Tag: Horror

2025 Film Awards: Day Three

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Best Looking

Elio

It’s Pixar, Pixar will always look great, even when they let their story standards slip.

Fantastic Four: First Steps

A lot of Marvel films look the same; this is the first one in a while with a unique look. It has a future-retro style that brings to mind the original cartoon. It looks like what people in the 50’s thought the future would look like. Basically; the Jetsons.

Freaky Tales

I loved the parts that looked like they were from a comic book. It reminded me of Ninjababa, and I loved that movie.

Here

It’s absolutely stunning that a film set in one location with a static camera can look as dynamic as this.

The Woman In The Yard

They made daylight scary. That’s difficult. If anything, I think this would be less scary if it took place at night.

Winner

Avatar: Fire And Ash

I don’t love this franchise as much as most people seem to. But I have to appreciate just how damn impressive they are from a visual standpoint.

Best Music

A Complete Unknown/Deliver Me From Nowhere

If you fill a film with Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen songs, it’s going to have a killer soundtrack. Deliver Me From Nowhere has a slight edge because its one of the best demonstrations of the power of live music. It’s not about sitting still and taking it in, it’s about jumping around in a dingy club, losing half your body weight in sweat as you dance with strangers.

Opus

A film about a reclusive musician has to have good music. We have to believe that he is a musician who will inspire a certain level of devotion. Opus manages it. The music is hypnotic, danceable, sexy, and weird. It’s exactly what you expect a character like that would make. It’s helped by how good a job the film does of setting up the universe; it’s very easy to believe that he’s real. But if the music was shit, or was too obviously written by a known artist, it would break that illusion.

Queen Of The Ring

I should have hated the music for this, as most of it isn’t era-appropriate. It somehow works though. The music clearly isn’t from the time, but does a semi-decent job of making you feel part of that time. It’s a risky strategy, but I think it works. The Larkin Poe version of Gods Gonna Cut You Down is one of the best songs I heard in 2025.

Spinal Tap 2: The End Continues

The Elton John version of Stonehenge would earn this nomination on its own. The other songs are good too, but the Elton John one is phenomenal.

Winner

Sinners

I can only really remember two songs: “Rocky Road To Dublin” and ” Magic What We Do”. Yes, the rest of the soundtrack is good, full of powerful and emotive blues music. But those two songs are sensational and are my main memories of the experience. Rocky Road To Dublin is terrifying the way it’s performed here, but also weirdly stirring. It makes you want to stand up and march on an unseen enemy. Magic What We Do is where it’s at, though; a surreal genre mash-up that takes you through over a hundred years of music and shows how much of modern music has its origins in blues. It’s a key scene, vital to the story being told. No matter how impressive the visuals are, if that song sounded like it didn’t belong, if it didn’t flow between the multiple genres effectively, that scene would collapse. As it is, it’s a frontrunner for best scene of the year.

Best Effects/CGI

Nominees

How To Train Your Dragon

I’m still not entirely sure what the point of this movie was (a point I am sure I will say again when the Moana remake is released), but I can’t fault how beautiful this film looks. There are some small visual changes from the original animated movie, but it still sticks to the same visual tone and spirit. The dragons are difficult to pull off visually in live-action: you need them to look fearful enough that you can easily buy that the characters are scared of them, but have an inherent cuteness to them that means the characters do eventually trust them studio can sell toys.

M3gan 2.0

Entirely down to the main character. Yes, she is portrayed by an actual human, but the mix of her performance and effects overlaying it means that you never forget that she’s not human. It’s so well done that I nominated this instead of Companion, which is overall a much better movie.

Wolfman

Sometimes a movie does something so good that it makes every other attempt look poor by comparison. No, I’m not talking about Wolfman, I’m talking about An American Werewolf In London. The transformation sequence in that is easily one of the top moments in movie history, ensuring the movie’s place in the public eye for as long as cinema is a thing. On the downside, every werewolf transformation will now be compared against it. A lot of movies have failed, Wolf Man is the closest thing that has been made since then. It genuinely feels painful.

Winner

The Electric State

Terrible, terrible movie. Among the worst of the year. The visuals are the only thing worth mentioning, and they just about pull it away from winning “worst film” this year. If these visuals were attached to a better movie; they’d be applauded. The movement of the machines is beyond slick, almost human. If anything, the robots are the only thing that DON’T take you out of the narrative. They weren’t overly shiny and “new”. They looked aged, they looked like they’d been through some shit. Importantly, they looked real.

Worst Effects/CGI

In The Lost Lands

Everything looks fake. I’m not sure if the entire thing was filmed in front of a green-screen; but it certainly looks like it. This is not a movie, it’s a videogame cutscene. It’s so bad that I can’t even nominate anything else, because as soon as I saw this, I knew “that’s winning”.

Best Stunts/Action/Fight Scenes

Nominees

Ballerina

The John Wick franchise has set a new standard when it comes to action sequences. The dynamic handheld-camera style populated by the Bourne franchise; now it’s about finesse. Ballerina continues in that tradition. It’s a slightly different dynamic. The Wick films are about someone who is skilled, someone who is the best in the world at what they do. Ballerina is about someone still new to this world, someone who goes into every fight against someone more experienced, bigger, and stronger than her. This gives the scenes a bit more of a comedic nature. It’s still serious, but there’s a sense of realistic ridiculousness to the whole thing, which is a breath of fresh air.

Final Destination: Bloodlines

Part of the fun of these movies is watching the deaths unfold. Seeing how the geography is set up for the events to happen. The deaths in FD: B are set up beautifully, especially with the death of Iris. Does this technically count as stunts/action? Probably not. But I had to give it its flowers somewhere.

Love Hurts

Terrible movie, but the fight scenes were great. Not quite as great as Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. This is nowhere near winning, mainly because it’s lacking “that” scene, one you can recommend to people to demonstrate how good it is. But it is a worthy mention, mainly because of how creative some of the individual moments within the fights are; and for how good Ke Huy Quan is in them.

Heads Of State

Purely for the fight once they crash. It’s fun, creative, and oddly humorous.

Winner

Novocaine

This makes the most of its gimmick; I have to respect that. The fact that he can’t feel pain is key to every scene. None of the fights would work in any other movie. It reminded me of Alien: Romulus in the way it looks at the toys it has to play with (in this case, a guy who can’t feel pain), and bases everything around that. I’m slightly hopeful there’ll be a sequel, because I want to see what else they can come up with. But I would also hate that, because I’m not sure there’s much else left to do.

Worst Stunts/Action/Fight Scenes

Nominees

Havoc

How can this film exist and not have a single memorable action sequence?

In The Lost Lands

I remember when I was at college, and a classmate made the mistake of lightly praising one of the Transformers movies. This set off the lecturer, who was very proud of his film knowledge (you know the type, the one who prefaces every film recommendation with “you probably haven’t heard of it”), and the lesson was disrupted whilst he spent 15 minutes talking about how that movie sucked. One of his main complaints was how poor the action scenes were; talking about how because the robots looked the same, every action scene just looked like shit bashing together with no idea who is who or what is happening. That’s pretty much exactly how I felt watching this.

Karate Kid: Legends

Not that the fight scenes were “bad” per se, but if you’re expecting a five-star hotel and you’re given a leaky caravan, you’re going to be disappointed. Scenes which should be iconic are just “there”. It’s a genuine shame as it brings the film down so much.

Winner

Bride Hard

Earlier (or later, depending on how I lay these out), I talked about how I loved Novocaine because the action scenes leaned into the gimmick; this does the opposite. It has action scenes which disrupt the character. The script wants comedic action scenes, but only knows how to do it by making the lead character seem shit at her job. I also have an issue with what’s NOT there. There are almost no scenes which are exclusive to a wedding-based action film. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of stuff you could use; going through the wedding gifts to find a plate they can use as a weapon (and finding mainly gift vouchers), use sex toys that were planned for the honeymoon, fight whilst trying to minimise damage to the place settings, etc. There’s an entire building of narrative doors that the concept presents, but Bride Hard is content to just sit on the pavement outside, staring at its shoes.

