2024 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

A side note to this entry. I originally had Fly Me To The Moon here, but then I thought about it and added it to this list instead. Yup. The differences are SO small once we get this high that something can be easily knocked down two spaces based on a single flaw.

Babes
Ups: Funny.
Honest
Downs: Some scenes feel a little lazy and like they’re a first-draft.
Best Performer: Ilana Glazer
Best Moment: The meet-cute. From a writing perspective, it’s iconic and inspirational.
Worst Moment: The “bitch” scene. The way it’s filmed makes it seem like the two performers are in separate rooms recording their lines.
Opening: “THIS FILM IS SET IN NEW YORK” montage opening
Closing: She takes her child to the movie the kid’s dad was in before he died. Very sweet.
Best Line: “Best friends are screwed over as adults. If you don’t couple up you’re fucked”.
Original review here

Gladiator 2
Ups: Every character makes sense and is well-defined.
Looks fantastic.
Brutal deaths.
Fight and action scenes look like they hurt.
Downs: Is it necessary?
The historical inaccuracies will make your head hurt. It’s not just “this happened 10 years after”. Some weaponry wouldn’t exist for over 1000 years after the movie’s events. For similar timescales; imagine a film about William The Conquerer, where the invading Norman army drives Ford Fiestas. Think of how “well that’s bullshit” that would seem. Similarly; there was no way for the safe transportation of sharks to be used in the arena.
Best Performer: Pedro Pascal
Best Moment: The Naumachia, at least until the sharks turn up.
Worst Moment: Him being shown the armour etc of Maximus feels a little shoe-horned.
Opening: A beautiful opening credit sequence that looks like it’s been painted.
Closing: A new emperor is crowned.
Best Line: What does my past matter, when my future is only to die as a gladiator?
Original review here

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person
Ups: Cracking title.
Very sweet.
When the music is good, it’s very good.
Downs: The above point about the music? Doesn’t happen enough.
Bland background characters.
It doesn’t establish the universe well enough. This is such a big problem because if it sorted that out, this would be in the next blog.
Best Performer: Sara Montpetit
Best Moment: Sasha and Paul listening to music together. Incredibly awkward and sweet. The way the characters move says so much without a word of dialogue. Paul’s revenge is also up there.
Worst Moment: Sasha breaks free from Henry in the park, hitting them. Feels weak, as if the hits have no weight to them.
Opening: It’s Sasha’s birthday, As a present, her family invited a clown over for dinner, as the main course.
Closing: Paul becomes a vampire and the two form a euthanasia team at the local hospital, draining people on their deathbeds. There’s then a scene of the two walking in the corridor, which wasn’t needed.
Best Line: I wouldn’t kill anyone other than myself.
Original review here

I Saw The TV Glow
Ups: The music.
The general feeling.
Some great performances.
Weirdly hypnotic
For someone out there questioning their gender identity, this will be THE most important film they’ve ever seen.
Excellent lighting.
Downs: It’s definitely too slow and weird for a lot of people.
Needs a clearer narrative.
Justice Smith isn’t quite confident enough to pull some of these moments off.
Best Performer: Brigette Lunday-Paine
Best Moment: Maddy explains how they buried themselves.
Worst Moment: When he’s at the cinema with a film playing behind him, mainly because whilst the Pink Opaque TV show feels real, the film does not, at all.
Opening: Some weird neon chalk drawings on a road at night. Very cool looking, it doesn’t feel like a horror movie, which I love as it helps everything feel real.
Closing: Owen breaks down at a party. Pretty damn creepy, especially since nobody reacts, they just kind of shut down like robots. He goes into a room and cuts his chest open, smiling when he finds TV static. Then goes back to work and apologises. There are a lot of different interpretations of this, which is good.
Best Line: It feels like someone… took a shovel and dug out all my insides. And I know there’s nothing in there, but I’m still too nervous to open myself up and check. I know there’s something wrong with me. My parents know it too, even if they don’t say anything.
Original review here

