Tag: Death On The Nile

A Haunting In Venice (2023) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick synopsis: (sing to the tune of Eleanor Rigby) Agatha Christie, puts a Poirot in a house where a murder has been, ghosts cause a scene.

I very much enjoyed the Branagh version of Murder On The Orient Express (or MOTOE, pronounced Moe-toe). I wasn’t quite as enamoured by Death On The Nile (or DOTN, pronounced Dot-en) but it had its moments. With both of those I had some sense of expectation going in, I had witnessed the trailers enough times that I had a general idea of what to expect. This? This felt like it was secretly released. This is the blindest I’ve gone into one of these, I was aware of how MOTOE ended and had a general idea about DOTN, but I knew nothing about A Haunting In Venice (AHIV, pronounced A-heev). It’s (loosely) based on Halloween Party, which is not exactly a well-known Christie book. So it would have been useful if the studio bothered to promote it AT ALL to let the audience know what they were in for. I didn’t see a single trailer being played at the cinema and very few posters. There didn’t seem to be any excitement pre-release, it just felt like the studio was saying “Okay it’s out now, deal with it”, treating it with all the pomp and circumstance of a silent fart.

I was really hoping my trepidation was wrong and that this wouldn’t turn out to be as painful as a hole in the head. It’s……..alright. It’s decent enough and doesn’t reach the lowlights of DOTN, but it doesn’t come anywhere close to the highlights of MOTOE. Part of that is because the mystery itself just isn’t as narratively satisfying. It’s not set up well enough, the clues aren’t given in such a way that you could conceivably guess the ending and important points are moved past VERY quickly. It also pulls the “maybe magic, maybe mundane” card too much. It’s explored brilliantly with the séance scene, where Poirot works out how they’re pulling off the tricks. But then later on you have the main villain seemingly killed by a ghost. The fun in a film like this is seeing how it’s done, so when death is reduced to “a ghost did it” it cheapens it somewhat.

The performances are all pretty damn good, but I do wish we got more Yeoh. Branagh continues to shine as the lead and is usually the most captivating presence on screen. Part of that might be because of the strange directorial choices. Branagh doesn’t have much of a background in horror movies, and that much is clear in this. The physical geography of some of the scenes is a bit muddled, and there are some moments where it feels like the characters are reacting to camera movements, which obviously don’t exist in their reality, so really they’re reacting to nothing.

It does have some highlights; the aforementioned séance is a lot of fun to watch unfold. The puppet story about the plague children is hauntingly beautiful, and the ending is nice to watch.

In summary; a spooky detective story that is essentially unessential.

2022 Film Awards Day 3: The Personal

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Well I Liked It

Films which I liked, but others didn’t, whether it’s reviews or the general public.

Thor: Love And Thunder (RT Score: 64, Metacritic: 57)

It’s weird, a few years ago Marvel films were all overrated, being described as “the best films ever, they should win Oscars” but now it feels like the opposite has happened, and they’re being looked down on by Marvel fans. A lot of the time it basically comes down to one of two things:

  1. It didn’t have things the audience expected it to. This was especially prevalent for Multiverse Of Madness, in which I’ve seen people genuinely annoyed that Tom Cruise wasn’t in it as an alternate version of Iron Man. There was zero indication he was ever going to be, but that doesn’t matter, these guys heard someone say it on the internet and expected it to be true.

  2. “Too woke”. Which basically means, “It has a woman in it and she’s not overly sexualised or a damsel in distress”

I actually liked this, yeah it’s not the best film ever but it’s not the total piece of shit that some fans say it is. It has genuine emotion and deep themes. Plus the child actor is actually adorable to watch.

Death On The Nile (RT Score: 62, Metacritic: 52)

I don’t get the bile people have for this film. Is it great? Nope, and it’s definitely not as good as the first one, but it’s not terrible. Yes, the CGI for the backgrounds is lacking, but it is an entertaining film to watch. Other films did similar things better, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t a good film. Just because chocolate cake exists and is delicious, doesn’t mean eclairs aren’t good too.

Winner

Bullet Train (RT Score: 54, Metacritic: 49)

This genuinely baffles me. This is a fantastic film, featuring some of the best action scenes you’ll likely to see. It also has a great soundtrack, is very funny, and has some really good performances. It’s over 2 hours long (including credits) but doesn’t feel it. Is the low score based on the fact it’s a bit sweary? I’d settle for a 7-8 out of 10 for this, but for it to be rated SO low by critics is disappointing. I’m guessing critics just hate fun things.

