Tag: Godzilla

Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: It’s a monster movie, is the plot important?

The Monsterverse movies have been a huge success, the fact they’re big-budget movies that keep getting sequels is proof of that, especially since they’re made by Warner Bros, who have a tendency to cancel films and don’t let silly things like “It’s been completed and early reviews have been very positive” get in the way. But anyway, that’s enough about my bitterness over the Batgirl movie. I have watched all the Monsterverse movies at the cinema and reviewed most of them. But here’s the thing; I can’t remember any of them. I can’t remember any of the characters’ names, can barely remember any of the actors, with one exception (Brian Tyree Henry) I’m genuinely not sure if any of the actors from this film were in the previous ones or if they’re all new. Human characters have never been this franchise’s strong point, especially when compared to Minus One which was released last year.

If you’ve seen both this and Minus One, this can’t compare. The visuals are better, yes, but the story, the characters, the entertainment, just aren’t there in this. As I said, the visuals are great in this, the monsters themselves look fantastic, if not incredibly cartoon-like. The sense of scale is occasionally off though. You don’t know how big they are because there’s nothing recognisable in there to compare it to, just trees, which aren’t great for establishing size because (obviously) they can vary in size. This is a huge problem with Suko, the “Baby Kong”. We only ever see him next to Kong and other similarly sized objects, all of whom tower over him. So in your head, you think “Oh, okay, he’s the size of a child”, then when he enters the fight at the end you find out he’s actually the size of a small building. Would it have killed them to have him near a human character to establish his size?

On the subject of it, the final fight could be better. It’s built up well, and does deliver in terms of titans smashing into each other. But again, it lacks the human aspect. We see buildings demolished in the fight, but there’s no sound from them, nobody screaming. Were the buildings empty or is it just lazy sound design? If they were empty, then surely a shot from the inside of one of the buildings would have been a nice thing to see? These films are impressive for what they manage on their budget, but it feels like creatively the directors are so focused on meeting the budget that they leave zero room for creativity. There are no shots which will linger with you once it’s over. There are “fuck yeah!” shots, shots which look great in trailers and on posters, but nothing that stands the test of time. Think of King Kong, the character. Odds are, you’re imagining him at the top of the tower, fighting off bi-planes (and some heteroplanes, but less than you think they’d be), NOTHING in this entire franchise has ever even attempted to be as iconic. It feels bad to say this considering the sheer amount of effort that has clearly gone into these, but creatively it’s all very lazy.

I’m aware those are very pretentious criticisms and ones which most people won’t give a shit about. Most people go into this for dumb fun, and in that aspect, it does deliver. I mean, it does count on you being able to remember far too many details from previous (forgettable) films. This is definitely spectacle film that deserves to be seen at the cinema. It’s just, dumb spectacle is no excuse for low effort. There is zero reason spectacle has to be stupid. Zero reason for it to have characters you can’t name. Zero reason for it to take no risks. That scene of Mothra is dope as fuck though.

2023 Film Awards Day Two: The Components

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Best Script

Bottoms
I loved how it balanced the “wtf” nature that exists in the world of this film, whilst also being deeply serious and personal. I was more forgiving of issues with this than other films because it felt like it took place in a strange universe. Like Black Books or Green Wing. So there was a certain amount of “well that makes no sense. But fuck it”. Normally, that approach like that would feel like a cop-out, but it genuinely works here. Plus, I can guarantee this is some sexually confused 15-year-old autistic kids’ new obsession that will change their lives, and the world needs more films like that. This is going to be a film that changes someone’s life, and it’s REALLY funny too.
Missing
Long-followers (or anybody who has spoken to me for more than a few minutes) will know that I LOVED Searching. So I was always going to enjoy a thematic sequel. The brilliance of this is almost entirely down to how well-scripted it is. Yes, the computer screen gimmick helps, and the performances are great. But you could make it a normal film and would still work, could replace the performances and might still work, but it’s the script that turns something good into something great. It’s so damn well plotted. Just when you think you know the answer, it changes the question. You go through thinking “Well obviously this is the case”, then five minutes later the film proves you wrong. It’s a script made of a thousand threads, and every single one is expertly crafted.

Winner

Rye Lane
Despite what my somewhat cynical nature would make you believe, I do genuinely love a good rom-com. And this is a good one. A lot of that is down to the performances, but the script makes their job slightly easier. The two characters are likeable, and the meet-cute actually feels real. A lot of times that moment feels a bit too “written”, but it feels genuine in this like it was an actual moment which could lead to two people falling for each other. The key point is that you actually want the two people to end up together. You feel emotionally invested, and that’s all down to how real the script makes the characters seem.

Best Looking

A Man Called Otto
Mainly because there’s a BEAUTIFUL seasonal transition shot. The rest of the film looks pretty standard, but that one shot is so damn good.
All Quiet On The Western Front
Some absolutely stunning shots. The visuals really help make you feel that you’re there. Usually, films like this have a tendency to be just a mesh of brown and grey. This adds moments of colour, and everything is so clear there’s zero washout.
Barbie
For a lot of these, I’ll be talking about how they made everything look real. Barbie, I’ll be doing the opposite. A lot of care went into making the world look fake. It reminded me of Game Night, where the establishing shots etc were shot in such a way that the houses kind of looked like game pieces. Everything here looked like a dollhouse world. Not just the obvious (colour schemes etc), but the way things are sized too. They obviously had a blast with the visuals, and it’s all the better for it.
Creed 3
I loved the fights in the first Creed movie. The way the camera weaved between the participants really helped sell the damage being done. This approaches it differently. It makes it less realistic, and more philosophical. So it really gets you inside their heads, letting you know the pressure they’re under, how alone they feel, how completely drained they are. It’s a risky strategy, but it really pays off.
John Wick: Chapter 4
You always get innovative fight scenes in this franchise. But this entry went a bit different; shooting one as if it was a video game, moving over walls and with constant motion. It all looks so effortless too.
Oppenheimer
Obviously, this was going to be listed here. They recreated a nuclear detonation with minimal to no CGI. Everything is building up to that moment, so if the explosion sucked then the whole film would be ruined. But that crazy bastard pulled it off.
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
I loved how the different animation styles meshed with each other. All the different Spider-verses FEEL different and unique in how they’re animated. There’s so much effort into differentiating them, and it really pays off.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
The script itself was created with no love for the source, with all the references being surface level and nothing more than “this is a thing in the games”. But the visuals? They were done with love. Background graffiti and road signs are full of references. The music may be meh, the voice acting bland, and the plot a bit dull, but the sheer love that went into creating the visuals means watching this film isn’t a total loss.

