Tag: Pedro Pascal

Freaky Tales (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: An NBA star, a corrupt cop, a female rap duo, teenage punks, neo-Nazis and a debt collector embark on a collision course in 1987 Oakland.

I think this is the first anthology film I’ve reviewed. I have to be honest, it’s difficult to figure out how to review a film like this. Do I review each one individually, or take it as a whole? I’ve decided to try to do each segment in turn. If it were something like the VHS series, where there’s A LOT of segments, I’d do it as a whole (or just not watch it), but with only four segments? That seems doable. This will be more stream-of-consciousness than most of my reviews, so fair warning for that.

Strength In Numbers: The Gilman Strikes Back

Ah, this really made me wish we had a local music community. There’s so much togetherness displayed among the characters. Jack Champion has played the worst character in at least two movies (Avatar: The Way Of Water and Scream VI), but his performance in this shows that it was ALL due to bad writing. He is charming and sweet in this. I love Tina, though. Ji-Young Yoo is full of energy and repressed anger.

I appreciate that in an age where “don’t be a dick” is taken as “woke political correctness”, I appreciate how this segment (the entire film, in fact) is not subtle. This is not subtle, one character outright says “the rules don’t apply to nazis” when they discuss their “no hate” rule. But when we have politicians outwardly saying they want to put the unemployed in concentration camps, we can’t afford to be subtle. I have seen one person say that the portrayal of nazi’s in this segment made them “cartoonishly evil”, especially when they beat up someone on crutches. Got news for ya, that’s far from the worst thing Nazi’s did to people.

The fight itself is brutal. Doesn’t shy away from the blood and anger. It plays up some of it by making it slightly comic booky, but you are left in no doubt that these are real people (and nazi’s). The message here, “You can’t afford to be a pacifist if you’re being attacked”, is vital in 2025 (and yes, that is depressing). The relevance and importance of the message wouldn’t matter if the other components weren’t good. Obviously, the soundtrack is brilliant, with tracks from Operation Ivy and Black Flag suiting both the tone and the time. The visuals are pretty fun too, a standard conversation between the two characters is made visually interesting with animated overlays (very similar to Ninjababy, if you ever saw that). There’s some great stuff with aspect ratio too, with the frame pushing in at the start, making the whole thing seem like an 80’s VHS tape (that’s helped by the slight grain to the footage too). On the downside, the grainy nature of the visuals does make it difficult to see things at times. But I suppose it’s in a dark room, everybody is wearing black, so if you combine that with the 80’s filter, it’s difficult to see how it could be brighter without looking fake.

My other problem was a singular scene just before the chaos started. There’s a conversation between two punks outside when the nazi’s arrive, it feels stilted and is the only part that doesn’t feel real. If I were told “these two actors won a competition/are the crew”, I’d believe it.

Don’t Fight The Feeling

It’s certainly a choice that the nazi story was followed by a story about two black women. Just to showcase how shitty the 80s were, there wasn’t just racism, there was also sexism. Their race never drives the narrative, though, I suppose if it did, then it would have risked repeating the lessons from the first section.

It’s not just the themes; tonally, this is completely different. That’s what you want from a film like this. You want to showcase the diverse group of characters, and it’s no point doing that if every section feels the same. There are connecting themes and settings, but they’re not even in the same genre or sharing a visual technique. The soundtrack is also completely different, with this section taking on more of a hip-hop slant.

It’s not as satisfying an end, though. They defeat a battle rapper who only hired them to humiliate them. His rhymes are hateful and sexist as fuck, and he deserves to be beaten. But, you don’t get the feeling that he’s learned his lesson. He’s still going to be misogynistic as fuck, just not to these two particular women.

Born To Mack

After the youth-oriented previous chapters, it’s a surprise that the opening of this consists of Tom Hanks and Pedro Pascal. I knew Pedro was in this, genuinely had no idea Tom Hanks was. Explains all the references to the previous segments made to him.

There’s a “but you’re the owner, you’ve always been the owner” spooky fake-out was brilliant and I loved it. This is a much more deliberate and slower story than the previous two. It’s strange, it has the most story, more happens (and it’s certainly the only one so far that you could imagine becoming a feature on its own), but it somehow feels like it stagnates more. In the previous sections, not much happened, but it happened quickly. If the previous two were sprints, this is a marathon. It’s not quite as entertaining, but ot is much more fascinating.

The Legend Of Sleepy Floyd

And we’re back with the nazi cunts (fuck off). This is an excellent culmination of everything we’ve seen. The sci-fi undertones become more obvious, with the references to telekinesis finally becoming meaningful. This is how the final section of an anthology should be; the previous scenes all crashing together in a magnificently meaningful coda.

