2024 Film Awards: Day Five (The Moments)

Best Opening

Nominees

American Fiction – Monk talks to a white student

Sums up this film; funny, smart, and sets a fire of fury that it is determined to stoke. Once you witness this scene, you know EXACTLY what film you will watch.

Gladiator 2 – Painted

The usual “quick summary” montage, but done so it looks like it’s been painted. Visually striking, and very beautiful.

Malum – Creepy Creepiness

Police notice saying this is footage from the event. REALLY helps you buy in. Then creepy handheld footage. Well, some of it is creepy (weird chairs etc), and some is so mundane that it becomes creepy. Yes, it feels cheap, but its effective. Then, it transitions into modern times, where you assume the person we meet is our hero. Nope.

Monster – What Is With Minato?

Minato is displaying odd behaviour that is consistent with abuse. When you watch it, it’s good, when you remember it later and understand the full context, it’s great.

Sometimes I Think About Dying – Opening Credits

Look, I just appreciate that they used a different font for the opening credits. Most films don’t, and it shows that the people who made this actually gave a shit about setting tone in every way possible.

Twisters – The Danger Of Wind

Twisters introduces a group of lovable, dynamic characters. Then kills most of them off. I liked it. It was unexpected, plus it showed how dangerous tornados can be, so it set them up as a threat. It’s like when slasher movies start with the killer stabbing someone; establish them as a threat early on so the fear of them lingers over the narrative.

Winner

The Substance – Fading Star

A Walk Of Fame star being constructed and then neglected. The “look at how the world ignores this star until it cracks under pressure” double meaning isn’t exactly subtle. But it looks gorgeous.

Worst Opening

Nominees

Late Night With The Devil – The Explanation

A documentary is investigating the events. Well not really investigating, just playing the show in full. Could have got away with cutting away from it for some sort of modern analysis etc, make it feel more like a documentary. As it is, the opening is just set up, and it all sets up stuff we would be told later anyway.

My Spy: The Eternal City – Dream Sequence

Never open an action movie with a dream sequence. It sets expectations of what the character can do that then can’t be matched. You need to establish what the character is capable of, his strengths, his weaknesses etc. You can’t do that in a dream sequence. A complete waste of time and characterisation.

Winner

Garfield – Animated Movie Opening #12

Garfield starts with happy music. Thus establishing that the studio REALLY don’t understand the character at all. It would be like starting the next Bond movie at a B&B in Clacton. They did this purely because other animated films start the same way, it’s inappropriate for the character, and shows they didn’t really care about making a good movie.

Best Ending

Nominees

Deadpool And Wolverine – Time Of Your Life

A cute montage of the previous Marvel-but-not-MCU movies. With the exception of the X-Men movies, those have been kind of forgotten so it’s nice to see them get some love. It also feels like a love letter to those that paved the way.

I Saw The TV Glow – Owen Breaks Down

The creepiest part of this was that nobody reacted. They all took a mental breakdown as something normal that you shouldn’t concern yourself with. I had some issues with the performance of Smith at some points during Glow, but in this part? He nailed that. The helplessness, the sadness, the sheer terror. Perfection.

Winner

The Iron Claw – Kevin Cries

That’s it. His sons tell him it’s okay to cry. A simple message, but one that is sadly needed. Usually, catharsis in film comes from violence or revenge. It’s kind of sweet to see one come from emotional release.

Worst Ending

Nominees

The First Omen – What Happened To Baby Dame?

The antichrist has been delivered to new parents, and has been named Damian. I mean, we KNEW this would happen. Out of everything that happened in this movie, that was the only thing we did know. It’s been established in the first movie. So what was the point of this? It would be like doing a film about Henry VIII and ending it with “and that man grew up to be king” with dramatic music.

Unfrosted – Where Are They Now?

Purely because of the music choice, which feels like a royalty free song. Considering the cast, this must have had a budget. They used a David Bowie song in the trailer, could they have not stretched to something iconic for the closing?

