Contemplations On Chucky: Day 2 (Child’s Play 2)

Director: John Lafia (The Blue Iguana, The Rats)

Budget: $13million

Box Office: $32-35million

  • I understand they want to restart the Good Guy toyline but do they have to use the decapitated head of the one that was accused of murder? Just build a new one, doll’s heads aren’t exactly hard to come by. I used to have some on my BBQ.
  • “every tabloid is running a story on Andy Barclay and his killer doll” In America maybe, over here we were talking about Jamie Bulger and Suzanne Capper. Well, after Child’s Play 3 anyway but none of the other films talk about press reaction to murder so I’m going to have to use this opportunity to segue into a little rant here. Both of the aforementioned cases were terrible incidents which shouldn’t have happened and the people involved deserve whatever happens to them after death, whether it be an eternity of torment or blank nothingness. But the press took advantage of these murders to launch a campaign against “video nasties” and called for horror films to be more heavily regulated. Now, ignoring the fact that the newspapers that were calling for this most heavily are the ones who are now decrying a regulatory body and saying that any calls for press accuracy are “censorship” (I could write an entire essay on how ridiculous the notion is that deliberate fiction is more dangerous than disguised half-truths). The Suzanne Capper one had a somewhat tenuous link to the films as the dickholes torturing her played audio clips from the film whilst torturing her. Although it later turned out that they didn’t take these clips from the film, they took them from a popular song out at the time that was being played on Manchester’s Piccadilly Radio. A newspaper at the time reported that “21,000 4-9 year olds watched Child’s Play 3 when it was transmitted”, it later turned out that the figure was an extrapolation of people who were asked and applied that figure to the population as a whole, the actual number was two, and the margin of error applied to it means that it could have been just one. As David Elstein said at the time “but why spoil a good story by asking what the figure’s mean”, which is a damn funny thing for him to say and I commend him highly. Now the Jamie Bulger thing is a lot more tenuous. Even today people blame the films for the murders, but what evidence was there that the two were linked? One of the murderer’s dads, might have rented the film once, months before. If this is what the newspapers use as evidence I’m glad they don’t run the courts. Basically, fuck the tabloids.
  • “we rebuilt it head to toe”, but why?
  • A tricky thing with horror sequels is explaining how the killer came back. This one just goes for “his soul never died”, simple but kind of effective.
  • “what do you want me to do with the doll?” “stick it up your ass” I don’t think it’s that kind of toy.
  • Hey, it’s Jenny Agutter. I’d have assumed she’s too good for stuff like this.
  • “possessed by the soul of Charles Lee Ray” “who?” Would the world forget that quickly?
  • “what’s your favourite thing in the whole wide world?” “chocolate”. Me too kid, me too.
  • “besides chocolate” there’s other food besides chocolate? Lies and slander!
  • That house is so weirdly painted it reminds of The Shining.
  • “First rule, don’t touch the old stuff” I his wife won’t touch the old stuff anymore, that’s why he’s so angry.
  • “What do you think?” “Oh I’ll get used to him”. That’s the closest a foster parent can get to saying “I hate him he’s a little shit”
  • Christine Elise as Kyle, I always found her a really underrated actress, okay this is the only thing I saw her in but her performance is charming and likeable.
  • Jenny Agutter gets annoyed at Kyle for working too much, yeah, those damn rebellious kids, always working and obeying the rules. I bet she keeps tidying up behind herself too, she’s out of control I tell you!
  • “I bet blue is your favourite colour”. That’s sexist!
  • Andy is impressed by wooden toys, despite having a working electric car in his old house.
  • This family keeps a Good Guy doll in the house then get annoyed that Andy is scared. Those damn kids and their post traumatic stress disorder.
  • Why is he taking Chucky home? Why not just throw it in the bin or something? I’m assuming that workplace has bins.
  • “that’s a gold card, it’s just as good as cash”, really? Can you roll it up and use it to snort cocaine?
  • “you have to admit he’s a troubled boy, he may need more attention than we can give him” The father threatens to kick Andy out of the home and send him back to the orphanage and a life of neglect and suffering, because of a broken china statue. What a dick.
  • “Hi, I’m…….Tommy” that genuinely made me laugh.
  • Chucky’s eyes widen when there’s a risk of the other dead doll being uncovered. They’re really doing a lot to make the doll a character this time around, giving him unexpressed thoughts and worries, it really helps sell him as a character.