I Don’t Get It

Men (RT Score; 69 [nice], Metacritic: 65)

Not a fan for one reason and one reason only; I’m not really a fan of weird mood pieces. It set up a plot and depended on the weirdness and mood to carry it through. I wanted to have some idea and grounding as to why it was happening. I don’t need my hand held for every little thing, but I want some idea of the reality.

Winner

Licorice Pizza (RT Score: 91, Metacritic: 90)

This got a lot of love from people. Some people truly loved it and considered it a masterpiece. It also did very well in terms of award nominations. It’s just, I personally couldn’t get past the ages of the people involved. A love story between a 15-year-old and a 25-year-old is not something I want to see, I just find it gross.

Most Surprising

Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers

I had every expectation that this would actually be terrible, turned out to be one the funniest films of the year. It’s incredibly self-aware, and much smarter than you’d think. It’s on par with The Lego Movie in how entertaining it is. Ordinarily, I’d be worried whether my nostalgia is clouding my judgement, whether my growing up on it means that I’m either predisposed to loving this movie because “hey, these characters existed when I had hope, that means they’re good”, or alternatively, it would make me hate it because “His eye colour is Egyptian Blue in the original, here it’s Persian Blue, worst film ever!”. I can safely say that’s not the case because I never watched these characters as a child, and as such, couldn’t give a shit.

Confess, Fletch

“Oh boy, a remake of an 80’s Chevy Chase movie, this is going to be good,” said nobody. Remakes are generally not good. Especially not remakes that are pushed out with zero advertising. It was just kind of put out there for a week. It had all the hallmarks of a film that the studio was ashamed of. I don’t get that, it’s a lot of fun to watch, has a decent story, and has genuine franchise potential. It got really good reviews both from reviewers and audiences. So it feels like a case of “those who watched it, liked it, but not many people watched it”.

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

I like trailers. I don’t obsess over them and watch them desperate for details. But if I’m about to see something, I will usually watch a trailer beforehand just so I know what to expect. I purposely didn’t do that with this. I had somehow landed myself in a situation where I heard almost nothing about this. All I know was “something to do with multiverses” and “it’s very good”. I was kind of excited to go in knowing that little. I prepared for something very good, and what I got was something incredible. I expected it to be good, but I didn’t expect to fall in love with it as much as I did.

Winner

Orphan: First Kill

The first one is a, well, “modern classic” is pushing it a bit, but it’s certainly earned its place as a good showcase of modern horror. But it was built around a killer twist, a twist which the audience will know going into this one. It’s also a prequel, and those are never good. So how can this work? How can it be anything but a colossal (well, medium) failure? By being really f*cking good, that’s how. Also by pulling off a much better twist than the original, because you don’t know there’s a twist. You assume everything is going as it should, then when the reveal of a character’s true intention is revealed, it suddenly explains a lot of things. I loved this film, and considering I expected it to be terrible, the fact it’s one of my favourite horror films of the year says a lot. Are other films in this category better? Yes, easily. But the gap between “how good this film is” and “how shit I thought it would be” can’t be beaten.

Most Disappointing:

Firestarter

Why do so many films mess up King adaptations? Dark Tower was a mess, IT: Chapter 2 was disappointing, and this? This is just bad. It’s a shame as a character like this should be updated. The world we live in now is very different from the world we lived in when the original film was released (except for the threat of nuclear destruction from Russia). It would be interesting to see how the modern military would react to someone with these powers, and what would happen in an internet world where any incidents can be shared online instantly. Sadly, this film isn’t interested in showing any of those things. The only way it could be more predictable is if it actually played the Prodigy song, but at least then it would have some energy.

The 355

I thought this was going to be the first movie I saw in 2022, luckily it wasn’t, it would have kicked the year off on a somewhat sour note. It feels like it thinks that putting women in a generic spy movie is somehow groundbreaking. Without gender, it’s the same film you’ve seen many times before. Stunningly predictable, and with bland action scenes. Just not good enough for a modern audience.

Unhuman

This should be gayer. I don’t know how to explain it, but it should be. It does some good things with the villain reveal, but you can’t watch it and not feel like you’re watching a PG edit of a 15-rated film.

Winner

Halloween Ends

Obviously, this wins. I really enjoyed the first two (well, technically the second and third, or the eleventh and twelfth), to the point where Halloween Kills is genuinely one of my favourites in the franchise. But this? A steaming pile of shit would be kind. It feels like it was written on a napkin by someone who hadn’t watched the others. This is not the movie that the previous two set up. It seems like they were so focused on subverting expectations they forgot to make it workable. You can’t have the final Halloween movie barely feature Michael Myers, and you’re a dumbass if you think you can.