Winner

The Creator
Obviously, it was going to be this.  I don’t know how Gareth Edwards managed it on such a small budget but I can only assume witchcraft. It looks incredible, absolutely astounding. There are zero moments where it doesn’t look real (although there is one moment where the geography of the scene could be improved to help clarify things). Considering the amount of effects etc. that must be needed for this to work; that truly is a testament to the talent of Edwards and his team.

Best Performance

Aftersun – Paul Mescal
Everything is subtext. Calum is so damn well written. He’s a father who is suffering from depression, but is doing his best to hide it from his daughter. Mescal has to carry all of that nuance. He doesn’t get to explain it, doesn’t get anybody else to explain it, it’s all hidden under the surface. It would be easy for it to be too obvious, too surface-level. I kind of feel you need to have mental health issues to be able to see the signs. I don’t think some people will understand it, but those who do get it, will GET it.
Apocalypse Clown – Natalie Palamides
Her character, as written, is already the highlight of the film, but her physicality is tremendous. Even the way she eats ham is notable. She is never not “on”.
Barbie – America Ferrera
A performer who was sorely underrepresented in the marketing. She’s the straight performer in a world of comedy, so it would be easy for her to be overshadowed by people who could go further. Without Ferrera, the film risks coming off as too wacky and silly, making it feel like nothing has consequences. She provides it with enough seriousness that you buy it as real, even when it goes batshit weird.
Haunted Mansion – Lakeith Stanfield
I genuinely believe he’s one of the best all-rounders the industry has; a face that suits magazine covers, the perfect voice for audiobooks, plus the ability to deliver an incredibly powerful monologue that will bring you to tears. Everyone else is acting like they’re in a Disney movie, all overly expressive and aimed towards a mass audience. That’s fine, that’s really all you need in a film like this. But Stanfield? He performs like he’s in an Oscar-bait drama.
M3gan – Amie Donald
Her physicality is amazing. Her movement enters uncanny valley territory. She’s under 15 years old and has more physical awareness than people who have been in the industry longer than she’s been alive. I hope this doesn’t lead to her constantly being cast as a horror movie monster wearing a mask so you can’t tell it’s her. Yes, her character is an inhuman robotic killer, but it’s the slight fluidity that Amie adds to it that helps sell the character.
Missing – Storm Reid
I’m not that familiar with her, having only seen her in small roles before. But she carries this brilliantly. There’s a lot for her to do too, she has to be a cocky teenager, but one whose mother has gone missing so she’s worried about her (whilst also being competent enough to try and solve it). So she needs to somehow convey both “I know everything” and “I need an adult”. That’s difficult to do in a supporting role, but as a lead, it’s tricky to do and remain convincing. She has great facial expressions, to the point where there’s so much unsaid dialogue in this.
Oppenheimer – Cillian Murphy
There’s not much I could add here which hasn’t been said many times before. So I’m not going to.
The Whale – Sadie Sink
I know Fraser has a lot of love for his performance in this. But I kind of think that Sadie did more. In the future, she’s going to do something that will make everybody notice her, she is that damn good. Fraser can kind of hide behind his prosthetics and physical performance, whereas Sadie has to lay it all on the line, shedding every single layer of vulnerability. Her character could be better written, more consistent, but her performance is damn fine.
We Have A Ghost – David Harbour
Mainly because he does the whole thing without saying a word. He is one of those actors that even when he’s in bad films (such as Gran Turismo), he’s usually the best part, and never the cause. We Have A Ghost is an average movie, deserving of its place on Netflix instead of physical media. But Harbour, and everything he does, could not be improved.

Winner

Killers Of A Flower Moon – Lily Gladstone
It’s not an understatement to say that her performance is the beating heart of this movie. She has so much to do and does it brilliantly. An example of how great her performance was; she’s in a film with DiCaprio, DeNiro, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser fresh off The Whale, and Jesse Plemons. Yet who was everybody talking about? Lily Gladstone. She didn’t just hold her own against acting heavyweights, she overshadowed them.

Best Character

Aftersun – Calum
The stuff I mentioned in the Best Actor part? All applies here too. It’s a fantastic mix of a well-written character being played by the best person possible.
Barbie – Ken
It feels weird saying that. It’s a feminist AF film, female director etc. Yet the most entertaining character is the dude. That feels wrong somehow. His character does run the risk of being slightly incel at times, but he redeems himself with his rejection of what we would deem standard masculinity. His arc isn’t about finding a girl, it’s about finding himself. It’s essentially the same as the main character from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, just with less depression.
Bottoms – Hazel
The other characters are great too. But I absolutely adored Hazel. I was discussing this movie with someone and she said this: “I’m concerned that I would actually sell my soul to protect Nicholas Galitzine. I don’t want to date him at all, just protect him”. That’s exactly how I feel about the character of Hazel
Creed 3/John Wick 4 – The Title Characters
This has to be the end of that franchise. The characters have reached the natural end of their story. Both of these two are similar, they have back stories I’d like to see more of, but their current story has definitely ended. They went out on a high too. It’s been good to see these characters develop across the movies, letting us live in their worlds for a moment. I’m sad there’s no more, but I’m glad I got to see every single entry in both franchises in the cinema.
Holy Spider – Saeed Azimi
He’s not sympathetic or likeable in the slightest, but he is sincere, and you do understand how he got to his point of view, even if it is sociopathic and deplorable. It’s key that the character doesn’t seem to be getting pleasure from this. He seems genuinely disgusted with himself for having to be near the women he’s killing. This really helps him feel genuine. He is terrifying, even when he’s just being an everyday family man. There’s a moment where the veil slips when he has an outburst in front of his family and stops being the kind loving family man. What’s very telling is how his family react. They’re scared, but not surprised. So they know he has the capacity for violence; just maybe not to the full extent of it.
Joy Ride – Deadeye
I mean, she’s clearly autistic, right? But crucially, not to the point of parody or cruelty. It’s weird, this is a film about identity and finding your family. Yet the most emotional part belongs to Deadeye thinking she’s been abandoned by her online friends. You just break, it’s incredibly emotional, but it wouldn’t be if you didn’t like the character.
Polite Society – Ria Khan
It would be so easy for her to come off as a whiny entitled brat with delusions. But every decision she makes makes sense. When she sneaks into the men’s locker room to go through a phone? Makes sense with what we know about the character so far. She feels like a real person and we’re just getting a snapshot of her life. She also gets to be a character who’s not just a damsel in distress, which is still depressingly rare for young female characters. The representation is great to see, but even without that, Ria is still an important character because she’s just so damn likeable and funny.
The Marvels – Kamala Khan
Fuck the critics, she is adorable. Her squee nature makes sense too, she is a fangirl getting the chance to work with her idols. Of course she’d be overwhelmed. She’s the only one not trying to put on a tough front, it makes her very human.