  • Andy gets tied up and gagged with a sock, Kyle sneaks in and blames him, how did he think she did it to himself? He’s way too young to be into that kind of sado-masochistic sex games.
  • “Andy, how did you tie yourself up last night?” I think she’s looking for tips. Now she’s definitely old enough to be into that kind of sadomaso-I’m going to stop there.
  • “especially new students who’s main concern should be getting on my good side” I’d have thought his main concern would be learning, since it is, you know, a school.
  • Shouldn’t she be easily able to tell that that’s not the handwriting of a child?
  • She locks him in a classroom. Isn’t that like, majorly illegal? What if he needed to go a toilet? Would she prefer he piss/defecate himself?
  • Chucky stabs her, with an air pump? Okay then.
  • “you’ve been very naughty Miss Kettlewell”, he says whilst brandishing a ruler, and the S&M continues.
  • “his teacher called”, did nobody phone home and tell the parents that the teacher is now dead? Did no cleaners or other teachers go in the room?
  • “what are you suggesting we do, send him back? “you don’t have to make it sound so horrible”, but it is horrible. You can’t take in a child you know is damaged and cry and complain that he’s not the right sort of damaged. Do your job as a parent and help.
  • Andy grabs a carving knife and goes to the basement to kill Chucky. I like that, it shows character development. He’s not sitting around as a victim waiting to be hunted, he’s hunting the hunter. It flips the dynamic slightly and is good to see, especially since he is just a child, but he’s a child who’s done this before.
  • What is it with Chucky and biting?
  • Phil dies via broken neck. Quite a good method of death actually, looks impulsive enough that a child could have accidentally done it.
  • Jenny Agutter and Christine Elise share an emotional scene which is far better than this film deserves.
  • The scene with the social worker collecting him whilst Kyle stands there has a really weird low angle which makes the space behind them seem massive and Andy seem tiny, very well created shot. Actually this film has a had a lot of moments like that, the cinematographer from this film also worked on Ed Wood, and was the DOP on Edward Scissorhands.
  • Ah man Jenny Agutter’s dead and she died off screen. Actually this scene is really good, the music, the look, everything just works to build tension until the reveal of the body, and then the slow rise of Chucky under the bedsheets behind Kyle, classic horror movie technique but very effective.
  • “That’s a Good Guy isn’t it? I love those things” really? The doll only came out two years prior to this, you’re at least in your late 40’s. It’s weird for you to like it that much.
  • “You know how some dolls pee, this one bleeds?” Hah! I would happily watch a Kyle/Chucky roadtrip sitcom.
  • “you goddamn women drivers”, ah, casual misogyny, although he is a mass murdering psychopath so I really shouldn’t be shocked that he’s not a very nice person. “yes, he killed hundreds, but he always said please and thank you”
  • Chucky sets off a fire alarm and Kyle gets the blame. Not that important a scene but the make-up on Kyle looks amazing, she looks thoroughly beaten and scared.
  • It turns out Chucky has been in the body for too long to get transported out. I guess that’s the end of this film series.
  • Wasn’t the implication earlier that the Chucky case caused a lot of bad publicity for the company and they were risking going out of business? That’s a very big production line for a product range that’s going under.
  • “Andy hurry up he’s right behind you” Why do you think he screamed?
  • Chucky’s hand gets trapped and he kind of 127 Hours his way out of it, literally just rips his own hand off.
  • “don’t be afraid” yeah, it’s just a piece of machinery that could probably kill you immediately, nothing to worry about.
  • Chucky shoves a blade into his stump, groovy.
  • Security guard/engineer notices a build up of dolls on the production line. So he didn’t notice the screaming etc before that? He also didn’t notice the two people running around the factory. He sucks at his job.
  • He puts his head directly under the mechanism of the machine whilst fixing it. He’s an idiot.
  • An unholy mess comes out of a machine, it’s 5 dolls fused together. Very Cronenberg.
  • More so as Chucky is shoved into a machine and all you can hear is agonised screaming, acidic burning, and mechanical whirring.
  • Chucky is dragging himself along the floor, at this point it would mainly be a mercy killing.
  • Andy pours molten wax over Chucky, because there’s no kill like overkill.
  • Molten wax Chucky is genuinely disturbing as hell. An air hose gets put in his mouth and he explodes in a mass of blood and plastic.
  • Film ends with a shot of a smiling Good Guy sign waving. I like it, very genteel way to end a violent movie.

