2025 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

Ballerina
Ups: Worthy addition to franchise.
Really creative fight scenes.
Weirdly funny.
Downs: Very dependent on knowledge of previous film.
Needs better music.
Best Performer: Ana De Armas
Best Moment: The hotel staff reaction to the fight.
Worst Moment: Her reunion with her sister, isn’t given enough time to mean anything.
Opening: Her dad is killed by assassins, she gets taken in by Winston. Very fun action sequence. Shows you that the franchise hasn’t lost a step.
Closing: She meets up with a character who was attacked earlier, who I assumed was dead. I feel he should have been.
Best Line: One bullet, well placed, can change the world.
Original review here

Deep Cover
Ups: Funny, very funny.
Downs: Could have better action scenes.
I would have liked to have seen how this affected their lives.
Best Performer: Orlando Bloom
Best Moment: When they sell the albanians drugs back to them.
Worst Moment: When they drunkenly meet her friends, only because the misunderstanding could have been solved easily. It would have made much sense for Hughs colleagues to be the ones met, have him stand up to them.
Opening: A quote about improv comedy. At least its honest. Then car chase. I don’t think the car chase was needed though. I feel it went action too quickly.
Closing: The madcap adventures have improved their lives. Again, would have been nice to see how others reacted; particularly Hughs old colleagues.
Best Line: You’re from the Cotswolds. You’re not Al Pacino
Original review here

Drop
Ups: Stylistically shot.
Compelling story.
Well-developed background characters.
Good chemistry between the leads.
Downs: Not as smart as it could be.
Loses something in the final third.
So many small imperfections.
Best Performer: Meghann Fahy
Best Moment: The way she gets the gun at the end, so smart.
Worst Moment: The written note to the piano player, mainly because it’s difficult to read what it says, which is kind of an important thing to know.
Opening: Interior Night; a woman is being attacked by her abusive husband. It’s weird as the way it’s presented makes it seem like “this is where we are now” and the rest of the film is a flashback.
Closing: A second date is planned. Very cute.
Original review here

Final Destination Bloodlines
Ups: Some great kills.
Actual emotion.
Downs: Keeps hinting at a much better movie.
Best Performer: Gabrielle Rose. At first I was disappointed that they didn’t get a classic Scream Queen to play this part, but god damn is she good.
Best Moment: Tony Todd’s goodbye. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
Worst Moment: The end. Every single one of these films ends the same way, and it’s getting hard to care.
Opening: The same way every one of these starts; a massive catastrophe, only this time in the past. Some great kills, and I like that they didn’t spare the kid, rarely made you realise that nobody is safe. It did change from tradition somewhat by the vision being had by a descendant instead of the actual person.
Closing: They all die.
Best Line: Tony Todds farewell.
Original review here

Freakier Friday
Ups: Will always appreciate Chappel Roan music in a film.
Heartwarming.
Weirdly good British accents from American actors.
Good supporting cast.
Downs: Lohan doesn’t seem to fully buy in at times.
A few too many superflous scenes.
Best Performer: Jamie Lee Curtis
Best Moment: The immigration interview.
Worst Moment: Harper in Anna’s body trying to dance. Mainly because it doesn’t feel like it’s actually Harper.
Opening: “Here’s where the two characters from the first one are now”. Anna tries to wake her daughter Harper using “modern” parenting techniques, not knowing that she’s actually out surfing. There’s a MUCH better opening afterwards.
Closing: Tess finds the picture that was taken of her when Lily was in her body. A nice coda.
Best Line: The school had our pension invested in crypto, but since I’m not supposed to complain about it, per my lawyer, it’s neither here nor there.
Original review here

Freaky Tales
Ups: Manages to be both consistent whilst also being different.
Charming.
Great music, more films should use Operation Ivy and Black Flag songs.
Creatively shot.
Some great messages for audiences. By which I mean, it tells you to punch the shit out of Nazi’s.
Downs: Doesn’t set up the telekinesis well enough.
The ending of the second story isn’t that satisfying.
Best Performer: Pedro
Best Moment: The fight at the punk club. There many fights, but this is the best one.
Worst Moment: The death of the basketball players family. Weirdly subdued compared to the rest.
Opening: “weird shit happens” narration. Sets the tone quickly, especially with the visuals and synth music.
Closing: Sleepys advert, alongside the protagonists of the first two segments. Then a nazi’s head explodes.
Best Line: “if there was secret vampires, we’d be all up in that shit
Original review here

Heads Of State
Ups: Weirdly timely.
Funny.
Actually addresses the “but the Prime Minister isn’t the UK head of state”, although IMDB still bitches about it.
Good chemistry between the leadsH
Downs: Tries to be too smart at times.
Takes a somewhat glib attitude to death.
Best Performer: Idris Elba
Best Moment: The Belarus fight.
Worst Moment: There’s a really bad edit where it cuts to black and silence for a bit too long and without the “oomph” that makes it clear it’s deliberate. Had to rewind it three times to make sure it wasn’t my HDMI cable fucking up.
Opening: Tomato festival. One of those things that I’m sure isn’t as fun as it seems. Quickly devolves into spy stuff, starring none of the two main people advertised. Brave, but it makes sense and works.
Closing: Alliances are reformed. The two are now close friends. Incredibly obvious but this movie isn’t made for subversion, it’s for fun. Thats fine, but then there’s another scene showing Comer survived, and meets up with Bissett. It means nothing and adds nothing. The other scene felt like an actual ending.
Best Line: Yeah, well, based on my experience, okay, hope is just delayed disappointment. Doesn’t put food on the table. Doesn’t put a roof over anyone’s head. And if you want to focus on making people “feel good,” then you’re never gonna understand how to help them.
Original review here

M3gan 2.0
Ups: Bloody fun.
The genre change is the only way this franchise could continue.
Great performances.
Heartwarming
Much smarter than it needs to be.
Downs: Incredibly obvious twist.
Inconsistent tone
Best Performer: Violet McGraw
Best Moment: M3gan stops a home invasion. Not as violent as some of the other scenes, but much more fun.
Worst Moment: The villain reveal. Only because I called it the second the character was introduced.
Opening: AMELIA infiltrates an enemy compound to rescue a hostage. She shoots the hostage. Good showcase of what she can do, and some good action moments.
Closing: M3gan didn’t die, obviously.
Best Line: Did you ever consider the idea that killing me was slightly disproportionate to the crime?
You threatened to rip out my tongue and put me in a wheelchair.
I was upset.
Original review here

Novocaine
Ups: Some fun fight scenes.
Genuinely good mid-movie plot twist.
Does a decent job of showing how not feeling pain can actually be a bad thing.
It’s nice to see Jack Quaid in a movie where his female partner doesn’t end up on fire. Makes a change,
Decent make-up on his burned hand.
Downs: A character reveal was ruined by the trailer.
Very one-note. Like an SNL sketch that goes on too long.
The villains are pretty dull.
Best Performer: Jack Quaid, has to be.
Best Moment: The Torture. Hilarious.
Worst Moment: When he gets his bone broken in the final fight. Mainly because it’s shot in a way that you can’t really tell what’s happening.
Opening: Nathan offers advice to a store owner, allowing him some financial peace for a brief period. It shouts “he’s a good guy” so loud it gave me tinnitus.
Closing: Nathan visits Sherry in prison. Delightful surprise that there are consequences to actions. Always nice to see that in a movie like this.
Original review here

Now You See Me, Now You Don’t
Ups: Incredibly fun.
Foreshadows brilliantly.
Handles all its characters well.
Introduces new characters expertly.
Downs: If you think about some of the moments for more than a second, I’m sure it will fall apart.
Gets a bit too ridiculous at times.
The big twist is too easily telegraphed.
Best Performer: Ariana Greenblatt
Best Moment: As always, the reveal as to how they pulled it off at the end.
Worst Moment: The party in Antwerp. Not bad, but there are moments here which do stretch the credulity.
Opening: Crypto dickbags lose their money. Fun, and displays the talents of the new cast.
Closing: Someone we thought was dead turns out to be alive. It’s weird, he wasn’t really missed from this film.
Best Line: Atlas. What’d your mom have sex with a map?
Original review here

The Running Man
Ups: Some fun action scenes.
Sadly relevant.
Adapts the book brilliantly.
Downs: Not quite as dynamic as the directors other work
No scenes which stand out as particularly noteworthy.
Best Performer: Colman Domingo
Best Moment: Elton and Ben defending Eltons home.
Worst Moment: The hostel fight. It’s good, but there’s something about it which makes me think it could be a lot better.
Opening: Simple set up of the universe. Kind of needed.
Closing: Killian is kill(ian)ed.
Best Line: Do not shake your dick at the crowd. That’s a bad note.
Original review here

