Most Disappointing

Nominees

Havoc

The Raid is a modern classic, Tom Hardy is one of the top performers around, and who doesn’t love seeing Timothy Olyphant in stuff? I remember being incredibly frustrated in the build-up to this, not with the film itself, but with the lack of information or a concrete release date. I was really looking forward to it, and was desperate for it to be released so I could finally watch what I was sure would be one of my favourite films of the year. It’s not. It’s not outright bad, but it’s incredibly forgettable. There’s nothing about it that stands out.

Love Hurts

Maybe this is my fault for expecting something similar to Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. Not in terms of depth, but in terms of fight scenes. That’s on me. What’s not on me is just how bland this is. What’s worse is that you can tell they’re really trying. That’s less annoying than if nobody cared, but it is more disappointing. You can tell there’s a great movie somewhere in the depths, but it never reaches it.

Matt And Mara

I love romantic comedies, and I love dialogue-heavy low-budget films. Matt and Mara just didn’t work for me, though. I think it’s because I didn’t care about the characters or their relationship. Romantic comedies only work when the audience wants the characters to be together before the characters realise it. Defenders may argue that this isn’t technically a romantic comedy, but that’s clearly the vibes it was going for; one of missed maybes and overlooked opportunities.

Nosferatu

I should have liked this. I like dark and weird. But for whatever reason, this left me cold—not in a “this is too horrific” way but in a “yeah, I don’t actually care anymore” way. The only thing stopping me from spending half the film looking at my watch was that my watch had broken. I would have enjoyed that more.

Saturday Night

I REALLY wanted to like this more than I did. It just felt more like a love letter than an actual story. It was created more for the sake of the creators than it was for the audience. I’m not saying creators need to cater solely to audiences, but you need to be aware of them. It’s clear that Reitman has a great affection for the era, but he never gives the audience a clear reason to share that affection.

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery

It’s weird to put a film that was in the top 10 of the year in this category. But normally, these films are in the top 3, so it definitely feels like a step down.

Winner

Death Of A Unicorn

A film starring Paul Rudd, with a ridiculous premise, a fast-paced trailer, and an opening full of silly, light-hearted jokes. Maybe my expectations for it to be silly and fun weren’t all just me being stupid. I get that sometimes films need messages, and it was possible to portray messages in films like this, but the way it’s handled here is terrible. There’s no sense of fun or joy to any of this. It tries to be The Menu, but ends up being more like a shoddily photocopied discount flyer posted through your door.

Most Surprising

Nominees

Deep Cover

An Amazon Prime original, starring the lead from Argylle, directed by someone mainly known for television. Yeah, my hopes were not high. If you think about it too much, the whole plot falls apart. But whilst you’re watching? It’s an utter delight. This isn’t among my favourite films of the year, but it is one I will watch again, and which I will recommend to people if they have a Prime account.

Fackham Hall

A British comedy released with ZERO marketing in the run-up to Christmas? Screams success. Plus, it’s written by Jimmy Carr, who is very funny, but also makes questionable decisions for his career (Hosting the “top 100 blah de blah” on Channel 4 early in his career? Fine. Going to the Saudi comedy festival in 2025? Nah). Plus, I don’t really give a shit about the genre it’s spoofing, I’ve avoided stuff like Downton Abbey, etc., because they don’t interest me in the slightest. Yet this works. It’s so funny that it broke my brain and made me look for comedy in the next film I saw.

Heads Of State

Very similar to what I wrote for Deep Cover. I love Idris Elba, but he does have a habit of occasionally choosing shit films to be in. This isn’t one of them. His chemistry with John Cena is key to this working, and I want to see them in more. I’m not saying they should remake Lethal Weapon with those two, but they should remake Lethal Weapon with those two.

Winner

Last Breath

I was genuinely disappointed when I finished this film. Not with the film itself, but with how bad the marketing was. Well, I assume their was marketing, it was just done in a way that I never saw any of it. I had a vague idea of what it was about, and that Woody was in it. I didn’t even know it was based on a true story, and that it was set in Britain rather than America. So I was pleasantly surprised by just how damn good this is. It’s everything you want from a movie like this; it’s tense, it’s brilliantly made, and it’s paced well enough that you never get bored. It helps that the characters are believable. There’s not really a villain; there are just people who have to make REALLY tough choices.

