Author: troubledproductions

Missing (2023)

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Quick Synopsis: June is a teenage girl whose mother disappears whilst on vacation. Using technology and long-distance phone calls, she attempts to solve the mystery of her mothers’ disappearance in this screen life thriller.

This film genuinely annoys me. The fact it exists annoys me. The concept annoys me. More importantly, the script, and general quality of the film annoys me. I should not pretty much have a winner for “Best film of 2023” this fucking early.

It’s supposed to be “I see a pretty good film early on in the year, stuff I love but I am aware isn’t going to be among the best I see”, and then halfway through the year the genuine best movies start to come out. This has ruined that. It’s going to take something special to beat this. Everything about it works. It’s technically a sequel to Searching, which is one of my favourite films of all time. It takes place in the same universe and uses the same gimmick of everything happening on a computer screen. It’s a divisive gimmick, and one not everybody will like as it can make it hard to focus, you have to pretty much pay attention to everything that happens. Before I saw this I was wondering whether it would be as good as the first one, unsure if that was even possible. I once did an at-home double bill of Knives Out and Searching, and just like Glass Onion easily matches Knives Out, this matches Searching.

The performances are all on-point. Storm Reid lives up to the brief flashes of potential she showed in The Invisible Man. She’s 19 years old and this is a lot of responsibility to place on the shoulders of a performer so young. She manages it. Every part of her performance showcases a young woman who is unsure of herself, full of regrets and worry, but full of determination. You can easily believe that she will do everything she can to figure out the mystery of her mother’s disappearance, but also that the decisions she makes will not always be the right ones as she’ll run headfirst into them without considering the consequences.

The supporting cast is great too, but obviously not given anywhere near as much to do. Ken Leung balances the tightrope between sinister and lovable which is necessary for his character to work. Joaquim de Almeida isn’t in it much but does what he needs to wonderfully.

Now onto the script. It’s brilliant. It has characters say enough things out loud so that you are sure of what’s going on, but leaves enough unsaid that you can be thinking of it 2 days later and have a sudden realisation of why something happened/somebody said a certain thing. The downside is that there wasn’t really a way for you to figure out the mystery yourself. I don’t think anybody can watch the first twenty minutes and figure it out. This means you miss out on the “ohhhhh, it’s so obvious now, how could I not have seen that? I am such a fool”. The reveal still works though and adds a lot of context to previous scenes and conversations. Some will require a rewatch but it does replay some of the conversations from the opening again, and I’m actually glad it does that. I’m normally not a fan of films repeating themselves, saying the same stuff again, or repetition. The lines they chose to replay are important though, and the context is SOOOO different when you hear them again. There’s another advantage too, and I can’t say with confidence that it was intentional but there’s every chance it could have been. The clips they replay are from the opening, and they’re shown again just after a character has had a huge revelation. So it’s almost like things are starting anew, the old story of this person is dead, and a new one awakens.

So in summary, go see this when you can, I saw it last week (thank you Cineworld previews), and can confidently say I’m going to watch it again.

A Man Called Otto (2022)

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Quick Synopsis: Tom Hanks plays Otto the grouchy man who gets new neighbours who predictably warm his heart (not over an open fire, that would be weird) in this English-language adaptation of the Swedish book “A Man Called Ove”

Some films aren’t for everybody, and that’s okay. They’re too niche, too dark, or just too damn weird for mass audiences to enjoy. This isn’t one of those films, this is the opposite, and this is aimed at almost everybody. It’s a simple story, slickly told, and with one or two swears, but nothing too unpleasant. It even stars the perennial “oh I like him, he is good isn’t he?” everyman Tom Hanks.
That’s probably my biggest issue. I like Tom Hanks, he is obviously very good (and I’m sure that he celebrated actor with multiple awards, appreciates being reassured by a reviewer who is, let’s face it, a nobody), and he is likeable; that’s the problem. Otto is supposed to be a cantankerous grouch, a man who is angry at the world and expresses it through snark. He’s supposed to be someone you genuinely don’t want to spend a minute near in case his abrasiveness washes off on you. It doesn’t work if he’s played by Tom Hanks, he’s just too charming an actor to pull off this character. You spend the entire time knowing he’ll eventually turn good, and you’re just waiting for it to happen. If he was played by someone who generally plays quite villainous or menacing roles then it might have worked better. James Gandolfini would have been perfect if he wasn’t dead (which usually harms career prospects for everybody who is not 2Pac).

The upside of casting Hanks is that more people are likely to see it, which is a good thing as this is something that deserves to be seen. It’s not going to be something you remember for years and years, but it is good enough that six or seven years down the line, you’ll be browsing ParaHulCockFlix and see it, and think “yeah, I remember liking that, let’s watch it”.

Quick note, that was supposed to be an amalgamation of Paramount+, Hulu, Peacock, and Netflix, the fact it nearly says “huge cock flicks” is a genuine accident, but one I’m not changing.

The other positive of casting Tom Hanks is it means his son can play the younger version of him. No, not crazy Colin, but Truman, who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. He’s a better actor than his experience would suggest, which is good as any flaws will bring up accusations of nepotism. He more than earns his place in this film, providing the character with youthful hope and warmth which means the turning point when he loses everything is all the more heartbreaking.

The rest of the cast is good too, the kids aren’t annoying, and Mariana Treviño provides her character with enough passion and life that she doesn’t seem pushy and annoying.

Everybody involved in this is obviously very good, and nobody is slacking. So why is this only “very good” and not amazing? There’s the aforementioned “Hanks is too nice” issue, but it does also occasionally come off a bit too “all young people are useless, old people are amazing and know everything”. It’s so boomer and “old man yells at cloud” that the fact the character’s reaction to someone being trans is “your father kicked you out because of that? Then he’s an idiot”, it is weirdly affirming that a character who is supposed to be mean and hate people, is still pro-trans rights. So if you’re anti-them, then you’re not only an idiot but also a special kind of hateful. He’s completely serious too, no “JK”.

My other issue is how the film opens, it shows him buying rope to make a noose at a hardware store. But he doesn’t attempt suicide until about 15 minutes later, with quite a few scenes and characters in between. If the failed suicide was earlier, then it would have flowed a bit better.

So in summary, you should see this, it’s very fun, and at times very sad. Also, it made me want to see the original adaptation (available on Mubi) plus read the book (available in bookstores, obviously)

M3gan (2022)

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Quick Synopsis: Remember the 2019 Child’s Play? It’s that. Only with a younger child, less snark, and more orphans.

I’ll get the obvious out of the way, you don’t need to have seen M1gan, or M2gan for this film to make sense, mainly because those films don’t exist on account of M1gan sounding less like a horror film, and more like a documentary about the motorway connecting London and Leeds. I would not have made them the first movies I see in 2023, that would be weird.

This was actually the first film I saw in cinemas this year, and I don’t regret that choice at all. It’s a fun watch. It’s not likely to end up among the best films seen this year, but it is likely to be among the ones I had the most fun watching. This is my type of horror film; funny, violent, and well-made. That’s not to say it’s disposable, I think the idea of a horror film coasting by just on the kills are long-gone, they need to justify themselves to still work. This does that, it’s made with a lot of care and really feels like a passion project.

Some people may find it a bit too reminiscent of the last Child’s Play film, but I actually enjoyed that so it’s not exactly a downside, after all, even if you eat chocolate ice cream on a Monday, you’re not going to say no to chocolate ice cream on a Tuesday. Sometimes it’s okay to do the expected. There’s not much about this that’s necessarily groundbreaking or new, it’s not reinventing the wheel. It knows you know what’s going to happen, but it’s done so skillfully that that actually works in the movie’s favour. A good example of this is a scene where a technician is attempting to fix M3gan. Everybody in the audience knows that she’s going to reboot and attack him. But the key is when is it going to happen? It’s like watching someone play Jenga, every block removed causing a sigh of relief when the tower doesn’t fall, and the longer it doesn’t fall the tenser it gets as you know it’s building to the inevitable conclusion. Only, Jenga doesn’t cause as much blood usually (I’m aware there are exceptions).

So that’s the film itself, now onto the pieces that make it up. This is only the second feature directed by Gerard Johnstone, and that’s baffling. It feels like the work of an experienced hand, the way he balances horror and humour is a good sign for his future prospects. If he sticks with M3gan, he could helm a killer franchise, which the genre surely needs as there doesn’t seem to have been many in the last few years.

Oh, to answer the question; Get Out. That’s where you know lead actress Allison Williams from. Or possibly HBO’s Girls. I was trying to figure out where I knew her from the whole time. She’s well-cast in this, her slightly detached closeness makes sense. There are a few scenes where you feel she could do more, but there’s never a scene where it feels like she needs to. Violet McGraw does a pretty damn good job as Cady (the young child that befriends M3gan). I wouldn’t be surprised if she grows into a great talent over the next few decades. She has a really difficult role in this actually, a child who has lost her parents and is searching for emotional reassurance without being able to say that out loud because she’s too young to fully understand that’s what she needs. The worry when she approaches the android is understandable, as is the joy when they start emotionally connecting.

Now, M3gan herself. Usually, a character like that is either CGI or puppetry/robotics. Here she’s played by Amie Donald, a child actress from New Zealand. Her physical commitment to the role is impressive, moving in a way that even the silhouette provides an uncanny valley experience. If she moved naturally the character would be laughable, it’s the strange stiffness that reminds you that the character isn’t human, and then she rips a kid’s ear off easily and that confirms it.

That scene is very disturbing by the way, and if it wasn’t for the strange dance M3gan does that’s gone viral, I feel the child murder would be the iconic scene. It’s a good murder, and the motives for it make sense. Not only was the child threatening Cady, but he also pretty much tried to rape M3gan. I mean, he removes some of her clothing, strikes her in the face, and straddles her. He had no idea she was a sentient robot, he just thought he was fucking a toy. That’s still not great, is it?