Winner

Godzilla: Minus One – Kōichi Shikishima
A failed kamikaze pilot haunted not just by his actions in the war (feigning mechanical issues to get out of his duty. I mean, his duties were to kill himself so I get it) and by his behaviour in the first Godzilla attack. He’s a man haunted by guilt and regret, someone who spends the entire time needing to prove himself. That defines so many of his actions. His refusal to openly return Noriko’s feelings comes from a belief that he doesn’t deserve happiness. This is what makes Godzilla movies work, and why so many adaptations get it wrong. It’s not about the monster, it’s about the humans. Throughout this, you want Koichi to succeed and find happiness, he’s a PTSD-haunted man in a society which doesn’t think PTSD is a thing.

Best Couple/Double Act

Aftersun – Calum/Sophie (Paul Mescal/Frankie Corio)
Aftersun would not have worked if the relationship between the two leads felt fake. It’s difficult for two adults to fake a familial relationship, let alone an adult and a child actor. Yet you never doubt the sincerity between the two. They genuinely feel like father and daughter, which is a testament to the talent of both Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio, as well as whoever made the decision that the two of them should spend time at a holiday resort in Turkey during rehearsals.
Barbie – Barbie/Ken (Margot Robbie/Ryan Babygoose)
They play off each other perfectly, both in characters and in performance. Barbie is weird, and Ken has to match that Kenergy throughout so that she seems logical. Surprisingly this is only the second film the two actors have starred in together, and I don’t even think they shared any scenes in the other one (The Big Short). A smart movie studio would book these two together in more things. A dumb studio would greenlight a bunch of movies based on toys. Fucking Warner Bros are useless.
It’s A Wonderful Knife – Winnie/Bernie (Jane Widdop/Jess McLeod)
The rest of the film is nothing to write home about, but the chemistry between these two performers is a delight. I would love to see these two in a romantic comedy. The chemistry between the two performers was so good that it actually changed the story. I love when that happens, and it would have been stupid of them not to do that.
M3gan – M3gan/Cady – Amie Donald/Violet McGraw
For this to work, you need to believe that Cady doesn’t think of M3gan as a robot. Otherwise, it would just be like “Why is that small child so friendly with a calculator?”. You need to believe that they have a friendship that goes beyond a child and her computer. You can easily believe that these two are friends, so it all works.
Quiz Lady – Anne/Jenny (Awkafina/Sandra Oh)
They have really great chemistry, to the point where it is easy to buy them as siblings. They’re helped by a script full of moments which showcase how much Jenny really does care for her sister Anne. They’re both playing against type, and if both of them aren’t perfect it doesn’t work. I adore how familiar the two performers feel with each other, and it’s the linchpin the film is based around.
Rye Lane – Dom/Yas (David Jonsson/Vivian Oparah)
Watching the two interact, you’d assume they’d worked together a lot before, nope. Every moment between the two makes you want to see more. They’re so natural together, that weirdly, it kind of hurts the film. Because of how natural a couple the two make, the argument between the two doesn’t ring true. You don’t think a perfect couple like that could be split by something that small. A small niggle though. Without that chemistry, a lot of the best moments would feel forced. I don’t say this often for a rom-com, but I want to see these characters again, maybe in a TV show following the two down the line.
Scrapper – Georgie/Jason (Lola Campbell/Harris Dickinson)
There’s a fun playfulness between the two, but it’s a playfulness filled with uncertainty and quiet mistrust. They do like each other, and we do see moments of him being a caring dad, but you are always aware that they don’t actually know each other. Every moment of warmth is played with the undercurrent of knowing that Georgie hasn’t forgiven her dad for walking out on her.

Winner

Past Lives – Nora/Hae (Greta Lee/Teo Yoo)
A couple that is not a couple when the film starts, and isn’t one when the film ends. But they mesh so well together. Past Lives received a lot of positive attention in the industry, with heavyweights like Christopher Nolan naming it as one of his favourite films. I have to believe a small part of that is the undeniable chemistry that the two actors share, and how well-written their characters are. Going in, you know how this is ending, but you have that small flicker of hope that you’re wrong.

2023 Film Awards Day One: The Moments

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Best Opening

Godzilla: Minus One – Godzilla kills an island
A really effective way of showing what makes this iteration of the ‘Zilla from nowhere near Manilla different. He is not a protector of the planet or something interested in creating balance within the ecosystem. He is a monster that wants to fuck shit up.
They Killed Tyrone – Dated Credits
This is a weird film, so you’d think a suitable opening would also be weird. Nope, it’s relatively normal. But it does SUCH a good job of setting up the themes and tone that it’s hard to think of how it could have been better. The film slowly reveals its weirdness as it does so to the characters. There are hints as to what will happen, but if it didn’t go in the direction it ended up going, nobody would have complained that they were misled.
Napoleon – The Execution
Does a good job of setting up his motivations (even though his being there was fictional and created for the film). Also, it’s nice to see an execution not be bloodless. It sets up expectations that when soldiers die, it’s not going to shy away from showing how graphic that could be.
The Night Of The 12th – Most Murders Go Unsolved
You can’t claim the ending surprised you when it opens with that.
Saw X – Nothing
Saw films normally start schlocky and violent. This one takes its time to set the story up. It’s incredibly mature for a Saw movie and sets it above anything else the franchise has made.
Shazam! Fury Of The Gods – The gods kill a bunch of people
This was not a good movie, but this section was good, it was creepy, set the villains up as threats, and wasn’t stupid. If the rest of the film matched the quality of the opening, it would have been better than the first, instead, we just got a bloated, tonal mess.