I can see why people would hate this movie. I found it oddly charming. The opening leads you to think that the science-fiction elements may be more prevalent than they actually are, but that’s a minor issue. If you take it with no expectations, it’s a collection of stories which you’ll love to watch.

2024 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

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A side note to this entry. I originally had Fly Me To The Moon here, but then I thought about it and added it to this list instead. Yup. The differences are SO small once we get this high that something can be easily knocked down two spaces based on a single flaw.

Babes
Ups: Funny.
Honest
Downs: Some scenes feel a little lazy and like they’re a first-draft.
Best Performer: Ilana Glazer
Best Moment: The meet-cute. From a writing perspective, it’s iconic and inspirational.
Worst Moment: The “bitch” scene. The way it’s filmed makes it seem like the two performers are in separate rooms recording their lines.
Opening: “THIS FILM IS SET IN NEW YORK” montage opening
Closing: She takes her child to the movie the kid’s dad was in before he died. Very sweet.
Best Line: “Best friends are screwed over as adults. If you don’t couple up you’re fucked”.
Original review here

Gladiator 2
Ups: Every character makes sense and is well-defined.
Looks fantastic.
Brutal deaths.
Fight and action scenes look like they hurt.
Downs: Is it necessary?
The historical inaccuracies will make your head hurt. It’s not just “this happened 10 years after”. Some weaponry wouldn’t exist for over 1000 years after the movie’s events. For similar timescales; imagine a film about William The Conquerer, where the invading Norman army drives Ford Fiestas. Think of how “well that’s bullshit” that would seem. Similarly; there was no way for the safe transportation of sharks to be used in the arena.
Best Performer: Pedro Pascal
Best Moment: The Naumachia, at least until the sharks turn up.
Worst Moment: Him being shown the armour etc of Maximus feels a little shoe-horned.
Opening: A beautiful opening credit sequence that looks like it’s been painted.
Closing: A new emperor is crowned.
Best Line: What does my past matter, when my future is only to die as a gladiator?
Original review here

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person
Ups: Cracking title.
Very sweet.
When the music is good, it’s very good.
Downs: The above point about the music? Doesn’t happen enough.
Bland background characters.
It doesn’t establish the universe well enough. This is such a big problem because if it sorted that out, this would be in the next blog.
Best Performer: Sara Montpetit
Best Moment: Sasha and Paul listening to music together. Incredibly awkward and sweet. The way the characters move says so much without a word of dialogue. Paul’s revenge is also up there.
Worst Moment: Sasha breaks free from Henry in the park, hitting them. Feels weak, as if the hits have no weight to them.
Opening: It’s Sasha’s birthday, As a present, her family invited a clown over for dinner, as the main course.
Closing: Paul becomes a vampire and the two form a euthanasia team at the local hospital, draining people on their deathbeds. There’s then a scene of the two walking in the corridor, which wasn’t needed.
Best Line: I wouldn’t kill anyone other than myself.
Original review here

I Saw The TV Glow
Ups: The music.
The general feeling.
Some great performances.
Weirdly hypnotic
For someone out there questioning their gender identity, this will be THE most important film they’ve ever seen.
Excellent lighting.
Downs: It’s definitely too slow and weird for a lot of people.
Needs a clearer narrative.
Justice Smith isn’t quite confident enough to pull some of these moments off.
Best Performer: Brigette Lunday-Paine
Best Moment: Maddy explains how they buried themselves.
Worst Moment: When he’s at the cinema with a film playing behind him, mainly because whilst the Pink Opaque TV show feels real, the film does not, at all.
Opening: Some weird neon chalk drawings on a road at night. Very cool looking, it doesn’t feel like a horror movie, which I love as it helps everything feel real.
Closing: Owen breaks down at a party. Pretty damn creepy, especially since nobody reacts, they just kind of shut down like robots. He goes into a room and cuts his chest open, smiling when he finds TV static. Then goes back to work and apologises. There are a lot of different interpretations of this, which is good.
Best Line: It feels like someone… took a shovel and dug out all my insides. And I know there’s nothing in there, but I’m still too nervous to open myself up and check. I know there’s something wrong with me. My parents know it too, even if they don’t say anything.
Original review here

Juror #2
Ups: Tense.
Some great performances.
Interesting story. The kind you can tell someone and they go “Oh, I’d like to see that”
Will inspire discussion.
Downs: Bland visuals.
It wastes SOO much time.
Completely screwed over by the distributors.
It’s disheartening how believable it is.
Characters disappear.
Best Performer: Nicholas Holt.
Best Moment: Justins’ car journey, is depressing.
Worst Moment: Harold getting kicked off the case, mainly because you think it would lead somewhere.
Opening: Kind of bland opening. Hasn’t been that long but I can’t even remember it.
Closing: The assistant DA knocks on Justins’ door, so I’m assuming he gets arrested.
Best Line: We’re only as sick as our secrets.
Original review here

