Heart Eyes (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Every Valentine’s Day, a serial killer attacks couples. This year is no different.

I watched this the same day as Love Hurts, another Valentine’s Day-based movie with a twist. Heart Eyes is better, I’ll lead with that. Not to say it’s perfect, I have very specific problems with it that I’ll go into later, but it is mostly a pretty fun watch. My big issue is one that I can easily see some people actually liking, it’s all down to personal preference, as all reviews are.

I don’t think the script of the original Scream (as in the movie, not the painting, the script for that is only worth 1000 thousand words) is as highly regarded as it should be. It’s not just a horror movie, it’s a well-crafted mystery. There are clues, red herrings, along with lots of foreshadowing. The reveal is stupendous, when you hear it, you feel as if you should go “Ohhhh, well that’s obvious now I know the answer”. You don’t get that with Heart Eyes. Part of that is because it doesn’t build up the background characters that much. Scream had a large pool of suspects to draw from, so as you watched it, your brain was juggling between them, trying to figure out which one could be the killer. Heart Eyes only provides you with one option, doing all it can to signpost that this person is the killer. So either there’s no mystery, or it’s wasted its time giving you only red herrings instead of actual clues, neither of which is particularly narratively satisfying. The reveal itself is…..well it won’t end up on the list of greatest killer reveals, put it that way.

That’s a shame because if the mystery aspect was handled better, Heart Eyes would be a top 5 horror movie of the year, easily (probably still will be, but it is at risk). It does what I like my horror movies to do; have non-horror moments that are still interesting to watch. The central romance between Ally and Jay is lovely to see. It helps that Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding have really good chemistry. Their meet-cute is legit adorable. Take out the murders and you could easily frame this as a straight romcom.

So how about the horror moments? They’re fucking great. Companion (the other love-themed horror movie of the month) was a better movie, but Heart Eyes had MUCH better kills. They’re brutal, but not gratuitous. It doesn’t shy away from showing you the outcomes, people get squashed in machines and there’s a lot of blood, people get holes in their heads, and stabbed in places. “Holes in the head” does sometimes mean weird body physics in film, we’ve all seen horror movies where the killer punches someone and somehow their fist makes a hole in their skull. Moments like that can really pull you out of the movie because they’re not scary, they turn horror movies into cartoons with characters made of paper. Thankfully, that’s not the case here. Yes, characters do get attacked and end up looking like a polo mint, but the way it happens often makes sense in terms of physics, you can easily see how what happened COULD break through someone’s skull. The attacks all have weight to them, when people get hit with an object, you can feel the pain it causes, and you know they’re not going to get up. This helps it feel scarier and more violent, the realism makes it easy to buy into the concept that this is real.

What also helps sell the illusion of reality is how people react. They panic but try to not overdo it. There’s no “everybody in the country locks themselves in their homes”, because (as COVID showed), people wouldn’t do that. But people still took precautions (just like COVID), because everybody realised this is a big deal and to not do at least something would be incredibly selfish (just like…..oh wait, not like COVID, people were selfish during that). Restaurants that take bookings on that day carry out checks for weapons because you would in that situation. What’s not realistic is that this is still America, and there’s no “just because there’s a serial killer around doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to bring my gun everywhere I go. Yes, even into a restaurant, table for one since my wife left me, but gun didn’t. Gun still loves me” pushback from Fox News.

For two-thirds of this movie, I thoroughly enjoyed it, but the reveal REALLY let it down. As did two characters who were just unrealistically stupid, even for a horror movie. It is still a really solid 7.5/10, but it could have been so much more.

Love Hurts (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Marvin is a mild-manner realtor whose past (and ex-girlfriend) comes back to haunt him

I like Ke Huy Quan, he’s one of those people who you can easily imagine being late for an awards show because he needed to buy a coat for a stranger he saw who looked cold. I’m also becoming a fan of Marshawn Lynch, who seems to always go all out into ridiculousness (for proof of this, watch Bottoms. As in, the film called Bottoms, don’t watch strangers arsecheeks, that’s weird).