Zootropolis 2
Ups: Looks incredible.
Vocal performers are at their best.
Important message
Not many kids films will parody The Shining like this.
Downs: Repeats the first one.
Wastes potentially important stories/characters
Best Performer: Ginnifer Goodwin
Best Moment: When they arrive at Marsh Market. Dynamic, and funny.
Worst Moment: The villain reveal, too obvious.
Opening: Summary of the first one. Weird that the stuff they show us wasn’t that relevant.
Closing: They arrest Dawn Bellweather, who has had no impact.
Best Line: The world will never be a better place if no one is brave enough to do the right thing.
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Seven (The Good)

Captain America: Brave New World
Ups: Answers questions about the previous films.
Feels like part of the universe.
Fun.
Interesting characters.
Develops the wider story.
Downs: Feels more like a Hulk movie.
Suicidally self-destructive marketing campaign.
The continuity lock-out is strong
Best Performer: Carl Lumbly
Best Moment: The original assassination attempt.
Worst Moment: The reveal of Sterns. Have they forgotten how long its been since we’ve seen that character?
Opening: “Heroes break into a building”. Kind of standard at this point. Reminded me of Age Of Ultron.
Closing: Liv Tyler comes back. And the crowd goes mild
Best Line: Steve gave them something to believe in, you give them something to aspire to
Original review here

Good Boy
Ups: Tense
Good central performance.
Downs: Difficult to see it reaching mass appeal
Lack of a traditional exposition device may put some off.
Best Performer: Indy
Best Moment: Todd telling Indy goodbye. Very sweet.
Worst Moment: When the film flat-out says the house is actually haunted. May have worked better if it were ambiguous.
Opening: Todd moves into a cabin. Sets up that he’s ill very quickly.
Closing: Todd dies, and Vera comes to find Indy sitting on his own.
Best Line: You’re a good dog. No. Boy, you can’t save me. You gotta stay here.
Original review here

Good Fortune
Ups: Keanu Reeves is great.
Depressingly relevant.
Very funny.
Downs: Has all the bite of a gummy worm.
Perpetuates the idea that poverty is a moral failing.
Best Performer: Keanu Reeves
Best Moment: Arj inspiring the walkout.
Worst Moment: The way Arj gets fired. Makes him unsympathetic.
Opening: A day in the life of Arj. You can see why he’s exhausted.
Closing: An invisible taco gets eaten. Jeff supports workers rights. All very sweet.
Best Line: I wanted to show him that money wouldn’t solve his problems, but it pretty much solved all his problems.
Original review here

Karate Kid: Legends
Ups: Charming.
Fantastic chemistry between the characters.
Use of music really makes you feel like you’re in New York.
Doesn’t require previous knowledge of the franchise.
Downs: The two leads are paired together too quickly.
Repeats the first movie (at least) too often.
Best Performer: Ben Wang.
Best Moment: Mr. Han and Daniel showing off, repeatedly throwing Li onto the floor.
Worst Moment: The group fight. It should be better.
Opening: Flashback to a previous movie, explaining how the two timelines connect.
Closing: Daniel and Johnny Lawrence discuss opening a pizza place. The only part of the movie which requires previous knowledge.
Best Line: In life, you only have one question. Is it worth fighting for?
Original review here

Mickey17
Ups: Intelligent.
Great performances.
Sorely needed right now.
Kind of sweet.
Very funny.
Downs: Until it suddenly isn’t.
Repeats itself.
Slow. So very slow.
Best Performer: Pattinson
Best Moment: The dinner. Marvellous misdirection.
Worst Moment: The dream sequence near the end.
Opening: We see Mickey die. Then a quick explanation of how he got where he is.
Closing: The cloning machine is destroyed. Before that there’s a dream sequence that grinds momentum to a halt.
Best Line: I’m still good meat! I’m perfectly good meat! I taste fine!
Original review here

Nuremberg
Ups: Tense.
Very educational.
“People who are evil are still people” is an important lesson. That doesn’t diminish how scary they are, if anything it increases it.
Demonstrates exactly why the case was so important.
Downs: The lead performance.
Misses its mark on teaching you more about the other people involved.
Best Performer: Leo Woodall
Best Moment: When Triest reveals his personal history. Sums up the main thesis of the film.
Worst Moment: How the trial ends; feels kind of underwhelming.
Opening: Hermann the German is stopped by US forces. Sets up his sense of entitlement.
Closing: Text saying what happened to everybody. It’s not a happy ending.
Best Line: I am a prisoner because you won and we lost, not because you are morally superior
Original review here

One Of Them Days
Ups: Funny.
Pacey.
Characters (mostly) feel real
Downs: Occasionally, it feels like it’s moving from one skit to the next, rather than a cohesive narrative.
King Lolo doesn’t loom over everything like he should. Compare him to Deebo from the first Friday movie.
A few too many instances of Karma Houdinis.
Best Performer: Keke Palmer
Best Moment: Hmmm, possibly the section at the pay-day loan company. The blood bank scene is up there, but the reality and satirical nature of the loan company just edges it.
Worst Moment: The “break up”. Only because it feels forced.
Opening: Dreux finishes up at work. Shows us exactly how damn good she is at her job, plus demonstrates the relationship between her and Alyssa
Closing: Their rent gets paid and everything goes back to how it was, just without the threat. Yup, pretty much Friday.
Original review here

Relay
Ups: Tense
Nice use of the telecommunications device.
Low on action, in a good way. Characters like this should not be action heroes, their goal is mainly to incapacitate people until they can leave.
Downs: The villain’s plan depends on so many coincidences.
Lily James’ character repeats her motivations in two scenes very close to each other.
Best Performer: Riz Ahmed
Best Moment: Ash’s drinking reveal. Makes so much sense.
Worst Moment: The twist. Too stupid. Adds zero.
Opening: Hoffman hands back some incriminating documents he has. Plays into the ending, which is nice.
Closing: The massive company is legally reprimanded. Bit unrealistic.
Original review here

Spinal Tap 2
Ups: Very funny.
Characters feel like they exist outside of the film.
Downs: Doesn’t establish how well-known they are.
Some jokes don’t feel followed up on.
Best Performer: Christopher Guest
Best Moment: Simon’s reaction to Elton John “do we need the piano?”.
Worst Moment: The tour in the kitchen. Mainly because it doesn’t lead anywhere
Opening: Director talks to camera. Nice way of setting up what’s happened, and makes sense in-universe.
Closing: Stonehenge related disaster. And there’s some great stuff in the credits.
Best Line: We need to secure your legacy. If, during the gig one, but no more than two of you, could die.
Original review here

The Accountant 2
Ups: Great buddy movie.
Very sweet.
Always fun to see people be very competent.
Downs: Bland McGuffin.
Best Performer: I know I should say Affleck, but really I liked Allison Robertson more. I found her so warm.
Best Moment: The army of autistic teens finding out someones identity from a strangers selfie.
Worst Moment: The opening. Mainly because it’s not needed, and doesn’t fit the tone.
Opening: Death of Raymond King. Bland. Could be in any movie, not needed for this one.
Closing: The brothers go on a trip. Very sweet.
Best Line: The fall didn’t kill him. It was the abrupt stop.
Original review here

The Monkey
Ups: Bloody
Fun
Goes deeper with family dynamics than you’d think it would.
Good performances.
Downs: Some weird moments.
There doesn’t seem to be much reaction to the carnage. The characters seem very aware that they’re in a movie, so treat death with not much reverence.
Best Performer: Theo James.
Best Moment: Uncle Chips death.
Worst Moment: Probably Aunt Ida’s death, only because there’s a moment in it that it only happens because the character is an idiot.
Opening: The twins father attempts to return The Monkey. The Monkey has other ideas and decides to harpoon the shopkeeper instead. Fun, bloody, sells the concept well. Could have been called back to later though.
Closing: A bus of cheerleaders die. Funny, but needless and a bit TOO stupid.
Best Line: Everybody dies. Some of us peacefully and in our sleep, and some of us… horribly. And that’s life
Original review here

The Thursday Murder Club
Ups: Charming.
Good mystery.
Downs: Feels dated
A little bit boomer
Side characters aren’t developed enough.
The “ah-ha” moment doesn’t really work.
Best Performer: Pierce Brosnan
Best Moment: How they get Jason out of prison.
Worst Moment: The moment in the florists feels like a diversion.
Opening: Black and white flashback of a murder. Very noire. The Murder Club are discussing it.
Closing: They solve an earlier murder, but by doing so, are responsible for the death of another resident.
Original review here.