2025 In Film: Day 10 (The Amazeballs)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

A Real Pain
Ups: Emotional. This film will hit you harder than Mike Tyson, and with less mercy.
Excellent use of time. It somehow packs so much into a short runtime.
It’s nice to see Jennifer Grey again. She’s one of the most underrated performers of all time.
Downs: Visually, it could be a little more interesting.
There are fleeting times when the lead characters seem kind of dicks.
Best Performer: Kieran Culkin. Eisenberg is up there, but Culkin JUST about edges it.
Best Moment: Okay this is difficult. There are at least 4 choices. I suppose I have to go with the group posing for pictures with a statue. It shows everything that works. The character interactions, the warmth, and the sadness. You can show that scene and instantly know the characters.
Worst Moment: The ending. The rest is brilliant, and the actual closing shot is good, but it does seem to lose momentum in the final few minutes.
Opening: David leaving A LOT of voicemail messages. A good way to show his character.
Closing: Back at the airport.
Best Line: We’re on a fuckin Holocaust tour. If now isn’t the time and place to grieve, to open up, then I don’t know what to tell you, man
Original review here

Eternity
Ups: The chemistry between the performers.
Will make you feel things.
Unique.
Shows the difference between young/carefree and lifelong love.
Will inspire discussion and self-introspection.
Downs: Won’t appeal to everyone.
Tries to have every possible ending.
Surely this isn’t the first time it’s happened?
Best Performer: Da’Vine Joy Randolph. Everyone else is great as part of an ensemble; she’s great on her own.
Best Moment: The first trip into the archives. Very sweet.
Worst Moment: The fake Dean Martin. It’s very funny, but it stretches credulity that Anna wouldn’t tell Larry that it was an impersonator.
Opening: Larry and Joan are driving to a party, arguing, but in a way it’s clear that there’s no malice behind it. Larry then dies.
Closing: Joan and one of her husbands decide on their Eternity. Very sweet.
Best Line: Love isn’t just one happy moment, right? It’s a million. And it’s bickering in the car, and supporting someone when they need it, and it’s growing together, and looking after each other.
Original review here

Fackham Hall
Ups: Utterly ridiculous.
Perfect casting.
Some truly classic jokes.
Downs: Some of the jokes are made by the characters long after the audience has made them.
The plot isn’t that great.
The detective subplot feels wasted.
Some people may expect it to be a bit more mature/offensive.
Best Performer: Katherine Waterston.
Best Moment: “Watt’s his name”? Yes, it’s an old routine, but it’s classic.
Worst Moment: The section where he’s arrested feels like it could have more jokes.
Opening: Showing the family. Sets up the jokes incredibly quickly.
Closing: “What happened next”, every joke a winner.
Best Line: “I’m here regarding the murder of Lord Davenport”
“I’m afraid you’re too late; it’s already been done”
Original review here

Last Breath
Ups: Tense AF
Anchored (lol) by great performances.
Barely any time wasted.
Emotional
It’s nice to see people who are good at their job.
Downs: Could occasionally a better job of explaining to the average audience member why certain things are done the way they are.
Needed better advertising.
Best Performer: Woody.
Best Moment: When the umbilical cord is disconnected. Caused genuine gasps in the cinema I was at.
Worst Moment: The computer being reconnected. Isn’t explained enough.
Opening: Drone footage of an unconscious diver convulsing on the sea floor. Along with text saying how dangerous the work is. Almost like a horror movie.
Closing: Footage of the main characters wedding in real life.
Best Line: Back in the day, though, you know, when I was starting out, you only needed two things: little common sense and a good bottle of Scotch.
Original review here

Sinners
Ups: A completely transcendent experience.
Phenomenal music.
Some great performances.
Unique.
Downs: Takes a bit too long to get to the point.
The post-credits point is too important to the plot
Best Performer: Miles Caton.
Best Moment: Come on, really? It’s when Sammie plays in the bar and we see it conjuring spirits of the past and future. It’s a good thing nobody was close to me at the cinema, otherwise they would have heard me say “That? That’s fucking cinema”.
Worst Moment: Some of the deaths in the bar aren’t that clear, visually.
Opening: Sammie drives to his fathers church and stumbles in, bloody and beaten, clutching a broken guitar.
Closing: It’s the 90’s; Sammie performs at a club. Great that Coogler managed to get Buddy Guy in. Kind of weird that ALL of this happens during/after the credits as it feels very important to the plot.
Best Line: white folks, they like the blues just fine. They just don’t like the people who make it.
Original review here

The Naked Gun
Ups: Hilarious.
Damn near perfect casting.
Pays tribute to the original, but not too much that it overshadows the narrative.
Downs: Misses some joke opportunities.
Few too many pop culture references.
Not as quick as the originals.
Best Performer: Liam Neeson.
Best Moment: The cavalcade of “did you get that?” scenes. Utterly stupid but brilliant.
Worst Moment: The snowman scene. It’s very good, but it goes on too long.
Opening: The bank scene from the trailer. Then (and this is the most offensive part), they DON’T do the cars POV for opening credits.
Closing: Freeze frame shenanigans!
Best Line: Like an idiot’s completed jigsaw puzzle, I was being framed.
Original review here

The Roses
Ups: Incredibly funny.
Good chemistry.
Has much more heart than you’d think
“FFS, communicate” is an important message.
Far too relatable.
Downs: A few moments that don’t go anywhere.
Sometimes it feels like characters improv too much.
Best Performer: Olivia Colman.
Best Moment: The final scene. Caused an audible reaction from everyone.
Worst Moment: The almost murders near the end. Seems too far. The marriage counselling scenes also don’t seem to go anywhere.
Opening: The two are at marriage counselling. Allows a perfectly natural “how we met” flashback.
Closing: The two reconcile. Awwwww. Then almost certainly die in a house explosion that we don’t see.
Best Line: If you need a shoulder or an inner thigh to lean on…
Original review here

2025 Film Awards: Day One

On By troubledproductionsIn AwardsLeave a comment

Funniest/Best Comedy

Nominees

A Real Pain

At times, this is the saddest film you will see, it will break you. That’s to be expected; it’s about family trauma, mental health, and the holocaust. What you may not expect is just how funny it is. So whether its with sadness or with laughter; one way ot another you will end up crying. The laughs are big enough to just about carry you through the sadness. They’re logical laughs, too. Based on believable character reactions. If you tell people what this film is about it will be difficult to convince them it’s a comedy. Once they watch it though, they’ll get it.

Deep Cover

I was weirdly charmed by this. I think the trailer lets it down, ruining most of the jokes by changing the timing or removing the context. If you think about it too hard, then the plot does fall apart. Thankfully the jokes are good enough to tide you over the plot issues. It could be funnier, there are multiple missed opportunities, especially towards the end. But the jokes that are there are pretty damn fine.

Heads Of State

No idea why, but my brain links this and Deep Cover, so the fact I put Deep Cover in this category kind of meant I had to put this here too. There are some great comedic action scenes, especially the one where they land and fight a random group.

I Swear

When this site was set up over a decade ago, there were some discussions that had to be made. Among those; the slogan. We hit upon “Making you feel guilty for laughing”. Whilst that may not be totally accurate now due to our move away from lists/opinion pieces and towards reviews, I like to think it’s still incredibly accurate when I showcase scripts (trust me, I’ve got one lined up the next time there’s a lull in reviews, and it was written just to see if I can make a VERY dark scene work). That slogan would also be accurate for I Swear. It’s so inappropriate that you can’t help but laugh. I never thought I’d say this; but this will make you laugh at a cancer-stricken woman being punched in the face. It would be so easy for this to cross the line and be offensive, but the writers make it work. It’s also weirdly sweet at times. The scene of him and the teenage girl in the car (it doesn’t go where you think it does) is both hilarious and sweet.

The Naked Gun

Not quite as joke-filled as the original movie, but if it’s a genuine surprise that you can say something like “sometimes there’s a whole 40 seconds without a joke” then you know a film is packed with gags.

The Roses

This got the loudest laughs of any film I saw this year. Absolutely shocking, but also brilliant.

Winner

Fackham Hall

Very similar to The Naked Gun in terms of comedy style and consistency. Fackham Hall wins out purely based on the fact that I’ve excitedly told more people about it. I haven’t felt a need to watch The Naked Gun trailer again (although I have kept an eye out to see if it’s been added to digital services), but I must have watched the trailer for this at least once a week since I watched it. The only surprising part is that a Jimmy Carr movie would be so inoffensive.

Scariest/Best Horror

Nominees

Companion

Not a traditional horror movie, more of a thriller. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this. In terms of actual movie quality, this is probably the best of this list. But in terms of horror? Not quite. The gore is fantastic though when it is used.

Drop

Not quite as close to the horror genre as the directors previous work. But it would be hard to argue this doesn’t belong here at all. It’s such a simple premise, and one which hits straight at modern fears.

Heart Eyes

For 75% of the runtime, Heart Eyes is a damn fine horror movie. It falls apart at the end with the reveal of who the killers are, but before that it’s a modern classic. Brutal, smart, and (importantly), characters you don’t actually want to see die, so you are worried when they’re near death.

Sinners

Actually, forget what I said about Companion. THIS is the best movie in this category, probably one of the best movies I’ve seen all year, in fact (definitely top 3). It is more of a horror movie than Companion, it just takes longer to become one.

The Monkey

Silly, utterly ridiculous. But so inventive and bloody that I couldn’t help but feel warm towards it.

Weapons

I didn’t rate this as high as a lot of people did, but it would be naive of me to not say how creepy it is when it does work. I had a few issues, but they’re pretty much all personal preference.