Late Night With The Devil
Ups: Chilling.
A lot of subtext.
Good performances.
Downs: Some wasted time.
The backstage moments completely break the immersion.
Doesn’t lead into the concept as much as it could.
Best Performer: David Dastmalchian.
Best Moment: The third-act carnage.
Worst Moment: The opening.
Opening: A documentary is investigating the events. Well not really investigating, just playing the show in full. Could have got away with cutting away from it for some sort of modern analysis etc, make it feel more like a documentary. As it is, the opening is just set up, and it all sets up stuff we would be told later anyway.
Closing: Lots of flashbacks and self-analysis. The closest a film has come to the Firefly Funhouse Match, but more normal.
Best Line: We go WAY back. We met amongst the tall trees… remember?
Original review here

Moana 2
Ups: Beautiful visuals.
New characters slot in perfectly.
Funny.
Downs: Unfocused, especially in regards to the villains.
Some of the dialogue is cringy.
The music is nowhere near as good as the first one.
Best Performer: Auli’i Cravalho
Best Moment: Assembling the crew. Always a super easy way to make a film entertaining as it allows quick jokes and character development.
Worst Moment: The death of Moana. Nobody in the audience buys it, and it’s over far too soon.
Opening: Moana has continued her adventures. Doesn’t feel like there’s been too much that has happened between the two movies. Which kind of makes it seem like the first one didn’t matter.
Closing: The island is connected to the world. Depending on how the third one goes, this is a genuine game-changer.
Best Line: “You look like a kidney stone”
“And you look like someone who would know what that is”
Original review here

Mothers’ Instinct
Ups: Some great shots.
Constantly keeps you on edge.
Downs: Doesn’t need a second watch.
Difficult to love.
Does nothing new.
Best Performer: Anne Hathaway
Best Moment: When Celine kills her husband. Slow, methodical, and brutal.
Worst Moment: The birthday party seems too cruel.
Opening: White women curtain twitching. If you know nothing going in, I’m not sure it would be as good. Knowing that it’s a thriller means you’re on edge throughout the opening, expecting something terrible to happen, instead, it’s a surprise party.
Closing: Celine adopts Theo after killing his parents. Chilling closing. Could have done a fake-out where she’s in court and made it look like she had been caught before revealing it’s for custody.
Best Line: Not really a line, but Hathaway’s scream is spine-chilling.
Original review here

Wicked Little Letters
Ups: Funny and sweary.
Olivia Colman is a delight
Fantastic chemistry between the cast.
Downs: Misleading trailer.
The “mystery” is pretty obvious.
Best Performer: Jessie Buckley
Best Moment: How they reveal the villain. Fun, caper-esque, and so damn charming.
Worst Moment: The death of Victoria feels a little misguided tonally.
Opening: Sweary letters are sent. It’s clear from reactions it’s been happening for a while. It sets up the repressed characters well and gets some good laughs in.
Closing: Standard “what happened next” reminds you that this stuff really happened.
Best Line: “It’s German”
Original review here

Gladiator II (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: After his home is conquered by the tyrannical emperors who now lead Rome, Lucius is forced to enter the Colosseum and must look to his past to find strength to return the glory of Rome to its people.

Some films are successful financially, some critically, some are successful in terms of their influence on pop culture and some are on my list of favourites of the year. A film rarely manages to hit all the targets. Gladiator 2 manages it. Two of those are assumptions, but they’re fairly safe ones. I wasn’t that big a fan of Ridley Scotts’ last two films (Napoleon and The Last Duel, as reviewed here and here) but Gladiator 2: Electric Boogaloo is a great example of what he can do.

The performances are all great. Surprisingly, Matt Lucas is in it. He’s only in it for around 3 minutes but evidently, that was enough for him to be named in the opening credits, which elicited a noticeable “wait, what the f*ck?” reaction in the screening I was in. Derek Jacobi seems to be in it only to make a connection with the first movie. Pedro Pascal continues to be incredible. Paul Mescal is at times brilliant, but there are a few moments where he feels too much like a character from Skins. He is genuinely one of my favourite performers so I love that he’s getting trusted to lead films like this. Denzel Washington is damn superb, injecting his character of Macrinus with a sense of dangerous playfulness.

Gladiator 2: More Lions is helped by how well-defined the characters are. Here are the characters:

A young man with a claim to the throne who is a skilled fighter, showing no mercy to those he defeats and is on a one-person mission to kill.

A general who has become jaded with the constant wars he is sent to fight in, he plans to overthrow the bloodthirsty emperors so he doesn’t have to keep watching young men die in needless wars.

