Quick Synopsis: A theatre critic lures a struggling actress into a seductive blackmail plot.

I went into this on a weird day. It was one of those days where you can’t stop worrying about one thing, and it just keeps entering your head and ruining everything. So however this review goes, bear in mind that it was good enough to distract me when nothing else did for the three days prior. So whatever else I say, I can’t deny it is effective at keeping your attention. That’s a good thing, because it means you’re still paying attention when the story finally starts. I hadn’t seen a trailer for this, or even read a synopsis. So I wasn’t sure what The Critic was about. That level of not-knowing continued for most of the film’s run-time. Soooooo much of the runtime for The Critic is spent setting up the story, with barely any time spent on the actual story itself. The actual plot-related portion only takes up about 10-20 minutes.

It is mainly about Jimmy, his character is so compelling. He’s acerbic, ambitious, a real drunken hot mess. He’s also gay, which leads to a great scene of him verbally jousting with some nazi dickheads. It’s essentially that scene from Black Books where Bernard approaches skinheads, but more subdued. It’s interesting to see a critic on-screen. It shows just how important reviewers are, and if you ever know any reviewers, even if you just read their stuff online, you should give them presents and compliments. The opening two-thirds mostly focuses on him as a cruel reviewer having to come face to face with the targets of his ire, about how they react to his brutal insults, his words have power and with that power comes responsibility. It’s an interesting look into the power of writing, especially in a time when the country is under threat from the rise of fascist political parties and opinion formers (thank god THAT’s not an issue anymore). That section is so interesting that it overshadows the rest of the narrative. It feels wrong to say, but “people talking” was more compelling to watch unfold than when there was sex, murder and blackmail.

Not that the sex and blackmail aren’t enjoyable (isn’t that Donald Trumps’ campaign slogan?). Visually it’s a delight. The opening scene is a barrage of bright colours that are a true feast for the eyes. The dialogue is also a lot of fun. There are some lines here which could have been written by Noël Coward. The performances are damn fine too. Everybody knows Ian McKellen is great (hence all the awards and respect he has), but this is the first time I’ve ever really “got” Gemma Arterton. Before I just thought of her as “Is that Cobie Smulders? Oh it’s not”. But there are moments in this where she showcases how good she really is. There’s a scene in particular that stands out, where Nina and Jimmy are conversing about how she became an actress because of him, and how she’s craving his approval. Arterton is damn near perfect in that scene, even her silences say so much. Ben Barnes is fun to watch onscreen, even if (for some reason) I thought he was Henry Golding.

In summary; I would say this is worth watching, but maybe not immediately. It probably wasn’t helped that I watched this on Friday afternoon, just after that I watched Lee, and the day before I watched Babes. I haven’t posted the reviews of them yet, but (spoilers), they are both fantastic and among my cinematic highlights of the year. And no matter how good the salmon and cucumber sandwich of The Critic, it’s in between the warm and delicious bread of Lee and Babes. That metaphor makes sense right?