Winner

Final Destination: Bloodlines

This was a new experience for me. I’ve seen all the Final Destination movies before, but on TV or DVD, but Bloodlines is the first in the series that I’ve seen in the cinema. It’s difficult for a movie this far into a franchise to still feel fresh. The deaths are as good as ever, incredibly creative and able to make you scared of everyday things.

Worst Comedy

Nominees

Bride Hard

I can’t sum it up better than William Bibbiani did in his review on TheWrap:

“It’s abrasively hard to watch. It’s not just that the jokes fall flat, it’s that the film looks like a pile of celluloid got chopped up randomly and reassembled in what the editor could only assume was the correct order, because the script mysteriously vanished”

Happy Gilmore 2

I suppose my main issue with this movie comes down to the fact that in the time since the first movie, I’ve matured as a person (not by much) and as a movie-watcher, and it doesn’t feel like Sandlers tastes have matured at all. The references to the original don’t feel organic, and the film doens’t trust that you recognise them, so they include flashbacks which disrupt the momentum.

Winner

Kinda Pregnant

The key to comedy is truth. It’s why no comedian has started a routine with “don’t you hate when you’re drinking a glass of lemonade and it mutates into a cheese sandwich, but your girlfriend is allergic to dairy ever since she was bitten by a yak?”, because that’s not a situation anybody can buy into, so the jokes won’t work. The central premise of Kinda Pregnant isn’t one you can buy into, and the way some background characters react makes it even more unbelievable. There are a few good laughs; I particularly liked it when she got a classroom to boo a small child, but those moments are too few.

Worst Horror

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Were people crying out for this film? Was there a need for it to exist? The third one is universally regarded as one of the worst horror films of all time (and think of the ground THAT covers). This version has some fairly decent kills, and it is nice to see some of the original characters again. But there’s not much else to it. It’s a tonal disaster, especially at the end. The story falls apart under the smallest bit of scrutiny. The first movie is incredibly closely tied to Scream, and it’s hard to argue against the feeling that the release of this was entirely due to that franchise being rebooted a few years back.

Keeper

Not so much a story, more a collection of creepy moments.

M3gan 2.0

I legit love this movie, but it’s not a good horror. Tbf, it’s not trying to be, but the expectation was it would at least play to horror tropes slightly.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

It had some good ideas, and I will always appreciate watching Nazi’s die (especially on the news), but SNDN was far too stupid for me to enjoy. Similar to other films in this category, the plot falls apart once you think about it. The murders all seem to happen in a vacuum, having almost no consequence on the town. I’m not saying every sentence needs to be “I haven’t seen Bob around, have you?”, but if a hundred people die in a small town, people should notice. Also, the deaths in this aren’t meant to be scary, you’re supposed to cheer them.

Winner

Until Dawn

Videogame adaptations are hard; do you adapt the story, or the general spirit? Whenever somebody says “dude! They should make a Grand Theft Auto movie, it would be sick” I wonder what that would actually be like. The fun in GTA is playing it, not the story, so a film would just be a ridiculous gangster movie. The best adaptations attempt both. It feels like Until Dawn focused on story, and in doing so, ruined what made the games great. I haven’t played the game, but I’ve played the Dark Pictures Anthology games and The Quarry, made by the same company. What makes those games special is choice; how seemingly innocuous decisions can kill people. Plus; you have to stick with your choices. It’s all about consequence. So an adaptation which makes a point of saying that consequences don’t really matter because it will all reset seems to have missed the point.

Most Unique

Freaky Tales

You really don’t see many anthology films, so that alone is weird. But the tone of Freaky Tales is what sets it aside. It feels like a comic book adaptation. The science fiction elements are so underplayed it’s almost as if the film doesn’t think it’s worth mentioning because they’re so normalised in this world. I can see why people would dislike this movie; but it’s certainly charming, and unlike anything else I’ve seen all year.

Here

This is a fascinating concept; essentially the history of a house told in a non-linear fashion with the camera never moving. It doesn’t always work, with the crossfading being a bit too distracting at times. It definitely would have been easier to maintain momentum over a shorter runtime, but I’m glad that it tries. It’s not exactly a success, but it’s too impressive to be a failure.

Presence

A host story (very much NOT a horror) from the POV of a ghost. That aspect is really helped by the flowing camera movement. I may not have liked this film, but I appreciate it.

The Second Act

A film that’s so meta that it almost folds in on itself. Too meta, even for me. This will frustrate the hell out of 90% of people, but the 10% of people who like it will love it. I don’t think I’ve ever been as weirded out by a realistic film.

War Of The Worlds

“Unique” doesn’t always mean “watchable”. I love a good screenlife film, and am always excited to watch one when it comes out. An alien invasion movie made like this is a fascinating prospect, but this doesn’t even come close to living up to what it could/should be.

Warfare

Another gimmick, this time, a war movie that takes place in realtime. Not many films portray the reality of war, this at least shows the horror, how it can completely fuck with your head. Essentially, it’s PTSD: The Origin Story.

Winner

Good Boy

A horror movie from the POV of a dog, I haven’t seen anything close to this outside of a video game.

Saddest

A Real Pain

It’s weird that a film can be in both the “funniest” and “saddest”, this manages it, and is a big part of why (spoilers) I’ve nominated it for best film of the year. It’s not just because of the holocaust mentions, the approach to mental health will also be depressingly realistic to those who suffer (or those with basic empathy).

Key scene: So many options. I’ll go with Benji when he loses his cool on the train. Other moments are sadder, but that’s when the mask falls furthest.

Bring Her Back

I was not the biggest fan of this film, but I appreciate the way it showed parental grief. It’s the grief that adds another dimension to the character, turning her from just another horror movie villain, to someone with relatable motivations; motivations which will break you slightly.

Key Scene: I guess the whole thing. The limits that Laura went to so that she can bring back her deceased child.

I Swear

To paraphrase the film: it’s not the tourettes which makes this film sad, it’s peoples reactions to tourettes which are the problem.

Key Scene; When he gets hospitalised due to a misunderstanding. You can tell that he is worried that that’s what his life will be like from now on. That he is always at risk of someone beating the shit out of him because of something he can’t control.

Winner

Final Destination: Bloodlines

I could spin a yarn about how this movie touches on survivors guilt and mortality, and say this film is on that list because of that. Really, it’s because of one scene, and one scene only.

Key scene: Tony Todds farewell. He wrote it himself, he knew he was going to die soon and was given the chance to say goodbye to horror fans on his own terms. Other movies have been sadder all the way through; but the real-life meaning behind the sadness is why this wins.

Sweetest

Freaky Tales

It seems like the modern world is designed to cause division and anger: from football teams, to wrestling companies, to MCU/DCEU (and even then there’s subdivision between Snyder/Gunn). In those times it’s nice to see films like this; films which demonstrate we can all come together in one uniting perfect ideal; knocking seven shades of shit out of nazi cunts (fuck off)

Karate Kid: Legends

This film was not made for me. It was made for fans of the franchise, or people who, at the very least, had watched one of the films in the franchise. I went in relatively blind; yet was still charmed.

Winner

Heart Eyes

You wouldn’t expect to find a horror movie in this section, but here we are. The romantic relationship between the two leads is what separates this movie from other horrors. The romance is so great that I would have been genuinely disappointed if it turned out he was the killer; it would have actually made sad for the character, just as heartbroken as she would be. Of course, I also would have criticised it for being predictable, but still.

Most Me

Essentially, films which may not be great, but I connected with on a personal level. Films which I would show someone to best explain my taste and personality.

Companion

Bloody, funny, and feminist as fuck. Some people have described this as “anti-male”, it’s not. It’s anti-abuse, and if you see that as “anti-male” then that says more about you than it does the movie.

Matt And Mara

A “platonic” friendship full of awkwardness and conversations that consist of pop-culture references? This is the exact type of thing I write. So it’s a shame I didn’t like this. Possibly because it’s so close to me that all I could see is how I would have done it.

Queen Of The Ring

It’s a film about wrestling, of course, this would appeal to me. The soundtrack is very me too, the cover of Gods Gonna Cut You Down in particular, does feel very geared towards me.

The Ugly Stepsister

I’m a fan of retellings, and few have been done as slickly as this was. A few of these types of movies have been bad, so when it’s done well it’s a huge relief. This doesn’t just retell the story, it brings its own identity to it too. There’s some great stuff in here, stuff that will stick with you long after the credits roll (actually, this was released on streaming services, so it’s actully “long after you get a pop-up telling you to watch something else because god forbid a streaming service actually lets you settle with the impact of a movie instead of just forcing the next one down your throat).

Winner

A Real Pain

A depressing yet hilarious film that touches on mental health, isolation, mortality, and the holocaust? Love it. Plus, it stars Jennifer Grey, who I’ve always had a soft spot for.