Sadly, like all movies of this ilk, there is the inevitable sequel hook. It’s not as egregious as they usually are though, so that’s a plus. There is a self-contained story here, so any sequels will be nice addendums, rather than necessities. Plus, I wouldn’t actually mind seeing a sequel, if it was done right. If it’s just another “oh no, killer toy robot” then I wouldn’t be too excited. But a sequel that examined the effect these murders had on the survivors, the town, and the toy company itself trying to handle a PR nightmare that can’t be ignored? I’m down for that.

2022 In Film: Day Ten (The Amazeballs)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Belle

Ups: A real sense of magic and wonder.

The music is beautiful.

Says a lot about online identity

Hits deeper than you think it will

Downs: The central relationship feels a bit too rushed at the start. It earns it later on, oh boy does it earn it. But the opening moments don’t work.

Best Moment: The moment where the virtual world ends up singing as one. It’s beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

Worst Moment: The first beast fight drags just a minute too long.

Opening: Explains the virtual world via an advert. Good, and very effective, but it does it all again later so a bit pointless. Personally, I would have started with the mother drowning. Although if they did that I would then complain that it doesn’t fit thematically, and they should have started talking about the technology. Really tricky. I suppose they could have just cut the later references.

Closing: Okay, I didn’t like the ending at first. I thought the musical moment was a great ending, then it went on and I was like “oh no”. But then we found out why the beast is the way he is, and it was shocking, and harrowing, and perfect. She went to his town to save him and stands up to his dad. I thought it would end there, it continued and I was disappointed. But then HER ending happened. Her friend tells her he no longer feels the need to protect her, as she can do it herself. She then finds the courage to sing with her friends (earlier in the film the prospect literally made her sick). That’s how it ends, with her being able to sing in public, and it’s beautiful.

Best Line: “I can finally sing again”. So much in that one line, and it’s perfectly delivered.

Original Review here

Bullet Train

Ups: Creative fight scenes, very Jackie Chan.

Funny. Like, laugh out loud funny. I nearly ran out of breath laughing so much

Contains more Thomas The Tank references than you’d expect from a 2022 film set in Japan.

Surprisingly faithful adaptation of the book, but with enough changes to still surprise you.

Well-written characters.

Downs: Bit too sweary at times.

Some people may be put off by how it spends entire sequences introducing people, only to kill them off.

Best Moment: The Wolf. His entire sequence is a masterclass in how to set up a character’s motivations, and it’s stylish as hell.

Worst Moment: One of the deaths feels a little unearned.

Best Performer: Andrew Koji. But really it could be any of the main cast. He gets the nod just because he has a bit more character work to do.

Opening: A child lies in a hospital bed, near-death. Kind of a weird way to start a goofy film like this, but it also sets the stakes up out of the gate, so that even in the most comedic moments, the tension is still there.

Closing: One of the characters thought to be dead turns out to have survived. In two minds about this as it is quite unrealistic and suspends disbelief quite a bit, on the other; it is funny, and this film isn’t exactly realistic in the first place.

Best Line: “eat a bag of dicks lady”. Mainly because it is perfectly timed in the middle of a fight scene.

Original Review here

Encanto

Ups: The sheer emotion.

Downs: The plot isn’t the best.

Best Moment: Surface Pressure, without a doubt.

Worst Moment: There’s a moment in the opening song (just before the “grandkids roundup”) that just feels out of place, seems a bit too much like a white guy in his 40s doing a rap about road safety.

Best Performer: Jessica Darrow, not that familiar with her but her vocal work is perfect in this.

Opening: The second line is “this is where our magic comes from”. They then explain its history of it. They jump right in and I appreciate it.

Closing: The house is fixed and everybody is happy. Very Disney but incredibly sweet.

Best Line: “I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service”

Original review here

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Ups: The way it mixes lowbrow comedy with highbrow philosophy.

Some of the most creative fights you’ll see.

Incredible visuals.

Actually, I’m just going to say it; almost everything about this film is incredible. So just, for positives: everything.

Downs: Might be a bit too weird for some.

There are some times where the subtitles ruin the joke. Like not explaining that the reason two characters have issues communicating is they’re speaking different dialects of the same language, which doesn’t come through in the subtitles.

Does take a while to kick off.

Best Moment: Two rocks with googly eyes speaking entirely through on-screen text, with no music. Yup, THAT’S what I’m going with. All the action scenes, and I’m going with the easiest thing in the world to shoot. How something so simple managed to bring a roomful of people to tears is a piece of wonder.

Worst Moment: Some of the multiverse scenes can be a bit confusing at times in terms of knowing what one you’re in.

Best Performer: Oh this is tough. If Michelle Yeoh isn’t nominated for an Oscar for this, it’s a genuine travesty (since this was written, she has been nominated, so that’s a plus). Ke Huy Quan, also impressive. But I think I might have to give it to Stephanie Hsu, purely because the extremes between the different versions of her are so prevalent, and she nails them all.

Opening: First off, I have to mention the multiverse versions of the opening logo, genius. The movie itself: the three main characters joyfully together. Then smash cut to Yeoh’s character stressing out over receipts. Delightfully understated, and good use of mirrors.

Closing: The family relationships are fixed, and Everlyn goes back to IRS office to refile her taxes. Understated way to end a film like this, but it works. Means that it has that thing which a lot of films lack: actual closure. It helps that Yeoh and Huy Quan have tremendous chemistry, so their sweet happiness at the end is infectious.

Best Line: “Of all the places I could be, I just want to be here with you.” Just remembering that line brings me to tears. God damn I fucking love this movie.

Original Review here

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Ups: Smart.

Terrific ensemble cast.

A lot of fun.

Possibly better than the first one.

Downs: The mystery isn’t as compelling as the last one.

Best Moment: The reveal.

Worst Moment: The throat spray, only because it reminds me of COVID.

Best Performer: Janelle Monae.

Opening: Standard “introducing all the characters montage”, linked by watching a governer being interviewed, and them receiving a parcel from Miles Baron, a tech billionaire strange person. Works well though, there are a few odd shots. But I’ll always appreciate great dialogue like “I had no idea that word was an ethnic slur, I thought it was a generic term for cheap” “Jewy?” “Yeah”. It’s interesting seeing the different people solve the box.

Closing: Once again, this nails the closing shot. This is more artful than the ending of the first one, not quite as satisfying, but much smarter.

Best Line: “it’s so dumb it’s genius” “no! It’s just dumb”

Original Review here

Nope

Ups: Will stay with you for a long time after you leave.

Utterly horrifying at times.

Downs: Not for mass audiences.

Best Moment: The reveal of what happened on set. It’s………it’s something else. Also the reveal of what Jupe is doing, you know it won’t end well.

Worst Moment: The death of the father could be slightly better. Very minor criticism.

Best Performer: Keke Palmer.

Opening: A quick look at the aftermath of Gordy’s attack. Automatically gets the audience asking questions, and disgusts them. And the reveal when you don’t find out is totally worth it.

Closing: OJ survives. That’s nice.

Best Line: Not really a line, but when Jupe is talking about the memories of Gordy, through an SNL sketch. It says soooo much about him, and the way pop culture treats tragedy.

Original Review here

The Batman

Ups: Really brings Gotham to life.

Almost perfect casting.

Leaves you wanting more, but also works as a standalone.

Downs: Repeats music at times.

Could cut a few minutes.

Best Moment: When Batman goes to save a group of people, they flinch away from him. Genius. It shows how his use of fear to keep order needs to be balanced with providing hope.

Worst Moment: The Joker tease.

Best Performer: Robert Pattinson. A lot of people were against his casting, and they’ve all been proven wrong.

Opening: Riddler being a creepy little stalker. Is like something from a horror movie and does a good job of making the “dark gritty” Nolan films seem like Saturday morning cartoons by comparison.

Closing: Batman rides a bike. One of the scenes which could have been reduced slightly. Especially since the scene before it would have made a better ending.

Best Line: “I’m vengeance”. When he delivered that line in the trailer, THAT’S when I knew Pattinson would be a great Batman.

Original Review here

The Menu

Ups: Darkly hilarious.

Spot-on satire.

Good performances.

The more you think about it, the better it gets.

Downs: Shows its hand earlier than you may like.

Repeats its themes

Best Moment: Tyler’s Bullshit. Comes just after finding out how much of a dick Tyler is, so it’s incredibly satisfying to watch him humiliated like that.

Worst Moment: Man’s Folly. Only because the hunt aspect could have gone on longer, or serve a narrative purpose.

Best Performer: Ralph Fiennes. He’d make a great serial killer.

Opening: Margot smokes, Tyler yells at her, saying she’ll ruin her palette. Sets her up as a quickfire nonchalant person, and sets him up as a kind of insufferable foodie.

Closing: Margot eats a cheeseburger. Have to say, it is one damn fine-looking burger.

Best Line: “you’ve taken the joy out of eating. Every dish you served tonight has been some intellectual exercise rather than something you want to sit and enjoy. When I eat your food, it tastes like it was made with no love(…)I thought tonight was a night of hard home truths. This is one of them. You cook with obsession, not love. Even your hot dishes are cold. You’re a chef. Your single purpose on this Earth is to serve people food that they might actually like, and you have failed. You’ve failed. And you’ve bored me. And the worst part is I’m still fucking hungry.”

Original Review here

2022 In Film: Day Nine (The Almost Amazing)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

These are films which are incredible, they’re just not among the best I’ve ever seen. There’s some great stuff in this section, most years, these would be among the best, but 2022 was actually an INCREDIBLE year for cinema, as will be proven in the next entry.

Bodies Bodies Bodies

Ups: Very funny.

Some great deaths.

So damn clever at the end.

Downs: You might get frustrated before it gets to the end.

Characters are a bit unsympathetic.

Pete Davidson could tone it down a bit.

Best Moment: The ending, easily.

Worst Moment: The sub-plot about the texts. Could have been done better.

Best Performer: Maria Bakalova

Opening: Bee and Sophie are travelling to a hurricane party. The fact they’re travelling to a hurricane party says everything you need to know about those characters. Perfect.

