Tag: Disney

Zootropolis/Zootopia 2 (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Detectives Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde find themselves on the twisting trail of a mysterious reptile who turns the mammal metropolis of Zootopia upside down.

I may have made a mistake going in. I tend to avoid reviews before seeing a film, but sometimes I do accidentally glance at one, or at least see the headline. The one headline I saw for this described it as a “soulless film-by-numbers affair filled with corporately approved jokes” and “might as well be AI-generated”. So I went in with low expectations. After viewing Zootropolis 2, I don’t understand where that reviewer was coming from. It’s not quite as good as the first one, but it is still a worthy viewing experience.

Most of the cast from the first film return, including Tiny Lister, through the use of archival recordings. Joining the cast are Patrick Warburton, Macaulay Culkin, Ke Huy Quin, and Andy Samberg. That’s the main cast; the voice cameos make it look like whoever wrote the Wikipedia page is just making shit up; Ed Sheeran, Mario Lopez, Mae Martin, Auli’i Cravalho, Tig Notaro, The Rock, CM Punk, Roman Reigns. The last two are particularly fun as the Zebros, who seem like the kind of characters destined for a spinoff.

So how does the story compare? It’s good, but it does feel reminiscent of the first one. The whole “the ones you think are dangerous aren’t really” message is essentially the same as the first one. There’s even the “cuddly animal you thought was friendly turns out to be a dick” plot twist. That one in particular hurt, as it seemed so obvious that I felt it must be a red herring. The Nick and Judy relationship also repeats some moments from the first movie. If the first movie didn’t exist, this would be great; as it is, it feels kind of like a remake.

I think it would have been stronger if they hadn’t done that late-stage heel turn; it would have backed up the film’s thesis that “it’s your personality that determines you, not your species/family”. It also misuses Dawn Bellwether from the first movie; she gets broken out of prison, then arrested again at the end. I’m not asking for her to have a huge impact on the story, but why bother bringing her back if you’re not going to use her at all? I also wasn’t impressed with how they say that Nick has a phobia of reptiles, then never mention it again.

That is a rather negative way of looking at it. On its own merits, it’s charming. It’s also very funny; packed full of jokes; there are moments where it feels like they’re cramming them in until it’s fit to bursting. Gary The Snake is a wonderful character who suits the franchise. It has enough heart to carry it through its weaker moments, and the animation is absolutely gorgeous. This isn’t as focused on the characters in the world as the first one, but the world itself is explored more; we get a much bigger focus on how the world works, how the different zones interact, etc.

In summary, just as good as the first one, and the signs for the inevitable third one are good.





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The Hand That Rocks The Cradle (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Afluent attorney Michelle brings a new nanny into her home, shit gets creepy.

The original movie is one of my non-childish childhood favourites. I think everyone has those movies you watched growing up that you have fond memories of, that weren’t kids’ movies. Movies that aren’t stupid and cheesy. These are “proper” films. Your first introduction to nuance and mature themes. I’ve watched it again recently, and it still holds up. It’s a tense drama, led by some fantastic performances, especially Rebecca De Mornay, winner of the “Actress whose name sounds most like a Hitchcock character” award. If I heard this was being remade, I would have been deeply offended but curious. I only ended up hearing about its existence roughly two weeks before the release date, so I didn’t really get enough time to draw up strong opinions about it.

I’m not as opposed to remakes as some people; I won’t dismiss something purely because it’s a remake. So I was going into this with an open mind, but with the knowledge that it could suck. One advantage this has is that Maika Monroe isn’t as inherently unsettling as De Mornay. That’s not an insult to De Mornay, by the way, but she’s very easily believable as a creepy person, so it’s difficult to build her up as a creepy person because that’s her baseline. It’s like watching an action movie where you’re expected to be surprised that the mild-mannered janitor played by The Rock turns out to be a former soldier; it’s kind of obvious.

This does what a remake should do: sticks to the spirit of the original whilst changing the specifics so that you are still surprised. As good as the original was, Mrs Mott’s motivations always felt a little too caricatured evil to be as compelling as it could have been; “I’m annoyed that this woman reported my husband for sexually assaulting her” is a weird motivation. I won’t spoil it, but the villain’s motivation in this version is much more believable and personal. As good as Annabella Sciorra was in the original, Mary Elizabeth Winstead exceeds her in some aspects; it helps that she’s great at being frightened.

On the downside, the husband’s role is even more of an afterthought in this than it was in the original. I can’t remember his name, what he looks like, or any aspects of his personality. That’s a small complaint, though, as the core relationship in this story will always be the one between the two women.