Juror #2
Ups: Tense.
Some great performances.
Interesting story. The kind you can tell someone and they go “Oh, I’d like to see that”
Will inspire discussion.
Downs: Bland visuals.
It wastes SOO much time.
Completely screwed over by the distributors.
It’s disheartening how believable it is.
Characters disappear.
Best Performer: Nicholas Holt.
Best Moment: Justins’ car journey, is depressing.
Worst Moment: Harold getting kicked off the case, mainly because you think it would lead somewhere.
Opening: Kind of bland opening. Hasn’t been that long but I can’t even remember it.
Closing: The assistant DA knocks on Justins’ door, so I’m assuming he gets arrested.
Best Line: We’re only as sick as our secrets.
Original review here

Late Night With The Devil
Ups: Chilling.
A lot of subtext.
Good performances.
Downs: Some wasted time.
The backstage moments completely break the immersion.
Doesn’t lead into the concept as much as it could.
Best Performer: David Dastmalchian.
Best Moment: The third-act carnage.
Worst Moment: The opening.
Opening: A documentary is investigating the events. Well not really investigating, just playing the show in full. Could have got away with cutting away from it for some sort of modern analysis etc, make it feel more like a documentary. As it is, the opening is just set up, and it all sets up stuff we would be told later anyway.
Closing: Lots of flashbacks and self-analysis. The closest a film has come to the Firefly Funhouse Match, but more normal.
Best Line: We go WAY back. We met amongst the tall trees… remember?
Original review here

Moana 2
Ups: Beautiful visuals.
New characters slot in perfectly.
Funny.
Downs: Unfocused, especially in regards to the villains.
Some of the dialogue is cringy.
The music is nowhere near as good as the first one.
Best Performer: Auli’i Cravalho
Best Moment: Assembling the crew. Always a super easy way to make a film entertaining as it allows quick jokes and character development.
Worst Moment: The death of Moana. Nobody in the audience buys it, and it’s over far too soon.
Opening: Moana has continued her adventures. Doesn’t feel like there’s been too much that has happened between the two movies. Which kind of makes it seem like the first one didn’t matter.
Closing: The island is connected to the world. Depending on how the third one goes, this is a genuine game-changer.
Best Line: “You look like a kidney stone”
“And you look like someone who would know what that is”
Original review here

Mothers’ Instinct
Ups: Some great shots.
Constantly keeps you on edge.
Downs: Doesn’t need a second watch.
Difficult to love.
Does nothing new.
Best Performer: Anne Hathaway
Best Moment: When Celine kills her husband. Slow, methodical, and brutal.
Worst Moment: The birthday party seems too cruel.
Opening: White women curtain twitching. If you know nothing going in, I’m not sure it would be as good. Knowing that it’s a thriller means you’re on edge throughout the opening, expecting something terrible to happen, instead, it’s a surprise party.
Closing: Celine adopts Theo after killing his parents. Chilling closing. Could have done a fake-out where she’s in court and made it look like she had been caught before revealing it’s for custody.
Best Line: Not really a line, but Hathaway’s scream is spine-chilling.
Original review here

Wicked Little Letters
Ups: Funny and sweary.
Olivia Colman is a delight
Fantastic chemistry between the cast.
Downs: Misleading trailer.
The “mystery” is pretty obvious.
Best Performer: Jessie Buckley
Best Moment: How they reveal the villain. Fun, caper-esque, and so damn charming.
Worst Moment: The death of Victoria feels a little misguided tonally.
Opening: Sweary letters are sent. It’s clear from reactions it’s been happening for a while. It sets up the repressed characters well and gets some good laughs in.
Closing: Standard “what happened next” reminds you that this stuff really happened.
Best Line: “It’s German”
Original review here

Wicked Little Letters (2023) Review

Quick Synopsis: When the residents of Littlehampton start receiving letters filled with obscenities and hilarious profanity, Rose, a rambunctious Irish immigrant, is accused of the crime.

This is the fourth time I’ve written this introduction. The first time I mainly spoke about how the trailer was misleading and the final film isn’t as hashtag girlboss as you’d think. But I couldn’t go into that any further without spoiling the plot. My second attempt mainly focused on how Olivia Colman is undefinable, how you never know what you’re going to get from her, is it going to be an intense award-winning drama, or something sweary and British? That ran out of steam when I (and this is genuinely true) every path I took led to a punchline where I talked about how I suspect a beloved comedic actor shows hallmarks of being an abusive piece of shit. My third attempt wasn’t a review but was in fact a recipe for tomato soup. That was thrown out because I ran out of croutons.