So with that in mind, it kind of (love) hurts me to say that this movie is not good. The concept is good, but the execution is lacking. The fight scenes are mostly okay, but some are shot with a lack of clarity so it’s difficult to figure out what is going on. It also suffers from a lack of “that” scene. There’s no fight scene that you can tell people “You need to see this” and pull it up on Youtube to show them. There are attempts at this (i get the feeling the fight in the club near the end was an attempt at this). There a few moments within the scenes which are fun, teeth being ripped out by duct tape was a particularly gruesome and wince-inducing moment.

There’s a foundation of a good idea here; an action-based romcom could work. But the romantic notions feel really tacked on. There are two main romances, both of which feel kind of abusive in different ways. I had no desire to see the romances work, I didn’t buy into them as real or heartwarming. We’re not given a reason to care about the potential relationships. I did have a fairly decent joke/Always Sunny reference here, but I had to delete it as it will suit my review of Matt and Mara much more accurately.

If you took away the romance angle then it would improve the experience, but it would also mean the film would lose its hook, its gimmick, and would then have to advertise itself as “a mild-mannered man turns out to be a hitman”, which is kind of cliche at this point. That’s another aspect I felt was underdeveloped; we are constantly told how Marvin was a vicious hitman, dangerous and incredibly sadistic. But we never really see it. We get flashbacks of the aftermath, but we don’t get moments of the past version of him torturing and harming people; so it’s hard to buy him as a reformed hitman, because we only see him on the defensive. He doesn’t even kill the people hunting him, in fact it seems like he’s doing his best to make sure they don’t die. I know “he’s reformed and now a nice guy”, but if someone is trying to decapitate you, I think you’re morally allowed to kick them in the head until their brain resembles blueberry pie.

The lack of deaths leads to my other problem; the lack of consequences. Characters get tased in public (with witnesses), their are fights in offices (which at the very least, the cleaners would notice when they come in the next day), and his boss gets murdered. None of those moments matter. The police don’t seem to be ienterested in this random uptick in violence, there’s no news report about someone being found dead with a straw in his eye, none of the action scenes have any consequence, they’re just levels in a video game the main character has to get through.

Now onto the good, the performances are all good. And there are moments where the fight scene works. It’s also sweet at times (but never enough to keep momentum). And I do appreciate that is at least TRYING something different. There are also some very funny moments.

In summary, a mediocre film that’s about 2 rewrites away from being a 10/10.

Companion (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A weekend getaway turns bloody and violent when a subservient android that’s built for human companionship goes haywire.

First Scream (the “new” one, not the original), now Companion. Why do female partners of Jack Quaid keep getting set on fire in horror movies? Amber Midthunder should be relieved that Novocaine will be an action movie instead of a horror (a movie I’m genuinely looking forward to by the way). On the subject of Quaid, why hasn’t anybody cast him as the son of Joshua Jackson in anything? He looks more like him than he does his own dad. Anyway, enough dilly-dallying, on with the actual review.

Companion is god damn delight. More of a thriller than it is a traditional horror movie. That doesn’t underplay the deaths by the way, when characters do die, it’s horrific. Some of the deaths are incredibly cathartic too, it’s good to see bad things happen to bad people. A lot of horror movie writers know this, but make the mistake of writing every character to be an insufferable dickbag (were there any tears for any of the characters in Unfriended outside of tears that it took so long?). In those cases, while you get catharsis, you’re also spending all your time with characters you don’t like, so it’s not an enjoyable experience. While most of the characters in Companion are unlikeable, it’s in a very human way and they’re still entertaining to watch. A lot of is due to the performances; there’s something inherently likeable about Jack Quaid even when he is being an incel douch, Harvey Guillen is too adorable for words, and Megan Suri? There’s something about her performance that is intoxicating to see, she has tremendous presence and feels like she’s destined for leading roles. It’s hard to explain why without giving away spoilers, but Lukas Cage pulls off a fascinating performance.

The story? It’s interesting. Yes, it can be argued that the trailer gives away too much, but Companion still has enough tricks up its sleeves to entertain you. You go in knowing what is happening, but the “why” is just as interesting to see play out. I like that Companion is unashamedly feminist AF, taking multiple shots at male entitlement and inadequacy. I’ve seen some defenders of the character in this, saying “he’s just lonely, why is that seen as a bad thing to want someone?” which would be a fair point, loneliness is a huge issue and one that does need a solution. But it’s very telling that when he’s asked to create his “perfect” partner, he tones down her intelligence significantly. He doesn’t want an equal partner, the robot is not to provide love or to share experiences with; it’s to fuck and to have it fawn over him.