Winner
Scream VI – Ghostfake
You watch a slasher movie, especially Scream, and you know how it’s opening; we see a character, who gets murdered, credits. The Scream franchise has done a better job than most of playing with that; in the first one, the victim was played by Drew Barrymore, who was not only the biggest actor in the film, but also was all over the marketing so people thought she was a main character. The fourth one had a multitude of meta fakeouts that annoyed some, but I loved it. Finally, the fifth one had the person attacked actually survive. So really, you shouldn’t be surprised that you’re surprised, which makes the way they did this one perfect. By unmasking a Ghostface this early, it instantly puts you on edge and makes you wonder what else they’ll do, after killing Dewey in the last one, is Gail safe? All bets are off, and the opening proves it.

Worst Opening

A Man Called Otto – Otto Arguing
It’s supposed to show how he’s determined and feels lost in the modern world. But really it just makes him seem like a massive prick. Low-level staff cannot change or bypass store policies for chain stores, so if you yell at them about store policies or prices, you’re an asshole.
Good Burger 2- Musical Opening
Mainly because the performer’s voice isn’t really suited for it, plus there’s a much better potential opening a few scenes later. The fire demonstration would have been a much better choice and would have demonstrated how things have changed, rather than the one they use which just seems to make comparisons to the original and makes it feel like nothing has changed except the actor is now older.
We Have A Ghost – Family Leaves House Scared
It’s nothing we haven’t seen before, and seen better. It lacks any sense of originality. I don’t get why this was deemed suitable for the opening sequence of a horror comedy. It’s not funny, or scary. It’s just, well, kind of dull.

Winner
65 – Everybody Dies
I got what they were going for, but it didn’t work at all. In fact, it just wasted a lot of potential. It delivers the information far too quickly to be effective. We don’t know any of the crew members who died, so all their deaths mean absolutely nothing.

Best Moment

Barbie – The Monologue
There were a lot of moments to choose from in this, it was a great film. I chose this moment because it’s the most important part. It encapsulates the best of what Barbie achieves; it’s the kind of dialogue which can only be written by a writer who is either a woman or is paying a lot of attention. It’s important, but also doesn’t feel overly preachy. It’s the jokes and the performances that draw people in, but it’s this moment which will stick with young girls for years to come.
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret – Laura
A scene that is still sadly relevant today, when the hero learns the lesson “don’t slut-shame”. Throughout the story, the character of Laura has been met with rumour and innuendo. In reality, she’s still a child, just one that developed quicker than her peers, and she feels ostracised and scared because of it. It’s played perfectly too, with the realisation from the main character that everything she believed about this girl was a lie. It also leads to a VERY cute moment of them all playing together.
Godzilla: Minus One – Attack On Ginza
I LOVED this movie, it was brutal, it was intense, and it was also very human. The attack on Ginza was the best way to show all of what made it work. It shows Godzilla as a seemingly unkillable monster who is capable of destruction, and it shows the relationship between Koichi and Noriko. The nuclear explosion at the end was also PERFECT for the themes. Japan is a country still going through Hiroshima PTSD, so for Godzilla to cause that again is absolutely harrowing for the residents.
Missing – The Twist
I love a good twist. Especially one that you know means that the next time you watch the film you’re going to spot the little clues that led up to it. This has all the hallmarks of a good twist; it’s surprising, but once you know of it you realise that the real answer was staring you right in the face the entire time. A bad twist overshadows the film so that once you know it, there’s nothing else to the story. The twist for Missing doesn’t do that, it increases your love for it, because of how damn well it’s written.

Winner
Spider-man: Across The Spider-Verse – Canon Events
Anything that reminds me of Whatever Happened To The Caped Crusader is a good thing in my books. The explanation is that Spider-Man is caused by trauma, so if you stop that, you actually make the universe worse off. It’s a lot of responsibility for the character to take on, but you know he’s going to anyway because that’s what he does.

Worst Moment

Assassin Club – What The Falk?
They build a character (Falk) as a mysterious big deal. They discuss how nobody knows who they are, and how their complete existence is a mystery. In the very next scene, the main characters get a phone call which is basically “Hi, I’m Falk. I’m an x year old white female who likes long walks on the beach and my address is…”. So what was the point of building up a mystery if you’re going to solve it that quickly? You go from knowing nothing to knowing enough about her to commit identity theft, and that’s not a joke, Jim!
Saw X – Trap Conclusions
Most of the traps feel too timed-based. Many of the characters nearly make it and if they were given 5 seconds more would have escaped the traps. This goes against Jigsaw’s modus operandi of testing people; technically they did pass the test and proved how much they were willing to sacrifice, but because they were slightly slower than Jigsaw thought they should be, they died.
Slotherhouse – The Death Of Mayflower
Goes on too long. Isn’t funny enough to justify its length, and she doesn’t seem to be taking her impending death that seriously.
The Marvels – Singing Planet
It’s a bit unfair to have this listed as the worst moment. But when you compare what it was, to what it could have been, then the reason it’s here is clear. It could have ended up being one of the cinematic highlights. It could have been fun, infectious, and unique. At the very least it could have been memorable. I can forgive noble failures, but I can’t forgive doing nothing, and it feels that’s what they did here.

Winner
Ant-Man And The Wasp: Quantumania – M.O.D.O.K
I’m not that familiar with M.O.D.O.K. as a character, but I assume we’re supposed to take him somewhat seriously? It doesn’t help that when I look at M.O.D.O.K I don’t see a “Mechanized Organism Designed Only for Killing”, I see Krang from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It doesn’t help that the CGI is awful and just looks ridiculous. A budget this big should not result in things that look this stupid. To be fair, I don’t think there is a way to make a giant human head look threatening, so there’s not much they could have done to help that. Well, they could have just kept the fucking mask on and NOT SHOW THE ACTUAL FACE. It was close between this and the Assassin Club moment. What puts this one ahead is that take that scene out, and Assassin Club would still be a shit film, AMATWQ would be improved soooo much without this scene. So whilst the Assassin Club scene is worse, this one does more damage.