Winner

Joker: Folie A Deux – Faux-ker

So it turns out the main character of the two Joker movies wasn’t actually the Joker. I’m one of the few people who actually likes the Mandarin twist from Iron Man 3. But if that movie was called “The Mandarin” and he was the main character, I’d be less pleased. I’ve never seen a movie that holds its own audience in contempt as much as this does.

Best Moment

Babes – The Meetcute

Much like Frozen Empire (spoilers for later), Babes needs to make it clear how quickly these characters bond. Especially since the male character dies soon after. Meetcutes can be difficult to pull off, and I haven’t seen it done as masterfully as it was done here in a while.

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire – Melody And Phoebe

The two characters bond over chess. So incredibly sweet. If this scene wasn’t good, then the plot would fall apart as you wouldn’t buy that Phoebe would be so reckless for someone she only just met. Sometimes you do meet people and instantly click though. The way this is written, and the way it’s performed, make you believe that this is one of those times.

Sometimes I Think About Dying – The Murder Party

The audience knows what Fran is like, but it’s the party where the rest of the characters begin to find out Frans personality. She really opens up to them, and it’s the first glimpse we get of what she’d be like as a friend; funny, warm-hearted, and with a dark sense of humour.

The Beast – Louis The Incel Dickbag

This is almost entirely due to performance. George Mackay gets everything right here. You get his anger, his frustration, but also his sadness. He’s not someone to hate, he’s someone to be pitied. You don’t feel sorry for him because of how hate-filled he is. But you don’t really fear him because of how pathetic he comes across.

The Iron Claw – The Afterlife

Considering this is a true story, it could have been considered a mistake to have a dream-like scene in it. It might have made it seem a bit silly. IF it wasn’t done as well as it was here. Many manly tears were shed at this moment. It’s absolutely beautiful, and the person it’s based on approves.

Transformers One – The Start Of Darkness

This is a very good scene on paper. But with the performance? It’s excellent. You truly understand why Megatron and Optimus Prime think the way they do. It’s not contrived or silly, it’s heartbreaking to realise these two characters are headed down dark paths, and they’ll be doing it alone.

Winner

Civil War – The Body Pit

THIS. This was the moment that nearly made me walk out of the cinema because of how bleak it was. I’ve seen similar scenes before (in the same year, in fact), but none of them have hit as hard as this one did. It’s so good that it made me un-nominate a similar scene in Lee, because it would have been weird to have two very similar scenes in one award section.

Worst Moment

Nominees

Venom: The Last Dance – Multi-Symbiote Fight

Not because it’s a bad scene, but because it hints at a much better movie. If the script focused more on setting this up, and had “there’s multiple symbiote attached to characters we’ve grown to care about”, it could have been incredible. As it is? It feels like wasted potential.

The Whip – Here’s Our Plan

The main character explains her plan to her friend. “So where were you thinking of sneaking into?”, then gestures to the houses of parliament. My issue with this was the staging. They were walking over a bridge heading AWAY from the place they were talking about. They would have already walked towards it, walked past it, and walked away from it to set that scene up. It’s more infuriating because the next scene takes place on a bench, they could have done the whole scene from that instead.

Kraven The Hunter – Worst line ever

“She died after that, and I never saw her again”. I don’t think I need to explain why that line is terrible.

The Watched/Watchers – The Entire Third Act

The way it’s written, and the way it’s shot and scored etc leads you to believe the film is about to end. Everything about the scene says it will, then it continues for another 20 or so minutes. 20 minutes which don’t really add anything. The very definition of “and another thing”. I know this was based on a book, but there was a better way of setting it up than they did here.