Closing: I don’t want to spoil it, but trust me, it’s good. It changes the entire film and is everything an ending should be.

Best Line: “I’m not escalating you’re holding the knife and you’re moving your hands while you talk.”

Original Review here

Boiling Point

Ups: The fact it was made. A technical masterpiece.

Downs: It’s supposed to be a very busy night, but never really feels like it. Feels very low-stakes.

Best Moment: Chef Carly bringing one of the front of house staff to tears just through words alone. It’s a long-ass speech and it’s delivered perfectly.

Worst Moment: The ending. Seems a bit too reminiscent of the original ending of Clerks, like they didn’t know how to end it.

Best Performer: Graham. Easily.

Opening: The main character walking to work whilst on the phone, and then meets an environmental health officer. Does a great job of setting up him and the situation. Then the health officer starts criticising people, “I know that’s regulation temperature, but ideally I want it lower”, so he essentially marks them down for following the rules. Sets up the conflict.

Closing: He cries on the phone to his estranged wife, getting her to tell their son that he loves him. He then promises to get into rehab. He then keels over, possibly dying as we fade to black. That’s…….brutal.

Best Line: The aforementioned speech. It’s cutting, and perfect. Can’t type the whole thing here.

Original Review here

Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers

Ups: Very funny

Very meta

The animation differences actually work.

Lots of cameos.

REALLY dark.

Downs: A bit predictable

Some of the characters from the original series are sidelined.

If you’re a child, are you going to understand all the references and cameos?

Best Moment: When one of the characters uses a Rescue Rangers episode to indicate they’re in trouble. The code is not picked up, but another one with the same message is. Very funny.

Worst Moment: The cheesemonger moment feels a bit of a waste of the performers talent.

Best Performer: Samberg. His child-like enthusiasm is perfect for this.

Opening: Voiceover, showing how the two met. Cliche, but works, also adds some great jokes in there “you’re not Donald Duck, you have to wear pants”

Closing: They decide to release a reboot of the Rescue Rangers TV show. Works. Suits the style of the film.

Best Line: “What’s the first thing that pops into your head when I say Chip N Dale? I’m willing to bet it’s Thomas Chippendale, the london cabinet maker. I bet the second thing is these guys *shows the chippendale dancers*“

Original Review here

Confess, Fletch

Ups: So damn funny.

A compelling mystery.

Great ensemble cast.

Downs: Other mysteries have been better.

Terribly marketed.

Could be smarter.

Best Moment: The scene with the neighbour, chaotic comedy.

Worst Moment: Some of the police scenes undermine their characters a little bit.

Best Performer: Ayden Mayeri. Tempted to go with Hamm, but he has enough recognition, Mayeri doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. So just mentioning her now so that when she inevitably becomes a huge sitcom star, I can point out I was a fan of her first.

Opening: The lead is sent by his girlfriend to recover stolen paintings. Might have set up the character more if we caught him at the end of a previous job so we get more of an indication of how good he is. But I respect how quickly it leaps into the main story.

Closing: The redistribution of the stolen paintings. In a lot of films, I would criticise this as being too “look, this character is likeable”, but in this, it kind of makes sense with the way the character is written.

Best Line: “We obtained surveillance footage from a store around the corner.”

“Where the fudge is made?”

Original Review here

Fall

Ups: Effective, to the point it almost made me nauseous watching it.

Likeable characters.

Simple story, done in the best possible way.

Downs: “so it’s just them on a small platform?” If you can’t get past that, you’re not going to like this.

Visuals in the opening are a bit weak.

Might not be able to stomach it more than once.

Best Moment: When the ladder breaks. You know it’s not real, and you know the characters won’t die that early. But you can’t get past the “holy shit, that should not happen” part of your brain. Plus, when it happened in the screening I was at, a guy immediately shook his head, stood up, and loudly exclaimed “nope, fuck that”

Worst Moment: The ending.

Best Performer: Grace Caroline Currey. The film is anchored around her performance, if she fails, she drags the film down and it sinks. Kind of regret saying “anchored” now, feels like it clashes with the metaphor.

Opening: Becky, Hunter, and Dan (Becky’s husband) climb a mountain. Dan makes a quick dismount, by which I mean he falls and dies. The weakest visuals in the whole thing, the backgrounds look incredibly fake.

Closing: Obvious ending. But it happens way too quickly and feels like they cut a 5 minute scene out filling in some things.

Best Line: “If you’re scared of dying, don’t be afraid to live”

Original Review here

Orphan: First Kill

Ups: Actually adds to the mythos.

Great use of practical effects.

Incredible plot that rewards rewatching

Downs: A bit too many “this is a reference to the original” moments.

Best Moment: The reveal. Trust me, it’s glorious.

Worst Moment: “Esther” finding a missing child who looks like her, is like a needle in a haystack. May have worked better if she saw news about the missing child, then decided to make most of the opportunity.

Best Performer: Julia Stiles.

Opening: Leena/Esther escapes an institution by seducing and killing a guard. It’s weird the guy was sexually aroused by someone with a disease that makes them look like a child, right? Very slasher movie, and works well.

Closing: The original film starts. Good to see.

Best Line: What was I supposed to do… put my surviving child in prison over some sibling rivalry shit?

Original Review here

Scream

Ups: Very clever.

Tackles the darker side of fandom.

Good kills.

Has the best use of Red Right Hand in the franchise so far.

Likeable characters

Downs: Wastes some good potential killers.

The twist could have been foreshadowed slightly better.

Best Moment: Dewey’s death. Truly shocking.

Worst Moment: The hallucinations of Billy are an acquired taste that doesn’t fully work.

Best Performer: David Arquette.

Opening: It’s a Scream movie, you know how it’s going to start: ghostface stabs someone. Major difference in this is they survive. It’s a good way of saying “yes we know the conventions, but we’re going to swerve away from them”

Closing: Gale decides to not write about the killers, leaving them anonymous. Good ending, but might have worked out better for the fourth.

Best Line: “See, you can’t just reboot a franchise from scratch anymore. The fans won’t stand for it. Black Christmas, Child’s Play, Flatliners, that shit doesn’t work. But you can’t just do a straight sequel, either. You need to build something new. But not too new or the Internet goes bug-fucking-nuts. It has to be part of an ongoing storyline, even if that story should never have been going on in the first place. New main characters, yes, but supported by, and related to, legacy characters. Not quite a reboot, not quite a sequel, like the new Halloween, Saw, Terminator, Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters, fuck, even Star Wars. It always, always goes back to the original!”

Original Review here

See How They Run

Ups: Compelling mystery

Saoirse Ronan is a ball of energy.

I like that I know there are many Agatha Christie references I missed out on.

A classic throwback to a genre.

Once you realise where the ending is going you’ll laugh your ass off.

Downs: Loses momentum going into the third act.

Some wasted time.

One of the misdirect attempts really doesn’t work.

Best Moment: The murder reveal is executed (pardon the pun) perfectly.

Worst Moment: The dream sequence.

Best Performer: Saoirse Ronan

Opening: Pan down from the theatre down to the eventual murder victim as he monologues.

Closing: Two characters sit down to watch The Mousetrap. Weirdly nice and quaint. Plus it allows the film to end in a thematically suitable way.

Best Line: “What’s next? A caption that says Three Weeks Later” *caption saying Three Weeks Later appears on screen*

Original Review here

The Banshees Of Inisherin

Ups: Darkly hilarious.

A lot of beauty in the shots.

Tremendous attention to detail for the sets and costumes.

Incredible performances.

Downs: Relentlessly bleak, which stops the emotional moments from hitting quite as hard as they should.

Repeats narrative beats.

Best Moment: When Colm actually cuts his fingers off, brutal.

Worst Moment: Dominic dying, only because it’s handled very quickly.

Best Performer: Colin Farrell. Could easily be Gleeson though.

Opening: Pádraic goes to see his friend Colm, who ignores him. That’s it. That’s also the opening 30 minutes or so. It works though.

Closing: The former friends aren’t so much at loggerheads anymore, but definitely won’t can’t be friends again. It’s good as it shows you although this is the end of the film, it’s not the end of the story.

Best Line: “Look at this I found. A stick with a hook. What would you use it for, I wonder. To hook things that are the length of a stick away”

Original Review here

Turning Red

Ups: Likeable characters.

Has something to say, you can tell this is a writers dream project and is deeply personal to them.

Downs: The animation isn’t as good as Pixar usually is.

The characters are slightly obnoxious at times, but then again, they are teenagers so….

Best Moment:

Worst Moment: The furore about “sexualising children” that surrounded the release of this.

Best Performer: Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, brilliantly deadpan.

Opening: Mei doing the usual “so this is me” opening. Instantly sets out who she is, and her relationship with her family. She’s incredibly likeable and her personality shines through.

Closing: The family relationship is fixed, and the red panda is now a tourist attraction at the temple. Kind of obvious was going to end that way, but allows some sweet moments.

Best Line: Honoring Your Parents Sounds Great, But If You Take It Too Far, Well, You Might Forget To Honor Yourself.

Original Review here

2022 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Belfast

Ups: Does a great job of putting you in the shoes of someone living in that time.

Incredibly personal.

Great performances.

Very funny at times.

Downs: Unless you have knowledge of history, specifically the “why”, you could be lost in regards to character motivation.

Has Van Morrison on the soundtrack. I knew it would be busy so did a COVID test before going to the cinema to see this, and for the next few days after. All that for a film with a fucking anti-vaxxer on the soundtrack

Some people might not like that it’s mostly in black and white. (although I love the moments when it’s not)

Best Moment: His mum dragging him back to a shop in the middle of a riot to make him return something he looted.

Best Performer: Jude Hill. But I did like Lara McDonnell too.

Opening: Sets the scene perfectly. The overhead shots of the are wouldn’t be missed if they weren’t there. Although the transition between colour and black and white, present and past, is visually glorious and I love it.

Closing: “for the ones who stayed, for the ones who left, and for all the ones who were lost.” over a colour scene of the area. Beautiful, poignant, powerful.

