Tag: The Alto Knights

2025 In Film: Day Two (The Bad)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Clown In A Cornfield
Ups: Some nice subversive character choices.
Some pretty decent shots; always looks clear.
Downs: Kevin Durand looks like a poundland Elon Musk
Predictable.
Doesn’t build up the villain.
Best Performer: Katie Douglas
Best Moment: The reveal that Cole and Rust are former lovers.
Worst Moment: The parade. Feels weak.
Opening: Party in a cornfield. Well, in a barn next to a cornfield. Close enough. Like all cool parties, there’s a teen playin with a windup doll. Her and a random dude strip off to fuck in a cornfield (feels like that’s how you’d get diseases). They die, obviously.
Closing: A damn sequel hook.
Best Line: You do realize that the ’80s are as far away from me as ’40s were to you, right?
Original review here

Ella McCay
Ups: Charming.
Some interesting moments.
Downs: Too unfocused.
Doing a political comedy this toothless feels cowardly.
Feels dated.
Inconsistent characterisation.
Best Performer: Jamie Lee Curtis
Best Moment: Ella’s freakout/monologue.
Worst Moment: The security working their way into overtime. Mainly because it has the air of something important and monumental, but really it doesn’t matter.
Opening: Narration by Julie Kavner giving us the history of Ella; basically, her dad was a dick.
Closing: Ella has started a non-profit that offers legal aid. Nice, but feels tacked. on.
Best Line:
Original review here

Nosferatu
Ups: Tense
Technically good.
Downs: Dull.
Feels too in debt to the original to really leave its own mark.
Uninteresting characters.
Best Performer: Nicholas Hoult
Best Moment: Orlock on the ship.
Worst Moment: The death of Friedrich feels a bit weird.
Opening: Ellen doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. She awakes an ancient creature and vows to pledge herself to him.
Closing: Nosferatu gets distracted and feeds until sunlight.
Best Line: God is beyond our morals! In vain! In vain! You run in vain! You cannot outrun her destiny! Her dark bond with the beast shall redeem us all, for when the sun’s pure light shall break upon the dawn, redemption! The plague shall be lifted! Redemption!
Original review here

Renner
Ups: Good performances.
Pretty visuals
Downs: Terrible script. I mean, there are moments where the visuals aren’t great, but the major problems (consistency, bad characters, genre confusion) are ALL down to the script, which is poor.
Best Performer: Violett Beane
Best Moment: Just after the monopoly scene there’s a wonderfully lit sequence.
Worst Moment: When he attacks the thieves. Purely because the way its shot (quick flashes whilst he’s asking what to do) makes it come off as a fantasy sequence rather than reality. The visually unclear storytelling happens a few times, but its most clear then.
Opening: I know it’s a common joke to make that the vanity cards that open up films are so long they seem like an actual movie, but the opening credits for this legit seem like a vanity card.
Closing: He gets shot. Reminds me of the original ending of Clerks where Kevin Smith was told “you killed off your character because you have no idea how to end your story”.
Best Line: Do you have a desire that remains unfulfilled because of your non-existent confidence?
Original review here

Silent Night, Deadly Night
Ups: Some decent kills.
Potential
Downs: Too bleak, stopped caring.
Falls apart if you think about it for more than a minute.
Best Performer: Ruby Modine
Best Moment: The many deaths of Nazi’s.
Worst Moment: When they encounter the snatcher. I’m still not sure whether we were supposed to recognise who they were.
Opening: The death of Billy’s grandparent, and parents. Sets up his character well, and pays homage to the original.
Closing: Billy dies, Pam is now the new Billy. So you have a non-white woman taking over a white male role. I’m sure the internet loved that.
Best Line: Punish
Original review here

The Alto Knights
Ups: Fans of the genre will enjoy it.
Well crafted atmosphere.
Good performances.
Suits the period.
Downs: Doesn’t bring anything new.
Maybe should have been made decades ago.
Best Performer: De Niro
Best Moment: Barber shop assassination.
Worst Moment: People testifying in front of congress. It’s edited terribly.
Opening: Frank Costello is shot in an elevator, then explains the history between him and Vito Genovese.
Closing: The Apalachin meeting. Much rather see a film about that.
Original review here