So how do I discuss this without giving too much away? I can start by pointing out the most important thing; this film is filthy. If you have an elderly relative who is thinking of going because “I loved her in that thing where she played the Queen, she seems such a nice lady”, warn them. I haven’t seen swearing like this since The Thick Of It, and just like TTOI, it’s done beautifully. There is an art to swearing. If it’s done wrong it can come off gratuitous and immature (see, well pretty much any Tarantino movie), but when it’s done well then it can provide sentences with an artistic rhythm which flows beautifully (think of the scene from Planes, Trains, and Automobiles). This is more of the second, with the “shits”, “cumbags” and “piss” flowing like a British river.

The story is one you want to see unfold. The timing of the reveal of the letter writer is perfect. If it was any sooner it wouldn’t feel earned, and if it was later it would feel like the mystery was too small to justify waiting that long. The mystery is possibly the weakest part, there are not enough potential suspects to drive the suspense. But the aftermath of the reveal is very good. It moves into more of a caper, the police trying to prove their suspicions, the suspect proving their innocence, and the guilty party being racked with guilt. It gives everybody involved more to do and is genuinely quite tense because you’re unsure whether the person will get away with it.

None of that would matter if it wasn’t for the performances. Jessie Buckley and Olivia Colman have tremendous chemistry and I’d like to see them do more together; I would legit love a buddy cop movie. Anjana Vasan is a ball of energy and made me really want to see a second series of We Are Lady Parts. Joanna Scanlan is a lot of fun too. I wish some of the background characters had more to do though, there are inklings of personality for a lot of one-shot characters, and I’d have liked to have seen more of them.

Overall, Wicked Little Letters (or WLL, pronounced Woo-lil) doesn’t quite feel big enough to earn a cinema release, but it’s one you will be very glad you watched. Maybe don’t put it on over Christmas with the folks, but watch it when you need to laugh.

2022 In Film: Day Two (The Bad)

Films to which I say “oh, I hated them, but……”. Make no mistake, these are not good films. But the people involved have potential to make good ones in the future, if they stop being shit.

Ambulance

Ups: Some good performances

Unique idea.

A few very good shots.

Downs: All the action scenes feel hollow, when cars crash they’re filmed in a way that has no weight to them so you don’t really feel the carnage.

Too much fluff.

Some baffling shot choices.

Best Moment: The split second where Will gets shot. Changes the ending completely.

Worst Moment: A moment we don’t see, we don’t see the beginning of the bank robbery. There’s no sense of planning.

Best Performer: Jake Gyllenhaal. He makes a good sociopath.

Opening: The character needs money because his wife is dying of something (I’m not sure they ever say what). It really unsubtly mentions/shows his war veteran status. All character work, setting up who he is, and his motivations. Also really long and there must have been a better way of doing it.

Closing: One of the brothers dies, the other one lives but is likely to get away with it because the witnesses like him. I mean, yeah, he was roped into the worst parts, and he wanted the money for a good reason. But he still took part in a bank heist and caused millions of dollars of damages. He’s good, but not innocent.

Best Line: You are all gonna have the greatest story to tell at dinner tonight!

Original Review here

Licorice Pizza

Ups: Looks stunning

Wonderful soundtrack

When the characters are apart from each other, they are actually fun to watch.

Downs: Unlikeable characters.

Meandering plot.

He’s 15, she’s 25. That’s creepy. That’s why this film is rated so low for me. It’s a dealbreaker. Otherwise it would be about 2 blogs higher.

Best Moment: The Jon Peters scene. Funny, and completely disrupts the myth of fame.

Worst Moment: After telling Alana “say yes to whatever a casting agent says”, Gary then gets annoyed when she says “yes” to being asked whether she’s okay with nudity. He then goes full incel and shouts at her that it’s fucked up that she won’t show him her tits, but is willing to show them on camera. She then shows him them. So he’s an asshole, and she’s an idiot.

