Category: Review

Rental Family (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Struggling to find purpose, an American actor lands an unusual gig with a Japanese agency to play stand-in roles for strangers. As he immerses himself in his clients’ worlds, he begins to form genuine bonds that blur the lines between performance and reality.

Thoughts Going In: None, it was a secret screening, and I assumed it would be Saipan.

If you think about this movie for more than a minute, it falls apart. Not just one or two moments. I mean, the entire premise falls apart. He’s in Japan because he received an acting job there years ago, so why would the Rental Family company hire him to pretend to be someone else for different families? They must know that at least one person will go “hang on, I’ve seen you on TV” and find him on IMDB, and thus find out his real name. Unsurprisingly, that does happen. Yes, it was just an advert (and a few TV shows), but if Barry Scott from the Cillit Bang adverts turned up at a pet shop in Cardiff, a few customers would notice. There are a few other issues I have with RF: the two subplots of him pretending to be a fan of a female performing duo and playing video games with a male shut-in just disappear. Would it have been too much of a stretch to have him take the shut-in to see the singers and have him befriend one of the women? So they have a genuine fan, and he has a reason to leave the house. There’s also another character who is clearly important to Phillip, yet is only in two scenes and really isn’t given enough to do. Overall, it’s a mess which doesn’t do enough to flesh out most of its characters.

So why did I like it so much? Even as deeply flawed as it is, it’s really hard to not feel charmed by it. There are two main relationships Phillip has as part of his job: one with retired actor Kikuo Hasegawa (Akira Emoto), and one with a schoolgirl called Mia (Shannon Mahina Gorman). With Kikuo, Phillip has to pretend to be a journalist making a profile of him. With Mia, he has to pretend to be her father who abandoned her, because the school that her mother wants her to attend is very old-fashioned and needs to believe Mia is part of a traditional family (again, not sure how this will work once she’s there and tells teachers her dad left again). Both allow him to display different sides of his personality and background. It is somewhat strange that they don’t overlap at all, but that’s maybe my brain being wired by too many episodes of Seinfeld, where two separate plots meeting at the end was one of their trademarks.

They’re both emotional as hell, and both end up as you’d expect them to. It’s really not a surprise that the old actor with dementia will die, and it’s also not a surprise that Mia will find out the truth. But if you go into a film like this expecting to be surprised, you have the wrong mindset. This isn’t a movie for plot twists and surprises; it’s a movie to sit back and watch, allow it to emotionally wrap itself around you in a comforting embrace. It’s not a film to challenge you; it just makes you happy, makes you sad, then makes you happy again. That’s not to say it’s stupid or simple. A lot is going on with the workers of the Rental Family company, but I wish that stuff were given more time, as some of it doesn’t really have enough time to land emotionally: Aiko’s arc, where she gradually gets tired of being yelled at and called a whore by random women because the husbands are too weak, feels like it could have been explored more. I would like to have seen more of Shinji, his boss, but I’m not sure how that could have been done without exposing his secret early.

In summary, flawed brilliance.

Hamnet (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: There once was a playwright called Will
Whose son became unfortunately ill
His death caused his family a shook
400 years later, a book
And many reviewers said it was brill

Thoughts Going In: This is going to be incredible and moving. I’d heard it was very good, so I was looking forward to it.

There are times when my viewpoints don’t align with those of most reviewers. This may be one of those times. At the time of writing, Hamnet has an 84 score on Metacritic, which means on average, reviewers see it as an 8.5 out of 10 (as opposed to RottenTomatoes, where it would mean 84% of reviewers have given it a 3/5 or more). Many reviews have described it as one of the best films of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it, but I’d be disappointed if this ended up among the best of the year. It’s emotional, perfectly acted, and looks beautiful. But it feels so hollow; two actors in search of a script. It feels like it spends most of its time just spinning its wheels, trying to think of a justification for itself before it reaches the end.

The end is superb, though. When Agnes realises the pain William is in and how he’s channelling it through his work, it’s incredibly powerful. The entire film is building towards this moment, and it doesn’t disappoint. It reminds you just how great an actor Paul Mescal is. For most of the film’s runtime, every scene belongs to Jessie Buckley, who owns every moment she’s in, but the ending is where Mescal shines.