The Ugly Stepsister
Ups: Nice perspective on overlooked character.
Disgustingly brutal.
Lead actress is a great screamer.
Downs: Difficult to care about at times.
The other sister could have been fleshed out more.
Best Performer: Lea Myren. But Thea Sofie Loch Ness is close, and definitely wins the “best name” award.
Best Moment: The toes being chopped off. Dark, but kind of funny.
Worst Moment: Tapeworm, looks too silly to be serious.
Opening: An imagine spot of her meeting her prince, feels very much like a standard fairy tale/period drama. I like that, it lures you into false sense of security.
Closing: Happy ending for everyone involved; the cinderella expy gets her prince, the two stepsisters get their freedom, and the mother gets a mouthful of spunk from a party-goer.
Best Line: “You’ve cut the wrong foot”
Original review here

Thunderbolts
Ups: Actual emotion.
I will always love seeing Geraldine Viswananathan and Julia Louis-Dreyfus on screen.
Downs: Much like Netflix, it needs more Taskmaster.
The continuity lockout is getting insane.
Doesn’t juggle the characters that well. Ghost, in particular, is so underutilised that she’s only mentioned 4 times in the entire plot section on Wikipedia, and three of those are just “she’s part of this group”.
Best Performer: Wyatt Russell
Best Moment: The fight in the void.
Worst Moment: When the kid “dies”. Mainly because it reveals that the people shadowed away to oblivion weren’t actually dead, there’s no way Disney/Marvel would kill a young child in that manner.
Opening: Yelena destroys a facility. There is also a moment before that where she has the cliche “I always thought….” style narration
Closing: The group are officially titled the New Avengers. Feels slightly forced.
Best Line: The most shameful thing of all was thinking that you could be anything more than nothing.
Original review here

Weapons
Ups: Interesting story
Good performances.
Downs: The way the narrative told does mean that it occasionally feels like it’s stuttering instead of flowing.
The town doesn’t feel real.
Best Performer: Amy Madigan
Best Moment: Marcus killing his partner. The first time we truly see the power the witch has.
Worst Moment: Donna attacking Justine. Felt like it was purely there for a Lewton bus.
Opening: Narration over a blank screen. Not off to a good start.
Closing: More narration.
Best Line:  I can make your parents hurt themselves. I can make them hurt each other. I can make them eat each other if I want to. Do I want to, Alex?
Original review here

Rental Family (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: Struggling to find purpose, an American actor lands an unusual gig with a Japanese agency to play stand-in roles for strangers. As he immerses himself in his clients’ worlds, he begins to form genuine bonds that blur the lines between performance and reality.

Thoughts Going In: None, it was a secret screening, and I assumed it would be Saipan.

If you think about this movie for more than a minute, it falls apart. Not just one or two moments. I mean, the entire premise falls apart. He’s in Japan because he received an acting job there years ago, so why would the Rental Family company hire him to pretend to be someone else for different families? They must know that at least one person will go “hang on, I’ve seen you on TV” and find him on IMDB, and thus find out his real name. Unsurprisingly, that does happen. Yes, it was just an advert (and a few TV shows), but if Barry Scott from the Cillit Bang adverts turned up at a pet shop in Cardiff, a few customers would notice. There are a few other issues I have with RF: the two subplots of him pretending to be a fan of a female performing duo and playing video games with a male shut-in just disappear. Would it have been too much of a stretch to have him take the shut-in to see the singers and have him befriend one of the women? So they have a genuine fan, and he has a reason to leave the house. There’s also another character who is clearly important to Phillip, yet is only in two scenes and really isn’t given enough to do. Overall, it’s a mess which doesn’t do enough to flesh out most of its characters.

So why did I like it so much? Even as deeply flawed as it is, it’s really hard to not feel charmed by it. There are two main relationships Phillip has as part of his job: one with retired actor Kikuo Hasegawa (Akira Emoto), and one with a schoolgirl called Mia (Shannon Mahina Gorman). With Kikuo, Phillip has to pretend to be a journalist making a profile of him. With Mia, he has to pretend to be her father who abandoned her, because the school that her mother wants her to attend is very old-fashioned and needs to believe Mia is part of a traditional family (again, not sure how this will work once she’s there and tells teachers her dad left again). Both allow him to display different sides of his personality and background. It is somewhat strange that they don’t overlap at all, but that’s maybe my brain being wired by too many episodes of Seinfeld, where two separate plots meeting at the end was one of their trademarks.

They’re both emotional as hell, and both end up as you’d expect them to. It’s really not a surprise that the old actor with dementia will die, and it’s also not a surprise that Mia will find out the truth. But if you go into a film like this expecting to be surprised, you have the wrong mindset. This isn’t a movie for plot twists and surprises; it’s a movie to sit back and watch, allow it to emotionally wrap itself around you in a comforting embrace. It’s not a film to challenge you; it just makes you happy, makes you sad, then makes you happy again. That’s not to say it’s stupid or simple. A lot is going on with the workers of the Rental Family company, but I wish that stuff were given more time, as some of it doesn’t really have enough time to land emotionally: Aiko’s arc, where she gradually gets tired of being yelled at and called a whore by random women because the husbands are too weak, feels like it could have been explored more. I would like to have seen more of Shinji, his boss, but I’m not sure how that could have been done without exposing his secret early.

In summary, flawed brilliance.

2025 In Film: Day 6 (The Thoroughly Okay)

A Complete Unknown
Ups: Good performances.
Sells the time period it’s set in.
Killer soundtrack
Good chemistry between the leads.
Downs: Incredibly unfocused script
Doesn’t really tell you much about who he was.
The narrative doesn’t build effectively to the end.
Best Performer: Scoot McNairy
Best Moment: The first performance of “The Times They Are A-Changin”
Worst Moment: Dylan and Sylvie’s final meeting. Lacks the emotion needed for it to work.
Opening: Dylan travels to see Woody Guthrie in a hospital. Therein lies the problem; it assumes you already know who Woody Guthrie is and why he’s a big deal.
Closing: Johnny Cash approves of Dylans’ actions at the festival. Pretty cool moment, but doesn’t feel like it really closes anything.
Best Line: It was the Newport Folk Festival then, Bob, and it still is the Newport *Folk* Festival! Not the teen dream, Brill Building, Top Forty British Invasion Festival — a *Folk* festival. Do you even remember folk music, Bob?
Original review here

Elio
Ups: Looks incredible.
Very sweet at times.
Some of the aliens are fantastic.
Downs: Underwritten side characters.
They can do better.
Best Performer: Yonas Kibreab
Best Moment: Olga investing.
Worst Moment: Elio showed the Communiverse. Mostly fine, but the backdrop looks a little fake and disconnected.
Opening: Elio is at a diner, hiding under a table as his Auntie tries to get him to eat. Establishes that his parents are dead (because it is still a Disney movie, so dead parents are a necessity), and how isolated he feels.
Closing: People rush out to see aliens. Very beautiful.
Best Line: Since the dawn of time, humans have gazed at the stars and wondered… are we alone? Voyager is our attempt to find out. This intrepid explorer is on a mission, traveling farther than any human has ever gone, to the distant reaches of the cosmos and beyond. Voyager will never see those who made it again. It will drift on, solitary and alone. But maybe one day, distant worlds will receive its message, and Voyager will complete its mission, proving we aren’t so alone after all.
Original review here

Fear Street: Prom Queen
Ups: Doesn’t skimp on the blood.
Era-appropriate.
I will ALWAYS love seeing Katherine Waterston in things.
Downs: It takes too long for certain characters to realise things.
Best Performer: Katherine Waterston
Best Moment: The prom massacre. Violent carnage.
Worst Moment: The dance-off. Feels out of character.
Opening: Narration of “everyone always said I’d either be dead or a killer by graduation, I guess they were right”, blood dripping off a crown, and cool synth music. Yup, sold.
Closing: Someone gets bludgeoned with a trophy. Nicely thematic way to end their life, and I liked that they didn’t die immediately. They collapse, there’s not that much blood, but you can tell by the way they’re speaking that their brain is fucked.
Original review here