There is a feeling that it is holding back at times. She increases her intelligence, but it doesn’t change that much of the plot (although it may be why she decides to switch language at one point in a scene which is, well it’s genius). There are other moments like that; where it comes up with a cool idea but then doesn’t do the most with it.

Those are very minor nitpicks though. Companion is among the best films I’ve seen in a while. It’s slick, stylish without being overly so, violent without being cruel, and it invites discussion and conversation. It’s smart without being pretentious, modern without risking being dated quickly, and digestible without being dumb. I want more horror movies like this. I also want to see Sophie Thatcher in more stuff, as she seems cool. On an equal level with Anya Taylor-Joy for expressive eyes perfect for horror movies. I caught a preview of this a few days before it came out, and I already know I’m going to buy it when it comes out on blu-ray.

Saturday Night (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: The world is not ready for the debut episode of Saturday Night Live, but then again, neither are the cast.

I need to start with what will be the core premise of this review: Saturday Night Live is a huge deal, despite fluctuations in quality over the years (and people who say the modern series are the worst have obviously never watched season 6), it’s still a big deal culturally and commercially.

In America. Outside? It only really gets mentioned when a guest is particularly noteworthy or controversial, and even then it never breaks through the cultural barrier past “people who are already aware of American pop culture”. The only time I have seen it mentioned lately my main thoughts aren’t “That’s funny”, it’s “FFS can someone tell these performers to keep a straight face for five minutes?” Americans reading this may feel a bit smug, thinking “knowledge of culture isn’t needed to see a film, just go see it”, and then refuse to watch the Robbie Williams monkey film because they don’t know who he is.

I have seen the first season of SNL, so I’m aware of who most of the characters in this are. That’s a good thing, as Saturday Night assumes you know them, and makes almost no effort to let you know who everybody is. Saturday Night is made for people who already know about the making of the show, and want to see it onscreen. There’s nothing to bring in the casuals. It never escapes the shadow of reality or does much to escape the incredibly specific fan service. The fan service is an issue because it creates a weirdness. We see things happen, like wondering what can happen when you mix Jim Belushi and a bee costume. That only works if you’re aware of what happened in the show, but if you’re aware of what happened, then you already know the first episode of SNL worked, so there’s no drama. At times it needs you to be unaware of reality, and at others, it depends on it for the jokes to work.

The performances are f*cking fantastic though. Cory Michael Smith as Chevy Chase is funnier than anything the real Chevy Chase has done in years (with the exception of the time that bitter old fuck fell over). Dylan O’Brien is surprisingly unrecognisable as Dan Aykroyd, disappearing completely into the role. I wish Emily Fairn (Laraine Newman) and Ella Hunt (Gilda Radnor) were given more to do as they seem pretty good in those roles (and I hella miss Gilda Radnor and love to see more of her, even if it is just a representation of her). In terms of “most like the performer they’re portraying”, Lamorne Morris as Garrett Morris is probably the best.

Saturday Night does contain some very funny moments. I particularly liked it when the writers clashed with Joan Carbunkle, who demanded they censor some of their more risque moments. The profane reaction to her demands are damn hilarious, and I want more of that. It’s one of the few times the movie stands still and lets you observe what’s happening, rather than quickly whipping around to the next historical moment.

I’d have absolutely loved it if this was a TV show instead, where we were given more time to know the characters, where the three-act structure of each episode was based around things we didn’t know, rather than the only thing we did.

Reitman has pulled off a FANTASTIC job of recreating NBC in the mid 70’s, but what he’s not done is given a reason to care about it. We’re not an audience, we’re voyeurs being taken for a ride through a world we’re not given a grounding in. It did make me watch SNL again, so yay that I guess?

A Complete Unknown (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Dylan goes electric! Eventually.

Bob Dylan is an odd kind of celebrity. If you asked someone “do you recognise the name Bob Dylan?”, the majority of the English-speaking Western world would say yes. They could also probably name some of his songs. “Now, here are five photos of men dressed in casual clothes. Which one is Bob Dylan?” would be a much harder question. It’s not just age, his look is oddly fluent. At times he looks like one of the most handsome men who’s existed, and at other times he looks like he’s about to ask you for spare change so he can buy a bottle of White Lightning. It’s why I’m Not There worked despite featuring a multitude of Dylans. All of this is a long way for me to say that I’m not entirely opposed to Timothee Chalamet as the title role. Yes, I had objections to his singing abilities in Wonka, but if you think it’s weird someone doesn’t sing Bob Dylan songs in perfect pitch, then you’ve never listened to Bob Dylan.