Primate (2025) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: Monkey goes mad

Thoughts Going In: Could be dumb fun. Also, I went to grab lunch before this movie, intending to order a small cocktail, I instead ordered a pitcher, which I had to drink by myself in 10 minutes. So this entire review should be read under the knowledge that I was pretty drunk, and based on a conversation I had before the film started, I was trying to think of how Snickers could possibly be a euphemism for lesbianism. and Mars chocolate bars refer to men. No, I won’t provide context.

In 1971, Daniel Mann released the horror film Willard, about a man who befriends an army of killer rats. This was followed by a sequel the following year, called Ben. The theme song (called simply, Ben) for this film was performed by Michael Jackson, and is genuinely very sweet. The rabid chimpanzee in this movie? Ben. The lyrics are surprisingly apt for this film, which meant I couldn’t unhear the song every time they said his name.

So besides my own weird shit, how is Primate? It’s okay. As an early-year blood-filled popcorn horror, it’s good. It does what it needs to, and doesn’t overstay its welcome. There are moments where it’s a bit too dumb to be enjoyable. Characters state that rabies doesn’t exist in Hawaii, then doesn’t bother to provide an explanation as to how it does now. Some of the stupid decisions only happen so that the plot can advance, with multiple people doing things that nobody would do. I can’t tell you that much about the characterisation, because there didn’t really seem to be any. Characters don’t really develop, and only occasionally dip into their personality traits. When I write, I like to do a draft where I cover up the characters’ names, and see if I can tell who’s talking based solely on the dialogue; it’s mainly a test to see if each character has an individual voice rather than just me doing a narrative ventriloquist act. I struggle to think you’d be able to do that with this.

None of that is meant as an insult to the cast; all of whom do their job well. Most of them are relative unknowns, but you wouldn’t know that by the performances. I like that they actually cast a deaf actor in Troy Kotsur, a disappointingly high number of films wouldn’t.

Now onto the best part; the kills. This film is bloodier than the firstborn daughter of Henry VIII. Primate doesn’t shy away from not just the blood; but the pain. When characters get their jaws ripped off, it’s not quick and painless, you can tell they are suffering. I’m quickly beginning to like the work of Johannes Roberts. With this, and the two 47 Meters Down movies, he’s finding a niche as a talented creator of animal-based horror movies. I’m not saying he should be given billions to remake Jaws, but he’d be a decent choice if you wanted to remake The Swarm and make it actually good.

In summary: exactly what it needs to be, but never anything more.

2025 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Ballerina
Ups: Worthy addition to franchise.
Really creative fight scenes.
Weirdly funny.
Downs: Very dependent on knowledge of previous film.
Needs better music.
Best Performer: Ana De Armas
Best Moment: The hotel staff reaction to the fight.
Worst Moment: Her reunion with her sister, isn’t given enough time to mean anything.
Opening: Her dad is killed by assassins, she gets taken in by Winston. Very fun action sequence. Shows you that the franchise hasn’t lost a step.
Closing: She meets up with a character who was attacked earlier, who I assumed was dead. I feel he should have been.
Best Line: One bullet, well placed, can change the world.
Original review here

Deep Cover
Ups: Funny, very funny.
Downs: Could have better action scenes.
I would have liked to have seen how this affected their lives.
Best Performer: Orlando Bloom
Best Moment: When they sell the albanians drugs back to them.
Worst Moment: When they drunkenly meet her friends, only because the misunderstanding could have been solved easily. It would have made much sense for Hughs colleagues to be the ones met, have him stand up to them.
Opening: A quote about improv comedy. At least its honest. Then car chase. I don’t think the car chase was needed though. I feel it went action too quickly.
Closing: The madcap adventures have improved their lives. Again, would have been nice to see how others reacted; particularly Hughs old colleagues.
Best Line: You’re from the Cotswolds. You’re not Al Pacino
Original review here

Drop
Ups: Stylistically shot.
Compelling story.
Well-developed background characters.
Good chemistry between the leads.
Downs: Not as smart as it could be.
Loses something in the final third.
So many small imperfections.
Best Performer: Meghann Fahy
Best Moment: The way she gets the gun at the end, so smart.
Worst Moment: The written note to the piano player, mainly because it’s difficult to read what it says, which is kind of an important thing to know.
Opening: Interior Night; a woman is being attacked by her abusive husband. It’s weird as the way it’s presented makes it seem like “this is where we are now” and the rest of the film is a flashback.
Closing: A second date is planned. Very cute.
Original review here

Final Destination Bloodlines
Ups: Some great kills.
Actual emotion.
Downs: Keeps hinting at a much better movie.
Best Performer: Gabrielle Rose. At first I was disappointed that they didn’t get a classic Scream Queen to play this part, but god damn is she good.
Best Moment: Tony Todd’s goodbye. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Worst Moment: The end. Every single one of these films ends the same way, and it’s getting hard to care.
Opening: The same way every one of these starts; a massive catastrophe, only this time in the past. Some great kills, and I like that they didn’t spare the kid, rarely made you realise that nobody is safe. It did change from tradition somewhat by the vision being had by a descendant instead of the actual person.
Closing: They all die.
Best Line: Tony Todds farewell.
Original review here

Freakier Friday
Ups: Will always appreciate Chappel Roan music in a film.
Heartwarming.
Weirdly good British accents from American actors.
Good supporting cast.
Downs: Lohan doesn’t seem to fully buy in at times.
A few too many superflous scenes.
Best Performer: Jamie Lee Curtis
Best Moment: The immigration interview.
Worst Moment: Harper in Anna’s body trying to dance. Mainly because it doesn’t feel like it’s actually Harper.
Opening: “Here’s where the two characters from the first one are now”. Anna tries to wake her daughter Harper using “modern” parenting techniques, not knowing that she’s actually out surfing. There’s a MUCH better opening afterwards.
Closing: Tess finds the picture that was taken of her when Lily was in her body. A nice coda.
Best Line: The school had our pension invested in crypto, but since I’m not supposed to complain about it, per my lawyer, it’s neither here nor there.
Original review here

Freaky Tales
Ups: Manages to be both consistent whilst also being different.
Charming.
Great music, more films should use Operation Ivy and Black Flag songs.
Creatively shot.
Some great messages for audiences. By which I mean, it tells you to punch the shit out of Nazi’s.
Downs: Doesn’t set up the telekinesis well enough.
The ending of the second story isn’t that satisfying.
Best Performer: Pedro
Best Moment: The fight at the punk club. There many fights, but this is the best one.
Worst Moment: The death of the basketball players family. Weirdly subdued compared to the rest.
Opening: “weird shit happens” narration. Sets the tone quickly, especially with the visuals and synth music.
Closing: Sleepys advert, alongside the protagonists of the first two segments. Then a nazi’s head explodes.
Best Line: “if there was secret vampires, we’d be all up in that shit
Original review here

Heads Of State
Ups: Weirdly timely.
Funny.
Actually addresses the “but the Prime Minister isn’t the UK head of state”, although IMDB still bitches about it.
Good chemistry between the leadsH
Downs: Tries to be too smart at times.
Takes a somewhat glib attitude to death.
Best Performer: Idris Elba
Best Moment: The Belarus fight.
Worst Moment: There’s a really bad edit where it cuts to black and silence for a bit too long and without the “oomph” that makes it clear it’s deliberate. Had to rewind it three times to make sure it wasn’t my HDMI cable fucking up.
Opening: Tomato festival. One of those things that I’m sure isn’t as fun as it seems. Quickly devolves into spy stuff, starring none of the two main people advertised. Brave, but it makes sense and works.
Closing: Alliances are reformed. The two are now close friends. Incredibly obvious but this movie isn’t made for subversion, it’s for fun. Thats fine, but then there’s another scene showing Comer survived, and meets up with Bissett. It means nothing and adds nothing. The other scene felt like an actual ending.
Best Line: Yeah, well, based on my experience, okay, hope is just delayed disappointment. Doesn’t put food on the table. Doesn’t put a roof over anyone’s head. And if you want to focus on making people “feel good,” then you’re never gonna understand how to help them.
Original review here

M3gan 2.0
Ups: Bloody fun.
The genre change is the only way this franchise could continue.
Great performances.
Heartwarming
Much smarter than it needs to be.
Downs: Incredibly obvious twist.
Inconsistent tone
Best Performer: Violet McGraw
Best Moment: M3gan stops a home invasion. Not as violent as some of the other scenes, but much more fun.
Worst Moment: The villain reveal. Only because I called it the second the character was introduced.
Opening: AMELIA infiltrates an enemy compound to rescue a hostage. She shoots the hostage. Good showcase of what she can do, and some good action moments.
Closing: M3gan didn’t die, obviously.
Best Line: Did you ever consider the idea that killing me was slightly disproportionate to the crime?
You threatened to rip out my tongue and put me in a wheelchair.
I was upset.
Original review here