Worst Movie

The Bubble

This is bad. It’s such a waste of so many talented people. It feels like Apatow just got everybody to make shit up, and kept the worst options from every take. The pacing is terrible, it completely wastes what could be a good comedic sequence of them in quarantine. Absolutely nothing about it works. It focuses on the wrong characters, and the characters it does focus on aren’t likeable, but aren’t really detestable enough to be the figures of hate the film portrays them as. I’m not even nominating anything else, because this is such a colossal failure that nothing deserves to be compared to it.

Best Film

Belle

I saw this relatively early on last year, and it immediately disqualified quite a few films I saw prior to being nominated for this award. The difference between this, and films I liked that came before it in 2022 was huge. I am so glad I saw this, and I immediately told my friends about it. It’s hauntingly beautiful, and I am still occasionally emotionally affected by the flashbacks. If this was a different year, this might have won, but it was SUCH a stacked year in terms of quality films.

Fall

There’s a moment in this film where a ladder snaps and the character is left hanging in the air. At this point in the screening I attended, someone a few rows over just stood up, said “nope, fuck that” and left. There were a few moments when I considered joining him. It’s so well done that I couldn’t watch it, it was too tense. There’s a part of my brain that sees the things that happen in this and go “nope, that’s a bad thing to do”. Despite the fact it is obviously fictional, you get lost in the world so convincingly that your brain forgets it’s not real.

The Batman

Mainly for the fact that it’s only 20 minutes away from being the same length as Avatar: The Way Of Water, yet never feels it. I would watch this again, in fact, I did. I saw it twice at the cinema and was just as into it the second time. I’m not even sure I want to watch a trailer for Way Of Water again. It is not a perfect film, but it is the best comic book MOVIE in a while. It feels actually mature (rather than what it usually means when people say “we’ve made a mature comic book movie”: tits and guns). It also does the best job of showing WHY Batman does what he does.

Glass Onions: A Knives Out Mystery

Trust me, any other year, this could have won, I know people who have watched this multiple times already, and I don’t blame them. Everything about it works. It’s funny, it’s clever, and it’s just so damn entertaining to watch. I still count it as one of the best films I’ve seen and is definitely in my top 50, maybe top 10. So why isn’t it top? Because it was against something magnificent.

Winner

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Of course, it’s this. Nothing else could even come close. This is one of the best things I have ever seen in my life. This truly had everything I want in a film. It was funny, it had great action scenes, good music, yet it was also incredibly heartbreaking. I didn’t think a scene of two rocks talking to each other could make me feel as tearful as it did here. This should be a mess, it tries to do SOOO much, and the things it tries to do all have different tones. It balances the silliness of dildo fights, and the meaning of existence and trauma. It’s weirdly existential and nihilistic at the same time. This isn’t just film, this was a life-changing experience.

2022 In Film: Day Seven (The Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Black Adam

Ups: One of the stronger DC films of last few years.

Genuinely surprising twist.

Is nice to see a big budget super hero film without a white protaganist.

Has genuine emotion.

Downs: Underwritten villain.

Generic plot

Needs to be more violent.

Doesn’t explain some characters well enough.

Best Moment: The reveal. Has actual emotion and explains so much of what happened before.

Worst Moment: The final battle is a bit underwhelming.

Best Performer: Noah Centino. He has to be good otherwise the character would seem like a Deadpool/Ant-Man rip-off.

Opening: Flashback to 2600BC. Not a terrible way to start the film, slightly too over-stylized, but gets the job done. It does explain it all much quicker than similar films, so props for that.

Closing: Going to go with the post-credits scene here. Superman turns up, in Henry Cavill’s last performance in the role. I don’t think anything will happen with that now so seems a bit of a waste.

Best Line: “Tell them the man in black sent you.”, just before Black Adam rips someone in half. Needed more of that.

Original Review here

Catch The Fair One

Ups: Script is very good at realising the darkness in humanity.

Says a lot about how kidnapping is treated by people, especially when it happens to non-white people.

Downs: You might find it a bit too bleak, to be expected given the subject matter.

Best Moment: The kidnapping. Only because it’s so naturally done. There’s no dramatic music leading up to it. It’s unexpected and shocking. There’s a lot of choices in this though; the missing persons group was also up there for being chosen

Worst Moment: Going to be a bit weird, but I’m chosing an argument between the main character and her mother. It’s REALLY good, but it’s not followed up on. If they followed it up, this would be a difficult section because there are no weak scenes. But with a scene THAT good being worthless, feels like a waste.

