Tag: David Harbour

2023 Film Awards Day Two: The Components

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Best Script

Bottoms
I loved how it balanced the “wtf” nature that exists in the world of this film, whilst also being deeply serious and personal. I was more forgiving of issues with this than other films because it felt like it took place in a strange universe. Like Black Books or Green Wing. So there was a certain amount of “well that makes no sense. But fuck it”. Normally, that approach like that would feel like a cop-out, but it genuinely works here. Plus, I can guarantee this is some sexually confused 15-year-old autistic kids’ new obsession that will change their lives, and the world needs more films like that. This is going to be a film that changes someone’s life, and it’s REALLY funny too.
Missing
Long-followers (or anybody who has spoken to me for more than a few minutes) will know that I LOVED Searching. So I was always going to enjoy a thematic sequel. The brilliance of this is almost entirely down to how well-scripted it is. Yes, the computer screen gimmick helps, and the performances are great. But you could make it a normal film and would still work, could replace the performances and might still work, but it’s the script that turns something good into something great. It’s so damn well plotted. Just when you think you know the answer, it changes the question. You go through thinking “Well obviously this is the case”, then five minutes later the film proves you wrong. It’s a script made of a thousand threads, and every single one is expertly crafted.

Winner

Rye Lane
Despite what my somewhat cynical nature would make you believe, I do genuinely love a good rom-com. And this is a good one. A lot of that is down to the performances, but the script makes their job slightly easier. The two characters are likeable, and the meet-cute actually feels real. A lot of times that moment feels a bit too “written”, but it feels genuine in this like it was an actual moment which could lead to two people falling for each other. The key point is that you actually want the two people to end up together. You feel emotionally invested, and that’s all down to how real the script makes the characters seem.

Best Looking

A Man Called Otto
Mainly because there’s a BEAUTIFUL seasonal transition shot. The rest of the film looks pretty standard, but that one shot is so damn good.
All Quiet On The Western Front
Some absolutely stunning shots. The visuals really help make you feel that you’re there. Usually, films like this have a tendency to be just a mesh of brown and grey. This adds moments of colour, and everything is so clear there’s zero washout.
Barbie
For a lot of these, I’ll be talking about how they made everything look real. Barbie, I’ll be doing the opposite. A lot of care went into making the world look fake. It reminded me of Game Night, where the establishing shots etc were shot in such a way that the houses kind of looked like game pieces. Everything here looked like a dollhouse world. Not just the obvious (colour schemes etc), but the way things are sized too. They obviously had a blast with the visuals, and it’s all the better for it.
Creed 3
I loved the fights in the first Creed movie. The way the camera weaved between the participants really helped sell the damage being done. This approaches it differently. It makes it less realistic, and more philosophical. So it really gets you inside their heads, letting you know the pressure they’re under, how alone they feel, how completely drained they are. It’s a risky strategy, but it really pays off.
John Wick: Chapter 4
You always get innovative fight scenes in this franchise. But this entry went a bit different; shooting one as if it was a video game, moving over walls and with constant motion. It all looks so effortless too.
Oppenheimer
Obviously, this was going to be listed here. They recreated a nuclear detonation with minimal to no CGI. Everything is building up to that moment, so if the explosion sucked then the whole film would be ruined. But that crazy bastard pulled it off.
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
I loved how the different animation styles meshed with each other. All the different Spider-verses FEEL different and unique in how they’re animated. There’s so much effort into differentiating them, and it really pays off.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
The script itself was created with no love for the source, with all the references being surface level and nothing more than “this is a thing in the games”. But the visuals? They were done with love. Background graffiti and road signs are full of references. The music may be meh, the voice acting bland, and the plot a bit dull, but the sheer love that went into creating the visuals means watching this film isn’t a total loss.

Winner

The Creator
Obviously, it was going to be this.  I don’t know how Gareth Edwards managed it on such a small budget but I can only assume witchcraft. It looks incredible, absolutely astounding. There are zero moments where it doesn’t look real (although there is one moment where the geography of the scene could be improved to help clarify things). Considering the amount of effects etc. that must be needed for this to work; that truly is a testament to the talent of Edwards and his team.