Maybe it’s because I haven’t read the novel it’s based on. It seems like readers of it have appreciated the film a lot; whereas those who haven’t read it are a little more lukewarm. Or I just found it a bit too Oscar-bait, overly artsy at times, where I would have preferred it to be a bit simpler. There’s a high chance it was my expectations that ruined this; I expected Hamnet to die earlier, and for the film to be mostly about the aftermath of that. Nope, we spend most of the film building up the relationship between the characters; setting up the situation, etc., THEN he dies. I get that, it makes a lot of sense. It just wasn’t what I expected, and it’s not what I would have preferred. It feels somewhat cheap to criticise a movie just because it’s not what you personally would have liked, but in the end, isn’t that what all reviews are? If there were a movie called “All Daily Mail Journalists Should Be Shot In The Face”, and it was 90 minutes of justifying why everybody who works for, or even reads The Daily Mail should be shot in the face, I don’t think that paper would give it a positive review, no matter how well-written it is.

In summary; Hamnet is a superb film that’s expertly made and performed. It’s a film that will be studied and discussed for decades, and will rightfully win a lot of awards. It’s also a film that, for whatever reason, I didn’t connect with at all until the final scene. I left the film not knowing more about Shakespeare, and not feeling any closer to him or his work.

Song Sung Blue (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Lightning and Thunder, a Milwaukee husband and wife Neil Diamond tribute act, experience soaring success and devastating heartbreak in their musical journey together.

Thoughts Going In: I am never going to be able to remember that title. I’m not sure how much I’m going to get from this film, as I really don’t give a shit about Neil Diamond, let alone an impersonator.

As you can guess from my thoughts going in, there was a high chance I wasn’t going to vibe with this film. I don’t actively hate Neil Diamond; I feel the same way about him as I do about the Sega Mega Drive. I recognise it’s a huge deal to a lot of people, but outside of one or two tiny things (Solitary Man and Sword Of Vermillion), I have had zero connection, and it’s too late for me to get one now. I hadn’t seen any trailers so I legit had no idea what to expect. So when the film starts with the main character in an alcoholics anonymous meeting, pulling out an acoustic guitar and starting to sing like a douche at a house party (only without Wonderwall), my expectations were lower than Shemika Campbell’s 2010 world-record-setting limbo (yes, I did research that).

Song Sung Blue is incredibly melodramatic, to the point where it’s almost comedic, even during some of the most serious moments. The main character is delusional and selfish to the point of narcissism; taking it as a personal offence when a group of bikers don’t like Neil Diamond songs, or when a promoter who exclusively books cover artists asks him to play cover songs. The central romance doesn’t feel natural; the audience has no desire to see the two together before they get together; it happens so quickly that we don’t really get a sense of who they are outside of the relationship.

All of that was a long way to say that this film pushes a lot of my “Not for me” buttons, so why did it charm me so? It’s a genuinely fascinating story to watch; comprised of moments which, if you saw in fiction, you’d dismiss as unrealistic or stupid, but it all genuinely happened. The side characters are mostly lovable, especially the two teens. I’d love to see Ella Anderson and King Princess together again; they have great chemistry with each other, which I’d like to see explored further. Hugh Jackman is fine; most of the issues I had were with his character, not the performance. Kate Hudson probably gives the best performance; her character suffers so much over the duration, and her performance is the only thing that sells it. It’s full of moments which are life-affirming and sweet, with a warmth that is missing from many modern films.

I alluded to it earlier, SSB is based on a true story; specifically, a documentary of the same title released in 2008. I haven’t seen the documentary, so I don’t know what was taken from it and what was changed (I’m guessing the home movies played a big part in the documentary), so I won’t be judging it based on that. It’s going to be weird to say, but I kind of hope that a lot of this was invented for the sake of this film, because if it’s not, then the lead character is kind of a dick. Especially after his wife loses her leg. She’s traumatised by it and is not shown an ounce of compassion or love by her husband. Would it be that hard to show him displaying kindness to her?

When it works, it really does work, though. The gig with Pearl Jam is the culmination of everything this film wants to be: charming, loving, funny, and life-affirming. There are many small moments throughout that are just like that, but that’s the best example of how powerful it can be when it tries. I wish it had more moments like that, but I appreciate that it would feel a little much after a while.

In summary, not a brilliant movie, but worth your time watching.

Wake Up Dead Man (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A baffling death inside a quiet church draws Benoit Blanc into a tense investigation where faith secrets and suspicion blur as a close community turns against itself.