In terms of visuals, this is overly artsy at times. Sometimes it works; the house fire is beautifully cinematic. But on others, it’s a little much; we don’t need a shot of her blood on the road the way it’s done. Truth be told, it feels a little pretentious at times. It’s definitely more cinematic than the original, for better and for worse. There’s one shot which I’m definitely not a fan of; when Rebecca kills someone with a baseball bat it lacks impact due to how it’s shot; it needs a split second or two

The story? I mentioned before how I preferred the villain’s motivation in this version, but how it’s revealed feels a little weak. There’s also a sex scene that doesn’t feel necessary. In a lesser movie, that would be a random sex scene made for titillation, but because this movie is obviously trying to be good, cheap moments like that hurt it more than they’d hurt others. If this weren’t trying to be so good, it would be a better movie. Which is a weird thing to say, I know. But the story is cheesy and over exaggerated, but the directing and performances are mature and sophisticated, which causes a weird style clash.

In summary, an interesting watch, and not one I regret. But I won’t hold it with the same love and reverence as I did the original.

Elio (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Elio is a small child who feels isolated and unloved. Those problems are solved when he is abducted by aliens.

It’s hard to explain, but Pixar films don’t seem like big deals anymore. The internet says it’s because they are jamming in adult themes. Themes such as “gay people can sometimes be in happy relationships and it’s not a big deal”, and “Mexican people exist”. Personally, I think it’s the opposite. Classic Pixar movies are great films that are for everything. It feels like the last few years they’ve aimed more at kids, which means it’s somewhat embarrassing to go see them at the cinema as an adult. The exceptions are sequels such as Inside Out 2, but mostly it’s felt like they’re marketed with “there is nothing for adults here” even if the messages apply to everyone.

I want to love Pixar films, I really do. But sometimes they make it difficult. It’s possible I just have very high standards for them, so a film that I would see as average, is rendered worse because I know Pixar can do better. Elio is better than average, for a start, it looks absolutely stunning. But it gets nowhere near the quality of their other work. The issues are mostly down to the script, specifically the characters. Most of the background characters are far too bland to make their moments near the end mean anything. A lot of the aliens are forgettable too; nobody is going to be making fan art for most of them. There are a few that are memorable, but mostly they’re much of a muchness.

A small issue, but it does break realism slightly that a small child can write “Abduct me” in the sand on a beach and lie there for hours without any adults staging an intervention. I also found the eye-patch a bit superflous, especially since it only really matters for 5 seconds of the entire runtime. I’m not asking for it to suddenly become “Elio: The Eyepatch Enfante”, but it feels like a massive character change for something so inconsequential. Was it just so they could do the “he’s a clone” reveal? If so, there must have been an easier way of doing that (plus, wouldn’t a super advanced cloning device be prepared for that? It does know things wear clothes, surely?).

This has seemed negative, I know. And it deserves a better reaction than that. On its own, it’s a solid 7/10. But films aren’t watched in a vacuum, and with the knowledge of just how good Pixar can be, this is disappointing. Especially when you look into the production of it, where Elio was a much more developed person. Executives forced the writers to make him more traditionally masculine by removing his love of fashion and *checks notes* environmentalism. Because, obviously, wanting to live on a planet that we can actually live on, instead of a burning ball of sewage and shit (otherwise known as New Jersey) is feminine and gay.

A massive plus is the way it looks. Visually, it’s absolutely stunning. The animation of a sentient hair crawling about on its own is cool. I said it when I saw Monsters University, and I’ll say it again; Pixar really should do a horror movie. Or do an 80’s kids movie where the aim is to traumatise as many children as possible.

In summary; perfectly fine for Disney+, but I’d have been frustrated if I left the house to see it at the cinema.

Freakier Friday (2025) Review

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Quick synopsis: Two decades after an identity crisis, Anna’s blended family faces new challenges. Tess and Anna discover their past may be repeating with the next generation.

I know I’ve seen the 2003 version of Freaky Friday, but my main memory of it is that it had a Halo Friendlies song in it, guitar-focused female-vocal pop punk is my jam. I remember the basic plot, and the two leads, but that’s pretty much it. Added to that, I have a feeling that “straight male in his late 30s” is not the target audience for this. So I was prepared for my feelings towards this movie to be “it’s okay” at best, a solid 5/10. Thoroughly okay, but not for me.

Yup, that’s wrong, this film is good. Really good. It’s smart, funny, and genuinely heartwarming. It does a good job of catching newcomers up to speed with what happened in the first movie, without repeating itself so much that it bores fans who can remember what happened. I recognised enough “hey, it’s a reference” moments that I get the feeling fans of the 2003 version will get more out of it than those who haven’t watched it. I don’t know why I was surprised; it’s directed by Nisha Ganatra, who also directed Late Night, which was one of my favourite films of 2019. She knows how to do comedy, plus has a talent for getting the best out of actors, both established (Emma Thompson in Late Night, Curtis in this) and new.

