M3gan 2.0 (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: M3gan comes back, this time as a hero.

This is a terrible horror movie. That’s mainly because it’s not a horror movie. I’m used to horror franchises delving more into action or comedy, but it’s usually a few minutes in and it’s a sign of decline. I can’t remember a time it’s been so drastic as this. There’s no traditional horror movie beats, no shots that fill you with dread or keep you awake at night. What there is, is quips, fights, and weirdness.

On the one hand, the genre switch means that M3gan 2.0 is fun to watch and will appeal to a wide audience while still keeping true to the spirit of the original. On the downside, from the first trailer, where it was made clear that this time she’ll be more heroic and will be teaming up with those who defeated her in the first movie, comparisons have been made to Terminator 2. Those comparisons are much harder to ignore when the change of genre makes the movies even closer. It’s almost begging you to make those comparisons, and when it does, it doesn’t hold up.

On its own merits? It’s a lot of fun. It’s violent, funny, and kind of sweet. It has really good characterisation. Making M3gan a hero could have backfired, but it works wonderfully. That’s helped by the fact that even when she was a villain in the first movie, her entire motivation was doing what she felt she should do to protect a child. So she could easily turn them into heroes without changing their motivation. It feels like the next logical step. Her introduction is a lot of fun, with her controlling the aspects of a smart house to defeat an invading police force, who burst into a house all guns blazing to arrest an unarmed woman and a child, but because this isn’t real life, nobody got shot.

The performances are also key, the main characters from the first film return, and it’s clear they all love playing these characters. There aren’t too many new characters, but those who are introduced fit in perfectly.

Now onto the downsides. There are a few minor ones in terms of tone and consistency, and some moments are just a little bit too much like a video game for my liking. The major issue for me is the villain reveal. I live quite near a 12th-century castle. A castle, which is a crucial part of local and national history. A castle, which is vital to tourism and is a visual centrepiece of the local area. If you visit this town, you kind of HAVE to visit the castle.

That castle isn’t as clearly signposted as the villain reveal in this movie. I guessed it from the character introduction, not only that they would turn out to be the villain, but also their motivations and reasoning. It felt so obvious as the film went on, with a few “but nobody could have known this” about things which he would have known about. It’s so clear that I felt it was a red herring; I didn’t think a movie in 2025 could be this obvious with its twist. I haven’t seen a reveal this obvious since, well, every superhero movie where a character named something like “Evil Von Murderface” turned out to be the bad guy.

In summary, don’t go in expecting scares, and you’ll have one hell of a good time. It has a lot to say about AI, specifically about the role of humanity in controlling it. It’s much smarter than it needs to be, and I will always love that. I will also always love it when, in the final product, an editor takes out a really creepy moment from the trailer.

AfrAId (2024) Review

Quick Synopsis: A family takes an experimental AI into their house. Everything works out fine. Psych! Stuff starts to suck.

AfrAId was directed by Chris Weitz, who also directed About A Boy, The Twilight Zone: New Moon, and The Golden Compass, which is a weird film history if you think about it. Not really relevant at all, I just wanted to mention it.

I went into this with lower expectations than I would if Gillingham were playing Barcelona (football joke, I NEVER make them), I knew it had bad reviews and box office, and bad horror movies are usually The Crow-est of the low. So I knew this would be terrible. But then something went wrong; it’s not terrible. It’s not good, but it’s not terrible. It is never bad enough to be awful, but also it’s never quite good enough to stand out. It doesn’t help that it’s quite derivative, it’s not saying that much which hasn’t been said before (primarily by equally stupidly titled M3gan). It can’t compare to that, and not just because the AI in this isn’t as memorable, or as well-written. Occasionally it only does things BECAUSE it’s a horror movie, there’s no “non-creepy” justification for many of the AI’s choices.

On the plus side, it does seem like it has something to say, which I always like to see in a horror movie. The proliferation of AI is a concerning development and one that’s too big for films to ignore. This film also says a lot about how families interact with themselves and with technology, especially concerning how that affects parenting. It doesn’t always work, though. There are some parts where the AI nature of it just

The revenge porn bit, in particular, didn’t sit right with me. I don’t care that it ruined that kid’s life, he knowingly made and shared porn of his girlfriend. I don’t give a shit that he won’t go to college or that he’s being tried as an adult. To be perfectly honest I hope he gets hit by a fucking car. Now it gets fun. No word of a lie, I legit wrote that line, and then that character died in a car crash. So that’s nice.

On the upside; the performances are good. John Cho is underrated (as anybody who has watched Searching will know), and I’m still waiting for the world to pay attention to just how utterly fantastic Katherine Waterston is. Both of them feel slightly beyond this movie, almost like this was a film made years ago and only just released now to make use of their fame. There’s also no issue with direction; it looks good, has decent audio cues etc.

