Is This Thing On? (2025) Review

Thoughts going in: No matter what, the stand-up comedy of this should be good. That being said, the trailers have felt strangely lifeless and dull.

Quick Synopsis: Alex Novak is going through a divorce and is deeply traumatised. Instead of therapy, he tries stand-up comedy.

This should have been an early contender for best film of the year. I like films about stand-up, and I like deeply personal, intense dramas. As soon as I told someone I was about to watch this, they said it seems right up my street. Plus, I like Will Arnett; he has a talent for making reprehensible people likeable.

Which is why it’s so disappointing that I didn’t enjoy it. I think part of it is that he never really seems that good as a comedian. The reaction the other comedians give him doesn’t match the reaction he gets on stage. You could show the stand-up sections independently to someone and ask if the comedian succeeded or bombed; they’d be unable to tell. It’s supposed to be cathartic, but you never really get that sense. There’s no joyful release; it’s just abject misery and pain.

The reaction he gets is weird; he’s immediately embraced by his fellow comedians. I have spoken to comedians who do these kinds of gigs, it can be brutal. Everyone is trying to break out and get noticed; they’re not going to take pity on a newcomer like that. Also, I’m sure it was unintentional, but having a group of comedians who are all women or people of colour fawn over a middle-aged white guy is kind of strange, especially when one of the female comedians sleeps with him despite them having less chemistry than somebody who decided to only do physics and biology as their GCSE science options. There’s a scene where his wife accidentally attends a comedy night where he’s performing (by which I mean, she didn’t know he’d be performing, not that she fell over and ended up in a comedy club). The comedian this is based on (John Bishop) actually had this happen to him; he told a joke about how he misses his ex so much that he keeps her head in the fridge. That joke doesn’t appear here; in fact, I can’t even remember what it was he actually said. They slept together that night, despite the fact that she was at the comedy club on a date. There’s a way this could work; if his on-stage persona was confident and charming, if he was charismatic and owned the room, allowing her to see him in a new light. But he’s the same person as he is for the rest of the film, so why would she be into that? That might be my biggest issue; comedy doesn’t change his life. He doesn’t feel like a different person because of it; we see him writing jokes, etc., but his personality and demeanor doesn’t change through his experience. He doesn’t seem to gain confidence or happiness.

My other issue is that I didn’t want the two characters to end up back together. Their characters don’t suit each other. It feels like they’re constantly looking for excuses to be annoyed at the other one. Again, there is a way to do a film where a relationship ends, he finds a passion, and they end up back together. The best example I can think of is High Fidelity. Actually, now I think about it, there are a lot of similarities between the two. They’re both about a couple that split acrimoniously, he sleeps with someone in his professional field, and they end up together after discussing their flaws and expressing regret for how they treated each other. The key difference is that in High Fidelity, Rob seems genuinely remorseful of his previous actions; you can tell he genuinely loves Laura, and we see him happy sometimes.

None of this is on the performers, by the way; Laura Dern continues to be amazing. Will Arnett can do this role; he has proven it in Arrested Development and Bojack Horseman (vocally at least), but he’s REALLY let down by a script that refuses to let him be likeable. Amy Sedaris is a highlight in the few moments she’s onscreen. Bradley Cooper is also in this film.

Bradley Cooper’s direction is strange. It’s mostly close-ups. Sometimes that choice works, making you feel the stress that each character is going through. But then there are times where it makes ITTO feel more like you’ve been cornered at a party by a guy who’s way too drunk and won’t stop talking even though you’re clearly uncomfortable.

ITTO isn’t a terrible film, but it’s not a particularly likeable one either. As I said, it’s based on a true story, and you have to wonder how many of his friends would be deeply offended if they think some of the characters are based on them. If you want a movie about a couple that dislikes each other, watch The Roses. If you want a movie about how tragedy can affect stand-up comedy, watch The Big Sick. If you want Will Arnett to be a complete mess, watch Bojack Horseman. Basically, there are hundreds of better options, and I really wish that wasn’t the case. I went into this expecting to fall in love, but instead I felt like how the main characters at the start: despondent, and like love is a waste of time.

Shelter (2026) Review

Quick Synopsis: On a remote coastal island, a former assassin living in self-imposed exile rescues a young girl from a deadly storm. As their lives start to intertwine, he must protect the orphan while battling enemies from his past.

Thoughts Going In: Jason Statham is going to punch people. I have to be honest, the first time I saw this trailer, I thought it was a sequel to The Beekeeper, that’s how interchangeable his performances are.

Years ago, I was reading about a script for a Robin Hood movie that was focused on the sheriff of Nottingham. Essentially, he was going to be a CSI-style forensic investigator. That movie was made into the 2010 Robin Hood movie that was just another generic retelling. I can’t imagine a bigger gap between potential and reality than that. Shelter is a close second, though. No, the script was never going to be the best in the world, and you won’t be able to improve on some of the stupidity, but it nearly had a much better director. The original director was Baltasar Kormákur, who has previously directed 2022’s Beast, 2018’s Adrift, and 2015’s Everest. I’m not saying those films are masterpieces, but Kormákur is an award-winning director, so at the very least, he can be depended upon to be visually interesting. Shelter needs that. The action scenes are lacking any sense of excitement. Even the non-action scenes make use of an annoying handheld camera that makes it nauseating to watch. Most baffling is the use of music: there are some action scenes with no music at all. When I first noticed it, I wondered whether that was the film’s gimmick, an action movie with no non-diegetic audio. That would at least be interesting and unique. But then the action scene ended, and the characters got out of the car and started talking normally, and that was deemed music-worthy. What made the non-audio scene so notable was that it was a car chase across mostly rural roads. Have you heard a car chase without music? It’s just a long droning whine (a bit like a speech from [insert politician you don’t like here, even one who is famous for being an entertaining speaker]). It genuinely made me think it was a mistake; that they just forgot to put music on.