I should note that this will be my last review of 2025. To be honest, I just couldn’t be bothered to go see Anaconda, and Marty Supreme wasn’t available for viewing at my local cinema until 2026. Plus, it feels right to end 2025 on this movie. A few weeks ago, I was discussing the end-of-year awards with someone, and I mentioned the potential winners for “best film”. I narrowed it down to a list of five, but added “There’s a gap left for the new Knives Out”. In a year of uncertainty, I was certain it would reach that. So it’s weird that I don’t think it has matched my expectations. It’s not a bad film; it is still amazing, but it does feel like a slight downgrade from the two previous entries. It does improve on a second watch, but the initial feeling of slight disappointment doesn’t leave.

The main issue is that there’s very little Benoit in this Benoit movie. He doesn’t appear for 40 minutes. Now, Jud is a good character, played brilliantly by Josh O’Connor. But he’s not Benoit Blanc, so you do spend the time waiting for him to arrive. The lack of Benoit does break with tradition somewhat, but other than that, it stills to the formula pretty well; someone is dead, there’s a cast of characters all played by phenomenal actors, there’s a picturesque location, Blanc teams up with someone who is kind and very good at their job, plus there’s some weirdness.

I have no complaints about that. The formula works, so breaking it just for the sake of breaking the formula would feel silly. It does make me feel a bit sad that we won’t get to see some of these performers in another Knives Out movie; Jeffrey Wright, in particular, feels underutilised. Cailee Spaeny continues to be absolutely fantastic in everything she does. Josh O’Connor is good enough that it only took roughly 10 minutes for my brain to stop going “Is that Ralph Little?”.

The world-building of these movies frustrates me. On the one hand, it is great that they reference cases we haven’t seen; it makes it feel like the character exists outside of this universe. On the other hand, the two cases we have seen would be pretty high profile; one involved the death of a world-famous author, and the other involved an Elon Musk proxy. You’d think that would have come up in this. The right-wing influencer definitely would have asked Blanc about Miles Bron, and a best-selling author would definitely ask about Harlan Thrombey. I’m not asking for the entire film to revolve around the previous entries, but it would be interesting to see Blanc dismiss their questions as he’s too focused on the current case. Also, the first movie had Martha vomiting on Chris Evans, Glass Onion had the moment where everyone smashes shit up. Both of them are moments which are highly cathartic and entertaining, moments which you can point to as highlights of the year. There’s no equivalent in this. There’s no moment which stands out as being a highlight.

I do genuinely love this movie; it’s a solid 9/10 at the very least, but the others are so close to perfection that you can’t see this as anything other than a downgrade. Like the other two entries, it does NAIL the closing, though. It’s definitely the best Netflix movie of the year, but when their other efforts have included “Kinda Pregnant”, that’s not a high bar to clear.

Avatar: Fire And Ash (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: After dealing with air in the original and water in the sequel, it’s now fire’s time to shine when the conflict on Pandora escalates as Jake and Neytiri’s family encounter a new, aggressive Na’vi tribe.

Are you ready for the most cinematically blasphemous sentence I’ve ever uttered? Oh, you’re not.

Okay, how about now? Good, then I’ll begin: I think of the Avatar movies a lot like the Transformers and Insidious films.

Now that the fire and ash-hole chants have died down, I’ll explain. I have seen all three Avatar movies at the cinema, I’m pretty sure I’ve watched all three Insidious movies too, and at least two Transformer movies. Now, can I name more than three characters from either of those? Nope. I have always admired the Avatar movies for their technical brilliance. There’s barely a single frame which doesn’t look spectacular (although I personally found the drugged sequence in this one kind of goofy). These movies are cinematic art, and I will never not be wowed by them. Although the negative consequence of both this and Water being filmed at the same time means that the visual jump between the two of them isn’t nearly as impressive. This still looks fantastic, but outside of some of the fire sequences, you’ve seen a lot of before.

The stories, however? I’ve always found them to be a little bit emotionally sterile. Avatar: Fire And Ash (A: FAA, pronounced Ah-fah! like you’re singing Knowing Me Knowing You) already slightly soured itself with me by making Spider such a prominent character. Something about his character annoys me, and I can’t quite figure out what. I think it’s partly because he reminds me of when kids’ TV shows written by old people would introduce a “hip” new character who would enter and immediately be worshipped by everybody because he could do a kickflip. I also found it recreated most of the story beats from the previous films, especially the second one.