The performances were some of my favourite parts of A Complete Unknown (Or, ACU, pronounced Ack-oo), Monica Barbaro as Joan Baez is a particular highlight. Edward Norton is okay but is occasionally a bit too “Mr Rogers”, which he may have been in real life, I don’t know. Boyd Holbrook is an unexpectedly good Cash, not quite as good as Phoenix was, but good enough that you don’t sit there thinking “That’s not Phoenix”. I was pleasantly surprised with how well Scoot McNairy performed as Woody Guthrie. Not because I don’t rate him as a performer, but because at the time, Woody Guthrie was in very poor health due to his battle with Huntington’s Disease. That’s a very hard disease to pull off on screen, especially when it’s at the stage it was here. If you go too far it can come off as unrealistic and kind of offensive, but if you don’t go far enough then it downplays how horrific it can be. McNairy has a difficult balance to achieve but manages it. Best of all, nobody is a vocal failure in terms of singing either.

On the downside? The script itself is lacking. It’s kind of dull at times, suffering from a lack of focus. It’s primarily about a singular incident, the 1965 Newport Folk Festival. You know, a time when instead of getting offended at silly things like sexual assault and unelected billionaires in charge of everything, people got offended at things that really mattered, such as black people sitting on a bus, and a folk musician playing an electric guitar. That’s partly why it’s difficult to buy into this. Yes, it was a HUGE deal, but it’s something so incredibly stupid that it’s difficult to build an effective opposition. The people against him aren’t given enough of a defence that they seem logical. I know, the reality is unrealistic and all, it’s the same issue that films about MLK have, the viewpoints of his opposition were so ridiculous in reality it’s difficult to showcase them onscreen in an effective way.

It’s not helped by how the narrative doesn’t seem to be building towards that moment. It’s just a loose series of events connected by its main character, which happens to end at the folk festival. It’s not detailed enough to count as a proper biography, so you don’t really learn enough about him. Much like the Elvis film from a few years ago, he goes from (pardon the obvious) a complete unknown to a massive star almost instantly in screen time. It’s almost like ACU feels it has to tell us he’s a big deal, and how he became a big deal, before getting to the main crux, but then realised it ran out of time so had to fit the whole Folk Festival plot in very quickly.

I liked some of the character set-up though. The moments between him and Baez on stage are beautiful, particularly when that chemistry causes Dylans’ relationship to break up. No words need to be said, the chemistry between the two, and his girlfriend noticing that and storming off, says it all. Looking at it now, most of my favourite moments from this did involve the music. The bits of him complaining about his record label forcing him to record an album of mostly covers? Meh. Dylan is surrounded by industry suits and feels like a musical prostitute. Okay, nothing special. Dylan sings The Times They Are A-Changing for the first time and the crowd spontaneously joins in? Magic. Dylan plays Song To Woody to Woody as Pete Seeger watches? Beautiful.

As a tool to learn about Bob Dylan? It’s not that great. As a way for people who are already aware of Bob Dylan to see some of the moments onscreen? It’s pretty cool. If you know the players involved in this story, it is fascinating to see them. If you don’t? There’s not enough for you to delve into.

Much like Bob Dylan himself, it feels like ACU truly comes alive when it’s onstage, and the day-to-day life is kind of not worth examining.

Wolf Man (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Blake Lovell (Christopher Abbot) takes his wife and kid on a vacation to his childhood home. His vacation-as-marriage-counselling efforts are somewhat thwarted by a therianthropic threat intent on killing.

I’m a fan of Christopher Abbott, based ENTIRELY on the fact that I liked the first film I saw him in (On The Count Of Three). Wolf Man having him as the lead, combined with it being made by Leigh Whannell (writer of Saw, director of The Invisible Man) got my hopes up high.