It’s not said enough, but Jamie Lee Curtis is incredible. She NAILS her performance here. Body swap movies can be difficult for performers, as you need to behave in such a way that the audience never forgets the premise; they need to remember, “Okay, that’s so-and-so in that body”. There’s not a single moment where Curtis slips up. Lohan? She’s good, but there are a few moments where its easier to forget than it should be that she’s been bodyswapped. Julia Butters and Sophia Hammons fare slightly better, but that’s mainly because they’re given more to do physically.

The supporting cast also does their job. Even those only in a few scenes (Vanessa Bayer, X Mayo) give such strong performances that you wouldn’t object to them coming back in a sequel. I want to give particular recognition to Sherry Cola and Santina Muha for only being in one scene each, but being incredibly memorable, especially Muha as I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen her in anything, and her performance was so good in this that my brain automatically cast her in the book I’m currently reading.

There aren’t many “laugh uproariously” moments, but you’d need a heart of stone to not be charmed and amused by many of the moments here. I have a few quibbles with the script, the main one being the opening. The opening is fine, it does its job well, and I have no issues with it on its own. But there’s a montage of Anna and Eric’s relationship developing and growing that would have been PERFECT for the opening credits. With that in mind, it’s difficult to not see some moments as a bit superfluous. I’m not asking for all of it to be cut, but you could easily get it down to 5-10 minutes and THEN have the relationship play out. There are other moments where you could poke holes in the logic or storytelling. But, to be honest, you don’t really want to. It’s such a lovable film that doing that would feel weirdly cruel.

Not amazingly fantastically brilliant, but very good. Although “Lindsey Lohan tries to stop a father marrying someone she doesn’t approve of”? You sneaked a Parent Trap sequel past us, didn’t you?

Snow White (2025) Review

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Quick Review: A brutal look at life in a concentration camp. Nah, I’m just kidding, it’s Snow White, you know this story.

I’ve made my dislike of live-action remakes of animated movies well known. I see them as cynical cash grabs, completely bereft of any soul, passion, or reason. A lot of reviews for this movie were negative, and the online reaction was negative to the point of toxicity. That’s why I waited for it to come to Disney+ instead of watching it at the cinema. Also, fuck disney. This is a long way for me to say that you should prepare yourself for a highly negative review; full of cynicism and annoyance.

That’s what I did anyway, so imagine my shock when it turned out that I didn’t hate this. I wouldn’t say I liked it, and I definitely don’t need to see it again. But as far as movies of this ilk go? It’s certainly more charming than most. It helps that Snow White actually makes sense to be remade. It’s been a long, long time since the original, so unlike some of the other live-action adaptations (specifically the upcoming Moana), this WILL look different. Side note: it looks fantastic. Yes, it’s live-action, but the colours are astounding, so bright that at times it does feel like a cartoon. There are only two parts which let it down visually; Gal Gadot, and the dwarves.

Sorry, not dwarves, they’re not referred to as that. The dwarves (sorry, “magical beings”)are “played” by talented performers, but performers who don’t have dwarfism. This came after Peter Dinklage criticised the remake and said it was insulting. Disney responded to this by not hiring any actors with dwarfism, a decision which was derided by some actors (notably Dylan Postl) who felt the actions of Dinklage cost actors like him roles. It’s a difficult subject to talk about, especially since both sides have a point. The fact that the only roles that actors with dwarfism can get are as elves, etc, is demeaning, but it feels like not having those roles at all is worse. Either way; keeping the roles but having them played by typical actors? That feels incredibly offensive. If you cast actors who were size-appropriate, you’d actually be helping. Also, they wouldn’t have the weird uncanny-valley thing that plagues every single one of them.

The other visual problem, as I said earlier, is Gal Gadot. The costume designers etc did everything they could, the look they put together is spot on. But Gadot cannot pull it off. She doesn’t feel natural. Her physical performance feels clunky and makes it look like her face was CGI’d onto a random crew members body. At no point in her performance does she look like anything other than an actor playing a role, she never fully dissolves into it. Gadot looks like she’s playing as an evil Queen, Zegler looks like she is Snow White.

It’s weird how a lot of people (idiots) criticised Zegler’s casting when she is, without a doubt, the glue that holds the shoddy pottery of this movie together. Side note: I’ve almost definitely put spelt her name “Zeigler” at some point in the past, and for that, I apologise, mea culpa. She is quickly becoming one of my favourite performers, even though she’s never been in a film I’d consider great. She basically seems like a Disney princess already, more so than any female performer not named Amy Adams. She has charm, fantastic physical presence, and great facial expressions. Plus, she can bring the emotion and anger when she needs to.

I realise I may be overselling this movie a bit. It is, at best, a 5 or 6 out of 10. Some of the dialogue is clunky as hell, quite a few of the songs don’t work as well as they should, there’s no build up, people suddenly start singing in a jarring manner. The witch who gives Snow White the apple feels more like a cameo than an actual character, and most of the “magical creatures” aren’t given enough personality to be memorable.