Best line: The Irish were born for leavin’, otherwise the rest of the world’d have no pubs

Original Review here

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Ups: Handles a delicate situation perfectly.

Very emotional.

Some great performances.

Sets up the future well.

Downs: Too many moments which don’t go anywhere.

Waste of potential moments.

Best Moment: The attack on the ship. Was like something from a horror movie.

Worst Moment: The final fight. Only because it involves people wearing blue, fighting blue people, against a sky blue background.

Best Performer: Angela Basset. Easily.

Opening: T’Challa dies. Really it’s the only way they could have opened it, they had to address it, so it’s brave they did it immediately.

Closing: T’Challa had a son. Bit of a predictable ending, lets it down.

Best Line: Ramonda’s whole speech in the UN.

Original Review here

Clerks 3

Ups: When it hits hard, it hits VERY hard.

Funny.

Nice to see these characters again.

Downs: It’s strange to say but this is trying to hard to be a comedy. It’s so scared to be serious.

Takes a bit too long to get to the actual story

Best Moment: Dante’s rage. It’s the only scene with no laughs and it’s the best part by a long way.

Feels like these characters only exist in the movies, they don’t exist when the cameras not on them.

Worst Moment: Kevin Smith narrating over the credits, explaining what happened to the characters afterwards. Feels incredibly lazy and last minute.

Best Performer: Jeff Anderson. O’Halloran is close, but Anderson takes it.

Opening: Starts with Welcome To The Black Parade, always a good start. Feels weirdly out of tone with the visuals though. The visuals are low-fi, and Black Parade isn’t exactly low-fi. Kind of weird , feels like it’s just playing over and they’re completely separate.

Closing: One of the characters dies. Heartbreaking, I wish the film was more of this and less “typical Smith”

Best Line: “i wish I had a life worth fucking saving”

Original Review here

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness

Ups: Scarlet Witch is a truly sociopathic villain

The closest the MCU has got to a horror movie.

Damn fine special effects.

A decent third act.

Some incredibly inventive action set pieces.

Downs: Offscreen inertia is definitely in effect. There are times where it feels like the characters must be just standing around twiddling their thumbs when the camera is not on them

Should be a 15.

If Scarlet Witch is redeemed it will be a complete waste of her potential.

Best Moment: The Illuminati scene.

Worst Moment: The final scene. Easily.

Best Performer: Xochitl Gomez.

Opening: America Chavez and an alternate version of Strange being chased by a demon, then Strange tries to save the universe by killing Chavez. Good choice of opening, introduces America, shows off the visuals, sets up the multiverse, and shows that stakes are high.

Closing: Strange is walking down the street and is suddenly in pain, developing a third eye. Awful closing. Just leaves a “wait, what?” feeling.

Best Line: “What mouth?”

Original Review here

Lightyear

Ups: Emotional.

Deals with very heavy subjects in a way that’s easily understandable.

Fun.

Good characters.

Downs: Doesn’t feel 90’s enough.

Still not entirely sure why it exists.

Best Moment: The montage of failure.

Worst Moment: The twist about the villain. Doesn’t feel earned.

Best Performer: Taika Waititi. A lot of fun.

Opening: “In 1995, a boy named Andy got a Buzz Lightyear toy for his birthday. It was from his favourite movie. This is that movie”. Setting up the general concept very quickly.

Closing: You know how this ends, from the second this film starts, you know how it ends, come on now.

Best Line: “That was utterly terrifying and I regret having joined you.” That’s also what I say after any social activity

Original Review here

Olga

Ups: The gymnastics themselves are astounding.

Beautiful shots.

Made astounding by current circumstances.

Downs: Made depressing by those same circumstances.

Some side characters feel inconsequential

Best Moment: When Olga has to give up her Ukrainian passport and get a Swiss one. It does a tremendous job of selling her guilt at giving up her national identity.

Worst Moment: One or two of the scenes halt the momentum.

Best Performer: Anastasia Budiashkina. Easily.

Original Review here

On The Count Of Three

Ups: Directed very well, especially for a first-time director.

Incredibly funny but also not.

Good performances.

Downs: The ending third felt like it didn’t belong in the same universe.

Best Moment: Character has a meeting with his boss, then calmly walks into a toilet cubicle and attempts to hang himself. No music. All takes place in real time. Meanwhile a guy walks in and pees in a urinal while singing cheerfully, not knowing about the potential unaliving happening in the same room. It’s bleak and horrifying, plus weirdly funny.

Worst Moment: The very last scene. Dialogue-free, only for a few seconds. But I felt it kind of detracted away from the story. I get why it was done, but could have been a better way of doing it.

Best Performer: Christopher Abbott.

Opening: The two characters pointing guns at each other, ready to fire in a suicide pact, gunfire, cut to black. Great opening, gets you immediately invested, and in that short moment you get their love for each other. You get personality, you get motives, you get relationship with each other. Crams so much.

Closing: A suicide. It’s obvious. It’s one of those films where it all feels inevitable. It’s beautifully written. The other guy is in prison. That coda wasn’t really necessary it felt like. Would have been a stronger ending if it did just cut to black with the gunshot.

Best Line: “Do you know that I have been going to doctors since I was 8 years old in foster care. And most of them had private practices by the way they weren’t this state-employed bullshit. And if any of you guys knew how to help me by now you would have fucking done it. Why the fuck are you guys so obsessed with keeping everyone alive anyway? You think all life is precious? All life? If you lived in my head for one minute you realise it fucking isn’t”. The sheer outpouring of emotion and helplessness.

Original Review here

The Black Phone

Ups: Very creepy at times.

Original concept.

Downs: The Grabber isn’t built up enough by the town. You never get the feeling this is a town in fear.

Serious issues with pacing.

Best Moment: The final fight. Very narratively satisfying to see all the knowledge come together.

Worst Moment: The brother of The Grabber realising the truth. His actions don’t really ring true.

Best Performer: Ethan Hawke.

Opening: Standard “meet doomed character” horror opening. Quite weak, especially compared to how creepy the opening credits are.

Closing: Finn sits next to his crush and says hi. Only works because of the age of the characters, if they were older that would be a slightly pathetic closing. As it is, kind of sweet.

Best Line: “Yeah I took him down cause obviously I’m the grabber you dumb f’ing fartknockers” Great line delivery

Original Review here

The Justice Of Bunny King

Ups: When characters do stupid things, they usually make sense because of how well they’re written.

Heartbreakingly true.

Downs: Overwrriten towards the end.

Best Moment: Being shown around the house.

Worst Moment: Her holding someone hostage feels a bit out of tone at the time.

Best Performer: Essie Davis

Opening: Characters washing cars in the rain to the tune of what I always assume is an Alanis Morrisette song. She then goes and helps someone who is having trouble with social services. Says a lot about her character and situation. Very quickly establishes her.

Closing: A phone call with her kids. She knew she’s screwed up, and she knows she’s made it a lot worse. The kids don’t seem phased though. Which makes it worse. They’re too young. Their innocence comes off as apathy and you can tell she’s doomed. Then the police shoot her. It’s really the only way it could end. It’s emotionally devastating but narratively satisfying. It also says a lot about her character that when she’s being loaded into the back of the ambulance she points out the windows are disgusting

Best Line: “why are you talking to her like that?” After a social worker speaks to the character’s disabled child like she’s an idiot.

Original Review here

The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent

Ups: The most Nicholas Cage move that exists.

Cage and Pascal have great comedic chemistry.

It’s weird.

Downs: Pedro Pascal is too big a name to not play himself.

JCVD is much better.

Best Moment: The wall scene. Yes it was in the trailer, but it’s so silly.

Worst Moment: The two Cage’s bit could go weirder. Weirder than them kissing each other.

Best Performer: Pedro Pascal. He should do more comedy. Okay, he did also do The Bubble this year, but is it really a comedy if nobody finds it funny?

Opening: Someone gets kidnapped, coincidentally whilst watching a Nicholas Cage film. There was room to be more creative here but they didn’t take it. I’m glad they didn’t do the “fight scene opening, but turns out to be a scene in a movie”

Closing: A film based on the events on this film has been released. Cute.

Best Line: The line of coke Nicholas Cage presumably done before shooting this.

Original Review here

Thor: Love And Thunder

Ups: Works as a standalone.

Rescues Jane Foster as a character.

Love is a great character

A lot of very good scenes, and some real creative visuals.

Downs: Tonal issues.

Occasionally goes a bit too silly.

Feels like a lot of wasted potential of some stories.

Best Moment: The montage of Thor and Foster falling out of love. Works as a mini-film on its own.

Worst Moment: Everything with the goats.

Best Performer: India Hemsworth. Not in it much, but owns every scene she’s in.

Opening: Thor is fighting with the Guardians, and ruining everything. Funny, but does make the rest of the Guardians feel a bit weak. Plus, do they just not care about looking for Gamora now?

Closing: Foster dies, Love lives with Thor. Bit weird, he hasn’t expressed much desire to be a father before. Sweet though. But I still can’t shake how out of nowhere it feels.

Best Line: “Once we bring the children back, we shall feast! Not on them. We don’t do that any more. That is a dark part of our history”

Original Review here

Three Thousand Years Of Longing

Ups: Phenomenal visuals.

Interesting stories.

Downs: Really loses steam in the third act.

The romance feels rushed.

Sub plots aren’t picked up on.

Best Moment: That trailer. That got you hyped up for it like a good trailer should.

Worst Moment: When you realise it’s a box office bomb.

Best Performer: Idris Elba

Opening: Alithea goes to Istanbul and suffers hallucinations. The hallucinations are kind of a weak point for the film. But it does have some interesting visuals.

Closing: The Djinn visit Alithea and says he’ll check in every few years. Kind of sweet, but they never really felt like a couple so it’s a bit weird he has this connection with her.

Best Line: Love is a gift. It’s a gift of oneself given freely. It’s not something one can ever ask for.

Original Review here

Umma

Ups: A great opening credits sequence.