The main issues are pretty much entirely down to the script. The pacing is like a drunk driver; all over the place, causing great damage, and indefensible. The ending is a huge letdown. It goes too “real”, with the AI making incursions into reality which are a bit too far-fetched and would be easily solved by humans. The closing scenes are also far too predictable, to the point where it feels like a parody.

In summary; not as bad as I expected, but not as good as I wanted. AfrAId is like people who discuss politics on Twitter, too concerned with saying stuff “now” than trying to figure out how to say it.

2023 Film Awards Day Three: The Genre

Funniest

Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret
Yes, it’s sweet and very wholesome. But what I mainly remember is how endearingly funny it is. Whilst the situations aren’t universal, the feelings behind them are, and the comedic ways the characters react to them are far too relatable.
Barbie
God bless the weirdness. From the first time I saw the trailer I knew I was going to laugh a lot, and the film itself didn’t let me down on that front. There are different types of jokes too, some innuendo that wouldn’t be out of place in a Carry On film, some absurd stupidity, and some that just hit way too close to home for me to be comfortable with.
Champions
A film with this much emphasis on special needs could have gone SOOOOOO wrong. But it works here. Crucially, it doesn’t make them the butt of the joke but also doesn’t feel overly condescending either.
Joy Ride
It features a scene with a light-up vagina, and a series of scenes of them accidentally injuring a sports team with sex. It’s filthy, and it’s fucking funny.
Scrapper
I went into this completely blind, and it won me over with heart and humour. The character of Georgie is wise beyond her years, but not in a pretentious way that makes you dislike her. She’s street-smart and quick-witted. From the moment she gets caught stealing a bike and blags her way out of it by saying “I was just checking your bike was safe, it isn’t by the way” the tone is set.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem
It’s a little bit too reference-heavy, with pop-culture references flying by thick and fast. But it is mostly very funny. It’s helped by the main characters being voiced by actual teenagers, so their dynamic feels genuine. It’s a chaotic humour that suits the animation style. The dialogue feels like a bunch of teens just talking shit. The character of April has her moments too, including a vomit scene which is so over the top it goes past gross into hilarious.
The Blackening
I love a good comedy horror, in fact, as my love for Bride Of Chucky proves, they don’t even have to be good. The Blackening is good though. It knows the audience has certain expectations when it comes to black people in horror movies, and it plays with those tropes brilliantly.
Totally Killer
“Just think, maybe if she did blowjobs she’d still be alive today”
“Yeah, let’s NOT make that the lesson”
God damn, I loved the dialogue in this, the way it plays with time travel tropes, the way it points out how 80s parents at times didn’t really seem to care if their kids were alive or not.
Wonka
If you liked the Paddington movies, you’ll enjoy this. There’s a similar sense of playful weirdness which provides. It’s helped by a great ensemble cast, all bringing the weirdness, the funny, and the funk.

Winner

Bottoms
Again, a film that’s batshit insane. The final fight in particular is a masterclass of WTF black comedy. What would just be a standard football scene in most films (or at most, a quick fight) is a massacre, decapitations, explosions etc. There’s a line that comedy films have to be careful not to cross, Bottoms crosses that line multiple times and then snorts it. All the characters get jokes too. PJ and Josie are the leads, but the background characters get their chances to shine too. Personally, I loved Hazel and her sarcasm blindness.

Saddest

Aftersun
On the surface, not that sad. But when you get the subtext, when you get what’s NOT being said, it will break you.
All Quiet On The Western Front
Does a great job of showing just how futile individual effort is in a large-scale war. How you can die and it can mean absolutely nothing.
Talk To Me
Horror is a useful genre for exploring certain topics. Talk To Me explores grief and guilt, and does so perfectly. It blends together horror and sadness in some truly beautiful moments. The attempted suicide, in particular, is a mix of “Holy shit” and “please no” and is more effective than films with bigger budgets and more gore.
The Flash
Most of the film is not great. But the moment where he is essentially saying goodbye to his dead mother is heartbreaking. It is EXACTLY how I would have done it, and if the rest of the film had this much care put into it, then it would have been one of the best of the year.
The Night Of The 12th
Just knowing that you can be brutally murdered and not know why, the killer never being caught etc. It’s horrific. Murder mysteries tend to end with the murder being solved, this is depressingly realistic.

Winner

The Whale
God damn this is bleak. Much like The Wrestler (which is a great watch if you haven’t seen it), a tale of someone haunted by demons who hides himself away out of shame, which in turn alienates him from his family. They even end similarly, with a presumed but not confirmed death.