Novocaine
Ups: Some fun fight scenes.
Genuinely good mid-movie plot twist.
Does a decent job of showing how not feeling pain can actually be a bad thing.
It’s nice to see Jack Quaid in a movie where his female partner doesn’t end up on fire. Makes a change,
Decent make-up on his burned hand.
Downs: A character reveal was ruined by the trailer.
Very one-note. Like an SNL sketch that goes on too long.
The villains are pretty dull.
Best Performer: Jack Quaid, has to be.
Best Moment: The Torture. Hilarious.
Worst Moment: When he gets his bone broken in the final fight. Mainly because it’s shot in a way that you can’t really tell what’s happening.
Opening: Nathan offers advice to a store owner, allowing him some financial peace for a brief period. It shouts “he’s a good guy” so loud it gave me tinnitus.
Closing: Nathan visits Sherry in prison. Delightful surprise that there are consequences to actions. Always nice to see that in a movie like this.
Original review here

Now You See Me, Now You Don’t
Ups: Incredibly fun.
Foreshadows brilliantly.
Handles all its characters well.
Introduces new characters expertly.
Downs: If you think about some of the moments for more than a second, I’m sure it will fall apart.
Gets a bit too ridiculous at times.
The big twist is too easily telegraphed.
Best Performer: Ariana Greenblatt
Best Moment: As always, the reveal as to how they pulled it off at the end.
Worst Moment: The party in Antwerp. Not bad, but there are moments here which do stretch the credulity.
Opening: Crypto dickbags lose their money. Fun, and displays the talents of the new cast.
Closing: Someone we thought was dead turns out to be alive. It’s weird, he wasn’t really missed from this film.
Best Line: Atlas. What’d your mom have sex with a map?
Original review here

The Running Man
Ups: Some fun action scenes.
Sadly relevant.
Adapts the book brilliantly.
Downs: Not quite as dynamic as the directors other work
No scenes which stand out as particularly noteworthy.
Best Performer: Colman Domingo
Best Moment: Elton and Ben defending Eltons home.
Worst Moment: The hostel fight. It’s good, but there’s something about it which makes me think it could be a lot better.
Opening: Simple set up of the universe. Kind of needed.
Closing: Killian is kill(ian)ed.
Best Line: Do not shake your dick at the crowd. That’s a bad note.
Original review here

Zootropolis 2
Ups: Looks incredible.
Vocal performers are at their best.
Important message
Not many kids films will parody The Shining like this.
Downs: Repeats the first one.
Wastes potentially important stories/characters
Best Performer: Ginnifer Goodwin
Best Moment: When they arrive at Marsh Market. Dynamic, and funny.
Worst Moment: The villain reveal, too obvious.
Opening: Summary of the first one. Weird that the stuff they show us wasn’t that relevant.
Closing: They arrest Dawn Bellweather, who has had no impact.
Best Line: The world will never be a better place if no one is brave enough to do the right thing.
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Seven (The Good)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Captain America: Brave New World
Ups: Answers questions about the previous films.
Feels like part of the universe.
Fun.
Interesting characters.
Develops the wider story.
Downs: Feels more like a Hulk movie.
Suicidally self-destructive marketing campaign.
The continuity lock-out is strong
Best Performer: Carl Lumbly
Best Moment: The original assassination attempt.
Worst Moment: The reveal of Sterns. Have they forgotten how long its been since we’ve seen that character?
Opening: “Heroes break into a building”. Kind of standard at this point. Reminded me of Age Of Ultron.
Closing: Liv Tyler comes back. And the crowd goes mild
Best Line: Steve gave them something to believe in, you give them something to aspire to
Original review here

Good Boy
Ups: Tense
Good central performance.
Downs: Difficult to see it reaching mass appeal
Lack of a traditional exposition device may put some off.
Best Performer: Indy
Best Moment: Todd telling Indy goodbye. Very sweet.
Worst Moment: When the film flat-out says the house is actually haunted. May have worked better if it were ambiguous.
Opening: Todd moves into a cabin. Sets up that he’s ill very quickly.
Closing: Todd dies, and Vera comes to find Indy sitting on his own.
Best Line: You’re a good dog. No. Boy, you can’t save me. You gotta stay here.
Original review here

Good Fortune
Ups: Keanu Reeves is great.
Depressingly relevant.
Very funny.
Downs: Has all the bite of a gummy worm.
Perpetuates the idea that poverty is a moral failing.
Best Performer: Keanu Reeves
Best Moment: Arj inspiring the walkout.
Worst Moment: The way Arj gets fired. Makes him unsympathetic.
Opening: A day in the life of Arj. You can see why he’s exhausted.
Closing: An invisible taco gets eaten. Jeff supports workers rights. All very sweet.
Best Line: I wanted to show him that money wouldn’t solve his problems, but it pretty much solved all his problems.
Original review here

Karate Kid: Legends
Ups: Charming.
Fantastic chemistry between the characters.
Use of music really makes you feel like you’re in New York.
Doesn’t require previous knowledge of the franchise.
Downs: The two leads are paired together too quickly.
Repeats the first movie (at least) too often.
Best Performer: Ben Wang.
Best Moment: Mr. Han and Daniel showing off, repeatedly throwing Li onto the floor.
Worst Moment: The group fight. It should be better.
Opening: Flashback to a previous movie, explaining how the two timelines connect.
Closing: Daniel and Johnny Lawrence discuss opening a pizza place. The only part of the movie which requires previous knowledge.
Best Line: In life, you only have one question. Is it worth fighting for?
Original review here

Mickey17
Ups: Intelligent.
Great performances.
Sorely needed right now.
Kind of sweet.
Very funny.
Downs: Until it suddenly isn’t.
Repeats itself.
Slow. So very slow.
Best Performer: Pattinson
Best Moment: The dinner. Marvellous misdirection.
Worst Moment: The dream sequence near the end.
Opening: We see Mickey die. Then a quick explanation of how he got where he is.
Closing: The cloning machine is destroyed. Before that there’s a dream sequence that grinds momentum to a halt.
Best Line: I’m still good meat! I’m perfectly good meat! I taste fine!
Original review here

Nuremberg
Ups: Tense.
Very educational.
“People who are evil are still people” is an important lesson. That doesn’t diminish how scary they are, if anything it increases it.
Demonstrates exactly why the case was so important.
Downs: The lead performance.
Misses its mark on teaching you more about the other people involved.
Best Performer: Leo Woodall
Best Moment: When Triest reveals his personal history. Sums up the main thesis of the film.
Worst Moment: How the trial ends; feels kind of underwhelming.
Opening: Hermann the German is stopped by US forces. Sets up his sense of entitlement.
Closing: Text saying what happened to everybody. It’s not a happy ending.
Best Line: I am a prisoner because you won and we lost, not because you are morally superior
Original review here

One Of Them Days
Ups: Funny.
Pacey.
Characters (mostly) feel real
Downs: Occasionally, it feels like it’s moving from one skit to the next, rather than a cohesive narrative.
King Lolo doesn’t loom over everything like he should. Compare him to Deebo from the first Friday movie.
A few too many instances of Karma Houdinis.
Best Performer: Keke Palmer
Best Moment: Hmmm, possibly the section at the pay-day loan company. The blood bank scene is up there, but the reality and satirical nature of the loan company just edges it.
Worst Moment: The “break up”. Only because it feels forced.
Opening: Dreux finishes up at work. Shows us exactly how damn good she is at her job, plus demonstrates the relationship between her and Alyssa
Closing: Their rent gets paid and everything goes back to how it was, just without the threat. Yup, pretty much Friday.
Original review here

Relay
Ups: Tense
Nice use of the telecommunications device.
Low on action, in a good way. Characters like this should not be action heroes, their goal is mainly to incapacitate people until they can leave.
Downs: The villain’s plan depends on so many coincidences.
Lily James’ character repeats her motivations in two scenes very close to each other.
Best Performer: Riz Ahmed
Best Moment: Ash’s drinking reveal. Makes so much sense.
Worst Moment: The twist. Too stupid. Adds zero.
Opening: Hoffman hands back some incriminating documents he has. Plays into the ending, which is nice.
Closing: The massive company is legally reprimanded. Bit unrealistic.
Original review here

Spinal Tap 2
Ups: Very funny.
Characters feel like they exist outside of the film.
Downs: Doesn’t establish how well-known they are.
Some jokes don’t feel followed up on.
Best Performer: Christopher Guest
Best Moment: Simon’s reaction to Elton John “do we need the piano?”.
Worst Moment: The tour in the kitchen. Mainly because it doesn’t lead anywhere
Opening: Director talks to camera. Nice way of setting up what’s happened, and makes sense in-universe.
Closing: Stonehenge related disaster. And there’s some great stuff in the credits.
Best Line: We need to secure your legacy. If, during the gig one, but no more than two of you, could die.
Original review here

