I was browsing the book of Face the other day. In between the adverts for businesses in other countries, transphobic memes that have been “suggested for you”, and pages “we think you’d like” that are just hateful shit, I saw a Bowling For Soup post that said they had recorded a cover of Friend Like Me for a new Disney covers album. Now I love that shit, I love covers, I love pop punk, so a whole album full of that is my jam. On the downside, it is Disney and there is a concern that by buying that album I agreed to donate my organs to Disney before I die. Also, some of the choices are weird, would it not have made more sense for a woman to cover Surface Pressure instead of someone who wrote a song about a woman he met at a party and never saw again? So, much like we’ve already done for Bleed American and Black Parade, it’s time to speak about the better options. The only rule is; no Bowling For Soup, otherwise it would be them doing it all. Oh, and try to keep it to one song from each film (a rule which meant I couldn’t have NoFX doing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, which is good because then I would have had to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and I’m not completely sure I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious correctly).
Rainbow Connection (Link to the original song here) – Ben Folds with Regina Spektor
This one is tricky, Weezer already did a pretty damn good cover of this (featuring guest vocals from Hayley Williams). You need something simple but also majestic. A musician that wouldn’t be out of place with just them and a keyboard/piano/ukulele/electric triangle, but who would also suit a full orchestral/vocal backing for the closing stretch. With that in mind, Regina Spektor was my first choice. As I was looking for a song to post to back up that opinion I dug up the song she made with Ben Folds, after that, I couldn’t unhear the version this could be. Starting off slow, just Ben Folds alone on a piano, an echo on the vocals so it sounds like he’s singing in an empty room, then when you get to the final verse, the strings kick in, as does Regina Spektor’s vocals. It would be emotional, powerful, and so damn perfect. There is a worry that it would come off as being too similar to the aforementioned Weezer cover, but I feel Folds and Spektor are different enough that it will have enough differences.
The case for the defence: Us – Regina Spektor. A great showcase for Spektor’s powerful voice which will help the closing section work.
Brick – Ben Folds Five. To show how bleak and depressing Ben Folds can be at times.
The Bed Song – Amanda Palmer. This is the kind of effect I want for the solo Ben Folds parts. That feeling of musical isolation and emptiness.
The Bare Necessities (link to the original song here) – Less Than Jake
Now this is tricky, mainly because the best cover already exists, no, not the John Goodman and Haley Joel Osment, it’s the Bowling For Soup one. How are you going to get something to match that level of joy and fun? Simple, the same thing you do with your Sims relationships when you have the new Romance update; make it super horny. A horn section makes everything better, even funerals. If they can find a way to merge it into I Wanna Be Like You then even better.
The Case For The Defence: Gainesville Rock City – Less Than Jake
We Bare Bears – Skatune Network. Proof that ska makes everything better
When You Wish Upon A Star (link to the original song here) – Puddles Pity Party
I knew I had to have this song on this album, and I knew I couldn’t fuck about with it. I couldn’t change it too much, I had to instead just enhance what was already there. The deep voice, the resonance, the performance. As has so often been the case in life; I turned towards a depressed clown. Puddles in particular. If you’re English and watch live TV, you have heard one of his cover versions, you just don’t know it. His cover of All The Small Things was used in a Christmas advert last year, I can’t remember which one because all Christmas adverts are the same, they’re essentially “Emotion! Feelings!” with no focus on the actual product or shop. I believe he could pull this off, and it would be fucking magnificent. This is the only one where I actually had to check the artist I chose hadn’t already done it.
The case for the defence: All The Small Things. That level of showmanship and old school brilliance is whats needed to make this work.
Stressed Out The song that made me fall in love with this artist
Be Our Guest (Link to the original song here) – Marina And The Diamonds
For this, I had one goal: strange time signatures mixed with a kooky danceability. Essentially, I needed it to sound like it was made by an art student. Sadly, Do Me Bad Things wouldn’t work as it would be too messy. I needed something relatively simple but effective. For this I’m thinking of it lacking strings in the background, it will be all synth-pop gloriousness.
The case for the defence; Ancient Dreams In A Modern Land A demonstration of the kind of synth dance feel I’m going far.
Oh No! Her most popular song, and the one which demonstrates the drumbeat backing I’ll be looking for.
Feed The Birds (Link to the original song here) – Meryl Streep
A weird choice, I know. Streep is generally known more as an actor than a singer (and a pretty good one too, in case the CONSTANT awards didn’t give that away) but she has sung in a few roles before. You may assume I heard Streep sing in Mamma Mia, but that would mean I had to watch that film, and that’s too much effort. Instead, I’m going with this based on her song from the VERY New York murder mystery show Only Murders In The Building. I feel she’d do a good job with this. Plus both Streep and Andrews have worked with Anne Hathaway, which doesn’t mean anything but like Marge Simpson with a potato, I just found that neat.