There are also issues with the script, mostly logistical. I’m not speaking about “A person high up in British intelligence wouldn’t kill an innocent person just for convenience”, because that would DEFINITELY happen. I mean, “they drove from Scotland to London without being caught on a single camera?” Or when a teenage girl is dragged kicking and screaming into a black van, and nobody seems to notice/care/film it for social media. Top tip: go over to the O2 Dome in London, when all the clubs are still open, and the streets are occupied but not bustling. Then fire a gun multiple times, see if anybody notices, because they don’t in this. For a group of highly trained secret agents, they are shit at being secret. I mean, the main villain shot someone in the head whilst they were surrounded by police. Did that get mentioned again? Nope. In fact, none of the police members who are attacked there are referenced ever again. You’d think there’d be something, some kind of news report at the very least. Is the general public aware of what’s happening? No idea, the film isn’t interested in telling us. It doesn’t even stick around at the end to tell us the repercussions of a former head of MI6 being killed in his own house. I suppose expecting closure for that is a bit much, considering the film states the Prime Minister is in political trouble due to illegal surveillance of civilians, and then is never seen again, and nothing happens to that system. The controversy is never mentioned again. It’s as if the script set up a lot of narrative dominoes, then got bored and wandered off before using them.

I’m not asking for this to be groundbreaking. I’m not asking for it to be an intelligent study on human nature. But I am asking it put effort in. For someone to look at the script and take out stuff it doesn’t need. For someone to think of the logic of some scenes. For someone to make it so that the action scenes are actually entertaining. Shelter had zero chance of being my favourite movie of the year, but there’s no excuse for it to be as lazy as it is. Bodhi Rae Breathnach is pretty damn good, though.

Again, it’s not that it’s a bad film. It’s that even as a first-time viewer, you’ve already seen it. You can guess the dialogue before it happens. There are 1000 movies just like this, so what’s the point of this one?

Mercy (2026) Review

Quick Synopsis: In a supposedly dystopian future, police officer Chris is on trial for the murder of his wife. He has to prove his innocence to an AI judge in 90 minutes, or he’ll be executed.

Thoughts Going In: This movie is going to be terrible. I’ve not seen a trailer for it; it was dumped in January, and it’s already rumoured to be a surefire bomb.

Films can be bad for different reasons. Sometimes it’s someone involved in it who is just not good at their job, sometimes it’s studio interference, and sometimes it’s just bad timing, and it’s released near something that’s clearly superior. Then you have films like Mercy, films which are so peculiar and flawed that it almost feels like a deliberate attempt to fail. I’m not too big a fan of Chris Pratt as a performer; he’s a good side character, but as the lead, his flaws are exposed, and you realise he is essentially playing the exact same character in every film. He’s not helped by the decision to have him spend most of the film locked in a room, tied to a chair and talking to a computer. You may think my problem would be the “locked in a room” or “talking to a computer” part. I have no issue with that. A guy trying to solve a crime while not being able to physically interact with anything is interesting. My problem is the “tied to a chair” part. If you do that with someone, you need them to have immense screen presence; you don’t need them to have the energy of someone who has just been asked to file a report at work 5 minutes before he’s due to leave. His being tied to a chair means there’s very little to praise in terms of visual dynamics. It’s him talking to a screen, yes, we see things on the screens, but the focus is still on a guy locked in a room ,whilst tied to a chair. He’s not allowed to pace around the room, break things in rage, hold his head in his hands; it essentially robs him of using body language. I’m not sure what the benefit of having him tied to the chair is. Could they not think of another execution method other than “sonic blast to the head”? Could they have not had the room itself kill them with a soundblast? If you want to lean into the computer aspect, have the room change into a 3D reconstruction of the crime scene, and then he can walk through that, have him haunted by the sights, cry at family mementos etc.

In terms of performance; Kali Reis continues to impress. It’s a shame that her performance in Catch The Fair One didn’t lead to the roles she deserves, but I hope if she continues to prove herself, those roles will come. Rebecca Ferguson is a definite highlight, Despite seeming for all intents and purposes, human, there’s something uncanny valley in her performance. Part of that is down to how her character is written. On the subject of characters, Chris is kind of an idiot. He knows he only has a short period of time to prove his innocence, he knows the system will investigate his history, yet he still lies to it. It would have been so much shorter if he admitted things straight up; if he told the system he was an alcoholic who relapsed. Yes, lying to the cops because you don’t trust them is a strategy. But when you’re a cop who’s trying to tell everyone this new AI judge is brilliant, you’d trust it.

A key thing to successful sci-fi is world-building. You need the universe created within to make sense and feel true. Obviously, this is the key to all movies, but sci-fi has it harder because it usually has to introduce its rules first. So how does Mercy fare? Not well. It cuts to occasional riots, but this never really feels like a futuristic LA with a huge crime problem; mainly because they’ve segretated most of the problem people into one area (the ethics of which are NEVER discussed). Outside of that, there doesn’t seem to be much day-to-day crime. The use of hover bikes is a nice touch, though. But they wouldn’t be needed if he was allowed to examine a VR version of the scene himself.

Every time I think of this movie, a new issue I had with the plot rears its head, which is strange as I’ve barely thought of it; I saw it, immediately forgot it until it came time to write this review. It doesn’t bring anything new or exciting to the table. The concept is full of possibilities. Possibilities which the film itself refuses to look at. The problem with AI deciding court cases is one of nuance and human nature; it’s not “if it’s controlled by the wrong people, it may go wrong”, it’s the system itself that is flawed. But Mercy has no interest in discussing that. It also isn’t interested in exploring the guilt he could (should) feel for being responsible for the execution of an innocent man. There’s no “The system I defend executed somebody when it shouldn’t have? Oh no, I caused this!” PTSD, which forces the film to discuss the ethics of this justice. It’s just “this guy died because of me? Ah well. Oooo, is that a sandwich?” Side note: When we see riots in this movie, the police tend to just leave them alone instead of teargassing them. And no children get shot in the face at point-blank range. So in some ways, the “dystopia” America in this movie’s 2029 is less traumatic than actual America in reality’s 2026

This could be great. It could be slick. It could be smart. It’s none of those things. It’s not even passable.

Primate (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: Monkey goes mad

Thoughts Going In: Could be dumb fun. Also, I went to grab lunch before this movie, intending to order a small cocktail, I instead ordered a pitcher, which I had to drink by myself in 10 minutes. So this entire review should be read under the knowledge that I was pretty drunk, and based on a conversation I had before the film started, I was trying to think of how Snickers could possibly be a euphemism for lesbianism. and Mars chocolate bars refer to men. No, I won’t provide context.

