For those unsure as to what this is, read this first.
So, here’s the first script, hope you enjoy it:
This was the first place my head went when I tried to think of a script based in these times. The idea of two people communicating and falling in love through a clear window without being unable to actually speak to each other. I think if I was doing a second draft of this I’d add a little more focus on his upstairs neighbour, he’s mentioned in one scene, really just a way to answer the “why don’t they just call/email each other?” question people would have. I feel if I extended the script slightly I could give him more to do, or even not have him actually do anything but the fear of him watching her inspires more of the story. I did consider having a scene where the guy walks out his flat and punches the upstairs neighbour in the face (or throws him off the balcony) but tonally that didn’t really seem to fit what I had. I feel the same about the ending if I’m honest, it feels a little too, I don’t know, cruel? Which is weird as that was a core part of the script when I came up with it, it was all building towards that moment where they sit across from each other and find themselves with nothing to say (it was either going to be that or one of them actually is deaf). So the whole thing was building up to that ending, but now I’ve actually written it I don’t think I like it. Maybe I should have ended it at the moment where they meet. Have a sappy emotionally charged song playing as they go towards each other. I feel I should have done more on the background world as well, using radio announcements to build up a better idea of what’s going on outside of their flat. Overall I’m not too disappointed with it, I don’t think it’s filmable in its current state but I feel it could be workable in a few drafts time, I just need to feel the personal passion towards it.
Troubled Productions 