Best Performance

Aftersun – Paul Mescal
Everything is subtext. Calum is so damn well written. He’s a father who is suffering from depression, but is doing his best to hide it from his daughter. Mescal has to carry all of that nuance. He doesn’t get to explain it, doesn’t get anybody else to explain it, it’s all hidden under the surface. It would be easy for it to be too obvious, too surface-level. I kind of feel you need to have mental health issues to be able to see the signs. I don’t think some people will understand it, but those who do get it, will GET it.
Apocalypse Clown – Natalie Palamides
Her character, as written, is already the highlight of the film, but her physicality is tremendous. Even the way she eats ham is notable. She is never not “on”.
Barbie – America Ferrera
A performer who was sorely underrepresented in the marketing. She’s the straight performer in a world of comedy, so it would be easy for her to be overshadowed by people who could go further. Without Ferrera, the film risks coming off as too wacky and silly, making it feel like nothing has consequences. She provides it with enough seriousness that you buy it as real, even when it goes batshit weird.
Haunted Mansion – Lakeith Stanfield
I genuinely believe he’s one of the best all-rounders the industry has; a face that suits magazine covers, the perfect voice for audiobooks, plus the ability to deliver an incredibly powerful monologue that will bring you to tears. Everyone else is acting like they’re in a Disney movie, all overly expressive and aimed towards a mass audience. That’s fine, that’s really all you need in a film like this. But Stanfield? He performs like he’s in an Oscar-bait drama.
M3gan – Amie Donald
Her physicality is amazing. Her movement enters uncanny valley territory. She’s under 15 years old and has more physical awareness than people who have been in the industry longer than she’s been alive. I hope this doesn’t lead to her constantly being cast as a horror movie monster wearing a mask so you can’t tell it’s her. Yes, her character is an inhuman robotic killer, but it’s the slight fluidity that Amie adds to it that helps sell the character.
Missing – Storm Reid
I’m not that familiar with her, having only seen her in small roles before. But she carries this brilliantly. There’s a lot for her to do too, she has to be a cocky teenager, but one whose mother has gone missing so she’s worried about her (whilst also being competent enough to try and solve it). So she needs to somehow convey both “I know everything” and “I need an adult”. That’s difficult to do in a supporting role, but as a lead, it’s tricky to do and remain convincing. She has great facial expressions, to the point where there’s so much unsaid dialogue in this.
Oppenheimer – Cillian Murphy
There’s not much I could add here which hasn’t been said many times before. So I’m not going to.
The Whale – Sadie Sink
I know Fraser has a lot of love for his performance in this. But I kind of think that Sadie did more. In the future, she’s going to do something that will make everybody notice her, she is that damn good. Fraser can kind of hide behind his prosthetics and physical performance, whereas Sadie has to lay it all on the line, shedding every single layer of vulnerability. Her character could be better written, more consistent, but her performance is damn fine.
We Have A Ghost – David Harbour
Mainly because he does the whole thing without saying a word. He is one of those actors that even when he’s in bad films (such as Gran Turismo), he’s usually the best part, and never the cause. We Have A Ghost is an average movie, deserving of its place on Netflix instead of physical media. But Harbour, and everything he does, could not be improved.

Winner

Killers Of A Flower Moon – Lily Gladstone
It’s not an understatement to say that her performance is the beating heart of this movie. She has so much to do and does it brilliantly. An example of how great her performance was; she’s in a film with DiCaprio, DeNiro, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser fresh off The Whale, and Jesse Plemons. Yet who was everybody talking about? Lily Gladstone. She didn’t just hold her own against acting heavyweights, she overshadowed them.

Best Character

Aftersun – Calum
The stuff I mentioned in the Best Actor part? All applies here too. It’s a fantastic mix of a well-written character being played by the best person possible.
Barbie – Ken
It feels weird saying that. It’s a feminist AF film, female director etc. Yet the most entertaining character is the dude. That feels wrong somehow. His character does run the risk of being slightly incel at times, but he redeems himself with his rejection of what we would deem standard masculinity. His arc isn’t about finding a girl, it’s about finding himself. It’s essentially the same as the main character from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, just with less depression.
Bottoms – Hazel
The other characters are great too. But I absolutely adored Hazel. I was discussing this movie with someone and she said this: “I’m concerned that I would actually sell my soul to protect Nicholas Galitzine. I don’t want to date him at all, just protect him”. That’s exactly how I feel about the character of Hazel
Creed 3/John Wick 4 – The Title Characters
This has to be the end of that franchise. The characters have reached the natural end of their story. Both of these two are similar, they have back stories I’d like to see more of, but their current story has definitely ended. They went out on a high too. It’s been good to see these characters develop across the movies, letting us live in their worlds for a moment. I’m sad there’s no more, but I’m glad I got to see every single entry in both franchises in the cinema.
Holy Spider – Saeed Azimi
He’s not sympathetic or likeable in the slightest, but he is sincere, and you do understand how he got to his point of view, even if it is sociopathic and deplorable. It’s key that the character doesn’t seem to be getting pleasure from this. He seems genuinely disgusted with himself for having to be near the women he’s killing. This really helps him feel genuine. He is terrifying, even when he’s just being an everyday family man. There’s a moment where the veil slips when he has an outburst in front of his family and stops being the kind loving family man. What’s very telling is how his family react. They’re scared, but not surprised. So they know he has the capacity for violence; just maybe not to the full extent of it.
Joy Ride – Deadeye
I mean, she’s clearly autistic, right? But crucially, not to the point of parody or cruelty. It’s weird, this is a film about identity and finding your family. Yet the most emotional part belongs to Deadeye thinking she’s been abandoned by her online friends. You just break, it’s incredibly emotional, but it wouldn’t be if you didn’t like the character.
Polite Society – Ria Khan
It would be so easy for her to come off as a whiny entitled brat with delusions. But every decision she makes makes sense. When she sneaks into the men’s locker room to go through a phone? Makes sense with what we know about the character so far. She feels like a real person and we’re just getting a snapshot of her life. She also gets to be a character who’s not just a damsel in distress, which is still depressingly rare for young female characters. The representation is great to see, but even without that, Ria is still an important character because she’s just so damn likeable and funny.
The Marvels – Kamala Khan
Fuck the critics, she is adorable. Her squee nature makes sense too, she is a fangirl getting the chance to work with her idols. Of course she’d be overwhelmed. She’s the only one not trying to put on a tough front, it makes her very human.