In 1971, Daniel Mann released the horror film Willard, about a man who befriends an army of killer rats. This was followed by a sequel the following year, called Ben. The theme song (called simply, Ben) for this film was performed by Michael Jackson, and is genuinely very sweet. The rabid chimpanzee in this movie? Ben. The lyrics are surprisingly apt for this film, which meant I couldn’t unhear the song every time they said his name.

So besides my own weird shit, how is Primate? It’s okay. As an early-year blood-filled popcorn horror, it’s good. It does what it needs to, and doesn’t overstay its welcome. There are moments where it’s a bit too dumb to be enjoyable. Characters state that rabies doesn’t exist in Hawaii, then doesn’t bother to provide an explanation as to how it does now. Some of the stupid decisions only happen so that the plot can advance, with multiple people doing things that nobody would do. I can’t tell you that much about the characterisation, because there didn’t really seem to be any. Characters don’t really develop, and only occasionally dip into their personality traits. When I write, I like to do a draft where I cover up the characters’ names, and see if I can tell who’s talking based solely on the dialogue; it’s mainly a test to see if each character has an individual voice rather than just me doing a narrative ventriloquist act. I struggle to think you’d be able to do that with this.

None of that is meant as an insult to the cast; all of whom do their job well. Most of them are relative unknowns, but you wouldn’t know that by the performances. I like that they actually cast a deaf actor in Troy Kotsur, a disappointingly high number of films wouldn’t.

Now onto the best part; the kills. This film is bloodier than the firstborn daughter of Henry VIII. Primate doesn’t shy away from not just the blood; but the pain. When characters get their jaws ripped off, it’s not quick and painless, you can tell they are suffering. I’m quickly beginning to like the work of Johannes Roberts. With this, and the two 47 Meters Down movies, he’s finding a niche as a talented creator of animal-based horror movies. I’m not saying he should be given billions to remake Jaws, but he’d be a decent choice if you wanted to remake The Swarm and make it actually good.

In summary: exactly what it needs to be, but never anything more.

Rental Family (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: Struggling to find purpose, an American actor lands an unusual gig with a Japanese agency to play stand-in roles for strangers. As he immerses himself in his clients’ worlds, he begins to form genuine bonds that blur the lines between performance and reality.

Thoughts Going In: None, it was a secret screening, and I assumed it would be Saipan.

If you think about this movie for more than a minute, it falls apart. Not just one or two moments. I mean, the entire premise falls apart. He’s in Japan because he received an acting job there years ago, so why would the Rental Family company hire him to pretend to be someone else for different families? They must know that at least one person will go “hang on, I’ve seen you on TV” and find him on IMDB, and thus find out his real name. Unsurprisingly, that does happen. Yes, it was just an advert (and a few TV shows), but if Barry Scott from the Cillit Bang adverts turned up at a pet shop in Cardiff, a few customers would notice. There are a few other issues I have with RF: the two subplots of him pretending to be a fan of a female performing duo and playing video games with a male shut-in just disappear. Would it have been too much of a stretch to have him take the shut-in to see the singers and have him befriend one of the women? So they have a genuine fan, and he has a reason to leave the house. There’s also another character who is clearly important to Phillip, yet is only in two scenes and really isn’t given enough to do. Overall, it’s a mess which doesn’t do enough to flesh out most of its characters.

So why did I like it so much? Even as deeply flawed as it is, it’s really hard to not feel charmed by it. There are two main relationships Phillip has as part of his job: one with retired actor Kikuo Hasegawa (Akira Emoto), and one with a schoolgirl called Mia (Shannon Mahina Gorman). With Kikuo, Phillip has to pretend to be a journalist making a profile of him. With Mia, he has to pretend to be her father who abandoned her, because the school that her mother wants her to attend is very old-fashioned and needs to believe Mia is part of a traditional family (again, not sure how this will work once she’s there and tells teachers her dad left again). Both allow him to display different sides of his personality and background. It is somewhat strange that they don’t overlap at all, but that’s maybe my brain being wired by too many episodes of Seinfeld, where two separate plots meeting at the end was one of their trademarks.

They’re both emotional as hell, and both end up as you’d expect them to. It’s really not a surprise that the old actor with dementia will die, and it’s also not a surprise that Mia will find out the truth. But if you go into a film like this expecting to be surprised, you have the wrong mindset. This isn’t a movie for plot twists and surprises; it’s a movie to sit back and watch, allow it to emotionally wrap itself around you in a comforting embrace. It’s not a film to challenge you; it just makes you happy, makes you sad, then makes you happy again. That’s not to say it’s stupid or simple. A lot is going on with the workers of the Rental Family company, but I wish that stuff were given more time, as some of it doesn’t really have enough time to land emotionally: Aiko’s arc, where she gradually gets tired of being yelled at and called a whore by random women because the husbands are too weak, feels like it could have been explored more. I would like to have seen more of Shinji, his boss, but I’m not sure how that could have been done without exposing his secret early.

In summary, flawed brilliance.

Hamnet (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: There once was a playwright called Will
Whose son became unfortunately ill
His death caused his family a shook
400 years later, a book
And many reviewers said it was brill

Thoughts Going In: This is going to be incredible and moving. I’d heard it was very good, so I was looking forward to it.

There are times when my viewpoints don’t align with those of most reviewers. This may be one of those times. At the time of writing, Hamnet has an 84 score on Metacritic, which means on average, reviewers see it as an 8.5 out of 10 (as opposed to RottenTomatoes, where it would mean 84% of reviewers have given it a 3/5 or more). Many reviews have described it as one of the best films of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it, but I’d be disappointed if this ended up among the best of the year. It’s emotional, perfectly acted, and looks beautiful. But it feels so hollow; two actors in search of a script. It feels like it spends most of its time just spinning its wheels, trying to think of a justification for itself before it reaches the end.

The end is superb, though. When Agnes realises the pain William is in and how he’s channelling it through his work, it’s incredibly powerful. The entire film is building towards this moment, and it doesn’t disappoint. It reminds you just how great an actor Paul Mescal is. For most of the film’s runtime, every scene belongs to Jessie Buckley, who owns every moment she’s in, but the ending is where Mescal shines.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t read the novel it’s based on. It seems like readers of it have appreciated the film a lot; whereas those who haven’t read it are a little more lukewarm. Or I just found it a bit too Oscar-bait, overly artsy at times, where I would have preferred it to be a bit simpler. There’s a high chance it was my expectations that ruined this; I expected Hamnet to die earlier, and for the film to be mostly about the aftermath of that. Nope, we spend most of the film building up the relationship between the characters; setting up the situation, etc., THEN he dies. I get that, it makes a lot of sense. It just wasn’t what I expected, and it’s not what I would have preferred. It feels somewhat cheap to criticise a movie just because it’s not what you personally would have liked, but in the end, isn’t that what all reviews are? If there were a movie called “All Daily Mail Journalists Should Be Shot In The Face”, and it was 90 minutes of justifying why everybody who works for, or even reads The Daily Mail should be shot in the face, I don’t think that paper would give it a positive review, no matter how well-written it is.