Shows that the director is meant for great things.

A haunting look at family trauma

Everyone feels like real people.

Downs: Some jump scares are a little corny.

Best Moment: Really clever scare involving a face under a sheet. Really creative.

Worst Moment: There’s a moment where the main characters mother attacks from the grave, using clothes. It looks a bit hokey and silly.

Best Performer: Sandra Oh

Opening: The sound of knocking and someone asking their mother to open a door. The daughter apologising, the mother rejects her apologies and we hear electric noises and screaming. Good start, suitably creepy.

Closing: The daughter goes off to college, showing she’s being allowed an independent life. Yes, it’s cliche, but really it’s the only way this narrative could end.

Best Line: Look, I know you think people think you’re weird, and I’m not gonna lie, you are. But, no, you think being weird is a bad thing, you think you’re the only one. But you know what? You’re not. There are tons of other weirdos out there, cool interesting people like you. You just have to out into the world and find them.

Original Review here

Violent Night

Ups: Very bloody.

Clever allusions to Home Alone

Deeply cynical whilst also heartwarming.

Downs: A bit longer than it needs to be.

Could go deeper with the satire.

Best Moment: The reveal of Santa’s past.

Worst Moment: The villain’s motive is a little meh.

Best Performer: Leah Brady is incredibly adorable and likeable. I’d also like to point out Mitra Suri, but that’s for different reasons.

Opening: Santa is drunk. Seen this kind of thing before, but the fact it’s actually Santa does mean we can get a scene of him drunkenly vomiting from up high.

Closing: The reindeers come back, with gifts. Little bit plot convenient that they happened to miss the whole thing.

Best Line: Now, I know you’re an idiot, but don’t be an idiot out loud.

Original Review here

We’re All Going To The Worlds Fair

Ups: Some great make-up. Best demonstrated when someone puts his fingers under loose skin in his arm and starts pulling out tickets. Incredibly creepy and weird and disgusting.

Reminds me of Gone Home, and I’ll always appreciate thinking of that game.

The scene where she paints her face and tears her stuffed toy apart is weirdly creepy.

Weirdly hypnotic.

Both the lead performer, and the writer/director, are clearly meant for bigger things.

Downs: Definitely too slow and weird for a lot of people.

Needs a clearer narrative.

Best Moment: The message she gets with the image of her face distorted. It’s so simple but it’s expertly done.

Worst Moment: The ending where it changes focus. Bit of a narrative miss-step.

Best Performer: Anna Cobb

Opening: Casey sitting in her room on her own, eating (I think) cheesestrings before introducing herself and saying she’s going to take the “Worlds Fair Challenge”. Good use of silence as it makes you lean in and pay attention. But it goes on a bit too long. Especially since she stops, changes the lights, and then starts recording again and continues talking to the camera. Which consists of her saying “I want to go to the worlds fair” into the camera, smearing blood on the computer, then sitting in strobe lights. The opening credits, much more effective, just a series of shots of the local area in ruin. Not “apocalpyse” ruins, economic ruins. Shops are closed down and boarded up. This plays alongside a great piece of music which may well be one of the best original compositions of the year in terms of made movie soundtracks (although the one for Olga was close)

Closing: She has (possibly) met up with JLB. There’s a strange ambiguity to it that could leave an audience frustrated. It’s all done from JLB’s perspective. It reminds me of the opening, in a bad way. That sense of “nothing is happening”.

Best Line: I swear, someday soon, I am just gonna disappear, and you won’t have any idea what happened to me.

Original Review here

2022 In Film: Day Seven (The Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Black Adam

Ups: One of the stronger DC films of last few years.

Genuinely surprising twist.

Is nice to see a big budget super hero film without a white protaganist.

Has genuine emotion.

Downs: Underwritten villain.

Generic plot

Needs to be more violent.

Doesn’t explain some characters well enough.

Best Moment: The reveal. Has actual emotion and explains so much of what happened before.

Worst Moment: The final battle is a bit underwhelming.

Best Performer: Noah Centino. He has to be good otherwise the character would seem like a Deadpool/Ant-Man rip-off.

Opening: Flashback to 2600BC. Not a terrible way to start the film, slightly too over-stylized, but gets the job done. It does explain it all much quicker than similar films, so props for that.

Closing: Going to go with the post-credits scene here. Superman turns up, in Henry Cavill’s last performance in the role. I don’t think anything will happen with that now so seems a bit of a waste.

Best Line: “Tell them the man in black sent you.”, just before Black Adam rips someone in half. Needed more of that.

Original Review here

Catch The Fair One

Ups: Script is very good at realising the darkness in humanity.

Says a lot about how kidnapping is treated by people, especially when it happens to non-white people.

Downs: You might find it a bit too bleak, to be expected given the subject matter.

Best Moment: The kidnapping. Only because it’s so naturally done. There’s no dramatic music leading up to it. It’s unexpected and shocking. There’s a lot of choices in this though; the missing persons group was also up there for being chosen

Worst Moment: Going to be a bit weird, but I’m chosing an argument between the main character and her mother. It’s REALLY good, but it’s not followed up on. If they followed it up, this would be a difficult section because there are no weak scenes. But with a scene THAT good being worthless, feels like a waste.

Best Performer: Kali Reis

Opening: Training for a boxing match. The sparring session is done as a 30-second one-take that highlights how physically impressive a performer she is. That’s to be expected though, as she is a boxer. It has a weirdly haunting score too. So far, so good, but standard. Then she wakes up and you notice there’s blood on the bed. Something so simple yet added so much.

Closing: Dream sequence. I get why, it’s the only way the film could get a narrative sense of closure, and it is realistic that these stories don’t have happy endings, but fucking hell. Also a wasted opportunity, providing websites and information in the closing credits could have been useful.

Best Line: “Fuck this I’m sorry”. I know, on its own it’s not great. But as a response to “if you’re daughter was still here, what would you say to her?”. That sentence, said by a quite muscly MAN, who then storms out. Says so much about fatherhood, masculinity, and grief.

Original Review here

Death On The Nile

Ups: A fun well-crafted murder mystery that wrongfoots you constantly and makes you feel like an idiot for not getting it.

Downs: Some of the CGI is a bit weak.

Gal Gadot has terrible line delivery at times.

Arnie Hammer

Best Moment: The reveal. A story like this lives and dies by the ending. This gets it right and delivers it with great tension.

Worst Moment: The moment where one of the bodies is found could be done a little better.

Best Performer: Kenneth Branagh, obviously.

Opening: Poirot at war. Showing how he used his deductive skills to help his squadron advance. Mainly there to show his human side, and explain his moustache. But it hints at something I now want: Poirot before he was a detective, using his skills in other situations.

Closing: Poirot sitting at a jazz club, sans moustache (as in, without moustache, that’s not the name of the club). Provides a bit of breathing space at the end, but otherwise is just a bit meh.

Best Line: “oh he accuses everyone of murder” “it’s a problem, I admit”

Original Review here

Emily

Ups: Ambitiously directed by Frances O Connor (she has a great future if she gets the right films).

Beautifully shot.

Brings a long-past time to life in an effective way.

Downs: The romance doesn’t quite work.

Quite dull for some of the opening.

The visual language is unclear for parts of it.

Best Moment: When the brother turns up. Mainly because the way Emily reacts to him makes her seem better as a person.

Worst Moment: The drunken conversation. Mainly because it’s weirdly edited.

Best Performer: Emma Mackay.

Opening: Emily is on her death bed and is asked what made her want to write. Yes, it’s a “how we got here” framing device. *sigh*

Closing: She dies. As you can tell from the opening. Would have been nice to have more information about her during the credits.

Best Line: Everyone’s strange if you look at them for long enough.

Original Review here

Midnight

Ups: The relationship between the two women is delightful. They have great physical chemistry that helps sell the family relationship between them.

Great shots.

Very funny at times.

Downs: A few shots could be a bit clearer.

Best Moment: A quick moment of Kim Kyung-mi in her job, dealing with an angry swearing (via sign language) woman. In response she simply raises her middle finger. Brilliant comedic timing and she does it so well. Weird to pick a comedic moment in a film like this I know.

Worst Moment: The opening murder could look a bit better. It’s fine going back to watch it, but on original watch it can be a bit difficult to place everybody.

Best Performer: Jin Ki-Joo

Opening: A woman misses a taxi and decides to walk home, but she gets murdered on the way. Tense way to open it, and the lighting is superb. Also sets up the killer as a manipulative bastard. It then goes into Kim Kyung-mi doing customer support via sign language, which is a weirdly comedic scene.

Closing: Characters sitting on a beach. It’s a nice coda to an earlier conversation. It’s not necessary, but it’s a really nice closer and means you end the film with a little bit of hope.

Best Line: Going to include a non-verbal one, the middle finger.

Original review here

Mr. Malcolm’s List

Ups: It’s nice to see a new period piece.

Well developed characters.

Funny.

Much smarter than similar films.

Emma Holly Jones could be a director to keep an eye on in the next few years. Great potential

Charming.

Downs: Not really very original.

Forgettable.

Best Moment: When the titular Mr. Malcolm is forced to defend his list. He makes a great point that he shouldn’t be criticised for daring to actually want to enjoy the company of the person expected to be his wife.

Worst Moment: Ending is a little cliche.

Best Performer: Freida Pinto, but Sope Dirisu is up there.

Opening: Julia goes on a date to the opera. It’s awkward as hell. Good way to start the film, and really wrongfoots you with Mr. Malcom’s personality.

Closing: They end up together. Obviously.

Best Line: “Love cannot be planned so carefully, my dear. It will stir things up a bit. That is part of its charm”

Original Review here

Nightmare Alley

Ups: It looks fantastic.

Tremendous performances.

Compelling story.

Downs: Music could be better.

Slightly misleading marketing.

Best Moment: Clem explains how he lures the geeks in. Lets you know how horrific the world really is, and it pays off beautifully.

Worst Moment: The murder/suicide doesn’t hit quite as it needs to.