The main romance works though, so it’s got that going for it.

Lilo And Stitch (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Stitch is an alien who pretends to be a dog when he gets adopted by Lilo.

I need to preface this review with one important detail: I’m not a massive fan of the original. I don’t dislike it. I find it charming, funny, and it is actually a brilliant film. However, I have no personal attachment or deep love for it, so I’m not personally offended by changes made. With that in mind, I’m going to be reviewing this mostly as a stand-alone and will be judging it on its own merits. I’ll try not to make too many comparisons to the original, ranting about how “but they changed this so it sucks”.

That being said, I do have to acknowledge that this is a live-action remake of an animated film. Which is why I wasn’t a fan of the opening. For a film like this, you want to show off how different it looks outside of animation. You want to heavily showcase either the design of Stitch or the beautiful locations. Instead, LAS starts on a spaceship full of CGI characters. Yes, it’s photorealistic CGI, but it would have been nice to see them show us something real first.

The downside of a live-action film based on a child is that a lot of children aren’t good actors, so it’s risky getting them to lead your movie. It’s somewhat easier in animation because you can go race-blind (and age-blind too) if you need to, a trick you can’t get away with in live-action; no matter how long she’s done the voice for, nobody would buy Nancy Cartwright as a live-action Bart Simpson. Maia Kealoha is charming as Lilo. Her interactions with Stitch are heartfelt and wonderful, really selling the idea that they’re close. The rest of the cast is pretty good. I always love seeing Billy Magnussen in anything; he brings a Tudyk energy to everything he does. It’s also nice to see Hannah Waddington firmly stepping into her role as the Queen of British Accents. She’s long been appreciated for her theatre work, but since Ted Lasso, she now seems to be Hollywood’s new “middle-aged posh British lady”, and I’m all here for it. Also, every time I see her, I fall a little bit more in love with Amy Hill; she has the energy of a grandparent who slips you whiskey behind your parents’ back.

I have no issues with the look. It would have been nice to showcase more of the island, but I suppose that would go against the “OMG, fucking tourists!” message. Although the “tourists are ruining this island and forcing us into demeaning customs” message is already diluted somewhat by a car company offering a holiday to Hawaii in association with this movie. Disney are the fucking worst.

Stitch looks fantastic. He feels more dog-like in this, not enough that you still don’t find it weird that nobody notices he’s not a dog. But enough that you can conceivably buy it. The live-action nature of this means his chaos seems more real. When he ruins a wedding party, it’s not “wacky animated hijinks”, it’s “if I find this thing, I’m going to kill it because it ruined my day”.

Now onto the ending. I’ll talk about it more at the end of the year, so I can do so without spoilers, but lets just say it’s received A LOT of hatred online. “Ohana means nobody gets left behind, unless I have somewhere better to stay, in which case, fuck you Lilo”. I don’t hate it as much as everyone else seems to. I mean, it’s not good, and it definitely goes against the spirit of the movie. But I see what they were going for. I recognise they were going for something different but equally heartwarming; they just didn’t pull it off. There is a way to pull that ending off, I’m not sure what it is, but it does exist.

2024 In Film: Day Eight (The Very Good)

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A side note to this entry. I originally had Fly Me To The Moon here, but then I thought about it and added it to this list instead. Yup. The differences are SO small once we get this high that something can be easily knocked down two spaces based on a single flaw.

Babes
Ups: Funny.
Honest
Downs: Some scenes feel a little lazy and like they’re a first-draft.
Best Performer: Ilana Glazer
Best Moment: The meet-cute. From a writing perspective, it’s iconic and inspirational.
Worst Moment: The “bitch” scene. The way it’s filmed makes it seem like the two performers are in separate rooms recording their lines.
Opening: “THIS FILM IS SET IN NEW YORK” montage opening
Closing: She takes her child to the movie the kid’s dad was in before he died. Very sweet.
Best Line: “Best friends are screwed over as adults. If you don’t couple up you’re fucked”.
Original review here

Gladiator 2
Ups: Every character makes sense and is well-defined.
Looks fantastic.
Brutal deaths.
Fight and action scenes look like they hurt.
Downs: Is it necessary?
The historical inaccuracies will make your head hurt. It’s not just “this happened 10 years after”. Some weaponry wouldn’t exist for over 1000 years after the movie’s events. For similar timescales; imagine a film about William The Conquerer, where the invading Norman army drives Ford Fiestas. Think of how “well that’s bullshit” that would seem. Similarly; there was no way for the safe transportation of sharks to be used in the arena.
Best Performer: Pedro Pascal
Best Moment: The Naumachia, at least until the sharks turn up.
Worst Moment: Him being shown the armour etc of Maximus feels a little shoe-horned.
Opening: A beautiful opening credit sequence that looks like it’s been painted.
Closing: A new emperor is crowned.
Best Line: What does my past matter, when my future is only to die as a gladiator?
Original review here