A former slave with ambitions of governance and a strong sense of what is right.

A ruler thrust into a position he is ill-suited for. Since a young age, he has suffered cognitive erosion in his brain. His own brother/co-ruler clearly pities and doesn’t respect him, with his only friend being a pet monkey.

Let’s say you didn’t know this was a Gladiator movie, if you read those character synopsis, would you know FOR CERTAIN which ones are heroes and villains? That’s the beauty of Gladiator 2: Citizens On Patrol. Every character is clearly the hero of their own story. They’re all incredibly believable as real people, which really helps the story because it means character motivations are easier to gauge, they don’t need to say out loud “No, this revelation has now made me sad and reconsider my feelings on the matter”.

Gladiator 2: The Second Story also looks GREAT, sometimes. There are no shots which you would print and hang on your wall, but the battles and fights all look REAL. When characters get shot by an arrow, it doesn’t feel like an action movie, it feels like reality. Even the deaths of unnamed characters are injected with the shock and fear that they would have in reality. The Naumachia is a masterpiece of combat cinema in terms of staging and tenseness. You get the feeling that the characters who survive don’t do so because they’re special or talented, but because they were lucky. The deaths are also VERY brutal, with stabbings galore. Oddly enough, the “smallest” blade death felt the most painful. Probably because it involved a needle going into someone’s ear and that instantly sets me off. Some people will criticise it for historical inaccuracy, but lets be honest, nobody is studying this as a piece of historical truth. There’s an unspoken understanding that this is entirely fictional, but possibly featuring real people. But that doesn’t mean it can’t teach us history. You can’t use it for facts and dates, but it does do a pretty good job of showing what life could be like on a day-to-day basis.The idea that someone could rise from slave to emperor was not only an ideal, it happened. So in some ways, it was more advanced and egalitarian than modern society. But in other ways, they still had slaves, so fuck ’em.

On the downside, some of the visuals look fake as shit. There’s one near the end which is particularly awful in terms of realness. The other downside is some of the characters feel like they only exist to die. There’s a character we meet in the opening scene who, from the second you see them, you know they’re going to be killed.

Whilst I’m talking about the opening; the opening credits take place over a series of watercolour painting recreations of the first movie. A stunningly beautiful way of doing it, and very unique.

It’s when it does stuff like this that Gladiator 2: Back 2 Da Hood is strongest. When it’s unique, showing its creative flourish. It’s when it does what every other film does that it’s at its weakest. When you feel you’ve seen this before. When it foreshadows a bit too obviously.

These are minor quips though. Still a damn fine movie and well worth checking out at the cinema. I mean, what else are you going to do, spend time in the wonderful grey and bleak weather of winter? Nope, go to a cinema, buy a hot chocolate, and stay warm watching what I’m sure will become a classic movie.

The Wild Robot (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Roz (short for ROZZUM unit 7134, nothing to do with Peri Gilpin’s character from Frasier) is a helper robot with nobody to help after the cargo ship delivering her crashed into an island. After being rejected by the local wildlife she finds herself as the de facto mother of Brightbill, the lone surviving gosling (of the non-Ryan variety) of a Roz-related accident which killed off his entire family.

I very rarely go to see kids’ films at the cinema, especially not ones without what I would deem an appropriate “in”. I think it’s perfectly acceptable for an adult to go see a Pixar film, for example, but there are some for which it would be a bit weird to see a lone adult male in the screening. As such, I don’t often see trailers for those films. This meant I didn’t really know what The Wild Robot (TWR: pronounced Too-war) was about. I knew the title, and I knew it was supposed to be above average. But the story? Not a clue. The actors? No idea. The animation style? Nope. I didn’t even know if it was American, Japanese, English, French, or even from the Anconine Republic (although if you googled that country you’d be sceptical about whether an animated film would be released in 2024 that was made in that country).

The opening is “shot” from a weird fish-eye POV, so I was slightly worried that the whole thing would be like that, thankfully it’s not. I still didn’t entirely vibe with the animation style though. It’s incredible sometimes, with things moving with a beautiful fluidity and realness. But then there are times when the animals (the fox voiced by Pedro Pascal is the clearest example) almost seem TOO fluid like they’re made from watercolour paintings. On their own, that’s fine, but alongside the backgrounds, it’s jarring from a visual perspective. Mostly, the visuals are superb though. The world looks real, trees have imperfections, grass sways in the wind, and the sky is awe-inspiring in terms of colours (especially in the closing third).

I have a few nitpicks with the story itself. Some story beats move unnaturally quickly, and characters trust each other too quickly, to the point it seems like it’s setting some of them up for third-act heel turns. It doesn’t feel like a singular narrative at times, there’s no sense of the world flowing towards the natural conclusion. Instead, it feels like the story is being told by a kid who has joined an improv group “This happens. Then this happens, and then this happens”.