Best Performer: Bradley Cooper. Normally not too impressed with him, but he’s great in this.

Opening: The lead burns a house down after putting a body under the floorboards. Great opening as it means you are instantly asking questions that you want answers to. You’re drawn in and want to watch.

Closing: He gets offered a job as a geek. “just a temporary job, as a fake one”. After his conversation earlier he knows what’s happening, and all he can do is accept it.

Best Line: “Find out what they’re afraid of and sell it back to them.”

Original Review here

Spirited

Ups: Fun.

Goes by quickly.

Downs: Ryan Reynolds character doesn’t seem evil enough.

A lot of the songs aren’t memorable enough.

Best Moment: The Good Afternoon song

Worst Moment: A child commits suicide. Don’t get me wrong, I think that was a narrative masterstroke, but it will annoy some people.

Best Performer: Ryan Reynolds

Opening: A woman apologising to the ghost of Christmas yet to come for her misdeeds. Already shows it’s interesting and new. Personally, I would have held off the reveal a few minutes more, if it was played straight for a few minutes then the reveal would have had a bigger impact. Props for being able to put that much sentimentality into a 5-minute sequence though.

Closing: The spirits now work other holidays too. Scrooge is back alive and married with kids.

Best Line: “He’s like the perfect combination of Mussolini and Seacrest.”

Original review here

The Lost City

Ups: Funny.

Well-crafted action scenes.

Radcliffe is having a blast.

Flies by much quicker than you’d expect.

Downs: Incredibly predictable.

Never gets better than “entertaining”

Best Moment: Someone getting shot in the head. Funny, and one of the few surprises in the script.

Worst Moment: “the real treasure was love”.

Best Performer: Channing Tatum.

Opening: Imaginary scene set in a book. Very fun, and sets the tone. Also makes good jokes about the fantasy romance action genre as a whole.

Closing: The two are together. Shockingly predictable.

Best Line: “I’m a woman; I can’t mansplain anything.” ” Uh, I’m a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do.”

Original Review here

White Building

Ups: There are some beautiful looking shots.

The tonal shift is well-earned.

Downs: One of the characters just leaves the film halfway through.

Quite dull at times.

Could do a better job of telling the audience the importance of the building.

Best Moment: The three friends trying to chat up three girls on an adjacent vehicle. Despite the fact it’s all taking place on two scooters it’s strangely normal. It’s just a group of guys trying (and failing) to impress a group. But it’s so genuine, the girls reactions are so cruel, and the guys are so desperate.

Worst Moment: A diseased foot. I was eating dinner at the time I was watching it, gross.

Best Performer: Chinnaro Soem. He’s not technically the best actor in the movie, he’s only really in the first half, but his undeniable charisma and the way he carries himself, he has undeniable star quality.

Opening: Aerial shots of buildings. It looks weirdly beautiful in a horrible way. The buildings are in a state of obvious need of repair, like the before in a stage of House Flipper (great game btw). Sets up the living standards well. It’s so quiet and weirdly peaceful too. Then we get two friends talking. Weird choice as the story is about three friends, but the fact we’re introduced to two of them,

Closing: The building is being knocked down. Seems to be genuine footage from the time. No music, done almost silently. The manner in which it’s shot, and the eerie stillness to the whole thing, bring to mind an execution. We then see the lead just sitting outside in the evening, soaking in the silence. Personally, I’d have stopped on the demolition, but I can see why they would go with the personal ending.

Best Line: “one day they turned up with trucks and guns, so those people didn’t get a penny for their house”. Explains so much. Not just about why people would accept selling their house to the government when they’re clearly not getting enough money for them. But also why people are acting the way they do, the government just doing that and everybody skipping over it says a lot about the town, and the fear they must have that something so horrific can be discussed so casually.

Original Review here

You Are Not My Mother

Ups: Kate Dolan is a hell of a director.

Shot like a drama, which makes the horror seem more realistic.

Gripping.

Downs: Writes itself into a corner where it opens doors it can’t close without disrupting the narrative.

Could be a bit slow for some people.

Best Moment: The dance scene. It’s got a really weird energy. It’s elegant and beautiful, but in a very aggressive way. And then an ankle breaks

Worst Moment: Some of the school scenes don’t work.

Best Performer: Carolyn Bracken. Almost entirely for the dance scene.

Opening: A baby in a pram in the middle of street in darkness. Such a simple but effective way to open the film. The baby is then taken to the woods by its grandmother, who lights a ring of fire around her. Instantly gets you asking questions.

Closing: The Mother is back, this time with a lucky token to keep her safe. A somewhat abrupt ending

Original Review here

2022 In Film: Day Six (The Quite Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Beast

Ups: Good length

The CGI animals have a real presence

Wonderfully directed.

Downs: Not essential

Dialogue is a bit simple.

Quite cliche at times.

Best Moment: When the characters walk through the village and discover all the dead bodies. Haunting, like something out of a horror film.

Worst Moment: Lion in the house, only because it didn’t feel as natural as the other parts.

Best Performer: Elba, obviously.

Opening: The characters arrive at the reserve. Good way to showcase the scenery.

Closing: Surviving members of the family recreate an earlier family photo. Cliche, but kind of sweet.

Best Line: Death came calling to my wife and daughters and i wasn’t there to say no you can’t have them

Original Review here

Elvis

Ups: Is great at telling you who he was, not in a “facts and important dates” way, but in a “understanding who he is” way.

Austin Butler. He is phenomenal.

Will make you cry at times.

Downs: Weirdly edited.

Tom Hanks is a strange choice.

Terribly paced. Tries to do too much. There are at least three stories worth telling, and they’re not given enough time.

Best Moment: The Christmas special. Punk as anything.

Worst Moment: The assassination of MLK, trying to tie that into Elvis feels a bit cheap.

Best Performer: Austin Butler, obviously.

Opening: Tom Parker is on his deathbed. He then talks about how he met Elvis. Kind of a lazy framing device.

Closing: Elvis, fat and depressed, sings at Las Vegas. Truly emotional.

Best Line: His entire speech on stage to Tom Parker. Blistering fury.

Original Review here

Looking For Venera

Ups: The central relationship between the two.

The sociopolitical subtext to everything

Some really interesting shots.

Downs: Not very engaging at times.

Best Moment: The family dancing around a room to music being played on a tinny radio. The enthusiasm the characters have for the activity and for each other is heartwarming to see. And completely stopped by a man coming home and telling them to go to bed, all that happiness and joy, gone in an instant. Really demonstrates the power that the patriarchal system has over them.

Worst Moment: There’s a scene just after that at the breakfast table. It’s really well acted and has some shocking moments, but the characters are out of focus. Very picky I know but it’s too basic a mistake to make in a professional film.

Best Performer: Kosovare Krasniqi 

Opening: A sex scene in the woods between two fully clothed people. Strange choice as you don’t know who they are. Filmed from behind some trees so you do get a wonderfully voyeuristic feel to it. It’s later talked about by the characters, so we didn’t really need to see it.

Closing: A young boy drinking water at a table at a family dinner. At first, I thought “that’s a weird way to end it”, then it hit me. He’s observing. He’s watching the family interactions, he’s seeing how men treat women, and that’s what he’ll grow up to be too. A simple shot implies that everything will repeat. Kind of genius.

Best Line: “I’m not a coward like her”, that line shows her growth so much, but also her immaturity, as saying that to an abusive dick just means they’re going to take it out on the other person.

Original review here

She Will

Ups: Very claustrophobic.

Great sound work, both in terms of music and general sound design.

Downs: The fire incident doesn’t have a narrative follow-up.

Needs to set up some of the background characters better so we know how they’re regarded in-universe.

Feels like it should be better.

Best Moment: When she enters the lodge. You really feel the claustrophobic nature of it.

Worst Moment: A close up of a slug. Really specific but it cuts to it, and then cuts back, way too quickly to the point where it seems like a mistake.

Best Performer: Alice Krige.

Opening: Closeup on a womans eyes looking up at lights. Eye close ups are always good in horror movies as they can be so expressive. We see surgery being performed on her, intercut with her putting on makeup. A nice contrast, and intriguing enough to make you wonder what’s going on, especially when she talks about her mask being one of “preservation”

Closing: A scene of chaos and female reckoning.

Best Line: “The mud here is thought to have healing properties because of all the ashes from women who were burnt as witches” *blank-eyed stare* holy fuck.

Original review here

Sonic The Hedgehog 2

Ups: Better than the first one.

Funny.

Actually has a plot.

Downs: Still inconsistent with the speed.

Quite forgettable.

Tries too hard with the comedy sometimes.

The lead character is kind of obnoxious.

Best Moment: The fact that the villain is basically defeated by a punch in the balls, much like Hitler was.

Worst Moment: The bar dance.

Best Performer: Idris Elba, he is hilarious.

Opening: Sonic is attempting to be a hero. Fun start, and demonstrates both his speed, his morality, and his naive nature.

Closing: They play baseball. Quite funny actually.

Best Line: “It’s so nice when diabolical evil lives up to the hype!”

Original Review here

The Adam Project

Ups: Perfectly cast.

Always good to see new ideas given a big budget.

Downs: Some characters are sidelined unnecessarily

The dialogue could be better.

Bad CGI at times.

Best Moment: The goodbyes. Incredibly emotional. There are two fight scenes I nearly chose, which looked good. But this section is incredible.

Worst Moment: The villain’s death. Mainly because the CGI looks atrocious.

Best Performer: Walker Scobel.

Opening: Ryan Reynolds has stolen a jet and uses it to escape through a wormhole. Sets up the central theme almost immediately.

Closing: Back in the future. Adam meets his wife again. Sweet, but not sure it was the right choice. We don’t see that much of them together.

Best Line: “Hey. You have her to take care of you. She has no one. You understand? Do you understand? She wakes up every morning with a broken heart and a, and a closet full of his clothes and gets nothing from you but a fistful of crap, and not even, like, ten seconds of genuine empathy. You know, thity years, you still get sick to your stomach every time you remember how you treated her now.” More moments like that please.