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person
Ups: Cracking title.
Very sweet.
When the music is good, it’s very good.
Downs: The above point about the music? Doesn’t happen enough.
Bland background characters.
It doesn’t establish the universe well enough. This is such a big problem because if it sorted that out, this would be in the next blog.
Best Performer: Sara Montpetit
Best Moment: Sasha and Paul listening to music together. Incredibly awkward and sweet. The way the characters move says so much without a word of dialogue. Paul’s revenge is also up there.
Worst Moment: Sasha breaks free from Henry in the park, hitting them. Feels weak, as if the hits have no weight to them.
Opening: It’s Sasha’s birthday, As a present, her family invited a clown over for dinner, as the main course.
Closing: Paul becomes a vampire and the two form a euthanasia team at the local hospital, draining people on their deathbeds. There’s then a scene of the two walking in the corridor, which wasn’t needed.
Best Line: I wouldn’t kill anyone other than myself.
Original review here

I Saw The TV Glow
Ups: The music.
The general feeling.
Some great performances.
Weirdly hypnotic
For someone out there questioning their gender identity, this will be THE most important film they’ve ever seen.
Excellent lighting.
Downs: It’s definitely too slow and weird for a lot of people.
Needs a clearer narrative.
Justice Smith isn’t quite confident enough to pull some of these moments off.
Best Performer: Brigette Lunday-Paine
Best Moment: Maddy explains how they buried themselves.
Worst Moment: When he’s at the cinema with a film playing behind him, mainly because whilst the Pink Opaque TV show feels real, the film does not, at all.
Opening: Some weird neon chalk drawings on a road at night. Very cool looking, it doesn’t feel like a horror movie, which I love as it helps everything feel real.
Closing: Owen breaks down at a party. Pretty damn creepy, especially since nobody reacts, they just kind of shut down like robots. He goes into a room and cuts his chest open, smiling when he finds TV static. Then goes back to work and apologises. There are a lot of different interpretations of this, which is good.
Best Line: It feels like someone… took a shovel and dug out all my insides. And I know there’s nothing in there, but I’m still too nervous to open myself up and check. I know there’s something wrong with me. My parents know it too, even if they don’t say anything.
Original review here

Juror #2
Ups: Tense.
Some great performances.
Interesting story. The kind you can tell someone and they go “Oh, I’d like to see that”
Will inspire discussion.
Downs: Bland visuals.
It wastes SOO much time.
Completely screwed over by the distributors.
It’s disheartening how believable it is.
Characters disappear.
Best Performer: Nicholas Holt.
Best Moment: Justins’ car journey, is depressing.
Worst Moment: Harold getting kicked off the case, mainly because you think it would lead somewhere.
Opening: Kind of bland opening. Hasn’t been that long but I can’t even remember it.
Closing: The assistant DA knocks on Justins’ door, so I’m assuming he gets arrested.
Best Line: We’re only as sick as our secrets.
Original review here

Late Night With The Devil
Ups: Chilling.
A lot of subtext.
Good performances.
Downs: Some wasted time.
The backstage moments completely break the immersion.
Doesn’t lead into the concept as much as it could.
Best Performer: David Dastmalchian.
Best Moment: The third-act carnage.
Worst Moment: The opening.
Opening: A documentary is investigating the events. Well not really investigating, just playing the show in full. Could have got away with cutting away from it for some sort of modern analysis etc, make it feel more like a documentary. As it is, the opening is just set up, and it all sets up stuff we would be told later anyway.
Closing: Lots of flashbacks and self-analysis. The closest a film has come to the Firefly Funhouse Match, but more normal.
Best Line: We go WAY back. We met amongst the tall trees… remember?
Original review here

Moana 2
Ups: Beautiful visuals.
New characters slot in perfectly.
Funny.
Downs: Unfocused, especially in regards to the villains.
Some of the dialogue is cringy.
The music is nowhere near as good as the first one.
Best Performer: Auli’i Cravalho
Best Moment: Assembling the crew. Always a super easy way to make a film entertaining as it allows quick jokes and character development.
Worst Moment: The death of Moana. Nobody in the audience buys it, and it’s over far too soon.
Opening: Moana has continued her adventures. Doesn’t feel like there’s been too much that has happened between the two movies. Which kind of makes it seem like the first one didn’t matter.
Closing: The island is connected to the world. Depending on how the third one goes, this is a genuine game-changer.
Best Line: “You look like a kidney stone”
“And you look like someone who would know what that is”
Original review here