In summary; Hamnet is a superb film that’s expertly made and performed. It’s a film that will be studied and discussed for decades, and will rightfully win a lot of awards. It’s also a film that, for whatever reason, I didn’t connect with at all until the final scene. I left the film not knowing more about Shakespeare, and not feeling any closer to him or his work.

2025 In Film: Day 6 (The Thoroughly Okay)

A Complete Unknown
Ups: Good performances.
Sells the time period it’s set in.
Killer soundtrack
Good chemistry between the leads.
Downs: Incredibly unfocused script
Doesn’t really tell you much about who he was.
The narrative doesn’t build effectively to the end.
Best Performer: Scoot McNairy
Best Moment: The first performance of “The Times They Are A-Changin”
Worst Moment: Dylan and Sylvie’s final meeting. Lacks the emotion needed for it to work.
Opening: Dylan travels to see Woody Guthrie in a hospital. Therein lies the problem; it assumes you already know who Woody Guthrie is and why he’s a big deal.
Closing: Johnny Cash approves of Dylans’ actions at the festival. Pretty cool moment, but doesn’t feel like it really closes anything.
Best Line: It was the Newport Folk Festival then, Bob, and it still is the Newport *Folk* Festival! Not the teen dream, Brill Building, Top Forty British Invasion Festival — a *Folk* festival. Do you even remember folk music, Bob?
Original review here

Elio
Ups: Looks incredible.
Very sweet at times.
Some of the aliens are fantastic.
Downs: Underwritten side characters.
They can do better.
Best Performer: Yonas Kibreab
Best Moment: Olga investing.
Worst Moment: Elio showed the Communiverse. Mostly fine, but the backdrop looks a little fake and disconnected.
Opening: Elio is at a diner, hiding under a table as his Auntie tries to get him to eat. Establishes that his parents are dead (because it is still a Disney movie, so dead parents are a necessity), and how isolated he feels.
Closing: People rush out to see aliens. Very beautiful.
Best Line: Since the dawn of time, humans have gazed at the stars and wondered… are we alone? Voyager is our attempt to find out. This intrepid explorer is on a mission, traveling farther than any human has ever gone, to the distant reaches of the cosmos and beyond. Voyager will never see those who made it again. It will drift on, solitary and alone. But maybe one day, distant worlds will receive its message, and Voyager will complete its mission, proving we aren’t so alone after all.
Original review here

Fear Street: Prom Queen
Ups: Doesn’t skimp on the blood.
Era-appropriate.
I will ALWAYS love seeing Katherine Waterston in things.
Downs: It takes too long for certain characters to realise things.
Best Performer: Katherine Waterston
Best Moment: The prom massacre. Violent carnage.
Worst Moment: The dance-off. Feels out of character.
Opening: Narration of “everyone always said I’d either be dead or a killer by graduation, I guess they were right”, blood dripping off a crown, and cool synth music. Yup, sold.
Closing: Someone gets bludgeoned with a trophy. Nicely thematic way to end their life, and I liked that they didn’t die immediately. They collapse, there’s not that much blood, but you can tell by the way they’re speaking that their brain is fucked.
Original review here

Friendship
Ups: Delightfully awkward.
Allows performers to spread their wings.
Downs: The fact he’s recovering from illness doesn’t come up as much as it should.
It WILL be a difficult watch for some.
Ingrid Goes West did it better
Best Performer: Paul Rudd
Best Moment: He meets his neighbours friends. It does not go well.
Worst Moment: The “welcome back” party. Most of his reactions are stupid, but you can kind of understand them. Here? It’s a little harder.
Opening: An awkward help group.
Closing: A hostage wig disaster. Nope, not giving you more information or context.
Best Line: Look, we had a couple of really nice hangs, but I think it best that we go our separate ways. I don’t wish to continue this friendship at the moment.
Original review here

Here
Ups: Unique idea.
Stunning visuals.
Downs: You’re constantly looking for the next scene to start instead of living in the moment.
A lot of wasted time.
The story is trying too hard to move you
Best Performer: Tom Hanks.
Best Moment: The dementia reveal. It’s built up beautifully.
Worst Moment: The modern family. Mainly because it feels like a massive waste of time.
Opening: The house is built. Really its the only way it could open.
Closing: We see outside the house for the first time. Cute, and really the only way it could end. But ties into my theory that the concept was more important than the narrative.
Best Line: I put things off, and I kept putting them off. And I would say, “Oh, we’ll do it next year.” And then that next year would come, and I’d say, “Oh, next year, next year.” And…
Original review here

Saturday Night
Ups: Fascinating time piece.
From a technical perspective, it’s fascinating to see what goes into the making of a show.
Fun to see moments you recognise and get a glimpse at the build-up to them.
Downs: Assumes you know everything already.
Such a cluttered cast that many aren’t given time to shine.
Best Performer: Cory Michael Smith
Best Moment: The argument with the censor.
Worst Moment: Meeting Alan Zweibel. He is a big deal, and very important to SNL. But we’re not given a reason as to why. It assumes we already know, and that moment will be met with “yes! Finally!” like Freddy Mercury joining Queen.
Opening: Lorne arrives at the studio, showing a mix of nervousness and cockiness. Jumps into the plot very quickly, which I appreciate.
Closing: The show starts. Would have appreciated seeing the culmination of what we’ve been building towards. Even if it is just snippets.
Best Line: Art is but a measure of sacrifice and tears
Original review here