Maybe too high. I didn’t dislike Wolf Man. The last wolf-based movie I watched at the cinema was (I think, but I could be wrong) Wolf, a film so bad that I live-blogged it for Halloween a few years ago, and I haven’t live-blogged anything since. This is nowhere near as bad as that. The score on Metacritic currently stands at 50%, which seems fair. It’s as middle-of-the-road as a dead badger. Not much really stands out as either a negative or a positive.

The biggest negative for me was the story itself. The cause of the transformation feels unearned. It’s as close to “character was bitten by a zombie, but the audience doesn’t realise” as it’s possible to get. He’s in an accident, stuff happens, and he gets scratched by the “wolf” attacking him. He starts transforming later on, and you do get the feeling that you’ve missed something. It’s all the more baffling because near the end of his transformation, there is a moment where his leg is grabbed and he’s attacked. That would have made a much more logical cause for the infection, and it wouldn’t have been in the middle of a car crash scene. The reveal of who the Wolf Man that’s attacking them is is so obvious that I’m not sure it even counts as a twist. “Hmmmm, this character mysteriously disappeared 30 years ago in this very area, and now we’re being attacked by something with slight human characteristics that’s been haunting these wolves for decades. I wonder if those two things are linked?”

The visual effects are fine, I guess? Nothing will ever top An American Werewolf In London for a transformation sequence with weight and body horror, there are moments where Wolf Man comes close, but then there are also moments where it looks a little bit goofy.

On the plus side, the performances are good, Abbot is good enough that you forgive him for Kraven The Hunter (although I completely forgot he was even in that), the biggest issue I have with Matilda Firth is that she was born in 2014 and that makes me feel old. I was most impressed with Julia Garner. She has such a great look, it’s a mix between 80’s Scream Queen and Classic Hollywood Beauty mixed with a smidgen of Crazy Art Teacher/Madonna. She’s in the new Fantastic Four movie which I’m now looking forward to 12% more because of her involvement.

I also have to praise Wolf Man for the scenes from Blake’s world. The visuals, the audio etc all combine to create something new and also make sense. Once the colour change happens you somehow INSTANTLY know that we’re now in his perspective. It would have been so easy to demonstrate it by saying, “This is what he can see,” in a POV shot, but keeping it in a third-person viewpoint is much more visually interesting. It also allows for transitions between Blake’s version of reality and reality reality to be smoother than a Barry White ballad. As a writer, it’s easy to see moments where you think “I would not have done that”, but as a director, it’s difficult to not be thoroughly impressed with what Whannell has pulled off. I have criticised this film, but I appreciate that it made an effort. It instilled emotional scenes, it added character depth so they all seem like actual humans as opposed to just “characters in a horror movie”. So while I have criticised it, I would MUCH rather something like this exist than “Generic Horror Movie Number 57”.

Here (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Multiple generations of couples and families inhabit the same home over the course of a century.

I knew one thing before sitting down to watch this: the CGI used to de-age Tom Hanks was not good. I have to be honest, that didn’t bother me that much. There are moments where you can see the CGI and you’re brought out of the narrative, but it doesn’t happen anywhere near as much as it could.

Here is a fascinating watch, all taking place at the exact same location over the course of hundreds of years in a non-linear fashion. The non-linear nature was a smart choice because it allows you to see how actions can influence people years later. It also allows for more interesting transitions because you can see the changes.

That leads me to the visual downside. Here doesn’t fade directly from one scene to the next, there’s also no attempt to make it look like it’s one scene. Instead, it brings up a small box on the screen which contains the same location at a different time or with different people, it’s only once you get used to that new scene that the movie moves on fully. It’s visually compelling, but there’s one major drawback. It makes it difficult to be invested in the current scene as you’re always seeing what’s next. It would be like if the “here’s what’s up next” part of television shows happened halfway through the episode instead of at the end. The constant look into the future stops you from focusing on the present, Here never exists in the moment, instead just constantly dangling the narrative carrot in front of you and waiting for you to catch up.

As much as it is cool to see it through the different time periods, there’s a definite focus on what happened after 1945; with the characters from then onwards being the ones we see the most of. To be honest, they’re the only ones needed. Yes, the look into the Lenni-Lenape couple and their courtship and burial rituals are interesting, and the William Franklin connection does come into play in the present-day scenes, but they’re not needed. They feel like narrative sorbets designed to cleanse our palate. The post-Young scenes also aren’t that interesting, seemingly just there to remind us that COVID existed, and police racism still does. If anybody watched this movie without those scenes, nobody would say “hey! This family drama set from 1945-2000 doesn’t focus on 2020 pandemics and race relations enough”. It feels like they were put in there just because Zemeckis feels this is an “important” movie, and “important” movies need to discuss themes.