The Accountant 2
Ups: Great buddy movie.
Very sweet.
Always fun to see people be very competent.
Downs: Bland McGuffin.
Best Performer: I know I should say Affleck, but really I liked Allison Robertson more. I found her so warm.
Best Moment: The army of autistic teens finding out someones identity from a strangers selfie.
Worst Moment: The opening. Mainly because it’s not needed, and doesn’t fit the tone.
Opening: Death of Raymond King. Bland. Could be in any movie, not needed for this one.
Closing: The brothers go on a trip. Very sweet.
Best Line: The fall didn’t kill him. It was the abrupt stop.
Original review here

The Monkey
Ups: Bloody
Fun
Goes deeper with family dynamics than you’d think it would.
Good performances.
Downs: Some weird moments.
There doesn’t seem to be much reaction to the carnage. The characters seem very aware that they’re in a movie, so treat death with not much reverence.
Best Performer: Theo James.
Best Moment: Uncle Chips death.
Worst Moment: Probably Aunt Ida’s death, only because there’s a moment in it that it only happens because the character is an idiot.
Opening: The twins father attempts to return The Monkey. The Monkey has other ideas and decides to harpoon the shopkeeper instead. Fun, bloody, sells the concept well. Could have been called back to later though.
Closing: A bus of cheerleaders die. Funny, but needless and a bit TOO stupid.
Best Line: Everybody dies. Some of us peacefully and in our sleep, and some of us… horribly. And that’s life
Original review here

The Thursday Murder Club
Ups: Charming.
Good mystery.
Downs: Feels dated
A little bit boomer
Side characters aren’t developed enough.
The “ah-ha” moment doesn’t really work.
Best Performer: Pierce Brosnan
Best Moment: How they get Jason out of prison.
Worst Moment: The moment in the florists feels like a diversion.
Opening: Black and white flashback of a murder. Very noire. The Murder Club are discussing it.
Closing: They solve an earlier murder, but by doing so, are responsible for the death of another resident.
Original review here.

The Ugly Stepsister
Ups: Nice perspective on overlooked character.
Disgustingly brutal.
Lead actress is a great screamer.
Downs: Difficult to care about at times.
The other sister could have been fleshed out more.
Best Performer: Lea Myren. But Thea Sofie Loch Ness is close, and definitely wins the “best name” award.
Best Moment: The toes being chopped off. Dark, but kind of funny.
Worst Moment: Tapeworm, looks too silly to be serious.
Opening: An imagine spot of her meeting her prince, feels very much like a standard fairy tale/period drama. I like that, it lures you into false sense of security.
Closing: Happy ending for everyone involved; the cinderella expy gets her prince, the two stepsisters get their freedom, and the mother gets a mouthful of spunk from a party-goer.
Best Line: “You’ve cut the wrong foot”
Original review here

Thunderbolts
Ups: Actual emotion.
I will always love seeing Geraldine Viswananathan and Julia Louis-Dreyfus on screen.
Downs: Much like Netflix, it needs more Taskmaster.
The continuity lockout is getting insane.
Doesn’t juggle the characters that well. Ghost, in particular, is so underutilised that she’s only mentioned 4 times in the entire plot section on Wikipedia, and three of those are just “she’s part of this group”.
Best Performer: Wyatt Russell
Best Moment: The fight in the void.
Worst Moment: When the kid “dies”. Mainly because it reveals that the people shadowed away to oblivion weren’t actually dead, there’s no way Disney/Marvel would kill a young child in that manner.
Opening: Yelena destroys a facility. There is also a moment before that where she has the cliche “I always thought….” style narration
Closing: The group are officially titled the New Avengers. Feels slightly forced.
Best Line: The most shameful thing of all was thinking that you could be anything more than nothing.
Original review here

Weapons
Ups: Interesting story
Good performances.
Downs: The way the narrative told does mean that it occasionally feels like it’s stuttering instead of flowing.
The town doesn’t feel real.
Best Performer: Amy Madigan
Best Moment: Marcus killing his partner. The first time we truly see the power the witch has.
Worst Moment: Donna attacking Justine. Felt like it was purely there for a Lewton bus.
Opening: Narration over a blank screen. Not off to a good start.
Closing: More narration.
Best Line:  I can make your parents hurt themselves. I can make them hurt each other. I can make them eat each other if I want to. Do I want to, Alex?
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Three (The Too Flawed)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

A Minecraft Movie
Ups: Fans of the franchise will love it.
The cast are fully into it.
Some good music.
Downs: No appeal to those who aren’t fans of the video game.
Jack Black and Jason Momoa probably should have swapped roles.
Even for a kids movie; far too dumb.
Best Performer: Jason Momoa.
Best Moment: The minecart escape.
Worst Moment: The title drop, it’s far too dumb.
Opening: Steve wants to mine but can’t as is a child, he comes back as an adult. Overly long, plus I feel it would have made more sense if he first arrived in the other dimension as a child, would have explained how he became so good at building.
Closing: Everybody wins and is happy. The song they play isn’t as good as they think it is.
Best Line: Tell my story in song. Keep it metal, keep it heavy, with real instruments.
Original review here

Black Phone 2
Ups: Great music.
Unique visual style.
Downs: Doesn’t really feel like a natural progression.
Completely unnecessary.
Best Performer: Ethan Hawke
Best Moment: Gwen calls out Finn and her dad. Is the only time it feels more than a horror movie.
Worst Moment: The opening
Opening: A young girl makes a phone call. Doesn’t really look like the rest of the film. Does come back later and tie into the narrative, which is a plus. But isn’t something that will hook people in. Plus, the central performance isn’t great.
Closing: The kids bodies are found and are used to help defeat the grabber. Very similar to the first movie.
Best Line: Oh, Finney. You of all people know that “dead” is just a word.
Original review here

Bring Her Back
Ups: Intense.
Terrifying at times.
Downs: Characters act very dumb at times.
Veers from holding the audiences hand to pushing them into a dark room.
Logically muddled.
Best Performer: Sally Hawkins
Best Moment: Oliver eating a knife. Disturbing as hell.
Worst Moment: The death of Andy. Doesn’t feel earned, doesn’t add to the narrative, feels a bit cheap.
Opening: Incredibly creepy cult footage. Sets the tone well. But leaves questions that the movie refuses to answer.
Closing: Laura carries Cathy’s corpse into the pool and cradles it as the police arrive. The best way it could have ended. I did fear it was going to end with her winning.
Best Line: I’m going to drown you, love.
Original review here

Die My Love
Ups: The two central performances are pretty damn good at times.
More films need to be made about postnatal depression.
Downs: Difficult to figure out what is real at times.
Bad background characters.
Seems like it doesn’t want you to like the characters
Best Performer: Jennifer Lawrence
Best Moment: The build up to the initial sex scene. You genuinely believe they love each other.
Worst Moment: The wedding, none of them come out of it looking good.
Opening: They move into a house, then have sex. Slow-paced.
Closing: They start a fire in the forest, which was alluded to earlier in the film.
Best Line: A thing you love is suffering.
Original review here

Five Nights At Freddy’s 2
Ups: Expands the universe.
The marionette.
The animatronics are great.
The central relationship is still incredibly sweet.
Downs: Feels too neutered.
In debt to much better films.
Best Performer: Piper Rubio
Best Moment: Mike monitoring the animatronics’ movements. Very much in keeping with the original game.
Worst Moment: Vanessa’s hallucinations/nightmare. Not very effectively done.
Opening: The death of Charlotte. Really well done.
Closing: Vanessa has been possessed.
Best Line: It’s so easy to become blinded by ambition even with the best of intentions, you don’t see the devil sitting right beside you.
Original review here

Happy Gilmore 2
Ups: Some nice callbacks.
Believable universe.
Weirdly breaks with tradition by talking about how important tradition is.
Pays lovely tributes to those who have passed
Downs: Repetitive.
Feels very low stakes.
Happy Gilmore is kind of an asshole.
Nepotism. So much.
Too many flashbacks to the first movie, almost as if it doesn’t trust you to remember them.
Best Performer: Bad Bunny
Best Moment: The traditional golfers training. Funny and chaotic.
Worst Moment: Happy’s drunken golf with strangers. It’s an incredibly funny scene, and I loved the other characters. But the fact it kept cutting before the cursewords was weird and felt badly done.
Opening: VERY quick “how we got here”. I’m amazed how effective it was. On the downside, Adam Sandlers narration feels like it was delivered during his lunch break. He then kills his wife, but that’s probably for the best considering how he writes love interests.
Closing: The good guys win, the bad guys not only lose but are humiliated. There’s no other way it could have ended.
Best Line: You look like Freddy Krueger worked at a Starbucks.
Original review here