Winner

Godzilla: Minus One – Kōichi Shikishima
A failed kamikaze pilot haunted not just by his actions in the war (feigning mechanical issues to get out of his duty. I mean, his duties were to kill himself so I get it) and by his behaviour in the first Godzilla attack. He’s a man haunted by guilt and regret, someone who spends the entire time needing to prove himself. That defines so many of his actions. His refusal to openly return Noriko’s feelings comes from a belief that he doesn’t deserve happiness. This is what makes Godzilla movies work, and why so many adaptations get it wrong. It’s not about the monster, it’s about the humans. Throughout this, you want Koichi to succeed and find happiness, he’s a PTSD-haunted man in a society which doesn’t think PTSD is a thing.

Best Couple/Double Act

Aftersun – Calum/Sophie (Paul Mescal/Frankie Corio)
Aftersun would not have worked if the relationship between the two leads felt fake. It’s difficult for two adults to fake a familial relationship, let alone an adult and a child actor. Yet you never doubt the sincerity between the two. They genuinely feel like father and daughter, which is a testament to the talent of both Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio, as well as whoever made the decision that the two of them should spend time at a holiday resort in Turkey during rehearsals.
Barbie – Barbie/Ken (Margot Robbie/Ryan Babygoose)
They play off each other perfectly, both in characters and in performance. Barbie is weird, and Ken has to match that Kenergy throughout so that she seems logical. Surprisingly this is only the second film the two actors have starred in together, and I don’t even think they shared any scenes in the other one (The Big Short). A smart movie studio would book these two together in more things. A dumb studio would greenlight a bunch of movies based on toys. Fucking Warner Bros are useless.
It’s A Wonderful Knife – Winnie/Bernie (Jane Widdop/Jess McLeod)
The rest of the film is nothing to write home about, but the chemistry between these two performers is a delight. I would love to see these two in a romantic comedy. The chemistry between the two performers was so good that it actually changed the story. I love when that happens, and it would have been stupid of them not to do that.
M3gan – M3gan/Cady – Amie Donald/Violet McGraw
For this to work, you need to believe that Cady doesn’t think of M3gan as a robot. Otherwise, it would just be like “Why is that small child so friendly with a calculator?”. You need to believe that they have a friendship that goes beyond a child and her computer. You can easily believe that these two are friends, so it all works.
Quiz Lady – Anne/Jenny (Awkafina/Sandra Oh)
They have really great chemistry, to the point where it is easy to buy them as siblings. They’re helped by a script full of moments which showcase how much Jenny really does care for her sister Anne. They’re both playing against type, and if both of them aren’t perfect it doesn’t work. I adore how familiar the two performers feel with each other, and it’s the linchpin the film is based around.
Rye Lane – Dom/Yas (David Jonsson/Vivian Oparah)
Watching the two interact, you’d assume they’d worked together a lot before, nope. Every moment between the two makes you want to see more. They’re so natural together, that weirdly, it kind of hurts the film. Because of how natural a couple the two make, the argument between the two doesn’t ring true. You don’t think a perfect couple like that could be split by something that small. A small niggle though. Without that chemistry, a lot of the best moments would feel forced. I don’t say this often for a rom-com, but I want to see these characters again, maybe in a TV show following the two down the line.
Scrapper – Georgie/Jason (Lola Campbell/Harris Dickinson)
There’s a fun playfulness between the two, but it’s a playfulness filled with uncertainty and quiet mistrust. They do like each other, and we do see moments of him being a caring dad, but you are always aware that they don’t actually know each other. Every moment of warmth is played with the undercurrent of knowing that Georgie hasn’t forgiven her dad for walking out on her.

Winner

Past Lives – Nora/Hae (Greta Lee/Teo Yoo)
A couple that is not a couple when the film starts, and isn’t one when the film ends. But they mesh so well together. Past Lives received a lot of positive attention in the industry, with heavyweights like Christopher Nolan naming it as one of his favourite films. I have to believe a small part of that is the undeniable chemistry that the two actors share, and how well-written their characters are. Going in, you know how this is ending, but you have that small flicker of hope that you’re wrong.

2023 In Film: Day Three (The Not Great)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Dream Scenario

Ups: Unique concept

Good performances

Downs: Kind of dull.

Lacks purpose

Doesn’t seem to know where it wants to take the story

Best Moment: The fart joke.

Worst Moment: The sex scene leading up to that is kind of uncomfortable and not needed.

Best Performer: Cage

Opening: Cage’s daughter dreams of him standing by watching as she floats into the air. It’s a dream, surprisingly.

Closing: Cage transports into his wife’s dream and saves her, while wearing a giant suit.

Best Line: Do you think I could handle the emotional burden of having an affair?