Scariest/Best Horror

Godzilla: Minus One
The big G is smaller here than in most iterations, you’d think that would make him less intimidating, but nope. His smaller size now means that he is aware of humans, and he’s not a fan (although can you blame him? What other species has invented atomic bombs, date rape, and the 2019 film Cats?). So you can’t just walk around him, if he sees you, he’s going to kill you.
Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 3
The main villain is incredibly disturbing. There’s not enough of him in the finished product, but when he’s on-screen he’s utterly despicable and could easily work in an R-rated horror.
Holy Spider
The idea that people like Saeed Azimi actually existed, and in the modern world, is terrifying. It’s horrific how men like that don’t just exist, but seemingly thrive in some parts of the world. It would be nice if this ended with him and jail and the threat over. Whilst he is dead, it’s clear his son still thinks of him as a hero and is likely to carry on his mission. The patriarchy sucks.
M3gan
They’ve got a franchise here, and I think they know it. Reminded me of the last Childs Play movie, but with less violence. If the franchise continues though, it HAS to improve and go further. Plus it has some GREAT kills.
Piggy
Damn, people are dicks. Especially to overweight women. The sheer callousness displayed in how they treat her is uncomfortably true and will resonate with anybody who has weight issues.
Puss In Boots: The Last Wish
I’m surprised to see this here too. But it’s a kid film which fits in tales of existential angst, which I always find terrifying. Plus, it has a fantastic audio cue.
Saw X
Genuinely disturbing, and a surprisingly solid addition to the franchise. It’s as good as almost anything the Saw movies have given us. The traps are brutal and fun but do feel a bit unfair. We’re also given one of the most despicable and inhuman villains in horror history.
Scream 6
The ending was pitiful, but some of the deaths in this are brutal. The opening is nihilistic as hell and one of the best openings to a Scream movie in quite some time. It’s a shame that this could be the last good one as the seventh looks like it’s going to be a trainwreck.

Winner

The Blackening
The relationship between race and horror movies is well known, there’s a great documentary on the subject called Horror Noire: A History Of Black Horror. Films like Get Out have approached it from a serious side, so it’s about time someone took it in a comedic slant. The Blackening could not have been made 10 years ago. Racism is now politically acceptable, with politicians debating whether “This woman makes me hate all black people. I hope she gets shot” is racist or not. It’s in a “we’re not racist, many of my employees are Asian” world where films like The Blackening are needed. It kills it as both a horror and a comedy.

2023 Film Awards Day Two: The Components

Best Script

Bottoms
I loved how it balanced the “wtf” nature that exists in the world of this film, whilst also being deeply serious and personal. I was more forgiving of issues with this than other films because it felt like it took place in a strange universe. Like Black Books or Green Wing. So there was a certain amount of “well that makes no sense. But fuck it”. Normally, that approach like that would feel like a cop-out, but it genuinely works here. Plus, I can guarantee this is some sexually confused 15-year-old autistic kids’ new obsession that will change their lives, and the world needs more films like that. This is going to be a film that changes someone’s life, and it’s REALLY funny too.
Missing
Long-followers (or anybody who has spoken to me for more than a few minutes) will know that I LOVED Searching. So I was always going to enjoy a thematic sequel. The brilliance of this is almost entirely down to how well-scripted it is. Yes, the computer screen gimmick helps, and the performances are great. But you could make it a normal film and would still work, could replace the performances and might still work, but it’s the script that turns something good into something great. It’s so damn well plotted. Just when you think you know the answer, it changes the question. You go through thinking “Well obviously this is the case”, then five minutes later the film proves you wrong. It’s a script made of a thousand threads, and every single one is expertly crafted.

Winner

Rye Lane
Despite what my somewhat cynical nature would make you believe, I do genuinely love a good rom-com. And this is a good one. A lot of that is down to the performances, but the script makes their job slightly easier. The two characters are likeable, and the meet-cute actually feels real. A lot of times that moment feels a bit too “written”, but it feels genuine in this like it was an actual moment which could lead to two people falling for each other. The key point is that you actually want the two people to end up together. You feel emotionally invested, and that’s all down to how real the script makes the characters seem.

Best Looking

A Man Called Otto
Mainly because there’s a BEAUTIFUL seasonal transition shot. The rest of the film looks pretty standard, but that one shot is so damn good.
All Quiet On The Western Front
Some absolutely stunning shots. The visuals really help make you feel that you’re there. Usually, films like this have a tendency to be just a mesh of brown and grey. This adds moments of colour, and everything is so clear there’s zero washout.
Barbie
For a lot of these, I’ll be talking about how they made everything look real. Barbie, I’ll be doing the opposite. A lot of care went into making the world look fake. It reminded me of Game Night, where the establishing shots etc were shot in such a way that the houses kind of looked like game pieces. Everything here looked like a dollhouse world. Not just the obvious (colour schemes etc), but the way things are sized too. They obviously had a blast with the visuals, and it’s all the better for it.
Creed 3
I loved the fights in the first Creed movie. The way the camera weaved between the participants really helped sell the damage being done. This approaches it differently. It makes it less realistic, and more philosophical. So it really gets you inside their heads, letting you know the pressure they’re under, how alone they feel, how completely drained they are. It’s a risky strategy, but it really pays off.
John Wick: Chapter 4
You always get innovative fight scenes in this franchise. But this entry went a bit different; shooting one as if it was a video game, moving over walls and with constant motion. It all looks so effortless too.
Oppenheimer
Obviously, this was going to be listed here. They recreated a nuclear detonation with minimal to no CGI. Everything is building up to that moment, so if the explosion sucked then the whole film would be ruined. But that crazy bastard pulled it off.
Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse
I loved how the different animation styles meshed with each other. All the different Spider-verses FEEL different and unique in how they’re animated. There’s so much effort into differentiating them, and it really pays off.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie
The script itself was created with no love for the source, with all the references being surface level and nothing more than “this is a thing in the games”. But the visuals? They were done with love. Background graffiti and road signs are full of references. The music may be meh, the voice acting bland, and the plot a bit dull, but the sheer love that went into creating the visuals means watching this film isn’t a total loss.