September 5
Ups: It’s always good to see people being really good at their job.
Interesting behind-the-scenes look at the event.
Downs: Feels like propaganda at times.
None of the characters feel haunted by their own choices.
Best Performer: John Magaro
Best Moment: The FANTASTIC rug pull at the end when the truth of what happened to the hostages is revealed.
Worst Moment: “Wait, are they watching this?” Because they don’t feel particularly troubled by it. They realise the hostage-takers are using the footage they’re shooting to keep abreast of developments, and at no point show guilt that they exacerbated the situation.
Opening: The crew is setting up for the day. Considering it’s about a specific day, you have to start at the beginning of that day. I’d have preferred a faux documentary to keep us up to date with the political landscape at the time. We’re thrown into it with no knowledge of what led to the events.
Closing: He’s told he did a good job. Despite alerting the attackers to the police plans, exposing their viewpoints to a worldwide audience, and providing false hope. But those ratings.
Best Line: “So I… I don’t know about the Israelis, but David Berger’s folks are in Ohio, so I’m pretty sure they’ll watch.”
“Then tell them not to watch it”
Mainly because it demonstrates their shitness.
Original review here

Shelby Oaks
Ups: Incredibly creepy.
Rife with lore, all the characters feel real, as does the world they live in.
Downs: Loses focus in the final third.
Not as interesting once it stops being found-footage.
Best Performer: Camille Sullivan.
Best Moment: The format switch. Genius.
Worst Moment: The final showdown in the house, feels too much like a Conjuring movie.
Opening: An explanation of Riley’s disappearance. Exactly how a story like this should begin.
Closing: The death of Riley. It’s a bit of a bummer that we spend so long looking for this character, only for her to die.
Original review here

Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere
Ups: Reminds you just how good Springsteen is.
An important look at men’s mental health issues.
The weird shit? That all happened.
Downs: Invents a character, seemingly just to make Springsteen look like a dick.
Seems to be deliberately avoiding a mass audience.
Avoids a lot of what you want to see.
Best Performer: Jeremy Allen White
Best Moment: When he plays at a local club. It really captures the energy of those smaller gigs.
Worst Moment: The end of his relationship with Faye. He does not come out of that looking good.
Opening: Bruce is on top of the world, which only fuels his anxieties about what to do next. Interesting move, to have him already be a big deal, skipping the usual biopic tropes.
Closing: A “what happened next”. Turns out, Springsteen became quite successful.
Original review here

The Ballad Of Wallis Island
Ups: Much more sedate than you’d think it would be.
Carey Mulligan is lovely.
Downs: The ending switch doesn’t seem as genuine as it could.
Ultimately, rather forgettable.
Best Performer: Tim Key
Best Moment: The peanut butter cup
Worst Moment: Michael chewing out Herb (not literally). Doesn’t seem like the kind of cruelness that character would do.
Opening: Herb arrives at an island, disappointed that there’s no harbour and he has to swim to shore.
Closing: He plays the gig, but for free. Very sweet. Also, very telling that for the song in the closing credits, he chooses his real name, not his recording name.
Best Line: “saying my own name isn’t name-dropping”
Original review here

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
Ups: Incredibly disturbing at times.
Some great performances.
Downs: Reveal isn’t set up as well as it could be.
Feels a bit pointless.
Doesn’t know what to do with its own revelations.
Best Performer: Maika Monroe
Best Moment: The villain reveal. Truly chilling.
Worst Moment: The lead-up to the baseball bat death could have been shortened by a second. Also, the sex scene felt a bit superfluous.
Opening: A very cinematic fire.
Closing: The daughter has copied Polly’s mannerisms.
Original review here

The Long Walk
Ups: Tense
The Barkovitch characterisation is intriguing.
Brutal and unforgiving.
Great performances
Downs: Could have done with more background into the world.
The central concept doesn’t ring true.
Best Performer: David Jonsson
Best Moment: Ray meets his mothers on the walk. Heartbreaking.
Worst Moment: When they walk up a hill. Mainly because it feels like a cheap way for the film to kill large groups of people.
Opening: Ray is being driven to the walk. Feels a bit of a shit move to make people so poor they’d risk death have to fund their own way to a random part of the country.
Closing: Peter keeps walking after killing the major. Makes sense, but feels a bit sudden.
Best Line: You walk as long as you can. But sometimes the body won’t listen. For some, your heart will stop. For others, your brain. And the blood will flow… suddenly. There’s one winner and no finish line.
Original review here

The Penguin Lessons
Ups: Very emotional.
Cute moments.
Political, but in a way that people might not notice.
Downs: We don’t really know that much about him before he gets the penguin. Which lessens the supposed impact.
Best Performer: Steve Coogan
Best Moment: When Tom meets the militant who “arrested” Sofia.
Worst Moment: The journey to Uruguay. Not a bad scene, but not necessary.
Opening: Tom arrives at his new school, and his shoes are immediately ruined by someone painting over revolutionary graffiti, accompanied by explosions in a nearby city centre.
Closing: We see real footage of the penguin swimming in the pool. Very sweet.
Best Line: I can handle when bad people are bad, but when good people do nothing (CHECK LATER)
Original review here

Time Travel Is Dangerous
Ups: Funny.
Likeable leads.
Depressingly accurate for those of us who have worked in secondhand shops.
Downs: Not that interesting when it goes away from the main characters
Sometimes forgets its own format.
Best Performer: Megan Stevenson
Best Moment: When Ruth becomes a teenager.
Worst Moment: The game. It’s not bad, but it feels like it should be better, with more historical injokes.
Opening: Sets up the story almost immediately. “So we brought it inside, then went to 1945”
Closing: A new inventors headquarters is open. We get to see some of the inventions talked about throughout the film, which would have had more of an impact if we haven’t already seen them. It then goes on, and we see they’ve used the dimension as storage space.
Original review here

Together
Ups: Creepy.
Looks fantastic.
Downs: Loses steam at parts
Characters don’t behave realistically.
Best Performer: Dave Franco
Best Moment: His declaration of love before he attempts suicide. It feels so damn real.
Worst Moment: When she refuses to test it by placing her hand near his. It’s one of those “this would instantly answer questions and stop momentum if she does it” moments, but it can’t give her a decent reason not to do it.
Opening: Flashlight searching in the woods. As in, searching with flashlights, not searching for them. Someone stumbles across two dogs fused together. I get what they were going for, but it looks kind of goofy.
Closing: They fuse together, pretty sure they put this in the trailer, kind of ruins it a bit.
Best Line: It’s called diazepam now! It works quicker if you snort it!
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Three (The Too Flawed)