Best Performer: Kali Reis

Opening: Training for a boxing match. The sparring session is done as a 30-second one-take that highlights how physically impressive a performer she is. That’s to be expected though, as she is a boxer. It has a weirdly haunting score too. So far, so good, but standard. Then she wakes up and you notice there’s blood on the bed. Something so simple yet added so much.

Closing: Dream sequence. I get why, it’s the only way the film could get a narrative sense of closure, and it is realistic that these stories don’t have happy endings, but fucking hell. Also a wasted opportunity, providing websites and information in the closing credits could have been useful.

Best Line: “Fuck this I’m sorry”. I know, on its own it’s not great. But as a response to “if you’re daughter was still here, what would you say to her?”. That sentence, said by a quite muscly MAN, who then storms out. Says so much about fatherhood, masculinity, and grief.

Original Review here

Death On The Nile

Ups: A fun well-crafted murder mystery that wrongfoots you constantly and makes you feel like an idiot for not getting it.

Downs: Some of the CGI is a bit weak.

Gal Gadot has terrible line delivery at times.

Arnie Hammer

Best Moment: The reveal. A story like this lives and dies by the ending. This gets it right and delivers it with great tension.

Worst Moment: The moment where one of the bodies is found could be done a little better.

Best Performer: Kenneth Branagh, obviously.

Opening: Poirot at war. Showing how he used his deductive skills to help his squadron advance. Mainly there to show his human side, and explain his moustache. But it hints at something I now want: Poirot before he was a detective, using his skills in other situations.

Closing: Poirot sitting at a jazz club, sans moustache (as in, without moustache, that’s not the name of the club). Provides a bit of breathing space at the end, but otherwise is just a bit meh.

Best Line: “oh he accuses everyone of murder” “it’s a problem, I admit”

Original Review here

Emily

Ups: Ambitiously directed by Frances O Connor (she has a great future if she gets the right films).

Beautifully shot.

Brings a long-past time to life in an effective way.

Downs: The romance doesn’t quite work.

Quite dull for some of the opening.

The visual language is unclear for parts of it.

Best Moment: When the brother turns up. Mainly because the way Emily reacts to him makes her seem better as a person.

Worst Moment: The drunken conversation. Mainly because it’s weirdly edited.

Best Performer: Emma Mackay.

Opening: Emily is on her death bed and is asked what made her want to write. Yes, it’s a “how we got here” framing device. *sigh*

Closing: She dies. As you can tell from the opening. Would have been nice to have more information about her during the credits.

Best Line: Everyone’s strange if you look at them for long enough.

Original Review here

Midnight

Ups: The relationship between the two women is delightful. They have great physical chemistry that helps sell the family relationship between them.

Great shots.

Very funny at times.

Downs: A few shots could be a bit clearer.

Best Moment: A quick moment of Kim Kyung-mi in her job, dealing with an angry swearing (via sign language) woman. In response she simply raises her middle finger. Brilliant comedic timing and she does it so well. Weird to pick a comedic moment in a film like this I know.

Worst Moment: The opening murder could look a bit better. It’s fine going back to watch it, but on original watch it can be a bit difficult to place everybody.

Best Performer: Jin Ki-Joo

Opening: A woman misses a taxi and decides to walk home, but she gets murdered on the way. Tense way to open it, and the lighting is superb. Also sets up the killer as a manipulative bastard. It then goes into Kim Kyung-mi doing customer support via sign language, which is a weirdly comedic scene.

Closing: Characters sitting on a beach. It’s a nice coda to an earlier conversation. It’s not necessary, but it’s a really nice closer and means you end the film with a little bit of hope.

Best Line: Going to include a non-verbal one, the middle finger.

Original review here

Mr. Malcolm’s List

Ups: It’s nice to see a new period piece.

Well developed characters.

Funny.

Much smarter than similar films.

Emma Holly Jones could be a director to keep an eye on in the next few years. Great potential

Charming.

Downs: Not really very original.

Forgettable.

Best Moment: When the titular Mr. Malcolm is forced to defend his list. He makes a great point that he shouldn’t be criticised for daring to actually want to enjoy the company of the person expected to be his wife.

Worst Moment: Ending is a little cliche.

Best Performer: Freida Pinto, but Sope Dirisu is up there.

Opening: Julia goes on a date to the opera. It’s awkward as hell. Good way to start the film, and really wrongfoots you with Mr. Malcom’s personality.

Closing: They end up together. Obviously.

Best Line: “Love cannot be planned so carefully, my dear. It will stir things up a bit. That is part of its charm”

Original Review here

Nightmare Alley

Ups: It looks fantastic.

Tremendous performances.

Compelling story.