On the upside, the action sequences are among the most dynamic the franchise has ever seen. Oona Chaplin oozes a mix of danger and sexuality that you can’t take your eyes off. Stephen Lang’s character is given much more to do than be the stereotypical Colonel of before. The background characters are more fleshed out than they ever have been, meaning that this is the first in the franchise that feels like it belongs to the universe rather than just Jake (although a lot of characters keep ending up in just the right place, which makes the planet seem small). It got me very excited for the future; it truly feels like it lays the groundwork for something spectacular. Also, it’s just nice to see spectacle in the cinema. This would not work on a mobile phone or a laptop; it deserves a big screen.

In summary, I have never been as simultaneously bored and impressed.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Billy is traumatised by the death of his parents, so every December he kills 24 people in the build-up to Christmas, as you do.

There are a lot of iconic horror franchises; I haven’t watched them all. Silent Night, Deadly Night (or SN, DN, pronounced Seen Deen) is one of those I have no history with. I’ve seen the Kill Count videos on them, so I’m aware of them, their memes, characters, and kills. Basically, I have no personal stake in this movie. I’m not going to be personally offended at the changes, but equally, I’m not going to geek out over references beyond just going “I recognise that reference”. The last movie I was in that situation with was Black Christmas, back in 2019. That was the second remake of a Christmas-themed horror franchise that featured a killer named Billy that originated in a realistic 70’s movie, but for the second remake, it decided to make it supernatural and weird. Silent Night, Deadly Night is completely different; it’s based on an 80’s movie.

I am aware of the changes made to the lore, and it would be weird to not comment on them. Basically, the main character in this only kills people because if he doesn’t, a random person will die. So he decides to only kill bad people. Essentially, it’s Dexter Claus. I can see why they did it, and it does lead to a roomfull of nazi’s being brutally murdered in a scene I’m sure we can all hope to see recreated. But it does mean that this becomes the kind of horror film I don’t particularly like: bad things happening to bad people, where we’re supposed to cheer the murderer and think of how cool he is. At no point in this are you scared for any character’s well-being. At no point are you disgusted by the brutal killings. How can you be? If you witness someone go into a room of Nazi’s carrying a weapon, then you’re not going to sit there like “noooooo. Get out of their nazi’s! He’s going to kill you”. It also leads to my other problems; how many fucking killers are in this small town? It’s the kind of horror film which falls apart if you think about it too long. How does nobody notice people being killed? Compare it to Heart Eyes, where we saw news anchors talk about the horror of the killer striking every Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing like that in here. There’s no “every year, a random town in America is struck by a killer in a Santa costume”. It’s almost as if it doesn’t happen. This is most evident in the Nazi scene. A LOT of people die in that; the building is set on fire. It’s NEVER referenced again. There are no “wow, a lot of people didn’t turn up to work today” comments. No news reports about the Nazi paraphernalia that turns out to belong to beloved town figures. It has no impact. Also, if he has the power to see people who are evil, why was it he had no idea there were A LOT of nazi’s in that town? Does the person possessing him not see “being a racist POS who calls for the death of all non-whites” as evil? That’s fucked up.

I am fully aware I’m missing the point of this. This is not meant to be taken seriously. But everyone is allowed personal opinion, and this is not the kind of horror film I’m into. For the kind of people who like that kind of thing, that’s the kind of thing that those people like. But it’s not for me. It’s too dark to be fun, and too ridiculous to be scary. Also, I didn’t buy the romantic part; I saw no reason for her to be into him. Very minor complaint: he gets a job at her shop. It’s a Christmas-themed shop, selling ornaments and baubles etc. He starts there on 20th December. Forget the “he’s haunted by a ghost that tells him who’s naughty, and warns him of danger (unless it’s plot convenient)”, forget the “almost 100 people died in one night, and nobody notices”, him starting a Christmas job that late in December is the most unrealistic part of the whole darn thing.

The performances are okay. Rohan Campbell is fine, but not spectacular. I liked Ruby Modine; she has a weird likability, even when she’s displaying ultraviolence. On the subject of violence, the kills are good. If you like brutal deaths, then you’ll love this. Many of the deaths contain references to the original movie. Fans might not be so pleased with the supernatural elements, and I have a feeling some of them REALLY won’t be pleased with the ending. I can almost hear the “it’s gone woke!” complaints from here. On the plus side, it means that if there is a sequel, it will be guaranteed to be very different.