A Minecraft Movie
Ups: Fans of the franchise will love it.
The cast are fully into it.
Some good music.
Downs: No appeal to those who aren’t fans of the video game.
Jack Black and Jason Momoa probably should have swapped roles.
Even for a kids movie; far too dumb.
Best Performer: Jason Momoa.
Best Moment: The minecart escape.
Worst Moment: The title drop, it’s far too dumb.
Opening: Steve wants to mine but can’t as is a child, he comes back as an adult. Overly long, plus I feel it would have made more sense if he first arrived in the other dimension as a child, would have explained how he became so good at building.
Closing: Everybody wins and is happy. The song they play isn’t as good as they think it is.
Best Line: Tell my story in song. Keep it metal, keep it heavy, with real instruments.
Original review here

Black Phone 2
Ups: Great music.
Unique visual style.
Downs: Doesn’t really feel like a natural progression.
Completely unnecessary.
Best Performer: Ethan Hawke
Best Moment: Gwen calls out Finn and her dad. Is the only time it feels more than a horror movie.
Worst Moment: The opening
Opening: A young girl makes a phone call. Doesn’t really look like the rest of the film. Does come back later and tie into the narrative, which is a plus. But isn’t something that will hook people in. Plus, the central performance isn’t great.
Closing: The kids bodies are found and are used to help defeat the grabber. Very similar to the first movie.
Best Line: Oh, Finney. You of all people know that “dead” is just a word.
Original review here

Bring Her Back
Ups: Intense.
Terrifying at times.
Downs: Characters act very dumb at times.
Veers from holding the audiences hand to pushing them into a dark room.
Logically muddled.
Best Performer: Sally Hawkins
Best Moment: Oliver eating a knife. Disturbing as hell.
Worst Moment: The death of Andy. Doesn’t feel earned, doesn’t add to the narrative, feels a bit cheap.
Opening: Incredibly creepy cult footage. Sets the tone well. But leaves questions that the movie refuses to answer.
Closing: Laura carries Cathy’s corpse into the pool and cradles it as the police arrive. The best way it could have ended. I did fear it was going to end with her winning.
Best Line: I’m going to drown you, love.
Original review here

Die My Love
Ups: The two central performances are pretty damn good at times.
More films need to be made about postnatal depression.
Downs: Difficult to figure out what is real at times.
Bad background characters.
Seems like it doesn’t want you to like the characters
Best Performer: Jennifer Lawrence
Best Moment: The build up to the initial sex scene. You genuinely believe they love each other.
Worst Moment: The wedding, none of them come out of it looking good.
Opening: They move into a house, then have sex. Slow-paced.
Closing: They start a fire in the forest, which was alluded to earlier in the film.
Best Line: A thing you love is suffering.
Original review here

Five Nights At Freddy’s 2
Ups: Expands the universe.
The marionette.
The animatronics are great.
The central relationship is still incredibly sweet.
Downs: Feels too neutered.
In debt to much better films.
Best Performer: Piper Rubio
Best Moment: Mike monitoring the animatronics’ movements. Very much in keeping with the original game.
Worst Moment: Vanessa’s hallucinations/nightmare. Not very effectively done.
Opening: The death of Charlotte. Really well done.
Closing: Vanessa has been possessed.
Best Line: It’s so easy to become blinded by ambition even with the best of intentions, you don’t see the devil sitting right beside you.
Original review here

Happy Gilmore 2
Ups: Some nice callbacks.
Believable universe.
Weirdly breaks with tradition by talking about how important tradition is.
Pays lovely tributes to those who have passed
Downs: Repetitive.
Feels very low stakes.
Happy Gilmore is kind of an asshole.
Nepotism. So much.
Too many flashbacks to the first movie, almost as if it doesn’t trust you to remember them.
Best Performer: Bad Bunny
Best Moment: The traditional golfers training. Funny and chaotic.
Worst Moment: Happy’s drunken golf with strangers. It’s an incredibly funny scene, and I loved the other characters. But the fact it kept cutting before the cursewords was weird and felt badly done.
Opening: VERY quick “how we got here”. I’m amazed how effective it was. On the downside, Adam Sandlers narration feels like it was delivered during his lunch break. He then kills his wife, but that’s probably for the best considering how he writes love interests.
Closing: The good guys win, the bad guys not only lose but are humiliated. There’s no other way it could have ended.
Best Line: You look like Freddy Krueger worked at a Starbucks.
Original review here

Him
Ups: Violent.
Intense.
Disturbing
Downs: A tonal mess.
Wastes potential.
Best Performer: Tyriq Wathers
Best Moment: Cam (probably) paralyzing someone. Lets you know the commitment needed.
Worst Moment: The party, too visually messy.
Opening: Young Cam watches Isaiah win a game but severely injure himself. Isaiah then comes back from injury and keeps winning at the same level. Wouldn’t it have been more satisfying narratively if that injury effected his career?
Closing: Mass cult murder. Brutal, and fun, but kind of silly.
Best Line: Transitions of power are never peaceful.
Original review here

I Know What You Did Last Summer
Ups: Some nice callbacks to the original.
Quite funny at times.
Downs: Feels dated
Some people won’t appreciate what it does with legacy characters.
Unlikeable characters.
Some embarrassing callbacks.
Best Performer: Sarah Pidgeon
Best Moment: The death of Wyatt.
Worst Moment: The death of Tyler. Doesn’t play into the killers motivations, either of them. One killer wants revenge on her friends, of which Tyler wasn’t one. The other one is annoyed at the town for having forgotten the murders, Tyler was one of the few people talking about the murders.
Opening: An engagement party. The dialogue meant I automatically hated two of the characters, they were insufferable.
Closing: One of the killers is still alive. This is revealed in casual dialogue. Far too casual. “wearing jeans to your wedding” casual. Tone-deaf.
Best Line: Nostalgia is overrated
Original review here

Roofman
Ups: Sweet at times.
Believable romance.
Leighs characterisation is consistent.
Downs: Should have been a Christmas movie.
Feels too desperate to paint him as a nice guy.
Best Performer: Kirsten Dunst.
Best Moment: When we reveal that Leigh set him up. It would have been too unrealistic to not have her do that.
Worst Moment: The pawn shop break-in. Not followed up on
Opening: Jeffrey needs money to provide for his kid (who he soon forgets about) because otherwise she won’t love him. He decides to steal shit.
Closing: Text saying what happened next. He attempted to escape prison.
Best Line: We both know doing things the right way is not your superpower.
Original review here