Winner

The Creator
Obviously, it was going to be this.  I don’t know how Gareth Edwards managed it on such a small budget but I can only assume witchcraft. It looks incredible, absolutely astounding. There are zero moments where it doesn’t look real (although there is one moment where the geography of the scene could be improved to help clarify things). Considering the amount of effects etc. that must be needed for this to work; that truly is a testament to the talent of Edwards and his team.

Best Performance

Aftersun – Paul Mescal
Everything is subtext. Calum is so damn well written. He’s a father who is suffering from depression, but is doing his best to hide it from his daughter. Mescal has to carry all of that nuance. He doesn’t get to explain it, doesn’t get anybody else to explain it, it’s all hidden under the surface. It would be easy for it to be too obvious, too surface-level. I kind of feel you need to have mental health issues to be able to see the signs. I don’t think some people will understand it, but those who do get it, will GET it.
Apocalypse Clown – Natalie Palamides
Her character, as written, is already the highlight of the film, but her physicality is tremendous. Even the way she eats ham is notable. She is never not “on”.
Barbie – America Ferrera
A performer who was sorely underrepresented in the marketing. She’s the straight performer in a world of comedy, so it would be easy for her to be overshadowed by people who could go further. Without Ferrera, the film risks coming off as too wacky and silly, making it feel like nothing has consequences. She provides it with enough seriousness that you buy it as real, even when it goes batshit weird.
Haunted Mansion – Lakeith Stanfield
I genuinely believe he’s one of the best all-rounders the industry has; a face that suits magazine covers, the perfect voice for audiobooks, plus the ability to deliver an incredibly powerful monologue that will bring you to tears. Everyone else is acting like they’re in a Disney movie, all overly expressive and aimed towards a mass audience. That’s fine, that’s really all you need in a film like this. But Stanfield? He performs like he’s in an Oscar-bait drama.
M3gan – Amie Donald
Her physicality is amazing. Her movement enters uncanny valley territory. She’s under 15 years old and has more physical awareness than people who have been in the industry longer than she’s been alive. I hope this doesn’t lead to her constantly being cast as a horror movie monster wearing a mask so you can’t tell it’s her. Yes, her character is an inhuman robotic killer, but it’s the slight fluidity that Amie adds to it that helps sell the character.
Missing – Storm Reid
I’m not that familiar with her, having only seen her in small roles before. But she carries this brilliantly. There’s a lot for her to do too, she has to be a cocky teenager, but one whose mother has gone missing so she’s worried about her (whilst also being competent enough to try and solve it). So she needs to somehow convey both “I know everything” and “I need an adult”. That’s difficult to do in a supporting role, but as a lead, it’s tricky to do and remain convincing. She has great facial expressions, to the point where there’s so much unsaid dialogue in this.
Oppenheimer – Cillian Murphy
There’s not much I could add here which hasn’t been said many times before. So I’m not going to.
The Whale – Sadie Sink
I know Fraser has a lot of love for his performance in this. But I kind of think that Sadie did more. In the future, she’s going to do something that will make everybody notice her, she is that damn good. Fraser can kind of hide behind his prosthetics and physical performance, whereas Sadie has to lay it all on the line, shedding every single layer of vulnerability. Her character could be better written, more consistent, but her performance is damn fine.
We Have A Ghost – David Harbour
Mainly because he does the whole thing without saying a word. He is one of those actors that even when he’s in bad films (such as Gran Turismo), he’s usually the best part, and never the cause. We Have A Ghost is an average movie, deserving of its place on Netflix instead of physical media. But Harbour, and everything he does, could not be improved.

Winner

Killers Of A Flower Moon – Lily Gladstone
It’s not an understatement to say that her performance is the beating heart of this movie. She has so much to do and does it brilliantly. An example of how great her performance was; she’s in a film with DiCaprio, DeNiro, John Lithgow, Brendan Fraser fresh off The Whale, and Jesse Plemons. Yet who was everybody talking about? Lily Gladstone. She didn’t just hold her own against acting heavyweights, she overshadowed them.