Best Closing

Apocalypse Clown – Garth Brooks
There are many ways to end an apocalyptic story, but it takes a brave story to end it with “yeah the world didn’t end, the electrics were just wiped by a power surge caused by a Garth Brooks concert”. It risks making it feel like what we’ve seen was a waste of time. Or it comes off as hilarious and farcical, this is more in the second category. It’s completely ridiculous and silly, I loved it.
Cassandro – Conversation With His Father
Cassandro sometimes fails to show the homophobia that the man went through in his life. So it’s good to see scenes like this, scenes which remind you of the pain he had to go through to live his life. Scenes which have actual humanity and emotion.
Strays – Doug Gets Bit In The Dick
Incredibly satisfying and cathartic. Throughout the film there’s a slight worry that Doug will be rehabilitated or forgiven, instead, he gets put through a lot of pain in the final scenes, and it’s a lot of fun to see. Nobody watching the film will like Doug, so nobody will be sad to see what happens to him.
Aftersun – It Ends
The dad says goodbye to his daughter at the airport and then shuts the camera off. I know that sounds boring and meaningless, but in the context of this, it’s incredibly powerful and will bring a tear to your eye.
Holy Spider – The Execution
He thought he was going to get away with it but turns out his friends had sold him out. I like the fact that he died afraid, and the irony of him being killed by lack of oxygen is nice to see. That should have been how it ended, as it was, it carried on to her on a couch watching videos. Disappointing. Or so I thought. But then she watches videos of his son, and he’s talking about how he plans to continue his dad’s work; demonstrating how his dad killed them, like he was doing something great. Demonstrating on his sister. Thankfully just a soft recreation, not actually killing her. But it’s still horrific to watch in terms of what it implies about societal bullshit.
Pearl – Smiling Through The Pain
It’s just her smiling through the closing credits. It’s incredibly unsettling and puts you on edge.

Winner
Killers Of The Flower Moon – What Happened Next
It’s just the director on stage, speaking about what happened next to all the characters we’ve just seen. Ordinarily, that would be lazy. But it’s done like they’re recording a radio drama, so we see the sound artists creating sound effects live etc. It’s incredibly daring, and in a lesser film would have sunk it faster than the Titanic (I fast-forwarded through that film, the whole thing takes five minutes, right?). But Scorcese makes it work. Some endings are perfect for the story, some are clever, and very few are as PERFECT as this. Absolute genius.

Worst Closing

Puss In Boots: The Last Wish – Sequel Hook
It’s a shame, as a lot of this film is far superior to many of the previous films in the Shrek franchise, this is the only time it ever really feels like a Dreamworks film. Cheap, lazy, and completely unsatisfying.
Shazam! Fury Of The Gods – Billy Comes Back To Life
I’m not a fan of sacrifices meaning nothing. Especially when it feels unearned. If it’s foreshadowed, like in Scott Pilgrim where he earns an extra life early in the film. But in this? Wonder Woman just appears, fixes the problem for no reason, and then leaves.
Hypnotic – The Villain Has Survived
Narratively unsatisfying. It makes sense in the story they’re telling, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating to watch. A similar thing happened in Spider-Man, but we know that’s getting a sequel. Plus, the rest of that film was good. If Hypnotic was better, then the ending would be acceptable, as it is, it’s just a disappointing dessert to a letdown of a dinner.
Ferrari – Unhappy Ending
The wife dies and finally, his illegitimate son can be recognised as his heir. This is seen as a happy ending, but really it just feels kind of mean. It kind of backs up my theory that the writers saw her as the villain of the film, rather than a woman who was cheated on and emotionally abused for decades.
Cat Person – Here We Go Again
It looks like she’s going to go through the same cycle again and again, so she’s not developed as a character. Kind of makes it feel like the entire film is a massive waste of time
The Flash – George Clooney
If the DCEU was going to continue, I’d be into this, as we’d be getting a sequel showing the new world that Barry Allen is now in. But because the series won’t continue, we’re just left with an unfinished story. It reminds me of the ending of Tim Burton’s Planet Of The Apes, only more annoying because it links into an already established universe.

Winner

Scream VI – Reveal/everyone lives
Scream is a slasher franchise, but it is also at its core, a murder mystery. Part of the fun has always been to piece together clues to work out who the killer is. That’s part of why the third one gets so much vitriol, because the reveal feels unearned compared to the others. I am one of the few people who will defend the reveal in the third movie, I won’t defend the one in this one though. It’s far too obvious. Horror screenwriters/directors must realise that every audience realises that if a named character dies offscreen in a slasher movie, they’re not dead. If the film cuts away before they die; the odds are that person is still alive. With that in mind, the reveal of the killers isn’t just obvious, it’s the only possible solution. The other thing that annoyed me about the ending of this is that all the core members of the group survive, even with one of them being stabbed multiple times. If this is where the studio wants to go, then the future does not look bright for this franchise. And that’s before the director of Scream VII leaving, and the absence of two of the main stars, one for scheduling reasons, and one for committing the heinous crime of saying genocide is bad.

Godzilla Minus One (2023) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Koichi Shikishima is a failed World War 2 kamikaze pilot who returns home and decides to earn his forgiveness by helping a homeless woman and her child in the destroyed ruins of Tokyo. Oh, there’s also a giant reptilian monster rampaging around the country killing people.

Godzilla movies always have so much potential, both positive and negative. They can showcase a director’s ability to use a sense of scale to create a spectacle, something you HAVE to see at the cinema because the big screen does it better. It can also be an overly CGI mess where the producers think they don’t need to bother with a story because “monster makes boom” (by which I mean “monster destroys city and buildings explode”, not “monster shits himself”, nobody wants to watch a monster shit, which is why the 90’s Godzilla movie is regarded so badly). There was almost no cinema chatter of Godzilla Minus One (GMO, pronounced Gee-Moe) pre-release, they didn’t play the trailer, no posters put up etc. There was a small amount of internet hype, almost all of it saying it’s incredible.

It is.