Best Performer: Sean Penn. He’s not in it much, but he’s so sleazy when he is.

Opening: They meet. There’s not much to it really. Would have felt more natural if he wasn’t 15, and she wasn’t an adult.

Closing: They run together and kiss. Yay, the adult and the child are now able to be together.

Best Line: Fuck off, teenagers!

Original Review here

Men

Ups: Technically, it’s very good.

Smart ideas.

Looks incredible.

Great performances.

Downs: I much prefer narrative.

Very unsubtle.

A bit anvillicious.

Best Moment: When you realise her attackers are getting the exact same injuries her husband had when he died. Sooooo smart.

Worst Moment: Rory Kinnear as a small child. It looks weird.

Best Performer: Jessie Buckley.

Opening: Harper travels to a holiday home. There are some things which could be standard but are instead really creepy shots.

Closing: Batshit insanity. Can’t sum it up.

Best Line: “what is it you want from me?” “your love”

Original Review here

Minions 2: The Rise Of Gru

Ups: Weirdly good opening credits. Very Bond-like

It is much better than the first one.

Downs: For one thing, the timelines doesn’t work out.

Can’t contain the momentum over a long period of time.

Does anybody want this?

Waste of supporting cast.

Best Moment: The opening credits.

Worst Moment: The plane sequence, a bit too silly.

Best Performer: Taraji P. Henson

Opening: A villain steals a map in the 70s. Just an excuse for cheap puns. Some of which did make me lol though. Then leads through to a character called Wild Knuckles (terrible name), who steals something, then gets betrayed by the villain group he’s with. Does a good job of setting up the villains.

Closing: The person you thought died, didn’t. He was never referenced in the other films so I assume he died like 5 minutes after the events of this film.

Best Line: “Call your mom, it’s ransom time” “She might pay you to keep me”

Original Review here

Unhuman

Ups: The line “What in the upper-case fuck?” is one I’m going to have to steal.

Oooooo pretty colours.

Downs: The directing could be better, there’s a conversation at the start which is weirdly shot, with some editing decisions which are definitely conscious choices, but seem like mistakes.

The bus crash itself is well shot, but there’s one a moment in it where someone bashes their head on the chair in front and it has no impact at all, but she gets a broken nose.

Should be gayer. That may not make sense, but watch the trailer. That makes it seem like it will, at the very least, have some degree of non-straight sexuality to it. But it doesn’t.

Best Moment: There’s a great split second moment where a guy is handed a menstrual pad to pass over to someone with a broken nose to help clean up the blood. The pad is new and in an unopened box, but the guy still acts with utter revulsion. I don’t know where that was the actors decision or the directors but it’s really smart.

Worst Moment: Whilst the mid-point plot twist is pretty cool but depends on things happening exactly as they do. So if you think about it for more than a single second the whole thing falls apart.

Best Performer: Brianne Tju.

Opening: Really happy joyous music over a blumhouse logo. Unexpected but fun.

Closing: Everyone who survived is back on the bus, the teacher turns out to have survived. The two villains then get recruited by an anti-drug crusader.

Best Line: “Let’s just hope we hit a racist so we don’t have to feel bad”

Original Review here

X

Ups: Is well aware of what it is and what it’s trying to do.

People who like it, will really like it.

Downs: Very cruel to the characters.

Just not my kind of horror movie. That’s the biggest issue. I can talk about a lot of my issues with it, but my biggest one is it just wasn’t for me. Like how I never vibe with Rob Zombies work for some reason. Some just don’t gel with my horror sensibilities.

Best Moment: Pearl pleading with her husband to have sex with her. Very sweet.

Worst Moment: Same moment, but the fact it was met with disgust and laughter by some of the audience in the screening is kind of bleak. “ewwww, old people want to have sex”

Best Performer: Jenna Ortega

Opening: A group drive to a house, planning to make porn. Could have slipped in a few more Texas Chainsaw references, or get rid of it.

Closing: One of the cops finding a camera, “what’s on there?” “probably some fucked up horror movie”, END!

Original Review here

Men (2022)

Quick synopsis: Harper Marlowe is a recently widowed woman who wants to escape for a short holiday in the country. Folk horror misogyny happens.