The Twits
Ups: Does have some genuinely funny lines and moments.
Margo Martindale and Johnny Vegas are good leads.
Important message.
Accurate representation of modern politics.
Downs: Who’s it for?
Unfocused, going from one plot point to the next without them feeling connected. Feels very episodic.
Not the greatest animation.
Best Performer: Character actress Margo Martindale.
Best Moment: A family coming to an orphanage to refuse taking in an orphan out of fear they’re contagious. Truly crosses the line in a way few films dare to.
Worst Moment: The mayor farting. Even for a kids movie, it’s dumb.
Opening: The framing device; the story is being told by two flies in Mr. Twits beard. We see The Twits have built a theme park. Despite being seen as miserable, they sing a happy song.
Closing: The twits don’t die. Shame.
Best Line: “One of the worst liquid hot dog meat floods in the nations history”
Original review here

The Woman In The Yard
Ups: Makes daylight scary.
Sets up its different narrative pieces well.
Good performances.
Unique.
Feels very grounded
Downs: COMPLETELY falls apart in the final third. Like, drops off a cliff.
Best Performer: Peyton Jackson
Best Moment: The first time we see the woman, it feels MADE for posters.
Worst Moment: The attic moments.
Opening: Ramona watches a video of her deceased husband. It’s weird she filmed that moment, but it’s very sweet, and sets up SOOO much very quickly. Sets up what their relationship was like, sets up that they’re having problems fixing problems in the home, even the way she’s watching it sets up that he’s dead. Genius.
Closing: She decides not to commit suicide, the camera shows a painting signed by Ramona, but backwards. Possibly hinting that she DID in fact, commit suicide. Yay, “your children will be better off if you died” is a totally fine message.
Best Line: Today’s the day.
Original review here

Until Dawn
Ups: Some decent kills.
Bloody.
Decent effects
Downs: Switches between overexplanations and being annoyingly vague.
Survival feels more luck-based than as a reward for smart choices.
No reason to exist.
Best Performer: Ella Rubin
Best Moment: The death of one of the monsters.
Worst Moment: The bathroom scene. Don’t get me wrong, it was enjoyable, it was bloody, and it was entertaining. But it also demonstrated how luck-based the whole premise was. For a game based around “your decisions have consequences”, it’s annoying how the choices have no impact. “Don’t drink water or you’ll explode” is not a lesson.
Opening: One of the characters gets murdered, they’re clearly annoyed at this.
Closing: A car pulls up to a snowy cabin. A clear reference to the game, I assume. It’s shot in such a way that it’s obvious it’s SOMETHING, so I can only assume it’s that. Incredibly unsubtle.
Best Line: Is anyone else growing new teeth?
Original review here

Song Sung Blue (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: Lightning and Thunder, a Milwaukee husband and wife Neil Diamond tribute act, experience soaring success and devastating heartbreak in their musical journey together.

Thoughts Going In: I am never going to be able to remember that title. I’m not sure how much I’m going to get from this film, as I really don’t give a shit about Neil Diamond, let alone an impersonator.

As you can guess from my thoughts going in, there was a high chance I wasn’t going to vibe with this film. I don’t actively hate Neil Diamond; I feel the same way about him as I do about the Sega Mega Drive. I recognise it’s a huge deal to a lot of people, but outside of one or two tiny things (Solitary Man and Sword Of Vermillion), I have had zero connection, and it’s too late for me to get one now. I hadn’t seen any trailers so I legit had no idea what to expect. So when the film starts with the main character in an alcoholics anonymous meeting, pulling out an acoustic guitar and starting to sing like a douche at a house party (only without Wonderwall), my expectations were lower than Shemika Campbell’s 2010 world-record-setting limbo (yes, I did research that).

Song Sung Blue is incredibly melodramatic, to the point where it’s almost comedic, even during some of the most serious moments. The main character is delusional and selfish to the point of narcissism; taking it as a personal offence when a group of bikers don’t like Neil Diamond songs, or when a promoter who exclusively books cover artists asks him to play cover songs. The central romance doesn’t feel natural; the audience has no desire to see the two together before they get together; it happens so quickly that we don’t really get a sense of who they are outside of the relationship.

All of that was a long way to say that this film pushes a lot of my “Not for me” buttons, so why did it charm me so? It’s a genuinely fascinating story to watch; comprised of moments which, if you saw in fiction, you’d dismiss as unrealistic or stupid, but it all genuinely happened. The side characters are mostly lovable, especially the two teens. I’d love to see Ella Anderson and King Princess together again; they have great chemistry with each other, which I’d like to see explored further. Hugh Jackman is fine; most of the issues I had were with his character, not the performance. Kate Hudson probably gives the best performance; her character suffers so much over the duration, and her performance is the only thing that sells it. It’s full of moments which are life-affirming and sweet, with a warmth that is missing from many modern films.

I alluded to it earlier, SSB is based on a true story; specifically, a documentary of the same title released in 2008. I haven’t seen the documentary, so I don’t know what was taken from it and what was changed (I’m guessing the home movies played a big part in the documentary), so I won’t be judging it based on that. It’s going to be weird to say, but I kind of hope that a lot of this was invented for the sake of this film, because if it’s not, then the lead character is kind of a dick. Especially after his wife loses her leg. She’s traumatised by it and is not shown an ounce of compassion or love by her husband. Would it be that hard to show him displaying kindness to her?

When it works, it really does work, though. The gig with Pearl Jam is the culmination of everything this film wants to be: charming, loving, funny, and life-affirming. There are many small moments throughout that are just like that, but that’s the best example of how powerful it can be when it tries. I wish it had more moments like that, but I appreciate that it would feel a little much after a while.

In summary, not a brilliant movie, but worth your time watching.