I know, you’re expecting something more in-depth, but that’s all there is to it. This is an excellent flick. Usually, the key to a film like this is simple; you subtly build up the threat and then reveal it in all their glory in the final act; blowing the audience’s mind with how impressive it is. Or you show them early but hide them in shadows or with trees. Minus One takes a different approach, showing the titular ‘ziller in its full glory in the opening, then showing them again as they undergo nuclear-infused evolution. But this isn’t just about the big G, the human story is the one that actually carries the narrative, and it’s a damn compelling watch. This is a story that only really works in post-war Japan, a country that just lost the war, suffered nuclear explosions, and yet still carries a sense of deep pride. The reaction to Koichi returning to his home isn’t “Oh you survived, Thank fuck for that, everybody here died and we’ve suffered great losses, but it’s good that at least one person returned home”, instead it’s “You survived? Coward. If you did your job, we might have won”. In most other countries that would be dismissed as absurd, but in Japan it works. So when Koichi is haunted not just by the giant lizard with the capital G, but by his own personal failings, it makes sense. He doesn’t just suffer survivor’s guilt, it’s also a deep personal shame to him that he didn’t do his duty. So when, later on in the film, he has a plan to fly directly into the mouth of G-Z Rider and detonate a device, it makes complete sense that he would attempt that. The audience knows he has a death wish, so it doesn’t feel like a lazy attempt at drama.

Weird thing to say, but even with the radioactive lizard, this would still be a compelling story. But the addition of the nuclear-powered scaly disaster adds things you couldn’t do otherwise. His giant beam of death is now more reminiscent of a nuclear bomb going off, which adds another jerry can of nightmare fuel. The Queen Liz isn’t as big as it has been in previous iterations, you’d think this would make him less scary, nope, more so. Previously, it’s felt like he’s been shown as a sort of protector of earth, humanity was so small to him that they didn’t register as a problem, so he was only used to fight other large threats. Because he’s smaller, he can see humans, they register to him, and he REALLY does not like them. This isn’t a monster that accidentally kills people like we think our benefits systems does, this is one that is actively trying to kill people, like our benefits system actually does.

The fact that this was done on such a small budget is mind-blowing. There are a few moments where the lack of budget is noticeable, but mostly it looks impressive. The Atoll Atrocity Animal (well, lizard) does occasionally resemble a man in a suit/model, but at least doing it that way instead of CGI means it does still feel like something you can physically touch (not in a sexy way, don’t have sex with a killer kaiju). I recently watched a trailer for Godzilla X Kong: The New Empire and I messaged someone “Is it just me or does this look fake as shit?”. It looks overly CGI and more like a video game. This isn’t a “booo new” viewpoint. This is an “I’m glad both of these versions can exist”. If you want a monster movie, you can wait for GxK, if you want a human story with a monster, you have GMO. Don’t be bad we have both, be delighted we have the option.

Godzilla Vs. Kong (2021)

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One of thing most annoying things for me about the pandemic has been the closure of cinemas. Don’t get me wrong, certain films are great to watch at home, and there are quite a few where the location doesn’t matter. But there are some where you NEED to watch them at the cinema. You need the big screen, the darkness, the pageantry of the cinema experience. Some films I was looking forward to, I have watched them at home and still liked them (The Mitchells Vs. The Machines etc). But this? I avoided this at home because I knew I NEEDED to see it at the cinema. I’m not watching these films for the plots and the dialogue, I’m watching them because they’re spectacle, and it’s harder to get immersed in spectacle cinema when you have to change the volume so it can be heard over building work, you are aware of daylight, or there’s a cat clawing at your bedroom door because they’re desperate for attention.

A big worry for me coming into this was how overpowered Godzilla was compared to Kong. The film rectifies this by making it so Kong is older and much larger than the last time we saw him. On the upside that means the sizes match up. On the downside, and I’m not entirely sure if it was deliberate or not, but Kong looks old. This isn’t Kong as Rocky, this is Kong as Rocky in Creed, he looks exhausted.

Now onto the scale, there are a few moments where we truly get to see how massive Kong and Godzilla (referred to in this movie as Titans) really are, you place them alongside humans and it provides an impressive visual. You don’t really get the same effect when they’re next to buildings for some reason. It might be because during these moments they’re filmed from an angle that’s high and wide so you can get the entire fight in. But this means you lose all sense of scale, the Titans become your measurement for height, because the buildings they’re fighting amongst get destroyed so quickly that they’re ineffective for measurement sake. So having them tower over buildings doesn’t make the Titans look big, it makes the building look small. This film DESPERATELY needed more low angle shots of the fights.

Other than that, the fights themselves are actually pretty damn entertaining. You know what you’re getting in a film like this, you’re not going to get a John Wick style action scene, you’re just going to get two mountains smashing into each other, and that’s what you get. I will say this, the punches look like they hurt. It’s not like Transformers where it looks like interchangeable things just banging against each other, you feel the pain every time one of these monsters is hit.

Praise also has to go to the moment where they enter Hollow Earth, which they need a map to find, because going straight down isn’t an option for some reason (although later in the film Godzilla finds it just by fire-digging straight through the floor, so it’s inconsistent). A world where it’s basically the inside of a circle and the world is round, but inverted. So you’re always on the floor and gravity changes depending which side of the ball you’re on. It contains truly impressive visuals and would lend itself to some truly inventive action set pieces, if they spent more time in it. See, that moment is just for about 20 minutes. They genuinely could have got an entire film out of that. There’s no way that was cheap, so it’s baffling to think they spent that much on something so small when it could have been the basis of something much bigger. It does lead to a cool moment of Kong sitting on a throne, but then the film continues. Surely the entire Hollow Earth sub-plot should have been it’s own movie, and then you end the film with Kong sitting on the throne? You don’t throw all of that into the middle of this, it’s an incredibly poor choice from a narrative standpoint. Especially since Godzilla HEAVILY dominates this franchise, this is the 4th movie with him in, but only the second Kong. If they did the second Kong movie set in Hollow Earth, then THAT sets off the events of this film, it would feel more even. And you wouldn’t have so many characters to introduce. The last Kong film was set far in the past, so this features no characters from that. There are two returning Godzilla characters that I can recognise, there might have been more, but the characters from those films have left zero impact on me with the exceptions of the two in this, and 3 others who I think are dead I can’t remember.

That’s not the only negative. Nobody watches these for the human characters, but we spend so much time with them that they should be written well. There are some amusing lines with one of the subplots, but they don’t feel natural. It feels like they wrote the jokes and then did the story to fit them in (it definitely seems like they did that with some of the other scenes too). It never feels natural, is incredibly overwritten, plus having that many comedic moments means you never feel scared. There are two (well, three at the end) giant beings beating the crap out of each other and not caring about the collateral damage to humans. That should be utterly TERRIFYING to the human characters, but they don’t seem that bothered by it. They seem more focused on “but what if the monsters get hurt?”