That’s a very mild criticism though, TWR is an incredibly easy film to fall in love with. Kids will (hopefully) love it, and there’s enough in there to keep parents entertained without resorting to the cliche Shrek-style “penis jokes that will go over the heads of children”. There’s no sense of cynicism or misery to TWR, it’s an experience which fills you with hope. The performances are all pitch-perfect, but it’s still weird to hear Matt Berry in a kids’ film as you keep expecting him to call someone an arsehole. Catherine O’Hara continues to be a delight. Stephanie Hsu is good, but criminally underutilized. Lupita Nyong’o is the true heart, and her performance beats beautifully. Kit Connor is pretty great too, but really it’s a showcase for Nyongo’s vocal work. She provides a good mix of humanity and confused AI.

At the start of the year, I looked at what was due out and had mentally already placed Paddington In Peru as the winner for “best kids film”, partly based on knowing that Inside Out 2 was going to hit adults MUCH harder than it would kids. For most of the year, the marmalade magnificence still had no competition, but now with both Transformers One and The Wild Robot? Paddington is going to have its work cut out, especially with the recasting issues. TWR isn’t just good, it’s magical.

2022 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Belfast

Ups: Does a great job of putting you in the shoes of someone living in that time.

Incredibly personal.

Great performances.

Very funny at times.

Downs: Unless you have knowledge of history, specifically the “why”, you could be lost in regards to character motivation.

Has Van Morrison on the soundtrack. I knew it would be busy so did a COVID test before going to the cinema to see this, and for the next few days after. All that for a film with a fucking anti-vaxxer on the soundtrack

Some people might not like that it’s mostly in black and white. (although I love the moments when it’s not)

Best Moment: His mum dragging him back to a shop in the middle of a riot to make him return something he looted.

Best Performer: Jude Hill. But I did like Lara McDonnell too.

Opening: Sets the scene perfectly. The overhead shots of the are wouldn’t be missed if they weren’t there. Although the transition between colour and black and white, present and past, is visually glorious and I love it.

Closing: “for the ones who stayed, for the ones who left, and for all the ones who were lost.” over a colour scene of the area. Beautiful, poignant, powerful.

Best line: The Irish were born for leavin’, otherwise the rest of the world’d have no pubs

Original Review here

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Ups: Handles a delicate situation perfectly.

Very emotional.

Some great performances.

Sets up the future well.

Downs: Too many moments which don’t go anywhere.

Waste of potential moments.

Best Moment: The attack on the ship. Was like something from a horror movie.

Worst Moment: The final fight. Only because it involves people wearing blue, fighting blue people, against a sky blue background.

Best Performer: Angela Basset. Easily.

Opening: T’Challa dies. Really it’s the only way they could have opened it, they had to address it, so it’s brave they did it immediately.

Closing: T’Challa had a son. Bit of a predictable ending, lets it down.

Best Line: Ramonda’s whole speech in the UN.

Original Review here

Clerks 3

Ups: When it hits hard, it hits VERY hard.

Funny.

Nice to see these characters again.

Downs: It’s strange to say but this is trying to hard to be a comedy. It’s so scared to be serious.

Takes a bit too long to get to the actual story

Best Moment: Dante’s rage. It’s the only scene with no laughs and it’s the best part by a long way.

Feels like these characters only exist in the movies, they don’t exist when the cameras not on them.

Worst Moment: Kevin Smith narrating over the credits, explaining what happened to the characters afterwards. Feels incredibly lazy and last minute.

Best Performer: Jeff Anderson. O’Halloran is close, but Anderson takes it.

Opening: Starts with Welcome To The Black Parade, always a good start. Feels weirdly out of tone with the visuals though. The visuals are low-fi, and Black Parade isn’t exactly low-fi. Kind of weird , feels like it’s just playing over and they’re completely separate.

Closing: One of the characters dies. Heartbreaking, I wish the film was more of this and less “typical Smith”

Best Line: “i wish I had a life worth fucking saving”

Original Review here

Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness

Ups: Scarlet Witch is a truly sociopathic villain

The closest the MCU has got to a horror movie.

Damn fine special effects.

A decent third act.

Some incredibly inventive action set pieces.

Downs: Offscreen inertia is definitely in effect. There are times where it feels like the characters must be just standing around twiddling their thumbs when the camera is not on them

Should be a 15.

If Scarlet Witch is redeemed it will be a complete waste of her potential.

Best Moment: The Illuminati scene.

Worst Moment: The final scene. Easily.

Best Performer: Xochitl Gomez.