Contemplations On Chucky: Day 1 (Child’s Play)

So, halloween is just around the corner, knife in hand, ready to jump out and disembowel people when they approach it (or alternatively, hand out sweets, depends how you celebrate it), so what better time than now to waste time watching horror films start a new blog series? Similar to Musings On Marvel which I did earlier this year, and extremely similar (I.E: Pretty much the same as) last years Nightmare A Day, I’ll be watching a film every day and blogging my thoughts. This year I’m doing the Chucky series, and I thought I’d start with the first film, because I’m not a complete idiot.

Director: Tom Holland ((Psycho II (unpopular opinion, I prefer it to the first one) Fright Night (including the sequel and remake))

Budget: $9million

Box Office: $44.2million

  • The cop just threw his jacket away. Littering!
  • Pretty impressive shot there. Cop attempted to shoot someone but they move out of the way and it shoots a car window instead, camera was behind the car window so it looked beautiful.
  • How different would this film have been if he put his soul into a ninja turtle toy, or a transformer?
  • Oh man I’d hate to be the shop worker who has to tidy this up in the morning.
  • “Oh god I’m dying”, really needed a better delivery of that line there. Sounds way too “ah well, shit happens”
  • “You did this” Murderer is annoyed that somebody killed him. Really the hypocrisy is worse than the murder.
  • Shop exploded. Obviously. Yet no fire alarms went off. See, that’s why you have health and safety laws.
  • “I saw this one” yeah, children famously hate repetition.
  • This toy company has it’s own cereal that’s basically diabetes in a box.
  • That giant doll costume is really really creepy.
  • Even without the soul of a psychopathic killer I still get the feeling these dolls would kill you. You specifically.
  • “so remember to tell your mum and dad you want a Good Guy”. I have two jokes for this. Delete which ever one you found less funny. 1) When I told my parents I wanted a good guy they were less than pleased. 2) No, you go get a job and buy your own dolls.
  • “and remember, you can buy all these good guy accessories too” Holy pressurised selling, Batman!
  • This kid is called Andy, I’m now saying this is a Toy Story prequel.
  • “How long have you been up?” “since forever” You lying little shit.
  • “it looks delicious” Liar!
  • “I have to give you your super duper birthday tummy gummy” That sounds strange.
  • A news report on Charles Lee Ray, do they often put news reports about serial killers on just after children’s TV shows this early in the morning?
  • You did not need to have a box that big just to put children’s clothes in. It’s just a waste of wrapping paper.
  • “there’s a guy in the alley selling the toy you want”. That statement asks more questions than it answers. 1) Why were you in the alley behind the store? This was before shops could hire snipers to shoot smokers so you could have gone out the front. 2) How did Chucky climb back into the box and close it, and clean up the blood? 3) It’s been a while since I’ve brought toys, but “stranger in an alley”? I really doubt they have a decent returns policy. “if you’re not satisfied, fucking die”
  • “Are you happy with your job here?” No manager would ever ask that question.
  • “A Good Guy, I knew it” What gave it away? The fact it was in a Good Guy box, or the fact that the box has a see-through front so you can tell what it is before you opened it?
  • The toy company has it’s own cake mix. Evil!
  • “Hey Chucky, you’re not watching me”. It’s because you’re boring, kid.
  • “Chucky wants to watch the nine O clock news” She doesn’t find it weird that a child asks to watch the news.
  • So, inside the doll is the soul of an an adult male, and he just got kissed by a child. This must be hell for him.
  • “What is wrong with me?” Off the top of my head, I’d say low self-esteem, a lack of maternal affection and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.
  • How did she get hit so hard (with a toy hammer no less) that she stumbled about 6 feet back with enough force to fall through a window? Were the windows made of sugar glass?
  • If a body lands on your car, is that covered by insurance?
  • “I live there”, thankfully the police don’t ask for proof or clarification.
  • So the detective investigating this is the same one who shot Charles Lee Ray? Wow, well coinci-mental
  • “Why? What’s happened to Maggie?” Well the detective is from homicide, try and put 2 and 2 together.
  • “You got any idea what these are?” What, the footprints, I’d say they’re footprints.