2025 In Film: Day One (The Awful)

Bride Hard
Ups: You can tell it was fun to make.
Downs: Some of the dialogue is too unsubtle.
Dull music.
Never makes the most of its premise.
Best Performer: Sherry Cola
Best Moment: I guess the kitchen fight, because its the closest this movie gets to what it is trying to be.
Worst Moment: The hovercraft chase looks particularly bad.
Opening: Montage of lead characters growing up and splitting when one of their families moves away, set to a sappy song. Then, “30 years later”, the two are part of a bachelorette group in Paris. I have a small problem; the labelling isn’t clear.
Closing: She sets off the denoator whilst catching flowers. The person whose house is blown up doesn’t seem to care.
Best Line: Is this normal for an American wedding?
Original review here

Havoc
Ups: Very energetic.
Downs: It looks weird. Hard to explain, but there’s a filter which means everything looks like a cutscene from a video game.
Kind of hard to care about anything that happens.
Best Performer: Tom Hardy
Best Moment: The kidnapping of Lawrence
Worst Moment: The inciting incident murder. Doesn’t feel “big” enough.
Opening: Tom Hardy delivers a voiceover over scenes of him stealing, murdering, and performing unlicensed burials at sea. A pretty weirdly shot car chase scene follows, can’t explain it, but it feels “off” somehow.
Closing: Patrick has been shot and will possibly die.
Best Line: You live in this world, you make choices. Choices you try to justify. For yourself, for your family. And for a while, it works. Until it doesn’t. Until you make a choice that renders everything worthless.
Original review here

In The Lost Lands
Ups: Unique.
Downs: Looks like a video game.
Overstuffed.
Characters turn on a whim.
Best Performer: Amara Okereke
Best Moment: The torture of villagers. Effective and personal.
Worst Moment: The train crash, it looks fake as shit.
Opening: Batista’s character walks up to the camera and gives a gritty version of “Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin”. This would have actually worked in the 1990s, but it now seems incredibly passe.
Closing: The two main characters who have spent the entire film working together decide to work together.
Best Line: The stronger the spirits, the weaker the senses.
Original review here

Keeper
Ups: Atmospheric
Tatiana Maslany
Downs: Meanders around.
Repeats itself a lot.
Some plot holes are vast enough to drive a truck through
Best Performer: Tatiana Maslany
Best Moment: The ending is satisfying.
Worst Moment: The cake. It isn’t impactful.
Opening: Quick scenes of women being murdered. Incredibly artsy.
Closing: Malcolm drowns in a jar of honey.
Best Line: This fork is going in your head one way or another. Might as well taste good.
Original review here

Kinda Pregnant
Ups: Amy Schumer and Urzila Carlson actually have really good chemistry and would make a great double act.
Some funny moments
Downs: It’s hard to like the characters
The premise is too dumb.
Most of the plot only happens because the characters are dicks.
Weirdly shot.
Best Performer: Urzila Carlson
Best Moment: The meet-cute. It’s believable and one of the few times she seems like a human.
Worst Moment: The break-up/threesome proposal with Dave. It feels incredibly fake. It would be like if you invited someone to your house on their birthday and all their friends were there, along with a birthday cake and a sign saying “Happy birthday”, but it wasn’t for their birthday, and you get annoyed at them for daring to think you were planning a birthday for them.
Opening: Two kids “playing mom”, well, pretending to be giving birth, with swearing. Weirdly short and feels like it’s there just because they know they can’t start the film with the next scene.
Closing: Public declaration of love involving a Zamboni and multiple vehicles being destroyed.
Best Line: “I will bite your fucking aorta”. Such a specific threat
Original review here

Matt And Mara
Ups: Some nice moments.
Nice to see low-budget movies get a release like this.
Downs: The characters don’t feel like friends.
They’re not that likeable.
Lack of cuteness
Best Performer: Deragh Campbell
Best Moment: The surly cafe owner.
Worst Moment: The car argument. Feels so forced.
Opening: A somewhat awkward meeting between the main characters.
Closing: Mara listens to music while holding her husband’s hand. She then puts a receipt in a book written by Matt.
Best Line: I’m letting my imagination reach the level of my stupidity, which makes it my reality
Original review here

Urchin
Ups: Some neat visual tricks.
There are moments where it shows you glimpses of how good it could be.
Downs: Unlikable lead.
Too episodic in nature.
Seems more focused on being visually interesting than being narratively compelling.
Best Performer: Frank Dillane. His performance is great, but his character is awful.
Best Moment: The karaoke bar. Three people singing an Atomic Kitten song should be skippable. But it’s incredibly sweet, and the way the three characters do it tells you so much about who they are.
Worst Moment: When he mugs the guy who tried to help him. Mainly because it’s too early on so colours your opinion of him. You spend the entire film knowing he’s a prick. If it delayed showing you that, it would have given us time to get some sympathy for him.
Opening: He wakes up, asks for money and is ignored. Interesting look in how hard that life is.
Closing: Arthouse weirdness. Probably killed himself.
Best Line: Each decision is yours.
Original review here

War Of The Worlds
Ups: Unique
Downs: Terrible CGI
Does this story really need updating?
Feels low-budget.
Product placement.
The world never FEELS in danger.
Too dumb
Best Performer: Henry Hunter Hill
Best Moment: The aliens crashing. Complete chaos, just enough to wake the audience up.
Worst Moment: The reveal of what the aliens are feeding on.
Opening: He logs on and opens up surveillance cameras. Let’s you know the gimmick quickly. Does include a fun moment where two people are talking about how “I think I’m being listened to” and is told to stop being paranoid. It’s interesting and intriguing. Then we see the freak weather, and it looks fake.
Closing: The aliens are defeated. Ice Cube refuses to spy on people anymore.
Best Line: I’m going to go with the tagline: “It’s worse than you think”. Almost like they were trying to warn us.
Original review here

Zero
Ups: Creative concept.
Makes the most of the location.
Downs: Terrible performers.
No style.
Dumb script.
Indecisive in terms of genre.
Best Performer: Moran Rosenblatt
Best Moment: The taking down of America. Depressingly relevant.
Worst Moment: The drug-taking scene makes it seem like the film is pausing.
Opening: Narration over a completely black screen. Did have to check if my HDMI cable was working properly. A guy is asleep on a packed bus in Senegal when someone puts a phone in his hand. He seems confused as to where he is.
Closing: The two characters stand in the ocean and accept their deaths. Kind of poignant. We then get the aftermath of the events; Senegal hates America, then a woman wakes up with a bomb strapped to her chest, but in Paris.
Best Line: “So where are you from?”
“I’m from that place that they signed the Declaration of Independence” Not the “best” line, but the most notable, because it’s terrible. Possibly the worst line I’ve seen all year. No person speaks like that.
Original review here