Mothers’ Instinct
Ups: Some great shots.
Constantly keeps you on edge.
Downs: Doesn’t need a second watch.
Difficult to love.
Does nothing new.
Best Performer: Anne Hathaway
Best Moment: When Celine kills her husband. Slow, methodical, and brutal.
Worst Moment: The birthday party seems too cruel.
Opening: White women curtain twitching. If you know nothing going in, I’m not sure it would be as good. Knowing that it’s a thriller means you’re on edge throughout the opening, expecting something terrible to happen, instead, it’s a surprise party.
Closing: Celine adopts Theo after killing his parents. Chilling closing. Could have done a fake-out where she’s in court and made it look like she had been caught before revealing it’s for custody.
Best Line: Not really a line, but Hathaway’s scream is spine-chilling.
Original review here

Wicked Little Letters
Ups: Funny and sweary.
Olivia Colman is a delight
Fantastic chemistry between the cast.
Downs: Misleading trailer.
The “mystery” is pretty obvious.
Best Performer: Jessie Buckley
Best Moment: How they reveal the villain. Fun, caper-esque, and so damn charming.
Worst Moment: The death of Victoria feels a little misguided tonally.
Opening: Sweary letters are sent. It’s clear from reactions it’s been happening for a while. It sets up the repressed characters well and gets some good laughs in.
Closing: Standard “what happened next” reminds you that this stuff really happened.
Best Line: “It’s German”
Original review here

Moana 2 (2024) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Moana journeys to the far seas of after receiving an unexpected call from her wayfinding ancestors.

Moana 2: More-ana has received a lot of criticism upon release. From people saying “It was obviously supposed to be a TV show” (which it was), to just a general sense of disappointment. At the time of writing, it has a 61% score on Rotten Tomatoes, that’s only 2% away from being rotten. It’s not as good as the first one, but it’s certainly not a bad movie. It currently has an audience score (sorry, “Popcornmeter”, FFS) of 81%. That feels more accurate based on the 95% score of the original.

Yes, it has its flaws. The music isn’t anywhere near as good and feels more unnatural than it did in the original. The villain isn’t quite as present, to the point where the film seems to be building up someone else as the villain, who then turns out to be helpful and isn’t mentioned again. It also has more moments that feel cringy compared to the original.

It is still fun though. It adds to the story from the first one in a logical way, expanding the universe that was created. Most of the original cast return, and the new voices slot right in; Rose Matafeo BELONGS in more Disney movies, and her voice is perfect for animation. David Fane also feels so natural that I had to check he wasn’t in the original. The Rock continues to do what he does, and Auli’i Cravalho is still one of the most perfect castings any animation has ever done, she sounds like how her character looks (although I still maintain that Moana herself looks like an animated version of Jennifer Freeman, the second Claire from My Wife And Kids).

The movie looks GORGEOUS. Water is generally really hard to animate due to the unpredictable nature of how it moves (second only to George Best in the 1966 European Cup quarter-final against Benfica), so it’s very easy to mess up. There are no moments here where the animation takes you out. It looks so perfect and real that it almost feels live-action. This is why it’s so baffling that a live-action version of Moana is being made. Why? It hasn’t been long enough since the original to justify it, and there is no way it will look as good, so what’s the point? The high quality of Moana 2: The Ocean Strikes Back means that audiences are fully invested in this iteration of the character, all a live-action version will do is dilute or taint the love for the franchise.

In summary; this film is good, only tainted by how utterly superb the first one was. The reviews are wrong, except for this one, I am always right.

Re-Recording Disney Music.

On By troubledproductionsIn Recasting...Leave a comment

I was browsing the book of Face the other day. In between the adverts for businesses in other countries, transphobic memes that have been “suggested for you”, and pages “we think you’d like” that are just hateful shit, I saw a Bowling For Soup post that said they had recorded a cover of Friend Like Me for a new Disney covers album. Now I love that shit, I love covers, I love pop punk, so a whole album full of that is my jam. On the downside, it is Disney and there is a concern that by buying that album I agreed to donate my organs to Disney before I die. Also, some of the choices are weird, would it not have made more sense for a woman to cover Surface Pressure instead of someone who wrote a song about a woman he met at a party and never saw again? So, much like we’ve already done for Bleed American and Black Parade, it’s time to speak about the better options. The only rule is; no Bowling For Soup, otherwise it would be them doing it all. Oh, and try to keep it to one song from each film (a rule which meant I couldn’t have NoFX doing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, which is good because then I would have had to spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, and I’m not completely sure I can spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious correctly).

Rainbow Connection (Link to the original song here) – Ben Folds with Regina Spektor

This one is tricky, Weezer already did a pretty damn good cover of this (featuring guest vocals from Hayley Williams). You need something simple but also majestic. A musician that wouldn’t be out of place with just them and a keyboard/piano/ukulele/electric triangle, but who would also suit a full orchestral/vocal backing for the closing stretch. With that in mind, Regina Spektor was my first choice. As I was looking for a song to post to back up that opinion I dug up the song she made with Ben Folds, after that, I couldn’t unhear the version this could be. Starting off slow, just Ben Folds alone on a piano, an echo on the vocals so it sounds like he’s singing in an empty room, then when you get to the final verse, the strings kick in, as does Regina Spektor’s vocals. It would be emotional, powerful, and so damn perfect. There is a worry that it would come off as being too similar to the aforementioned Weezer cover, but I feel Folds and Spektor are different enough that it will have enough differences.