Original Review here

The Princess

Ups: Bloodier than I expected.

Some good fight scenes.

Downs: Really bad CGI at times.

Feels too much like a video game at times.

The whiff of pandering never really goes away.

Best Moment: The opening because it sets it up as being something different

Worst Moment: When she sets someone on fire. Only because the CGI is REALLY bad

Best Performer: Dominic Cooper

Opening: The Princess (hey, that’s the title of the movie) wakes up in a tower and finds herself chained to a bed. Flashbacks to her being kidnapped. She breaks her own thumb to escape. Surprising but effective.

Closing: She slits a guys throat. There’s a lot of blood and his head comes off (which was a bit weird as she didn’t initially seem to cut that deep). The king announces that now women can rule the kingdom. Yay, finally equality for all rich people of that one family. Her friend didn’t actuallly die, then a guy who’s been searching for her the whole film recognises her. Kind of expected. Then there’s a completely neutered cover of White Wedding

Best Line: “You’ll learn to sleep with one eye open. To never turn your back. I’ll be in heaven, just thinking day and night of ways to kill you. And you’ll be in hell, wondering when it’s coming. And you know that it will be coming. Because you know that I’ll never rest, never idle, never stop, until i am standing above your corpse, holding – in my delicate, manicured hands – your still beating heart!”

Original Review here

Zero Fucks Given

Ups: Has the best drunk acting. They don’t make sense and they talk mostly shit.

Adèle Exarchopoulos, she’s quite good isn’t she?

Downs: There are a few plot points which don’t really go anywhere. Some more interesting plots are suggested but not followed up on.

Best Moment: Montage where everyone is recording safety videos and have to end it by standing still and smiling for 30 seconds in silence. Very awkward and weirdly funny.

Worst Moment: The moments when she’s not on a plane.

Best Performer: Adèle Exarchopoulos, obviously.

Opening: Pre-shift meeting of airline crew. Being told to focus more on individual sales. Then some beautiful shots of flying through clouds. That meeting doesn’t really lead to anything.

Closing: Her in Dubai (wearing a face mask incorrectly btw, it’s not covering her nose) watching a fountain show. Impressive but does seem a bit too much like someone’s holiday video rather than something in a film. It was all supposed to be from her phone, hence the very final shot of her turning the camera towards herself and pulling her mask down. Slightly underwhelming.

Best Line: I prefer to be the irresistible one than the good girl. There is no past, there is no future it’s just you as a cabin manager in this precise moment and her in front of you. Nobody cares about your personal life or your personal issues or what you did yesterday or what you’re going to do tomorrow.

Original Review here

2022 In Film: Day Five (Once Was Enough)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Films which were fine, I’m glad I saw them, but I’m in no hurry to see them again.

A Hero

Ups: Very human

Looks amazing, some beautiful setpieces.

The relationship between the lead and his girlfriend feels very natural

Downs: The writer/director is a dick.

Quite dull in times.

Best Moment: The scene of him in the bank saying he found the bag. Great background acting from the extras when he mentions he’s in prison.

Worst Moment: The ending. It drags slightly

Best Performer: Amir Jadidi

Opening: He’s let out of prison. The pure joy on his face, and then the slight disappointment when none of the taxi cabs stop for him. It’s such a small way to introduce a character, but it does so much. Almost no dialogue for the first five minutes, mostly him walking. But it does allow you to look at the nice scenery.

Closing: He’s back in prison, but with some form of dignity. You don’t hear what his son says to him, but it’s weirdly powerful to watch them say goodbye to each other, it’s heartbreaking. It does go on a few minutes longer than it needs to. The final shot of him inside, queuing up to go back in just feels a bit like wasted time.

Best Line: “where in the world are people celebrated for not doing wrong?” Essentially Chris Rock’s “you don’t get credit for doing shit you’re supposed to do”, but in a dramatic sense.

Original Review here

All My Friends Hate Me

Ups: Very funny

All felt real.

The performances

So awkward.

Downs: A bit too real to be enjoyable.

The friends are really unlikeable.

Best Moment: The ending. Mainly because it’s the only bit of warmth.

Worst Moment: The reveal of the death, seemed to come out of nowhere.

Best Performer: Tom Stourton

Opening: Pete drives to the party, intercut with him having a conversation with his girlfriend. It’s a really weak opening actually, the editing feels a bit weird, like you’re watching a DVD on shuffle.

Closing: Someone nearly dies. I won’t say who, and I won’t say how (I mean, I probably did in the original review but still, nobody reads those). Okay that’s not the ending, but it should have been. It’s a natural crescendo, but then the film continues into an awkward car ride home which doesn’t really land narratively.

Best Line: “You’re doing a bit crap”. It’s at this point the shift happens and he does start being hated by everybody.

Original Review here

Amsterdam

Ups: Very funny.

Good ensemble cast.

About a fascinating piece of US history.

Downs: Issues with tone.

Has trouble with pacing. Going too quickly and then too slowly.

Far far too long.

The characters don’t take the situation seriously, which means the audience don’t.

Best Moment: The three characters in Amsterdam. Weirdly life-affirming.

Worst Moment: The many many instances of tonal whiplash.

Best Performer: John David Washington

Opening: Burt Berendsen is a doctor who specialises in treating war veterans. Good way to introduce both the character and the world.

Closing: The plot is uncovered, and nothing happens. Bit bleak, and not sure that’s what’s really needed right now.

Best Line: “Each one of us is given a tapestry, our own opera. This person and this person. Thinking about it… love is not enough. You got to fight to protect kindness. You get attached to people and things. And they might just break your heart… but that’s being alive”

Original Review here

Avatar: The Way Of Water

Ups: It looks superb.

Good performances.

Sets up the sequel well.

Adds to the mythology.

Downs: Stupid character decisions.

Actually, stupid characters (especially Spider).

Exhaustingly long. That’s the only reason it’s in this section, otherwise it would be the “very good”. But I’m not sure I can stand to watch this film again.

Best Moment: The first time we see Omaticaya. Breathtaking.

Worst Moment: The very lazy way it handwaves everyone speaking in English (sometimes). Oh, and the entire final act.

Best Performer: Sigourney Weaver

Opening: A “where we are now” explaining what’s happened in the last 12 years, Jake now has a family. I think this film assumed everybody remembered the last film, almost zero attempt to appeal to people who can’t remember that much.

Closing: A completely unnecessary sequence set on a sinking boat. The audience had already got into “okay it’s ending soon” mode, only to have another 20 minutes or so tacked on. Oh, and Spider saves his not-dad, even though he hates him because of the whole “genocide” thing. Done purely so the character can come back in the sequel.

Best Line: “Well, I hate you times infinity Lo’ak. Penis face!” Mainly because it came out of nowhere.

Original Review here

Ballad Of A White Cow

Ups: Very tense.

Great performances.

Unique.

Important.

Downs: Could cut about 10 minutes from it

Pacing a bit slow

Muddled messages

Best Moment: Just after the worst moment (depicted below). He gets back in the car and starts driving her around. She’s haunted and just stares ahead with tears on her face. Not a word is said but her face says so much.

Worst Moment: There’s a scene at the end of a phone conversation where she finds out the truth about the guy who’s helping her (that he was one of the men who sentenced her husband to death). The camera is focused on a car on the opposite side of the road. So it’s a static shot of nothing of any importance.

Best Performer: Maryam Moqadam

Opening: Opening text about a quote from the Quran about slaughtering a cow. Then a white cow in a courtyard of a really bleak building. Looks weirdly CGI.

Closing: She poisons someone. It’s not quick or comedic. It’s probably the best poisoning I’ve seen in a film for the long time You truly get his panic and torment, but also how ultimately it doesn’t make her feel better or bring her peace. Although it then shows him sitting at the table, so it’s likely she imagined it and realised the meaningless of doing it. Or she just sat his body up on the chair, which is much less likely.

Best Line: “why don’t we ask daddy for some?” Makes you aware that she hasn’t told her daughter that her dad was executed. Tbf, how do you say that?

Original Review here

DC League Of Super-Pets

Ups: Good jokes, some of which will only work in this film.

Full of references.

Downs: Kevin Hart doesn’t work as Bat-Hound

Bit simple.

The human heroes get overpowered too easily

The human/pet choices are far too convenient.

Not enough for adults.

Best Moment: The bat-hound flashback saying why he got abandoned. Heartbreaking.

Worst Moment: The “sacrifice”. Mainly because you know it won’t stick so there’s zero tension.

Best Performer: Keanu Reeves. Not in it much but is perfect.

Opening: Destruction of Krypton. Because that’s not been seen enough in films.

Closing: All the pets have formed a super-hero team. Pretty obvious. The big thing from the ending (well, mid credits scene) is the film debut of Black Adam. Didn’t really gather that much hype though.

Best Line: “That’d better be a licensed toy or I will freak out.”

Original Review here

Lingui, The Sacred Bonds

Ups: So very tense.

Some lush landscapes. Africa is still presented as “sand and sadness” so it’s good to see lush greenery and beautiful rivers.

So powerful.

There’s an act of violence near the end which is incredibly realistic. That works for it and against it. It doesn’t make it seem cinematic, but the dull thuds give it a strange bruality.

Downs: The editing could be slightly clearer at parts.

Some shots could be better.

Chemistry between the two leads isn’t quite there.

Best Moment: When Maria tries to drown herself. It’s eerily calm and quiet. Most drownings are like a series of crashing waves, this is more like a calm lake

Worst Moment: There’s one REALLY bad edit where someone is walking and suddenly it’s edited so they’re about 2 feet away and standing in a position where they’ve been there a while.

Best Performer: Achouackh Abakar Souleyman

Opening: Character cutting open and stripping a tire, using the parts of it to make wire stoves. Good introduction to how resourceful she can be.

Closing: Brutal violence, followed by the daughter being given independence.

Best Line: “Many girls get pregnant, and it’s bad for our image” ouch.

Original Review here

Moonfall

Ups: Delightfully dumb.