Trap – Well That’s Just Bad Blocking

I want to say “every moment Saleka is onscreen” but I’m going to get very specific. There’s a shot near the end where Josh’s character is sitting down and talking, and there’s a HUGE corner of the screen being blocked off by an overhanging cupboard. In terms of shot composition, it’s hard to find anything worse in a seasoned directors work. It makes it look like he’s just poking his head around

Winner

Twisters – Near vehicular manslaughter

It feels unfair to put this in the “worst moment” section, let alone have them win it, because there are worse moments. But none negatively affected its movie as much as this one did. One of the first times we see a character, his recklessness and selfishness almost killed the main character by running her off the road. I found it REALLY difficult to like him after that. I didn’t find him charming, I found him annoying because I knew what he was capable of, the kind of person who would throw knives at you “as a joke”, the kind of prick who’d mock your recently dead family members “for the bantz”. Delete that moment, and I’d have liked him. But that few seconds? Nope.

2024 In Film: Day Four (The Could Be Better)

Bad Boys: Ride Or Die
Ups: Some creative shots.
Fitting continuation of the story.
Downs: Too many scenes exist just to exist.
The villain reveal is too obvious.
Best Performer: Will Smith
Best Moment: Reggie killing everybody.
Worst Moment: The Tiffany Haddish scene. I like her as a performer, but her entire section was unnecessary, if it was cut out it wouldn’t be missed.
Opening: There’s a wedding, and then Marcus has a heart attack. Some good visuals and sets up the characters’ relationship well.
Closing: Mike and Marcus argue about who gets to cook on a grill. They then insult Reggie before remembering what he did earlier. It takes the two characters WAY too long to remember.
Best Line: Y’all are some terrible fucking fugitives.
Original review here

Drive-Away Dolls
Ups: Some nice visuals.
Unique.
So very horny.
Downs: Unfocused.
Characters are unsympathetic too often.
Best Performer: Geraldine Viswanathan.
Best Moment: The fall of the Senator. Gloriously cathartic, and gives a reason to some of the plot points.
Worst Moment: The small flashbacks. Don’t match the tone of the rest.
Opening: A man is killed carrying a briefcase of dildos. You don’t find out what the briefcase contains until later.
Closing: The two leads drive off to get married. Kind of sweet. But I felt like them meeting up with the Aunt would matter more, like she’d have an effect on the plot. Or at the very least say something surprising/funny to end the film.
Best Line: I’ve had it with love. I know bards and troubadours are high on it, but I don’t believe it’s relevant to the modern 20th soon to be 21st century lesbian.
Original review here

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
Ups: Actually has space to breathe so the action impresses you.
Nice colours.
Hemsworth is clearly having a lot of fun.
Downs: Some of the effects are a bit weak.
Nothing makes it stand out.
Not that memorable.
Best Performer: Hemsworth.
Best Moment: When Dementus captures Furiosa’s mother. Harrowing.
Worst Moment: There’s an action scene near the end with really flat visuals
Opening: Weirdly calm talking about destruction and society ending. It’s pretty harrowing, but there’s not much urgency about it.
Closing: Hemsworth has a tree growing out of him.
Best Line: Where are you going, so full of hope? THERE IS NO HOPE!
Original review here

Malum
Ups: Some pretty damn good music.
Downs: Bad dialogue.
Some pretty bad editing.
Best Performer: Jessica Sula.
Best Moment: The cult staring her down, chilling.
Worst Moment: The interviews, mainly because whilst they are creepy, but there’s a way to make them creepier.
Opening: Police notice saying this is footage from the event. REALLY helps you buy in. Then creepy handheld footage. Well, some of it is creepy (weird chairs etc), and some is so mundane that it becomes creepy. Yes, it feels cheap, but its effective. Then, it transitions into modern times, where you assume the person we meet is our hero. Nope.
Closing: The plan worked
Best Line: “She don’t even look like people anymore”
Original review here

Never Let Go
Ups: Anchored by some great performances.
Some very creative visuals.
Original
Downs: Disappointing script.
Trips over itself trying to confound expectations.
Needed to focus on the survivalism aspect more, as those are the most interesting moments.
Best Performer: Berry, obviously.
Best Moment: The suicide. Horrible to see.
Worst Moment: How “the evil” is defeated, bit weak.
Opening: Simple world-building. Effective.
Closing: The monsters were real, society collapsing wasn’t.
Best Line: One touch without a rope on, is all it takes.
Original review here