Him
Ups: Violent.
Intense.
Disturbing
Downs: A tonal mess.
Wastes potential.
Best Performer: Tyriq Wathers
Best Moment: Cam (probably) paralyzing someone. Lets you know the commitment needed.
Worst Moment: The party, too visually messy.
Opening: Young Cam watches Isaiah win a game but severely injure himself. Isaiah then comes back from injury and keeps winning at the same level. Wouldn’t it have been more satisfying narratively if that injury effected his career?
Closing: Mass cult murder. Brutal, and fun, but kind of silly.
Best Line: Transitions of power are never peaceful.
Original review here

I Know What You Did Last Summer
Ups: Some nice callbacks to the original.
Quite funny at times.
Downs: Feels dated
Some people won’t appreciate what it does with legacy characters.
Unlikeable characters.
Some embarrassing callbacks.
Best Performer: Sarah Pidgeon
Best Moment: The death of Wyatt.
Worst Moment: The death of Tyler. Doesn’t play into the killers motivations, either of them. One killer wants revenge on her friends, of which Tyler wasn’t one. The other one is annoyed at the town for having forgotten the murders, Tyler was one of the few people talking about the murders.
Opening: An engagement party. The dialogue meant I automatically hated two of the characters, they were insufferable.
Closing: One of the killers is still alive. This is revealed in casual dialogue. Far too casual. “wearing jeans to your wedding” casual. Tone-deaf.
Best Line: Nostalgia is overrated
Original review here

Roofman
Ups: Sweet at times.
Believable romance.
Leighs characterisation is consistent.
Downs: Should have been a Christmas movie.
Feels too desperate to paint him as a nice guy.
Best Performer: Kirsten Dunst.
Best Moment: When we reveal that Leigh set him up. It would have been too unrealistic to not have her do that.
Worst Moment: The pawn shop break-in. Not followed up on
Opening: Jeffrey needs money to provide for his kid (who he soon forgets about) because otherwise she won’t love him. He decides to steal shit.
Closing: Text saying what happened next. He attempted to escape prison.
Best Line: We both know doing things the right way is not your superpower.
Original review here

The Twits
Ups: Does have some genuinely funny lines and moments.
Margo Martindale and Johnny Vegas are good leads.
Important message.
Accurate representation of modern politics.
Downs: Who’s it for?
Unfocused, going from one plot point to the next without them feeling connected. Feels very episodic.
Not the greatest animation.
Best Performer: Character actress Margo Martindale.
Best Moment: A family coming to an orphanage to refuse taking in an orphan out of fear they’re contagious. Truly crosses the line in a way few films dare to.
Worst Moment: The mayor farting. Even for a kids movie, it’s dumb.
Opening: The framing device; the story is being told by two flies in Mr. Twits beard. We see The Twits have built a theme park. Despite being seen as miserable, they sing a happy song.
Closing: The twits don’t die. Shame.
Best Line: “One of the worst liquid hot dog meat floods in the nations history”
Original review here

The Woman In The Yard
Ups: Makes daylight scary.
Sets up its different narrative pieces well.
Good performances.
Unique.
Feels very grounded
Downs: COMPLETELY falls apart in the final third. Like, drops off a cliff.
Best Performer: Peyton Jackson
Best Moment: The first time we see the woman, it feels MADE for posters.
Worst Moment: The attic moments.
Opening: Ramona watches a video of her deceased husband. It’s weird she filmed that moment, but it’s very sweet, and sets up SOOO much very quickly. Sets up what their relationship was like, sets up that they’re having problems fixing problems in the home, even the way she’s watching it sets up that he’s dead. Genius.
Closing: She decides not to commit suicide, the camera shows a painting signed by Ramona, but backwards. Possibly hinting that she DID in fact, commit suicide. Yay, “your children will be better off if you died” is a totally fine message.
Best Line: Today’s the day.
Original review here

Until Dawn
Ups: Some decent kills.
Bloody.
Decent effects
Downs: Switches between overexplanations and being annoyingly vague.
Survival feels more luck-based than as a reward for smart choices.
No reason to exist.
Best Performer: Ella Rubin
Best Moment: The death of one of the monsters.
Worst Moment: The bathroom scene. Don’t get me wrong, it was enjoyable, it was bloody, and it was entertaining. But it also demonstrated how luck-based the whole premise was. For a game based around “your decisions have consequences”, it’s annoying how the choices have no impact. “Don’t drink water or you’ll explode” is not a lesson.
Opening: One of the characters gets murdered, they’re clearly annoyed at this.
Closing: A car pulls up to a snowy cabin. A clear reference to the game, I assume. It’s shot in such a way that it’s obvious it’s SOMETHING, so I can only assume it’s that. Incredibly unsubtle.
Best Line: Is anyone else growing new teeth?
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Two (The Bad)

On By troubledproductionsIn Year round upLeave a comment

Clown In A Cornfield
Ups: Some nice subversive character choices.
Some pretty decent shots; always looks clear.
Downs: Kevin Durand looks like a poundland Elon Musk
Predictable.
Doesn’t build up the villain.
Best Performer: Katie Douglas
Best Moment: The reveal that Cole and Rust are former lovers.
Worst Moment: The parade. Feels weak.
Opening: Party in a cornfield. Well, in a barn next to a cornfield. Close enough. Like all cool parties, there’s a teen playin with a windup doll. Her and a random dude strip off to fuck in a cornfield (feels like that’s how you’d get diseases). They die, obviously.
Closing: A damn sequel hook.
Best Line: You do realize that the ’80s are as far away from me as ’40s were to you, right?
Original review here

Ella McCay
Ups: Charming.
Some interesting moments.
Downs: Too unfocused.
Doing a political comedy this toothless feels cowardly.
Feels dated.
Inconsistent characterisation.
Best Performer: Jamie Lee Curtis
Best Moment: Ella’s freakout/monologue.
Worst Moment: The security working their way into overtime. Mainly because it has the air of something important and monumental, but really it doesn’t matter.
Opening: Narration by Julie Kavner giving us the history of Ella; basically, her dad was a dick.
Closing: Ella has started a non-profit that offers legal aid. Nice, but feels tacked. on.
Best Line:
Original review here

Nosferatu
Ups: Tense
Technically good.
Downs: Dull.
Feels too in debt to the original to really leave its own mark.
Uninteresting characters.
Best Performer: Nicholas Hoult
Best Moment: Orlock on the ship.
Worst Moment: The death of Friedrich feels a bit weird.
Opening: Ellen doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. She awakes an ancient creature and vows to pledge herself to him.
Closing: Nosferatu gets distracted and feeds until sunlight.
Best Line: God is beyond our morals! In vain! In vain! You run in vain! You cannot outrun her destiny! Her dark bond with the beast shall redeem us all, for when the sun’s pure light shall break upon the dawn, redemption! The plague shall be lifted! Redemption!
Original review here

Renner
Ups: Good performances.
Pretty visuals
Downs: Terrible script. I mean, there are moments where the visuals aren’t great, but the major problems (consistency, bad characters, genre confusion) are ALL down to the script, which is poor.
Best Performer: Violett Beane
Best Moment: Just after the monopoly scene there’s a wonderfully lit sequence.
Worst Moment: When he attacks the thieves. Purely because the way its shot (quick flashes whilst he’s asking what to do) makes it come off as a fantasy sequence rather than reality. The visually unclear storytelling happens a few times, but its most clear then.
Opening: I know it’s a common joke to make that the vanity cards that open up films are so long they seem like an actual movie, but the opening credits for this legit seem like a vanity card.
Closing: He gets shot. Reminds me of the original ending of Clerks where Kevin Smith was told “you killed off your character because you have no idea how to end your story”.
Best Line: Do you have a desire that remains unfulfilled because of your non-existent confidence?
Original review here

Silent Night, Deadly Night
Ups: Some decent kills.
Potential
Downs: Too bleak, stopped caring.
Falls apart if you think about it for more than a minute.
Best Performer: Ruby Modine
Best Moment: The many deaths of Nazi’s.
Worst Moment: When they encounter the snatcher. I’m still not sure whether we were supposed to recognise who they were.
Opening: The death of Billy’s grandparent, and parents. Sets up his character well, and pays homage to the original.
Closing: Billy dies, Pam is now the new Billy. So you have a non-white woman taking over a white male role. I’m sure the internet loved that.
Best Line: Punish
Original review here

The Alto Knights
Ups: Fans of the genre will enjoy it.
Well crafted atmosphere.
Good performances.
Suits the period.
Downs: Doesn’t bring anything new.
Maybe should have been made decades ago.
Best Performer: De Niro
Best Moment: Barber shop assassination.
Worst Moment: People testifying in front of congress. It’s edited terribly.
Opening: Frank Costello is shot in an elevator, then explains the history between him and Vito Genovese.
Closing: The Apalachin meeting. Much rather see a film about that.
Original review here

