Quick Synopsis: Reclusive writer Elly Conway finds herself in the middle of danger when it turns out her spy novels have started coming true.

Mystery and riddles are always good ways to sell a film. You provide a question, and people will want to answer it. You provide intrigue, and people will want to delve further into it. On the other hand, it can also kill a movie. Jennifers’ Body was marketed to appeal to the type of people the film wasn’t meant for and put off those who would have liked it. Argylle is the latest example of a film completely devalued by its marketing campaign. Firstly, it was built around “Who is Agent Argylle?”. The issue is, the type of people who would be intrigued by that are the kind of people who would use Google (well, duckduckgo as Google is pretty much useless at this point) and social media to work it out. If they did, then they’d have seen that the question was answered in the initial press release for the film back in 2021. The other issue I had with it was the line “From the twisted mind of Matthew Vaughn”, it’s a 12A. That pretty much guarantees you’re not going to get the violence that made him famous. So people go into this knowing that they’re going to get a lesser version of what could possibly be made.

There are definitely a few moments where the rating harms the experience. Some of the fight scenes sag when they should soar, the action not being creative enough to make up for the lack of blood. Intense fight scenes are normally the highlight of a Vaughn movie, but with Argylle they’re arguably the worst. There’s a smoke-filled scene near the end which is laughably bad. Nothing about that particular scene works except for possibly the colours. The choreography is poor, everything looks CGI, and the music choice is the wrong one. Note to directors; if you’re looking for an iconic piece of music to score an action scene, a Leona Lewis cover of a Snow Patrol song is never the right choice.

I mentioned the CGI earlier, I have to reiterate that it’s terrible. If someone told me that none of the actors in the film actually met each other and it was all filmed adhering to social distancing regulations, I wouldn’t be surprised.

There are a few things to like about it though. Some of the music choices are fun. It’s a good ensemble cast, and there are some very funny lines. The moments where she’s struggling to write so Henry Cavill’s character keeps restarting the scene are also fun.

But for everything to like about it, there are three things to dislike. There’s a moment in the middle where there is potential for an incredibly tense “she could be killed at any point in this scene” section, instead it’s over far too quickly. That sums up Argylle, great potential, completely wasted. Ironically, completely wasted would be the ideal way to watch this.