I went into this expecting to be creeped out, but to still enjoy it. Out the gate I’m going to say that I love the performances, Rory Kinnear has a difficult job playing so many characters, but giving them all a distinct personality. Jessie Buckley continues to be one of the best hidden talents of the UK acting scene. It’s also directed beautifully, with some stunning shots. I was just let down by the narrative, which is a big deal because to me, narrative is king. I’m more likely to forgive a badly made film with a great story, than a wonderfully made film with a bad story.

I get what the director was going for. The “women are surrounded by toxic masculinity” is a valid theme for a horror movie, but this somehow manages to be both too obvious, and too confusing. The behaviour by all of Kinnear’s characters is shocking, but the reason for it is not. The fact that every male in the village is played by the same actor is never referenced. I’m guessing it’s to do with the impersonality of the attacks. But at one point Buckley’s character asks “who are you?”, this was when I gave up with the film. If they were going to make the film make sense, this is when it would have happened, but it didn’t. They ignored the question and then carried on being possibly metaphorical, possibly real. I’m still not sure what it actually was that was attacking her. Was it a shapeshifter that couldn’t change his face? Something that can teleport? Her psychosis? It’s very surreal, and not very satisfying as a viewer. The whole thing reminded me of Lucky, that had similar issues. It’s a story worth telling, and it sets up a compelling mystery, it just has no idea how to solve it so dissolves into batshit insanity.

The ending of this is true insanity. It’s a LOOOOONG sequence of the male characters giving birth to each other, finally ending with the abusive husband. It’s horrific (but beautifully made), and goes on longer than necessary and doesn’t really explain it. Really it sums up the film in general; too focused on the themes and the shock, rather than a compelling story.

I’m disappointed to have to rate this so low, as it does have a lot of really cool ideas. Her defending herself against the attackers causing them to have the exact same injuries her ex husband did, is REALLY smart writing. Plus the use of echoes and ripples is very smart and themetically perfect. The idea that the past actions echo back to us in a different form is one that’s prevalent throughout the film, and is a neat idea.

Outside of those themes, and outside of the technical brilliance, there’s really nothing to it. And that’s a shame.

Still, great music.

Wild Rose (2019)

I was slightly apprehensive about this film. I worried it would try too hard to be emotional and would just fall flat. I don’t really connect with a lot of country music on an emotional level, so if that’s the lynchpin of the film then I just won’t get it. Also, it’s a British movie about a working-class person wanting to live their dreams; films like that tend to not do well in the “great plot” stakes, usually incredibly predictable and obvious. There was a small glimmer of hope however that it would work. As this film went on that hope became larger, I became emotionally invested in this film and it just really works, a lot. Most of that is due to the performance of Jessie Buckley, who I’ll admit I’m not too familiar with but I feel I should be, her performance in this is breath-taking, turning what could be an unlikeable character into one you really root for and that you can’t help but love.

Make no mistake, this is a SCOTTISH country film, the fact it’s set in Scotland adds a lot to the story and the character and makes it unique. I mean, it’s also a Scottish COUNTRY film, wouldn’t really work with most other music genres, there’s something about the soul of country music which lends itself to this film. I mean, I suppose it’s also a Scottish country FILM as it wouldn’t work if it was a fruit basket, but that would just be silly, albeit delicious.

It’s not perfect, there are a few moments which only exist to service the plot, in fact, there’s one character who almost seems to exist only to further the plot with her actions. Don’t get me wrong, the interactions between them and the main character are incredibly heart-warming and lovely, it does seem a little hollow at times. The way the main character reacts to her seems incredibly out of character and only seems to happen to cause a plot-problem later down the line.

I mentioned the performances earlier, and whilst they are good, they’re not the best part of the film. The best part is something you can’t really identify but is there; the heart. Everything in this film seems like it’s done with great love and emotion, and it’s that which carries this film through the weaker moments. The heart Jessie Buckley puts into the songs she performs brings tears to your eyes. Even the ending is full of heart, ending with something that’s not the happy ending the film is expected to have, but the one that the film deserves, and it’s beautiful.