As you can probably guess, the script is pretty poor. Managing to feel both bloated and rushed at the same time. The hollow earth scenes I mentioned? Guess how they impact the script? It’s how they get the power for Mecha Godzilla. Yup, a good chunk of the film is essentially “we’re picking up a battery”. That takes up a good two thirds of the film. I’m not saying open the film with Mecha Godzilla (oh yeah, that’s the main non-human villain btw, for one scene), but at least have it so it seems like the script is naturally building towards it, hint towards it instead of it just being there.

So in summary: watch this at the cinema, you will only watch it for the visuals anyway. Although I should note, the visuals aren’t always great. During action scenes they look fine, but when people are just talking? The visuals look kind of ugly a lot of the times there. It’s weird.

2019 In Film Day 2: The Meh

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These are films I really didn’t like, but at least had the decency to contain one thing to admire about them.

Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil And Vile

This is a good movie. It just wasn’t for me. I was kind of bored by the whole thing. That might have been me and my expectations. But it felt like it was hiding a much more interesting story than the one it actually told. It was basically Ted Bundy not killing people.

Original review here

+Efron is great.

-Not really necessary

Glass

I’m more excited about what comes next, but I’m not even sure if anything will come next. I felt the same about Unbreakable, I felt somewhat underwhelmed, but I was interested in what comes next. I didn’t dislike it enough to hate it, I found it hard to feel anything about.

Original review here

+Interesting idea

-A lot of the film is “do these people actually have superpowers?” when we know they do. So it’s a complete waste of time.

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters

This is here purely for the scale. It’s massive, and it all looks real. Just a shame the rest of the film is so damn mediocre.

Original review here

+The look. It looks so damn superb. So many of the scenes look like oil paintings.

-How exactly is King Kong supposed to match him?

Ma

This film is a very slow build to the final moment. It’s an old-school horror approach that is risky to attempt to pull off in the modern age. It wasn’t helped by how the advertising all focused on the final third, so you thought that’s what the film was like. The main issue is that you know what it’s all building up to, but it keeps pulling back from reaching that point. This film could have naturally been about 20 to 30 minutes shorter.

Original review here

+The closing stretch is immensely satisfying.

-Drags too much in places.

Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

This is entirely personal taste. I was not a fan of this. I found it incredibly boring and I didn’t like the characters enough to spend time with them when the story was dragging. It looked great, and it felt completely authentic. A lot of people I know love this, and I do get it, it just wasn’t for me, at all.

Original review here

+The closing section is insanely brilliant.

-Did you know Tarantino likes feet? You will after this.

Sometimes Always Never

This just makes it into this blog and not the previous. Like so close. The only thing saving this? The general warmth of the whole thing. The way the characters interact with each other is incredibly sweet and warm. It’s lovely, so heartwarming that it brings the film up higher than the rest of it. The cast too. Its just a shame it’s a bit too twee at times, the cinematic equivalent of a government department making an anti-immigration campaign using a fucking ukulele.

Original review here

+Very twee

-Sometimes too much so

Yesterday

I think this film would be rated higher if it wasn’t for Blinded By The Light. By comparison, this film is incredibly hollow. Blinded By The Light (or BBTL as all the cool kids call it) was a genuine love letter to an artist, full of compassion and warmth and deep love, this was the work of someone who owns the greatest hits album of a band and nothing else. The kind of dick who only goes to gigs if they’re at stadiums, and considers Cher “rock and roll”. BBTL only really works as a Springsteen film, with Springsteen and the film working in equal harmony. With this the film came first, and The Beatles came second. Also, for a film about The Beatles, this spent a lot of time talking about how great Ed Sheeran was. It seemed to have no genuine love for the band it’s based on.

Original review here

+Cute concept and the main relationship works

-It makes a joke about Oasis not existing, but also says the guy won a talent show singing Wonderwall. No consistency

2010’s In Film Day 4 (2014)

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January – Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones

This is probably the biggest horror franchise which I’ve completely ignored. No idea why as I’ve heard the first one is quite good, I’ve just had no interest in them. I was going to do them for Halloween blog last year but I accidentally purchased the mockbuster version instead. Maybe it would have been funnier to do those films instead, but I had so little free time in October that I didn’t want to waste it watching bad films.

February – Robocop

How is this not bigger? Maybe it was a timing thing. The general feeling of Obama’s America was more hopeful than it is now. Now everything seems bleak and horrible. We’re a few days into the year and the political climate is heating up (as is the actual climate, as the devastation to Australia has proven), there’s cynicism and hatred everywhere. Nobody has any hope that the future will get better. Even people who support the parties in charge think the future will suck for a lot of people “but it will be worth it to get blue passports”. So maybe now is the time we need a Robocop film.

March – Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I feel this is the most important movie in the MCU. Not so much because of the story, but because of the quality of the film. This was when Marvel movies went from dumb fun to capable of brilliance. This is where comic book movies stopped being a genre and started being a subdivision of other genres as diverse as spy thrillers, space comedies, and family dramas. All that’s left now is a comic book horror movie. For more of my thoughts, read here.

April – The Amazing Spiderman 2

A month after The Winter Soldier wowed audiences, this came out. I feel those two things are linked. Since the MCU started, a lot of other franchises have been attempted. Not many have worked, probably due to the fact that it took the MCU a while to get going, and people forget this. People think all the Marvel movies started being connected, yet The Incredible Hulk was a standalone movie, the only reference to Iron Man being a short post-credits scene (well the only obvious reference anyway). It was possible to enjoy those films on their own, yet a lot you can’t, they spend far too much time setting up future franchises that they don’t really spend enough time on it’s own story (biggest offender is The Mummy reboot a few years ago).

May – Godzilla

Now, this is a potentially better franchise. Kong and Godzilla work as standalone films and are great spectacle films. I feel age has been kind to this film, there was a lot of disappointment when the film came out. That was mainly because it had Bryan Cranston in it and people expected him to be the main character, so when he died and was replaced with Aaron Taylor-Johnson it was bound to rub fans up the wrong way. Yet if you know about it and watch it again then it’s actually quite an impressive piece of film-making. It’s not a film that you’ll love, but if you have an impressive enough television and sound set-up then it’s a great way to spend an evening with people. A few years ago I watched the Planet Of The Apes trilogy over New Years eve, I feel the two Godzilla movies and Kong would also make a great thing to watch like that. Have a few people round and have the film in the background as you chat shit and eat cheese. This film also has a REALLY creepy piece of music.