Sting
Ups: Some pretty brutal moments.
Pretty damn impressive characterisation.
Downs: Wastes time.
Not the best lit.
Weird music choices
The winter aspect doesn’t really come into it as much as it could.
Best Performer: Part of me says Alyla Browne, but Ryan Corr just edges it out due to the emotional complexity.
Best Moment: When the mother tells the step dad how much he means to her daughter. Odd to put a piece of character work instead of a horror/action set-piece, but it’s really sweet. The fact its then followed by someone screaming when they find the skinless corpse of a bird says a lot.
Worst Moment: The exterminator’s reaction to the dead bird “looks like it had sex with a blender”. Feels too “written”.
Opening: An old woman knits whilst watching tv, then hears scuttling in her walls. It does a pretty good job of setting up her current state of mind, with her needing notes on the walls to tell her her name and address. The exterminator arrives and is killed. The set-up? Brilliant. The death itself? Weak. As an opening, it’s okay, but it does take longer than it should to get to the credits, especially for such a short movie.
Closing: The spider is dead, but it lay eggs. Sequel!
Best Line: “my dad is awesome”
“is that why he never visits?”
Cutting.
Original review here

The Beekeeper
Ups: Some interesting fight scenes.
Could be a useful tool to teach people about phishing scams.
Downs: Stathams accent.
Some of the worst dialogue ever committed to film.
Best Performer: Josh Hutcherson. Utterly despicable.
Best Moment: The original call centre being burned down. Deliciously cathartic.
Worst Moment: The aftermath of the suicide. Mainly because of how bad the dialogue is.
Opening: Quick unsubtle introduction to the relationship between Clay and Eloise.
Closing: Parker points a gun at Clay then lets him scuba away. Kind of disappointed it ended so quickly, not because I wanted more of the film, but because the implications of the events of the film are never given enough time to be explored.
Best Line: “Madame President”
Original review here

The Zone Of Interest
Ups: Harrowing.
A fascinating look at the psychological tricks ordinary people needed to use to survive that time.
Downs: Bit dull.
Meanders at times.
Could teach more.
A bit more clarification could have been helpful.
Personally, did nothing for me compared to similar films.
Best Performer: Christian Friedel.
Best Moment: When Hoss notices human remains in the river his family play in. The first crack in his armour.
Worst Moment: The random girl hiding food. Doesn’t really add too much.
Opening: Can’t remember it exactly, but I remember it did do a good job of setting up the idea that this was just a normal day to them. The soundtrack of screaming was just something they put up with during their gardening.
Closing: Janitors clean up the museum which stands on the site. Good to know that it pushes the idea that his ideas failed and are now (kind of) condemned to history. That his legacy was one of cruelness and inhumanity. Might have worked better with people on a tour.
Best Line: I wasn’t really paying attention… I was too busy thinking how I would gas everyone in the room.
Original review here

Venom: The Last Dance
Ups: Sweet at times.
Shows glimpses of brilliance.
Downs: Too often it hints at concepts which would have made a much better movie.
Never feels like a finale.
Some of the coincidences are far too convenient.
Krull is underused
Best Performer: Tom Hardy
Best Moment: The Space Oddity scene.
Worst Moment: The fight between the many symbiote, because it hints at what would have been a MUCH better film.
Opening: Eddie Brock is getting drunk. Essentially, what we saw in the last Spider-Man movie. The multiverse aspect NEVER comes up. Sooooo, why?
Closing: Venom is dead but the symbiote lives on. Reports that Sony celebrated this movie by having a cake and eating it were made up by me.
Best Line: I’m so done with the multiverse shit.
Original review here

Malum (2023) Review

Quick Synopsis: A rookie police officer takes the last shift at the decommissioned police station where her father worked and killed himself/others. Turns out the hauntings from her past are very literal.