Best Character

Aftersun – Calum
The stuff I mentioned in the Best Actor part? All applies here too. It’s a fantastic mix of a well-written character being played by the best person possible.
Barbie – Ken
It feels weird saying that. It’s a feminist AF film, female director etc. Yet the most entertaining character is the dude. That feels wrong somehow. His character does run the risk of being slightly incel at times, but he redeems himself with his rejection of what we would deem standard masculinity. His arc isn’t about finding a girl, it’s about finding himself. It’s essentially the same as the main character from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, just with less depression.
Bottoms – Hazel
The other characters are great too. But I absolutely adored Hazel. I was discussing this movie with someone and she said this: “I’m concerned that I would actually sell my soul to protect Nicholas Galitzine. I don’t want to date him at all, just protect him”. That’s exactly how I feel about the character of Hazel
Creed 3/John Wick 4 – The Title Characters
This has to be the end of that franchise. The characters have reached the natural end of their story. Both of these two are similar, they have back stories I’d like to see more of, but their current story has definitely ended. They went out on a high too. It’s been good to see these characters develop across the movies, letting us live in their worlds for a moment. I’m sad there’s no more, but I’m glad I got to see every single entry in both franchises in the cinema.
Holy Spider – Saeed Azimi
He’s not sympathetic or likeable in the slightest, but he is sincere, and you do understand how he got to his point of view, even if it is sociopathic and deplorable. It’s key that the character doesn’t seem to be getting pleasure from this. He seems genuinely disgusted with himself for having to be near the women he’s killing. This really helps him feel genuine. He is terrifying, even when he’s just being an everyday family man. There’s a moment where the veil slips when he has an outburst in front of his family and stops being the kind loving family man. What’s very telling is how his family react. They’re scared, but not surprised. So they know he has the capacity for violence; just maybe not to the full extent of it.
Joy Ride – Deadeye
I mean, she’s clearly autistic, right? But crucially, not to the point of parody or cruelty. It’s weird, this is a film about identity and finding your family. Yet the most emotional part belongs to Deadeye thinking she’s been abandoned by her online friends. You just break, it’s incredibly emotional, but it wouldn’t be if you didn’t like the character.
Polite Society – Ria Khan
It would be so easy for her to come off as a whiny entitled brat with delusions. But every decision she makes makes sense. When she sneaks into the men’s locker room to go through a phone? Makes sense with what we know about the character so far. She feels like a real person and we’re just getting a snapshot of her life. She also gets to be a character who’s not just a damsel in distress, which is still depressingly rare for young female characters. The representation is great to see, but even without that, Ria is still an important character because she’s just so damn likeable and funny.
The Marvels – Kamala Khan
Fuck the critics, she is adorable. Her squee nature makes sense too, she is a fangirl getting the chance to work with her idols. Of course she’d be overwhelmed. She’s the only one not trying to put on a tough front, it makes her very human.

Winner

Godzilla: Minus One – Kōichi Shikishima
A failed kamikaze pilot haunted not just by his actions in the war (feigning mechanical issues to get out of his duty. I mean, his duties were to kill himself so I get it) and by his behaviour in the first Godzilla attack. He’s a man haunted by guilt and regret, someone who spends the entire time needing to prove himself. That defines so many of his actions. His refusal to openly return Noriko’s feelings comes from a belief that he doesn’t deserve happiness. This is what makes Godzilla movies work, and why so many adaptations get it wrong. It’s not about the monster, it’s about the humans. Throughout this, you want Koichi to succeed and find happiness, he’s a PTSD-haunted man in a society which doesn’t think PTSD is a thing.