June – Oculus

This was the first film I watched with my Cineworld card, and it remains the worst cinema experience I have ever had, to the point where it soured me on the movie. The lights came on about 10 minutes before the film ended, completely ruined the experience. You don’t realise how lights affect the cinema experience but it does. As soon as those lights came on it deflated the room, it took everyone out of the movie. I do need to watch this film again to give it a fair go, I feel the constant “it’s real! no it’s not! yes it is! no it’s not!” fake outs would still annoy me, but maybe not as much.

July – Guardians Of The Galaxy

I feel people have forgotten what happened before this film came out. It seemed destined for failure. A lot of people were saying it’s going to be the first bomb of the MCU. That a film featuring characters most people don’t know, featuring actors a lot of people don’t know, set in space, wouldn’t work. That it would fail, and fail HARD. Just goes to show, nobody has any idea what will work. People expected The Lone Ranger to be huge, and I bet you completely forgot that film existed until now. Again, my thoughts here.

August – Sin City 2

The time between this and the first film: 9 years. That film was a success, this was bombed. Just goes to show the importance of timing when it comes to sequels. If you do them too soon then the audience will get burned out (think of the game series with yearly release cycles), yet if you space them too far apart then the audience either won’t care, or society would have moved on beyond what you’re making (best example of this is the Duke Nukem game). I don’t know why this is so much worse than the first one, it just feels less than. It feels like the first one was a labour of love, and this one was in pursuit of fans of the first one. I could be wrong, and usually am.

September – Life After Beth

I love this film. I know it’s not the greatest film of all time, but it’s unique and very funny. The closest film is Shaun Of The Dead, but that’s only in terms of genre as they’re both zombie rom-coms. When it comes to style and tone, this is a completely different bushel of bananas. Something about this film feels very 90’s or late 80’s. It would be easy to imagine this as a brat pack John Hughes movie. I haven’t said it yet in this blog, but I highly recommend this film. Even if you don’t like it, I very much doubt you’ll be bored.

October – Gone Girl

So damn creepy and dark. I saw What We Did On Our Holidays about 2 weeks before, a very different performance from Rosamund Pike. It also has the best Tyler Perry performance ever. To the point where you almost forgive him for the Madea movies (I feel I’m being mean to those movies considering I’ve never seen them, they could be comedic classics that I love, but after watch the trailers, I sincerely doubt it). Again, I highly recommend you watch this film, but you will need to prepare something nice for after. This film will drain you, but not in a way that makes you feel empty (if that makes sense). It will emotionally kill you, but when some films do that they leave you unable to speak for a while. This is the opposite, you’ll come out talking a lot. It also has the best blu-ray presentation ever. It comes with a childs book that is kind of nice, but when you read it in the context of the film, it’s horrifying. This, and Life After Beth, heavily inspired us to make this.

November – The Drop

Wait, I saw this just after Gone Girl? Damn 2014 was great. I thought this film would be kind of standard “Boston gangster” film. It’s GREAT though. A huge part of that is Tom Hardy, this is the film where I fell in love with him as an actor. It made me realise he gives great performances. I truly believe he’s probably the greatest actor around at the moment, every role he has he throws himself completely into it. He doesn’t really have a performance “type”. He’s helped in this film by the script though It’s so fucking good. It takes you by surprise every step of the way and will hook you in for the duration. Not just a great film, a very very smart one too.

December – St. Vincent

An annoying film. Because it’s really good. It’s smart, funny, and touching. But the worst thing about it is Melissa McCarthy is REALLY good in it. As such it’s disappointing when you see so many films where she returns to type. It also shows another side to Bill Murray, a slightly sadder and softer side. Bill Murray is lucky he’s Bill Murray. Seriously, watch films he’s in and imagine his character is played by another actor, you would HATE that character. Most of his characters are arseholes, complete dicks. Yet somehow he makes them work. Lucky bastard.

Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019)

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The best way to describe this film: effective. It did what it needed to. You go to it to see giant monsters hit each other, and that’s what you get. And those parts are good. The monsters themselves look fantastic, mostly. There’s a few where they look a bit too much like they belong in a PS2 video game. Also one of them looks like it’s kinda sexualised, which for a giant monster is kind of weird. Now, the humans. A complaint of the first Godzilla film was that the people weren’t that interesting (outside of Bryan Cranston who died early on), and this film definitely improves on that. Millie Bobby Brown’s character, in particular, is a delight and will make you feel all the emotions, the rest? Not so much. That’s probably because there’s so many of them so you don’t really get to connect with many of them. And the ones you do connect with are, well there’s no kind way of saying this, kind of dumb. Not only do the characters doing shitty things do them for stupid reasons, but the people opposed to them miss out on giving them a really obvious armour-piercing response (partly because if they did I don’t think the writers could have given them a good response). But yeah, a lot of the characters aren’t needed. Sally Hawkin’s character, in particular, seems like a complete waste of her talents. Did they not see Shape Of Water? She’s really really good, guys, and you have her in for about 2 minutes. And it’s not even done in a way like Psycho where it’s shocking to kill of an established actor to set off an “anything can happen” tone because her death is incredibly underwhelming to the point where I can’t actually remember it happening.

It’s not all bad though, the action scenes are actually well-defined so you can tell what’s happening, it doesn’t just look like an incomprehensible mess. That’s always the hard part, Transformers is a great example of really incomprehensible action scenes. To be honest, though I think part of that is because it’s live action and I feel the new version of The Lion King could have similar problems. In animation, each character (well the main ones anyway) are visually unique in terms of colour schemes and stylised looks. Yet when it becomes live-action you kind of lose that in the name of “realism”. There was a concern that could happen here, that it would all just look like blobs and fur randomly hitting each other. Thankfully that’s not the case, the monsters are all visually unique, and amazingly they all have personalities too. They’re not mindless things with an appetite for destruction, slashing through cities in a November rain.

This film is A LOT bigger than the previous one, everything is amped up. Which brings me up to the big downside; what happens next. The next film is Godzilla Vs. Kong. But in this film, Godzilla is a fire-breathing giant. There’s no contest, Godzilla is too overpowered by comparison. I can’t see how they’re going to make it seem like a fair fight, it’s like having Mike Tyson vs. Stephen Hawking in a boxing match, after Hawking died.