I hate to sound like a Daily Mail reader, but this needed less politics. If it focused just on the family and their life in the house, it would be a much more interesting watch. I can accept the scenes of the house being built, because the house is a character, so seeing how it was “birthed” could also tie in thematically, but we didn’t need the inventor, the wannabe flier etc. If you cut out all the fluff, it would be much shorter. That’s not too big an improvement, as timing isn’t an issue. The “here’s what’s next” nature of the visuals means that even when you’re not interested, you’re still paying attention, so it flies by much quicker than it should.

In summary, it’s an interesting art experience, not a great movie. As much as I did enjoy the narrative, it feels like it’s trying too hard to move you. It’s so heavy-handed that if it slapped you it would knock you out. As Peter Sobczynski said in his review posted on rogerebert.com “there is a point when you find yourself thinking that the only thing that Zemeckis hasn’t thrown into the mix is a needle drop of ‘Our House’ and then he proceeds to do just that”. It’s not a terrible film, but it’s not one that wouldn’t have worked better as a 20 minute short instead. Also, a simply terrible title that makes it really awkward to talk about.

Nosferatu (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Do you really need me to tell you the story for this? Just watch the original.

There was a lot of hype for this. I have been excited since I first heard of it back in 2016, even mentioning how I was looking forward to it in my review of The Witch (or The VVitch). Many journalists and critics raved about early screenings of it.

But then I heard from actual people; moviegoers who I like and respect. Their feedback wasn’t quite as positive. And I agree with them, I was not a fan of this movie. For whatever reason, I just didn’t care about what I was seeing. I haven’t seen the original from the 1920s, but I know it (mainly through the Kill Count video I recently watched). At no point while watching New-sferatu did I feel I was watching something original. It never felt like anything other than a remake. It’s so heavily indebted to its sources that it never feels like it has its own identity.

My other issue is the filming style. A lot of dialogue is delivered straight to the camera, from the receiving person’s POV. As such, there’s a disconnect between everybody, it kind of reminds me of television shows made during COVID where everybody had to socially distance themselves.

Eggers is a fantastic filmmaker, there’s no doubt about that. The visual style is arresting, with every frame mesmerising and haunting, particularly with the use of light and shadow. As a storyteller? I’m afraid that’s his weakness. None of the characters seem that interesting, Ellen Hunter, in particular feeling more of a storytelling device than an actual character. The title character also doesn’t seem that interesting. He’s played well, looks good, but the character itself doesn’t seem to have any presence; when he’s not onscreen, you don’t feel him looming over the narrative.

The performances are fine, Lily-Rose Depp has a haunted look which really suits the character and themes, Nicholas Hoult was made for these movies, and Dafoe continues to be fucking weird. Dafoe and Eggers work well together, their styles suit each other.

Like I said; all the technical parts? Brilliant. All the parts that require how to make a movie? Brilliant. All the parts that require imagination and heart? Lacking. Remakes should showcase and do what couldn’t be done in the original. All we have here is more of the same. It doesn’t remind me of classic Dracula stories, what it does remind me of? Gus Van Sant’s remake of Psycho.

A Real Pain (2024) Review

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Quick Summary: Mild-mannered David (Jesse Eisenberg takes a trip through historical Poland with his cousin, Manic Depressive Pixie Dream Bro Benji (Kieran Culkin)

God damn it 2025! (Yes, I’m aware this film is technically a 2024 film, but it wasn’t released in cinemas here until 2025, so I’m counting it as a 2025 film). 2025 has broken the established rules of cinema-watching already. It’s supposed to go: January is where the expected failures go, the ones the studio is attempting to hide. That way I can talk about how I’m worried if the year is going to be any good. A Real Pain has callously disregarded that rule by being one of the best films I’ve seen in a long time. If it had been released last year, it would have won Best Film, and that’s how good it was. Looking ahead, it’s really hard to see what will beat it.