Friendship
Ups: Delightfully awkward.
Allows performers to spread their wings.
Downs: The fact he’s recovering from illness doesn’t come up as much as it should.
It WILL be a difficult watch for some.
Ingrid Goes West did it better
Best Performer: Paul Rudd
Best Moment: He meets his neighbours friends. It does not go well.
Worst Moment: The “welcome back” party. Most of his reactions are stupid, but you can kind of understand them. Here? It’s a little harder.
Opening: An awkward help group.
Closing: A hostage wig disaster. Nope, not giving you more information or context.
Best Line: Look, we had a couple of really nice hangs, but I think it best that we go our separate ways. I don’t wish to continue this friendship at the moment.
Original review here

Here
Ups: Unique idea.
Stunning visuals.
Downs: You’re constantly looking for the next scene to start instead of living in the moment.
A lot of wasted time.
The story is trying too hard to move you
Best Performer: Tom Hanks.
Best Moment: The dementia reveal. It’s built up beautifully.
Worst Moment: The modern family. Mainly because it feels like a massive waste of time.
Opening: The house is built. Really its the only way it could open.
Closing: We see outside the house for the first time. Cute, and really the only way it could end. But ties into my theory that the concept was more important than the narrative.
Best Line: I put things off, and I kept putting them off. And I would say, “Oh, we’ll do it next year.” And then that next year would come, and I’d say, “Oh, next year, next year.” And…
Original review here

Saturday Night
Ups: Fascinating time piece.
From a technical perspective, it’s fascinating to see what goes into the making of a show.
Fun to see moments you recognise and get a glimpse at the build-up to them.
Downs: Assumes you know everything already.
Such a cluttered cast that many aren’t given time to shine.
Best Performer: Cory Michael Smith
Best Moment: The argument with the censor.
Worst Moment: Meeting Alan Zweibel. He is a big deal, and very important to SNL. But we’re not given a reason as to why. It assumes we already know, and that moment will be met with “yes! Finally!” like Freddy Mercury joining Queen.
Opening: Lorne arrives at the studio, showing a mix of nervousness and cockiness. Jumps into the plot very quickly, which I appreciate.
Closing: The show starts. Would have appreciated seeing the culmination of what we’ve been building towards. Even if it is just snippets.
Best Line: Art is but a measure of sacrifice and tears
Original review here

September 5
Ups: It’s always good to see people being really good at their job.
Interesting behind-the-scenes look at the event.
Downs: Feels like propaganda at times.
None of the characters feel haunted by their own choices.
Best Performer: John Magaro
Best Moment: The FANTASTIC rug pull at the end when the truth of what happened to the hostages is revealed.
Worst Moment: “Wait, are they watching this?” Because they don’t feel particularly troubled by it. They realise the hostage-takers are using the footage they’re shooting to keep abreast of developments, and at no point show guilt that they exacerbated the situation.
Opening: The crew is setting up for the day. Considering it’s about a specific day, you have to start at the beginning of that day. I’d have preferred a faux documentary to keep us up to date with the political landscape at the time. We’re thrown into it with no knowledge of what led to the events.
Closing: He’s told he did a good job. Despite alerting the attackers to the police plans, exposing their viewpoints to a worldwide audience, and providing false hope. But those ratings.
Best Line: “So I… I don’t know about the Israelis, but David Berger’s folks are in Ohio, so I’m pretty sure they’ll watch.”
“Then tell them not to watch it”
Mainly because it demonstrates their shitness.
Original review here

Shelby Oaks
Ups: Incredibly creepy.
Rife with lore, all the characters feel real, as does the world they live in.
Downs: Loses focus in the final third.
Not as interesting once it stops being found-footage.
Best Performer: Camille Sullivan.
Best Moment: The format switch. Genius.
Worst Moment: The final showdown in the house, feels too much like a Conjuring movie.
Opening: An explanation of Riley’s disappearance. Exactly how a story like this should begin.
Closing: The death of Riley. It’s a bit of a bummer that we spend so long looking for this character, only for her to die.
Original review here

Springsteen: Deliver Me From Nowhere
Ups: Reminds you just how good Springsteen is.
An important look at men’s mental health issues.
The weird shit? That all happened.
Downs: Invents a character, seemingly just to make Springsteen look like a dick.
Seems to be deliberately avoiding a mass audience.
Avoids a lot of what you want to see.
Best Performer: Jeremy Allen White
Best Moment: When he plays at a local club. It really captures the energy of those smaller gigs.
Worst Moment: The end of his relationship with Faye. He does not come out of that looking good.
Opening: Bruce is on top of the world, which only fuels his anxieties about what to do next. Interesting move, to have him already be a big deal, skipping the usual biopic tropes.
Closing: A “what happened next”. Turns out, Springsteen became quite successful.
Original review here

The Ballad Of Wallis Island
Ups: Much more sedate than you’d think it would be.
Carey Mulligan is lovely.
Downs: The ending switch doesn’t seem as genuine as it could.
Ultimately, rather forgettable.
Best Performer: Tim Key
Best Moment: The peanut butter cup
Worst Moment: Michael chewing out Herb (not literally). Doesn’t seem like the kind of cruelness that character would do.
Opening: Herb arrives at an island, disappointed that there’s no harbour and he has to swim to shore.
Closing: He plays the gig, but for free. Very sweet. Also, very telling that for the song in the closing credits, he chooses his real name, not his recording name.
Best Line: “saying my own name isn’t name-dropping”
Original review here

The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
Ups: Incredibly disturbing at times.
Some great performances.
Downs: Reveal isn’t set up as well as it could be.
Feels a bit pointless.
Doesn’t know what to do with its own revelations.
Best Performer: Maika Monroe
Best Moment: The villain reveal. Truly chilling.
Worst Moment: The lead-up to the baseball bat death could have been shortened by a second. Also, the sex scene felt a bit superfluous.
Opening: A very cinematic fire.
Closing: The daughter has copied Polly’s mannerisms.
Original review here

The Long Walk
Ups: Tense
The Barkovitch characterisation is intriguing.
Brutal and unforgiving.
Great performances
Downs: Could have done with more background into the world.
The central concept doesn’t ring true.
Best Performer: David Jonsson
Best Moment: Ray meets his mothers on the walk. Heartbreaking.
Worst Moment: When they walk up a hill. Mainly because it feels like a cheap way for the film to kill large groups of people.
Opening: Ray is being driven to the walk. Feels a bit of a shit move to make people so poor they’d risk death have to fund their own way to a random part of the country.
Closing: Peter keeps walking after killing the major. Makes sense, but feels a bit sudden.
Best Line: You walk as long as you can. But sometimes the body won’t listen. For some, your heart will stop. For others, your brain. And the blood will flow… suddenly. There’s one winner and no finish line.
Original review here

The Penguin Lessons
Ups: Very emotional.
Cute moments.
Political, but in a way that people might not notice.
Downs: We don’t really know that much about him before he gets the penguin. Which lessens the supposed impact.
Best Performer: Steve Coogan
Best Moment: When Tom meets the militant who “arrested” Sofia.
Worst Moment: The journey to Uruguay. Not a bad scene, but not necessary.
Opening: Tom arrives at his new school, and his shoes are immediately ruined by someone painting over revolutionary graffiti, accompanied by explosions in a nearby city centre.
Closing: We see real footage of the penguin swimming in the pool. Very sweet.
Best Line: I can handle when bad people are bad, but when good people do nothing (CHECK LATER)
Original review here

Time Travel Is Dangerous
Ups: Funny.
Likeable leads.
Depressingly accurate for those of us who have worked in secondhand shops.
Downs: Not that interesting when it goes away from the main characters
Sometimes forgets its own format.
Best Performer: Megan Stevenson
Best Moment: When Ruth becomes a teenager.
Worst Moment: The game. It’s not bad, but it feels like it should be better, with more historical injokes.
Opening: Sets up the story almost immediately. “So we brought it inside, then went to 1945”
Closing: A new inventors headquarters is open. We get to see some of the inventions talked about throughout the film, which would have had more of an impact if we haven’t already seen them. It then goes on, and we see they’ve used the dimension as storage space.
Original review here