Downs: Music could be better.

Slightly misleading marketing.

Best Moment: Clem explains how he lures the geeks in. Lets you know how horrific the world really is, and it pays off beautifully.

Worst Moment: The murder/suicide doesn’t hit quite as it needs to.

Best Performer: Bradley Cooper. Normally not too impressed with him, but he’s great in this.

Opening: The lead burns a house down after putting a body under the floorboards. Great opening as it means you are instantly asking questions that you want answers to. You’re drawn in and want to watch.

Closing: He gets offered a job as a geek. “just a temporary job, as a fake one”. After his conversation earlier he knows what’s happening, and all he can do is accept it.

Best Line: “Find out what they’re afraid of and sell it back to them.”

Original Review here

Spirited

Ups: Fun.

Goes by quickly.

Downs: Ryan Reynolds character doesn’t seem evil enough.

A lot of the songs aren’t memorable enough.

Best Moment: The Good Afternoon song

Worst Moment: A child commits suicide. Don’t get me wrong, I think that was a narrative masterstroke, but it will annoy some people.

Best Performer: Ryan Reynolds

Opening: A woman apologising to the ghost of Christmas yet to come for her misdeeds. Already shows it’s interesting and new. Personally, I would have held off the reveal a few minutes more, if it was played straight for a few minutes then the reveal would have had a bigger impact. Props for being able to put that much sentimentality into a 5-minute sequence though.

Closing: The spirits now work other holidays too. Scrooge is back alive and married with kids.

Best Line: “He’s like the perfect combination of Mussolini and Seacrest.”

Original review here

The Lost City

Ups: Funny.

Well-crafted action scenes.

Radcliffe is having a blast.

Flies by much quicker than you’d expect.

Downs: Incredibly predictable.

Never gets better than “entertaining”

Best Moment: Someone getting shot in the head. Funny, and one of the few surprises in the script.

Worst Moment: “the real treasure was love”.

Best Performer: Channing Tatum.

Opening: Imaginary scene set in a book. Very fun, and sets the tone. Also makes good jokes about the fantasy romance action genre as a whole.

Closing: The two are together. Shockingly predictable.

Best Line: “I’m a woman; I can’t mansplain anything.” ” Uh, I’m a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do.”

Original Review here

White Building

Ups: There are some beautiful looking shots.

The tonal shift is well-earned.

Downs: One of the characters just leaves the film halfway through.

Quite dull at times.

Could do a better job of telling the audience the importance of the building.

Best Moment: The three friends trying to chat up three girls on an adjacent vehicle. Despite the fact it’s all taking place on two scooters it’s strangely normal. It’s just a group of guys trying (and failing) to impress a group. But it’s so genuine, the girls reactions are so cruel, and the guys are so desperate.

Worst Moment: A diseased foot. I was eating dinner at the time I was watching it, gross.

Best Performer: Chinnaro Soem. He’s not technically the best actor in the movie, he’s only really in the first half, but his undeniable charisma and the way he carries himself, he has undeniable star quality.

Opening: Aerial shots of buildings. It looks weirdly beautiful in a horrible way. The buildings are in a state of obvious need of repair, like the before in a stage of House Flipper (great game btw). Sets up the living standards well. It’s so quiet and weirdly peaceful too. Then we get two friends talking. Weird choice as the story is about three friends, but the fact we’re introduced to two of them,

Closing: The building is being knocked down. Seems to be genuine footage from the time. No music, done almost silently. The manner in which it’s shot, and the eerie stillness to the whole thing, bring to mind an execution. We then see the lead just sitting outside in the evening, soaking in the silence. Personally, I’d have stopped on the demolition, but I can see why they would go with the personal ending.

Best Line: “one day they turned up with trucks and guns, so those people didn’t get a penny for their house”. Explains so much. Not just about why people would accept selling their house to the government when they’re clearly not getting enough money for them. But also why people are acting the way they do, the government just doing that and everybody skipping over it says a lot about the town, and the fear they must have that something so horrific can be discussed so casually.

Original Review here

You Are Not My Mother

Ups: Kate Dolan is a hell of a director.

Shot like a drama, which makes the horror seem more realistic.

Gripping.

Downs: Writes itself into a corner where it opens doors it can’t close without disrupting the narrative.

Could be a bit slow for some people.

Best Moment: The dance scene. It’s got a really weird energy. It’s elegant and beautiful, but in a very aggressive way. And then an ankle breaks

Worst Moment: Some of the school scenes don’t work.

Best Performer: Carolyn Bracken. Almost entirely for the dance scene.