Best Couple/Double Act

Aftersun – Calum/Sophie (Paul Mescal/Frankie Corio)
Aftersun would not have worked if the relationship between the two leads felt fake. It’s difficult for two adults to fake a familial relationship, let alone an adult and a child actor. Yet you never doubt the sincerity between the two. They genuinely feel like father and daughter, which is a testament to the talent of both Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio, as well as whoever made the decision that the two of them should spend time at a holiday resort in Turkey during rehearsals.
Barbie – Barbie/Ken (Margot Robbie/Ryan Babygoose)
They play off each other perfectly, both in characters and in performance. Barbie is weird, and Ken has to match that Kenergy throughout so that she seems logical. Surprisingly this is only the second film the two actors have starred in together, and I don’t even think they shared any scenes in the other one (The Big Short). A smart movie studio would book these two together in more things. A dumb studio would greenlight a bunch of movies based on toys. Fucking Warner Bros are useless.
It’s A Wonderful Knife – Winnie/Bernie (Jane Widdop/Jess McLeod)
The rest of the film is nothing to write home about, but the chemistry between these two performers is a delight. I would love to see these two in a romantic comedy. The chemistry between the two performers was so good that it actually changed the story. I love when that happens, and it would have been stupid of them not to do that.
M3gan – M3gan/Cady – Amie Donald/Violet McGraw
For this to work, you need to believe that Cady doesn’t think of M3gan as a robot. Otherwise, it would just be like “Why is that small child so friendly with a calculator?”. You need to believe that they have a friendship that goes beyond a child and her computer. You can easily believe that these two are friends, so it all works.
Quiz Lady – Anne/Jenny (Awkafina/Sandra Oh)
They have really great chemistry, to the point where it is easy to buy them as siblings. They’re helped by a script full of moments which showcase how much Jenny really does care for her sister Anne. They’re both playing against type, and if both of them aren’t perfect it doesn’t work. I adore how familiar the two performers feel with each other, and it’s the linchpin the film is based around.
Rye Lane – Dom/Yas (David Jonsson/Vivian Oparah)
Watching the two interact, you’d assume they’d worked together a lot before, nope. Every moment between the two makes you want to see more. They’re so natural together, that weirdly, it kind of hurts the film. Because of how natural a couple the two make, the argument between the two doesn’t ring true. You don’t think a perfect couple like that could be split by something that small. A small niggle though. Without that chemistry, a lot of the best moments would feel forced. I don’t say this often for a rom-com, but I want to see these characters again, maybe in a TV show following the two down the line.
Scrapper – Georgie/Jason (Lola Campbell/Harris Dickinson)
There’s a fun playfulness between the two, but it’s a playfulness filled with uncertainty and quiet mistrust. They do like each other, and we do see moments of him being a caring dad, but you are always aware that they don’t actually know each other. Every moment of warmth is played with the undercurrent of knowing that Georgie hasn’t forgiven her dad for walking out on her.

Winner

Past Lives – Nora/Hae (Greta Lee/Teo Yoo)
A couple that is not a couple when the film starts, and isn’t one when the film ends. But they mesh so well together. Past Lives received a lot of positive attention in the industry, with heavyweights like Christopher Nolan naming it as one of his favourite films. I have to believe a small part of that is the undeniable chemistry that the two actors share, and how well-written their characters are. Going in, you know how this is ending, but you have that small flicker of hope that you’re wrong.

2023 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

Anatomy Of A Fall

Ups: Genuinely compelling.

Likeable characters

Flows beautifully.

Downs: Feels a bit too ITV at times.

Best Moment: The courtroom scenes themselves are sensationally tense.

Worst Moment(s): A moment that’s not there; the year between the event and the trial. I’d have liked to have seen more from that.

Best Performer: Sandra Huller

Opening: Sandra’s interview keeps getting interrupted by her husband playing a flamenco cover of a 50 Cent song. Rather damn tense, but doesn’t really set up the genre until later.

Closing: The court case is adjourned. It does seem to end rather quickly, with no idea of what happens next.

Best Line: Sometimes a couple is kind of a chaos and everybody is lost. Sometimes we fight together and sometimes we fight alone, and sometimes we fight against each other, that happens

Original Review here

Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 3

Ups: Genuinely emotional.

Funny.

An utterly detestable villain

Good cast chemistry

Downs: The music isn’t as good as the previous entries.

Some issues with the tone.

It really is time that the MCU started advancing its overall narrative.

Best Moment: The hallway fight scene. One of the best action set pieces in the MCU

Worst Moment: The post-credits scene is a waste of time, even by phase four MCU standards.

Best Performer: Chukwudi Iwuji

Opening: The group are attacked at their new headquarters. Standard Guardians opening, but not as good as has been done before.

Closing: Everyone goes their separate ways; still alive. Because Marvel isn’t going to kill any characters now.

Best Line: Someday I’m gonna make great machines that fly. And me and my friends are gonna go flying together, into the forever and beautiful sky.

Original Review here

Holy Spider

Ups: Shockingly violent.

The police officer going from “I’m a sensitive nice guy” to “Well what if I don’t want to leave? Slut” is painfully real to see play out. His wife blaming the women is also up there.

Ali Abbasi NEEDED to tell this story.

Downs: Some of the subtitles haven’t been translated properly.

The editing isn’t too great in some places.

Best Moment: The brief look of pride on his son’s face when he’s talking about strangling people

Worst Moment: When she runs for safety, it cuts too quickly to really be effective.

Best Performer: Mehdi Bajestani

Opening: “Every Man Shall Meet What He Wishes To Avoid”. Then a naked woman doing her hair, with her back covered in bruises. Few more random scenes, then footage of 9/11. It does everything it can to cause emotions.

Closing: He gets hanged. He thought he was going to get away with it but turns out his friends had sold him out. I like the fact that he died afraid, and the irony of him being killed by lack of oxygen is nice to see. That should have been how it ended, as it was, it carried on to her on a couch watching videos. Disappointing. Or so I thought. But then she watches videos of his son, and he’s talking about how he plans to continue his dad’s work; demonstrating how his dad killed them, like he was doing something great. Demonstrating on his sister. Thankfully just a soft recreation, not actually killing her. But it’s still horrific to watch in terms of what it implies about societal bullshit.