The case for the defence: Look For The Light. I kind of think I should put Ashley Park somewhere on this album but not sure where.
A Whole New World (Link to the original song here) – Brendon Urie with Sara Bareilles.
Based on the last song, I was going to put Ashley Park here, I was looking for some of her songs to put in the defence and some of her stuff with Girls5Eva from the TV show of the same name. As good as she is, I feel Sara Bareilles is the musical star, and it would be weird to overlook her. I knew I was going to have Panic guy as the lead though as I needed something bombastic and theatrical. On the actual album that inspired this blog, it’s being sung by Yellowcard, which might work, but I have a worry it will be flat. The version I’ve chosen here I think will soar and be as majestic as it deserves. Plus, no matter what, it’s going to be better than the fucking Jordan one.
Case for the defence: Into The Unknown – Panic At The Disco. They clearly have no objection to doing a Disney song, and this demonstrates how full-blown I want it to be.
Gravity – Sara Bareilles. The millennial equivalent of that Sarah Mclachlan song that makes everybody cry.
Part Of Your World (Link to the original song here) – Chrissy Costanza
This was unexpected. I asked someone for suggestions for a female vocalist for the previous song and someone suggested this artist, although it turns out they meant We Are The In Crowd, but I’m glad they introduced me to this band. I’m glad she suggested it though as it solved I problem I had. I was concerned this album wasn’t upbeat enough. I had emotion, I had theatrics, but I haven’t had much fun yet. I needed more pop punk, and this was perfect. Whilst also being melodic enough to not be a huge departure.
The case for the defence: Part Of Your World – New Found Glory. The kind of thing I’m aiming for, it will be similar to this version but different enough to stand out.
If Looks Could Kill – Chrissy Costanza The song that introduced me to this band
This Is Halloween (Link to the original song here) – Qveen Herby
Continuing with the upbeat theme, this time more hip hop/r&b based. The background beats for this will be HEAVY and slow. I feel Herby could do something weird with this where you know it’s different but you can’t quite figure out what she’s changed about it. I’m not sure what way she’d go with it, whether she would quicken the pace, slow it down, or change nothing. But I’m excited to see it.
The case for the defence: Barbie Girl. For if she does a more straight cover
Sade In The 90’s. For if she decided to go a bit more sensual and laid back
Surface Pressure (Link to the original song here) – K.Flay
This was probably the hardest one (and Can You Feel The Love Tonight which can clearly only be covered by Queen, and as such can’t be included). The version on the actual album is going to be done by Plain White T’s, them of the “I met a girl once at a party and wrote a song about her, no I’m not creepy why do you ask?” and I haven’t heard it yet but I’m assuming it’s going to “rock” (make a note of the deliberately small r) which is a weird choice. I knew it had to be performed by a female vocalist, that part was non-negotiable for me, but which vocalist? Part of me wanted to lean into the emotion, much like the Amanda Palmer cover does, maybe by going with Kesha in full Bob Dylan cover mode. But if a depressing slow ethereal cover already exists, will I be doing more of the same by having that version? A small part of me also wanted to lean into the flamenco aspects and have Bitter Ruin do a version, but I feel that would mean either wasting the brilliant guitar playing of Ben Richards or having that overshadow the vocals. I needed to do something noticeably different. I decided to lean into the slight hip-hop aspect of it, and pick a white girl from Illinois. This will work though, she creates good beats which will replace the instrumentation of the original, and can manage to do both fast vocal delivery and then heavy emotion. It might not be as good as the original, but it will be strong enough to justify its existence.
The case for the defence: Self Esteem. Where she changes a cover version AND showcases emotion, both will be vital.
Blood In The Cut. To showcase her beat creation
Four Letter Words. To demonstrate that she does have a sense of playfulness and speed.
Yes, I know he’s already been in a Batman film, but anybody who see’s that one quickly wishes they hadn’t, so it doesn’t count. People say casting Batman is hard, try casting Gordon, imagine trying to find someone who can match Gary Oldman’s performance! Tommy Lee Jones is good at doing the whole “gruff cop” thing, he played it to perfection in The Fugitive. And if Ben Afleck can play an older Batman, then we need an even older Gordon, and whilst Tommy Lee Jones is old, there’s no doubt in anybody’s mind that he’s still got it. He still has the ability to become his character and entrance the audience with his performance.