Original Review here

Five Nights At Freddy’s

Ups: The central relationship between the siblings is fantastic.

The animatronics.

Intriguing narrative.

Downs: Feels too neutered.

The universe it creates doesn’t feel real.

How did Afton get a job after killing those kids? Even if you do the “he just changed his name and got fake identification”, the fact he looks like the main suspect in a mass murder case would have raised suspicion.

Constantly reminds you of better films

Best Moment: The fake-out death with Rubio’s character. You do wonder if they would kill a child.

Worst Moment: The reveal of the child murders. Mainly because that kind of thing would become a local legend, so people who live there would know about it, especially if the building was still there.

Best Performer: Piper Rubio

Opening: A security guard is murdered. Lets you know immediately what type of film this is; bloodless and without any sense of tension.

Closing: Everybody smiles and lives together. Oh, and the villain somehow isn’t dead because they want a sequel.

Best Line: “And you only have to worry about one thing. Keeping people out. And, and you know, and keep the place tidy.”

“That’s two things”

Original Review here

Good Burger 2

Ups: Some delightfully dumb dialogue, almost Airplane/Paddington-esque

Unlike the first one, it doesn’t have creepy Dan Schneider.

Downs: The characters haven’t developed since the first one.

Thinks the first one is much more iconic than it is

Very basic plot.

Best Moment: The “rousing speech” which is just Ed standing silently. Somehow, it manages to inspire everybody.

Worst Moment: The car chase scene, mainly because there are some really weird shot choices, random quick cutaways of glasses of water etc before they’re hit.

Best Performer: Kamala Fairburn

Opening: Ed opens up the burger place and starts a musical intro. I don’t want to be rude, but his voice isn’t suited for this. It then turns out he’s been dreaming and he wakes up being shouted at by Pete Davidson. Then see a scene of Dexter as an inventor who burns his house down demonstrating a fireproof spray. I think the fire scene would have been a better opener, it’s more engaging

Closing: Good Burger is reopened, and permanent ice has been invented. An obvious ending. The credit sequence of everyone singing We’re All Dudes is fun though. Especially since they seemed to get the crew in too.

Best Line: “He’s allergic to hippos”

Original Review here

Hypnotic

Ups: Well-performed.

Smarter than you’d think.

Keeps you on your toes.

Downs: Feels a bit too similar to other films which have been done much better

Hard to get emotionally invested.

Wastes potential

Best Moment: The rugpull. Superbly done.

Worst Moment: The post-credits scene. Feels a little optimistic setting up for a sequel.

Best Performer: Affleck

Opening: Affleck in therapy. Whilst watching this I thought this was a mistake, that they should have led with the bank robbery. But when the twist is revealed, I get why they did this.

Closing: The villain has survived. We thought he didn’t, but that was just because we saw a version warped by hypnosis. Not a surprise, but is narratively unsatisfying.

Best Line: I love you… don’t ask me why

Original Review here

Meg 2: The Trench

Ups: Some creative shots

If you like the first one, you’ll like this

Dumb, in an entertaining way

Downs: Doesn’t do enough to stand out

Should be bloodier

Doesn’t feel like a Wheatley film

Depends on you being able to remember a lot from the first film

Best Moment: The exosuit death. Shocking.

Worst Moment: The revelation of the villain, feels too obvious.

Best Performer: Shuya Sophia Cal

Opening: Dinosaurs killing each other.

Closing: The Meg might be pregnant. Sequel!

Best Line: After last time, y’all begged me to come back. “DJ, oh, we family, DJ. DJ, we need you.” Yeah, all right. Bet. But I ain’t stupid. I trained up, I learned how to fight, I learned how to swim, and I will never go anywhere without my survival pack

Original Review here

Talk To Me

Ups: Some good scares

Shows great potential for everyone involved

Downs: Doesn’t quite live up to what it could be.

Best Moment: Riley attempting suicide. Horrific.

Worst Moment: The possession party, only because they could be combined into one.

Best Performer: Sophie Wilde

Opening: A stabbing at a house party. Bit weird as doesn’t show enough to add to the story, it just introduces characters who never matter again. I got what they were going for, but didn’t work for me.

Closing: Mia is dead and finds herself summoned at a party. So we see what it’s like from the spirits’ side.

Best Line: “I let you in”

Original review here

We Have A Ghost

Ups: Has some funny moments.

Has heart.

Good cast

Downs: Odd sup-plots

Not enough funny moments to sustain it.

Best Moment: The TikTok response. It feels so real and how people would respond. It’s also one of the few “goes viral” moments in horror movies that feels legit.

Worst Moment: The Tig Notaro sub-plot, mainly because it goes nowhere.

Best Performer: David Harbour. Mainly because he does the whole thing without saying a word.

Opening: Static shot of a family running out of a house scared. Then the title card. It’s nothing we haven’t seen a hundred times before and it’s weird that THIS was how they chose to open it. A horror comedy has to nail the opening, and there’s nothing here which can be considered a joke or a scare in the opening. They then played the Jim Cornette theme song, which was the first laugh it got from me, and that was completely unintentional.