Opening: A baby in a pram in the middle of street in darkness. Such a simple but effective way to open the film. The baby is then taken to the woods by its grandmother, who lights a ring of fire around her. Instantly gets you asking questions.

Closing: The Mother is back, this time with a lucky token to keep her safe. A somewhat abrupt ending

Original Review here

Emily (2022)

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick synopsis: A biographical film about Emily Brontë, and the writing of her most famous work, a shopping list. No, wait, Wuthering Heights.

It’s weird, this film is supposed to be about the writing of Wuthering Heights, but it doesn’t feature Kate Bush at all. Plus it’s set in the 1840s instead of the 1970s. Such a basic lack of fact-checking. Oh, it turns out Wuthering Heights is not just a banger of a tune, it’s also a book (Books: they’re like television shows for your eyes), huh, the things you learn.

I’m not that familiar with Wuthering Heights, or the work of any of the Brontë sisters truth be told. I worried this would hinder my enjoyment of it. There was a high chance that I just wouldn’t vibe with this film, not just because I don’t know much about the sisters, but also because I tend to not like period films that much. And for a lot of this film’s opening, I was uninterested in this film. It felt like the characters were taking some things far too seriously and ignoring obvious truths which would reduce their anxiety. My fears were justified, I was bored, and I had started to tune out.

Now I’m about to say something I wish wasn’t true. The Brontë sisters are important in a literary sense, and are among the most famous female writers of all time, coming from a time when women were legally second-class citizens. So any story about them has to be feminist AF for it to work, which makes the following sentence make me feel shitty for saying: the film gets a lot better once her brother enters the spotlight more. There’s a turning point where he and Emily are talking and it tells you so much about who Emily is. It’s the first time you see the dynamism and excitement that she has. It’s the first time that she feels like an actual human instead of a character. The two actors have undeniable chemistry and I hope they work together in the future.

I have no idea how historically accurate this is, so I can’t judge it based on that. I can only judge on what I see, and what I see is slightly frustrating at times. As I said, the opening doesn’t do a great job of drawing you in, and the main romance that’s central to the plot feels lacking. Hard to explain why, they have good chemistry, and the way it ends is heartbreaking, it just doesn’t feel quite as real as it should. I think it’s because the meet-cute moment doesn’t land. As I said, the way it ends is brilliant, but the way it starts feels a bit rushed and forced. The performances are great though, the only time I’ve seen Emma Mackey in something was Death On The Nile, where I described her as “distractingly like Lucy Hale, but better”. None of that here, she is completely different and knocks every moment out of the park. Fionn Whitehead has a good energy to him, although I did spend a lot of the film wondering where I knew him from, I thought I was just getting him confused with Matthew Baynton, but now I know he was in possibly the best episode of Inside No. 9. I’m really looking forward to seeing what the two of them do next.

This is the first film directed by Frances O’Connor, best known for her performances in Mansfield Park, Importance Of Being Earnest, and Madame Bovary. I would not have guessed this is her first film as a director. It’s very ambitious, she doesn’t approach it as a standard period film, she uses handheld shots, dynamic camera movement during chases, and very dark colours to give it a slightly modern feel. It doesn’t always work, the scene where characters are getting drunk feels very poorly edited. I get what she was going for, but it didn’t really work. There are some moments when the visual language is unclear and it can be frustrating and difficult to watch. But when it’s good, it’s very good. Although I do have the feeling her future is not in period dramas, but in horror. There are a few scenes in here which are directed as if they’re in horror movies, and I’d love to see her do one. Not a modern slasher, but a retro-style ghost story.

It’s strange, I’m not sure I learnt any facts about Emily, but it did give me great insight into who she was. I’m not sure I could pass a multiple-choice exam on her, but this did give me an understanding of her character to the point where I could probably BS my way through an essay on her. Worth a watch, but not essential.

Death On The Nile (2022)

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick summary: There’s a death, on the Nile.

This had all the hallmarks of a bad movie:

  • Is a sequel
  • Heavily delayed
  • Released in February
  • Middling reviews

Let’s face it though, the reviews don’t count, as they didn’t like the first one either, and I loved it. If you enjoyed that, you’ll enjoy this too as it’s just more of the same. Ensemble cast playing suspicious characters locked in a location. It’s not quite as good as the first one though. It has a lot more wasted time. The first murder doesn’t happen for a long time, and a lot of that running time is somewhat wasted. Some of the performances aren’t that great either. I love Gal Gadot, but she gives some frankly abysmal line readings in this. The visuals aren’t as impressive either. There are some BEAUTIFUL shots in this, shots which take your breath away because of how stunning they are. But then there are scenes that seem too green-screened and fake. Plus there’s one piece of music that used silence too often to be effective.