The case for the defence: Us – Regina Spektor. A great showcase for Spektor’s powerful voice which will help the closing section work.

Brick – Ben Folds Five. To show how bleak and depressing Ben Folds can be at times.

The Bed Song – Amanda Palmer. This is the kind of effect I want for the solo Ben Folds parts. That feeling of musical isolation and emptiness.

The Bare Necessities (link to the original song here) – Less Than Jake

Now this is tricky, mainly because the best cover already exists, no, not the John Goodman and Haley Joel Osment, it’s the Bowling For Soup one. How are you going to get something to match that level of joy and fun? Simple, the same thing you do with your Sims relationships when you have the new Romance update; make it super horny. A horn section makes everything better, even funerals. If they can find a way to merge it into I Wanna Be Like You then even better.

The Case For The Defence: Gainesville Rock City – Less Than Jake

We Bare Bears – Skatune Network. Proof that ska makes everything better

When You Wish Upon A Star (link to the original song here) – Puddles Pity Party

I knew I had to have this song on this album, and I knew I couldn’t fuck about with it. I couldn’t change it too much, I had to instead just enhance what was already there. The deep voice, the resonance, the performance. As has so often been the case in life; I turned towards a depressed clown. Puddles in particular. If you’re English and watch live TV, you have heard one of his cover versions, you just don’t know it. His cover of All The Small Things was used in a Christmas advert last year, I can’t remember which one because all Christmas adverts are the same, they’re essentially “Emotion! Feelings!” with no focus on the actual product or shop. I believe he could pull this off, and it would be fucking magnificent. This is the only one where I actually had to check the artist I chose hadn’t already done it.

The case for the defence: All The Small Things. That level of showmanship and old school brilliance is whats needed to make this work.

Stressed Out The song that made me fall in love with this artist

Be Our Guest (Link to the original song here) – Marina And The Diamonds

For this, I had one goal: strange time signatures mixed with a kooky danceability. Essentially, I needed it to sound like it was made by an art student. Sadly, Do Me Bad Things wouldn’t work as it would be too messy. I needed something relatively simple but effective. For this I’m thinking of it lacking strings in the background, it will be all synth-pop gloriousness.

The case for the defence; Ancient Dreams In A Modern Land A demonstration of the kind of synth dance feel I’m going far.

Oh No! Her most popular song, and the one which demonstrates the drumbeat backing I’ll be looking for.

Feed The Birds (Link to the original song here) – Meryl Streep

A weird choice, I know. Streep is generally known more as an actor than a singer (and a pretty good one too, in case the CONSTANT awards didn’t give that away) but she has sung in a few roles before. You may assume I heard Streep sing in Mamma Mia, but that would mean I had to watch that film, and that’s too much effort. Instead, I’m going with this based on her song from the VERY New York murder mystery show Only Murders In The Building. I feel she’d do a good job with this. Plus both Streep and Andrews have worked with Anne Hathaway, which doesn’t mean anything but like Marge Simpson with a potato, I just found that neat.

The case for the defence: Look For The Light. I kind of think I should put Ashley Park somewhere on this album but not sure where.

A Whole New World (Link to the original song here) – Brendon Urie with Sara Bareilles.

Based on the last song, I was going to put Ashley Park here, I was looking for some of her songs to put in the defence and some of her stuff with Girls5Eva from the TV show of the same name. As good as she is, I feel Sara Bareilles is the musical star, and it would be weird to overlook her. I knew I was going to have Panic guy as the lead though as I needed something bombastic and theatrical. On the actual album that inspired this blog, it’s being sung by Yellowcard, which might work, but I have a worry it will be flat. The version I’ve chosen here I think will soar and be as majestic as it deserves. Plus, no matter what, it’s going to be better than the fucking Jordan one.

Case for the defence: Into The Unknown – Panic At The Disco. They clearly have no objection to doing a Disney song, and this demonstrates how full-blown I want it to be.

Gravity – Sara Bareilles. The millennial equivalent of that Sarah Mclachlan song that makes everybody cry.

Part Of Your World (Link to the original song here) – Chrissy Costanza

This was unexpected. I asked someone for suggestions for a female vocalist for the previous song and someone suggested this artist, although it turns out they meant We Are The In Crowd, but I’m glad they introduced me to this band. I’m glad she suggested it though as it solved I problem I had. I was concerned this album wasn’t upbeat enough. I had emotion, I had theatrics, but I haven’t had much fun yet. I needed more pop punk, and this was perfect. Whilst also being melodic enough to not be a huge departure.