Opening: America Chavez and an alternate version of Strange being chased by a demon, then Strange tries to save the universe by killing Chavez. Good choice of opening, introduces America, shows off the visuals, sets up the multiverse, and shows that stakes are high.

Closing: Strange is walking down the street and is suddenly in pain, developing a third eye. Awful closing. Just leaves a “wait, what?” feeling.

Best Line: “What mouth?”

Original Review here

Lightyear

Ups: Emotional.

Deals with very heavy subjects in a way that’s easily understandable.

Fun.

Good characters.

Downs: Doesn’t feel 90’s enough.

Still not entirely sure why it exists.

Best Moment: The montage of failure.

Worst Moment: The twist about the villain. Doesn’t feel earned.

Best Performer: Taika Waititi. A lot of fun.

Opening: “In 1995, a boy named Andy got a Buzz Lightyear toy for his birthday. It was from his favourite movie. This is that movie”. Setting up the general concept very quickly.

Closing: You know how this ends, from the second this film starts, you know how it ends, come on now.

Best Line: “That was utterly terrifying and I regret having joined you.” That’s also what I say after any social activity

Original Review here

Olga

Ups: The gymnastics themselves are astounding.

Beautiful shots.

Made astounding by current circumstances.

Downs: Made depressing by those same circumstances.

Some side characters feel inconsequential

Best Moment: When Olga has to give up her Ukrainian passport and get a Swiss one. It does a tremendous job of selling her guilt at giving up her national identity.

Worst Moment: One or two of the scenes halt the momentum.

Best Performer: Anastasia Budiashkina. Easily.

Original Review here

On The Count Of Three

Ups: Directed very well, especially for a first-time director.

Incredibly funny but also not.

Good performances.

Downs: The ending third felt like it didn’t belong in the same universe.

Best Moment: Character has a meeting with his boss, then calmly walks into a toilet cubicle and attempts to hang himself. No music. All takes place in real time. Meanwhile a guy walks in and pees in a urinal while singing cheerfully, not knowing about the potential unaliving happening in the same room. It’s bleak and horrifying, plus weirdly funny.

Worst Moment: The very last scene. Dialogue-free, only for a few seconds. But I felt it kind of detracted away from the story. I get why it was done, but could have been a better way of doing it.

Best Performer: Christopher Abbott.

Opening: The two characters pointing guns at each other, ready to fire in a suicide pact, gunfire, cut to black. Great opening, gets you immediately invested, and in that short moment you get their love for each other. You get personality, you get motives, you get relationship with each other. Crams so much.

Closing: A suicide. It’s obvious. It’s one of those films where it all feels inevitable. It’s beautifully written. The other guy is in prison. That coda wasn’t really necessary it felt like. Would have been a stronger ending if it did just cut to black with the gunshot.

Best Line: “Do you know that I have been going to doctors since I was 8 years old in foster care. And most of them had private practices by the way they weren’t this state-employed bullshit. And if any of you guys knew how to help me by now you would have fucking done it. Why the fuck are you guys so obsessed with keeping everyone alive anyway? You think all life is precious? All life? If you lived in my head for one minute you realise it fucking isn’t”. The sheer outpouring of emotion and helplessness.

Original Review here

The Black Phone

Ups: Very creepy at times.

Original concept.

Downs: The Grabber isn’t built up enough by the town. You never get the feeling this is a town in fear.

Serious issues with pacing.

Best Moment: The final fight. Very narratively satisfying to see all the knowledge come together.

Worst Moment: The brother of The Grabber realising the truth. His actions don’t really ring true.

Best Performer: Ethan Hawke.

Opening: Standard “meet doomed character” horror opening. Quite weak, especially compared to how creepy the opening credits are.

Closing: Finn sits next to his crush and says hi. Only works because of the age of the characters, if they were older that would be a slightly pathetic closing. As it is, kind of sweet.

Best Line: “Yeah I took him down cause obviously I’m the grabber you dumb f’ing fartknockers” Great line delivery

Original Review here

The Justice Of Bunny King

Ups: When characters do stupid things, they usually make sense because of how well they’re written.

Heartbreakingly true.

Downs: Overwrriten towards the end.

Best Moment: Being shown around the house.

Worst Moment: Her holding someone hostage feels a bit out of tone at the time.

Best Performer: Essie Davis

Opening: Characters washing cars in the rain to the tune of what I always assume is an Alanis Morrisette song. She then goes and helps someone who is having trouble with social services. Says a lot about her character and situation. Very quickly establishes her.

Closing: A phone call with her kids. She knew she’s screwed up, and she knows she’s made it a lot worse. The kids don’t seem phased though. Which makes it worse. They’re too young. Their innocence comes off as apathy and you can tell she’s doomed. Then the police shoot her. It’s really the only way it could end. It’s emotionally devastating but narratively satisfying. It also says a lot about her character that when she’s being loaded into the back of the ambulance she points out the windows are disgusting

Best Line: “why are you talking to her like that?” After a social worker speaks to the character’s disabled child like she’s an idiot.