Going to start this review off with something that may be important; Malum is a remake of the 2014 film Last Shift, also directed by Anthony DiBlasi. No I have not watched Last Shift, so I can’t talk about the differences and improvements between the two. I don’t know what DiBlasi changed, what he added, or if it was just a “I have better technology now” situation. I do occasionally put some research into my reviews (I think I put more research into my review for Antlers than the writers of the movie did), but watching an entire film is a bit much. I will say the title is better though. Last Shift is kind of bland and could be any genre, Malum (latin for evil), is definitely a horror movie title.

Now onto Malum itself. I feel I’d like this more if I watched it years ago. Horror movies are a lot like comedy movies, the first time you see something happen in a movie it can be shocking and brilliant, but if every film you watch starts doing that same thing, it can quickly become tiresome, so by the time you see the tenth movie pulling the same tricks, you feel a lot more negatively towards it than you did the first one. This doesn’t mean the tenth film is worse than the first one, but I will give it a negative review because I’m just tired of seeing certain things. Now this isn’t a fault of the movie, I watch a lot of films, so I am exposed to more repetition, reiterations and retellings than most people. With that in mind, Malum does a lot of shit I’m quite frankly just tired of seeing the same old shit in a lot of horror films. I am bored of hallucination horror. Mainly because it always feels like such a fucking cop-out. “oooo spooky stuff, but is it real? we don’t know, and neither will you”. Far too many films are pulling the same tricks, which would be okay if that wasn’t the only way they had scares. I have a limit on how many times I can see the “character witnesses something horrific, but then its not there, did they dream it?” trick pulled in a movie. Pull it off towards the end or at the start, but far too many films have that as the only trick in its arsenal. Specifically, I could do with a 5 year ban on any “Person kills what they think is an evil thing but turns out they were hallucinating and it was actually a relative/friend” scenes in horror movies.

As I said, if I watched this earlier I’d feel much more warmly towards it. There is a fair bit to like about it; the cult aspects are fascinatingly creepy, and the use of practical effects is to be welcomed. I kind of wanted more from the cult. There are two movies; one is about a demonic cult that sacrifices people and who are planning a night of carnage focused on the daughter of an officer who went after them. It’s a very human story, and the idea of her being trapped in a locked building as they try to hunt her is terrifying, especially since her colleagues refuse to help her because of what her dad did (great opening by the way, the scene where her dad shoots Not Jodie Foster is genuinely shocking). It’s simple, but it’s effective. But the other movie is paranormal, where the cult’s tricks work, and they have demonic powers which cause her to hallucinate/control her. And that’s not as effective, as once you see it happen once, you assume that’s the case with every scare. So even at the end where she’s gravely injured after having killed someone, there’s a part of you that assumes it’s just going to cut back and she’s going to be sitting at her desk absolutely fine. The first movie? That’s one I want to see, it’s creative, and incredibly creepy. The second? Seen it. If you cut out the demonic stuff it wouldn’t be as technically impressive, but I think it could end up being an improvement from a narrative standpoint.

It also might have worked better if we went straight from the snuff movies to the police station. If the audience never sees the outside world it would make her world seem smaller and claustrophobic. It’s similar to the Colin Firth “I’m on a boat motherfucker don’t you ever forget” movie from a few years ago. The acting is mostly okay, Jessica Sula has a lot to carry and does it as best as you can hope. Some of the snuff movie sections are great visually, but the vocal performances feel fake.

Overall, I couldn’t help but feel I was watching cutscenes for a horror video game rather than a feature-length, erm, feature. It’s definitely ambitious, but I can’t help but feel it may have worked more if it aimed for something a bit simpler. Although considering how fake some of the dialogue sounds, I can see why they’d feel the need to wow with effects and visuals. The music is pretty damn good though. Like I said, there is a lot to like about Malum. But it’s standing in the shadows of stuff I’ve seen before, mostly Hereditary. Yes, I know the original of this was released 4 years before Hereditary, but this remake was made afterwards, so it might have been advisable to try and avoid comparisons and, I dunno, not make this movie? Or change the hallucination stuff and just focus on the cult-killing people.