I kind of hope there is a sequel, as there’s potential. And once the writers stop trying so hard to make it different from the original and instead focus on just telling a coherent story, they could be onto a winner. Because the lore and characters have been established, the next step should be a lot cleaner to execute. So in summary, I really was not a fan of this. It was an overstuffed mess that lacked any sense of identity and was too focused on unlikeable characters. But I’ll still watch a sequel if it comes up. I probably wasn’t helped by the fact that I saw it in an almost empty room, so there wasn’t much audience reaction, which it feels like this film was made for.

Fackham Hall (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: Downtown Abbey meets Airplane, but not in a plane crash way.

We’re beginning to reach the end of 2025, which means it’s soon time for me to write the annual awards. So I’m starting to think of the best movies of the year. Among the obvious candidates are a film about the power of music mixed in with a gothic tale of racism and American history, a personal drama about trauma and family via a visit to a concentration camp, and a tale about the existence of the afterlife and all the implications of eternity. All very serious topics, all very “big”. Despite how that might make me look; I adore silliness. I like silly, fun little films, of which Fackham Hall is one of the best of the year. Really, the only comparison lately is The Naked Gun, which had the advantage of having an established style.

So, how does this compare? It’s not quite as joke heavy as TNG, with a distinct lack of sign-based jokes which aren’t signposted. There are also fewer background jokes. Basically, I don’t think there are any jokes that I missed that I’ll catch on a second viewing. So I didn’t laugh as often as I did during TNG, but I did laugh louder. I can remember more jokes from this than I can TNG, although that might be down to me having seen it more recently.

But does it stand out on its own? I’d say it does. There was a surprisingly full screening when I went, and everybody seemed entertained. Nobody walked out, which for a film barely advertised and which from the poster you could mistake for a period drama, was a pleasant surprise.

The performances are exactly what’s needed. I’m not familiar with Ben Radcliffe, but he does seem like he’d be perfect in an actual period drama. Thomasin McKenzie is building a weird filmography, which makes it hard to pin down her niche: JoJo Rabbit, Last Night In Soho, The Justice Of Bunny King, and now this. All of those are completely different films, and her roles are very different, yet they’re all somehow still “her”; she’s one of the most chameleonic (is that a word? Is now) performers around. Katherine Waterston is quickly becoming one of my favourite performers, which is odd as I’ve never intentionally seen a film because she’s in it; she just happens to be in films I watch, and happens to always be REALLY good. She has a face that feels like its come straight out of the 1940’s, so she’s perfect for films like this. She also has surprisingly perfect comic timing.

On the downside, the plot is muddled. The murder of the lord feels weird in terms of pacing. The arrival of the detective investigating it turns it more into a Hercule Poirot pastiche than a period parody. That feels like a genre rife for parody, but we’re not given enough time to fully explore that. I would be fully up for a sequel with that concept, by the way. If the murder was cut out, then it would leave a hole that needs fixing (and you’d lose one of the funniest sequences), but I’m sure it could be replaced with something more suitable. It feels like Jimmy Carr wanted to put those jokes in, not realising it might have been smarter to save them for a different film; now he can’t use those jokes and scenes in a more suitable film.

The reveal at the end is a bit too obvious, but not obvious enough that it seems deliberate and is, as such, a joke. Similar to the reveal of the murderer. But I think that if you go into a film like this expecting to be wowed by the plot, you’re in the wrong movie.

Really, the biggest negative of watching this is how it affected my viewing experience of another film. You know how, when you play Tetris or Guitar Hero, it changes the way you see things briefly? All you can see is falling circles and bricks for a while? I went through a comedic version of that. My brain watched the next fil,m and it took about 20 minutes for it to adjust and try not to see a joke in every single action or moment. That’s the biggest compliment I can give this film; It broke my brain with comedy.