The Electric State
Ups: The robots look spectacular.
Downs: Bland story
They don’t seem like brother/sister. To be honest, the way they react is more like lovers. Hard to explain why.
Chris Pratt REALLY wants to be Harrison Ford doesn’t he?
Best Performer: Millie Bobby Brown
Best Moment: The Christopher reveal. Horrifying.
Worst Moment: The death of Clark Amherst. Has no emotional weight.
Opening: It’s 1990, “before the war”. Well it says “before the war”, but war is on the horizon and humanity already hates robots. Sweet interactions between the sibilings. We then get a background on the world, how robots were invented and came to take part in an uprising. I kind of think the “robot uprising” part of should have come first, the siblings part didn’t accomplish anything that couldn’t have been accomplished better elsewhere.
Closing: The robot character we thought was dead stands up so is still alive. oh no, what a shock.
Best Line: I have a condition where I can only live in reality. Sucks, but you go right ahead!
Original review here

The Toxic Avenger
Ups: Bloody
Fun
Actually helped people.
Downs: Too self-aware at times.
Oddly restrained in parts.
Needs a better soundtrack.
Best Performer: Dinklage
Best Moment: The diner robbery. Political, violent, and fun.
Worst Moment: The random guy in the woods. Mainly because it feels like a diversion.
Opening: Dramatic voiceover, met with quick highlights of what we’re about to see. Perfect for this.
Closing: The bad guys die, good guys win.
Best Line: My God you people are tedious!
Original review here

Y2K
Ups: Full of nostalgia.
Some good music choices.
Downs: A little too dumb.
Some unrealistic deaths.
The main character comes off a bit too “nice guy” at times.
Who is it aimed at?
Best Performer: Rachel Zegler
Best Moment: The sing-along to Tubthumbing. Kind of cute.
Worst Moment: The skating death. After seeing people being impaled and set on fire, a 1 foot drop while skating will always seem shitty.,
Opening: The “internet connection” noise. Then AOL. What ever happened to them? They WERE the internet.
Closing: Five years later, the glitch face appears on an iPod. Because God forbid a horror film be self-contained and not aim for a sequel.
Best Line: You think this’ll work because you saw it in a movie? I think movies have warped your mind. God damn, now I’m sounding like Tipper Gore.
Original review here

Silent Night, Deadly Night (2025) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: Billy is traumatised by the death of his parents, so every December he kills 24 people in the build-up to Christmas, as you do.

There are a lot of iconic horror franchises; I haven’t watched them all. Silent Night, Deadly Night (or SN, DN, pronounced Seen Deen) is one of those I have no history with. I’ve seen the Kill Count videos on them, so I’m aware of them, their memes, characters, and kills. Basically, I have no personal stake in this movie. I’m not going to be personally offended at the changes, but equally, I’m not going to geek out over references beyond just going “I recognise that reference”. The last movie I was in that situation with was Black Christmas, back in 2019. That was the second remake of a Christmas-themed horror franchise that featured a killer named Billy that originated in a realistic 70’s movie, but for the second remake, it decided to make it supernatural and weird. Silent Night, Deadly Night is completely different; it’s based on an 80’s movie.

I am aware of the changes made to the lore, and it would be weird to not comment on them. Basically, the main character in this only kills people because if he doesn’t, a random person will die. So he decides to only kill bad people. Essentially, it’s Dexter Claus. I can see why they did it, and it does lead to a roomfull of nazi’s being brutally murdered in a scene I’m sure we can all hope to see recreated. But it does mean that this becomes the kind of horror film I don’t particularly like: bad things happening to bad people, where we’re supposed to cheer the murderer and think of how cool he is. At no point in this are you scared for any character’s well-being. At no point are you disgusted by the brutal killings. How can you be? If you witness someone go into a room of Nazi’s carrying a weapon, then you’re not going to sit there like “noooooo. Get out of their nazi’s! He’s going to kill you”. It also leads to my other problems; how many fucking killers are in this small town? It’s the kind of horror film which falls apart if you think about it too long. How does nobody notice people being killed? Compare it to Heart Eyes, where we saw news anchors talk about the horror of the killer striking every Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing like that in here. There’s no “every year, a random town in America is struck by a killer in a Santa costume”. It’s almost as if it doesn’t happen. This is most evident in the Nazi scene. A LOT of people die in that; the building is set on fire. It’s NEVER referenced again. There are no “wow, a lot of people didn’t turn up to work today” comments. No news reports about the Nazi paraphernalia that turns out to belong to beloved town figures. It has no impact. Also, if he has the power to see people who are evil, why was it he had no idea there were A LOT of nazi’s in that town? Does the person possessing him not see “being a racist POS who calls for the death of all non-whites” as evil? That’s fucked up.

I am fully aware I’m missing the point of this. This is not meant to be taken seriously. But everyone is allowed personal opinion, and this is not the kind of horror film I’m into. For the kind of people who like that kind of thing, that’s the kind of thing that those people like. But it’s not for me. It’s too dark to be fun, and too ridiculous to be scary. Also, I didn’t buy the romantic part; I saw no reason for her to be into him. Very minor complaint: he gets a job at her shop. It’s a Christmas-themed shop, selling ornaments and baubles etc. He starts there on 20th December. Forget the “he’s haunted by a ghost that tells him who’s naughty, and warns him of danger (unless it’s plot convenient)”, forget the “almost 100 people died in one night, and nobody notices”, him starting a Christmas job that late in December is the most unrealistic part of the whole darn thing.

The performances are okay. Rohan Campbell is fine, but not spectacular. I liked Ruby Modine; she has a weird likability, even when she’s displaying ultraviolence. On the subject of violence, the kills are good. If you like brutal deaths, then you’ll love this. Many of the deaths contain references to the original movie. Fans might not be so pleased with the supernatural elements, and I have a feeling some of them REALLY won’t be pleased with the ending. I can almost hear the “it’s gone woke!” complaints from here. On the plus side, it means that if there is a sequel, it will be guaranteed to be very different.

I kind of hope there is a sequel, as there’s potential. And once the writers stop trying so hard to make it different from the original and instead focus on just telling a coherent story, they could be onto a winner. Because the lore and characters have been established, the next step should be a lot cleaner to execute. So in summary, I really was not a fan of this. It was an overstuffed mess that lacked any sense of identity and was too focused on unlikeable characters. But I’ll still watch a sequel if it comes up. I probably wasn’t helped by the fact that I saw it in an almost empty room, so there wasn’t much audience reaction, which it feels like this film was made for.

Five Nights At Freddy’s 2 (2025) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: One year has passed since the supernatural nightmare at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. Former security guard Mike has kept the truth from his 11-year-old sister, Abby, concerning the fate of her animatronic friends. When Abby sneaks out to reconnect with Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy, she sets into motion a terrifying series of events that reveal dark secrets about the true origin of Freddy’s.

I won’t lie, I could just repost my review of the first movie, SOOOO many of my issues with it are repeated here.

It’s a horror movie without gore, without suspense, and without scares. 

Yup, same here. It’s incredibly neutered. I’m not asking for full hardcore violence, but a little bit of blood and more disturbing sound design would have helped sell the violence.

Piper Rubio outshines all of them, though. She’s only 8 years old but never misses a beat, even when she has to express some relatively complex concepts. I haven’t seen a child perform this well since McKenna Grace in Gifted. Her relationship with her brother and her need for social acceptance are a core part of the narrative of FNAF. The moments where it dwells on that are the strongest parts of the film (that and the animatronic work, which is sublime).

The only part of this that is changed is that Piper Rubio is no longer 8. She’s still the strongest performer by a wide margin. Elizabeth Lail seems to be having an off-day; I know she can give a better performance than this. Also, that mention of McKenna Grace seemed to be weirdly prophetic, as she’s also in this. Not for long enough, though, I hope she has more screamtime (pun intentional) in Scream 7.

Like I said, when it’s not a horror movie, when it’s a family drama dealing with loss, that’s when it’s at its best.

Oh, that’s definitely the case here. The relationship between Mike and Abby is core to why this works. The two are so sweet together; so even when the film itself isn’t that entertaining, it’s just so damn nice to watch the interplay between the two.

The continuity lockout is much bigger for this than it was for the first one. If you’re not familiar with the original games, you’ll struggle to work out why certain things are met with dramatic music, or why some of the sentence structures feel clunky and designed to get certain phrases in. I have a slight knowledge of the games, so I recognised some of the references; but there were a few moments which I recognised as references, but didn’t get the references themselves (like when an American sitcom starts talking about NY politicians).

My biggest issue is the ending; it doesn’t really have one, not in the traditional sense anyway. Not in a “the story is complete and we’ve reached a dramatic conclusion” way. It ends with a character being possessed and about to hunt down everyone. That’s not an ending; that’s the third-act setback that leads to the ending. It feels like they cut an entire section out. I also wasn’t happy that seemingly essential plot points were in the middle of the credits. Not a fan of that, if something is important, it should be in the actual film, credits scenes are for fun stuff, not essential.

In summary, incredibly similar to the first one, but with newer mistakes.