Best Line: “Prostitution is a societal problem. You don’t sell your body on the street unless you’re poor and desperate”. I think that line actually leads a bit of nuance to the guy’s belief and helps you realise that he has a genuine reason for wanting to end prostitution.

Original Review here

Joy Ride

Ups: Very funny

Utterly filthy.

Great performances.

Unapologetically Asian.

Downs: Some scenes go on a bit too long.

Some side characters feel wasted.

Best Moment: The video recording from her birth mother.

Worst Moment: The WAP scene, it drags ever so slightly towards the end of it.

Best Performer: Ashley Park

Opening: The two characters meet. A sweet and funny scene that showcases their relationship, and give the parents some depth two. One set are nervous and fed up of not being thought of as American, and the other set of parents just want a friend for their daughter. It also features a racist being injured and sworn at.

Closing: Simple “one year from now”. Nice, and doesn’t sequel hook.

Best Line: My vagina is the devil and she’s here to stay!

Original Review here

M3gan

Ups: Very funny

Has a superb Chekov’s Gun involving a giant robot.

Weirdly sweet at times.

Downs: There’s a few moments where the editing is a bit off. Most of the time it’s fine. But there’s a moment in the office where it’s a bit sudden and disorientating.

Best Moment: When M3gan is being disconnected. You know what’s going to happen, it’s obvious, but it’s still incredibly tense trying to figure out WHEN it will happen. It’s the cinematic equivalent of Buckaroo, only with slightly more death.

Worst Moment: The bits which aren’t in there. Like, what happened to certain people? And what impact does this have on the company?

Best Performer: Violet McGraw. Although I did think she was Ava Acres until about five minutes ago.

Opening: A very cutesy/disturbing advert for a fictional toy. Followed by a car crash which kills the parents of Cady. Her parents are actually shown as fully realised characters, so it doesn’t feel like it’s wasting time.

Closing: The not-Alexa turns itself on, implying M3gan is now in that. That’s how you do a sequel hook: there’s potential for it to continue, but it still feels like a complete story. It CAN have a sequel, but it doesn’t NEED one. Although I will be curious how they’ll have an excuse to keep the same design for M3gan if they do continue. Her look was a big part of her charm.

Best Line: Cady, you lost your parents. The worst thing that could’ve happened to you in this world happened. And it is so unfair, and there is nothing anyone can say to make sense of it. Not even M3gan. I am so sorry. I should’ve talked to you about what happened. I didn’t know what to say, so I did the only thing I knew how to do. But she’s not a solution. She’s just a distraction. I can’t promise you that these feelings you’re feeling are ever gonna go away. But I can promise you that you’ll get through it. We both will.

Original Review here

Quiz Lady

Ups: Funny.

It’s nice to have something just designed to make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Good subversions of the expected character types.

Downs: Predictable.

Could do more.

Doesn’t use the music available to it in the best way.

Best Moment: The quiz show itself.

Worst Moment: The Ben Franklin-themed hotel seems like an idea that was hilarious on paper but didn’t really add anything on screen.

Best Performer: Awkwafina.

Opening: Anne sits down to watch a quiz show in 1996 as an argument goes on around her. Her older sister is on the phone nearby and reaches for the remote. I assumed she was going to turn the volume down so she could talk on the phone, but she turned it up instead so her sister could hear it. It’s weirdly sweet. Helps that the child actress they got looks SOOOO much like Awkwafina.

Closing: Ends exactly how you think it would end. But then you get a “what happened to everybody” montage which is hilarious.

Best Line: “Linguini became a social media star, making $200k per post. This makes him richer than most families and proves capitalism has gone too far”

Original Review here

Rye Lane

Ups: Very believable relationship between the two leads.

Adorkable

Very creatively shot

Downs: The traditional third-act argument doesn’t feel real, and the grand gesture feels underwhelming.

Best Moment: The dinner with Dom’s ex.

Worst Moment: The argument.

Best Performer: David Jonsson

Opening: The meet-cute. Happens very early on and I’m all for it. Actually, that’s another point, this film is remarkably paced.

Closing: They end up together. Obviously.

Best Line: So apparently there are two types of people in this world. The ones who wave at boats, and the ones who hate joy.

Original Review here

The Creator

Ups: Looks incredible.

How was it done on this budget?

Gets you asking questions.

Downs: Missing THAT iconic needle drop.

Important plot points are glossed over too quickly.

Best Moment: The reveal that the disaster that wiped out humanity was human error, not AI. Changes everything.

Worst Moment: 3 seconds later when you realise that the reveal has changed nothing.

Best Performer: John David Washington

Opening: Newsposition. Goes from real news to fictional seamlessly and makes the world seem real.