Ella McCay (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: A look at the lives of those close to or under ella, Ella, Ella. That only works if you sing it like Rihanna’s Umbrella

On January 27, 1992, George HW Bush was making a speech during his re-election campaign that included the sentence “We are going to keep on trying to strengthen the American family, to make American families a lot more like the Waltons and a lot less like the Simpsons”, this was after his wife had described the show as “the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen”, which answers the question of whether she spent much time with her own son. Three days after Bush’s speech, the rerun of Stark Raving Dad (the Michael Jackson episode) featured a new opening; the family watching the speech on television, then Bart saying, “We’re just like the Waltons. We’re praying for an end to the depression, too”, which is a truly great joke. I do have a reason for saying this; it may be difficult to picture now, but there was a time when The Simpsons was considered subversive and dangerous, when schools forbade any Simpsons merchandise as they considered Bart a bad example.

I’m mentioning this because the writer/director of Ella McCay is James L. Brooks, one of the key writers for The Simpsons in its early years. With that in mind, it’s weird that he made this movie. On the one hand, it’s nice to see movies like this; simple movies about women going through tribulations which don’t involve sexual assault. Films which are ultimately pure at heart and can be watched on a Sunday afternoon after dinner. On the other hand, it feels socially irresponsible to make a movie in 2025 about US politics and have it be utterly toothless. If this were released 10 years ago, I’d have had no problems with it. I wouldn’t have loved it; it’s far too flawed for that, but I wouldn’t be quite as disappointed as I am. Today, Rob Reiner was murdered, and the President of the United States essentially responded that he died because he was anti-Trump. The most surprising part of that is that it’s not that surprising. This is the world we’re in now; if you make a political comedy, it needs bite. In 2025, making a movie like this feels like an act of cowardice.

But aside from that, how is it? It’s a mess. Characters are inconsistent in terms of behaviour; it seems to be written by an AI that’s ignoring previous input. There are so many stories running through it, but very few of them are given enough time to justify their existence. They all feel like they’re building towards something, then they just choose not to. This is most obvious with her dad. His story ends with her saying she won’t accept his apology. But it never looked like she was going to anyway, so it’s not really that satisfying an ending; nothing is gained or changed. There are moments where the film that it could be makes an appearance. Watching her verbally express her anxieties and worries in a cannabis-induced monologue is a fantastic window into her psyche, is close in quality to the monologue from Barbie, which is very high praise.

It feels like it was originally designed as an ensemble piece, focused on a large group of people all connected through one person; the trials and tribulations of her friends, family, and colleagues. But then, somewhere in the edit, they decided to cut out non-Ella scenes. As a result, none of the side-characters are memorable; they don’t feel like actual people with their own lives; they just feel like they don’t exist outside of Ella.

I refuse to accept that James L.Brooks has financial difficulties. He is not forced to make movies anymore. He’s at the stage of his career where every project should be a passion project. It should be “I NEED to tell this story, and only I can, it must be told”. So for him to be 85 years old and think that THIS is the film he needs to make? I can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

Plus, the title (Ella McCay) is far too close to the name of the lead actress (Emma Mackey), and I don’t like that. It’s not an actual issue, but it will mean I am forever not quite sure whether I’ve got the title of this film correct. Also, whenever anybody called out her name three times, my brain automatically ended “ey ey ey” and started singing Umbrella.

Eternity (2025) Review

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Quick Synopsis: In an afterlife where souls have one week to decide where to spend eternity, Joan is faced with the impossible choice between the man she spent her life with and her first love, who died young and has waited decades for her to arrive.

As we approach the end of 2025, my mind is starting to wander; what will the films of 2026 be like? How have I reviewed over 100 films this year? What will the awards be this year? I was discussing the awards with someone last week, specifically the “best film”. I had it narrowed down to four: Sinners, Last Breath, A Real Pain, and one place reserved for the new Knives Out. I looked at the films still to come and could only see sequels (Avatar), films which could be way too meta (Anaconda), and films I’m not even sure will get a local cinema release (Eleanor The Great, Sentimental Value). So there was nothing there I could see making a push for best film. Then I watched Eternity, which instantly shot to near the top of the pile.

As I watched, I was waiting for it to fall apart, waiting for a reason for me not have heard a rumble of excitement about this. It never came. Yes, the ending drags slightly and could be shortened by a few minutes, but that doesn’t take away from what is truly a majestic piece of filmmaking. From the opening, where an elderly couple complain whilst taking a car journey, to the closing, where the cinema usher shines a touch on me and tells me to please leave as the next film is about to start, I was fully onboard with what this film was selling.