  • “what would Andy be doing on the counter anyway?” There speaks somebody who obviously has never had children, those fuckers climb everything.
  • PJ Sneakers? What the fuck? No! That’s just ugly capitalism.
  • “I don’t know who did that, and I don’t care”, wait, you don’t care who killed them?
  • “I want time alone with my son” “okay, we’ll clear out”, is that how police investigations work? They stay there until they solve the case, or until somebody politely asks them to leave.
  • The main kid in this called Andy, and there’s a character called Sid, this is basically Toy Story.
  • “his real name is Charles Lee Ray”, why did he tell you that?
  • “it’s because of Aunt Maggie you’re behaving like this”, no it’s because you’re a failure and I hate you.
  • “Why don’t you sleep with me tonight?” Wait, but at the moment you suspect your kid is dangerous, so why would you want that? Why not do the opposite and sleep far away, locking the door.
  • “you sure you’re alright about last night?” He goes to school the next day? I know it’s just a family friend but surely he’d get a day off for that?
  • How did he get on a train without either 1) paying (you really think a six year old kid has that much spare change?). 2) Someone phoning the police.
  • Pretty good use of music here, they’re seemingly incorporating the basic noise from a train running on the tracks into the music. Simplistic but rather brilliant.
  • What was Chucky’s plan if Andy didn’t need a piss at this precise moment?
  • Andy urinated for over a minute, how much does this kid drink?
  • “random noise, I’ll fire towards it” Good plan.
  • Andy runs towards gunshots.
  • How did Andy find Chucky in the burning wreckage?
  • Why has she not thrown that box out? Or at the very least compacted it down for recycling. Earth-killers are the true evil.
  • Good Guy even make their own god-damn batteries?
  • “Talk or I’ll throw you in the fire”. Look, this will go one of two ways, either 1) You’re threatening a serial killer. Or 2) You’re going to burn your childs favourite toy because it wouldn’t talk to you.
  • “I brought it from a peddler behind my work, I’ll try there” Stupid idea.
  • “he’s a cop” How do you know that? All he’s done is knee a homeless rapist in the groin, that’s the least that anybody would do.
  • “It was struck by lightning the night that Charles Lee Ray died? “How do you know that?” Well I imagine a serial killer dying, and a big toy store blowing up would make the local news. And he’s a member of the police so I imagine he’s up to date with current events, even ones as small as the police shooting someone.
  • “I was the man who killed him” “why didn’t you tell me?” Is it a policy to tell civilians every single person you’ve killed? If so that’s going to make meeting new people a lot more difficult for me.
  • Chucky attempts to strangle him, instead of, you know, using the knife.
  • Chucky finally decides to use the knife.
  • Obvious Green Screen is obvious.
  • “this is his accomplice” then why aren’t you there? Why did you insist on seeing a civilian first, and then take her to a possibly dangerous scene?
  • Why does he have a voodoo doll of himself? Does he put it near the heater so that even when he’s walking around in the snow he’s warm? That’s what I would do.
  • “I have a date with a six year old boy”, Phrasing!
  • Chucky stabs the voodoo doll, instead of, you know, just stabbing the guy laying in front of him. Lazy.
  • The actor playing Andy seems to genuinely be in fear. No child actor is that good (apart from Ruby Barnhill and Madison Wolfe of course) that I’m not suspicious that that child is actually in fear of his life. In which case, meh, you gotta do what you gotta do.
  • Chucky bites a lot. If that’s his natural instinct he probably did it a lot whilst human too, so why did it take so long for the police to catch him? Or has him becoming a doll given him really weird fetishes?
  • Random fact: Whilst doing the voice-over work for when Chucky is thrown in the fire, Brad Dourif’s (the voice of Chucky) daughter crawled into the recording room. Nobody noticed until she started crying as a reaction to her dad screaming. I don’t have a joke to end this on, just found that interesting.
  • This woman who works in a department store is a better shot than most movie cops.
  • I like how this ends with a “phew we’re safe, but oh shit, everyone thinks we’re crazy”. Kind of a happy ending, but also a downer. It’s a happy downer, like a post-orgasm penis

And that’s that. The first of many (well, about 5) in a new series.