Together
Ups: Creepy.
Looks fantastic.
Downs: Loses steam at parts
Characters don’t behave realistically.
Best Performer: Dave Franco
Best Moment: His declaration of love before he attempts suicide. It feels so damn real.
Worst Moment: When she refuses to test it by placing her hand near his. It’s one of those “this would instantly answer questions and stop momentum if she does it” moments, but it can’t give her a decent reason not to do it.
Opening: Flashlight searching in the woods. As in, searching with flashlights, not searching for them. Someone stumbles across two dogs fused together. I get what they were going for, but it looks kind of goofy.
Closing: They fuse together, pretty sure they put this in the trailer, kind of ruins it a bit.
Best Line: It’s called diazepam now! It works quicker if you snort it!
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Four (Could Be Better)

All Happy Families
Ups: Cosy
Interesting points to make.
Downs: Really loses focus at the end.
Kind of reminds me of Arrested Development, and when you make that comparison, you can’t win.
Best Performer: Becky Ann Baker
Best Moment: When his brother tries to explain what actually happened and why he was accused of sexual misconduct.
Worst Moment: A moment which isn’t there; the bit before the end. It definitely feels like something is missing there.
Opening: Tolstoy quote. Letting you know this film is either going to be really smart, or really pretentious.
Closing: He kisses the girl, his mum goes for a drive, his dad is wistful, as is his brother. The audience is left with a sense of missing something
Original review here

Avatar: Fire And Ash
Ups: Looks beautiful.
Some good action sequences.
Fleshes out the world a bit more
Downs: Very similar to the second one.
Isn’t a marked improvement.
Far too long.
F*cking Spider. Why do they like him so much?
Best Performer: Oona Chaplin
Best Moment: The attack on the human base.
Worst Moment: The drugged sequence. I can see why it’s there, and it is good, but it’s kind of goofy.
Opening: The family decide it’s not safe for Spider to stay with them. Makes sense, but it really skips past why anybody suddenly gives a shit about him considering he saved the villain in the last movie.
Closing: Spider is welcomed into the Na’vi. So he’s gonna play a bigger part in the sequel.
Best Line: I am the fire! By my hand, my people grow strong! We do not bend down and die just because Eywa turns her back on us! We turn our back on Eywa! A weak mother, her weak children. We do not suck on the breast of weakness.
Original review here

How To Train Your Dragon
Ups: Looks magnificent.
The dragons look terrifying.
Good performances.
Downs: Utterly pointless.
Some of the side characters aren’t given enough to do.
Best Performer: Gerard Butler
Best Moment: First flight. Just as good as it was in the animated version.
Worst Moment: When he shoots down the night dragon.
Opening: Narration, pretty much exactly how the original opened.
Closing: Hiccup loses his leg, which was careless.
Best Line: You just gestured to all of me.
Original review here

Love Hurts
Ups: Some fun fights.
Ke Huy Quan
Funny
Downs: Missing “that” scene. The one that takes it from good to great.
One of the romance subplots feels a little forced.
We never really get the sense that he was dangerous in his past life.
Best Performer: Ke Huy Quan
Best Moment: Jeff’s death is funny and inappropriate.
Worst Moment:
Opening: Introduction to Marvin. His character would not work if it was played by anyone other than Ke Huy Quan. The opening is a good indication of that, he’s so pure.
Closing: Marvin admits he loves Rose. Obviously.
Original review here

Presence
Ups: Tense.
Good message
A believable look at a family suffering.
Downs: Dull. So dull.
Mismarketed
Best Performer: Lucy Liu
Best Moment: The bedroom destruction
Worst Moment: The ending.
Opening: POV shot of someone looking around a house in the dark. Kind of feels like you’re playing a video game.
Closing: We find out that the ghost is actually the son, travelling back in time. We find this out because for some reason, after fulfilling his duties, he stuck around for a few days.
Best Line: Have you ever noticed how your advice always corresponds exactly with us not having to do anything, at all?
Original review here

Snow White
Ups: Looks fantastic.
Downs: The Dwarves (sorry, “magical beings”) are kind of annoying.
Gal Gadot.
The songs aren’t great.
We don’t get a good enough sense of how disastrous the land is under the Queens leadership.
Best Performer: Rachel Zegler
Best Moment: When Snow White approaches the castle with her followers. Incredibly Les Mis.
Worst Moment: The evil queen destroys the mirror, thereby destroying herself. She’s not smart.
Opening: Some cute animals open a book, then narration
Closing: Snow White inspires an overthrow of the Queen, who then magically dies in a kind of body-horror way.
Best Line: “The name’s Jonathan, Princess. Not Jonathan Princess, just Jonathan. Princess”
Original review here

The Second Act
Ups: Creative. There truly is nothing else like this.
Ambitious.
Some great dialogue.
Downs: REALLY loses momentum in the final third.
The very notion of its metaness will put a lot of people off.
Best Performer: Léa Seydoux
Best Moment: The opening conversation, lets you know what you’re in for. Should have been the opening instead of the restaurant set up.
Worst Moment: The gunshot. The moment itself isn’t bad, but it was the moments just after this that the film tried to be a bit too clever and ended up getting lost.
Opening: A gentleman tidies up the building.
Closing: Miles and miles of tracking equipment.
Best Line: “You can’t say that, we’re being filmed”
Original review here

Warfare
Ups: Tense.
Realistic.
Downs: Doesn’t really have a narrative.
Annoyingly unpolitical.
No way for the casual audience to buy in.
Best Performer: Will Poulter
Best Moment: The vehicle explosion.
Worst Moment: Most of the opening third.
Opening: The army dudes watch a music video then break into a family’s house and hold them hostage so they can use the building. Sorry, “commandeer a building for tactical use”. Done just to establish the time period. If it started with them in the house, it wouldn’t affect the story at all.
Closing: They leave. The insurgents make their way out of hiding. We’re then shown photos of the actual people involved, nice, but weirdly it shows some of them with their faces blurred out. So…….why show the photos at all?
Best Line: “I’m fucked up”. Nice to see male characters admit that.
Original review here

Wolf Man
Ups: Violent
Some decent transformation sequences.
Characters have depth.
Interesting look at generational trauma.
Actual emotion.
Downs: The reason for the transformation feels off.
Looks goofy at times.
Predictable.
Best Performer:  Julia Garner
Best Moment: The switch from reality to his perspective, incredible.
Worst Moment: Blake realising his father is the Wolf Man, mainly because it’s obvious.
Opening: Young Blake goes hunting with his dad. Shows why he is like he is.
Closing: He’s in pain and gets shot. Best way it could have ended, had actual emotion.
Best Line: Sometimes when you’re a daddy, you’re so scared of your kids getting scars that you become the thing that scars them
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Three (The Too Flawed)

A Minecraft Movie
Ups: Fans of the franchise will love it.
The cast are fully into it.
Some good music.
Downs: No appeal to those who aren’t fans of the video game.
Jack Black and Jason Momoa probably should have swapped roles.
Even for a kids movie; far too dumb.
Best Performer: Jason Momoa.
Best Moment: The minecart escape.
Worst Moment: The title drop, it’s far too dumb.
Opening: Steve wants to mine but can’t as is a child, he comes back as an adult. Overly long, plus I feel it would have made more sense if he first arrived in the other dimension as a child, would have explained how he became so good at building.
Closing: Everybody wins and is happy. The song they play isn’t as good as they think it is.
Best Line:
Original review here

Black Phone 2
Ups: Great music.
Unique visual style.
Downs: Doesn’t really feel like a natural progression.
Completely unnecessary.
Best Performer: Ethan Hawke
Best Moment: Gwen calls out Finn and her dad. Is the only time it feels more than a horror movie.
Worst Moment: The opening
Opening: A young girl makes a phone call. Doesn’t really look like the rest of the film. Does come back later and tie into the narrative, which is a plus. But isn’t something that will hook people in. Plus, the central performance isn’t great.
Closing: The kids bodies are found and are used to help defeat the grabber. Very similar to the first movie.
Best Line: Oh, Finney. You of all people know that “dead” is just a word.
Original review here

Bring Her Back
Ups: Intense.
Terrifying at times.
Downs: Characters act very dumb at times.
Veers from holding the audiences hand to pushing them into a dark room.
Logically muddled.
Best Performer: Sally Hawkins
Best Moment: Oliver eating a knife. Disturbing as hell.
Worst Moment: The death of Andy. Doesn’t feel earned, doesn’t add to the narrative, feels a bit cheap.
Opening: Incredibly creepy cult footage. Sets the tone well. But leaves questions that the movie refuses to answer.
Closing: Laura carries Cathy’s corpse into the pool and cradles it as the police arrive. The best way it could have ended. I did fear it was going to end with her winning.
Best Line: I’m going to drown you, love.
Original review here