So why does this movie work? It feels like it was made for me. It’s incredibly character-based, with even the side characters having enough individuality to feel like real people. It’s emotional AF, with moments that WILL break you. The performances are all damn fine too. This is the best that Eisenberg has ever been, he actually seems like a character rather than just Eisenberg again. I haven’t seen Succession yet so I can’t judge whether this is the best Culkin has been, but it’s the best I’ve seen him. The chemistry between the two feels so natural, you do get the feeling they’ve known each other for a long time.

I have to mention Will Sharpe too, his meek whilst trying to stay in charge nature provides a foil to the chaos of Culkin (I think I saw Chaos Of Culkin supporting Dropkick Murphys back in ’04). My main takeaway when it comes to the cast is that it’s nice to see Jennifer Grey again. She’s not my favourite performer, but I (and there’s no logical reason for this) have always felt a great warmth towards her and want to do well.

Be warned, this is not an easy watch. I don’t mean in terms of weirdness or difficulty in understanding. I mean it’s so emotional that there are times you may find it difficult to take in. It’s here where the performances and the script shine. Yes, the funny moments are brilliant (the moment where Culkin’s character Benji meets the rest of the group is so well-written in terms of humour and character introduction), but it’s not the laughs that you’ll remember. You’d think it would be the scene at the concentration camp that would break you, but I was personally more affected by the scenes on either side. Before it you have Benji ranting about how weird it is that tourists and camp descendants take a comfortable train there. The scene after the camp is much less dialogue-based, but just as much Benji. It’s simply him breaking down into hysterical tears.

Those two scenes are emotional, brilliant, and damn brilliant. But still might not be among my favourite scenes. There’s one that takes place near a statue that I think is close to perfection in terms of group dynamics and humour out of darkness and one at a restaurant where Jesse Eisenberg delivers a stunning monologue about Benji, revealing some truths that help explain so much about the character.

If I had to be negative? The ending could be better. I get why it ended the way it did, but it feels like the film has just had sex and is lying there in an awkward post-coital haze rather than just putting its money on the counter and leaving the room. The visuals often aren’t that interesting. That isn’t necessarily a massive negative, as there’s only so much you can do visually when a film is as character and dialogue-based as this is. But there were one or few moments where I thought “If this shot was better, it would be an all-timer”. As I said, these are mild criticisms, and I had to undergo a 10-week yoga training session as I REALLY had to stretch for them. My main disappointment is that Benji is male because if the character was female I could describe them as a Manic Shiksa Dream Girl. I guess Manic Depressive Pixie Dream Bro is good too, but nowhere near as clever.

In summary; one of the best films I’ve ever seen, and one that’s damned the next few films I watch to feel worse by comparison.

2024 In Film: Day 10 (The Amazeballs)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Alien: Romulus
Ups: Tense.
Great performances.
Perfectly ties into the original.
Downs: Some obvious fanservice.
Not enough focus on background characters.
Some of the CGI is a little “off”.
The third act stalls too much.
Best Performer: Cailee Spaeny
Best Moment: The spacewalk through acid blood.
Worst Moment: Not for me, but the “Stay away from her. You bitch” moment has caused a lot of outrage from people.
Opening: A space probe investigates the wreckage of the ship from the first movie. They decide to bring in a large cocooned alien that’s floating nearby. Stupid, but believable.
Closing: Rain enters stasis, with no idea what will happen next. Smart, because it closes the story, but also leaves it open to a sequel if needed.
Best Line: You don’t help her. You run. Get out, however you got in
Original review here

American Fiction
Ups: Incredibly important.
Very funny.
Incredibly intricate plot work.
Downs: Divisive subject matter.
Issa Rae’s character feels slightly underwritten.
Best Performer: Tough, Jeffrey Wright I guess, but Sterling K. Brown is close.
Best Moment: The initial phone call with the publishers.
Worst Moment: The rug pool near the end feels a little unearned.
Opening: A college student complains to her (black) teacher that she’s not comfortable with the N-word, he notes if he can get used to it, she can. Sums up this film; funny, smart, and sets a fire of fury that it is determined to stoke.
Closing: A film based on Monk’s book is being made, and it’s clear that nobody understands the point of his work, leaving him famous but frustrated.
Best Line: “I just think it’s essential to listen to Black voices right now” said by three characters who discount the opinions of the only black people in the room.
Original review here