The Electric State
Ups: The robots look spectacular.
Downs: Bland story
They don’t seem like brother/sister. To be honest, the way they react is more like lovers. Hard to explain why.
Chris Pratt REALLY wants to be Harrison Ford doesn’t he?
Best Performer: Millie Bobby Brown
Best Moment: The Christopher reveal. Horrifying.
Worst Moment: The death of Clark Amherst. Has no emotional weight.
Opening: It’s 1990, “before the war”. Well it says “before the war”, but war is on the horizon and humanity already hates robots. Sweet interactions between the sibilings. We then get a background on the world, how robots were invented and came to take part in an uprising. I kind of think the “robot uprising” part of should have come first, the siblings part didn’t accomplish anything that couldn’t have been accomplished better elsewhere.
Closing: The robot character we thought was dead stands up so is still alive. oh no, what a shock.
Best Line: I have a condition where I can only live in reality. Sucks, but you go right ahead!
Original review here

The Toxic Avenger
Ups: Bloody
Fun
Actually helped people.
Downs: Too self-aware at times.
Oddly restrained in parts.
Needs a better soundtrack.
Best Performer: Dinklage
Best Moment: The diner robbery. Political, violent, and fun.
Worst Moment: The random guy in the woods. Mainly because it feels like a diversion.
Opening: Dramatic voiceover, met with quick highlights of what we’re about to see. Perfect for this.
Closing: The bad guys die, good guys win.
Best Line: My God you people are tedious!
Original review here

Y2K
Ups: Full of nostalgia.
Some good music choices.
Downs: A little too dumb.
Some unrealistic deaths.
The main character comes off a bit too “nice guy” at times.
Who is it aimed at?
Best Performer: Rachel Zegler
Best Moment: The sing-along to Tubthumbing. Kind of cute.
Worst Moment: The skating death. After seeing people being impaled and set on fire, a 1 foot drop while skating will always seem shitty.,
Opening: The “internet connection” noise. Then AOL. What ever happened to them? They WERE the internet.
Closing: Five years later, the glitch face appears on an iPod. Because God forbid a horror film be self-contained and not aim for a sequel.
Best Line: You think this’ll work because you saw it in a movie? I think movies have warped your mind. God damn, now I’m sounding like Tipper Gore.
Original review here

The Alto Knights (2025) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: In the 1950s, notorious New York crime bosses Frank Costello and Vito Genovese vie for control of the city streets. Once the best of friends, petty jealousies and a series of betrayals place them on a deadly collision course that reshapes organised crime forever.

A few weeks ago (In my review of The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, posted here), I talked about films from your childhood which aren’t meant for children, I didn’t mention it at the time, but another film that filled that role for me was Sleepers. I have vivid memories of the scene on the subway stairs; that’s my Odessa Steps/Battleship Potemkin moment. I also have fond memories of Bandits, Toys (yup, that tonal disaster, I like it), Rain Man, Good Morning Vietnam, and Liberty Heights. So it’s safe to say, whilst not necessarily a fan, I have enjoyed a lot of films directed by Barry Levinson. So the idea of him going back to telling stories about the mafia (much like Sleepers) means I should like this, especially with a performer of the calibre of Robert DeNiro.

Sadly, the result of that combined talent just means you are acutely aware of how dull this is compared to what it could be. Everyone involved has, and should do better than this. The double DeNiro feels like a classic case of stunt casting. If the characters were related, it might make sense. Think of the classic crime performances; normally, they involve another person that the actor can bounce off. These movies are perfect for two actors to share a scene and create magic. That’s especially the case in films like this, where you can have two people who want to harm each other sit opposite each other calmly, both threatening each other whilst not making the first move. The fact that DeNiro plays both roles robs the audience of that potential. It doesn’t bring to mind classic movies; it more closely resembles the minus-5-star classic that is Undertaker Vs. Undertaker from Summerslam 1994 (guarantee this is the only review that’s made that comparison, guarantee not guaranteed).

If you love this genre, as in, watch EVERYTHING to do with it, then there’s stuff for you to enjoy in it. The atmosphere is well-crafted, and there are moments which are reminiscent of classic gangster movies, backed up by some pretty damn good performances. But it doesn’t bring anything new to the table. It never feels like it has its own identity, feeling more like a highlight reel of other, better movies. Maybe if this were made in the ’90s, it would be impressive, but in 2025? You can’t help but feel you’ve seen everything before.

There are some good moments; the barber shop assassination feels like something that would be iconic if it had arrived earlier in cinematic history. I also enjoyed the ending, where we see the famed Apalachin Meeting. I’d love an entire film based around that moment; it’s extraordinary. Meanwhile, the section where characters are testifying in front of congress feels weak. That’s mainly due to the editing; something about it just doesn’t work; there’s no flow, instead of feeling momentous, it feels like you’re watching a dvd that’s scratched and keeps skipping.

In summary; The Alto Knights should be iconic. Instead, it feels too much like a mini-series that’s been edited down. It sinks when it should swoop, and brings nothing new to an overstuffed table.