Closing: “Ernest” moves on. Expected, and very predictable. But handled so well. Annoyingly, it then moves on to another scene of the family moving house. That coda slightly broke the flow. It’s annoying as there’s a personal reveal that is nice to see and completes a narrative, so that’s needed. I just feel the place for it is wrong. If they swapped the scenes over it might have had a slightly better flow.

Best Line: “When your kids are little it’s easy to be a parent. They don’t see who you actually are, they just see the good stuff, what you want them to see. But eventually, as they grow up parts of yourself that you don’t like become harder and harder to hide”

Original Review here

Your Place Or Mine

Ups: I like the way she shoots phone calls. It does a standard split screen, but they’re all in sync.

Interesting idea.

Downs: Actors aren’t playing to their strengths.

The actors don’t share chemistry.

Everybody involved is capable of better.

Doomed by the concept.

Best Moment: The argument scene. Really creatively shot.

Worst Moment: The inciting incident seems too fake.

Best Performer: Notaro

Opening: “It’s 2003. How can we tell?” it then points to early 2000’s fashion choices made by the characters. It’s a fun opening. Even more so when the guy keeps interrupting sex to talk about short stories he’s written.

Closing: “They lived happily ever after. Just kidding, marriage is hard, but they had a good life”

Best Line: “Notes on parenting from someone whose only pet was a goldfish that died in a bong fire”

Original Review here

Gran Turismo: Based On A True Story (2023) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: A player wins a series of Nissan-sponsored video game competitions through his gaming skills and becomes a real-life professional race car driver.

Yes, colloquially this is known as Gran Turismo, and if you tell people about it, you’re going to say “I saw Gran Turismo at the cinema”, but the official title (at least in UK markets) is Gran Turismo: Based On A True Story (or GT: BOATS, pronounced Git Boats). I say that now for two reasons: one is accuracy. The other is because it’s a stupid f*cking title. It’s a title that feels like it was decided by a committee with no idea how actual people talk. That sums up the experience of watching GT BOATS, to be honest. It has no emotion, no personality, it’s film as product and marketing rather than storytelling. There’s no actual humanity to the whole thing. It attempts it; the moment where Mardenborough crashes and kills a spectator is the closest the whole thing gets to showing genuine emotion. Fun fact; the crash did happen to the real Jann Mardenborough (who plays his character’s stunt double in this, which I thought was a nice touch). But it didn’t happen when he was training. In real life it happened four years into his career, in this, it is showcased as an event which motivated him to a podium finish. Some may say this is disingenuous, but Mardenborough wanted it in there, saying “It would have been a disservice for the audience for that not to be in there”. Would it? Would it really? Also, at the wish of sounding rude, that’s not your decision to make, yes you were injured, but someone else died. So unless you got permission from the family, then it feels kind of exploitative. Tbh, it feels that way in the film itself, even without the wider context. The fact that someone died is given away in dialogue that’s almost throwaway. The film seems to be saying: yes, somebody died, but look on the bright side, it inspired the lead character to win so it’s all good.

None of the faults of this film lies on the head of the performers btw. Archie Madekwe has a great screen presence and could have a good future ahead of him. David Harbour seems to be doing his best impression of Tough Enough Season 5 era Bill DeMott (just without the sexual and physical abuse). Orlando Bloom seems to be transitioning out of his heartthrob era, and I’m all for it. Not every performance is worth a positive comment though: Djimon Hounsou is completely wasted in such a small role, and he’s not helped by the fact he has to act alongside Geri Halliwell. Well, I say “act alongside”, it feels more like he’s acting against her, with her utterly dismal performance dragging him down with her. I’m sure her being married to the team principal of a Formula 1 team had nothing whatsoever to do with the choice to cast her. I kind of hope she was forced upon the production because I can’t bear to stand the idea that someone saw her performance and thought “Yup, she’s the best choice”.

It’s a shame I didn’t like this as it is an interesting story. Someone being chosen to join a race team because they were good at a video game is a fascinating story. But it shows its hand far too early. It’s so desperate to tell you how realistic the game is, that it never gives us any reason to doubt that he’s actually a good racer. There’s no “but will the skills be transferable?” conflict, he’s almost immediately very good. He goes through the training programme very quickly. Personally, I would have liked to have seen more of that. The section with the group of gamers training and being evaluated is the most interesting part of the film. Partly because there’s an interesting set of characters, all of whom are flawed but still likeable. They’re all in the same position, and from all over the world so you have a wealth of eclectic characters to work with. Instead, the film spends most of the time with the background characters being a group of spoiled rich dicks, but never focusing on or fleshing them out. They’re more annoyances than proper antagonists. The shift from “training camp” to “driving in Le Mans” also changes how some of the other characters are; they go from potential antagonists to helpful friends. It’s completely inconsistent and means we don’t really have much of a conflict. It’s all “Will he become a proper driver” when we know he will otherwise there’s no story. If he was working against somebody then at least they’ll be something there the audience can latch onto.