Boy Kills World
Ups: Batshit insane.
Funny.
Creative action scenes.
Downs: One of the “twists” is a bit obvious.
Music choices don’t stand out.
Best Performer: Jessica Rothe
Best Moment: The first warehouse fight.
Worst Moment: The “twist” is a little underwhelming
Opening: Boys family are executed. Kind of (it’s explained later). Really well done. Doesn’t quite show the batshit insanity the film later perfects, so tonally doesn’t QUITE match.
Closing: The family are reunited. Sweet, but something about it just doesn’t match the rest of the film.
Best Line: When something’s special enough, you can always go back to it. So let’s make this special. Are you with me?
Original review here

Civil War
Ups: Emotional.
Brutal.
Important.
Downs: More backstory would be nice.
A bit too brutal at times, I felt I needed a break.
Best Performer: Cailee Spaeny
Best Moment: The body pit. Harrowing.
Worst Moment: The death of Lee feels slightly unearned.
Opening: Lee meets Jessie after saving her from an explosion. Quite sweet, and helps explain WHY the characters react to each other as they do. Jessie feels admiration towards Lee, and Lee feels Jessie isn’t careful enough.
Closing: The president gets killed. No idea what will happen next.
Best Line: Every time I survived a war zone, I thought I was sending a warning home – “Don’t do this”. But here we are.
Original review here

Inside Out 2
Ups: Emotional AF.
New cast members and characters blend in perfectly.
“Sometimes you’re the asshole” is an important lesson to learn.
Downs: Very similar to the first one.
Best Performer: Amy Poehler
Best Moment: The panic attack. Seems pretty accurate.
Worst Moment: Joy getting rid of the negative memories makes it seem like she didn’t learn from the first movie.
Opening: A standard “here’s what’s new” showing Riley’s friendships. IO2 does focus more on Riley than the first one, but still not enough.
Closing: Riley finds out if she got on the hockey team. She finds out, we don’t. I get why they went with that, but it is a slightly underwhelming ending.
Best Line: I don’t know how to stop Anxiety. Maybe we can’t. Maybe this is what happens when you grow up. You feel less joy.
Original review here

Paddington In Peru
Ups: Exactly what is needed right now.
Utterly charming.
Funny and weird.
A worthy addition to the franchise.
Downs: Do kind of miss Sally Hawkins.
Kind of predictable at times.
Best Performer: Ben Whishaw. I know other performers are better, but this movie lives and dies on his vocal performance. Carla Tous deserves a special mention though.
Best Moment: Paddington surrounded by other bears. Is very sweet and does make you wonder if he’s staying.
Worst Moment: The Paddington In Peru song. Goes on too long.
Opening: Paddington gets a letter. I will say this, PIP does not take long to get to the actual story.
Closing: Hugh Grant’s back!
Best Line: The Lord works in suspicious circumstances.
Original review here

The Iron Claw
Ups: So damn sad!
Good performances.
Good music.
Does a good job of bringing non-fans into the weird world of professional wrestling.
Downs: Skips over quite a lot, including a whole person.
Chronology is all over the place.
Best Performer: Efron.
Best Moment: The afterlife scene, would have been overly schmaltzy and stupid in something else, but it REALLY works here.
Worst Moment: Ric Flair. A diabolically bad performance.
Opening: Fritz buys an expensive vehicle without telling his wife. Not necessary in terms of narrative, but does a good job of setting up his personality of being overly domineering and hiding it under a veneer of love.
Closing: Kevin cries. It’s actually a huge deal as he’s been suppressing his emotions. His kids promise to always be there for him. Genuinely made me tear up remembering it.
Best Line: “I used to be a brother, now I don’t have any brothers”. Based on a true line. It will BREAK you.
Original review here

Transformers One
Ups: Much more mature than you’d expect it to be.
Looks slick.
Good performances.
Downs: Slight ending fatigue.
Best Performer: Brian Tyree Henry
Best Moment: The start of darkness for Megatron. Damn near perfect. The performance, the emotion, it all makes SOO much sense.
Worst Moment: The race, because as good as it is, it could be better.
Opening: Explains the lore, which I’m very glad of because I’m not that familiar with it.
Closing: The battle lines are drawn. I really hope this gets a sequel.
Best Line: “No, I want to kill him”. The moment everything changes and it becomes brilliant.
Original review here