Die My Love
Ups: The two central performances are pretty damn good at times.
More films need to be made about postnatal depression.
Downs: Difficult to figure out what is real at times.
Bad background characters.
Seems like it doesn’t want you to like the characters
Best Performer: Jennifer Lawrence
Best Moment: The build up to the initial sex scene. You genuinely believe they love each other.
Worst Moment: The wedding, none of them come out of it looking good.
Opening: They move into a house, then have sex. Slow-paced.
Closing: They start a fire in the forest, which was alluded to earlier in the film.
Best Line: A thing you love is suffering.
Original review here

Five Nights At Freddy’s 2
Ups: Expands the universe.
The marionette.
The animatronics are great.
The central relationship is still incredibly sweet.
Downs: Feels too neutered.
In debt to much better films.
Best Performer: Piper Rubio
Best Moment: Mike monitoring the animatronics’ movements. Very much in keeping with the original game.
Worst Moment: Vanessa’s hallucinations/nightmare. Not very effectively done.
Opening: The death of Charlotte. Really well done.
Closing: Vanessa has been possessed.
Best Line: It’s so easy to become blinded by ambition even with the best of intentions, you don’t see the devil sitting right beside you.
Original review here

Happy Gilmore 2
Ups: Some nice callbacks.
Believable universe.
Weirdly breaks with tradition by talking about how important tradition is.
Pays lovely tributes to those who have passed
Downs: Repetitive.
Feels very low stakes.
Happy Gilmore is kind of an asshole.
Nepotism. So much.
Too many flashbacks to the first movie, almost as if it doesn’t trust you to remember them.
Best Performer: Bad Bunny
Best Moment: The traditional golfers training. Funny and chaotic.
Worst Moment: Happy’s drunken golf with strangers. It’s an incredibly funny scene, and I loved the other characters. But the fact it kept cutting before the cursewords was weird and felt badly done.
Opening: VERY quick “how we got here”. I’m amazed how effective it was. On the downside, Adam Sandlers narration feels like it was delivered during his lunch break. He then kills his wife, but that’s probably for the best considering how he writes love interests.
Closing: The good guys win, the bad guys not only lose but are humiliated. There’s no other way it could have ended.
Best Line: You look like Freddy Krueger worked at a Starbucks.
Original review here

Him
Ups: Violent.
Intense.
Disturbing
Downs: A tonal mess.
Wastes potential.
Best Performer: Tyriq Wathers
Best Moment: Cam (probably) paralyzing someone. Lets you know the commitment needed.
Worst Moment: The party, too visually messy.
Opening: Young Cam watches Isaiah win a game but severely injure himself. Isaiah then comes back from injury and keeps winning at the same level. Wouldn’t it have been more satisfying narratively if that injury effected his career?
Closing: Mass cult murder. Brutal, and fun, but kind of silly.
Best Line: Transitions of power are never peaceful.
Original review here

I Know What You Did Last Summer
Ups: Some nice callbacks to the original.
Quite funny at times.
Downs: Feels dated
Some people won’t appreciate what it does with legacy characters.
Unlikeable characters.
Some embarrassing callbacks.
Best Performer: Sarah Pidgeon
Best Moment: The death of Wyatt.
Worst Moment: The death of Tyler. Doesn’t play into the killers motivations, either of them. One killer wants revenge on her friends, of which Tyler wasn’t one. The other one is annoyed at the town for having forgotten the murders, Tyler was one of the few people talking about the murders.
Opening: An engagement party. The dialogue meant I automatically hated two of the characters, they were insufferable.
Closing: One of the killers is still alive. This is revealed in casual dialogue. Far too casual. “wearing jeans to your wedding” casual. Tone-deaf.
Best Line: Nostalgia is overrated
Original review here

Roofman
Ups: Sweet at times.
Believable romance.
Leighs characterisation is consistent.
Downs: Should have been a Christmas movie.
Feels too desperate to paint him as a nice guy.
Best Performer: Kirsten Dunst.
Best Moment: When we reveal that Leigh set him up. It would have been too unrealistic to not have her do that.
Worst Moment: The pawn shop break-in. Not followed up on
Opening: Jeffrey needs money to provide for his kid (who he soon forgets about) because otherwise she won’t love him. He decides to steal shit.
Closing: Text saying what happened next. He attempted to escape prison.
Best Line: We both know doing things the right way is not your superpower.
Original review here

The Twits
Ups: Does have some genuinely funny lines and moments.
Margo Martindale and Johnny Vegas are good leads.
Important message.
Accurate representation of modern politics.
Downs: Who’s it for?
Unfocused, going from one plot point to the next without them feeling connected. Feels very episodic.
Not the greatest animation.
Best Performer: Character actress Margo Martindale.
Best Moment: A family coming to an orphanage to refuse taking in an orphan out of fear they’re contagious. Truly crosses the line in a way few films dare to.
Worst Moment: The mayor farting. Even for a kids movie, it’s dumb.
Opening: The framing device; the story is being told by two flies in Mr. Twits beard. We see The Twits have built a theme park. Despite being seen as miserable, they sing a happy song.
Closing: The twits don’t die. Shame.
Best Line: “One of the worst liquid hot dog meat floods in the nations history”
Original review here

The Woman In The Yard
Ups: Makes daylight scary.
Sets up its different narrative pieces well.
Good performances.
Unique.
Feels very grounded
Downs: COMPLETELY falls apart in the final third. Like, drops off a cliff.
Best Performer: Peyton Jackson
Best Moment: The first time we see the woman, it feels MADE for posters.
Worst Moment: The attic moments.
Opening: Ramona watches a video of her deceased husband. It’s weird she filmed that moment, but it’s very sweet, and sets up SOOO much very quickly. Sets up what their relationship was like, sets up that they’re having problems fixing problems in the home, even the way she’s watching it sets up that he’s dead. Genius.
Closing: She decides not to commit suicide, the camera shows a painting signed by Ramona, but backwards. Possibly hinting that she DID in fact, commit suicide. Yay, “your children will be better off if you died” is a totally fine message.
Best Line: Today’s the day.
Original review here

Until Dawn
Ups: Some decent kills.
Bloody.
Decent effects
Downs: Switches between overexplanations and being annoyingly vague.
Survival feels more luck-based than as a reward for smart choices.
No reason to exist.
Best Performer: Ella Rubin
Best Moment: The death of one of the monsters.
Worst Moment: The bathroom scene. Don’t get me wrong, it was enjoyable, it was bloody, and it was entertaining. But it also demonstrated how luck-based the whole premise was. For a game based around “your decisions have consequences”, it’s annoying how the choices have no impact. “Don’t drink water or you’ll explode” is not a lesson.
Opening: One of the characters gets murdered, they’re clearly annoyed at this.
Closing: A car pulls up to a snowy cabin. A clear reference to the game, I assume. It’s shot in such a way that it’s obvious it’s SOMETHING, so I can only assume it’s that. Incredibly unsubtle.
Best Line: Is anyone else growing new teeth?
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day Two (The Bad)

Clown In A Cornfield
Ups: Some nice subversive character choices.
Some pretty decent shots; always looks clear.
Downs: Kevin Durand looks like a poundland Elon Musk
Predictable.
Doesn’t build up the villain.
Best Performer: Katie Douglas
Best Moment: The reveal that Cole and Rust are former lovers.
Worst Moment: The parade. Feels weak.
Opening: Party in a cornfield. Well, in a barn next to a cornfield. Close enough. Like all cool parties, there’s a teen playin with a windup doll. Her and a random dude strip off to fuck in a cornfield (feels like that’s how you’d get diseases). They die, obviously.
Closing: A damn sequel hook.
Best Line: You do realize that the ’80s are as far away from me as ’40s were to you, right?
Original review here

Ella McCay
Ups: Charming.
Some interesting moments.
Downs: Too unfocused.
Doing a political comedy this toothless feels cowardly.
Feels dated.
Inconsistent characterisation.
Best Performer: Jamie Lee Curtis
Best Moment: Ella’s freakout/monologue.
Worst Moment: The security working their way into overtime. Mainly because it has the air of something important and monumental, but really it doesn’t matter.
Opening: Narration by Julie Kavner giving us the history of Ella; basically, her dad was a dick.
Closing: Ella has started a non-profit that offers legal aid. Nice, but feels tacked. on.
Best Line:
Original review here