It’s also awkward to watch Armie Hammer on screen, especially playing someone so sexual. You see him basically dry-humping someone, and in your head is the rape and cannibal accusations, which makes the whole thing slightly uncomfortable.

The rest of the cast is great though. There are some you wish had more to do, but everybody is given a chance to shine. Okonedo has the air of a diva, which is at odds with most roles she plays. Russell Brand gives the best performance he’s ever given. Emma Mackey is distractingly like Lucy Hale, but better (and with a better agent). The worst part of the ensemble cast is how they’re introduced, as part of a larger party, but they’re the only ones introduced, alongside an explanation of why they hate the soon to be victim. It’s a really unsubtle way of showing their potential motivations, there really should have been a better way of doing that.

I have been negative about this, but those are the only negative parts of a very positive film. It’s enthralling to watch and the closing section where Poirot gets pissed off and shuts down the boat is superb to watch, and his deduction is so much fun to see, it set the clues up well enough that you could have possibly figured it out before, nothing is worse than a “reveal” that comes completely out of left field with no foreshadowing. Also has genuine emotion, the handy thing about the delayed deaths is that by the time some of them happen, we are connected with those characters so we feel their deaths. The film also manages to avoid the cliche first-person POV shot of the killer attacking people while the victim stands there and screams “oh it’s you” vague stuff, never mentioning the names BS that harms lesser films. We don’t even know about the deaths until Poirot does. Characters are only known to be dead when he sees the body.

So in summary, a lot of fun, and definitely see it. You’ll enjoy it.

2010’s In Film Day 9 (2019+2020)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Something a bit different today. I’ll be doing the end of year roundup at the end of the month. I’ll also be doing the end of year awards too, as such I’m going to talk about the films I saw in 2019 quite a lot in the next few weeks. So if I talk about them here then I feel that will be too much repetition in a short time. So I’ve decided to approach this differently, I’m going to talk about films I didn’t see, whether my missing it was intentional, and whether I’m going to see them at any point. Because I feel that might be a short blog, I’m also adding films from 2020 that I’m looking forward to. Enjoy.

January

2019 – The Favourite

This won SOO many plaudits and awards, and that’s why I didn’t watch it. I felt if I came out and didn’t like it, and then publicly said so, a lot of people will think less of me. I probably will like it, and I will watch it at some point when I don’t have to review it, but I felt like I didn’t want to be the only person who disliked a popular film (oddly enough, I felt fine disliking Once Upon A Time In Hollywood).

2020 – 1917

Damn this is a tough month. There is SO much good stuff. Uncut Gems, David Copperfield, A Beautiful Day In This Neighbourhood, The Lighthouse. It’s a packed schedule, most of which probably won’t be shown at my local cinema because reasons. This is the film I’m most intrigued by though. I was going to avoid it because I’m so bored with war films. Then I heard this was presented like it was one long shot, and I was instantly sold. I like to reward creativity in cinema, so I have to see this.

February

2019 – Boy Erased

A film about a gay teen being forced to undergo conversion therapy. The only reason I didn’t see this is because it wasn’t shown at my local cinema. Very annoyed by that and I will watch it at some point. I thought I had seen it but then realised I watched the OTHER really bleak and depressing Lucas Hedges film.

2020 – Sonic

Will it be shit? Will it be okay? Will it be great? It will definitely be one of the first two, but either way it’s going to be a lot of fun to write about.

March

2019 – Dumbo

Unlike Boy Erased, the cinema did play this, a lot. I purposely avoided it. I don’t really remember too much from the original Dumbo, I remember enough to make weird references to it, but not enough to feel an emotional connection to it. So I had no desire to watch a live-action version. Plus, live-action Disney remakes are something I’m trying to avoid on principle, on the principle they’re unoriginal and stifling creativity in cinema.

2020 – A Quiet Place Part 2

I’m really interested to see whether this will fuck up my love for the first one. I’m hoping it won’t and I am genuinely interested to see where they go with it. It does seem to have quite a few flashbacks too, which could be nice.

April

2019 – Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich

I didn’t see this because I didn’t know it existed. I wish I did and watched it now as I get a feeling my review would have been a lot of fun to write. It looks like it’s either going to be schlocky fun, or just terrible. Either way, would have been fun to write about.

2020 – The New Mutants*

That has a star next to it because, let’s face it, it’s probably going to get delayed again. Film in 2017 and not released until now, which is always a good sign for a movie. It can’t be worse than Dark Phoenix though, can it?