Original Review here

The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent

Ups: The most Nicholas Cage move that exists.

Cage and Pascal have great comedic chemistry.

It’s weird.

Downs: Pedro Pascal is too big a name to not play himself.

JCVD is much better.

Best Moment: The wall scene. Yes it was in the trailer, but it’s so silly.

Worst Moment: The two Cage’s bit could go weirder. Weirder than them kissing each other.

Best Performer: Pedro Pascal. He should do more comedy. Okay, he did also do The Bubble this year, but is it really a comedy if nobody finds it funny?

Opening: Someone gets kidnapped, coincidentally whilst watching a Nicholas Cage film. There was room to be more creative here but they didn’t take it. I’m glad they didn’t do the “fight scene opening, but turns out to be a scene in a movie”

Closing: A film based on the events on this film has been released. Cute.

Best Line: The line of coke Nicholas Cage presumably done before shooting this.

Original Review here

Thor: Love And Thunder

Ups: Works as a standalone.

Rescues Jane Foster as a character.

Love is a great character

A lot of very good scenes, and some real creative visuals.

Downs: Tonal issues.

Occasionally goes a bit too silly.

Feels like a lot of wasted potential of some stories.

Best Moment: The montage of Thor and Foster falling out of love. Works as a mini-film on its own.

Worst Moment: Everything with the goats.

Best Performer: India Hemsworth. Not in it much, but owns every scene she’s in.

Opening: Thor is fighting with the Guardians, and ruining everything. Funny, but does make the rest of the Guardians feel a bit weak. Plus, do they just not care about looking for Gamora now?

Closing: Foster dies, Love lives with Thor. Bit weird, he hasn’t expressed much desire to be a father before. Sweet though. But I still can’t shake how out of nowhere it feels.

Best Line: “Once we bring the children back, we shall feast! Not on them. We don’t do that any more. That is a dark part of our history”

Original Review here

Three Thousand Years Of Longing

Ups: Phenomenal visuals.

Interesting stories.

Downs: Really loses steam in the third act.

The romance feels rushed.

Sub plots aren’t picked up on.

Best Moment: That trailer. That got you hyped up for it like a good trailer should.

Worst Moment: When you realise it’s a box office bomb.

Best Performer: Idris Elba

Opening: Alithea goes to Istanbul and suffers hallucinations. The hallucinations are kind of a weak point for the film. But it does have some interesting visuals.

Closing: The Djinn visit Alithea and says he’ll check in every few years. Kind of sweet, but they never really felt like a couple so it’s a bit weird he has this connection with her.

Best Line: Love is a gift. It’s a gift of oneself given freely. It’s not something one can ever ask for.

Original Review here

Umma

Ups: A great opening credits sequence.

Shows that the director is meant for great things.

A haunting look at family trauma

Everyone feels like real people.

Downs: Some jump scares are a little corny.

Best Moment: Really clever scare involving a face under a sheet. Really creative.

Worst Moment: There’s a moment where the main characters mother attacks from the grave, using clothes. It looks a bit hokey and silly.

Best Performer: Sandra Oh

Opening: The sound of knocking and someone asking their mother to open a door. The daughter apologising, the mother rejects her apologies and we hear electric noises and screaming. Good start, suitably creepy.

Closing: The daughter goes off to college, showing she’s being allowed an independent life. Yes, it’s cliche, but really it’s the only way this narrative could end.

Best Line: Look, I know you think people think you’re weird, and I’m not gonna lie, you are. But, no, you think being weird is a bad thing, you think you’re the only one. But you know what? You’re not. There are tons of other weirdos out there, cool interesting people like you. You just have to out into the world and find them.

Original Review here

Violent Night

Ups: Very bloody.

Clever allusions to Home Alone

Deeply cynical whilst also heartwarming.

Downs: A bit longer than it needs to be.

Could go deeper with the satire.

Best Moment: The reveal of Santa’s past.

Worst Moment: The villain’s motive is a little meh.

Best Performer: Leah Brady is incredibly adorable and likeable. I’d also like to point out Mitra Suri, but that’s for different reasons.

Opening: Santa is drunk. Seen this kind of thing before, but the fact it’s actually Santa does mean we can get a scene of him drunkenly vomiting from up high.

Closing: The reindeers come back, with gifts. Little bit plot convenient that they happened to miss the whole thing.

Best Line: Now, I know you’re an idiot, but don’t be an idiot out loud.