Nosferatu
Ups: Tense
Technically good.
Downs: Dull.
Feels too in debt to the original to really leave its own mark.
Uninteresting characters.
Best Performer: Nicholas Hoult
Best Moment: Orlock on the ship.
Worst Moment: The death of Friedrich feels a bit weird.
Opening: Ellen doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. She awakes an ancient creature and vows to pledge herself to him.
Closing: Nosferatu gets distracted and feeds until sunlight.
Best Line: God is beyond our morals! In vain! In vain! You run in vain! You cannot outrun her destiny! Her dark bond with the beast shall redeem us all, for when the sun’s pure light shall break upon the dawn, redemption! The plague shall be lifted! Redemption!
Original review here

Renner
Ups: Good performances.
Pretty visuals
Downs: Terrible script. I mean, there are moments where the visuals aren’t great, but the major problems (consistency, bad characters, genre confusion) are ALL down to the script, which is poor.
Best Performer: Violett Beane
Best Moment: Just after the monopoly scene there’s a wonderfully lit sequence.
Worst Moment: When he attacks the thieves. Purely because the way its shot (quick flashes whilst he’s asking what to do) makes it come off as a fantasy sequence rather than reality. The visually unclear storytelling happens a few times, but its most clear then.
Opening: I know it’s a common joke to make that the vanity cards that open up films are so long they seem like an actual movie, but the opening credits for this legit seem like a vanity card.
Closing: He gets shot. Reminds me of the original ending of Clerks where Kevin Smith was told “you killed off your character because you have no idea how to end your story”.
Best Line: Do you have a desire that remains unfulfilled because of your non-existent confidence?
Original review here

Silent Night, Deadly Night
Ups: Some decent kills.
Potential
Downs: Too bleak, stopped caring.
Falls apart if you think about it for more than a minute.
Best Performer: Ruby Modine
Best Moment: The many deaths of Nazi’s.
Worst Moment: When they encounter the snatcher. I’m still not sure whether we were supposed to recognise who they were.
Opening: The death of Billy’s grandparent, and parents. Sets up his character well, and pays homage to the original.
Closing: Billy dies, Pam is now the new Billy. So you have a non-white woman taking over a white male role. I’m sure the internet loved that.
Best Line: Punish
Original review here

The Alto Knights
Ups: Fans of the genre will enjoy it.
Well crafted atmosphere.
Good performances.
Suits the period.
Downs: Doesn’t bring anything new.
Maybe should have been made decades ago.
Best Performer: De Niro
Best Moment: Barber shop assassination.
Worst Moment: People testifying in front of congress. It’s edited terribly.
Opening: Frank Costello is shot in an elevator, then explains the history between him and Vito Genovese.
Closing: The Apalachin meeting. Much rather see a film about that.
Original review here

The Electric State
Ups: The robots look spectacular.
Downs: Bland story
They don’t seem like brother/sister. To be honest, the way they react is more like lovers. Hard to explain why.
Chris Pratt REALLY wants to be Harrison Ford doesn’t he?
Best Performer: Millie Bobby Brown
Best Moment: The Christopher reveal. Horrifying.
Worst Moment: The death of Clark Amherst. Has no emotional weight.
Opening: It’s 1990, “before the war”. Well it says “before the war”, but war is on the horizon and humanity already hates robots. Sweet interactions between the sibilings. We then get a background on the world, how robots were invented and came to take part in an uprising. I kind of think the “robot uprising” part of should have come first, the siblings part didn’t accomplish anything that couldn’t have been accomplished better elsewhere.
Closing: The robot character we thought was dead stands up so is still alive. oh no, what a shock.
Best Line: I have a condition where I can only live in reality. Sucks, but you go right ahead!
Original review here

The Toxic Avenger
Ups: Bloody
Fun
Actually helped people.
Downs: Too self-aware at times.
Oddly restrained in parts.
Needs a better soundtrack.
Best Performer: Dinklage
Best Moment: The diner robbery. Political, violent, and fun.
Worst Moment: The random guy in the woods. Mainly because it feels like a diversion.
Opening: Dramatic voiceover, met with quick highlights of what we’re about to see. Perfect for this.
Closing: The bad guys die, good guys win.
Best Line: My God you people are tedious!
Original review here

Y2K
Ups: Full of nostalgia.
Some good music choices.
Downs: A little too dumb.
Some unrealistic deaths.
The main character comes off a bit too “nice guy” at times.
Who is it aimed at?
Best Performer: Rachel Zegler
Best Moment: The sing-along to Tubthumbing. Kind of cute.
Worst Moment: The skating death. After seeing people being impaled and set on fire, a 1 foot drop while skating will always seem shitty.,
Opening: The “internet connection” noise. Then AOL. What ever happened to them? They WERE the internet.
Closing: Five years later, the glitch face appears on an iPod. Because God forbid a horror film be self-contained and not aim for a sequel.
Best Line: You think this’ll work because you saw it in a movie? I think movies have warped your mind. God damn, now I’m sounding like Tipper Gore.
Original review here

2025 In Film: Day One (The Awful)

Bride Hard
Ups: You can tell it was fun to make.
Downs: Some of the dialogue is too unsubtle.
Dull music.
Never makes the most of its premise.
Best Performer: Sherry Cola
Best Moment: I guess the kitchen fight, because its the closest this movie gets to what it is trying to be.
Worst Moment: The hovercraft chase looks particularly bad.
Opening: Montage of lead characters growing up and splitting when one of their families moves away, set to a sappy song. Then, “30 years later”, the two are part of a bachelorette group in Paris. I have a small problem; the labelling isn’t clear.
Closing: She sets off the denoator whilst catching flowers. The person whose house is blown up doesn’t seem to care.
Best Line: Is this normal for an American wedding?
Original review here

Havoc
Ups: Very energetic.
Downs: It looks weird. Hard to explain, but there’s a filter which means everything looks like a cutscene from a video game.
Kind of hard to care about anything that happens.
Best Performer: Tom Hardy
Best Moment: The kidnapping of Lawrence
Worst Moment: The inciting incident murder. Doesn’t feel “big” enough.
Opening: Tom Hardy delivers a voiceover over scenes of him stealing, murdering, and performing unlicensed burials at sea. A pretty weirdly shot car chase scene follows, can’t explain it, but it feels “off” somehow.
Closing: Patrick has been shot and will possibly die.
Best Line: You live in this world, you make choices. Choices you try to justify. For yourself, for your family. And for a while, it works. Until it doesn’t. Until you make a choice that renders everything worthless.
Original review here

In The Lost Lands
Ups: Unique.
Downs: Looks like a video game.
Overstuffed.
Characters turn on a whim.
Best Performer: Amara Okereke
Best Moment: The torture of villagers. Effective and personal.
Worst Moment: The train crash, it looks fake as shit.
Opening: Batista’s character walks up to the camera and gives a gritty version of “Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin”. This would have actually worked in the 1990s, but it now seems incredibly passe.
Closing: The two main characters who have spent the entire film working together decide to work together.
Best Line: The stronger the spirits, the weaker the senses.
Original review here

Keeper
Ups: Atmospheric
Tatiana Maslany
Downs: Meanders around.
Repeats itself a lot.
Some plot holes are vast enough to drive a truck through
Best Performer: Tatiana Maslany
Best Moment: The ending is satisfying.
Worst Moment: The cake. It isn’t impactful.
Opening: Quick scenes of women being murdered. Incredibly artsy.
Closing: Malcolm drowns in a jar of honey.
Best Line: This fork is going in your head one way or another. Might as well taste good.
Original review here

Kinda Pregnant
Ups: Amy Schumer and Urzila Carlson actually have really good chemistry and would make a great double act.
Some funny moments
Downs: It’s hard to like the characters
The premise is too dumb.
Most of the plot only happens because the characters are dicks.
Weirdly shot.
Best Performer: Urzila Carlson
Best Moment: The meet-cute. It’s believable and one of the few times she seems like a human.
Worst Moment: The break-up/threesome proposal with Dave. It feels incredibly fake. It would be like if you invited someone to your house on their birthday and all their friends were there, along with a birthday cake and a sign saying “Happy birthday”, but it wasn’t for their birthday, and you get annoyed at them for daring to think you were planning a birthday for them.
Opening: Two kids “playing mom”, well, pretending to be giving birth, with swearing. Weirdly short and feels like it’s there just because they know they can’t start the film with the next scene.
Closing: Public declaration of love involving a Zamboni and multiple vehicles being destroyed.
Best Line: “I will bite your fucking aorta”. Such a specific threat
Original review here