May

2019 – Aladdin

Again, purposely avoided this one. I sometimes feel like the only person who didn’t really care about the animated Aladdin movie (or The Lion King for that matter), so I definitely wasn’t going to see a live-action one. I saw a section from it where Will Smith sings the Prince Ali song, and it just made me more determined to not watch this film. It was too visually slow. I maintain they should have had a film crew with more experience in Bollywood cinema, even if it was only just for that scene, to give it the vibrancy and life that it needed. It just seems so plodding and dull.

2020 – Artemis Fowl

I fear this. I love the books and all indications show they haven’t really paid attention to them. For one thing, they’ve got Commander Root played by Judi Dench. Now I LOVE Judi Dench, but it ruins one of the story arcs from the book which is that Holly Short is the first female LEPrecon officer, if Root has already been there then it ruins not only that arc, but also their dynamic. I will admit though, the director is the right choice, as is Josh Gad as Mulch Diggums.

June

2019 – In FabricA

Didn’t even know this film existed until I was looking through the launchingfilms.com page for films released in 2019. I’ll share with you the synopsis: IN FABRIC is a horror-comedy in which an enchanted dress wreaks havoc on the lives of those who wear it. Why do I not already own this on DVD? I now have to see this at some point.

2020 – Candyman

It’s Candyman written by Jordan Peele, you damn right I’m going to see this.

July

2019 – The Lion King

Wait, that was this year too? Damn Disney with the remakes. This film came out about 6 months ago now, it had Beyonce in it, yet I haven’t heard anybody talk about it. The live-action version has made no impact on popular culture.

2020 – Morbius

This seems like a vampire horror movie set in the MCU. I am all for that. The MCU needs to get more diverse and have different genres. It has been unable to do that until now because all the films needed to be linked, you needed to watch them all to fully get Endgame. Hopefully, now that’s finished they can be separate and they can take more risks.

August

2019 – Playmobil

Again, this could have been a vitriolic masterpiece review. But I would have felt a bit weird being the only childless adult in the cinema watching this. Plus at this point I realised I really needed to stop watching bad films, I had seen enough (this was after Dark Phoenix and Hellboy, but before Wolf, so it was going to get worse).

2020 – Bill And Ted Face The Music

I need this. I need this so much. I loved the first two movies and I really hope this lives up to the hype.

September

2019 – Ready Or Not

Now, this annoyed me. It came out just after the worst film I’ve ever seen, a film that was so bad it put me off cinema for a short while. As such I missed the REALLY brief window that this film was at the cinema. Shame as it looked good, and I’ve heard great things about it. Who knows, maybe if I saw at the cinema I would have realised it wasn’t actually Margot Robbie in it.

2020 – The King’s Man

I’m curious about this. A lot of the fun about spy movies are futuristic gadgets, so I’m curious how this is going to work. The trailer didn’t leave me as excited as it should have done. I have faith though, it could be amazing. No matter what, I’m looking forward to it.

October

2019 – Gemini Man

Hahahaha yeah I wasn’t going to see this. It looked stupid, and not fun enough to make up for it. My favourite thing about this film? The poster for it had the cast at the top, which was just Will Smith. But to show that he was playing two roles (well, three) they had his name twice. So it was “Will Smith Will Smith”, which is a grammatically correct sentence enquiring whether Smith can will someone else called Smith to do something

2020 – Death On The Nile

A surprisingly packed month really. You’ve got this, the Halloween sequel, and the remake of The Witches. This is the one I want most though, I loved Murder On The Orient Express. I loved the direction, I loved the performance, so I REALLY want more, and I’m so glad it’s happening.

November

2019 – Last Christmas

I was going to see this, then I had a realisation that I think I knew the ending. I looked it up and it turned out I was right. That instantly turned my feelings on the film from “warm christmas feeling” to outright cynicism.

2020 – Godzilla Vs. Kong

Mainly as I’m not entirely sure how this is going to work. The last Godzilla movie made him really overpowered, so I’m not entirely sure how they’re going to make Kong his equal. Interested to find out.

December

2019 – Cats

This is the only film I’ve heard of that required a day one patch. If the studio doesn’t care about quality, then I don’t give a shit about watching it. And it wasn’t just “small ironing out of issues”, it was this:

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That is unforgivable. There is no excuse for releasing the film in that state.

2020 – Coming 2 America

I’m going to need to rewatch the first film before this, but it could be weird. The only film that beats out Bill And Ted for “sequel in 2020 we’ve been waiting the longest for”. I get the feeling people will either love this, or it will bomb HARD. Either way, I’m keeping my eyes peeled for a trailer.