-mail address is no longer valid” response.

Best Line: “You’re A Very Sad Person”

Original Review here

Saw X

Ups: Bloody.

Has one of the most despicable characters in the history of the franchise.

More mature than it needs to be.

Rewards patience.

Downs: It’s a prequel, so all sense of tension is gone from certain scenes.

Not as cathartic as other entries

Pointless.

Best Moment: The bone marrow trap is deliciously disgusting.

Worst Moment: The conclusions to most of the traps. They feel too timed-based. So many of them nearly make it and if they were given 5 seconds more would have completed it. This goes against Jigsaws’ modus operandi of testing people; technically they did pass the test and proved how much they were willing to sacrifice, but because they were slightly slower than Jigsaw thought they should be, they die.

Best Performer: Tobin Bell

Opening: Kramer is at a cancer support group. An incredibly mature and bloodless way to start, almost like a proper movie.

Closing: The main villain is left trapped in a room, presumably to die. Shame, she’s truly detestable and it would have been good to actually see her comeuppance rather than just know.

Best Line: This is not retribution. It’s a reawakening.

Original Review here

Scream 6

Ups: It doesn’t miss Sidney as much as you think it would.

New York changes it, turns it into a completely different type of slasher.

Disgustingly brutal kills,

Downs: The online conspiracy that Sam really killed everyone doesn’t ring true.

So Gale can do research on finance records of dead people but isn’t a good enough journalist to realise family connections? BS

Worst reveal in a Scream movie so far.

Gale’s character seems to have relapsed into her Scream 1 version

Best Moment: The subway scene. A perfect use of location.

Worst Moment: The reveal. Have you seen a movie before? Then you’ll be able to guess at least 2 out of the 3 killers. It’s far too obvious.

Best Performer: Melissa Barrera

Opening: A professor is killed by Ghostface, who then immediately unmasks. Genuinely shocked me.

Closing: Somehow everyone survives. That’s a big issue with this film is how unscathed the main characters remain throughout.

Best Line: “Not every movie needs a post-credits scene.” as a post-credits scene

Original Review here

2023 In Film: Day Six (The Fairly Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

These are films I did like, but there were a few things that just put me off needing to see them again anytime soon.

Blue Beetle

Ups: Good performances

Almost every character is a highlight

Unashamedly Latino

Some great body horror moments

Downs: Formulaic story

Some people may be put off by the random non-English parts which aren’t subtitled.

The superhero sections are the weakest parts.

Some strange sound mixing.

Best Moment: The backstory for Carapax.

Worst Moment: The parts involving Rudy on the island at the end. He’s great and played brilliantly. But his parts feel rewritten as it’s difficult to get a good grasp on where he is at certain times.

Best Performer: Adriana Baraza as Nana. Although I’m quite fond of Belissa Escobedo

Opening: Victoria Kord finds the Scarab. A relatively weak opening tbh, “Look, we found a thing” doesn’t launch into “high octane opening credits” as much as the film seems to think it does.

Closing: The neighbours help the family rebuild. Very sweet and wonderful, but it doesn’t really feel earned. We haven’t seen any of the neighbours before so their coming around at the end feels a bit odd. If we met them before or had a sense that the family members helped them it might work better.

Best Line: “Batman’s a fascist!”

Original Review here

Chicken Run: Dawn Of The Nugget

Ups: Some genuinely unsettling scenes.

Downs: Still bitter about recasting.

Best Moment: The eye scanner joke is ridiculously silly and I love it.

Worst Moment: The chase towards the end is sometimes too convenient.

Best Performer: Josie Sedgwick-Davies

Opening: Rocky sums up the first movie. Smart move as it’s been a while. Then we find out where the characters are. Effective way of catching people up, and good character work. Could do with more jokes though

Closing: Everything is fine, the chickens now continue their liberation techniques across the land. Would have been nice to see more of those raids in the credits. Could have had some funny moments.

Best Line: “You can’t right all the world’s wrongs”. Perfectly sums up her character.

Original Review here

Killers Of The Flower Moon

Ups: Incredible performances.

The best ending I’ve seen in a long time.

Beautiful to see.

A story that needs telling.

Downs: Sooooo long.

Some characters are underutilized

Too white-centric

Best Moment: The ending.

Worst Moment: All the “look at this random thing” insertions.

Best Performer: Lily Gladstone

Opening: A quick history of the tribe and how they made their money.

Closing: A standard “what happened to them?” epilogue, created like a radio show. It’s incredibly creative and one of my favourite moments of the year.

Best Line: “” Mrs. Mollie Cobb, 50 years of age, passed away at eleven o’clock Wednesday night in her home. She was a full-blood Osage. She was buried in the old cemetery in Gray Horse beside her father, her mother, her sisters, and her daughter.” There was no mention of the murders””

Original Review here

Next Goal Wins

Ups: Funny

Has genuine heart

Unique story

Downs: Needs more football.

Too many pivotal moments were in the trailer.

Risks coming off as slightly condescending

Best Moment: The daughter reveal. It’s obvious, yes, but it’s done sooooo well.