Matt And Mara
Ups: Some nice moments.
Nice to see low-budget movies get a release like this.
Downs: The characters don’t feel like friends.
They’re not that likeable.
Lack of cuteness
Best Performer: Deragh Campbell
Best Moment: The surly cafe owner.
Worst Moment: The car argument. Feels so forced.
Opening: A somewhat awkward meeting between the main characters.
Closing: Mara listens to music while holding her husband’s hand. She then puts a receipt in a book written by Matt.
Best Line: I’m letting my imagination reach the level of my stupidity, which makes it my reality
Original review here

Urchin
Ups: Some neat visual tricks.
There are moments where it shows you glimpses of how good it could be.
Downs: Unlikable lead.
Too episodic in nature.
Seems more focused on being visually interesting than being narratively compelling.
Best Performer: Frank Dillane. His performance is great, but his character is awful.
Best Moment: The karaoke bar. Three people singing an Atomic Kitten song should be skippable. But it’s incredibly sweet, and the way the three characters do it tells you so much about who they are.
Worst Moment: When he mugs the guy who tried to help him. Mainly because it’s too early on so colours your opinion of him. You spend the entire film knowing he’s a prick. If it delayed showing you that, it would have given us time to get some sympathy for him.
Opening: He wakes up, asks for money and is ignored. Interesting look in how hard that life is.
Closing: Arthouse weirdness. Probably killed himself.
Best Line: Each decision is yours.
Original review here

War Of The Worlds
Ups: Unique
Downs: Terrible CGI
Does this story really need updating?
Feels low-budget.
Product placement.
The world never FEELS in danger.
Too dumb
Best Performer: Henry Hunter Hill
Best Moment: The aliens crashing. Complete chaos, just enough to wake the audience up.
Worst Moment: The reveal of what the aliens are feeding on.
Opening: He logs on and opens up surveillance cameras. Let’s you know the gimmick quickly. Does include a fun moment where two people are talking about how “I think I’m being listened to” and is told to stop being paranoid. It’s interesting and intriguing. Then we see the freak weather, and it looks fake.
Closing: The aliens are defeated. Ice Cube refuses to spy on people anymore.
Best Line: I’m going to go with the tagline: “It’s worse than you think”. Almost like they were trying to warn us.
Original review here

Zero
Ups: Creative concept.
Makes the most of the location.
Downs: Terrible performers.
No style.
Dumb script.
Indecisive in terms of genre.
Best Performer: Moran Rosenblatt
Best Moment: The taking down of America. Depressingly relevant.
Worst Moment: The drug-taking scene makes it seem like the film is pausing.
Opening: Narration over a completely black screen. Did have to check if my HDMI cable was working properly. A guy is asleep on a packed bus in Senegal when someone puts a phone in his hand. He seems confused as to where he is.
Closing: The two characters stand in the ocean and accept their deaths. Kind of poignant. We then get the aftermath of the events; Senegal hates America, then a woman wakes up with a bomb strapped to her chest, but in Paris.
Best Line: “So where are you from?”
“I’m from that place that they signed the Declaration of Independence” Not the “best” line, but the most notable, because it’s terrible. Possibly the worst line I’ve seen all year. No person speaks like that.
Original review here

Wake Up Dead Man (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: A baffling death inside a quiet church draws Benoit Blanc into a tense investigation where faith secrets and suspicion blur as a close community turns against itself.

I should note that this will be my last review of 2025. To be honest, I just couldn’t be bothered to go see Anaconda, and Marty Supreme wasn’t available for viewing at my local cinema until 2026. Plus, it feels right to end 2025 on this movie. A few weeks ago, I was discussing the end-of-year awards with someone, and I mentioned the potential winners for “best film”. I narrowed it down to a list of five, but added “There’s a gap left for the new Knives Out”. In a year of uncertainty, I was certain it would reach that. So it’s weird that I don’t think it has matched my expectations. It’s not a bad film; it is still amazing, but it does feel like a slight downgrade from the two previous entries. It does improve on a second watch, but the initial feeling of slight disappointment doesn’t leave.

The main issue is that there’s very little Benoit in this Benoit movie. He doesn’t appear for 40 minutes. Now, Jud is a good character, played brilliantly by Josh O’Connor. But he’s not Benoit Blanc, so you do spend the time waiting for him to arrive. The lack of Benoit does break with tradition somewhat, but other than that, it stills to the formula pretty well; someone is dead, there’s a cast of characters all played by phenomenal actors, there’s a picturesque location, Blanc teams up with someone who is kind and very good at their job, plus there’s some weirdness.

I have no complaints about that. The formula works, so breaking it just for the sake of breaking the formula would feel silly. It does make me feel a bit sad that we won’t get to see some of these performers in another Knives Out movie; Jeffrey Wright, in particular, feels underutilised. Cailee Spaeny continues to be absolutely fantastic in everything she does. Josh O’Connor is good enough that it only took roughly 10 minutes for my brain to stop going “Is that Ralph Little?”.

The world-building of these movies frustrates me. On the one hand, it is great that they reference cases we haven’t seen; it makes it feel like the character exists outside of this universe. On the other hand, the two cases we have seen would be pretty high profile; one involved the death of a world-famous author, and the other involved an Elon Musk proxy. You’d think that would have come up in this. The right-wing influencer definitely would have asked Blanc about Miles Bron, and a best-selling author would definitely ask about Harlan Thrombey. I’m not asking for the entire film to revolve around the previous entries, but it would be interesting to see Blanc dismiss their questions as he’s too focused on the current case. Also, the first movie had Martha vomiting on Chris Evans, Glass Onion had the moment where everyone smashes shit up. Both of them are moments which are highly cathartic and entertaining, moments which you can point to as highlights of the year. There’s no equivalent in this. There’s no moment which stands out as being a highlight.

I do genuinely love this movie; it’s a solid 9/10 at the very least, but the others are so close to perfection that you can’t see this as anything other than a downgrade. Like the other two entries, it does NAIL the closing, though. It’s definitely the best Netflix movie of the year, but when their other efforts have included “Kinda Pregnant”, that’s not a high bar to clear.

Avatar: Fire And Ash (2025) Review

Quick Synopsis: After dealing with air in the original and water in the sequel, it’s now fire’s time to shine when the conflict on Pandora escalates as Jake and Neytiri’s family encounter a new, aggressive Na’vi tribe.

Are you ready for the most cinematically blasphemous sentence I’ve ever uttered? Oh, you’re not.

Okay, how about now? Good, then I’ll begin: I think of the Avatar movies a lot like the Transformers and Insidious films.

Now that the fire and ash-hole chants have died down, I’ll explain. I have seen all three Avatar movies at the cinema, I’m pretty sure I’ve watched all three Insidious movies too, and at least two Transformer movies. Now, can I name more than three characters from either of those? Nope. I have always admired the Avatar movies for their technical brilliance. There’s barely a single frame which doesn’t look spectacular (although I personally found the drugged sequence in this one kind of goofy). These movies are cinematic art, and I will never not be wowed by them. Although the negative consequence of both this and Water being filmed at the same time means that the visual jump between the two of them isn’t nearly as impressive. This still looks fantastic, but outside of some of the fire sequences, you’ve seen a lot of before.

The stories, however? I’ve always found them to be a little bit emotionally sterile. Avatar: Fire And Ash (A: FAA, pronounced Ah-fah! like you’re singing Knowing Me Knowing You) already slightly soured itself with me by making Spider such a prominent character. Something about his character annoys me, and I can’t quite figure out what. I think it’s partly because he reminds me of when kids’ TV shows written by old people would introduce a “hip” new character who would enter and immediately be worshipped by everybody because he could do a kickflip. I also found it recreated most of the story beats from the previous films, especially the second one.

On the upside, the action sequences are among the most dynamic the franchise has ever seen. Oona Chaplin oozes a mix of danger and sexuality that you can’t take your eyes off. Stephen Lang’s character is given much more to do than be the stereotypical Colonel of before. The background characters are more fleshed out than they ever have been, meaning that this is the first in the franchise that feels like it belongs to the universe rather than just Jake (although a lot of characters keep ending up in just the right place, which makes the planet seem small). It got me very excited for the future; it truly feels like it lays the groundwork for something spectacular. Also, it’s just nice to see spectacle in the cinema. This would not work on a mobile phone or a laptop; it deserves a big screen.

In summary, I have never been as simultaneously bored and impressed.