The case for the defence: Part Of Your World – New Found Glory. The kind of thing I’m aiming for, it will be similar to this version but different enough to stand out.

If Looks Could Kill – Chrissy Costanza The song that introduced me to this band

This Is Halloween (Link to the original song here) – Qveen Herby

Continuing with the upbeat theme, this time more hip hop/r&b based. The background beats for this will be HEAVY and slow. I feel Herby could do something weird with this where you know it’s different but you can’t quite figure out what she’s changed about it. I’m not sure what way she’d go with it, whether she would quicken the pace, slow it down, or change nothing. But I’m excited to see it.

The case for the defence: Barbie Girl. For if she does a more straight cover

Sade In The 90’s. For if she decided to go a bit more sensual and laid back

Surface Pressure (Link to the original song here) – K.Flay

This was probably the hardest one (and Can You Feel The Love Tonight which can clearly only be covered by Queen, and as such can’t be included). The version on the actual album is going to be done by Plain White T’s, them of the “I met a girl once at a party and wrote a song about her, no I’m not creepy why do you ask?” and I haven’t heard it yet but I’m assuming it’s going to “rock” (make a note of the deliberately small r) which is a weird choice. I knew it had to be performed by a female vocalist, that part was non-negotiable for me, but which vocalist? Part of me wanted to lean into the emotion, much like the Amanda Palmer cover does, maybe by going with Kesha in full Bob Dylan cover mode. But if a depressing slow ethereal cover already exists, will I be doing more of the same by having that version? A small part of me also wanted to lean into the flamenco aspects and have Bitter Ruin do a version, but I feel that would mean either wasting the brilliant guitar playing of Ben Richards or having that overshadow the vocals. I needed to do something noticeably different. I decided to lean into the slight hip-hop aspect of it, and pick a white girl from Illinois. This will work though, she creates good beats which will replace the instrumentation of the original, and can manage to do both fast vocal delivery and then heavy emotion. It might not be as good as the original, but it will be strong enough to justify its existence.

The case for the defence: Self Esteem. Where she changes a cover version AND showcases emotion, both will be vital.

Blood In The Cut. To showcase her beat creation

Four Letter Words. To demonstrate that she does have a sense of playfulness and speed.

Inside Out 2 (2024) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick synopsis: Riley is now a teenager, and with increased age comes increase emotion.

With Pixar, you know what you’re getting; emotions. They’ve given emotions to a wide variety of things: toys, dinosaurs, Scottish people. Inside Out is the most obvious example of this: What if emotions had emotions? It wasn’t crying out for a sequel, it was pretty self-contained and didn’t leave any unanswered questions. That doesn’t mean a sequel doesn’t make sense. It was a film about childhood emotions, and (spoilers), emotions don’t stop when people hit their teens.

Let’s be honest, even if it didn’t NEED a sequel, it’s very easy to picture how to do one. As people grow, their emotions develop and become more complex. It’s the complexity of developing emotions that drives the plot of Inside Out 2 (IO2, pronounced Eye-owe-two, like the surname of a lower league Ghanaian footballer). As well as the returning Sadness, Joy, Disgust (sadly no longer voiced by Mindy Kaling over a pay dispute), Anger and Fear, there are also new emotions in the form of Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui. Three of them slot effortlessly and are believable (albeit incredibly late arriving, are you saying other people didn’t have anxiety until they were teens? Lucky bastards), Ennui feels the most out of place and unnecessary.

The main difference in this entry is the importance placed on Sense Of Self. At first, it just seems like a clever way of displaying something, but the pay-off when Riley is affected by self-doubt, and how it affects her sense of self, is f*cking marvellous and one of the best things I’ve seen this year. It’s a perfect encapsulation of how you can crippled by anxiety and worries, and how they can lead to you keep making things worse in an attempt to make them better.

IO2 actually does a pretty good job of explaining the benefits of anxiety; preparing you for things which have not yet come to be (a bit like that super scary thing in The Muppet Christmas Carol). On the downside, that does mean that Joys arc of “oh, I see that negative emotions value now, I should help them and ease them into this system” is very similar to her arc in the first movie. I know there will be some narrative crossover, but there are times where it does feel like we’re just watching the same thing again.

That’s a very small issue though, overall it’s delightful, in a kind of depressing way. This, like all Pixar films, will break you slightly. But it will also rebuild you. That’s what Pixar do, they make you sad, but then they leave you feeling inspired and hopefull. They’re masters at it, and nobody does it better, except for Carly Simon.

Fun fact btw: When I left the cinema after seeing this I overheard a small child say it wasn’t very realistic because “why would someone’s brain make them feel worse?”. That poor sweet innocent child.