Worst Moment: “We didn’t send you there to help them, we sent you there to help you” It feels a little weird

Best Performer: Kaimana

Opening: A priest (played by the director) welcomes us to the film, telling us what we saw is (mostly) true. Funny, and a good way of setting the strange tone.

Closing: Standard “what happened next”, along with footage of the actual people it’s based on. Very sweet.

Best Line: “We’ve worked too long and hard” “You’ve only just got here”

Original Review here

Oppenheimer

Ups: Great practical effects

Good ensemble cast.

The idea that someone’s career can still be ruined by accusations of communist affiliations is depressingly relevant today.

Downs: Might be too much to unpack for some.

The sex scene is a bit pointless, and cost the film a lot of money in some markets due to the use of religious text.

It’s so long.

Best Moment: The explosion itself.

Worst Moment: The sex scene. Just feels a bit out of place.

Best Performer: Murphy, obviously.

Opening: Oppenheimer poisons his teacher

Closing: The realisation of the effects the building of the bomb will have.

Best Line: You drop a bomb, and it falls on the just and the unjust. I don’t wish the culmination of three centuries of physics to be a weapon of mass destruction.

Original Review here

Piggy

Ups: A good look at the effect that bullying can have.

Doesn’t shy away from what it needs to say.

Unique

A very pink colour scheme. Like an anti-Barbie.

Downs: Seems to run out of momentum

Best Moment: When the bullies try to drown Sara. It’s at that point they go from “standard bullies” to slightly sociopathic.

Worst Moment: There’s one shot (when she goes in the water the first time) which is weirdly lit, to the point where it kind of looks cloudy

Best Performer: Laura Galan

Opening: The credits are intercut with food being prepared; pigs being hung on hooks, knives being sharpened, and animal bodies being hacked. It’s hauntingly quiet. We then get our first look at Sara; chewing on her own hair as very pop-punk music plays. Kind of weird that the first look at her face was covered up by the title card. Does a good job of showing her position in her social circles.

Closing: A blood-soaked Sara walks home before getting picked up by Pedro on his bike. I think it might have worked better without Pedro, the visual of her walking covered in blood could be iconic, so might have been a smart idea to end the film with that as opposed to a shot of two characters on a bike and then a shot of the local area. Would have been a better transition into the credits too.

Original Review here

Shazam: Fury Of The Gods

Ups: Funny

Levi is still perfect in this role.

The family relationship is much better defined than it was in the first one.

Downs: Helen Mirren is the wrong choice

Not as playful as the first one.

Bit creepy at times.

Predictable

Best Moment: A teacher being forced to walk off a building. Terrifying.

Worst Moment: The Wonder Woman cameo feels like an ass-pull to the extent I haven’t seen, outside of surgery videos.

Best Performer: Levi, obviously.

Opening: The daughters break into a museum and kill everybody there. A really good start actually, suitably creepy, and sets the villains up.

Closing: Wonder Woman cameo, the sacrifice means nothing.

Best Line: The message to the gods that was dictated by Steve.

Original Review here

The Night Of The 12th

Ups: Honest

Does a great job of putting you in the shoes of the characters

Good performances.

Downs: The lack of a conclusion could annoy people.

Jarring time skip.

Best Moment: The murder itself. It’s shocking and brutal without being exploitative or creepily sexualised.

Worst Moment: The cycling scenes are too long

Best Performer: Bastien Bouillon

Opening: A piece of text saying how “a lot of murders are not solved, this is one of them” so not as though you can claim to be surprised when the case doesn’t get solved

Closing: The crime is unsolved.

Original Review here

The Super Mario Bros Movie

Ups: Goes by quickly enough.

Jack Black.

The suicidal star.

A lot of great visual references to the series.

Downs: The jokes and script seem very “by committee”. With the exception of the aforementioned visual references, a lot of the dialogue and jokes in this could be used in any animated movie.

Some of the references feel a bit forced.

Best Moment: The Peaches song.

Worst Moment: The Mario Kart section, only because it feels unnatural in how they got to it. If Mario Kart wasn’t a thing, that entire section would not exist. It’s only there to make references.

Best Performer: Jack Black

Opening: Mario and Luigi have started a plumbing business, but it’s not going well. Simple start, and has some good references to the video game franchise.

Closing: The brothers now live in the Mushroom Kingdom, but work in New York, so commuting is gonna be a bitch.

Best Line: Peaches peaches peaches peaches

Original Review here

The Whale

Ups: Haunting.

Great performances

Sadie Sink looks a lot like Samantha Morton, which helps sell the relationship.

Downs: Hard to shake the feeling that the main character is supposed to be a figure of disgust.

It’s a little hard to give a shit at times.

Feels like it hates the main character.

Ellie’s characterisation feels inconsistent at times.

Best Moment: The reveal of why he likes the essay that much.

Worst Moment: The Thomas sup-plot feels like it doesn’t achieve much.

Best Performer: Sadie Sink

Opening: We see the main character and his condition is explained. Effective enough.

Closing: He (probably) dies, because that’s all this film thinks that character deserves.

Best Line: I need to know that I have done one right thing with my life!

Original Review here