Original Review here

We’re All Going To The Worlds Fair

Ups: Some great make-up. Best demonstrated when someone puts his fingers under loose skin in his arm and starts pulling out tickets. Incredibly creepy and weird and disgusting.

Reminds me of Gone Home, and I’ll always appreciate thinking of that game.

The scene where she paints her face and tears her stuffed toy apart is weirdly creepy.

Weirdly hypnotic.

Both the lead performer, and the writer/director, are clearly meant for bigger things.

Downs: Definitely too slow and weird for a lot of people.

Needs a clearer narrative.

Best Moment: The message she gets with the image of her face distorted. It’s so simple but it’s expertly done.

Worst Moment: The ending where it changes focus. Bit of a narrative miss-step.

Best Performer: Anna Cobb

Opening: Casey sitting in her room on her own, eating (I think) cheesestrings before introducing herself and saying she’s going to take the “Worlds Fair Challenge”. Good use of silence as it makes you lean in and pay attention. But it goes on a bit too long. Especially since she stops, changes the lights, and then starts recording again and continues talking to the camera. Which consists of her saying “I want to go to the worlds fair” into the camera, smearing blood on the computer, then sitting in strobe lights. The opening credits, much more effective, just a series of shots of the local area in ruin. Not “apocalpyse” ruins, economic ruins. Shops are closed down and boarded up. This plays alongside a great piece of music which may well be one of the best original compositions of the year in terms of made movie soundtracks (although the one for Olga was close)

Closing: She has (possibly) met up with JLB. There’s a strange ambiguity to it that could leave an audience frustrated. It’s all done from JLB’s perspective. It reminds me of the opening, in a bad way. That sense of “nothing is happening”.

Best Line: I swear, someday soon, I am just gonna disappear, and you won’t have any idea what happened to me.

Original Review here

The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent (2022)

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick synopsis: Unfulfilled and facing financial ruin, actor Nick Cage accepts a $1 million offer to attend a wealthy fan’s birthday party. Sadly this fan turns out to possibly be a drug lord, so the CIA get Cage to spy on the person for them.

Let’s face it, someone like Cage is perfect for this film. He’s not so much as an actor, as he is a living meme at this point. Capable of greatness, or being terrible. You never see a Cage performance and think “he was alright, nothing special”. He’s one of those people who you could hear any story about and believe. “hey, I heard Nicholas Cage slapped a Rhino with a sea bass” “yeah, that seems like something he’d do”.

So a film in which he plays himself, who gets roped into doing an investigation into a suspected drug lord? Perfect. The result? Well it’s not perfect, it is very, very good. It has a lot of laugh-out-loud moments, but just not consistently enough to consider it great. Also, there are too many issues which stop it from reaching the next level. What issues? Well I’m glad you asked, and your hair looks great by the way.

Well firstly, a big issue is that this has been done before. An action star who is having family trouble, being caught up in a crime? If you want to see how that’s done, watch JCVD, that’s a superb movie featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme giving (genuinely) one of the best performances you’ll ever see. The other issue is that ONLY Cage is playing himself. I’m okay with Sharon Horgan playing his wife, and there are other similar performances. Put Neil Patrick Harris is too big a name to just play Cage’s agent. When I first saw the trailer I assumed he was playing himself too, and he knew about the wealthy person who liked Cage because he’s been invited to his parties too. But nope, he’s just his agent. I feel it would have made more sense to have it as himself though, would have set Pedro Pascal’s character up as the kind of eccentric rich guy who pays celebrities to hang out with him. I kind of have a similar issue with Pascal, who is definitely too big a name to not known. But overall I’m more okay with that, because he is so much fun in this. He doesn’t normally do comedy, but he should, he has a talent for it, and him and Cage bounce off each other wonderfully.

The other downside? This could go further, it features moments where Cage is interacting with a younger version of himself. It’s a bit weird, happens enough that it is notable, but doesn’t happen enough to make you comfortable. I mean, it’s Cage, this has room to go a lot weirder, and it’s weird how refrained it is. I also have an issue with the fact that the guy we thought was good, turns out to have been good all along, and the actual villain is a guy we’ve seen only once or twice in the film, and then very fleeting.

I know this sounds negative, but I have had to be very nit-picky to make those points. Overall it’s a very fun watch. I’m glad I saw it, and probably will see it again if it’s on streaming services, or I find it cheap at a boot fair or charity shop. As I said before, it is very funny, even if some of those laughs have been ruined in the trailer. The plot makes sense, even when people make stupid decisions, you can understand the logic. It also has actual characters with their own personalities and motivations. This means that when the film aims to be emotional, it actually works.

So yeah, if you get a chance, go see it. But don’t rush out RIGHT NOW. Treat it like a deer, approach slowly and realise you may not see it.