It feels like this film was needed by two of the leads; Miles Teller still needs to recover from Fantastic Four, despite that film being released 10 years ago. Top Gun helped, but that film has a specific audience. Similarly, Elizabeth Olsen needs to step out of the Scarlet Witch shadow. I’m not that familiar with Callum Turner, but he matches the other two well; playing off them well. He has great chemistry with Olsen, which is essential to making you believe that she’d still be into him.

In a year full of openly feminist horror, silly parodies, and subversive comedies, it’s strange that it’s Eternity that is most in line with my sensibilities. Everything about this was something I would want to write. It’s funny when it needs to be, the characters are well-written, and you’ll spend most of the time on the verge of tears. I’ve not seen a film like this in a long time; a film that reminds me why I love writing; writing gives you the ability to explore ideas and concepts, worlds that may or may not exist. Eternity is a film that, if it gains a big audience, could launch a thousand fan-fictions. It will inspire long discussions that will go long into the night. It is at its heart, a romance story; and the “let’s discuss this” nature of it means that this could be the perfect date movie.

This deserves to be one of the biggest films of the year, but it won’t be. It’s too weird a subject for mass-market appeal. There are some scenes which are mostly subtext. Plus, it openly says there’s no heaven or hell, which severely impacts its chances of hitting middle America without being called anti-Christian. It’s not anti-Christian, by the way, it’s anti-all religions.

This has been a difficult review to write. It’s hard not to just repeat the words “this film is amazing, go see it”. It’s not perfect; like I said, it drags a bit towards the end, there really should be better music choices, and The Void isn’t as nightmare-inducing as it could be. Those are minor issues, though. Eternity is magnificent, I’ve already put it on my Christmas list for 2026

Five Nights At Freddy’s 2 (2025) Review

On By troubledproductionsIn ReviewLeave a comment

Quick Synopsis: One year has passed since the supernatural nightmare at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. Former security guard Mike has kept the truth from his 11-year-old sister, Abby, concerning the fate of her animatronic friends. When Abby sneaks out to reconnect with Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy, she sets into motion a terrifying series of events that reveal dark secrets about the true origin of Freddy’s.

I won’t lie, I could just repost my review of the first movie, SOOOO many of my issues with it are repeated here.

It’s a horror movie without gore, without suspense, and without scares. 

Yup, same here. It’s incredibly neutered. I’m not asking for full hardcore violence, but a little bit of blood and more disturbing sound design would have helped sell the violence.

Piper Rubio outshines all of them, though. She’s only 8 years old but never misses a beat, even when she has to express some relatively complex concepts. I haven’t seen a child perform this well since McKenna Grace in Gifted. Her relationship with her brother and her need for social acceptance are a core part of the narrative of FNAF. The moments where it dwells on that are the strongest parts of the film (that and the animatronic work, which is sublime).

The only part of this that is changed is that Piper Rubio is no longer 8. She’s still the strongest performer by a wide margin. Elizabeth Lail seems to be having an off-day; I know she can give a better performance than this. Also, that mention of McKenna Grace seemed to be weirdly prophetic, as she’s also in this. Not for long enough, though, I hope she has more screamtime (pun intentional) in Scream 7.

Like I said, when it’s not a horror movie, when it’s a family drama dealing with loss, that’s when it’s at its best.

Oh, that’s definitely the case here. The relationship between Mike and Abby is core to why this works. The two are so sweet together; so even when the film itself isn’t that entertaining, it’s just so damn nice to watch the interplay between the two.

The continuity lockout is much bigger for this than it was for the first one. If you’re not familiar with the original games, you’ll struggle to work out why certain things are met with dramatic music, or why some of the sentence structures feel clunky and designed to get certain phrases in. I have a slight knowledge of the games, so I recognised some of the references; but there were a few moments which I recognised as references, but didn’t get the references themselves (like when an American sitcom starts talking about NY politicians).

My biggest issue is the ending; it doesn’t really have one, not in the traditional sense anyway. Not in a “the story is complete and we’ve reached a dramatic conclusion” way. It ends with a character being possessed and about to hunt down everyone. That’s not an ending; that’s the third-act setback that leads to the ending. It feels like they cut an entire section out. I also wasn’t happy that seemingly essential plot points were in the middle of the credits. Not a fan of that, if something is important, it should be in the actual film, credits scenes are for fun stuff, not essential.

In summary, incredibly similar to the first one, but with newer mistakes.