The lack of a compelling narrative might have been easy to ignore if it at least looked good. But it doesn’t. It looks too much like a video game, even when it’s not meant to. The scenes where it’s supposed to look like a video game are a weird choice. There are videogame style overlays over some of the races, to indicate how he sees the world. But it makes it seem TOO much like a video game. Having someone say “This isn’t a video game” and then making it seem exactly like a video game slightly undermines the message, somewhat. The races don’t look that exciting. There are too many close-ups of the internal machinery firing up etc, I’m sure for people who like cars it means something, but to everybody else, it just looks like small bits of metal and fire doing shit. There’s not even a decent soundtrack to the whole thing.

We Have A Ghost (2023) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick synopsis: The Presley family (no relation) move into a house which turns out to be haunted. Together, the family and the ghost (“Ernest”) work out the mystery of how Ernest died, as well as how to use the haunting to make money money money money in this haunting (see what I did there?) comedy horror starring Anthony Mackie and David Harbour.

I had heard bad things about We Have A Ghost (or WHAG, pronounced Warg). On the one hand, it’s written and directed by Christopher Landon, who gave us the wonderful Freaky, and the fun-as-fuck Happy Death Day films. But on the other hand, it was also written and directed by Christopher Landon, who gave us the sixth Paranormal Activity film, as well as the unfunny juvenile Scouts Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse, so it could go either way. Early reviews made me think this would be terrible. But it’s actually fun. I’m not saying this will end up being my favourite film of the year, but it doesn’t deserve the low scores it has on Metacritic. Although one of the user reviews just describes it as “this movie crosses the line. It’s white shaming bullsh*t and if it was the other way around it would have been cancelled instantly. I can’t believe people let this slide. Seems that all this cancel culture is a one-way thing. Into the trash it goes” which translated means “This film has black people in it”. There is a line about “not doing the typical white people horror movie thing and staying”. But that’s because almost every notable haunted house movie (Poltergeist etc) feature almost entirely white casts. If you see that one line and think “this movie hates white people” then that reveals more about you than it does the movie. Primarily that you’re a racist douchbag.

With the exception of Mackie and Harbour the cast are mostly unknowns, the main cast anyway. The supporting cast includes esteemed names like famous MILF Jennifer Coolidge, Chris D’Elia replacement Tig Notaro, and professional vitamin seller Dr Phil, or to give him his full medical name: Phil, just Phil. I think at least one of the main cast could end up being a big deal, but not sure who. Isabella Russo shines in the brief moments she’s in, very reminiscent of Edge Of Seventeen-Era Hailee Steinfeld in terms of energy. Niles Fitch has been on the edge of success lately with his role in This Is Us, but that’s yet to find much of an audience outside of the US. With the right role, he could break through. I do have to point out how good David Harbour is in this though, especially considering he has no dialogue yet there are times when you don’t really notice that. If there’s any justice though, this will be the breakout role for Jahi Winston (who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page yet).

It didn’t get off to a good start. The opening scene in a horror/comedy needs to do one (ideally both) of the following. This does neither. There are no real scares until about 6 minutes in and no jokes until around that time either. And no jokes that made me laugh until 7 minutes in when someone responded to an order by playing The Imperial March on guitar. It’s a really cute moment which endears the audience to the character. That helped warm me to the movie. I assumed the film would be focused on the ghost’s friendship with Anthony Mackie’s character, instead the main spectral relationship is with the son. This was the right choice and provides multiple sweet moments. It’s a very touching story that is genuinely moving at times. It also provides a weirdly accurate portrayal of what would probably happen in reality if a ghost was discovered and evidence posted online. By which I mean, TikTok users tell everyone the creepy sex fantasies they’ve been having about the ghost.

But WHAG brings the (family-friendly) scares when it needs to too. The scene where Ernest haunts the television production crew is genuinely unsettling and wonderful. You can argue it’s never as scary as it could be, but I get the feeling it’s not aiming for “terrifying you until you poo yourself”, but is going for more “spooky”. It’s the kind of horror movie you watch with your kids after get back from trick or treating.

Not to say that the parents wouldn’t get anything from this. They’ll appreciate the family relationship. This is marketed as a horror comedy, but at its core, it’s like the Fast and The Furious movies; it’s all about family (and if you think I didn’t say that like it was said in Shazam! Fury Of The Gods, you’d actually be right because I didn’t say it out loud, I just typed it). The father/son relationship is really the driving force behind the whole plot. It influences decisions which directly cause the narrative to flow like it does. It also causes one of the best lines:

“When your kids are little it’s easy to be a parent. They don’t see who you actually are, they just see the good stuff, what you want them to see. But eventually, as they grow up parts of yourself that you don’t like become harder and harder to hide”

That says so much about not only that character, but his relationship with his children. It’s so perfectly done that I loved it.

Whilst that’s perfect, the film itself is not a perfect film by any means, it feels incredibly neutered at times like it was originally supposed to be more adult and they cut it down so would appeal to more people. There’s also a ghosthunter/military subplot that achieves nothing except waste both time and the comedic talents of Tig Notaro. It’s a part of the plot that just gets in the way of what we want to see. If you got rid of it it would create a few plot holes, but they’re minimal-sized holes that you could close up with a few carefully placed pieces of narrative needlework.

