January – Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance)
Oh yes, damn this is good. This film is so good you forget how pretentious the title is. It’s a two hour film that’s made to look like one continuous shot, and it manages it. You’re not sitting there going “oh, well that was the obvious cut there”. It’s done SO well that you can’t help but be impressed by it. Also, Keaton is amazing in it.
February – The Interview
It Follows also came out this month, and I’d much rather talk about that as it’s a SUPERB horror film, set in somehow the past and the future, it’s great. So why am I talking about this? Because this had a bigger influence on reality, nearly starting a war between America and North Korea. Can you imagine if that actually happened? Historians would have to mention a comedy film in regards to a war. Wars are supposed to be about important things; for a country to get freedom from the nation that’s oppressing it, to stop a genocidal Charlie Chaplin invading Belgium, or because a president is facing impeachment and wants a distraction. To me, the most interesting part of this story isn’t that it happened, mainly because most of the leaks were standard industry bullshit and backstabbing. The most interesting part was when Sony threatened to sue any news agencies that reported on it. Bold tactic, and one I’m very glad didn’t work. “Oi, news, stop reporting on things!” The news is mostly bullshit anyway, if it had any less substance it would qualify as toilet roll (very hard to do with the digital edition).
March – The Voices
I had to mention this. This is one of my favourite films of all time. I was looking forward to this film since it was first announced, when all I knew was the director and the actor involved. Persepolis is one of my favourite things of all time (as evidenced here), so the fact the author of that was directing this piqued my interest, then Ryan Reynolds was announced as the lead actor and I was more excited than I should have been. The only film I have been checking the internet for information for during production. If this was bad it would have ruined everything, but luckily it’s REALLY REALLY good. Funny, beautifully shot, and the most WTF ending I’ve seen in a long time. It both comes out of nowhere and makes perfect sense. Also, it’s a surprisingly good take on mental health. Yes it’s horrifying at times, and sometimes it’s hilarious, but it’s also surprisingly poignant. Fuck it, I’m linking the trailer too, you have to see this.
April – The Duff
Yeah, Age Of Ultron came out this month, but I said everything I needed to about that here. John Wick came out too, but there are 2 sequels to that I can talk about, plus I mentioned it in depth here. Plus I don’t talk about this film that much when I really should. It’s better than Mean Girls, and that film is enjoyable. It really hits the marks you need it to. If it wasn’t for Edge Of Seventeen then this would be the best teen movie I’ve seen at cinema.
May – The Big Game
You know what? I’m not going to say anything here. I’m going to directly quote our other writer and what he said about it back in 2015:
“”As spectacular as it is funny” “Samuel L Jackson has his tongue firmly in his cheek”. I wish either of these statements were true about this still born mess, failing to be dumb fun. The concept is great; a wimpy President played by Samuel L Jackson is chased through the mountains by terrorists and is helped by a badass child warrior. This should be as fun and or as campy as Olympus has fallen, or White House down…but instead, the kid isn’t a badass at all and spends most the film trying to find himself and failing; and though all his lines are wimpy, Jackson still plays it like a badass, so it’s just awkward. For a film apparently just going for fun, it takes its story and characters’ much too seriously, and its biggest failure is trying to distil genuine arcs and development on these blocks of wood.””
June – Spy
Yeah, it was really slim picking this month. I blame Minions. That also came out this month so studios didn’t release much against it. This is probably the best one of the month. Definitely, my favourite Jason Statham performance as he just leans into the ridiculousness of who he is.
July – The Gallows
I’m going to quote the same blog that the Big Game quote came from for this.
There was a lot of bad films this year but this tops the list for absolutely NOTHING about it working. It was badly shot, the actors were shit, the characters were annoying, the “twist” didn’t make sense in terms of plot and seemed to be an asspull, the jump scare ruined what would have actually been an okay ending (seriously, if you have a moment in your film where a character gives a monologue on stage and then the lights go out and the curtain goes down: END THE FILM THERE!), the characters were the most annoying people I’ve seen outside of Twitter.
Still accurate, although on reflection, maybe Big Game was worse.
August – Vacation
Over 4 years later and I’m still trying to figure out who this film is aimed at. It contains lots of nods and winks at the previous films in the Vacation franchise, but the type of humour is very different so the odds of someone liking both are quite low, but people who didn’t watch any of the others are unlikely to get the references. Although the weirdest comparison between the two is how much Chevy Chase has changed. The story is kind of bland. In fact, let’s be honest, the story is completely irrelevant, the jokes carry the story, not the other way around. Not so much a film, more a series of different sketches. But let’s face it nobody is watching this for the story are they? They’re watching it for the laughs, and this film does have that. But a lot of them are so predictable, you can spot a lot of jokes coming miles away, you just sit there waiting for the inevitable punchline, by which time the wait has meant it is almost as painful as being punched in the face.
September – Bill
A wonderfully silly kids movie. The closest we’ve got to a modern Monty Python movie. Not as educational as the TV show it’s based on, and the songs aren’t as impressive, but it’s still very funny. Side note; I was going to talk about another film here, one which horribly disappointed me. But then I read about how the writer is a massive sex pest, so fuck that guy.
October – Macbeth
This is mainly here to remind me that I really need to see it. It was mentioned on a podcast I listen to called How2Survive and they highly recommended it. Probably the best movie podcast I listen to at the moment, and I’ve picked a terrible time to recommend it as they’ve just gone on a break for a few months. But essentially they take a film and discuss how to survive (OMG I just realised why they called the podcast that) it, whilst also discussing the film. I love it, it’s a unique idea. Although I have to be honest I very rarely remember their how to survive tips, I mainly recall the random discussions (especially when they refer to wikihow) and the obvious love for films that they have. Also their politics (by which I mean, they also think women are people) match mine, which is always nice to hear. Listen to it here.
November – Lady In The Van
Damn this was a good month, a month where Bridge Of Spies isn’t the best movie of the month. It’s mainly the script. The dialogue is delightful. There’s a plot device which isn’t utilised enough to be truly effective, and the author cameo is too obvious to the point where I didn’t know what he looked like but I still knew that was him.
December – Christmas With The Coopers
This film tried to be Love Actually, and failed (or as one person I nearly worked with would say “this film tried to be love. Actually and failed”). Mainly because the characters are quite unsympathetic, and it goes on way way too long. They have a good ending point but then someone gets taken to hospital and it adds another 20 minutes. I can barely remember anything from it, without looking at the poster I can’t even remember who is in it. I think Steve Martin voiced a dog.