The Perks of being a Wallflower could work well as most male incarnations of the character, I see him best as Tim Drake, the third, and to me most interesting, Robin. He always focused more on the detective side of Batman (he becomes Robin by working out who Batman is, like a badass) instead of just the physical like Dick Grayson seems to. Also, he lacks the usual tragedy in his past that motivates him to be Robin; instead doing it because he recognises Batman’s need for a Robin.
an it did in the original source material). Robin should not be the finished article, he should be someone who needs guidance, who needs Bruce, but pretends he doesn’t. He basically needs to be a young adult acting like a petulant child. But you also need to remember that he is still Robin, so his still very dangerous and could possibly kill you due to being trained in weaponry, but not being too great at stopping himself. I think Egerton could do that, he could pull off that dangerous apprentice, and then, when the time comes, move onto further things with the character.
we’re not just myths), enjoy it mainly just for the entertainingly camp yet oddly menacing fun he gave in his every scene in the overwrought film. He was a needed shot in the arm of fun the film needed. But ‘camp yet oddly menacing’ is not a good description for Lex Luthor, it is however a perfect description for one of Batman’s more zany villains, The Riddler. Some people seem to think Eisenberg was trying to be Ledger’s Joker with his performance, and who really the fuck knows. But! Change his name, outfit and give him riddles to constantly weave, and you’d have a pitch perfect Riddler; the fun camp of Carrey’s but with some genuine menace more akin with Nicholson’s Joker. Sounds good to me.
perfect casting. But there is a bit more to it than that, I swear. One thing Hardy’s take on the behemoth captured well was how charismatic Bane is, a master of words as well as muscles, but it’s the latter of that is something I don’t think he captured as well. Yeah Hardy was big, but he wasn’t Bane big (I know I know, Nolan realism and all that), that’s where I think Dwayne could come in magnificently; as if there are two things The Rock is known for, it’s being fucking huge, and being very charismatic. The real hurdle would be whether someone as lovable as Dwayne Johnson can play a threatening villain convincingly and I don’t know, but I think he could. Again I think his sheer size will be his trump card in that department, and I think we can all agree we’ve seen less threatening looking people pull off being evil. Cough. One Hour Photo. Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough.
Dafoe has made a career of playing deranged and creepy characters, so topping it off with the Clown Prince of Crime just seems natural (and who cares if he’s already played an iconic super villain? No one gives a shit Chris Evan’s played the human torch anymore.) But it’s beyond him just playing crazy well; it’s the lairs and distinctive ways he can play crazy, from a comical bloodsucker in Shadow of the Vampire, to a just plain nasty hitman in Wild at Heart, to just playing fairly normal guys in Platoon
ff, now go away). Seriously, watch Nightcrawler, he’s insanely brilliant there with a sense of danger and fun that would make him perfect for the role of the Joker. The “fun” there is the most important aspect there for me, Heath Ledgers Joker was disturbing, no doubt about that, but it wasn’t that funny. The Joker should be a clown, their should be a comedic side to him, even if that comedic side is slow-cooked in sociopathy. For proof of this, what’s the definitive Joker story? The one most people use as a reference point for that character? Answer: The Killing Joke. Now, how does that story end? Answer: with a joke. The Joker tells Batman a joke mid fight scene that makes him break down in laughter (and maybe causes Batman to kill him, if certain 
completely recreated the mad scientist with a freeze-ray into a sympathetic Shakespearean tragedy; a normal man who only became the villain we know because he was betrayed while trying to save his wife’s life, and then became stricken with grief ready to go to any extreme needed to avenge her. So who better to bring this bald heart of ice to life than this classically trained bald thespian? As when he’s not trying to kill boy wizard’s. Fiennes is known for his startling character acting, bringing depth and nuance to countless characters; from portraying Nazi’s to a Hotel concierge. Add in his action experience in the Harry Potter Series and you have an actor seemingly born to bring this chilling villain to heart stopping life.
n his emotional arc won’t be as effective as it was in the animated series due to English being the actors second language. But there’s a lot of characters in this hypothetical film, and I feel the villain who will have the least screen time would be Freeze, so you won’t have time to go into his tragic backstory, you need someone with presence who can come in for a few scenes and knock it out the park, and I feel he can do that.
Batman v Superman are siting him as the best thing about it; but as my co-producer said, this is recasting, so we have to recast. So I choose the grizzled British badass himself Clive Owen because… well look at him. Those eyes. That chin! He’s shown he has the charm and wit to play a convincingly smarmy Bruce Wayne in films like Closer, and the action experience and intensity to be a terrifying Batman. Again another older pick, so realistically there would be a restriction to how long he could play the part, but who cares!
of 2011’s Hal Jordan Green Lantern film, I think a change of pace with the hero is needed. Now Michael B. Jordan maybe a bit young to play the part, but he’s a fast rising star who’s already proven himself to have the chops to carry a film and do action well, so a younger take on the character could easily work, and add some needed levity to the DCCU. Honestly Jordan would make the perfect Cyborg too, having already voiced the character in Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox, but we didn’t include him on this list because well, who thinks of Cyborg when you think of the Justice League!