This is a fun netflix film. It’s hampered slightly by the fact that a lot of what it’s done has been done before, and done better, by big films (ET, Ghostbusters etc). It’s not going to be your favourite film of the year, but it is entertaining. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a really good bacon sandwich. Won’t change the world, but will fill a hole (sex joke) and make you happy for a short moment. It also has a genuine tearjerker of an ending.

Violent Night (2022)

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Quick synopsis: An elite group of mercenaries (all with Christmas-themed codenames) plan to steal a family’s millions, not counting on their heist being interrupted by a drunken Santa Claus.

I won’t say this often, but this is better than the trailer made it seem. The trailer makes it seem like Santa was magically wished into the house because he answered the call of a child in danger, which makes you wonder why it doesn’t happen more? Of all the children in the world to help, he only answers the call of a girl in a large house who is being held hostage in an armed robbery? Not children being abused, or abandoned? That kind of motivation sort of makes him a dick. Luckily that’s not the case in the actual film. In the film itself, he just happens to be in the house when it happens, and his deciding to fight against the robbers isn’t just a case of “It’s the right thing to do”, but because the reindeer fly off. The film leaves it open as to whether he would have just left if he could, he’s certainly conflicted about staying or not, but the character losing that agency makes him a more interesting character, there’s a moral ambiguity to him at the start of the film, his character is more a shade of grey than morally black or white (well since it’s Santa, more red and white). That’s as it should be, this isn’t a happy jolly Santa, it’s one who’s bitter and jaded. So him having heroic actions thrust upon him means that the moments later on in the film when he CHOOSES to be a hero have more weight.

It makes sense he would hesitate to fight, this Santa comes with a violent history he’s trying to atone for. Again, that makes him a much more interesting person than he would otherwise. The violent history also means that you know that when he lets loose, it’s going to be spectacular, and it is. The violence in this film is damn fun, not just from Santa, but also from Trudy, the small girl who he wants to help. She sets up some Home Alone-style traps, doing a great job of demonstrating just how much damage they’d do in real life.

The violence is improved by how well we know the characters. They’re all so well-written and defined that it helps us feel their pain. Well written, but not likeable though. Most of the characters in this are selfish, boorish, and kind of stupid. They’re so believable though. They suit the cynical tone of this. This is one of the most cynical Christmas movies I’ve seen, but it’s cynical with a hopeful message. It’s saying “yes, people are shit, but they can do better”. It’s the hope, and the heart, that ultimately drives this film. It’s what elevates what could be a standard action movie into a real delight. As do the performances. Alex Hassell has leading-man quality by the bucketload, not “Major Hollywood Leading Man”, but he’d be perfect for a Hallmark Rom-Com. Alexander Elliot is amazingly detestable. David Harbour is absolutely perfect as the lead, like he was born to play a violent Santa. Leah Brady has a great future. Plus it’s nice to see Beverly D’Angelo in another Christmas movie so she still gets Christmas residuals without having to be reminded of working with Chevy damn Chase.

So go see this, it’s funny, weirdly heartwarming, and violent as hell.

Black Widow (2021)

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Quick Synopsis: It’s a marvel action film. Do you need to know anything else?

So, this is it, the first Marvel film in two years. Perhaps more importantly, the first one since cinemas reopened. So in summary, there’s a lot riding on this. I actually saw this the day of release, first screening possible. I did this because I felt if I didn’t, that people on twitter would ruin it for me, much like I’m going to ruin it for you, so there’s your warning about that, as this will have spoilers.

In retrospect, I don’t think I needed to do that. There’s nothing in this film which you would really consider ruined if you were warned about it. There’s no moment where your jaw drops and you think “I can’t believe that happened! This changes everything!”. The closest you get to that is the post-credits scene where a character played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus asks Yelena to kill Hawkeye. I saw “character played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus” because I don’t know who she is. Apparently she’s in The Falcon And The Winter Soldier, but that was set for original release after this, so are we supposed to know who she is or not? That moment is the closest we really get to a seismic shift. Otherwise it’s just standard stuff really, Florence Pugh’s character looks likely to be a newer version of Black Widow (albeit more morally ambiguous), and her “parents” are free to do whatever.

A note about her “parents”, and about Pugh’s character too, really. Although they weren’t introduced until now, they existed in this timeline for years, having been operational since just after Civil War. Would Natasha not have thought to get them involved in Endgame or Infinity War? You can argue “she didn’t want them involved” or “they didn’t know it was happening”, but that’s only really true for Infinity War. For Endgame there’s not many people left, and most people she was close to got snapped, so you would have thought she would have got all the help she needed. Or at the very least, they would have tried to find her.

I’m so used to Marvel setting things up, that it’s kind of disappointing there’s nothing here that you can really look back at post Civil War films and go “ohhhhhh, okay”. Basically, this film doesn’t need to exist. It’s a two hour way of introducing a few new characters, and to say goodbye to an older one.

Maybe it’s the timing, if you release a prequel it’s for a reason, and this doesn’t really have one. If this got released just after Civil War I’d have looked upon it more favourably. As it is, it just feels, I dunno, needless? It never feels anything other than a footnote. The cinematic equivalent of money you find in the pocket of a coat you haven’t worn in a while.