Fun.

The large setpieces are well-crafted and unique.

Downs: Some really bad CGI for backgrounds.

Even an idiot could point out scientific inaccuracies.

Aggressively American

Best Moment: Most of the moments with John Bradley’s character. He’s funny and really nerdy.

Worst Moment: The entire sub-plot of the family back on earth getting to a safe location. Adds nothing.

Best Performer: John Bradley.

Opening: The original incident. Showing two of the characters being attacked. On the plus side it’s dynamic, exciting, and lets you know what’s happening. On the downside, it lets you know what’s happening. It would have been nice if they withheld the truth a little bit longer, let us have doubts about the main character’s recollection.

Closing: The character who died forever lives as AI. A massive cop-out that I saw coming a mile off. Also seems like really unsubtle sequel baiting.

Best Line: “You’re part of the Moon now.” so dumb.

Original Review here

2022 In Film: Day Four (The Alright)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

“so, what was that film like?” “was alright”

I mean, I don’t know how else I can explain it. These are films I’m never going to own, but if they’re on Netflix I might have them on in the background while I do something else.

Broadcast Signal Instructions

Ups: Good at setting tone.

Very weird.

Will appeal to an audience that likes this kind of thing.

The intrusions themselves are superb.

Downs: VERY reminiscent of Censor. Not a direct remake, but enough tonal and narrative similarities that make you wonder. It’s like they took Censor, played Chinese Whispers with it a hundred times until it had changed, and then made the result.

Doesn’t answer the mystery.

Bit cliche at times.

Best Moment: There’s a moment where he gets fired and his boss does it by leaving him a six pack of beer. There’s something weirdly good about that. It’s completely unnecessary but it’s such a unique touch

Worst Moment: When you realise it has no intention of answering the central mystery.

Best Performer: Harry Shum Jr.

Opening: James is transferring tapes over at work, then goes home. Really well done actually. They don’t go with traditional horror music, they go with jazz, which gives it a strange ethereal quality. Some really creative shots too. It then goes into slightly more horror dream fare but the transition between reality and horror is handled well.

Closing: I think he kills a mentally challenged person. I mean, the guy seems to not fully comprehend what’s going on at times, asking when his dad is getting home and using simple language. And I’m assuming he dies because he’s forced to record a confession, and then James is seen with a hammer. Then James hits a robot (?) with his car. The robot locks eyes with him, screams, and coughs up blood.

Best line: [incoherent noise]. Weird I know, but the intrusions themselves are superb, and the way they twisted the audio dialogue is a big part of that.

Original review here

Joyride

Ups: Fun script.

Colman is a joy as always.

Downs: It’s weird to see Olivia Colman with an Irish accent.

Some odd dialogue options. Like when she’s on a plane and can’t get off. She expresses surprise and says she can still physrically get off because “the stairs are still there”. I don’t know, kind of feels like it should have had a “fuck” or “feck” there. It’s the end of a buildup of anger and it needed a swear as punctuation.

Don’t see enough of the dad being violent or abusive. His villainess is very PG. I’m not asking him to kill a child, but the film takes about him being someone who inspires fear, yet never really see it

Best/Worst Moment: Joy nearly drowning. I’m including it in both because while it is an emotional scene, more could have been done with it. A scene of that nature should not be as expendable as it is. It’s really only there so you can get a callback at the end.

Best Performer: Olivia Colman, obviously.

Opening: A funeral for a mother. At the funeral, her 13 year old son realises that his dad has stolen money from a collection jar set up for the hospice that looked after her. A lot of films would have taken time to build her up, this launches straight into it. Including the opening credits and logos, we see the mother, her funeral, the money getting stolen, then the kid stealing it back, all within 4 minutes. On the downside, possibly robs us of some emotion. Although, it’s a coming of age comedy, so it doesn’t need to be super depressing and bleak, not everything needs sadness. And it’s good to see a film launch so quickly.

Closing: Joy realises that she really does want the baby she tried to give away. Kind of obvious really.

Best Line: “you can’t get off, the doors are closed” “the door can open, that’s what doors do”

Original Review here

My Neighbour Adolph

Ups: It’s unique, you have to give it that.

Moments of genius.

Downs: Do we really need a cute folksy calm Hitler movie?

Best Moment: The fact the whole conflict is kicked off by “Hitler” taking part of a garden that doesn’t belong to him? Genius.

Worst Moment: The reveal is a little weak.

Best Performer: Udo Kier.

Opening: Flashback to Mr Polsky growing up. Does a good job of setting up his childhood and explaining why he is how he is.

Closing: They’re not quite friends. It’s hard to explain, because it’s strange.

Best Line: “What’s Soloman?” Out of context, means nothing. In context, hilarious.

Original review here

Operation Mincemeat

Ups: Fascinating story.

Good performances

Downs: Bit bland

The interpersonal relationships don’t work.

Best Moment: The bit where they’re discussing the specifics. Very fun, and almost like a spy movie.

Worst Moment: The strange interactions between Kelly Macdonalds and Colin Firth’s characters, bit of a strange almost romance that doesn’t go anywhere.

Best Performer: Matthew Macfadyen

Opening: Simple set-up of characters. Could be better, could be worse. Very ITV

Closing: Text explaining what happened to everybody. Weirdly that’s the most fascinating part of it.

Best Line: The introductory monologue. Sums it up quite well.

Original Review here

The Bad Guys

Ups: Some good animation.

Pretty solid heist moments.

Downs: Wears its influences too obviously so it feels like it lacks originality.

How do you not use the song?

Best Moment: Snake giving up the push pop. Very sweet.

Worst Moment: The music section just after the opening title card. Seems a little too “We’re relevant and cool”

Best Performer: Sam Rockwell.

Opening: Two characters discussing an upcoming birthday. They’re sitting in a cafe where everybody is scared of them. Quite Pulp Fiction, which is a weird choice for a kids film. They then rob a bank and drive away. The opening at the cafe wasn’t needed at all, if the film started with them coming out of the bank it would have livened it up, and wouldn’t have given me the “wait, is this going to be terrible?” worries.

Closing: The truth is revealed to the city. It’s good, but I feel the con by snake was over a little too quickly, if he turned earlier in the film then the fact he was double crossing the guinea pig would have been a bigger shock rather than the “well obviously, he was only friends with him for about 3 minutes”.

Best Line: I’M HAVING A BABY! IS THERE A DOCTOR? OR PERHAPS, SEVERAL SECURITY GUARDS, THAT CAN LEAVE THEIR POST AND HELP ME?

Original Review here

The Duke

Ups: Very likeable characters.

Funny dialogue.

Actually has a good twist.

Downs: Never gets better than “good”

Best Moment: The twist. Enough time has passed since release where I feel safe talking about this. It turns out he didn’t steal the painting, his son did. Genuinely didn’t expect that.

Worst Moment: Some of the court scenes go on a bit.

Best Performer: Jim Broadbent.

Opening: The court case. Makes sense to start there as that’s what everybody is here for.

Closing: He watches a Bond film at the cinema, spotting a reference to the stolen painting. Later, his son admits the truth, but doesn’t get prosecuted. Interesting historically, and good to know.

Best Line: “I’d just finished reading Joseph Conrad’s Heart Of Darkness and I felt a need to explore Sunderland.”

Original Review here

The Lost King

Ups: Fascinating story.

Enjoyable while you watch it.

Downs: It plays out like we don’t know what happened. It was big news in the UK, we’re all aware of it.

Disposable.

The liberties it takes with the truth.

Best Moment: The crowd-funding scene. Heartwarming, especially when it reveals her husband donated.

Worst Moment: When she gets clues from a ghost. They changed a lot about the character, but I don’t think it’s particularly a big secret that she had more to go on than “a ghost told me”.

Best Performer: Sally Hawkins

Opening: Philippa Langley loses a job opportunity. Sets up the character well, albeit quite unsubtly.

Closing: Ghost Richard appears to thank Philippa. Then text tells us he is now officially recognised as the rightful King of England for the period he was King. Nice to know.

Best Line: “are you sure you want to join this group? you look normal”

Original Review here

The Northman

Ups: Deliciously brutal.

Intense.

Looks incredible.

Downs: A lot of wasted time.

Mean spirited.

Best Moment: The volcano fight. Because of how amazing it looks. Although Queen Gudrún’s revelation about the truth of her relationship with Amlath’s father (he was a vicious rapey dickhead who she never loved) is up there too.

Worst Moment: The opening, because of how much of a slog it is to get through.

Best Performer: Alexander Skarsgård

Opening: The death of the king. It takes FOREVER to get through.

Closing: Everybody dies. Really the only way this film could end. This isn’t going to get a “happy ever after”

Best Line: This is the last tear you will shed in weakness. It will be given back when most you need it.

Original Review here

The Phantom Of The Open

Ups: Charming.

Funny.

Downs: Forgettable.

Wastes some actors.

Best Moment: When he gets invited to go to America.

Worst Moment: Dream sequence. Just kind of dumb.

Best Performer: Mark Rylance.

Best Line: Pick all the flowers you can, while you’re still young.

Original Review here

Uncharted

Ups: Gives you enough backstory so it makes sense even if you haven’t played the video games.

Fun action scenes.

Even the most ludicrous action scenes don’t look overly CGI’d.

Downs: Full of “well that’s convenient/they shouldn’t have survived that” moments.

Plot is very pedestrian.

Best Moment: The falling cars. Yes it’s dumb, yes it’s impossible, but it’s a lot of fun.

Worst Moment: The cameo of the voice actor from the video games. Incredibly unsubtle. It’s shot in a “this is a cameo” way so you know it’s somebody.

Best Performer: Tom Holland.

Opening: Starts mid-action scene. Taking all tension away from scenes set before that that occur later on in the film.

Closing: An action scene on boats, in the air. There is a “are they actually friends” moment, where a character spends so long debating a choice, he wastes the chance to not need to make a choice.

Best Line: Rescued? Don’t you mean looted?

Original Review here