Ryan Gosling
en by Bryan Lee O’Malley, I have been a fan of his work since I read his latest graphic novel, the funny and poignant Seconds, and his first graphic novel the very poignant and funny Lost at Sea; both of which are excellent. But Scott Pilgrim is his greatest achievement so far; combining fun and funny geekerific humor with an interesting story and a host of relatable characters.
Now as I said the film is an action comedy, with the romance there to thread together all the epic fight scenes and video game gags, and when it comes to fights and gags the film has it fucking spot on! The look, style and tone of each fight is very true to the style of the comics, and even the tweaks and changes they made to the fights (in the comic the twins are robotic engineers not techno musicians) are very in keeping with it. There is even a lot of dialogue and scenes recreated verbatim from the comic….but (and I think you could all feel that coming) despite all these aspects (which are basically the movie) it gets right, I have come to dislike the film. This isn’t just because of all the fascinating side-character backstory and development they left out, that’s just adaption for you, or that the lead characters Scott and Ramona are fairly off (though I will get to that). It’s because it got the tone and heart of the story wrong.
I know and accept that when adapting a six volume series into a two hour film a lot of details are going to have to be changed and left out, but I can’t forgive that the core of the book (the maturing and the romance) was one of them! And I KNOW it’s there in the film…But Scott and Ramona’s romance is there just for motivation and plot so that the fights scenes can happen…but it’s not what the film is about. I would have been fine for them to cut one or two of the ex’s out (the twin’s being the easiest) in favor of more time to develop the romance, but nope, perish the thought of missing one minute of the nerdgasm fight scenes.
okay. He captured the geekiness and immaturity of Scott well enough, and was funny and likable to a point…because he was just playing Michael Cera. What he really lacked was the charm and boundless charisma Scott has, that despite his looser ways draws people to him, and makes sense how he has so many friends and ex’s. Cera is just too meek and awkward to pull that off, Scotts the loveable slacker (like Fry from Futurama really), not just an awkward dweeb. He also couldn’t connect with the emotional side of Scott, which to those who have read the series know is vital to his character, Cera always opting for a gag or funny line over a real moment (and I know that’s on Edgar Write just as much).
Anton Yelchin as Scott Pilgrim: not a perfect fit, but the damn closest I could think of. His most famous turn as Chekov in the Star Trek reboot (that isn’t his real accent by the way) proves he can be funny, dorky, and energetic. His lead role in the enjoyable Fright Night remake shows he can lead a film with charisma and be plenty charming. And his role in the underrated romantic drama Like Crazy, more than proves he has the dramatic chops to add the depth and lonely nuance Cera sorely lacked.
faced and cool to me Ramona. The Romona Flowers’ of the comics is an emotional tornado of spunk and bad decisions, yes there is a cool hipness to her, but most of all she is an adorable, free spirited, mess, who has just as much growing up to do as Scott; that’s why you bought them together. Mary Elizabeth Winstead just looked and acted too good for Scott in the film, gone is the hyperness and vulnerability, in its place smugness and an air of sweet superiority. It always felt like she was just playing with Scott and not actually interested in him deeply.
Anyway…
Welcome, welcome, welcome. We’ve been doing this for a while now and thought we’d try a new series: Recasting. In this we’ll both be looking at established franchises and casting our ideal movie versions. Throughout the series we’ll be looking at franchises such as Batman, Justice League, Artemis Fowl etc. But we’ll start with The Saga Of Darren Shan, a literary franchise which isn’t well known, but is well regarded. Now, this has already had a film adaptation (to stretch the definition): 
This was actually the hardest one for me. I had to find a young enough actor who would age well with the series. One who could have both the youthful naivety of the first few books, with the fight of the last few. So in the end I decided to go with: Nicholas Hoult. When you watch About A Boy you just see the look of innocence on his face. Someone who still has hope and joy, then you watch Mad Max: Fury Road years later and you realise he will cut a bitch
racter, as he is so messed up and troubled. He also has a much broader physical presents than Asa Butterfield, and his ability to come across sweet and caring as well as intense as fuck (again Perks of being a wallflower) I can definitely see him in a strong opposition to Butterfield.
always been an ambiguous character, the leader of Cirque du freak and possibly so much more, he needs to loom confidantes with a tinge of menace, but also be a kind soul who can sympathies with his many freak comrades. So of cause Mr Oldman not only has the acting range to pull off all of the above, but he has the stoic look and presents to match.
nervous and manipulative nature nature of the character quite well.
Troubled Productions 