Now, the performances? Mostly good. Florence Pugh slots in beautifully like she’s been there all along. David Harbour is a lot of fun and I wish we saw more of him in previous films. He’s probably the best written character in the film. Rachel Weisz does fine, she never really wows but she does what she needs to. The worst performer is probably Ray Winstone. You’d think having him as the leader of a villainous group would be perfect for him. Having him in charge of an underground group of assassins would be great for him. There’s just two issues: 1) he’s not really in it enough. 2) His accent. It’s supposed to be Russian (I think), but really it’s just Russian’ around between a multitude of accents.

It’s not just his performance, the way he’s written is kind of weak too. He never feels like a presence over the rest of the film, when he’s not on screen you don’t get the feeling he’s going to attack or anything, you forget him as soon as he’s not there. Doesn’t help that despite being a big deal, he’s never really been mention to much before this. I’m not saying you needed to introduce him earlier in the franchise, but it would have helped to have the opening scene based on HIM doing something, rather than putting so much thought into some of the needless padding. Trust me, there’s some padding here. There was more than one fight scene where I was thinking “okay, so why are they actually fighting? What is this scene adding?”. Our main introduction to Taskmaster (the other “villain”) was one that wasn’t really needed. It took about 5-10 minutes to advance something that could have been done in a single line of dialogue.

Now onto the good side: there’s some great dialogue in it. The new characters work and provide a good future for the MCU if used properly. We finally find out what the turning point was in Black Widow turning into a hero. It has the potential to kick off some very exciting things for the future (all of the trained Widows are freed, so there’s a group of pissed off trained assassins walking the world, if the MCU doesn’t make use of that, it’s a missed opportunity). I like the idea of more prequels, mainly because I still think we need a film set during the period where half the population was missing. Some of the action set-pieces are tremendous fun (although one does seem a bit too Saints Row 3 for me). Very excited to see what kind of things Cate Shortland can do as a director in the future. Has a great cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit during the opening credits (which may possibly be my favourite opening credits in an MCU film). It’s an apt send off for Johansson, and a lot of fun. It’s just, so very popcorn. It is very very good, it just doesn’t seem important enough, and doesn’t really add anything to the franchise as a whole, it just seems to exist solely as a send-off to the character. Which is nice, but still…

Also I bingewatched Taskmaster (the British show with Greg Davies) so it was hard to unhear Taskmaster quotes throughout. No matter how good a film is, you can’t take it seriously when all that’s in your head is British comedians trying to guess how wide a caravan is in baked beans.

Hellboy (2019)

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Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear. That’s all I have to say about this really. I remember being kind of hyped up for this. It looked like it was going to be a mature bloody kind of film, but one that’s a lot of fun. It essentially looked like a mix of Logan and Thor: Ragnarok. Instead, it’s like a mix of Thor: Dark World, and a 15-year-old on Twitter. The Thor comparison is simple; I heavily disliked both and found them incredibly bland looking. The 15-year-old; that’s more complicated. You know when kids reach adolescence and they consider themselves adults? So they decide to act more “adult”, but all this means is they actually become pricks? Yeah, it’s that. This film is the cinematic equivalent of someone typing “I’ve got a big cock, you fag! Watch this video of people being executed. Hitler was my hero, megalols”. It has no nuance, subtlety, or actual maturity to it, in fact, it’s trying so damn hard to appear mature that it comes off as juvenile.

I did have kind of high hopes for this, hopes that faded when the early reviews came in. I understand this kind of film isn’t for everyone, so an average score in the ’60s would be acceptable. But at the time of writing the average score is 14%. That suggests a complete trainwreck, a film that fails on a very basic level. And it does. The pacing is just weird, it takes forever to say things that it could say in a minute, then glosses over things that they should focus on. We spend a lot of time introduced to characters who essentially don’t even matter. I’d estimate at least 30% of this film could be cut out and you wouldn’t lose anything. It doesn’t even have the decency to look good. I mean, it does in some parts, but in others, the CGI looks woeful, there’s one moment near the end in particular which is almost laughable. What’s not as laughable are the jokes, I think they’re supposed to be jokes, they have the cadence of jokes, but not the humour. It’s hard to tell because tonally this film is all over the place, and it’s not really helped by the performance. There’s a certain performer in this film who I have not seen in anything else, so I feel bad slating their performance because everyone can have an off day, so I won’t name them (if it was a very well known one, trust me I’d go all guns blazing, but with this it would just seem rude), but trust me, it’s one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a long time, probably not helped by the fact they’re playing a nationality that definitely isn’t their native one, and as such the accent wavers all over the place.

I mean, on the plus side the gore is a welcome change, they just couldn’t match the gore with grown-up sensibilities and tone (unlike Logan, which matched both PERFECTLY). And David Harbour is almost good enough to forget that he’s not Ron Perlman, almost. But it’s not good enough to pass over the multiple flaws this movie has. If I was thirteen years old, this would be my favourite movie,  although I’d also be too young to see at the cinema. In a world where Marvel movies are making billions, films which seem this lazy are not acceptable.