Closing: The two main human characters die but the world is saved. Cliche but works.

Best Line: Go make love to yourself. Go make love to your mother.

Original Review here

The Marvels

Ups: Fun.

Iman Vellani is a delight.

Perfect chemistry.

Good visuals.

FINALLY starts to set up the next stage.

Downs: Villain is defeated too easily.

Wastes the swapping gimmick.

Best Moment: “Memories”. Just absurd.

Worst Moment: The singing planet. Mainly because it could have been sooooo much better.

Best Performer: Iman Vellani

Opening: Standard “villain finds weapon” opening.

Closing: Confirmation of X-Men/young avengers.

Best Line: Okay, no more touching shit. Especially glowing, mysterious shit.

Original Review here

M3gan (2022)

Quick Synopsis: Remember the 2019 Child’s Play? It’s that. Only with a younger child, less snark, and more orphans.

I’ll get the obvious out of the way, you don’t need to have seen M1gan, or M2gan for this film to make sense, mainly because those films don’t exist on account of M1gan sounding less like a horror film, and more like a documentary about the motorway connecting London and Leeds. I would not have made them the first movies I see in 2023, that would be weird.

This was actually the first film I saw in cinemas this year, and I don’t regret that choice at all. It’s a fun watch. It’s not likely to end up among the best films seen this year, but it is likely to be among the ones I had the most fun watching. This is my type of horror film; funny, violent, and well-made. That’s not to say it’s disposable, I think the idea of a horror film coasting by just on the kills are long-gone, they need to justify themselves to still work. This does that, it’s made with a lot of care and really feels like a passion project.

Some people may find it a bit too reminiscent of the last Child’s Play film, but I actually enjoyed that so it’s not exactly a downside, after all, even if you eat chocolate ice cream on a Monday, you’re not going to say no to chocolate ice cream on a Tuesday. Sometimes it’s okay to do the expected. There’s not much about this that’s necessarily groundbreaking or new, it’s not reinventing the wheel. It knows you know what’s going to happen, but it’s done so skillfully that that actually works in the movie’s favour. A good example of this is a scene where a technician is attempting to fix M3gan. Everybody in the audience knows that she’s going to reboot and attack him. But the key is when is it going to happen? It’s like watching someone play Jenga, every block removed causing a sigh of relief when the tower doesn’t fall, and the longer it doesn’t fall the tenser it gets as you know it’s building to the inevitable conclusion. Only, Jenga doesn’t cause as much blood usually (I’m aware there are exceptions).

So that’s the film itself, now onto the pieces that make it up. This is only the second feature directed by Gerard Johnstone, and that’s baffling. It feels like the work of an experienced hand, the way he balances horror and humour is a good sign for his future prospects. If he sticks with M3gan, he could helm a killer franchise, which the genre surely needs as there doesn’t seem to have been many in the last few years.

Oh, to answer the question; Get Out. That’s where you know lead actress Allison Williams from. Or possibly HBO’s Girls. I was trying to figure out where I knew her from the whole time. She’s well-cast in this, her slightly detached closeness makes sense. There are a few scenes where you feel she could do more, but there’s never a scene where it feels like she needs to. Violet McGraw does a pretty damn good job as Cady (the young child that befriends M3gan). I wouldn’t be surprised if she grows into a great talent over the next few decades. She has a really difficult role in this actually, a child who has lost her parents and is searching for emotional reassurance without being able to say that out loud because she’s too young to fully understand that’s what she needs. The worry when she approaches the android is understandable, as is the joy when they start emotionally connecting.

Now, M3gan herself. Usually, a character like that is either CGI or puppetry/robotics. Here she’s played by Amie Donald, a child actress from New Zealand. Her physical commitment to the role is impressive, moving in a way that even the silhouette provides an uncanny valley experience. If she moved naturally the character would be laughable, it’s the strange stiffness that reminds you that the character isn’t human, and then she rips a kid’s ear off easily and that confirms it.

That scene is very disturbing by the way, and if it wasn’t for the strange dance M3gan does that’s gone viral, I feel the child murder would be the iconic scene. It’s a good murder, and the motives for it make sense. Not only was the child threatening Cady, but he also pretty much tried to rape M3gan. I mean, he removes some of her clothing, strikes her in the face, and straddles her. He had no idea she was a sentient robot, he just thought he was fucking a toy. That’s still not great, is it?

Sadly, like all movies of this ilk, there is the inevitable sequel hook. It’s not as egregious as they usually are though, so that’s a plus. There is a self-contained story here, so any sequels will be nice addendums, rather than necessities. Plus, I wouldn’t actually mind seeing a sequel, if it was done right. If it’s just another “oh no, killer toy robot” then I wouldn’t be too excited. But a sequel that examined the effect these murders had on the survivors, the town, and the toy company itself trying to handle a PR nightmare that can’t be ignored? I’m down for that.