I Don’t Get It

Nominees

Matt And Mara (RT Score: 87%)

I genuinely did not give a shit about these characters. Individually, they were fine, but when they were together, they became insufferable. To paraphrase (I’m not confident enough to state it’s a direct quote), It’s Always Sunny: this isn’t will-they/won’t-they. This is I know they won’t, and I hope they never do.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (RT Score: 77%)

Similar to what I’ll say about Toxic Avenger; too bleak, stopped caring. The fact that the victims were all terrible people does not absolve the movie. If anything, the “Yes, we killed these people, but trust us, they were horrid” approach is so transparent you wouldn’t dare use it as a bathroom door. It also means you cheer the serial killer. There’s no horror with the brutality; there’s celebration.

Toxic Avenger (RT Score: 87%)

I feel like the reasons people like this are the same reasons why I dislike it. The tone, the deliberate shoddiness, the needless ultraviolence, etc. It didn’t feel like some of the choices were for budgetary reasons, but more like they were designed to make it look like they were made for budgetary reasons. The cinematic equivalent of pre-torn clothes.

Urchin (RT Score: 96%

Imagine if Bojack Horseman had zero charm and no jokes. It was just a drug-addicted mess fucking everything up and blaming everybody else for it. How quickly would that get frustrating?

Winner

Nosferatu (RT Score: 85%)

Obviously, this was going to win. It was pretty much destined to win from the moment I saw it. I have almost zero positive recollections of this movie. Everything about it either frustrated me or bored me.

Well I Liked It

Nominees

M3gan 2.0 (RT Score: 57%)

That’s an insultingly low score. This is a flawed movie (I genuinely figured out the villain reveal and his motivations within a second of them being introduced), but it’s also a lot of fun. It’s tonally different from the first one, but also feels like a natural progression of the story.

Snow White (RT Score: 37%)

I am in no way saying this was a good movie. But the vitriol it received was far beyond what it deserves; you’d think this movie literally killed children. There’s no way that this deserves to receive as many Razzie nominations as War Of The Worlds, which was one of the worst films I’ve ever seen. Snow White is, at worst, mediocre.

Winner

The Roses (RT Score: 64%)

Nope, I refuse to accept that. I know a lot of people who have seen this, people with varying cinematic tastes and opinions, and they’ve all liked this. It’s hilarious, dark, and has one of the best endings I’ve seen in a long time. 67% is not a failure, but it’s still much lower than it deserves to be. That’s only 12% higher than Weekend At Bernies.

Worst Movie

Nominees

Everything here

Winner

War Of The Worlds

My fear is that I come off too negative. I don’t want that. I read a lot of wrestling reviews where it feels like they hate everything; they seem bitter and annoyed. I don’t want to be like that. I want my love of film to still come through; it’s why I prefer talking about films I love rather than ones I hate. When I left the cinema after watching Eternity, I messaged 5 different people telling them about it. War Of The Worlds? That’s the ONLY film I felt negatively enough that I told people about it unprompted. That’s how bad this movie is; it made me impolite. I’ve never seen a film as stupid, badly written, corporate shilling, and lazy as this. Everything about this is terrible.

Best Movie

Nominees

Everything here

Winner

If I’m being honest, it was always down to three films. A Real Pain, Sinners, and Eternity. Then, whilst going through the end-of-year roundups, I discounted A Real Pain. Don’t get me wrong, it’s incredible, but it’s clearly more flawed than the other two. So down to Sinners and Eternity. One of which has received more Oscar nominations than any film in history, one of which I’ve not even seen anybody mention. It’s incredibly close; it’s the first time I’ve considered co-winners. Then I remembered Five Nights At Freddy’s 2. Trust me, I am going somewhere with this. After leaving the cinema for that, I read that there was a mid-credits scene that’s incredibly important to the narrative. That annoyed me. If a scene is that important, it shouldn’t be mid-credits. But Sinners has that. So can I really give “Best Movie” to a film which does something I’ve criticised another film for?

Then I thought: fuck it, yes I can.

Winner – Sinners

It has one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen. A scene so good it almost made me rude. I said semi-loud “This is fucking cinema”. No film has had that effect on me, has felt as earth-shattering as this has. So it has to win. Fun fact: I genuinely still had Eternity winning until about 3 minutes ago.